FabSwingers.com forum: Hello to ALL

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

I know people don’t like the word “clique” but many years ago I was most probably part of it and now happily sit as a lone wolf never understanding why people complained of it, now I do, so here’s a post for ALL people to say hello on without feeling ignored by some.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rixie_BlondeWoman
43 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

Hiya!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
43 weeks ago

London

Hi OP. I re d to reply to people I’ve interacted with before, but try to open my comms to new people too. But I can’t (just time wise) acknowledge everyone all the time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
43 weeks ago

Midlands

I'd really appreciate your feedback here

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1564702

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
43 weeks ago

Covent Garden

Bookmarking This With Interest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Hi. From all of us at the clique

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Hi OP. I re d to reply to people I’ve interacted with before, but try to open my comms to new people too. But I can’t (just time wise) acknowledge everyone all the time. "

No one can acknowledge all I totally get that but this place can be mighty intimidating for some to try and engage especially when constantly ignored.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Hi. From all of us at the clique"

Yup that really helps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
43 weeks ago

London

"Hi OP. I re d to reply to people I’ve interacted with before, but try to open my comms to new people too. But I can’t (just time wise) acknowledge everyone all the time.

No one can acknowledge all I totally get that but this place can be mighty intimidating for some to try and engage especially when constantly ignored.

I get that, I found that when I first started. Just keep going. Albeit I appreciate it’s easier for me as a woman and as I know some people here IRL.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lik and PaulCouple
43 weeks ago

Flagrante

We've commented many times over the years and started a couple of threads but are generally ignored...it doesn't bother us though and will still comment when we have something to say.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ildbillkidMan
43 weeks ago

where the road goes on forever

Howdy from outside the clique

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
43 weeks ago

London

"Howdy from outside the clique "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Hi. From all of us at the clique

Yup that really helps "

We have to laugh about these things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ildbillkidMan
43 weeks ago

where the road goes on forever

"Howdy from outside the clique

"
xo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Hi. From all of us at the clique

Yup that really helps

We have to laugh about these things. "

Please explain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oo..Woman
43 weeks ago

Boo's World

No one should be ignored but unfortunately I can't see that changing anytime soon, but hello.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

If you come to try to fit in the clique you’ll find your experience disappointing. If you come to have a laugh, and entertain yourself you’ll find your experience more enjoyable.

Fuck the clique! Enjoy yourself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

It’s online tone is extremely difficult to judge

People feel more comfortable judging the tone of those they know better

That’s about all there is too it really

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affron40Woman
43 weeks ago

manchester

I hear you. To me it feels less inclusive than I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s because I’m not on here much and my heads in a different place. But I feel it’s less welcoming.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ceKweenWoman
43 weeks ago

Bolton

I love a good topic and would love to join in on more occasions than I actually do.. but yes, I agree there is a ‘if your face fits’ feel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elix SightedMan
43 weeks ago

Cloud 8

I always make a point of welcoming people who announce themselves as new.

It’s difficult because some people are very occasional posters and I find that with a lot of the threads in the lounge, there’s a rhythm. If people stay and contribute regularly, they probably find that tempo and mix in well.

There are a good number of us who have met at socials and the like, so there will always be ‘private’ jokes made. And people will always reference ‘that’ thread from last year.

It’s just how a community works. But I don’t believe anyone here sets out to make people feel unwelcome.

I would just recommend to new posters to keep coming and keep at it. Laugh off the silly shit and enjoy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
43 weeks ago

Midlands

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.

When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.

I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.

Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.

I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.

If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elix SightedMan
43 weeks ago

Cloud 8

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.

When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.

I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.

Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.

I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.

If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you"

Sorry who is this?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BootyfulDayWoman
43 weeks ago

…

Hello OP and all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
43 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"I hear you. To me it feels less inclusive than I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s because I’m not on here much and my heads in a different place. But I feel it’s less welcoming. "

•

Saffwrøng, that's because the clique/s have been replaced with new and improved 'friendship bubbles'. Less hot air than before but more effervescence...•°°*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
43 weeks ago

Midlands

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.

When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.

I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.

Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.

I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.

If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you

Sorry who is this?"

Finally someone has responded to my comment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

I totally understand and accept that you have to “feel your way” into any social setting (no pun intended) and I include forums in this.

I also know that a lot of you meet in socials, I was part of that for a long time.

It’s interesting though what people are saying here.

Will things change? Most probably not. However for me I feel that if someone makes an effort to make a point on a thread that for me is well thought out then to see it passed by or taken off in multiple directions can detract from them interacting.

If you read comments on how men can get noticed on fab or anyone in general most times it mentions to interact in the forums

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

East Sussex

Hello op.

Inclusion very much depends on certain factors.

A young, single man will not be included in quite the same way as a young, single woman for instance

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elix SightedMan
43 weeks ago

Cloud 8

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.

When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.

I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.

Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.

I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.

If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you

Sorry who is this?

Finally someone has responded to my comment

Got your back jack! Or your willy, erm, willy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r SproutMan
43 weeks ago

the middle

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

If I’ve not responded to you on any of my threads I apologise. I have a scatter gun approach and don’t return to many threads I post in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

Oh and hello to all commenting and hopefully will continue to as it’s soon time for me to get my fat head on the pillow and sleep

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
43 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

Good evening OP

I come and go from the forums (and fab) a lot.

You see new faces and also old faces. Some people dip in and out while others spend their whole day on here. Just do you, be yourself and have a laugh. There are also lots of other forums on here besides the lounge too. If all else fails, create a female profile and then you’ll be quids in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
43 weeks ago

Midlands

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

For myself, who is relatively new, this is a good observation.

When I joined here I was totally ignored. People jumping my comments and interacting with others. Whether it's subconscious from others, maybe.

I found it a little frustrating to start with, but a lot of people come here in short bursts to interact with their friends. The more you post, the more you get noticed.

Maybe a lot like familiarity and take comfort in that.

I'm quite stubborn so I persevered and it doesn't take long for people to start interacting with you. If people like you, they will interact with.

If you're a lady, they'll definitely interact with you

Sorry who is this?

Finally someone has responded to my comment

Got your back jack! Or your willy, erm, willy

In only read your name as it should be the other day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
43 weeks ago

Leeds

They are definitely not inclusive as some try to make them out to be.

You can usually tell what threads are going to end up in a conversation between certain people which could be taken to DM's so I tend to avoid them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Hi.

I don't know if it's just me, but I don't comment in the hope of making friends or building relationship of any sort. As I don't expect it. I write on the forum if someone has posted something that I feel I want to reply to. I get my point across. Yes 99.9999999% the time the points get ignored, but I don't expect them to be replied to. If people read them, then great, if they don't it doesn't matter as I have said what I wanted to say.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
43 weeks ago

Hello OP.

I think that inclusivity is great, of course I do. I also think that you shouldn't expect people to reply to every post in a thread, nor for everyone to get a response. For one, it's time consuming to reply to every poster. Equally. Like on this thread.

I do think that posters who persevere, who comment more are more likely to be seen, to be responded to. Is that always right? Not necessarily. And there can be a bias towards more conventionally attractive posters.

I try and reply to a mix of posters in my threads, those I know and those I don't. When I'm on here to have fun, I enjoy interacting with people whose sense of humour I know, where I don't have to worry about my comments being misconstrued etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
43 weeks ago

Belfast

I've spoken before on here about how I posted off and on in the lounge for almost 18 months before a single comment was acknowledged and if it hadn't been for a better response in the Ireland forum I would have given up completely.

During those 18 months I also started approx 30 or 40 threads and not one of them received a single reply.

I've seen former forumites lauded as inclusive and welcoming and people saying how much they miss them.

Strangely I didn't find the private messages they sent me or the way they mocked me publicly very inclusive or welcoming so I'm delighted they are no longer able to post.

I'm not getting into the clique debate because the usual suspects will have their copy and paste replies at the ready.

Some people love the forums while some live for them.

I genuinely do wonder at times how some posters function beyond the walls of the forums because they seem to spend every waking minute starting threads and responding to most others.

I could say it's a little sad that they need such levels of validation but that might give the impression they are worthy of my empathy.

I will continue to post when I feel like it and while I accept that everyone has different experiences my experience in more than 4 years using the forums is that caring and sharing are just given lipservice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Those saying it's ok if you're female, I don't think that's the case. A certain number of women will always be mentioned or have questions asked of them in threads. The popularity contests.

It's worth being careful about which threads you join - makes quite a difference to the Fab experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
43 weeks ago

Leeds

"I've spoken before on here about how I posted off and on in the lounge for almost 18 months before a single comment was acknowledged and if it hadn't been for a better response in the Ireland forum I would have given up completely.

During those 18 months I also started approx 30 or 40 threads and not one of them received a single reply.

I've seen former forumites lauded as inclusive and welcoming and people saying how much they miss them.

Strangely I didn't find the private messages they sent me or the way they mocked me publicly very inclusive or welcoming so I'm delighted they are no longer able to post.

I'm not getting into the clique debate because the usual suspects will have their copy and paste replies at the ready.

Some people love the forums while some live for them.

I genuinely do wonder at times how some posters function beyond the walls of the forums because they seem to spend every waking minute starting threads and responding to most others.

I could say it's a little sad that they need such levels of validation but that might give the impression they are worthy of my empathy.

You said it so much better than me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

During those 18 months I also started approx 30 or 40 threads and not one of them received a single reply.

I've seen former forumites lauded as inclusive and welcoming and people saying how much they miss them.

Strangely I didn't find the private messages they sent me or the way they mocked me publicly very inclusive or welcoming so I'm delighted they are no longer able to post.

I'm not getting into the clique debate because the usual suspects will have their copy and paste replies at the ready.

Some people love the forums while some live for them.

I genuinely do wonder at times how some posters function beyond the walls of the forums because they seem to spend every waking minute starting threads and responding to most others.

I could say it's a little sad that they need such levels of validation but that might give the impression they are worthy of my empathy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entle_lover_xMan
43 weeks ago

Great Dunmow

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

Generally I think it is fine but at times it feels very cliquey and a small number of posters really reinforce this. The worst thing is when somebody who doesn’t post so much starts a thread and it quickly gets taken over by a few people who know each other making it about them and making various irrelevant in joke comments that are completely meaningless to anybody not in the know. Well that and somebody asking something serious and getting a barrage of sarcastic responses - yes you may have seen the topic before but new poster hasn’t. I’ve spoken to people I’ve met about Forum and the widespread view is that it is cliquey and one of reasons they don’t bother posting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
43 weeks ago

Midlands

"Those saying it's ok if you're female, I don't think that's the case. A certain number of women will always be mentioned or have questions asked of them in threads. The popularity contests.

It's worth being careful about which threads you join - makes quite a difference to the Fab experience. "

I get what you're saying but I do believe people will interact with you more. Maybe you'll get hounded with vile messages I don't know?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Those saying it's ok if you're female, I don't think that's the case. A certain number of women will always be mentioned or have questions asked of them in threads. The popularity contests.

It's worth being careful about which threads you join - makes quite a difference to the Fab experience.

I get what you're saying but I do believe people will interact with you more. Maybe you'll get hounded with vile messages I don't know?"

People will interact with me more? I don't follow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
43 weeks ago

London

I don’t disagree with anyone’s personal experience of these forums. But for me personally, they’ve been a lifesaver at some of my darkest times. Quite literally a lifesaver.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
43 weeks ago

Leeds

"I don’t disagree with anyone’s personal experience of these forums. But for me personally, they’ve been a lifesaver at some of my darkest times. Quite literally a lifesaver. "

You are one of the lucky ones x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"I don’t disagree with anyone’s personal experience of these forums. But for me personally, they’ve been a lifesaver at some of my darkest times. Quite literally a lifesaver. "

When the forums work they can work amazingly well and everyone uses them for different reasons and the “release” of daily life can be fantastic.

Sadly not all get that from them and over ma h years I have seen things written about and to others that I definitely hope no one would say to their face

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avexxMan
43 weeks ago

cheshire

"Hi.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

*many years

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
43 weeks ago

London

"I don’t disagree with anyone’s personal experience of these forums. But for me personally, they’ve been a lifesaver at some of my darkest times. Quite literally a lifesaver.

You are one of the lucky ones x"

It’s been a long process though. It wasn’t always good.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
43 weeks ago

London

"I don’t disagree with anyone’s personal experience of these forums. But for me personally, they’ve been a lifesaver at some of my darkest times. Quite literally a lifesaver.

When the forums work they can work amazingly well and everyone uses them for different reasons and the “release” of daily life can be fantastic.

Sadly not all get that from them and over ma h years I have seen things written about and to others that I definitely hope no one would say to their face "

I agree. I do get that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orwegian BlueMan
43 weeks ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Used to comment in the forums regularly but then the posters of the "squirt or gush" and " hairy or shaved" threads were all ostrichsized..

After that it was all too high brow for my liking..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Used to comment in the forums regularly but then the posters of the "squirt or gush" and " hairy or shaved" threads were all ostrichsized..

After that it was all too high brow for my liking..

Ostrichsized. That is genius!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
43 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

I ignore everyone in equal measure

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
43 weeks ago

Bham

Hi everyone.

I do think you need to regularly comment if you want posts to be acknowledged and kind of get your face/avatar known.

Even then you won't have made an impact with everyone.

Just add your two pennies where you want and don't expect anything back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Hi everyone.

I do think you need to regularly comment if you want posts to be acknowledged and kind of get your face/avatar known.

Even then you won't have made an impact with everyone.

Just add your two pennies where you want and don't expect anything back. "

I don't have a problem with that (but it's not my first rodeo...sorry...

) but I think single men particularly can find it pretty harsh at times. I don't have a solution.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

Thank you all for your replies.

It is time for me to sleep. For those that know me it’s about 3 hours past my bed time ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ceKweenWoman
43 weeks ago

Bolton

"Thank you all for your replies.

It is time for me to sleep. For those that know me it’s about 3 hours past my bed time ?? "

Not hit midnight yet..

Have a lie in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orwegian BlueMan
43 weeks ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

"Used to comment in the forums regularly but then the posters of the "squirt or gush" and " hairy or shaved" threads were all ostrichsized..

After that it was all too high brow for my liking..

Ostrichsized. That is genius!!"

Tell that to the grammar nazis!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig_eric_tionMan
43 weeks ago

IPSWICH

After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Thank you all for your replies.

It is time for me to sleep. For those that know me it’s about 3 hours past my bed time ??

Not hit midnight yet..

Have a lie in "

Who will feed the chickens and ducks?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Used to comment in the forums regularly but then the posters of the "squirt or gush" and " hairy or shaved" threads were all ostrichsized..

After that it was all too high brow for my liking..

Ostrichsized. That is genius!!

Tell that to the grammar nazis!

I'm a grammar Nazi and I love it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
43 weeks ago

Leeds

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations. "

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

How can I get in?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
43 weeks ago

Dorchester

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ceKweenWoman
43 weeks ago

Bolton

"Thank you all for your replies.

It is time for me to sleep. For those that know me it’s about 3 hours past my bed time ??

Not hit midnight yet..

Have a lie in

Who will feed the chickens and ducks?"

I will gladly… once I get the freshest egg breakfast and a cup of tea

(Who said romance was dead)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
43 weeks ago

Leeds

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

I'm definitely not a sheep

(well maybe the black one)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig_eric_tionMan
43 weeks ago

IPSWICH

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

Oh no not the clique. I reckon I can handle it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
43 weeks ago

Leeds

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

Oh no not the clique. I reckon I can handle it.

I'll get my pom poms out and cheer you on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig_eric_tionMan
43 weeks ago

IPSWICH

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

Oh no not the clique. I reckon I can handle it.

I'll get my pom poms out and cheer you on

Please do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I just like to comment and run!!

It’s my “Mike Drop / Boom” moment!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mf123Man
43 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

I burned my bridges long ago til the clique became a clap now i watch and say random nonesense that entertains me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ookie46Woman
43 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Hey OP I see you and welcome

I comment on a variety of threads and I’m a pretty inclusive person but yes I do notice on some threads I may not get responded to but the majority of other forum users do but that’s there prerogative I’m not gonna lose sleep sleep over it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
43 weeks ago

Leeds

"I burned my bridges long ago til the clique became a clap now i watch and say random nonesense that entertains me"

You were in with the clique

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Hi. From all of us at the clique"

And there it is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Op, the forum is inclusive, because the website is. You may find some people stick with their friends and some threads might already not be as inclusive as you’d hope.

I’m not, I just want to talk to the hotties.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
43 weeks ago

Leeds

No random internet people never talk to me. It’s get me so down and so low that to make myself feel better, I go out and skin cats.

The mr

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"No random internet people never talk to me. It’s get me so down and so low that to make myself feel better, I go out and skin cats.

The mr "

^ I ignore this dude, because he’s not a hottie.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
43 weeks ago

Leeds

"No random internet people never talk to me. It’s get me so down and so low that to make myself feel better, I go out and skin cats.

The mr

^ I ignore this dude, because he’s not a hottie.

See what I mean, this level of disrespect is all I get on here. Think I might have to delete my profile, they’ll be none left soon, poor cats.

The mr

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

During those 18 months I also started approx 30 or 40 threads and not one of them received a single reply.

I've seen former forumites lauded as inclusive and welcoming and people saying how much they miss them.

Strangely I didn't find the private messages they sent me or the way they mocked me publicly very inclusive or welcoming so I'm delighted they are no longer able to post.

I'm not getting into the clique debate because the usual suspects will have their copy and paste replies at the ready.

Some people love the forums while some live for them.

I genuinely do wonder at times how some posters function beyond the walls of the forums because they seem to spend every waking minute starting threads and responding to most others.

I could say it's a little sad that they need such levels of validation but that might give the impression they are worthy of my empathy.

Completely agree with this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
43 weeks ago

Weymouth

"I hear you. To me it feels less inclusive than I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s because I’m not on here much and my heads in a different place. But I feel it’s less welcoming.

•

Saffwrøng, that's because the clique/s have been replaced with new and improved 'friendship bubbles'. Less hot air than before but more effervescence...•°°*"

This is adorable!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
43 weeks ago

Weymouth

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
43 weeks ago

Weymouth

Have been using the forum for coming up to 2 years now, haven't made any sort of presence for myself but sometimes it's cathartic to shout into the void!

- Xeno

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
43 weeks ago

Bham

Also can someone self me a list of clique suspects. Because I'm never sure who is clique and who is not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

Haha. … or they normally start a thread.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

I've been here 16 years and plenty of my comments don't get responses. OP

Don't sweat it.

Just post and be damned.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

Haha. … or they normally start a thread.

They all veri each other...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
43 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I try to engage with all OP. And welcome

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
43 weeks ago

Southampton

Hello

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

Haha. … or they normally start a thread.

They all veri each other... "

I only veri my friends…. Oh wait.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
43 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"After several years on here I can confirm there is a clique. The clique does vary but its there. I comment occasionally with no expectations.

Careful....they'll be along in a minute denying all knowledge of one and asking how they can get in

Haha. … or they normally start a thread.

They all veri each other...

I only veri my friends…. Oh wait.

*waves*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
43 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

The forums are far from inclusive for a lot of people I have found over the years.

While yes usually the more you post the better known you are as a poster on here but posting does not equate popularity,despite what some think.

Yes there are groups on here who completely ignore others and just chat within their own group. There are plenty others who just pop in and out and post on the few threads that take their interest. I would be one of those.

But they are definitely not inclusive and they are very much more in favour of women who post than men on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

East Sussex

I think the forums are representative of any social group. Over the years I've attended many already established groups, people en masse are unfriendly, exclusive and will stick with the people they know unless there's someone who is willing to welcome newcomers and that's fairly unusual.

There are at least some on these forums who will make an effort with newcomers but as with 'real life' if those new people happen to be a little awkward, not great at articulating what they want to say or just a little 'different' they're not going to get a lot of interaction.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ehindHerEyesCouple
43 weeks ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

A late hello from me.

Unfortunately it's a myth that the longer you hang around the forum the more people will engage with you.

I know that I'm ignored by many and tolerated by few but I'm OK with that.

Marc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
43 weeks ago

Reading

they can be harsh and there are definite friend groups which can be cliquey but the dynamics change regularly. as long as you have a thick skin and don't take any of it seriously you will be fine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
43 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

The thing I find with any online forum is that you need to break in. People are more likely to engage with faces or names they recognise. It takes a concerted effort to become a recognised name.

There are some longstanding friendships in here and people will revert to form. Some more than others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I dip in and out and reply to threads /posts i find interesting or relevant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi_RougeWoman
43 weeks ago

Portsmouth

"I love a good topic and would love to join in on more occasions than I actually do.. but yes, I agree there is a ‘if your face fits’ feel "

I think it's more about the dick fitting...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyond PurityCouple
43 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

I think your experience on the forums depends on many factors - time here, how interactive you are and whether you have boobs or not

My posts are, in the main, ignored but I don’t really post for constant interaction or validation - I think if you use the forums for your benefit and don’t worry about what others do then you’ll get a much better experience from it.

I know when C’s been online from the message box being more yellows

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
43 weeks ago

West Bromwich

"I always make a point of welcoming people who announce themselves as new.

There are a good number of us who have met at socials and the like, so there will always be ‘private’ jokes made. And people will always reference ‘that’ thread from last year.

It’s just how a community works. But I don’t believe anyone here sets out to make people feel unwelcome.

I would just recommend to new posters to keep coming and keep at it. Laugh off the silly shit and enjoy!"

Do you not think that some people (like me) end up as occasional posters because when they do post, and it is 'ignored', they feel like it's not worth posting?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady CurvaceousWoman
43 weeks ago

Kent

Hello

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
43 weeks ago

Bham

"I always make a point of welcoming people who announce themselves as new.

There are a good number of us who have met at socials and the like, so there will always be ‘private’ jokes made. And people will always reference ‘that’ thread from last year.

It’s just how a community works. But I don’t believe anyone here sets out to make people feel unwelcome.

I would just recommend to new posters to keep coming and keep at it. Laugh off the silly shit and enjoy!

Do you not think that some people (like me) end up as occasional posters because when they do post, and it is 'ignored', they feel like it's not worth posting? "

I don't think there's a way round that. I'm an occasional poster these days. You either accept that or become a more regular poster.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
43 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

Don’t worry people - if you’re not getting much interaction on here, it’s because you’re one of the above.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
43 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I always make a point of welcoming people who announce themselves as new.

There are a good number of us who have met at socials and the like, so there will always be ‘private’ jokes made. And people will always reference ‘that’ thread from last year.

It’s just how a community works. But I don’t believe anyone here sets out to make people feel unwelcome.

I would just recommend to new posters to keep coming and keep at it. Laugh off the silly shit and enjoy!

Do you not think that some people (like me) end up as occasional posters because when they do post, and it is 'ignored', they feel like it's not worth posting? "

I think that's a self-perpetuating cycle. The less people post, the less people are likely to interact, because people are more likely to interact with people they know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adyBugsWoman
43 weeks ago

cognito

I just barge into the thread and leave my 2p worth before fluttering off like nothing ever happened and I don’t care about the fallout

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adyBugsWoman
43 weeks ago

cognito

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

If I’ve not responded to you on any of my threads I apologise. I have a scatter gun approach and don’t return to many threads I post in

Also, this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

East Sussex

Don’t worry people - if you’re not getting much interaction on here, it’s because you’re one of the above.

I worded that badly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Don’t worry people - if you’re not getting much interaction on here, it’s because you’re one of the above.

I worded that badly. "

I think most people can see that you're very inclusive on the forums though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

East Sussex

Don’t worry people - if you’re not getting much interaction on here, it’s because you’re one of the above.

I worded that badly.

I think most people can see that you're very inclusive on the forums though. "

I try to be but that was more me trying to point out that if someone comes on and doesn't understand how things work round here they're more likely to be ignored or flamed than taken under someone's wing and given a few pointers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lder.Woman
43 weeks ago

Not Local

I think they are possibly a little less chatty. Replies can be placed in isolation and then not returned to, even if replied to by another, which I think I am guilty of doing too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"If you come to try to fit in the clique you’ll find your experience disappointing. If you come to have a laugh, and entertain yourself you’ll find your experience more enjoyable.

Fuck the clique! Enjoy yourself. "

This!

Miss S x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
43 weeks ago

South Wales

There are so many posters who are not part of “the clique” though. Who often fly under the radar because folk are too busy bemoaning the clique.

Focus on the many and not just the few - you’ll have a better experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
43 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Hello and it's nice to have friends here. Posts from friends do stand out more than those of someone you're unfamiliar with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealMissShadyWoman
43 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"What’s peoples views on whether they find the forums inclusive to all or even most?

I spend, probably too much time, reading forum posts, commenting on some, I see many valid and good points made in threads that are ignored by what I would say are the newer members of the forums.

Do you have to earn your forum spurs or badge before people will engage with you.

I totally accept there are friendships of many people here but sometimes it goes beyond that

You certainly aren't the first to mention this and from the outside looking in there are definitely groups offsite which crossover here, it's pretty apparent when you observe dynamics. It's no wonder people see cliques, again you are not the first to notice it, it's been an age old thing since long before time

Newbies do get shot down quite a lot and no, in truth I don't think it is as friendly to some as others claim it to be because everyone's experiences differ

As for me I could not give a flying shite what people think of me, I will add something to a thread if I can. If people respond great, if not then it's no bother. Fab is after all a pastime not a lifestyle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread