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But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
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"Gosh that's quite a question. I'm going to have to go analyse the shit out of a few things to be able to answer that. I had a very restricted childhood/teens so my exposure to men was very limited and often said to be bad and strictly avoided. So I'm wondering where my type actually comes from. I might comeback to this. That's food for thought for the day. " Maybe it isn’t childhood of adolescence at all… could be from whenever you got out into the culture at large. Possibly. I don’t know… I just wonder, because who I find most sexually attractive / visually appealing is so oddly specific. Well, for men, anyway. | |||
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"No but it did mold how i think about things in winning or losing terms and i think is kind of why i dont take losing very well " Your culture? That’s interesting - can you elaborate on this? What about your culture made you feel competitive? And do you mean sexually? Like competing with other men? Or just in general? | |||
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"No but it did mold how i think about things in winning or losing terms and i think is kind of why i dont take losing very well Your culture? That’s interesting - can you elaborate on this? What about your culture made you feel competitive? And do you mean sexually? Like competing with other men? Or just in general?" sporting culture i compete at everything and sometimes it drives me nuts  | |||
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"Influence who you are attracted to? I was a young adolescent in the American late 80s / early 90s. Hair metal magazines were everywhere. I like my man to look like a starving coyote. With serpentine eyes. Like he’s been doing questionable things all night in Mötley Crüe’s apartment off Sunset.
But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
"but do they love a bad boy they love the image but can they live with the reality not many can, image say tatts, beard, washboard stomach gets the woman but what happened to all the other values that used to keep a woman, ok looks play a part but surely personality and adventurous, security, reliability, worldly wise, intrepid traveller, lovability etc are far more important. Sex is part of life but not the be all and end all interesting people rule in my book | |||
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"Influence who you are attracted to? I was a young adolescent in the American late 80s / early 90s. Hair metal magazines were everywhere. I like my man to look like a starving coyote. With serpentine eyes. Like he’s been doing questionable things all night in Mötley Crüe’s apartment off Sunset.
But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
but do they love a bad boy they love the image but can they live with the reality not many can, image say tatts, beard, washboard stomach gets the woman but what happened to all the other values that used to keep a woman, ok looks play a part but surely personality and adventurous, security, reliability, worldly wise, intrepid traveller, lovability etc are far more important. Sex is part of life but not the be all and end all interesting people rule in my book "Why can’t we have both? (Also, I’m not a fan of beards. Everything else you described though…  ) | |||
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"Influence who you are attracted to? I was a young adolescent in the American late 80s / early 90s. Hair metal magazines were everywhere. I like my man to look like a starving coyote. With serpentine eyes. Like he’s been doing questionable things all night in Mötley Crüe’s apartment off Sunset.
But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
but do they love a bad boy they love the image but can they live with the reality not many can, image say tatts, beard, washboard stomach gets the woman but what happened to all the other values that used to keep a woman, ok looks play a part but surely personality and adventurous, security, reliability, worldly wise, intrepid traveller, lovability etc are far more important. Sex is part of life but not the be all and end all interesting people rule in my book
Why can’t we have both?
(Also, I’m not a fan of beards. Everything else you described though… )"lol you would be...... Why not abeard tickling yer fancy | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious" mmhm | |||
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"Yes. I think growing up in a diverse area, consuming the Black American and Black British cultures that I did massively impacted me finding certain things attractive and desirable. Especially personality and other qualities. Why I value strong and independent women for example maybe. I think also the generation is a factor too. I’m consuming a different version I’d these cultures to my parents and to my 15 year old brother (though he and I are both gen Zers). I think it helped me be able to see the beauty in different people as well from different backgrounds too. " Yes, I think generation is definitely a factor too. | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious" Well tastes have to come from somewhere… | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious Well tastes have to come from somewhere… " You’re telling me | |||
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"Influence who you are attracted to? I was a young adolescent in the American late 80s / early 90s. Hair metal magazines were everywhere. I like my man to look like a starving coyote. With serpentine eyes. Like he’s been doing questionable things all night in Mötley Crüe’s apartment off Sunset.
But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
but do they love a bad boy they love the image but can they live with the reality not many can, image say tatts, beard, washboard stomach gets the woman but what happened to all the other values that used to keep a woman, ok looks play a part but surely personality and adventurous, security, reliability, worldly wise, intrepid traveller, lovability etc are far more important. Sex is part of life but not the be all and end all interesting people rule in my book
Why can’t we have both?
(Also, I’m not a fan of beards. Everything else you described though… )lol you would be...... Why not abeard tickling yer fancy "I like to see his jawline and the shape of his face… I like his lips unencumbered. Those cum gutters tho. A good set of those makes me want to suck his cock all day and night. | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm" You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. " Preferences are hard to talk about for some people though. For instance what if the preference is rooted in something that hurt them? Like somebody who never gets over their first love, and is only ever attracted to people who look like their first love. That’s a thing that happens. | |||
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"Influence who you are attracted to? I was a young adolescent in the American late 80s / early 90s. Hair metal magazines were everywhere. I like my man to look like a starving coyote. With serpentine eyes. Like he’s been doing questionable things all night in Mötley Crüe’s apartment off Sunset.
But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
"I grew up in a tough area no grass so you played football in the streets up against the walls of houses on the corner,broken glass cemented in top of walls, stabbings common place, old guys influencing kids and showing porn to teenagers etc but i had a strong moral ethic even then not sure where i got that from my dad i guess but James Dean tough i don't think so he was an actor so he played tough parts until his demise  | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. Preferences are hard to talk about for some people though. For instance what if the preference is rooted in something that hurt them? Like somebody who never gets over their first love, and is only ever attracted to people who look like their first love. That’s a thing that happens." Oh yes i get you, yes it can shape your future, every guy has to suffer because of one  | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. " Pearls before swine, man. | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. Preferences are hard to talk about for some people though. For instance what if the preference is rooted in something that hurt them? Like somebody who never gets over their first love, and is only ever attracted to people who look like their first love. That’s a thing that happens." I hear you but the times it’s come up it’s almost never this | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby)" Aussie rules? | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) Aussie rules? " Aussie rules, union or league. The term refers to all three. (More clarifying for those who assume I mean what my dialect sometimes calls English football but usually calls the forbidden s word) | |||
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"Gosh that's quite a question. I'm going to have to go analyse the shit out of a few things to be able to answer that. I had a very restricted childhood/teens so my exposure to men was very limited and often said to be bad and strictly avoided. So I'm wondering where my type actually comes from. I might comeback to this. That's food for thought for the day. Maybe it isn’t childhood of adolescence at all… could be from whenever you got out into the culture at large. Possibly. I don’t know… I just wonder, because who I find most sexually attractive / visually appealing is so oddly specific. Well, for men, anyway. " I think this may take me all day to process
My childhood featured men in suits a lot giving talks, but aside from that I wasn't allowed to watch most TV programmes or follow bands so I was a teen that had posters in my wall.
I guess influences from school friends would have been the biggest thing but I don't really recall it.
Maybe I like confident men that are talkative based on the men in suits part.
The next phase in my life consists of a circle of people where prison featured and so did substances. So that turns it on it's head somewhat.
Sidenote
I wonder if catalogues feature in a few people with their body tastes?
Our bands were diverse in looks too. | |||
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"Influence who you are attracted to? I was a young adolescent in the American late 80s / early 90s. Hair metal magazines were everywhere. I like my man to look like a starving coyote. With serpentine eyes. Like he’s been doing questionable things all night in Mötley Crüe’s apartment off Sunset.
But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
I grew up in a tough area no grass so you played football in the streets up against the walls of houses on the corner,broken glass cemented in top of walls, stabbings common place, old guys influencing kids and showing porn to teenagers etc but i had a strong moral ethic even then not sure where i got that from my dad i guess but James Dean tough i don't think so he was an actor so he played tough parts until his demise "That sounds chaotic. You don’t think anything about an environment like that might have influenced your taste in women? | |||
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"Gosh that's quite a question. I'm going to have to go analyse the shit out of a few things to be able to answer that. I had a very restricted childhood/teens so my exposure to men was very limited and often said to be bad and strictly avoided. So I'm wondering where my type actually comes from. I might comeback to this. That's food for thought for the day. Maybe it isn’t childhood of adolescence at all… could be from whenever you got out into the culture at large. Possibly. I don’t know… I just wonder, because who I find most sexually attractive / visually appealing is so oddly specific. Well, for men, anyway. I think this may take me all day to process
My childhood featured men in suits a lot giving talks, but aside from that I wasn't allowed to watch most TV programmes or follow bands so I was a teen that had posters in my wall.
I guess influences from school friends would have been the biggest thing but I don't really recall it.
Maybe I like confident men that are talkative based on the men in suits part.
The next phase in my life consists of a circle of people where prison featured and so did substances. So that turns it on it's head somewhat.
Sidenote
I wonder if catalogues feature in a few people with their body tastes?
Our bands were diverse in looks too. ". *Wasn't a teen with posters | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. Preferences are hard to talk about for some people though. For instance what if the preference is rooted in something that hurt them? Like somebody who never gets over their first love, and is only ever attracted to people who look like their first love. That’s a thing that happens.Oh yes i get you, yes it can shape your future, every guy has to suffer because of one "I didn’t say it happened to me
I didn’t have my first love till I was 27… and actually he looked a bit like James Dean (but my guy was straight). | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. Pearls before swine, man." Maybe it’s the neurospice but I’ve never understood what that phrase means. | |||
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"My childhood wasn't very diverse, and I came free from a poor, uneducated background - we were more or less feral, roaming the streets and disappearing for hours across farmers fields It made my very independent and in control of my emotions... It also made me work hard to expand my horizons and be a different person Interestingly the posters on my bedroom wall were all of pop stars - who mostly turned out to be gay guys... Wonder what that says "No kidding? Can I ask, which pop stars? | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. Pearls before swine, man. Maybe it’s the neurospice but I’ve never understood what that phrase means." It's a Bible reference. In common parlance it means, putting something valuable in front of an audience who won't appreciate it. (In this instance, I don't think this level of introspection and cultural awareness is appreciated by the majority of people who use the forums, and indeed the prevailing culture tends to resist such things with thought stopping phrases like "preference") | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby)" So like… super masculine, dirt underneath his fingernails? | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) Aussie rules? Aussie rules, union or league. The term refers to all three. (More clarifying for those who assume I mean what my dialect sometimes calls English football but usually calls the forbidden s word)" Lol! Why do people hate on the s word so much? | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) So like… super masculine, dirt underneath his fingernails?" Yeah. Disdains education and communication, honest hardworking etc. Something like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-IPcVaif3Q | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) Aussie rules? Aussie rules, union or league. The term refers to all three. (More clarifying for those who assume I mean what my dialect sometimes calls English football but usually calls the forbidden s word) Lol! Why do people hate on the s word so much? "I'm told - in my clearly not American accent - that I'm coming over here and destroying this country's language with Americanisms | |||
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"Gosh that's quite a question. I'm going to have to go analyse the shit out of a few things to be able to answer that. I had a very restricted childhood/teens so my exposure to men was very limited and often said to be bad and strictly avoided. So I'm wondering where my type actually comes from. I might comeback to this. That's food for thought for the day. Maybe it isn’t childhood of adolescence at all… could be from whenever you got out into the culture at large. Possibly. I don’t know… I just wonder, because who I find most sexually attractive / visually appealing is so oddly specific. Well, for men, anyway. I think this may take me all day to process
My childhood featured men in suits a lot giving talks, but aside from that I wasn't allowed to watch most TV programmes or follow bands so I was a teen that had posters in my wall.
I guess influences from school friends would have been the biggest thing but I don't really recall it.
Maybe I like confident men that are talkative based on the men in suits part.
The next phase in my life consists of a circle of people where prison featured and so did substances. So that turns it on it's head somewhat.
Sidenote
I wonder if catalogues feature in a few people with their body tastes?
Our bands were diverse in looks too. "Your childhood featured Men in Black, didn’t it 
What sort of catalogues? (Sorry if I’m being dense, I didn’t really get enough sleep)
And which bands?
Okay real talk - were any of the prisoners hot? How about the guards?
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"My parents traveled a lot with work when I was a kid and I grew up all over the world. I went out with girls from lots of different places and as a result I find people of all cultures attractive in different ways. " That’s cool! I’d have loved to grow up that way. | |||
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"To this day I've always found like original punk and skinhead fashion girls super attractive , but that's coz I grew up in that scene I spose " I love them too quelle surprise, right? | |||
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"Not physically, but I'm not attracted to the cockney geezer types I grew up around. I grew up with mods, rockers, punks, new romantics, jazz funkers and neon leg warmer types. I'm not easily influenced. " Oh, I can absolutely relate to the not being attracted to the kinds of men you grow up around. I can’t go near anything that even slightly reminds me of my father, or my my brother. Or anyone they were friends with. | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. Pearls before swine, man. Maybe it’s the neurospice but I’ve never understood what that phrase means. It's a Bible reference. In common parlance it means, putting something valuable in front of an audience who won't appreciate it. (In this instance, I don't think this level of introspection and cultural awareness is appreciated by the majority of people who use the forums, and indeed the prevailing culture tends to resist such things with thought stopping phrases like "preference")" Ohhhh okay. I can’t imagine not even thinking about it. For example, I’ve got to put my hand up to the fact that a lot of my taste in women - when I was younger especially - was /heavily/ influenced by the male gaze. Both from media, and from listening to the guys I considered to be my friends talking about which girls they thought were hot and why. What’s interesting for me is that adolescence was a very long time ago... and I don’t believe I’m easily influenced now at all. But the tastes that became infused in my brain when I was… younger and heavily susceptible… they feel, to a certain point, immutable. | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) So like… super masculine, dirt underneath his fingernails? Yeah. Disdains education and communication, honest hardworking etc. Something like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-IPcVaif3Q" Like our American “good ol’ boys” - a bit. Lmao @ knockers… this is brilliant. | |||
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"Not physically, but I'm not attracted to the cockney geezer types I grew up around. I grew up with mods, rockers, punks, new romantics, jazz funkers and neon leg warmer types. I'm not easily influenced. Oh, I can absolutely relate to the not being attracted to the kinds of men you grow up around. I can’t go near anything that even slightly reminds me of my father, or my my brother. Or anyone they were friends with." My dad and brother weren't the cockney geezer types. Although my parents were both from East London they weren't the Cockney type. I really don't feel comfortable around laddish behaviour. | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) Aussie rules? Aussie rules, union or league. The term refers to all three. (More clarifying for those who assume I mean what my dialect sometimes calls English football but usually calls the forbidden s word) Lol! Why do people hate on the s word so much?
I'm told - in my clearly not American accent - that I'm coming over here and destroying this country's language with Americanisms"That’s a hell of a rich accusation. I’ve been told I’m responsible for litigious culture creeping over here because Americans sue each other a lot… which is also funny to me, because Britain is the libel capital of the world. But that’s a different thread, I think | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. Pearls before swine, man. Maybe it’s the neurospice but I’ve never understood what that phrase means. It's a Bible reference. In common parlance it means, putting something valuable in front of an audience who won't appreciate it. (In this instance, I don't think this level of introspection and cultural awareness is appreciated by the majority of people who use the forums, and indeed the prevailing culture tends to resist such things with thought stopping phrases like "preference") Ohhhh okay. I can’t imagine not even thinking about it. For example, I’ve got to put my hand up to the fact that a lot of my taste in women - when I was younger especially - was /heavily/ influenced by the male gaze. Both from media, and from listening to the guys I considered to be my friends talking about which girls they thought were hot and why. What’s interesting for me is that adolescence was a very long time ago... and I don’t believe I’m easily influenced now at all. But the tastes that became infused in my brain when I was… younger and heavily susceptible… they feel, to a certain point, immutable. " I think the introspection - for me - is a product of my neurospice. I think for people who are more... neurovanilla? - their brains don't wrap around it so easily and perhaps there's resentment being made to think about it. | |||
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"Yeah I grew up very much in a sporting culture. I played sports at a high level and the young men I spent time then with certainly have influenced my adult tastes in men." In looks, attire, mannerisms? All of the above? | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) So like… super masculine, dirt underneath his fingernails? Yeah. Disdains education and communication, honest hardworking etc. Something like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-IPcVaif3Q Like our American “good ol’ boys” - a bit. Lmao @ knockers… this is brilliant. " The word in Australia is "bogan" - rhyming with Joe Rogan. I usually explain it as something like a chav or a redneck. And I've always found it repellent. | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) Aussie rules? Aussie rules, union or league. The term refers to all three. (More clarifying for those who assume I mean what my dialect sometimes calls English football but usually calls the forbidden s word) Lol! Why do people hate on the s word so much?
I'm told - in my clearly not American accent - that I'm coming over here and destroying this country's language with Americanisms
That’s a hell of a rich accusation.
I’ve been told I’m responsible for litigious culture creeping over here because Americans sue each other a lot… which is also funny to me, because Britain is the libel capital of the world.
But that’s a different thread, I think "Oh definitely. I was once screamed at in Tesco because I asked my ex to get some zucchini. Coming over here, destroying their language with my Americanisms. I'm so sorry my country got the vegetable from the Italians. Calm the fuck down. | |||
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"Yes I think it did to some degree. Growing up in the 80s I saw that everything and everyone was open to new things, new ideas. Not all of them were popular but that didn’t matter. It meant that life was full of endless possibility. And that’s how I live now "I feel like there was a lot of crossover between Britain and America - at least with music - in the 70s and 80s. Maybe more so than now. Although being an Old… I’m not particularly clued up about what kids today like… all I know is they can get off my lawn. | |||
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"Not physically, but I'm not attracted to the cockney geezer types I grew up around. I grew up with mods, rockers, punks, new romantics, jazz funkers and neon leg warmer types. I'm not easily influenced. Oh, I can absolutely relate to the not being attracted to the kinds of men you grow up around. I can’t go near anything that even slightly reminds me of my father, or my my brother. Or anyone they were friends with. My dad and brother weren't the cockney geezer types. Although my parents were both from East London they weren't the Cockney type. I really don't feel comfortable around laddish behaviour. " Nor do I. I also don’t think we’re supposed to feel comfortable around it. | |||
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"Side note- everyone in fab says that their tastes aren’t influenced by anything else and I just find that hilarious. Honestly hilarious mmhm You already know the vibes. It’s just preference. Doesn’t come from anything. Just preference. Pearls before swine, man. Maybe it’s the neurospice but I’ve never understood what that phrase means. It's a Bible reference. In common parlance it means, putting something valuable in front of an audience who won't appreciate it. (In this instance, I don't think this level of introspection and cultural awareness is appreciated by the majority of people who use the forums, and indeed the prevailing culture tends to resist such things with thought stopping phrases like "preference") Ohhhh okay. I can’t imagine not even thinking about it. For example, I’ve got to put my hand up to the fact that a lot of my taste in women - when I was younger especially - was /heavily/ influenced by the male gaze. Both from media, and from listening to the guys I considered to be my friends talking about which girls they thought were hot and why. What’s interesting for me is that adolescence was a very long time ago... and I don’t believe I’m easily influenced now at all. But the tastes that became infused in my brain when I was… younger and heavily susceptible… they feel, to a certain point, immutable. I think the introspection - for me - is a product of my neurospice. I think for people who are more... neurovanilla? - their brains don't wrap around it so easily and perhaps there's resentment being made to think about it." Neurovanilla I may have to yoink that off you.
My Gay Best Friend from back home calls it “neuroboring” | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) So like… super masculine, dirt underneath his fingernails? Yeah. Disdains education and communication, honest hardworking etc. Something like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-IPcVaif3Q Like our American “good ol’ boys” - a bit. Lmao @ knockers… this is brilliant. The word in Australia is "bogan" - rhyming with Joe Rogan. I usually explain it as something like a chav or a redneck. And I've always found it repellent. " So you won’t be attending the tractor pull? | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) Aussie rules? Aussie rules, union or league. The term refers to all three. (More clarifying for those who assume I mean what my dialect sometimes calls English football but usually calls the forbidden s word) Lol! Why do people hate on the s word so much?
I'm told - in my clearly not American accent - that I'm coming over here and destroying this country's language with Americanisms
That’s a hell of a rich accusation.
I’ve been told I’m responsible for litigious culture creeping over here because Americans sue each other a lot… which is also funny to me, because Britain is the libel capital of the world.
But that’s a different thread, I think
Oh definitely.
I was once screamed at in Tesco because I asked my ex to get some zucchini. Coming over here, destroying their language with my Americanisms.
I'm so sorry my country got the vegetable from the Italians. Calm the fuck down."By a stranger? Or the ex? | |||
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"Yeah I grew up very much in a sporting culture. I played sports at a high level and the young men I spent time then with certainly have influenced my adult tastes in men. In looks, attire, mannerisms? All of the above?" All of the above! Tall, muscular, athletic, preppy/chavvy clothes (think Ralph Lauren with popped collars), competitive, that kind of thing. | |||
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"Faith, Interesting topic. So I come from a perspective of twenty years prior to you. The late sixties was a time of incredible optimism and hope. Men had just landed on the moon, Concorde had majestically made its first flight, oil had just been discovered in the North Sea and Dixon of Dock Green represented the greater sense of community. Then the 1970s came along and everything imploded. Principally driven by the global blowback from the US defeat in Vietnam, Watergate, the oil shocks and the trade unions running wild. Leading the country to go broke and need a loan from the IMF. I haven’t mentioned all the terrorism. By the time the eighties came around the optimism had been replaced by a more boys from the blackstuff and alternative comedy attitude. So I suppose my influences look back to the good times of the swinging sixties: Jackie Kennedy, Rachel Welch, Lady Penelope and not forgetting the purple haired girls from UFO! " Do you still look for features that remind you of your tastes from back then? This is fascinating stuff for me btw. I’m really digging your big picture awareness of what the roots were for these cultural paradigm shifts. Do you think that many of us on some level look back to a time when we were young and bright eyed, and the world was full of possibilities for us? No matter when we grew up? | |||
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"Yeah I grew up very much in a sporting culture. I played sports at a high level and the young men I spent time then with certainly have influenced my adult tastes in men. In looks, attire, mannerisms? All of the above? All of the above! Tall, muscular, athletic, preppy/chavvy clothes (think Ralph Lauren with popped collars), competitive, that kind of thing." Yep. I defintely have an image in my head. | |||
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"Faith, Interesting topic. So I come from a perspective of twenty years prior to you. The late sixties was a time of incredible optimism and hope. Men had just landed on the moon, Concorde had majestically made its first flight, oil had just been discovered in the North Sea and Dixon of Dock Green represented the greater sense of community. Then the 1970s came along and everything imploded. Principally driven by the global blowback from the US defeat in Vietnam, Watergate, the oil shocks and the trade unions running wild. Leading the country to go broke and need a loan from the IMF. I haven’t mentioned all the terrorism. By the time the eighties came around the optimism had been replaced by a more boys from the blackstuff and alternative comedy attitude. So I suppose my influences look back to the good times of the swinging sixties: Jackie Kennedy, Rachel Welch, Lady Penelope and not forgetting the purple haired girls from UFO!" • A beautiful retrospective, Mr Fox. Let's not forget the equally beautiful Gabrielle Drake from UFO, sibling to the late, wonderful and introverted Nick Drake whose folksy music inspired a tiny generation who knew him. And sadly only a few knew his music.  | |||
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"I grew up travelling the world from a very early age. I lived in six countries before age 15. My parents had friends and acquaintances from all walks of life from professionals to illiterate individuals. I was exposed to all sorts of people and children. It was extremely diverse in a multitude of ways- socioeconomic, race, language, education, etc. This has influenced who I am attracted to in men anyways. I’ve never been into the “bad boy” type. I dislike beards but one of my partner’s now has a beard, and for the first time ever in my life, that doesn’t bother me about him. However, a bearded random guy doesn’t appeal to me. But my bearded partner is hot AF in my eyes. The one commonality amongst men I’ve been with has been broad-mindedness, mot conform to societal norms, and someone who views the world from a broad/international perspective — usually an immigrant but not always. Definitely someone who hasn’t lived in the same area their entire life (but then there’s one outlier in this). Physically, my idea of attractiveness is heavily influenced by what I saw growing up. From my very first boyfriend as a teen to now, every man I’ve been with has physically had the same attributes consistently. I often ponder where I developed my type in women from but that’s another story. " Sounds like you have lived an extraordinary life. That’s very cool! I wasn’t lucky enough to have parents with this kind of social interest. But I did meet a lot of cultured international men while I was stripping in the late 1990s. The club that I worked in was a dive. And it was right near the UN building. So we had a different kind of clientele than when I worked on Times Square. A more intelligent clientele. I was grateful for the opportunity to meet these men. And for the conversations that we would have. They were my window to the world before I could afford to be international myself. But they were customers, so I mostly wasn’t attracted to them. For many years, I also noticed that the guys that I wanted to be friends with - the guys whom I actually enjoyed mentally - did nothing at all for me physically. My animal self has not usually been in synch with my “rational” self. | |||
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"Probably... Growing up in the early 80s to mid 90s, boy bands, classic movie stars, clean cut American actors. I didn't have any black/other ethnicity friends until I went to secondary school and then later on from clubbing. I still go for the "tall dark and handsome" type over anything else. " How old do you think you were when the bulk of your tastes were formed? For me it would have been early - like just crossing puberty. After that there were sometimes deviations, but the framework was all there by my early to mid teens. | |||
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"Influence who you are attracted to? I was a young adolescent in the American late 80s / early 90s. Hair metal magazines were everywhere. I like my man to look like a starving coyote. With serpentine eyes. Like he’s been doing questionable things all night in Mötley Crüe’s apartment off Sunset.
But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
"I'm not sure it influenced the type of person I'm attracted to. It has certainly influenced lots of things I enjoy sexually and my fetishes the way I was brought up. | |||
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"I don't think the culture/area/environment I grew up in (London, multicultural) has influenced who I'm attracted to but I think it's made me more open minded and attracted to a broader spectrum " By virtue of exposure? | |||
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"I grew up in one if the most liberal parts of South Africa at the height of Apartheid. I could write an essay about the competing cultural influences of liberal politics, British music, entrenched racism and deeply conservative Afrikaner morality that suffused my formative years. Has it influenced who I'm attracted to? Has it, hell, and with knobs on!" I would be glued to that essay if you ever did write it. | |||
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"I don't think the culture/area/environment I grew up in (London, multicultural) has influenced who I'm attracted to but I think it's made me more open minded and attracted to a broader spectrum By virtue of exposure?" Yeah, possibly normalisation by way of exposure/interaction. | |||
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"Faith, Interesting topic. So I come from a perspective of twenty years prior to you. The late sixties was a time of incredible optimism and hope. Men had just landed on the moon, Concorde had majestically made its first flight, oil had just been discovered in the North Sea and Dixon of Dock Green represented the greater sense of community. Then the 1970s came along and everything imploded. Principally driven by the global blowback from the US defeat in Vietnam, Watergate, the oil shocks and the trade unions running wild. Leading the country to go broke and need a loan from the IMF. I haven’t mentioned all the terrorism. By the time the eighties came around the optimism had been replaced by a more boys from the blackstuff and alternative comedy attitude. So I suppose my influences look back to the good times of the swinging sixties: Jackie Kennedy, Rachel Welch, Lady Penelope and not forgetting the purple haired girls from UFO! • A beautiful retrospective, Mr Fox. Let's not forget the equally beautiful Gabrielle Drake from UFO, sibling to the late, wonderful and introverted Nick Drake whose folksy music inspired a tiny generation who knew him. And sadly only a few knew his music. "I would have pegged you for liking the Gibson Girl aesthetic based on the time you were an adolescent… (j/k, of course, we are the same age) | |||
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"Who knows... I don't have a type, blonde, brunette, black, red, mousey, tall, short, big or slim, I suppose the only real preference I have outside of personality is they take decent care of their appearance. I've been out with people who're into all kinds of music, wear all kinds of clothes, into all kinds of politics, from all kinds of backgrounds. Is that a refection of my cultural surroundings or social upbringing - probably the latter." Self respect is very, very sexy. | |||
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"I like pale woman because everyone else around me was brown and they were forbidden fruit." Ah yes, forbidden fruit. I think there’s an aspect of that in my tastes. My parents and their friends would have said I was slumming (spoiler alert: they’re not as open-minded as I am about anything) | |||
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"Influence who you are attracted to? I was a young adolescent in the American late 80s / early 90s. Hair metal magazines were everywhere. I like my man to look like a starving coyote. With serpentine eyes. Like he’s been doing questionable things all night in Mötley Crüe’s apartment off Sunset.
But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
I'm not sure it influenced the type of person I'm attracted to.
It has certainly influenced lots of things I enjoy sexually and my fetishes the way I was brought up. "Well that’s certainly got me curious… but I assume if you wanted us to know more, you would’ve said more | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) Aussie rules? Aussie rules, union or league. The term refers to all three. (More clarifying for those who assume I mean what my dialect sometimes calls English football but usually calls the forbidden s word) Lol! Why do people hate on the s word so much?
I'm told - in my clearly not American accent - that I'm coming over here and destroying this country's language with Americanisms
That’s a hell of a rich accusation.
I’ve been told I’m responsible for litigious culture creeping over here because Americans sue each other a lot… which is also funny to me, because Britain is the libel capital of the world.
But that’s a different thread, I think
Oh definitely.
I was once screamed at in Tesco because I asked my ex to get some zucchini. Coming over here, destroying their language with my Americanisms.
I'm so sorry my country got the vegetable from the Italians. Calm the fuck down.
By a stranger? Or the ex?"Stranger who overheard us. Ex used/ uses almost as many Australianisms as I do (he's British, but he picked them up from me) | |||
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"Probably not the culture in regards to where and when I grew up (working class Manchester in the 80s) but the subculture I fell in certainly has. I was an Indie kid from '86 and I still find elements of that look and sensibility really attractive. Docs, jeans or black tights and a little dress. Looking out under a fringe, shy smiles, a love of music..." I would say that absolutely counts. It’s a look I like too | |||
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"I think I'm repelled by a lot of the cultural icons from my youth - my archetype is very much a working class man's man, the type that found "metrosexual" men who used ... dee-oh-dar-ant? - a bit confronting and possibly a bit (slur), who should toughen up by playing a bit more footy and getting knocked round the head. (Keeping in mind, in my dialect, "footy" is some sort of rugby) Aussie rules? Aussie rules, union or league. The term refers to all three. (More clarifying for those who assume I mean what my dialect sometimes calls English football but usually calls the forbidden s word) Lol! Why do people hate on the s word so much?
I'm told - in my clearly not American accent - that I'm coming over here and destroying this country's language with Americanisms
That’s a hell of a rich accusation.
I’ve been told I’m responsible for litigious culture creeping over here because Americans sue each other a lot… which is also funny to me, because Britain is the libel capital of the world.
But that’s a different thread, I think
Oh definitely.
I was once screamed at in Tesco because I asked my ex to get some zucchini. Coming over here, destroying their language with my Americanisms.
I'm so sorry my country got the vegetable from the Italians. Calm the fuck down.
By a stranger? Or the ex?
Stranger who overheard us.
Ex used/ uses almost as many Australianisms as I do (he's British, but he picked them up from me)"Why do strangers feel entitled to butt into a conversation like that? I hope you gave says stranger 13 shades of hell. And that’s /also/ a different thread… | |||
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"Influence who you are attracted to? I was a young adolescent in the American late 80s / early 90s. Hair metal magazines were everywhere. I like my man to look like a starving coyote. With serpentine eyes. Like he’s been doing questionable things all night in Mötley Crüe’s apartment off Sunset.
But I think even before that… there’s this image that’s baked into American culture. The greasers in The Outsiders. James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (arguably the source of this archetype - tough guy who is deep down wounded and misunderstood…) it’s why so many people say “all girls love a bad boy.”
Are there similar icons in your home culture from your childhood or adolescence, or even before… do you think they influence your taste im who you want to get down with?
How much of what we like can be traced somehow to the cultures we grew up in?
I grew up in a tough area no grass so you played football in the streets up against the walls of houses on the corner,broken glass cemented in top of walls, stabbings common place, old guys influencing kids and showing porn to teenagers etc but i had a strong moral ethic even then not sure where i got that from my dad i guess but James Dean tough i don't think so he was an actor so he played tough parts until his demise
That sounds chaotic. You don’t think anything about an environment like that might have influenced your taste in women?"no i don't think it influenced anything other than to know what i didn't want for myself and my children and i successfully achieved it | |||
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" … So I suppose my influences look back to the good times of the swinging sixties: Jackie Kennedy, Rachel Welch, Lady Penelope and not forgetting the purple haired girls from UFO! • A beautiful retrospective, Mr Fox. Let's not forget the equally beautiful Gabrielle Drake from UFO, sibling to the late, wonderful and introverted Nick Drake whose folksy music inspired a tiny generation who knew him. And sadly only a few knew his music. "Of course, GD wore a purple wig too! And not forgetting Ayesha in her cat suit and the lady in the submarine with the string body suit  .
Separately, I unconscionably missed Emma Peel from the Avengers. Did you know her name is a play on ‘M appeal’ or Men appeal. 
Didn’t know about Nick, the wonder of Fab something new and unusually interesting. | |||
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"I do tend to go goth-blind as I come of age in the alternative music scene in the late 80s early 90s. Alternating between raves and festivals, the sisters of mercy brigade were always so alluring but unreachable. Now I find them the most interesting of all the people I meet, yet still unreachable " Ohhhh I love Sisters of Mercy. Just as an aside | |||
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"Faith, Interesting topic. So I come from a perspective of twenty years prior to you. The late sixties was a time of incredible optimism … Do you still look for features that remind you of your tastes from back then? This is fascinating stuff for me btw. I’m really digging your big picture awareness of what the roots were for these cultural paradigm shifts. Do you think that many of us on some level look back to a time when we were young and bright eyed, and the world was full of possibilities for us? No matter when we grew up? " Not sure about my tastes then, but I do think we have lost some of the glamour and style of that period. If you are interested in how events shape history and you still do books, here are two: The Prize by Daniel Yergin which tracks the development and influence of the Oil industry ; and GCHQ by Richard Aldrich which tracks how intelligence influence world events. How we look back depends on the particular time and your experience. Happy times certainly. Hard times I suspect less so. Just following this thread I can see how you have been shaped by your experiences. | |||
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"Gosh that's quite a question. I'm going to have to go analyse the shit out of a few things to be able to answer that. I had a very restricted childhood/teens so my exposure to men was very limited and often said to be bad and strictly avoided. So I'm wondering where my type actually comes from. I might comeback to this. That's food for thought for the day. Maybe it isn’t childhood of adolescence at all… could be from whenever you got out into the culture at large. Possibly. I don’t know… I just wonder, because who I find most sexually attractive / visually appealing is so oddly specific. Well, for men, anyway. I think this may take me all day to process
My childhood featured men in suits a lot giving talks, but aside from that I wasn't allowed to watch most TV programmes or follow bands so I was a teen that had posters in my wall.
I guess influences from school friends would have been the biggest thing but I don't really recall it.
Maybe I like confident men that are talkative based on the men in suits part.
The next phase in my life consists of a circle of people where prison featured and so did substances. So that turns it on it's head somewhat.
Sidenote
I wonder if catalogues feature in a few people with their body tastes?
Our bands were diverse in looks too.
Your childhood featured Men in Black, didn’t it
What sort of catalogues? (Sorry if I’m being dense, I didn’t really get enough sleep)
And which bands?
Okay real talk - were any of the prisoners hot? How about the guards?
"Hah I meant those people went to prison and I didn't visit them to know I'd the guards were hot.
Catalogues. Like Littlewoods and Freeman's. | |||
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"I do tend to go goth-blind as I come of age in the alternative music scene in the late 80s early 90s. Alternating between raves and festivals, the sisters of mercy brigade were always so alluring but unreachable. Now I find them the most interesting of all the people I meet, yet still unreachable Ohhhh I love Sisters of Mercy. Just as an aside " | |||
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"It's very difficult to deconstruct personal attraction because it's a composite of different influences and some of them will certainly be cultural. In terms of faces and body types that I like, I don't think these are culturally determined. However, from a presentational angle, there is definitely a particular look that I like, which probably dates back to the late 90s, early 00s: low-slung hipster jeans, tight cropped top, long straightish hair and no (or few) tattoos. It's mostly nostalgia though as I can't claim to meet (or even see) many women dressing like that these days. Mercifully, though, I think the waistband of jeans might be creeping down again. The recent fashion for high-waisted jeans has been torture!" I hate high waisted jeans too. Even though they are meant to be more forgiving… they just feel so conservative. And I love a good midriff outfit | |||
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"I think the evidence would suggest it must. I mean I can't imagine Harry Styles being a sex symbol in the 1970s. Nor can I imagine Tom Jones being one in the 2000s (age equalised)" And when you put it that way, neither can I. | |||
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"Faith, Interesting topic. So I come from a perspective of twenty years prior to you. The late sixties was a time of incredible optimism … Do you still look for features that remind you of your tastes from back then? This is fascinating stuff for me btw. I’m really digging your big picture awareness of what the roots were for these cultural paradigm shifts. Do you think that many of us on some level look back to a time when we were young and bright eyed, and the world was full of possibilities for us? No matter when we grew up? Not sure about my tastes then, but I do think we have lost some of the glamour and style of that period. If you are interested in how events shape history and you still do books, here are two: The Prize by Daniel Yergin which tracks the development and influence of the Oil industry ; and GCHQ by Richard Aldrich which tracks how intelligence influence world events. How we look back depends on the particular time and your experience. Happy times certainly. Hard times I suspect less so. Just following this thread I can see how you have been shaped by your experiences. " Thanks for the reading rec’s. I do read books… though with an ageing ND brain, it takes me much longer to get through them than it used to. I will definitely look into these! Concerning the 60s aesthetic. I adored the show Mad Men for a variety of reasons, but the aesthetics and fashions were definitely up there… They apparently had very few anachronisms for a period piece… at least that’s what I’ve read. Matthew Weiner instructed his regular actors to not exercise the way people do today, so that their bodies would look authentic to the time. Did you ever get into this show? | |||
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"Do you know what influences my choice in women a beautiful smile, a sense of humour, a modicum of intelligence and the desire to be in the sun "I have the desire for sunshine… can’t help you with the other items | |||
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"Do you know what influences my choice in women a beautiful smile, a sense of humour, a modicum of intelligence and the desire to be in the sun
I have the desire for sunshine… can’t help you with the other items"damn | |||
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"Due to my childhood, family upbringing and surroundings as a young child (born in 1970, living in Soho, with a 60s flower power, free love, drug taking, striptease performing mother). I was still being taught to "be different, question authority and go against the grain" as it where. Hence a lot of peoples 1st impression of me, is I am either slightly weird, eccentric or as some have said, An odd ball. This has led me to find Alternative people more attractive then what most people find attractive. It also lead to me being way too sexualized and seeing sex as the be all and end all of my life! .............. I even had a psychiatrist when I was about 9 as my teachers noticed how sexual I was at such a young age! " That’s a lot to unpack. As far as preference. When you say Alternative, do you mean just anything that goes against the grain? Or traits that are more specific? | |||
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"Due to my childhood, family upbringing and surroundings as a young child (born in 1970, living in Soho, with a 60s flower power, free love, drug taking, striptease performing mother). I was still being taught to "be different, question authority and go against the grain" as it where. Hence a lot of peoples 1st impression of me, is I am either slightly weird, eccentric or as some have said, An odd ball. This has led me to find Alternative people more attractive then what most people find attractive. It also lead to me being way too sexualized and seeing sex as the be all and end all of my life! .............. I even had a psychiatrist when I was about 9 as my teachers noticed how sexual I was at such a young age! That’s a lot to unpack. As far as preference. When you say Alternative, do you mean just anything that goes against the grain? Or traits that are more specific?" I like women and couples who stand out, usually different to the norm and in some cases, people who most wont fancy! I cannot say there is anything specific (though I often find myself dran to a persons eyes (that I have no idea why) and due to me being exposed to nudity, sex and the drink drugs n rock n roll lifestyle of my mother who (and this is very sad to be honest) dropped her knickers for anyone who showed her affection, has led me to not have a type but more fancy lots of different types! When I first found swinging and even more fetish swing lifestyle, I felt like I had finally found a place to call home! (ohh and yes, I know there is way too much to unpack, I either need deep psychiatric help, or a bullet to the head) | |||
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"In my case the culture I grew up in had zero influence thankfully. Growing up in a warzone throughout the 70s and 80s there wasn't the same access to positive cultural influences and family circumstances meant my teenage years as most people would recognise them didn't exist. I didn't have the opportunities to explore music or travel or sex at all. Culture was a bad word in Northern Ireland back them because it only ever resulted in clashes. " So do you feel there was anything that did influence your sexual tastes though? Perhaps later in life? | |||
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"In my case the culture I grew up in had zero influence thankfully. Growing up in a warzone throughout the 70s and 80s there wasn't the same access to positive cultural influences and family circumstances meant my teenage years as most people would recognise them didn't exist. I didn't have the opportunities to explore music or travel or sex at all. Culture was a bad word in Northern Ireland back them because it only ever resulted in clashes. So do you feel there was anything that did influence your sexual tastes though? Perhaps later in life? " Nothing at all that comes to mind because I wouldn't say I have sexual tastes as such. I can take or leave sex and have never at any stage needed it. I've gone 10 years at one stage with no sexual contact at all and rarely think about it when I'm not engaged in it. Just being on this site is more of a casual hobby than a lifestyle choice. | |||
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"Due to my childhood, family upbringing and surroundings as a young child (born in 1970, living in Soho, with a 60s flower power, free love, drug taking, striptease performing mother). I was still being taught to "be different, question authority and go against the grain" as it where. Hence a lot of peoples 1st impression of me, is I am either slightly weird, eccentric or as some have said, An odd ball. This has led me to find Alternative people more attractive then what most people find attractive. It also lead to me being way too sexualized and seeing sex as the be all and end all of my life! .............. I even had a psychiatrist when I was about 9 as my teachers noticed how sexual I was at such a young age! That’s a lot to unpack. As far as preference. When you say Alternative, do you mean just anything that goes against the grain? Or traits that are more specific? I like women and couples who stand out, usually different to the norm and in some cases, people who most wont fancy! I cannot say there is anything specific (though I often find myself dran to a persons eyes (that I have no idea why) and due to me being exposed to nudity, sex and the drink drugs n rock n roll lifestyle of my mother who (and this is very sad to be honest) dropped her knickers for anyone who showed her affection, has led me to not have a type but more fancy lots of different types! When I first found swinging and even more fetish swing lifestyle, I felt like I had finally found a place to call home! (ohh and yes, I know there is way too much to unpack, I either need deep psychiatric help, or a bullet to the head) " Your childhood sounds traumatic. I’m sorry you experienced those things. I hope you’ve found / are finding some sort of peace as an adult. I am aware that MANY people do find respite from really upsetting things in kink, and being able to explore kink in a safe, sane and consensual way. | |||
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"I certainly loved early 80s new romantic scene music and style . Men in satin leather make up x If I had known then how Things change , I would have experimented more x Still Listen to Duran Duran Depeche Mode etc Xx" Oh, yes, those are hot looks. | |||
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"In my case the culture I grew up in had zero influence thankfully. Growing up in a warzone throughout the 70s and 80s there wasn't the same access to positive cultural influences and family circumstances meant my teenage years as most people would recognise them didn't exist. I didn't have the opportunities to explore music or travel or sex at all. Culture was a bad word in Northern Ireland back them because it only ever resulted in clashes. So do you feel there was anything that did influence your sexual tastes though? Perhaps later in life? Nothing at all that comes to mind because I wouldn't say I have sexual tastes as such. I can take or leave sex and have never at any stage needed it. I've gone 10 years at one stage with no sexual contact at all and rarely think about it when I'm not engaged in it. Just being on this site is more of a casual hobby than a lifestyle choice. " This site certainly is a unique little corner of the internet | |||
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"It's very difficult to deconstruct personal attraction because it's a composite of different influences and some of them will certainly be cultural. In terms of faces and body types that I like, I don't think these are culturally determined. However, from a presentational angle, there is definitely a particular look that I like, which probably dates back to the late 90s, early 00s: low-slung hipster jeans, tight cropped top, long straightish hair and no (or few) tattoos. It's mostly nostalgia though as I can't claim to meet (or even see) many women dressing like that these days. Mercifully, though, I think the waistband of jeans might be creeping down again. The recent fashion for high-waisted jeans has been torture! I hate high waisted jeans too. Even though they are meant to be more forgiving… they just feel so conservative. And I love a good midriff outfit "Rihanna in the Pon de Replay video is a prime example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEauWw9ZGrA I realise she's probably only 18 years old in this video but I was at a formative age when this look was at its height hence my affection for it! | |||
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" Your childhood sounds traumatic. I’m sorry you experienced those things. I hope you’ve found / are finding some sort of peace as an adult. I am aware that MANY people do find respite from really upsetting things in kink, and being able to explore kink in a safe, sane and consensual way. "please do not feel sorry for me as I have not told you to get sorrow. It is just what it is. You asked a question and I felt like answering as I have something to say! I have, in the past questioned why I am like I am and what motivates me to be what most would describe me as "a sexual deviant" and have realized it is due to my rather weird and alternative upbringing. I used to be ashamed of my upbringing but have grown to accept it and even enjoy the fact I have had a life less ordinary to my peers! | |||
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"I think the evidence would suggest it must. I mean I can't imagine Harry Styles being a sex symbol in the 1970s. Nor can I imagine Tom Jones being one in the 2000s (age equalised)" That's not unusual | |||
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" Your childhood sounds traumatic. I’m sorry you experienced those things. I hope you’ve found / are finding some sort of peace as an adult. I am aware that MANY people do find respite from really upsetting things in kink, and being able to explore kink in a safe, sane and consensual way.
please do not feel sorry for me as I have not told you to get sorrow. It is just what it is. You asked a question and I felt like answering as I have something to say!
I have, in the past questioned why I am like I am and what motivates me to be what most would describe me as "a sexual deviant" and have realized it is due to my rather weird and alternative upbringing.
I used to be ashamed of my upbringing but have grown to accept it and even enjoy the fact I have had a life less ordinary to my peers!"I meant absolutely no disrespect. | |||
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"I think the evidence would suggest it must. I mean I can't imagine Harry Styles being a sex symbol in the 1970s. Nor can I imagine Tom Jones being one in the 2000s (age equalised) That's not unusual " *rimshot* | |||
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" Your childhood sounds traumatic. I’m sorry you experienced those things. I hope you’ve found / are finding some sort of peace as an adult. I am aware that MANY people do find respite from really upsetting things in kink, and being able to explore kink in a safe, sane and consensual way.
please do not feel sorry for me as I have not told you to get sorrow. It is just what it is. You asked a question and I felt like answering as I have something to say!
I have, in the past questioned why I am like I am and what motivates me to be what most would describe me as "a sexual deviant" and have realized it is due to my rather weird and alternative upbringing.
I used to be ashamed of my upbringing but have grown to accept it and even enjoy the fact I have had a life less ordinary to my peers!
I meant absolutely no disrespect."No desrespect taken xxx Again, just stating the obvious! On the contrary! Thank you for your politeness and replying! No pity! No envy! It just is what it is X | |||
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" Concerning the 60s aesthetic. I adored the show Mad Men for a variety of reasons, but the aesthetics and fashions were definitely up there… They apparently had very few anachronisms for a period piece" Actually, I have it on DVD. I have still to watch it all. I think the Cristina Hendricks character epitomises the elegance of that era. Power behind the throne. | |||
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"Probably... Growing up in the early 80s to mid 90s, boy bands, classic movie stars, clean cut American actors. I didn't have any black/other ethnicity friends until I went to secondary school and then later on from clubbing. I still go for the "tall dark and handsome" type over anything else. How old do you think you were when the bulk of your tastes were formed? For me it would have been early - like just crossing puberty. After that there were sometimes deviations, but the framework was all there by my early to mid teens." Definitely early teens... I mean I read all the girly magazines, had all the posters on my walls and my parents weren't particularly open minded or accepting of other cultures. Bar one or 2 people that they knew. | |||
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"I do tend to go goth-blind as I come of age in the alternative music scene in the late 80s early 90s. Alternating between raves and festivals, the sisters of mercy brigade were always so alluring but unreachable. Now I find them the most interesting of all the people I meet, yet still unreachable Ohhhh I love Sisters of Mercy. Just as an aside "Who doesn't? I saw them live at the Roundhouse last year. | |||
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"I do tend to go goth-blind as I come of age in the alternative music scene in the late 80s early 90s. Alternating between raves and festivals, the sisters of mercy brigade were always so alluring but unreachable. Now I find them the most interesting of all the people I meet, yet still unreachable Ohhhh I love Sisters of Mercy. Just as an aside
Who doesn't? I saw them live at the Roundhouse last year. "My eyes were already green BUT THEY JUST GOT GREENER. How were they? | |||
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" Your childhood sounds traumatic. I’m sorry you experienced those things. I hope you’ve found / are finding some sort of peace as an adult. I am aware that MANY people do find respite from really upsetting things in kink, and being able to explore kink in a safe, sane and consensual way.
please do not feel sorry for me as I have not told you to get sorrow. It is just what it is. You asked a question and I felt like answering as I have something to say!
I have, in the past questioned why I am like I am and what motivates me to be what most would describe me as "a sexual deviant" and have realized it is due to my rather weird and alternative upbringing.
I used to be ashamed of my upbringing but have grown to accept it and even enjoy the fact I have had a life less ordinary to my peers!
I meant absolutely no disrespect.
No desrespect taken xxx
Again, just stating the obvious!
On the contrary! Thank you for your politeness and replying!
No pity! No envy! It just is what it is
X" | |||
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" Concerning the 60s aesthetic. I adored the show Mad Men for a variety of reasons, but the aesthetics and fashions were definitely up there… They apparently had very few anachronisms for a period piece Actually, I have it on DVD. I have still to watch it all. I think the Cristina Hendricks character epitomises the elegance of that era. Power behind the throne. " That was an epic character. And she definitely has that 1960s body type. Curves in all the right places. | |||
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"Probably... Growing up in the early 80s to mid 90s, boy bands, classic movie stars, clean cut American actors. I didn't have any black/other ethnicity friends until I went to secondary school and then later on from clubbing. I still go for the "tall dark and handsome" type over anything else. How old do you think you were when the bulk of your tastes were formed? For me it would have been early - like just crossing puberty. After that there were sometimes deviations, but the framework was all there by my early to mid teens. Definitely early teens... I mean I read all the girly magazines, had all the posters on my walls and my parents weren't particularly open minded or accepting of other cultures. Bar one or 2 people that they knew. " Girly mags like Cosmo or girlie mags like Playboy? | |||
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"I don't seem to have a "type", so I really don't know! " I have a few types but one favourite that wins out above all others. For men. For women, there’s a lot more scope. | |||
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"I seemed to have always gone for the "boy next door" type. The bad boy image never appealled x" more like incorrigible type | |||
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"I seemed to have always gone for the "boy next door" type. The bad boy image never appealled xmore like incorrigible type "Oh yeah them too | |||
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"I do tend to go goth-blind as I come of age in the alternative music scene in the late 80s early 90s. Alternating between raves and festivals, the sisters of mercy brigade were always so alluring but unreachable. Now I find them the most interesting of all the people I meet, yet still unreachable Ohhhh I love Sisters of Mercy. Just as an aside
Who doesn't? I saw them live at the Roundhouse last year.
My eyes were already green BUT THEY JUST GOT GREENER.
How were they?"Lol! They were great. Andrew Eldritch strides around the stage and peers at the audience like a strange bald gnome in shades 
I took my daughter - it was good. | |||
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"I do tend to go goth-blind as I come of age in the alternative music scene in the late 80s early 90s. Alternating between raves and festivals, the sisters of mercy brigade were always so alluring but unreachable. Now I find them the most interesting of all the people I meet, yet still unreachable Ohhhh I love Sisters of Mercy. Just as an aside
Who doesn't? I saw them live at the Roundhouse last year.
My eyes were already green BUT THEY JUST GOT GREENER.
How were they?
Lol! They were great. Andrew Eldritch strides around the stage and peers at the audience like a strange bald gnome in shades
I took my daughter - it was good. " | |||
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" Concerning the 60s aesthetic. I adored the show Mad Men for a variety of reasons, but the aesthetics and fashions were definitely up there… They apparently had very few anachronisms for a period piece Actually, I have it on DVD. I have still to watch it all. I think the Cristina Hendricks character epitomises the elegance of that era. Power behind the throne. That was an epic character. And she definitely has that 1960s body type. Curves in all the right places." It intrigues me that for such obvious opposites, we appreciate similar things. Isn’t this type of classical glamour what ‘alt girl’ is railing against?? | |||
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" Definitely early teens... I mean I read all the girly magazines, had all the posters on my walls and my parents weren't particularly open minded or accepting of other cultures. Bar one or 2 people that they knew. Girly mags like Cosmo or girlie mags like Playboy?" Ha ha like Just 17 and More... I'll never forget position of the fortnight! I think that's actually where I got handy hints on giving a blow job. | |||
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" Definitely early teens... I mean I read all the girly magazines, had all the posters on my walls and my parents weren't particularly open minded or accepting of other cultures. Bar one or 2 people that they knew. Girly mags like Cosmo or girlie mags like Playboy? Ha ha like Just 17 and More... I'll never forget position of the fortnight! I think that's actually where I got handy hints on giving a blow job. " Littlewoods catalogue underwear section was sticky | |||
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