Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I generally answer those kinds of questions, if they're part of a more complete message. A simple 'Hi, how are you?' won't motivate me to respond and is a pretty lazy opening message. Unless of course its Margot Robbie, Rihanna or Zuleyka Jerrís Rivera Mendoza. They could send a 'FAF?' and I'd be typing a reply faster than a speeding bullet..... " I don't just mean on fab. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How are you op, hope you have had a great day " I'm very rubbish today Tats, struggled to stay awake and feel like crap. But otherwise I'm fine. How are you? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I generally answer those kinds of questions, if they're part of a more complete message. A simple 'Hi, how are you?' won't motivate me to respond and is a pretty lazy opening message. Unless of course its Margot Robbie, Rihanna or Zuleyka Jerrís Rivera Mendoza. They could send a 'FAF?' and I'd be typing a reply faster than a speeding bullet..... I don't just mean on fab." Ahh. In real life I'll always reply even if it's just an 'all good thanks' or 'meh'. I've not experienced anyone declining to answer when I've asked them, so couldn't comment on that. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lately I've noticed that people ask how you are but when you ask them back, or maybe you asked first, they don't actually answer. Why is that? If I asked you how you are why would you chose to not answer? " This is really noticeable at the supermarket checkout. I wonder if it is part of the training package - ask the customer how they are, or how their day has been. I always answer politely then return the question, but only rarely get an answer and I too find it annoying. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How are you op, hope you have had a great day I'm very rubbish today Tats, struggled to stay awake and feel like crap. But otherwise I'm fine. How are you? " Hopefully you get a good nights keep tonight and feel much better tomorrow, I’m not too bad today. But backs a little sore from work other than that bath and relax on the cards | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lately I've noticed that people ask how you are but when you ask them back, or maybe you asked first, they don't actually answer. Why is that? If I asked you how you are why would you chose to not answer? " Tbh I do tend to avoid answering this question if im actually not good but dont want to burden the asker with my problems. If its someone im not close to i will just say im fine, but with people i am close to i will skip past answering rather than lie. X | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Or sometimes I just forget to reply to that part if they’ve told me lots about how they are" I agree with both your posts. Anyone in real that asks me I normally always respond with "marvelous" and then move on. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Because sometimes you want to make sure someone is ok without them deflecting onto you. When you’ve got space for someone else sometimes you just want to be there for them. " you for this. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lately I've noticed that people ask how you are but when you ask them back, or maybe you asked first, they don't actually answer. Why is that? If I asked you how you are why would you chose to not answer? This is really noticeable at the supermarket checkout. I wonder if it is part of the training package - ask the customer how they are, or how their day has been. I always answer politely then return the question, but only rarely get an answer and I too find it annoying. " I do too. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How are you op? I'm good thanks woody, how are you? " I’m fine. X | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lately I've noticed that people ask how you are but when you ask them back, or maybe you asked first, they don't actually answer. Why is that? If I asked you how you are why would you chose to not answer? " When I feel shit, I try to dodge the question as I know most of the time, its a shallow question where people really do not want to know your problems and just wanna hear "I am ok thanks". But that may just be me | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lately I've noticed that people ask how you are but when you ask them back, or maybe you asked first, they don't actually answer. Why is that? If I asked you how you are why would you chose to not answer? " 1. Because I don't want the person to know exactly how I am. 2.Because I don't want to appear vunerable. 3. It because I dint actually know how I'm feeling. 4. Because at times I'm sick and tired of talking about how I'm feeling, and just want to escape from them from a bit. 5. Because its not always about me Mr | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" If I asked you how you are why would you chose to not answer? " Because its mostly generic conversation drivel. I get asked how I am fifty times a day when I speak with customers. Drives me insane. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"People I know well will always get the true answer. But too often people use the question as a greeting without wanting to know the real answer. So those people will get ‘fine’ " I've started giving a fairly honest answer. Light on the details unless I know them well enough but I'll be honest nowadays. How are you? I'm in a lot of pain today, actually. Thanks for asking. How are you? I'm really tired, I didn't sleep well. How are you? Feeling a bit under the weather today. I'm fed up of pretending to always be fine when I'm not. And I think it's an unrealistic pressure in society to always put on a brave face and pretend to be fine. I'm now of the mindset if a person doesn't want a genuine answer, they should not ask the question. I have to say I also avoid asking a general "how are you" because a) it confuses the non native speakers we work with and b) people feel this pressure to pretend. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have this conversation multiple times a day. . Customer : "Hi. How are you ?" Me : "Fine thanks. You ?" Customer : Fine thanks." . Some days, for a bit of variety it goes like this.. . Me : "Hi. How are you ?" Customer : "Fine thanks. You ?" Me : Fine thanks." . More often than not though, I have noticed over the years, it ends up being more like this... . Customer : "Hi. How are you ?" Me : "Hi, How are you ?" . We both wait for the other to reply. No one does. So we both go for it at the same time. . Me & Customer : "Fine thanks. You ?" . And now we are both confused. . We've both asked each other again how we are in our replies to each other. And yet we both know how each of us are. Yet we have been asked the question again. . And politeness/social conditioning/deep-seated pathological pavlovian training commands that we must respond again. Or else all will be wrong with the world. . So another iteration of "Fine thanks" ensues. . And then we both stand there. Looking at each other. Both wishing a hole would open up and swallow us, or we could retreat as quickly as possible from the complete uncomfortableness of it all. . Every day. Multiple times. . I swear the next time a customer asks me how I am, I am going to say something like, . "Which me are you asking ? My ID or my Shadow ?" or "Concentric sausages carry-on luggage Boutros Boutros-Ghali"" . And that's the comedy version that gets us through the days easier than the tragedic version. Brilliant . There's always tragedy in the comedy, and comedy in the tragedy. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you start talking first, or are adept at turning conversations around, you often get information to move the conversation on (about the other person's world, or what was on the TV etc). It's one of the cleverest ways to avoid talking about yourself. Painful to observe too. You have to be a bit "switched on" to notice people who do it on a regular basis. And even more switched on to work out how you can get them to open up more, without any underlying "horrible stuff" rising too much for them to be able to manage it. Plus, they have to think you're worth the investment - talking more openly leaves a huge "and now you can fuck me over if you turn into a cunt" dynamic in play. Some people who are selling how nice they are often aren't quite as nice as their marketing is suggesting. And some people are in such pain they don't know where, how, or with whom they can share it. Working all that out, and what to do with it, is massively loaded with potential for disaster. A simple "How ya doin'?" - it's a whole drama from three words if you open it up. Not everyone's ready for it." Being in pain and being on here don't really work mind | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you start talking first, or are adept at turning conversations around, you often get information to move the conversation on (about the other person's world, or what was on the TV etc). It's one of the cleverest ways to avoid talking about yourself. Painful to observe too. You have to be a bit "switched on" to notice people who do it on a regular basis. And even more switched on to work out how you can get them to open up more, without any underlying "horrible stuff" rising too much for them to be able to manage it. Plus, they have to think you're worth the investment - talking more openly leaves a huge "and now you can fuck me over if you turn into a cunt" dynamic in play. Some people who are selling how nice they are often aren't quite as nice as their marketing is suggesting. And some people are in such pain they don't know where, how, or with whom they can share it. Working all that out, and what to do with it, is massively loaded with potential for disaster. A simple "How ya doin'?" - it's a whole drama from three words if you open it up. Not everyone's ready for it.Being in pain and being on here don't really work mind " Unless he tore your cunt . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you start talking first, or are adept at turning conversations around, you often get information to move the conversation on (about the other person's world, or what was on the TV etc). It's one of the cleverest ways to avoid talking about yourself. Painful to observe too. You have to be a bit "switched on" to notice people who do it on a regular basis. And even more switched on to work out how you can get them to open up more, without any underlying "horrible stuff" rising too much for them to be able to manage it. Plus, they have to think you're worth the investment - talking more openly leaves a huge "and now you can fuck me over if you turn into a cunt" dynamic in play. Some people who are selling how nice they are often aren't quite as nice as their marketing is suggesting. And some people are in such pain they don't know where, how, or with whom they can share it. Working all that out, and what to do with it, is massively loaded with potential for disaster. A simple "How ya doin'?" - it's a whole drama from three words if you open it up. Not everyone's ready for it.Being in pain and being on here don't really work mind Unless he tore your cunt ." Yes but I'd be seeking medical assistance | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not everyone's ready for it.Being in pain and being on here don't really work mind Unless he tore your cunt .Yes but I'd be seeking medical assistance " Agreed - but it's a great thread . And professional, qualified assistance (if it can be afforded...don't get me started Fred ) is a great thing for any form of pain. As is comedy, in many ways . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lately I've noticed that people ask how you are but when you ask them back, or maybe you asked first, they don't actually answer. Why is that? If I asked you how you are why would you chose to not answer? " I agree. Perhaps it could be that they find the question boring as they might receive it a lot, or that they don't want to bore others as another fab member said above. I enjoy listening to others and hearing about where they are at or what they are up to. I find humans fascinating. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lately I've noticed that people ask how you are but when you ask them back, or maybe you asked first, they don't actually answer. Why is that? If I asked you how you are why would you chose to not answer? " Because I don't think you'd really want to know. Plus I don't have a spare god knows how long. That's why I pay someone, they have to listen to what I've said as I've just paid them and it's in short 1hr chunks...... hurrah for therapists! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lately I've noticed that people ask how you are but when you ask them back, or maybe you asked first, they don't actually answer. Why is that? If I asked you how you are why would you chose to not answer? Because I don't think you'd really want to know. Plus I don't have a spare god knows how long. That's why I pay someone, they have to listen to what I've said as I've just paid them and it's in short 1hr chunks...... hurrah for therapists!" Hurrah indeed . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you start talking first, or are adept at turning conversations around, you often get information to move the conversation on (about the other person's world, or what was on the TV etc). It's one of the cleverest ways to avoid talking about yourself. Painful to observe too. You have to be a bit "switched on" to notice people who do it on a regular basis. And even more switched on to work out how you can get them to open up more, without any underlying "horrible stuff" rising too much for them to be able to manage it. Plus, they have to think you're worth the investment - talking more openly leaves a huge "and now you can fuck me over if you turn into a cunt" dynamic in play. Some people who are selling how nice they are often aren't quite as nice as their marketing is suggesting. And some people are in such pain they don't know where, how, or with whom they can share it. Working all that out, and what to do with it, is massively loaded with potential for disaster. A simple "How ya doin'?" - it's a whole drama from three words if you open it up. Not everyone's ready for it." Very insightful! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I usually say , I hope this message finds you well , nothing wrong with that for a starting bit " But if it doesn't find them well? If they've just found their dog dead at home or been made redundant or stubbed their toe or heard Piers Morgan on the radio? What then? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm honestly sick of saying "I'm ok thanks". " I give them the whole story of how I'm feeling at that time. They'll either care and respond, or block me because they don't need that kind of negativity in their lives. I can't wait for people to ask me tomorrow how I am. I've got so much to moan about | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm honestly sick of saying "I'm ok thanks". I give them the whole story of how I'm feeling at that time. They'll either care and respond, or block me because they don't need that kind of negativity in their lives. I can't wait for people to ask me tomorrow how I am. I've got so much to moan about " So how ya doin' Nanna? I mean, I don't give a flying fuck, but some mug on here will listen to yer whinges for sure... xxxx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm honestly sick of saying "I'm ok thanks". " I found this the easiest thing I can say, I’ve said it so often now I’m starting to believe it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |