FabSwingers.com forum: Tone it down

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you bring your whole self everywhere? Or do you tone it down sometimes in some places/ situations?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Massively tone down!

I’m, uh…a lot!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *weetCherryWoman
over a year ago

London

Definitely I tone it down everywhere. I am scared of being myself at this moment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olfandtazCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm always me! If people don't like it then that's on them not me lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I tone it down its mostly for embarrassment via association.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I show different faces in different situations but they're always my face.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Whole self, I don't give a shit, plus my fingers type before my brain kicks in and says noooooo.

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

No because, much like Estella, I know I'm a lot.

I'm neurospicy. Chaotic. Waffle a lot. Get excited easily. I know that I can easily be too much so bar a handful of people in my life, I try and rein it in. It doesn't mean I'm presenting a facade, just... a smaller part of me. If that makes sense. I think it does.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"No because, much like Estella, I know I'm a lot.

Makes total sense.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Nope the whole me what u see is what u get! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

I’m forever code switching

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I sometimes feel I could just burst with all the feelings inside me.

Pop me like a balloon and I’ll be whizzing round the space for infinity letting them all out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

My mother is the only person I’m not an annoying cunt to.

The mr

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I show different faces in different situations but they're always my face. "

Hello Erving Goffman. I was just talking about your book on the presentation of self last night

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Always show my true self...maybe in the beginning I come across as quiet etc but I'm still being me x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

What do You do OP?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do You do OP?"

Same as Gatekeeper

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do You do OP?

Same as Gatekeeper

I like him. He gets me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Be yourself always....

Better to live one day as a free man than 100 cowing down as a servant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

"I show different faces in different situations but they're always my face. "

This I think is the most common adaptation we all make. I’m me but my emotional intelligence (of which I have lots

) dictates how I conduct myself for the situation. Am I exactly the same with my mum as I am with my friends? No because she’d take great joy in remind me that she ‘ain’t one of your little friend dem’

That said im me in every interaction I have, even if I chose not to interact which is also a variation of me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I tone it down when I'm ill or overtired

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Setting your tone to at least somewhat match the environment is just basic social skills

“Act like you belong here” is a quote I remember

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I tone myself down at work around people who would he uncomfortable with all of me but the need to pay bills means we have to interact.

I tone myself down around children, or when in public situations.

I tone myself down when that's the appropriate response to a situation.

But I am all of me when I'm just with the people who mean something to me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlot o scaraWoman
over a year ago

Hell

"I show different faces in different situations but they're always my face. "

I feel this.

I’m not going to go in to a terminally ill patient and regale their family with all my stories about being rogered in the back of vans

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

God no. I’m different in different situations. I have to be.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady CurvaceousWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I'm naturally shy, I have to do the opposite in social situations and bring it on rather than tone it down. I'm a quiet and reserved creature usually.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I reign myself in a lot, there aren't many who see my full chaotic self. Plus I don't think it's feasible to be the same with your best friends and say work colleagues, it wouldn't be professional. But they're all me just different hats on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Tell me more please folks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that sometimes we give a view of ourselves to most and most of ourselves to a few.

The more vulnerable side I will keep away from people who don’t really know me at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I'm very different in the various situations I am in. at work I'm quiet and easy going. in social situations I am lively and adventurous

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I don't see it as toning down

Just behaving in a context appropriate way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see it as toning down

Just behaving in a context appropriate way "

I agree with this. I like to gauge a room in an unfamiliar place before I can decide how much myself I can show to other people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m forever code switching

Is it appropriate to talk about code switching when it's a neurotype thing rather than a race thing? Because that's what I feel like I'm doing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"I show different faces in different situations but they're always my face.

I feel this.

I’m not going to go in to a terminally ill patient and regale their family with all my stories about being rogered in the back of vans

Unless it’s their dying wish to hear it… right?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"I’m forever code switching

Is it appropriate to talk about code switching when it's a neurotype thing rather than a race thing? Because that's what I feel like I'm doing"

I feel like code switch is an umbrella term that includes neurotype.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I only know how to bring myself. If anyone wants a toned down version they can wait till im dead…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m forever code switching

Is it appropriate to talk about code switching when it's a neurotype thing rather than a race thing? Because that's what I feel like I'm doing

I feel like code switch is an umbrella term that includes neurotype. "

That's fair. I'm not sure and I don't want to take something that doesn't belong to my pasty arse, if that makes sense. (plus or minus pasty arse)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I only know how to bring myself. If anyone wants a toned down version they can wait till im dead…

That’s ages away

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I only know how to bring myself. If anyone wants a toned down version they can wait till im dead…

That’s ages away

I know right…

So I’ll just be my whole bundle of joy until then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m forever code switching

Is it appropriate to talk about code switching when it's a neurotype thing rather than a race thing? Because that's what I feel like I'm doing

I feel like code switch is an umbrella term that includes neurotype.

That's fair. I'm not sure and I don't want to take something that doesn't belong to my pasty arse, if that makes sense. (plus or minus pasty arse)"

I don’t think code switching is a thing that only applies in a race context

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I only know how to bring myself. If anyone wants a toned down version they can wait till im dead…

That’s ages away

I know right…

So I’ll just be my whole bundle of joy until then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m forever code switching

Is it appropriate to talk about code switching when it's a neurotype thing rather than a race thing? Because that's what I feel like I'm doing

I feel like code switch is an umbrella term that includes neurotype.

That's fair. I'm not sure and I don't want to take something that doesn't belong to my pasty arse, if that makes sense. (plus or minus pasty arse)

I don’t think code switching is a thing that only applies in a race context"

Fair enough. I'd only heard it in that context so... deference.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"Do you bring your whole self everywhere? Or do you tone it down sometimes in some places/ situations? "

No.

Yes.

Very very few people know or see the "real" "me".

Whoever/whatever that is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Pondering: I sometimes wonder if I actually know who the *real* me is, or if I am a reaction to others/a ‘what they may need me to be for them’. In that case, *who* am I toning down or otherwise?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Very few people get to see the real, whole me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely Tone it down now days unless with friends only

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackFromTheDead2Man
over a year ago

London/Surrey

Toned down 70% think I'm autistic & just mask so much of myself when I'm not at home

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tone down about 10%. No one needs the whole fluffy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bring far too much and I should leave some of me at home.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m generally shy and reserved unless:

A) I’ve had a drink

B) I’m in company of friends

C) I’ve known you awhile

I’m sassy, but I’ve got to get a feel for you first. See if you’re my kind of weird.

So I guess it’s masked slightly, but it’s there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Disclaimer: haven't read the thread, apologies if I wander off topic, OP

I think we show different parts of ourselves to different people, and in different situations. I'm different with my kids than I am with my friends or parents, for example. One of the things I loved about finding the fora was being able to be my sexual self publicly. Very few of my friends outside of here know about it. It's liberating and I feel very comfortable. Like I've been hiding my whole life - from myself too - and hadn't fully realised it. So yeah, I can be a lot on here. And I love having that freedom.

Mrs TMN x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread