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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
44 weeks ago

Leeds

Watching Born from the same stranger...all about people tracing their sperm donors.

If you donated sperm/eggs...

Would you like any child born from doing so to be able to find you later in their lives??

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
44 weeks ago

Staffordshire

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago


"No."

What if they had cheese?

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By *ake_or_deathMan
44 weeks ago

Manchester


"Watching Born from the same stranger...all about people tracing their sperm donors.

If you donated sperm/eggs...

Would you like any child born from doing so to be able to find you later in their lives?? "

No. If I donated it would be to allow someone else to have kids, not because I want them. Last thing I'd want is a total stranger turning up at my door because they share some genetics with me.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
44 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

No.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
44 weeks ago

Leeds

Apparently on the 1st of April 2005 a law came into effect with respect to sperm donation. Once donor-conceived people reach the age of 18 they are legally allowed to find out the identity of the sperm donor who donated to their parent(s). This ‘removal of anonymity’ law came about after studies carried out on adopted and donor-conceived children found that they benefitted emotionally from knowing who their biological parents were; regardless of whether they had any contact with them

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
44 weeks ago

Staffordshire


"No.

What if they had cheese?"

I don’t give Edam.

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago


"No.

What if they had cheese?

I don’t give Edam."

Your whey or the highway?

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
44 weeks ago

Norwich

An egg on a mountain top….

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By *stellaWoman
44 weeks ago

London

I wanted to donate eggs. But I am too old

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
44 weeks ago

Leeds


"I wanted to donate eggs. But I am too old "

Would you have like the child to be able to contact you had you been able to do so?

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

Ew no

That new law seems fucked

I don’t want a stranger on my door just because we’re related

If I was in the kids position I wouldn’t want to know then either. They’re a stranger

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
44 weeks ago

Leeds


"Ew no

That new law seems fucked

I don’t want a stranger on my door just because we’re related

If I was in the kids position I wouldn’t want to know then either. They’re a stranger "

The ones on tonight's show were really keen on finding the donors and any other half siblings

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
44 weeks ago

North West


"Ew no

That new law seems fucked

I don’t want a stranger on my door just because we’re related

If I was in the kids position I wouldn’t want to know then either. They’re a stranger

The ones on tonight's show were really keen on finding the donors and any other half siblings "

It can be important re: inherited genetic diseases or susceptibility to certain conditions, to be able to trace one's genetic parents.

There was an interesting (and equally horrifying) series of programmes on iPlayer, from the Netherlands, about an IVF doctor who over-used particular donors and there are hundreds of half siblings from such interventions. Some went to school together but didn't know they were half siblings. Imagine if they'd started a relationship and had children.

But I totally understand why donors of gametes would want to remain anonymous.

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago


"Ew no

That new law seems fucked

I don’t want a stranger on my door just because we’re related

If I was in the kids position I wouldn’t want to know then either. They’re a stranger

The ones on tonight's show were really keen on finding the donors and any other half siblings "

I guess I can get it, I just don’t see the point

There’s a million other things that make your parents who they are then some genetic testing on a sheet of paper

The people that raised you, loved you, nourished you. The people that shared in your victories and held you in your defeats.

Yeah, I just don’t get it. I’d rather focus on those that were there for me instead of a random sperm donor

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

Yes I'd be ok with that if someone wanted to know me.

But I do agree with Wokingham. A parent is much more than genetics.

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By *mf123Man
44 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

An egg on a mountain top

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

44 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Apparently on the 1st of April 2005 a law came into effect with respect to sperm donation. Once donor-conceived people reach the age of 18 they are legally allowed to find out the identity of the sperm donor who donated to their parent(s). This ‘removal of anonymity’ law came about after studies carried out on adopted and donor-conceived children found that they benefitted emotionally from knowing who their biological parents were; regardless of whether they had any contact with them "

I could be wrong but I understood that was only if they were conceived after that date.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

44 weeks ago

East Sussex

I think the donors who were promised anonymity should be allowed to remain anonymous. It's not fair to move the goal posts simply because it's now possible to trace them in some cases.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
44 weeks ago

Wirral.

I didn't know that folk could trace their donors. It's certainly not something I would have wanted, had I ever donated eggs. And I wonder if it would put folk off knowing that they could be traced...?

On a slightly different angle, I've often wondered what precautions can be taken - if any - to reduce the risk of children from the same donor entering into a relationship. Unknowingly, obviously.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
44 weeks ago

Wirral.


"I think the donors who were promised anonymity should be allowed to remain anonymous. It's not fair to move the goal posts simply because it's now possible to trace them in some cases."

I quite agree

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By *jg83Man
44 weeks ago

BURNLEY

I'd be happy to donate so people that can't have kids could. I wouldn't however want someone turning up at 18+ saying hi dad lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

44 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I didn't know that folk could trace their donors. It's certainly not something I would have wanted, had I ever donated eggs. And I wonder if it would put folk off knowing that they could be traced...?

On a slightly different angle, I've often wondered what precautions can be taken - if any - to reduce the risk of children from the same donor entering into a relationship. Unknowingly, obviously. "

I often wondered that and as far as I can tell no precautions have been taken and I can't imagine any way in which they could be.

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By *panksspankedMan
44 weeks ago

Edinburgh

If I didn't agree to this when I donated then no.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

44 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I'd be happy to donate so people that can't have kids could. I wouldn't however want someone turning up at 18+ saying hi dad lol "

I think this show highlights just how important actual blood relatives are to many people. People are very obviously deeply affected by not knowing who one of their parents are and by discovering that they might have many half siblings.

I think being a donor needs very careful consideration.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
44 weeks ago

Wirral.


"I didn't know that folk could trace their donors. It's certainly not something I would have wanted, had I ever donated eggs. And I wonder if it would put folk off knowing that they could be traced...?

On a slightly different angle, I've often wondered what precautions can be taken - if any - to reduce the risk of children from the same donor entering into a relationship. Unknowingly, obviously.

I often wondered that and as far as I can tell no precautions have been taken and I can't imagine any way in which they could be."

It's a scary thought, isn't it?

Is there a limit to the amount of embryos they can make from the same donor? I mean, if its only one, then problem solved. If no limit, some students I knew back in the day were donating left, right & centre for the cash so could have sired a football team. Or two!

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By *jg83Man
44 weeks ago

BURNLEY


"I'd be happy to donate so people that can't have kids could. I wouldn't however want someone turning up at 18+ saying hi dad lol

I think this show highlights just how important actual blood relatives are to many people. People are very obviously deeply affected by not knowing who one of their parents are and by discovering that they might have many half siblings.

I think being a donor needs very careful consideration."

I agree I mean you can't blame the person born from the donation for wanting to know it's biological father tbf

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
44 weeks ago

North West

Yes, there are limits in the UK and Europe. From the HFEA website:

Are there any limits on how many families can use the same donor?

Yes, in the UK a donor’s eggs, sperm or embryos may only be used to create up to ten families (this doesn’t include the donor’s own family). This means your donor conceived children may be genetically related to children in up to nine other donor families (plus the donor’s own family, if the donor has one).

Other countries might not have the same limits, or have no limits, on the number of children or families one donor can create. Therefore if you use donated sperm, eggs or embryos that have been imported from abroad in your treatment at a UK clinic it is important to be aware that your child may be genetically related to many more children. The HFEA only regulates UK licensed fertility clinics and so can only collect and provide information about the use of donated eggs, sperm and embryos within the UK.

The ten-family limit is more important for those using sperm donation to consider than for those using egg donation. This is because in practice it is rare for an egg donor to be used to create 10 families.

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By *jg83Man
44 weeks ago

BURNLEY


"Yes, there are limits in the UK and Europe. From the HFEA website:

Are there any limits on how many families can use the same donor?

Yes, in the UK a donor’s eggs, sperm or embryos may only be used to create up to ten families (this doesn’t include the donor’s own family). This means your donor conceived children may be genetically related to children in up to nine other donor families (plus the donor’s own family, if the donor has one).

Other countries might not have the same limits, or have no limits, on the number of children or families one donor can create. Therefore if you use donated sperm, eggs or embryos that have been imported from abroad in your treatment at a UK clinic it is important to be aware that your child may be genetically related to many more children. The HFEA only regulates UK licensed fertility clinics and so can only collect and provide information about the use of donated eggs, sperm and embryos within the UK.

The ten-family limit is more important for those using sperm donation to consider than for those using egg donation. This is because in practice it is rare for an egg donor to be used to create 10 families."

Interesting that so there are some limits and precautions

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By *panksspankedMan
44 weeks ago

Edinburgh


"I think the donors who were promised anonymity should be allowed to remain anonymous. It's not fair to move the goal posts simply because it's now possible to trace them in some cases.

I quite agree "

It's not just about the offspring's wishes surely?

The donor's wishes deserve consideration. Many may have children from a relationship and don't want them to have to deal with this.

I definitely think some consideration of the donor's views should be taken

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
44 weeks ago

North West


"Yes, there are limits in the UK and Europe. From the HFEA website:

Are there any limits on how many families can use the same donor?

Yes, in the UK a donor’s eggs, sperm or embryos may only be used to create up to ten families (this doesn’t include the donor’s own family). This means your donor conceived children may be genetically related to children in up to nine other donor families (plus the donor’s own family, if the donor has one).

Other countries might not have the same limits, or have no limits, on the number of children or families one donor can create. Therefore if you use donated sperm, eggs or embryos that have been imported from abroad in your treatment at a UK clinic it is important to be aware that your child may be genetically related to many more children. The HFEA only regulates UK licensed fertility clinics and so can only collect and provide information about the use of donated eggs, sperm and embryos within the UK.

The ten-family limit is more important for those using sperm donation to consider than for those using egg donation. This is because in practice it is rare for an egg donor to be used to create 10 families.

Interesting that so there are some limits and precautions "

There are loads of rules and regulations and precautions, if people used properly licensed, HFEA registered providers. However, people are increasingly taking donations from people they find online and DIY. That does not have rules or precautions and someone in that scenario could easily send their sperm to all and sundry. It's a bit more difficult to do DIY egg donation!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
44 weeks ago

North West


"I think the donors who were promised anonymity should be allowed to remain anonymous. It's not fair to move the goal posts simply because it's now possible to trace them in some cases.

I quite agree

It's not just about the offspring's wishes surely?

The donor's wishes deserve consideration. Many may have children from a relationship and don't want them to have to deal with this.

I definitely think some consideration of the donor's views should be taken "

Anyone who donated gametes after April 2005 will have been informed that there is no right to anonymity. That's nearly 20yrs so they should have made an informed choice as to whether they should donate or not. The rules on what donors can expect and the rights of children born, are extremely clear and must be explained in full by HFEA registered clinics, in line with the law.

With the advent of DNA ancestry tests etc, even people who are entitled to anonymity from pre-2005 donation, may be traced if they submit samples to online DNA databases.

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By *wlmanMan
44 weeks ago

Rugby


"No.

What if they had cheese?"

And crackers!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

44 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I'd be happy to donate so people that can't have kids could. I wouldn't however want someone turning up at 18+ saying hi dad lol

I think this show highlights just how important actual blood relatives are to many people. People are very obviously deeply affected by not knowing who one of their parents are and by discovering that they might have many half siblings.

I think being a donor needs very careful consideration.

I agree I mean you can't blame the person born from the donation for wanting to know it's biological father tbf "

No you can't. It raises many questions

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By *panksspankedMan
44 weeks ago

Edinburgh


"I think the donors who were promised anonymity should be allowed to remain anonymous. It's not fair to move the goal posts simply because it's now possible to trace them in some cases.

I quite agree

It's not just about the offspring's wishes surely?

The donor's wishes deserve consideration. Many may have children from a relationship and don't want them to have to deal with this.

I definitely think some consideration of the donor's views should be taken

Anyone who donated gametes after April 2005 will have been informed that there is no right to anonymity. That's nearly 20yrs so they should have made an informed choice as to whether they should donate or not. The rules on what donors can expect and the rights of children born, are extremely clear and must be explained in full by HFEA registered clinics, in line with the law.

With the advent of DNA ancestry tests etc, even people who are entitled to anonymity from pre-2005 donation, may be traced if they submit samples to online DNA databases. "

I don't doubt it but there can be fallout from this sort thing.

A close relative of mine was contacted by a half sister in his late sixties. He knew nothing of her existence and by this time his two siblings had passed away. It really upset him and how he viewed his father who we're pretty sure knew nothing about her either. While I can appreciate her wanting to find out about her past it really wasn't welcome news to him and he certainly didn't share her enthusiasm nor want be a part of her extended family

There are others to be considered in these revelations.

I was a donor for research purposes only well over 20 years ago. I would not welcome any surprise offspring at this point in my life. I wouldn't feel in any way connected to them

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago


"I think the donors who were promised anonymity should be allowed to remain anonymous. It's not fair to move the goal posts simply because it's now possible to trace them in some cases."

Yep. I absolutely wouldn’t want to know.

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By *TG3Man
44 weeks ago

Dorchester

To them whoever donated the egg or the sperm is their creator their sense if where they came from but the parent is the one who nurtured them through their life up until the moment they knew they weren't conceived by their mum and dad.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
44 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Yes

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By *a LunaWoman
44 weeks ago

South Wales

No.

Unless I was created in a moment of loving expression between two people then I wouldn’t want to know.

What emotional benefit would it bring me knowing the man who knocked out a few spurts in a cup a) for the money b) because he could? None.

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By *herryEatersCouple
44 weeks ago

East Cheshire


"Apparently on the 1st of April 2005 a law came into effect with respect to sperm donation. Once donor-conceived people reach the age of 18 they are legally allowed to find out the identity of the sperm donor who donated to their parent(s). This ‘removal of anonymity’ law came about after studies carried out on adopted and donor-conceived children found that they benefitted emotionally from knowing who their biological parents were; regardless of whether they had any contact with them "

It has long been known that children need a connection with both their true parents, even better if having equal time with both....

The State of the Worlds Children 2007 - UNICEF

"The interests of children are best served when the dynamic between men and women in the household is based on mutual respect and shared responsibilities, and both mother and father are involved in the care, nurture and support of their children. Men play a pivotal role in promoting egalitarian decision-making. From the decisions they make about resource allocation to the care and support they give to women and children, they can help fight gender discrimination in their families and communities.

The absence of fathers from the lives of their children can affect children’s emotional, physical, and intellectual development. Researchers estimate that one in three children living in the US – numbering roughly 24 million – live in homes without their biological fathers. Evidence shows that children can suffer emotionally and psychologically if they feel that they are not part of a family that conforms to what is considered ‘normal’ in their community.

A recent study examining the issue of family life from a male perspective revealed that most men aspire to be good fathers and to care for their children. But fathers often receive mixed messages regarding their rights and responsibilities as parents. Existing social and cultural norms can have a strong influence on parents’ levels of involvement with their children. The message that some men internalize is that it is not a father’s place to become heavily involved in the lives of young children.

Conventional notions about the roles of men and women in families are changing, albeit slowly. One reason is the high rate of divorce in many regions. Data from 2002 show the divorce rate in Western Europe at approximately 30 per cent, while in the Scandinavian countries, the United Kingdom and the United States, it was closer to 50 per cent. In Latin America and the Caribbean, divorce rates among women aged 40 to 49 who have been married at least once range from 25 per cent to nearly 50 per cent, with the median having nearly doubled between the mid-1980s and late 1990s.

In many parts of the world, rising living costs and the growing number of dual-income households are also transforming family dynamics. Evidence from the United Kingdom shows that in 36 per cent of two-income families, it is the father, more than any other individual, who cares for children while women are at work."

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By *onameyet2Man
44 weeks ago

chorley


"I wanted to donate eggs. But I am too old "

I donated some eggs to my local food bank

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By *onameyet2Man
44 weeks ago

chorley

I’m adopted and know who my genetic parents are/were but would never dream of contacting them, I am who I am and some fantasy of my life being different by turning up on their doorstep is misplaced and inconsiderate to them.

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By *erdyCurvyInkedPervyWoman
44 weeks ago

West Yorkshire

I have donated eggs, In 2006. I was made aware that I wouldn't have anonymity once any child born from it reached 18. That's fine, but I have it in my notes that should anyone come looking, I do not wish to be contacted.

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