FabSwingers.com forum: Rumbled tonight

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, I'm a all too common married guy with no love life at home. All efforts wasted and feels like 2 friends rather than partners.

So I message a few women who interested me. Turns out this new member is a known friend of the wife and recognised me.

Now I'm bricking it.

6 months ago I snapped and couldn't take any more and we had a good talk.

Things got a bit better but soon slopes away.

100% I wouldn't be looking if I was happy. So here I am, sitting on a potential time bomb. Fml

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not have an honest conversation with your wife? Tell her how you need and want a sex life, and listen to her reasons why she doesn't. Explain how she can't expect you to be happy not having a sex life just because she doesn't want sex, and ask her to come up with a solution. You do need to try to understand her point of view too though and then find a compromise where you'll both be happy.

Good luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like time for another talk, maybe with a couples therapist.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You must be putting at least a few hours a week into fabs trying to get meets and sex from strangers. Perhaps that time is better spent looking in to ways to make your existing relationship more fulfilling for you both? You say you're friends so I assume no animosity or resentments have brewed up. Just the common lust dying and no one knowing how to keep the flame alive.

There's plenty of great free advice online if you can't afford a couples therapist. Millions of self help books. Relationship and sex therapist content on social media (just do some due diligence to make sure it's from educated professionals and not from Andrew Tate).

You may have blown it if she finds out you've been on here, but if she gives you an opportunity to fix it, are you ready for the hard work?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We have tried, we both have things to work on. And I did up my game.

Trouble being, some of her points I cannot help her with, she has to do them herself and be committed to it.

Very easy to say and agree on, but the reality of doing just isn't happening.

Past years were great as most couples. Even some real surprises, like sucking me off on a night flight to Turkey!

We have explored some new things since, and one night really stands out. The night we believe our daughter was conceived...she was an animal and never seen that side of her.

I desperately want that back.

Being a housewife and dealing with kids I agree is a big thing. And my part is solo working supporting our family. It's a big responsibility that isn't considered, or that's how I feel.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I haven't actually had any meets with ppl here.

I think deep down it's seeking attention from a woman that's not there at home.

I'm not confident I'd actually go through with it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeez OP I seriously think you need to have a very good straight up chat with your wife....

Firstly I would not expect any man to live a sexless life just cos I no longer wanted to have sex. How anyone can expect a man to do that flabbergasts me....

If it's a sexless marriage I actually don't really see it as cheating as such.... especially if all marital intimacy has vanished....

You need to be firm & straight up with your wife & tell her you can't honestly live a sexless life & tell her you are going to seek sex elsewhere....

No more feeling guilty then & all that....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jeez OP I seriously think you need to have a very good straight up chat with your wife....

Firstly I would not expect any man to live a sexless life just cos I no longer wanted to have sex. How anyone can expect a man to do that flabbergasts me....

If it's a sexless marriage I actually don't really see it as cheating as such.... especially if all marital intimacy has vanished....

You need to be firm & straight up with your wife & tell her you can't honestly live a sexless life & tell her you are going to seek sex elsewhere....

No more feeling guilty then & all that.... "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I kinda hinted during my outburst I can't stay living like this.

Another factor is her taking contraception even tho I'm firing blanks after the snip.

Her reason was to avoid her monthlys interfering with our holiday and pool.

Still using it, her previous brands did all sorts of crazy effects, low labido and anger outbursts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I kinda hinted during my outburst I can't stay living like this.

Another factor is her taking contraception even tho I'm firing blanks after the snip.

Her reason was to avoid her monthlys interfering with our holiday and pool.

Still using it, her previous brands did all sorts of crazy effects, low labido and anger outbursts "

I know this all too well, without the contraceptives interfering.

I also know you don't wanna fuck it up just for the sake of intimacy, that aside from the lack of sex probably the rest is ok especially for the family sake.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can’t talk someone into having sex with you

If she’s stopped, it’s stopped

Why don’t you get a divorce?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can’t talk someone into having sex with you

If she’s stopped, it’s stopped

Why don’t you get a divorce? "

Why would you divorce over just one problem? 95% of the marriage might be perfect, but just the sex isn't. Surely it's better to talk and reach a compromise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread