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How mature...

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By *eli OP   Woman
over a year ago

.

Would you say you're an emotionally mature person if someone asked you (like I'm doing now)?

Is emotional maturity important to you when it comes to meeting someone on here?

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Clarify for me what you deem to be emotional maturity?

I mean I’m old/mature and I’m very fucking emotional…

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Very to both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would you say you're an emotionally mature person if someone asked you (like I'm doing now)?

Is emotional maturity important to you when it comes to meeting someone on here?"

I prefer them to have a childish sense of humour but I wouldn’t want them to be an emotional wreck either.

The first one is fun the other I would spend my time trying to fix them….it’s a bad habit of mine!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m fairly emotionally mature and value emotional maturity in partners.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Um.

I have the ability to regulate my emotions in all but the immediate of extreme circumstances. I value that ability in others.

Mature? Not so much. But emotionally capable. That matters

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By *eli OP   Woman
over a year ago

.


"Clarify for me what you deem to be emotional maturity?

I mean I’m old/mature and I’m very fucking emotional…"

Ah so right now I'm talking about - when someone is able to effectively erm not manage but... they're aware of their emotions. Are able to understand them to a certain degree, control and cope with their emotions without letting them run riot.

So... an example. I'm going to try and not link this to work and change it slightly.

Say for example something goes wrong in your day. You could lash out at people. Become very angry. Or you can try and remain calm until you work through it.

I think feeling emotions is a valid thing, it doesn't negate that. It's more leaning towards... not weaponising them, doing certain things etc.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Clarify for me what you deem to be emotional maturity?

I mean I’m old/mature and I’m very fucking emotional…

Ah so right now I'm talking about - when someone is able to effectively erm not manage but... they're aware of their emotions. Are able to understand them to a certain degree, control and cope with their emotions without letting them run riot.

So... an example. I'm going to try and not link this to work and change it slightly.

Say for example something goes wrong in your day. You could lash out at people. Become very angry. Or you can try and remain calm until you work through it.

I think feeling emotions is a valid thing, it doesn't negate that. It's more leaning towards... not weaponising them, doing certain things etc. "

I feel all the feels intensely and deeply and have learned to just lean into that and I don’t weaponise them - although I may have a million thoughts about wanting to - I tend to turn them in on myself more than on others to be honest and then vent it on the forum for ridicule as a way of just letting it go. I’m very aware of what I’m feeling and why and can articulate it clearly if someone wanted or cared to know. I don’t enforce someone hearing though, I tend to assume everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have and one of my biggest fears is being a burden or pressure to someone else. I guess because I don’t have a partner in crime it does mean I suffer alone a lot and I often think it would be so restorative to have someone to process thoughts and emotions out with that was, you know, on my team. I mean friends are but I’m typically the friend supporting and I withdraw if I need it. It’s a bad habit that I’m trying to work on but delicately as not all friends (through no malintent) are able to carry others.

Re seeking in partners, I think what I’d value most is honest communication of their emotions and thoughts so we could work together to ensure we are moving forward in a healthy and content way.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I value maturity in all matters. Everyone has moments when their emotions aren't mature but if they recognise that I'd say they have overall emotional maturity.

There's a huge difference between youthful and immature in my opinion.

I'm probably emotionally mature but I know I wasn't as a younger woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read up about emotional intelligence.

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By *eli OP   Woman
over a year ago

.


"Would you say you're an emotionally mature person if someone asked you (like I'm doing now)?

Is emotional maturity important to you when it comes to meeting someone on here?

I prefer them to have a childish sense of humour but I wouldn’t want them to be an emotional wreck either.

The first one is fun the other I would spend my time trying to fix them….it’s a bad habit of mine!"

Oh sense of humour doesn't quite come in to it in that way; you could have a playful sense of humour and also be emotionally mature.

Yes trying to fix people doesn't work as much as you might want it to, sadly. I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to meet someone who is emotionally challenged at that moment in time (I really don't like the word wreck because it feels rather mean!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm fairly emotional mature in that I'm very aware of my feelings and how they can affect others around me. The next step in my maturity would probably be to control them a bit better so that my negative emotions don't become so much of a bother that others find it a chore to be around me or feel like they have to walk on eggshells when talking to me.

I'd value emotional maturity in a partner and probably wouldn't want thw same qualities as I have as tensions can heighten pretty quickly but at the same time, I hate the thought of them having to constantly talk me off a ledge when my emotions come to the fore.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Yes, I'd say I am

And yes, it's important to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. I do believe I am. I think as long as someone is upfront, and straight with you. It’s maturity.

Have you ever asked someone what’s wrong, and they say ‘nothing’. And then they throw a million reasons at you 3 days later why they were upset?? That’s immature to me.

i am past the bullshit. If I’m able to articulate my feelings and emotions to someone, I will. Sometimes I can, and that’s only because I don’t understand them.

I e explained this often. I’m an emotional mess, but that’s nothing to do with immaturity. I’m very aware I get upset over things I shouldn’t, I care too much when I shouldn’t. But I’m mentally okay about that, that’s just me right now.

I’ve just got to get rid of a bit of emotional baggage.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I believe I am, with the occasional digression.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

I have become emotional mature in the way you describe Meli. Today I went to collect something I’d ordered online as I’d received confirmation my order was complete.

However when I got the they couldn’t find the item and didn’t know where my order was and asked me more questions than they do in subway and basically (I felt) implied I’d done something wrong by turning up to collect my order.

Former emotionally unstable me would have shouted, possibly cried, demanded a refund and told them I didn’t want the stupid thing anyway etc

New emotionally mature me answered all the questions, gave them the info they required, got my goods, left the place, went to my car and botched to my friends about it via what’s app and realised I was way over resting so I’ve now had a drive around and a Pepsi max in the sun and adjusted my attitude.

Still gonna send the order back tho.

But because I genuinely don’t want it now I’ve seen it not because I’m having a temper tantrum!

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

My 11 year old rolls her eyesat me, but I have produced a child with a fine range of dad jokes!

Probably capable of being mature, but why?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

o o OO o o

I’d like to think so.

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By *ilBWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Would you say you're an emotionally mature person if someone asked you (like I'm doing now)?

Is emotional maturity important to you when it comes to meeting someone on here?"

Emotional maturity is definitely needed for adult situations like banging out the back of KFC on a Saturday night.

I believe Phil from Hull was emotionally mature enough to understand the situation as was I.

Serious, though it's needed,game playing is for children. Just be real, feel it, don't feel it, but just say it how it is.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Oh yeah definitely I am. Not very mature apart from that though

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By *arlot o scaraWoman
over a year ago

Hell

I’m way too petty to be emotionally mature

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm at that age now where my head thinks I'm still 29, my humour would suggest I'm about 12 and my body keeps saying "are ya sure you're not dead yet?"

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Yes, absolutely.

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By *eli OP   Woman
over a year ago

.


"Um.

I have the ability to regulate my emotions in all but the immediate of extreme circumstances. I value that ability in others.

Mature? Not so much. But emotionally capable. That matters "

I think emotional regulation might be slightly different from maturity but I might be wrong.

Emotionally capable definitely does matter. We're human. We fuck up. Express ourselves in a myriad of ways and not all of them are ideal. Being emotionally capable is more than enough.

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By *eli OP   Woman
over a year ago

.


"I feel all the feels intensely and deeply and have learned to just lean into that and I don’t weaponise them - although I may have a million thoughts about wanting to - I tend to turn them in on myself more than on others to be honest and then vent it on the forum for ridicule as a way of just letting it go. I’m very aware of what I’m feeling and why and can articulate it clearly if someone wanted or cared to know. I don’t enforce someone hearing though, I tend to assume everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have and one of my biggest fears is being a burden or pressure to someone else. I guess because I don’t have a partner in crime it does mean I suffer alone a lot and I often think it would be so restorative to have someone to process thoughts and emotions out with that was, you know, on my team. I mean friends are but I’m typically the friend supporting and I withdraw if I need it. It’s a bad habit that I’m trying to work on but delicately as not all friends (through no malintent) are able to carry others.

Re seeking in partners, I think what I’d value most is honest communication of their emotions and thoughts so we could work together to ensure we are moving forward in a healthy and content way. "

Oh Estella. I've missed your longer posts. Yes, we both feel feels rather deeply. That's not a bad thing though, is it? You can sit with your feelings and not act upon them. I think that's where emotional maturity comes in to play - knowing when to step back, when to sit and when to speak up.

Having another where you can process safely, that safe space is rather lovely. Using the forums to vent, to express yourself is fine. You're not the sort to deliberately set out to hurt another through this sort of medium so yes, I think you have emotional maturity.

Communication is great, very important but so is personal accountability if that makes sense? I think you can only work together if you both want to.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"

Communication is great, very important but so is personal accountability if that makes sense? I think you can only work together if you both want to."

Yes that makes sense. Accountability for your intent but also how your words or behaviour impacts and lands with someone especially when it differs from your intent is so important. Not being defensive and cut off from how someone else says they feel even if the antithesis of your intent and just deeply hearing them and accepting it and finding that compromise or acceptance to move forward. But you hit the nail on the head, both have to *want* to and often that’s the issue which causes irreconcilable issues. Finding people willing to work on and put effort in when it’s sometimes uncomfortable or difficult. Leaving ego at the door. I posted about which was more important justice or peace the other day (I was thinking on a wider societal level but some answered on an individual level) and I think on the individual and relationship level perhaps peace is the more pressing as battling for justice (“that’s not what I meant!”) if that makes sense. Although on a wider scale I’d say the opposite that peace won’t come without justice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm, I know I am an emotional person. I don't fly off the handle in a rage or anything like that, but I often overthink, overthink, overthink. I think I take responsibility and I do apologise if needed. I do a fair bit of self analysis and the therapist helps too. Basically if I am a dick, I'm trying not to be and i have those sanity checks in place that either say I have been a bit of a dick or I really haven't.

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By *eli OP   Woman
over a year ago

.


"Would you say you're an emotionally mature person if someone asked you (like I'm doing now)?

Is emotional maturity important to you when it comes to meeting someone on here?

Emotional maturity is definitely needed for adult situations like banging out the back of KFC on a Saturday night.

I believe Phil from Hull was emotionally mature enough to understand the situation as was I.

Serious, though it's needed,game playing is for children. Just be real, feel it, don't feel it, but just say it how it is. "

KFC? I always had you down as more of a Wagamama's bins sort of woman, kind of disappointed.

Yes I think that a certain level of directness is needed for here. In life in general. I do understand why people shy away from it sometimes but game playing is something I'll never get.

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By *rmdMan
over a year ago

chesterfield

I would say I’m emotionally mature but my inner child does like to pop out from time to time but not when it comes to sex etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmmm...I know I'm able to take a lot of hits before the dam breaks. I sit on my emotions quite often, and it's not a pleasant feeling at all

But I do it because I know the alternatives, and consequences are gonna be even less pleasant. But naturally there are times when I couldn't give a f**k.

I've been exposed to other who have no emotional maturity at all..people in positions of responsibility (so yeah, work related...they're the best examples). They are quite bloody alarming when you take the time to think about it.

I couldn't possibly have them in my personal life..I think I'd be actually scared

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By *eroLondonMan
26 weeks ago

Soho

I think it's a balancing act for me. I can be mature, usually instinctively, but a tad immature when flirting or woo'ing. ❣️

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Emotionally stable is important to me for myself and an expectation of the person I’m meeting or talking too here

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By *ertcoupleCouple
26 weeks ago

Hatfield

My hubbies like a 5yrd!!! 😁😁😁

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By *oodmessMan
26 weeks ago

yumsville

Depends what time of say you catch me

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
26 weeks ago

Reading

I would say so. And yes prefer emotionally mature partners or at least those who get ENM.

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By *onestjohn1962Man
26 weeks ago

Sheffield

I’m mature in every way

Because I’m fucking old.

Still feel about 30 in my head x

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By *urplevanmanMan
26 weeks ago

Salford

Well this thread was resurrected from a past now hidden in mists and dreams 😊😊

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By *oodmessMan
26 weeks ago

yumsville

^day

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By *oeBeansMan
26 weeks ago

Derby

I thought I was... But then I realise that I absolutely crumble and get overly emotional when under pressure or things don't go the way that I had planned. So I don't think I'm emotionally mature at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago


"Clarify for me what you deem to be emotional maturity?

I mean I’m old/mature and I’m very fucking emotional…

Ah so right now I'm talking about - when someone is able to effectively erm not manage but... they're aware of their emotions. Are able to understand them to a certain degree, control and cope with their emotions without letting them run riot.

So... an example. I'm going to try and not link this to work and change it slightly.

Say for example something goes wrong in your day. You could lash out at people. Become very angry. Or you can try and remain calm until you work through it.

I think feeling emotions is a valid thing, it doesn't negate that. It's more leaning towards... not weaponising them, doing certain things etc. "

External feelings - pretty good. I rarely get angry enough with people to lash out at them, for example.

Internally, I sometimes find it difficult to control my feelings, mood and anxiety. Most people don't notice it so again, external control is better than internal.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
26 weeks ago

Holibobs

I am very emotionally mature and seek that in others, first hint of a emotional tantrum from him and I'm off.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
26 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I don't think I've changed my answer from last time 💜

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
26 weeks ago

Markfield

I’ve just read my previous answer and that place has now closed down. My emotional maturity has gone and I chuckled when I heard. I’m evil.

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By *urry BlokeMan
26 weeks ago

Overall, yes - though I do reserve the right to be a childlike bellend from time to time

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By *eli OP   Woman
26 weeks ago

.


"I think it's a balancing act for me. I can be mature, usually instinctively, but a tad immature when flirting or woo'ing. ❣️"

Oh you playful cad. Ha. Ha.

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