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"Life can throw some curved balls at you and often does but always remind yourself, behind every bad luck event you'll find a silver lining. Take my recent one for example... Now I'm a chocolate lover, toblerone to be precise.. However I hate chocolate that's at room temperature or even moreso, warm and melting so, to me wife's bemusement, I always keep my lovely chocolate in the fridge. Live is all about moderation and knowing chocolate and a good figure aren't good bed fellows I only ever indulge once a month or on special occasions. 6 or so months back was one such special occasion.. The crowning of our new king so obviously the chocolate made an appearance. Now, the problem with keeping chocolate at colder temperatures is that it can be like trying to break steel when it comes to the eating. This such occasion was no different.. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't break the chocolate into pieces. AHA! I cried after 5 frustrating and painful minutes, I'll get the off hand grinder recently gifted to me on my birthday and as yet, totally unused. So I set about unpacking the new tool, setting up the grinding disc on it, meticulously reading the safety instructions and donning the correct PPE. I sat down to write up a quick risk assessment but then realised that might be taking it a little too seriously so without further delay, plugged the tool into my favourite 3 pin plug socket (that's the one next to the toaster if you didn't know... Double plug, switched and 2 x integrated usb c charging points... What's not to love about it?!) Anyway I digress... Without further ado... And with Morten Harket still playing in the background...I plugged the tool in (left hand side socket as always), flicked the socket switch, powerer the tool up to 1000 revs and.... Promptly took my thumb and 2 fingers clean off! I was rushed to hospital along with the severed parts of my body but after 6 long hours, they took me through, took one look at my hand and threw the digits in the bin. Junior doctors?? More like infant doctors!!! Over the next 4 months my hand healed leaving just a few scars where once I had beautiful fingers and a thumb. Now, being a intermediary interpreter for the local deaf community (signer) I was immediately made redundant because every time I tried signing a word the poor deaf people didn't have a clue.. The word shoe became boat, the word hello became bicycle and the phrase I'll have 5 please became I'll just take the two thanks! Anyway I hear you all say, where's the silver lining to that story? You lost two fingers and a thumb, lost your job and didn't even get to taste the toblerone. (By the time we had returned from A and E the bloody cat had licked it everywhere!) Well... There was a silver lining to the story and it's one I'll share with you right now... Every time I have a secret wank now, it feels like the wife with her petite little hands is doing it! Bloody amazing!!! See... Every cloud and all that... Thanks for listening guys, have a great day xxxx " Hope you enjoyed my tale of misfortune and happiness | |||
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"Life can throw some curved balls at you and often does but always remind yourself, behind every bad luck event you'll find a silver lining. Take my recent one for example... Now I'm a chocolate lover, toblerone to be precise.. However I hate chocolate that's at room temperature or even moreso, warm and melting so, to me wife's bemusement, I always keep my lovely chocolate in the fridge. Live is all about moderation and knowing chocolate and a good figure aren't good bed fellows I only ever indulge once a month or on special occasions. 6 or so months back was one such special occasion.. The crowning of our new king so obviously the chocolate made an appearance. Now, the problem with keeping chocolate at colder temperatures is that it can be like trying to break steel when it comes to the eating. This such occasion was no different.. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't break the chocolate into pieces. AHA! I cried after 5 frustrating and painful minutes, I'll get the off hand grinder recently gifted to me on my birthday and as yet, totally unused. So I set about unpacking the new tool, setting up the grinding disc on it, meticulously reading the safety instructions and donning the correct PPE. I sat down to write up a quick risk assessment but then realised that might be taking it a little too seriously so without further delay, plugged the tool into my favourite 3 pin plug socket (that's the one next to the toaster if you didn't know... Double plug, switched and 2 x integrated usb c charging points... What's not to love about it?!) Anyway I digress... Without further ado... And with Morten Harket still playing in the background...I plugged the tool in (left hand side socket as always), flicked the socket switch, powerer the tool up to 1000 revs and.... Promptly took my thumb and 2 fingers clean off! I was rushed to hospital along with the severed parts of my body but after 6 long hours, they took me through, took one look at my hand and threw the digits in the bin. Junior doctors?? More like infant doctors!!! Over the next 4 months my hand healed leaving just a few scars where once I had beautiful fingers and a thumb. Now, being a intermediary interpreter for the local deaf community (signer) I was immediately made redundant because every time I tried signing a word the poor deaf people didn't have a clue.. The word shoe became boat, the word hello became bicycle and the phrase I'll have 5 please became I'll just take the two thanks! Anyway I hear you all say, where's the silver lining to that story? You lost two fingers and a thumb, lost your job and didn't even get to taste the toblerone. (By the time we had returned from A and E the bloody cat had licked it everywhere!) Well... There was a silver lining to the story and it's one I'll share with you right now... Every time I have a secret wank now, it feels like the wife with her petite little hands is doing it! Bloody amazing!!! See... Every cloud and all that... Thanks for listening guys, have a great day xxxx " Forgive my train of thought, but were you hunting high and low for your fingers? | |||
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"Life can throw some curved balls at you and often does but always remind yourself, behind every bad luck event you'll find a silver lining. Take my recent one for example... Now I'm a chocolate lover, toblerone to be precise.. However I hate chocolate that's at room temperature or even moreso, warm and melting so, to me wife's bemusement, I always keep my lovely chocolate in the fridge. Live is all about moderation and knowing chocolate and a good figure aren't good bed fellows I only ever indulge once a month or on special occasions. 6 or so months back was one such special occasion.. The crowning of our new king so obviously the chocolate made an appearance. Now, the problem with keeping chocolate at colder temperatures is that it can be like trying to break steel when it comes to the eating. This such occasion was no different.. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't break the chocolate into pieces. AHA! I cried after 5 frustrating and painful minutes, I'll get the off hand grinder recently gifted to me on my birthday and as yet, totally unused. So I set about unpacking the new tool, setting up the grinding disc on it, meticulously reading the safety instructions and donning the correct PPE. I sat down to write up a quick risk assessment but then realised that might be taking it a little too seriously so without further delay, plugged the tool into my favourite 3 pin plug socket (that's the one next to the toaster if you didn't know... Double plug, switched and 2 x integrated usb c charging points... What's not to love about it?!) Anyway I digress... Without further ado... And with Morten Harket still playing in the background...I plugged the tool in (left hand side socket as always), flicked the socket switch, powerer the tool up to 1000 revs and.... Promptly took my thumb and 2 fingers clean off! I was rushed to hospital along with the severed parts of my body but after 6 long hours, they took me through, took one look at my hand and threw the digits in the bin. Junior doctors?? More like infant doctors!!! Over the next 4 months my hand healed leaving just a few scars where once I had beautiful fingers and a thumb. Now, being a intermediary interpreter for the local deaf community (signer) I was immediately made redundant because every time I tried signing a word the poor deaf people didn't have a clue.. The word shoe became boat, the word hello became bicycle and the phrase I'll have 5 please became I'll just take the two thanks! Anyway I hear you all say, where's the silver lining to that story? You lost two fingers and a thumb, lost your job and didn't even get to taste the toblerone. (By the time we had returned from A and E the bloody cat had licked it everywhere!) Well... There was a silver lining to the story and it's one I'll share with you right now... Every time I have a secret wank now, it feels like the wife with her petite little hands is doing it! Bloody amazing!!! See... Every cloud and all that... Thanks for listening guys, have a great day xxxx " You don’t mention the lack of digits on your profile? Trading standards and all that  | |||
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