FabSwingers.com forum: Not checking the dimensions first

By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.

And it's just too big.

Too too big.

Absurd. Borderline unethical.

How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?

Although I may have to order more lube first

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Oooffftttt

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

You've made my quim twitch. Not in a sexy way, more in a wincing imagining it way.

I'd say take all the time you need. Lube aplenty and ease yourself in/on to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think at that point I'd admit to not having my wits me about me and walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely unethical

But I know you can do it ...just not tomorrow

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Maybe just get to know each other first, have a little candle lit chat and a glass of wine.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.

And it's just too big.

Too too big.

Absurd. Borderline unethical.

How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?

Although I may have to order more lube first

So often! You’d think I’d learn!!

But the thing to do is divide a cheesecake in two and consider pairing it with a nice passion fruit jus.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Did you order a traffic cone by mistake? Because I think I’ve seen a video of that….

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

You know, you don't have to if you think you might be split from arse to tit!

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Did you order a traffic cone by mistake? Because I think I’ve seen a video of that…."

They do actually do a traffic cone one. I thought more textures would be a good thing.

I may have been wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.

And it's just too big.

Too too big.

Absurd. Borderline unethical.

How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?

Although I may have to order more lube first

The time it takes to put your affairs in order, and bid a tearful farewell to all your loved ones

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

https://youtu.be/qZpXoxpnWds?si=g6FWAQNu10-QyXg-

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm intrigued

Miss S x

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x"

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Thoughts and prayers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Thank you!

I think you should lube and brave it

I'm intrigued as to how those ones feel, I've never tried one.

Miss S x

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Thank you!

I think you should lube and brave it

I'm intrigued as to how those ones feel, I've never tried one.

Miss S x"

Oh, the reasonably sized ones have been amazing. I throw so much money at these creators it's unreal.

But this may actually be worse than the 16 inch depth trainer for intimidation

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Well.

Gosh.

Ummm.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Thank you!

I think you should lube and brave it

I'm intrigued as to how those ones feel, I've never tried one.

Miss S x

Oh, the reasonably sized ones have been amazing. I throw so much money at these creators it's unreal.

But this may actually be worse than the 16 inch depth trainer for intimidation

Oh really. This does intrigue me, I may have to invest!

Oh blimey, eye watering

Miss S x

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

I wish you all the luck in the world

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I thought it was a garden gnome!

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I thought it was a garden gnome! "

They do one of those.

I haven't bought a Gnomey-oh yet though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Well. I usually say if something is overwhelming do it in little stages…

I don’t know where to even begin with that.

Good luck

It does look awesome though (if the same size as my arm

)

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Like a dragon egg?

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Well. I usually say if something is overwhelming do it in little stages…

I don’t know where to even begin with that.

Good luck

It does look awesome though (if the same size as my arm

I can't even close my hand around the damn head!

I'm a 6ft girl with big old hands. This should not be an issue goddamnit!

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By *ullyMan
over a year ago

Near Clacton

So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.

And it's just too big.

Too too big.

Absurd. Borderline unethical.

How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?

Although I may have to order more lube first

Take it slow and inch at a time, slow and steady.

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By *ddie1966Man
over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

Erm. !!!

Leave it on the mantle piece and tell people it's modern art.

You might just get away with it you know.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Something that big should at least be buying you a drink first to get inside you

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By *hunkyBuggaMan
over a year ago

Devon

I believe in you PTTF!

Uber bottle of lube, a deep breath and bombs away I say

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I am sat in the Uber crying with laughter at this OP

Good luck. It’ll be fun

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By *ertie63Man
over a year ago

newark

I thought initially you had a huge sideboard or wardrobe outside your front door! You can tell I’m getting old thinking the proper way not the sexy way!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Use it as a doorstop.

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By *ittle. BeaverWoman
over a year ago

Launceston

"Maybe just get to know each other first, have a little candle lit chat and a glass of wine. "

I'd say a few glasses of wine, and if possible a smoke of something relaxing! Oh and lots of deep breaths! Good luck!

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By *panksspankedMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You know you won't be happy until you've done it

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Use it as a doorstop. "

On the gates of Hell? That'll work.

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Use it as a doorstop.

On the gates of Hell? That'll work."

I think I'd need the next size up for gates that big

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

It’s been a pleasure knowing you, Prey.

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan
over a year ago

Wigan

Order the extra lube, get one of those pull up bars you fit into the top of the door frame then drink a bottle of wine or two. Swing yourself on the bar until you've got enough hight for a summersault and aim for that monster!

If you miss, hopefully you've had enough wine to laugh at your spectacular fall, if you get it right you'll have an amazing story to tell everyone at A&E!

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By *ogan WillowCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Did you buy it from Costco?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.

And it's just too big.

Too too big.

Absurd. Borderline unethical.

How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?

Although I may have to order more lube first

I thought you was talking about buying a sofa online at first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If Optimus Prime had a penis...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Frigging Nora

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Frigging Nora

That about sums it up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Frigging Nora

That made my eyes water.

Has it melted?

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By *ilBWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

"So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.

And it's just too big.

Too too big.

Absurd. Borderline unethical.

How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?

Although I may have to order more lube first

Reading this made my night, thank you

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Right.

Less than a week.

If I go over a week I'll never face the damned thing.

I have decided

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Hoooooly smokes, that dragon looks pretty bad.

I guess slow and steady wins the race... good luck!

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Hoooooly smokes, that dragon looks pretty bad.

I guess slow and steady wins the race... good luck!

Why does everyone assume it's a Dragon

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By *uascaireMan
over a year ago

Dundalk

Super kingsize bed, hard getting it up the stairs ??

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

Hoooooly smokes, that dragon looks pretty bad.

I guess slow and steady wins the race... good luck!

Why does everyone assume it's a Dragon

I guess because it looks like a bad dragon, and I'm not so familiar with other types.

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By *ir SupremacyMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Prey....I love you....but what the hell made you order that monster thing...it looks evil lol x

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Prey....I love you....but what the hell made you order that monster thing...it looks evil lol x"

Um. It was on special with it being one of the last Christmas ones in stock, and there was an inventory sale for an extra 30%. And I had a discount code on top.

And now they won't be making any more until at least next Christmas, if they bring it back at all. I was hoping to get another Splicer at Halloween but they had a new model instead this year

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"

I don't think I fits

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By *hunkyBuggaMan
over a year ago

Devon

"Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"

I don't think I fits

Don’t start with a negative attitude…. I’m sure you’ll have fun regardless

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"

I don't think I fits

I have been sat here with a tape measure, looking at it thoughtfully, and comparing with multiples of B's fingers. The one I thought looked interesting was in inventory in both 'small size, medium firmness' and 'medium size, soft firmness'. I have gone small and hope this is the right decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bought a tumble dryer that didn't fit under the cupboard once. Didn't think to try lube. Damn

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"

I don't think I fits

I usually go for the small sizes, but this one was on a mega discount in leftover Christmas inventory, and they won't be making any more until next Christmas season, if they make this one again at all. I was gutted they had a new Halloween model this year so I couldn't get another Splicer from Halloween 2022

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By *ickeyblueeyes7Man
over a year ago

newport

"I'm intrigued

Miss S x

I posted a video of the unethical bastard

I thought it was a Christmas decoration for the fire place when I first saw it

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"

I don't think I fits

Someone else I know got the Fenyx in medium yesterday and it's huge, but intriguing. I went for Lenea (not the depth one) and because it was inventory I managed to get rainbow pride colours for a bargain

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By *reyToTheFairies OP Woman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Someone else I know got the Fenyx in medium yesterday and it's huge, but intriguing. I went for Lenea (not the depth one) and because it was inventory I managed to get rainbow pride colours for a bargain

My Fenyx is a medium. I think I assumed with the double shaft it'd be more reasonable on size.

I was wrong.

I have a friend with a trophy Dovah and a large depth trainer. That boy is a level of size queen I will never be able to achieve

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