FabSwingers.com forum: Coffee

By *ackformore100 OP Man
over a year ago

Tin town

I don't often drink coffee, especially in a coffee shop... One of those where you can't move for little kids running around while mums in lycra "catch up" with eachother and discuss the latest news...whilst sharing a jug of tap water.

So it was with trepidation I entered, it was cold out, I needed to kill 90 minutes whilst the car was sorted...

"yes sir what can I get you?"

A good start... I liked the "sir".

"a coffee please"

I was then presented a menu of about 10 different coffees...in 4 different sizes, a choice of cup... Did I want a flavouring, salted caramel... Fucking salted caramel and coffee.. What's all that about.? Vanilla... 3 other choices...

"no thanks just a coffee... Erm.. A latte would be fine"

"would you like any toppings...? Wtf?! Like what.. Oh whipped cream... Chocolate...nutmeg..cinamon.."

Just a coffee please.

"ok where will you be sitting"?

"erm... Don't know I only just walked in"... Pointing to the only free table... The one with the buggy hurdles around it... "that one".

"what number is it?"

"I don't know I've only just walked in"

"well I can't take your order without a table number"

"ok it's 4"

"oh no sir..its not 4 that is (points to a different table)"...

"are you a member of our loyalty club?"

"no"

"would you like to join our loyalty club today? If you have 10 drinks your next one is free?"

And so it went on... After what seemed like about 10 minutes to order and a further 10 minutes while I waited for them to make pretty patterns in the froth a cup of Joe arrived...

"that will be 4.50"...

Reaches for 5 pound note...

"oh no... We don't take cash"

And there is why I don't drink coffee very often.