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Go easy on single guys

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By *ingleguyforfunsw OP   Man
over a year ago

Cornwall

Getting fed up of couples treating single guys abruptly. Everyone deserves a little respect don’t you think? Single guys serve a purpose on fab and are so themes treated like meat. Couples expecting the world but giving nothing back. Also I don’t see why guys should be expected to send face pics if you aren’t prepared to return? Build up the trust and good things flow!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

We don't treat them any differently to couples.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I treat men like I treat everyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On one hand, everyone deserves respect

On the other, many guys operate on here as if they deserve no respect. Willing to do or say anything for even a hint of pussy.

Maybe if single guys raised their standards a bit and acted like they’re worth something, others would respect them more.

Not excusing anyone being abusive or nasty, that’s never excusable

But every woman, or guy that’s been part of a couple, will tell you that many single guys (not all for those that need to hear it) operate in a way that doesn’t shine them in the best light

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I treat everyone the same OP.

Some will. Some won’t. Don’t worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I treat men like I treat everyone else"

Really?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I treat men like I treat everyone else

Really? "

Yes, I send them messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I treat men like I treat everyone else

Really?

Yes, I send them messages "

I’ll wait for mine in the post

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By *dswingersCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

most only cock bomb or want pussy pics the minute they find out hubby does open some messages and reply’s it’s him then single man blocks or is rude! is that fair? (k) x

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

This isn't a couples/single guy issue. As a woman I get banal or disrespectful messages from both couples. And from men. And occasionally from women. It's just some *people* don't know how to behave respectfully

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually I try to be as polite to them as they are to me

Generally they are very respectful

If they are on the rare occasion rude I will refer them to my profile to read carefully

Honestly I get the most lovely messages 99% of the time

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Couples are the scum of fab, it's okay. We had a community forum vote to decide this and everything!

Not all couples are like that, some couples are some of the best people here. Or maybe it's just one half of the couple, the other is a twat.

Point is there are some. Good eggs around.

Let's not separate it down in to men vs women vs couples vs tv/ts. End of the day it's people, people are either shitty or not. Regardless of being a couple or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Couples are the scum of fab, it's okay. We had a community forum vote to decide this and everything!

"

I voted for them

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Someone has to say it, some guys absolutely get what they deserve.

Please note I said “some” and I’m not including couples or women as I’m not looking for them, therefore I have very little experience with them and how they interact.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I treat everyone with respect. It doesn't mean that I'll engage with them as they may feel entitled to. Within site rules, people can ask for what they want and will have preferences. Sent face pics that get no reciprocal exchange probably means there's no point, as there's no mutual attraction.

Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. When we accept this, we are being realistic, as most chats will reach a deadend. There's no need to say thanks but no thanks to the failures that were explored. Chat stops, with or without a block.

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By *hrimper36Couple
over a year ago

Central France dept 36

Op methinks that you tar everybody with the same brush because we treat all equally on here but I’m sure you come across some that are abrasive to you.

T

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By *pen2UMan
over a year ago

Telford

I'm finding it's not just couples, but women and men alike. We're all prone to be rude and obnoxious sometimes. Not singling anyone out of course.

However, I've sent messages (polite message might I add) and not had messages back from single females AND couples and not had any messages back? Am I butt hurt over it? A little, is it worth going public about? Nope. I just say to myself I'm not their type and move on!

Anyways, my inbox is open for anyone to message me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t let others control how you feel, if they are rude or conduct themselves is a way you find unappealing or unpleasant then simply don’t interact with them … I’d have absolutely no interest in any interactions with anyone I don’t enjoy spending my time on or with and that includes online conversations / interactions

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

My length of time on this site, haven't been treated any different than I'd expect to be and it's been overwhelming positively. as for pictures we can't always be compatible so just ride it and move on

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

More men than women or couples. Join in with forum/cam room chat and get noticed op. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On one hand, everyone deserves respect

On the other, many guys operate on here as if they deserve no respect. Willing to do or say anything for even a hint of pussy.

Maybe if single guys raised their standards a bit and acted like they’re worth something, others would respect them more.

Not excusing anyone being abusive or nasty, that’s never excusable

But every woman, or guy that’s been part of a couple, will tell you that many single guys (not all for those that need to hear it) operate in a way that doesn’t shine them in the best light "

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By *xelciscoMan
over a year ago

Reading/bracknell


"Don’t let others control how you feel, if they are rude or conduct themselves is a way you find unappealing or unpleasant then simply don’t interact with them … I’d have absolutely no interest in any interactions with anyone I don’t enjoy spending my time on or with and that includes online conversations / interactions "

Yep. Best way all around.

I always make efforts on the outgoing note to see what comes back..

People with brains, manners, and vocabulary immediately become apparent. Wheat vs chaff..

Axel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately the majority of guys on here ruin it for the few decent ones , I have regulars on here couples and single females . The majority of messages that they receive leaves them needing bleach for their eyes , more so the single ladies .

Then to make matters worse when rejected or not answered the abuse start's which can be horrific and very personal . It’s constant for them . This site attracts the worst that the male gender has to offer so can you really blame them ?

I call it fab message fatigue

This message comes across as butt hurt frustration and after looking at your prof I get it as you haven’t had a meet in the last ten months , is it possible that says more about you and your style of messaging than the people you message ? …. Possibly

What I do know is that you haven’t done yourself any favours with this post as the only moaning that’s appreciated happens in bed when naked .

No one on here owes you anything , you need to make peace with that

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Someone has to say it, some guys absolutely get what they deserve.

Please note I said “some” and I’m not including couples or women as I’m not looking for them, therefore I have very little experience with them and how they interact. "

Couples you're normally dealing with the guy anyway

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By *heitaliandreamerMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Absolutely, I couldn't agree more with your sentiments. Respect is a fundamental aspect of any interaction, and it should be afforded to everyone, regardless of their relationship status. Single guys indeed play an important role on platforms like Fab, and it's not fair for them to be treated as lesser or merely as commodities. It's all about mutual respect and understanding, which should be the foundation of any engagement on the site.

Furthermore, you make an excellent point regarding the exchange of pictures. Trust is a two-way street, and expecting single guys to send face pics without reciprocity doesn't foster a trusting environment. It's only fair that if one side is expected to share personal images, the other side should be equally open. Transparency and fairness can definitely lead to better experiences for all parties involved. Good things indeed flow from a base of trust and mutual respect.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

There's some lovely single guys on here, there's also a lot of pricks.

In regards to face pics if they've asked and you've sent why would they return it I'd there's zero attraction, there's just no point, if you don't want to send one don't send one.

It's not something we ask for immediately but it is something I want to see early on, I need attraction and for that I need a face & personality a cock or tits won't give me any idea of if there's any attraction at all.

If people ask I'll send one if I'm interested, I won't return one if I'm not though it's pointless.

I think the many bad experiences of some men put people off, we don't meet men so I can't really judge if I treat them differently, there's a guy I chat to on a friendly basis no different to anyone else, however I will note he's the only man who's remained friendly and hasn't tried to push meeting or sex when it's very clear we don't meet men.

We get more messages of single men than anything else & that says a lot it's definitely setting themselves up for disappointment and not getting replies the huge warning as well as our profile are pretty clear we won't meet men.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, because women get treated so nicely by couples too.

You know they messages us and want a chat with a view to us flying to them and even paying for our own flights while they sit and wait.

Couples treat single women like they are gold. Honest!

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"Getting fed up of couples treating single guys abruptly. Everyone deserves a little respect don’t you think? Single guys serve a purpose on fab and are so themes treated like meat. Couples expecting the world but giving nothing back. Also I don’t see why guys should be expected to send face pics if you aren’t prepared to return? Build up the trust and good things flow! "

I think you mean "some couples". Just like it is some men and some ladies who are twats. But in general couples have more power in this world than single men. It's just the numbers so unavoidable to some extent that different rules apply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do single guys serve a purpose?

We are all just doing our own things aren’t we?

I just think, if we don’t like what other people are doing, why would you try to interact with them anyway?

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By *ouple24669Couple
over a year ago

Brechin

This will be an unpopular opinion according to men on here but this is the reality of fab….

After being on here 18 months we can tell you that guys behave horrendously compared to couples on here.

95% of those who message us have clearly not read our profile. They message with the intention of having sex with mrs but can’t be arsed to read our profile first…..where’s the respect given to us? Why would you get anything but an abrupt reply if you (men) can’t read a profile before messaging?

Clearly all men are not like this but the VAST MAJORITY are…..hence the treatment.

Instead of having a go at couples that have to put up with this from guys maybe have a go at your fellow men and persuade maybe just a few to change their approach.

PS : just to let you know an articulate message from someone who has clearly read our profile will get an appropriate response.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We've always treated everyone the way we would like to be treated.Some people are just idiots regardless of if their a single man single women or part of a couple.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Yep, because women get treated so nicely by couples too.

You know they messages us and want a chat with a view to us flying to them and even paying for our own flights while they sit and wait.

Couples treat single women like they are gold. Honest!

"

I'll stoke your hair while the Mr gives you a back rub, only if you catch a flight now though and be layed in the front room before 2pm.

See you soon

Mrs

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"This will be an unpopular opinion according to men on here but this is the reality of fab….

After being on here 18 months we can tell you that guys behave horrendously compared to couples on here.

95% of those who message us have clearly not read our profile. They message with the intention of having sex with mrs but can’t be arsed to read our profile first…..where’s the respect given to us? Why would you get anything but an abrupt reply if you (men) can’t read a profile before messaging?

Clearly all men are not like this but the VAST MAJORITY are…..hence the treatment.

Instead of having a go at couples that have to put up with this from guys maybe have a go at your fellow men and persuade maybe just a few to change their approach.

PS : just to let you know an articulate message from someone who has clearly read our profile will get an appropriate response. "

I think you mean the VAST MAJORITY of men who message you. The VAST MAJORITY of men will not message you as they ready your profile and realise you are not compatible so you have no idea how they behave. I only message people where I think there is a reason to message - this could be 1 out of 100 profiles I might browse. I actually think a huge chunk of the men here are not too different from me but we are the relatively silent polite bunch (with regarding to messaging at least) but people base opinions on the noisy majority who scattergun poor messages. It is understandable of course and doesn't make the experience any less annoying I know. Its like going to a pub or a club and basing your opinions of every man there on the few who come up to you with cheesy chat up lines or are generally d*unk twats.

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By *ouple24669Couple
over a year ago

Brechin

Can only base opinion on what we have experienced. This is our experience.

We did warn you that you wouldn’t like the opinion.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"Can only base opinion on what we have experienced. This is our experience.

We did warn you that you wouldn’t like the opinion. "

I don't dislike it or like it. I was just pointing out the logical flaw in generalising from the people who choose to message you to all men on Fab. You have selection bias at work.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"Can only base opinion on what we have experienced. This is our experience.

We did warn you that you wouldn’t like the opinion. "

And I said would you base your opinion of all men in a pub on a few who might talk to you and behave badly?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

#notallmen

Every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"#notallmen

Every time "

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

If you are treated badly block them and be thankful for a lucky escape.

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By *olfandtazCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I treat them how they treat us.

We are happy to provide a face pic if there is an attraction.

We do get some which don't bother reading the profile and they get treated in due course.

We have had to block a few because they were just being plain ignorant and rude.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"#notallmen

Every time "

Well not all couples either based on OP's first message

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"#notallmen

Every time

Well not all couples either based on OP's first message"

It's not usually couples who protest so much, though.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"#notallmen

Every time "

And the poster above I replied to was basically saying all men - or the vast majority. As I said selection bias in who chooses to message.

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By *inkedKuntsCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"The VAST MAJORITY of men will not message you as they ready your profile and realise you are not compatible "

You are presuming a lot right there, even though our profile clearly states no single males, makes no mention of single males joining us, they still message (well did until filters). They message us their fantasies that have no relatable content to our profile and pics, they message us their dicks, they message as if the Mr isn't there, and they message as if we have already said yes to meeting them.

I too was a single man on here for years so do get what you are saying in parts, but sadly the VAST MAJORITY still don't read profiles and let their cock do the thinking for them. It's a shame because there is also plenty of good men on here, I've met plenty in clubs and at parties and like to believe I was one of them, but still the VAST MAJORITY of registered men do let us down.

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We treat single guys how they treat us on here. Generally, that means with little to no respect. I'm not gonna waste my time being nice to someone who lacks common decency from the first message.

A shame really as single guys are our priority.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The VAST MAJORITY of men will not message you as they ready your profile and realise you are not compatible

You are presuming a lot right there, even though our profile clearly states no single males, makes no mention of single males joining us, they still message (well did until filters). They message us their fantasies that have no relatable content to our profile and pics, they message us their dicks, they message as if the Mr isn't there, and they message as if we have already said yes to meeting them.

I too was a single man on here for years so do get what you are saying in parts, but sadly the VAST MAJORITY still don't read profiles and let their cock do the thinking for them. It's a shame because there is also plenty of good men on here, I've met plenty in clubs and at parties and like to believe I was one of them, but still the VAST MAJORITY of registered men do let us down. "

Have you caveated sufficiently to avoid the notallmen brigade? Hmm, dunno. We'll have to see.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"We treat single guys how they treat us on here. Generally, that means with little to no respect. I'm not gonna waste my time being nice to someone who lacks common decency from the first message.

A shame really as single guys are our priority. "

When I had filters open I probably treated men (and every other demographic) with more respect than they treated me - I deleted most messages which ranged from demanding to obscene. Being ignored/ a passive no is far better than that nonsense.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading


"Unfortunately the majority of guys on here ruin it for the few decent ones , I have regulars on here couples and single females . The majority of messages that they receive leaves them needing bleach for their eyes , more so the single ladies .

Then to make matters worse when rejected or not answered the abuse start's which can be horrific and very personal . It’s constant for them . This site attracts the worst that the male gender has to offer so can you really blame them ?

I call it fab message fatigue

This message comes across as butt hurt frustration and after looking at your prof I get it as you haven’t had a meet in the last ten months , is it possible that says more about you and your style of messaging than the people you message ? …. Possibly

What I do know is that you haven’t done yourself any favours with this post as the only moaning that’s appreciated happens in bed when naked .

No one on here owes you anything , you need to make peace with that

"

These is not my experience at all. The biggest grumble i have is that if people sctually read profiles amd made sure they fit what the profile is looking for they would save their own time and mine. But my experience is mostly polite tequests and very little push back when told no.

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By *ouple24669Couple
over a year ago

Brechin

Well sorry but you are completely wrong. You, as a guy, have denial bias about how guys operate on fab.

As when we did not have any detail on our profile when we were newer to fab single guys still acted in exactly the same way and couples didn’t so your assumption is completely wrong. It’s absolutely nothing to do with the specific guys who message us it’s as we have proven….guys in general……pointless in denying that.

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By *lmost TouchingMan
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat.

I just think that you are in a public forum and some people are really nice and others are really ugly.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"The VAST MAJORITY of men will not message you as they ready your profile and realise you are not compatible

You are presuming a lot right there, even though our profile clearly states no single males, makes no mention of single males joining us, they still message (well did until filters). They message us their fantasies that have no relatable content to our profile and pics, they message us their dicks, they message as if the Mr isn't there, and they message as if we have already said yes to meeting them.

I too was a single man on here for years so do get what you are saying in parts, but sadly the VAST MAJORITY still don't read profiles and let their cock do the thinking for them. It's a shame because there is also plenty of good men on here, I've met plenty in clubs and at parties and like to believe I was one of them, but still the VAST MAJORITY of registered men do let us down. "

Well I am basing this on some experience. I have had a couples profile here for a long time and met a lot of people. We get a lot of views but relatively few messages. The messages we get are generally crap and get worse if we engage - the same experience as many. But how many of the people who view us message? I would say less than 5 out of 100. 95 people read our profile, realise we are not compatible and don't message. If we based our opinion on men on the 5 who message we would be doing a great disservice to 95 who respectfully don't message. It's like the pub example.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"Well sorry but you are completely wrong. You, as a guy, have denial bias about how guys operate on fab.

As when we did not have any detail on our profile when we were newer to fab single guys still acted in exactly the same way and couples didn’t so your assumption is completely wrong. It’s absolutely nothing to do with the specific guys who message us it’s as we have proven….guys in general……pointless in denying that. "

lol denial bias. You don't want to engage with my point and don't appear to understand selection bias so make that up. As per my post above I am a couple too. You can't have a view on guys in general if they don't message you I feel I am wasting my time on this one so will retire gracefully.

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By *hunky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I so want to comment my honest opinion, but...

You're doing great I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yep, because women get treated so nicely by couples too.

You know they messages us and want a chat with a view to us flying to them and even paying for our own flights while they sit and wait.

Couples treat single women like they are gold. Honest!

I'll stoke your hair while the Mr gives you a back rub, only if you catch a flight now though and be layed in the front room before 2pm.

See you soon

Mrs "

Now there's an offer I can't refuse!

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Blackpool, Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

I think the discussion does highlight an important point, but at the same time maybe doesn't help resolve the issue. Both sides of the discussion are probably equally valid.

It's probably valid to suggest that many of the "nice" or respectful guys will have read a profile and not messaged - but of course there are no stats to show what didn't happen so we can't know for sure. It could be that for every "bad" message a couple receives, one, five or twn men have read the profile and not messaged.

On the other side of the coin, that's of little comfort to those women and couples who receive messages, which possibly do give a skewed impression of how all guys behave, because the majority come from those who haven't read or respected what they're looking for on their profile.

Is there a way to improve that? Short of the "bad" guys improving their ways, I'm not sure there is.

I wonder if some guys send deliberately provocative messages because any reply at all is an interaction, even if it's a blunt one, and that counts as a win?

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

That behaviour really sucks. Surely such behaviour is a red flag anyways and lead you to avoid/block them.

I must admit as a single my experience of couples although limited (mainly interacting with single women) it was genuinely positive. Most I got chatting to and/or met were chatty, freindly and respectful. No expectations of me that were unreasonable or totally one sided. I generally felt liked and treated with respect with regards my own needs to and had a few drinks bought for me too. To be fair if i didn't feel this then it'd be game over anyways from me. But maybe that to do with the couples I chose to message. I would chose carefully the profiles I thought sound like the sort of decent people I'd like to meet.

Although I did encounter some of the show us your face but we won't ours or those that just expected you at the drop of a hat (not possible for me as a single parent) online. But these sort of red flags are not for me and I would simply move on.

Mr

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By *ORBCouple
over a year ago

Dundalk

We have had this profile approx 18 months and in an that time have had somewhere in the region of 30-40 messages in total.

Many of those have ignored what is written in our bio including the very first line.

In both our singles profiles we have had unsavoury and idiotic messages from couples that completely ignore every preference and proceed to tell us how we should be doing things.

We have both been told that we need to explore our bisexuality despite the fact we are both completely straight.

Neither of us will ever meet a couple as singles due to a complete lack of respect and too much entitlement.

As a couple we will never treat anyone the way we have been treated by others and we expect mutual respect first and foremost.

RB

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We treat everyone the same.

We delete messages which display cock pics/action shots/blank avatars and people who send one liners or are rude.

It is mainly guys who do the above but we’d also delete any couples or women who done the same.

In an ideal world, we’d only get like minded people messaging us who have made an effort in their profile but we don’t so that’s why we resort to deleting people who haven’t bothered.

K

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

I enjoy respectful single men, ones that treat me not like just a hole to fuck. And ones who read my profile.

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By *atch1982Man
over a year ago

Abingdon


"On one hand, everyone deserves respect

On the other, many guys operate on here as if they deserve no respect. Willing to do or say anything for even a hint of pussy.

Maybe if single guys raised their standards a bit and acted like they’re worth something, others would respect them more.

Not excusing anyone being abusive or nasty, that’s never excusable

But every woman, or guy that’s been part of a couple, will tell you that many single guys (not all for those that need to hear it) operate in a way that doesn’t shine them in the best light "

Yeah this rings true. Sadly, nice guys finish last a lot of the time, but you gotta keep your standards high gentlemen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you stop caring about how other people behave towards you, life goes a lot easier.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Everyone deserves a little respect don’t you think?"

Yes.


"Single guys serve a purpose on fab and are so themes treated like meat."

Whereas you think women aren't? A single guy messaged me yesterday, first message, and just asked "what's on offer?". He didn't even say hello.

Is that the sort of respect you're talking about?

I can tell you, I felt absolutely seen as a person and respected. Not.

I'd bet I've had far more disrespect from single men than you've had from couples.


"Couples expecting the world but giving nothing back."

Really? Nothing? They invite you into their established relationship and I expect you get sex out of it.

What are you bringing to the table? Besides a penis (which aren't rare round here).

Most couples already have a penis available to them. Of course they expect you to make an effort to demonstrate why they should want yours.


"Also I don’t see why guys should be expected to send face pics if you aren’t prepared to return?"

They probably will send face pics back, if they're interested. Otherwise, what's the point? Would seeing who you won't be fucking help?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This will be an unpopular opinion according to men on here but this is the reality of fab….

After being on here 18 months we can tell you that guys behave horrendously compared to couples on here.

95% of those who message us have clearly not read our profile. They message with the intention of having sex with mrs but can’t be arsed to read our profile first…..where’s the respect given to us? Why would you get anything but an abrupt reply if you (men) can’t read a profile before messaging?

Clearly all men are not like this but the VAST MAJORITY are…..hence the treatment.

Instead of having a go at couples that have to put up with this from guys maybe have a go at your fellow men and persuade maybe just a few to change their approach.

PS : just to let you know an articulate message from someone who has clearly read our profile will get an appropriate response.

I think you mean the VAST MAJORITY of men who message you. The VAST MAJORITY of men will not message you as they ready your profile and realise you are not compatible so you have no idea how they behave. I only message people where I think there is a reason to message - this could be 1 out of 100 profiles I might browse. I actually think a huge chunk of the men here are not too different from me but we are the relatively silent polite bunch (with regarding to messaging at least) but people base opinions on the noisy majority who scattergun poor messages. It is understandable of course and doesn't make the experience any less annoying I know. Its like going to a pub or a club and basing your opinions of every man there on the few who come up to you with cheesy chat up lines or are generally d*unk twats. "

How can you make assumptions about the guys who DON'T message? There's no evidence to support your assertion that the VAST MAJORITY of single men are respectful. Because they're silent? Why would they be here and NOT message people? It's not logical to make judgements about invisible action. Based on what the VAST MAJORITY of couples and single women on the forum say AND the statuses that can be viewed, a LOT of single men here aren't respectful.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Unfortunately the majority of guys on here ruin it for the few decent ones , I have regulars on here couples and single females . The majority of messages that they receive leaves them needing bleach for their eyes , more so the single ladies .

Then to make matters worse when rejected or not answered the abuse start's which can be horrific and very personal . It’s constant for them . This site attracts the worst that the male gender has to offer so can you really blame them ?

I call it fab message fatigue

This message comes across as butt hurt frustration and after looking at your prof I get it as you haven’t had a meet in the last ten months , is it possible that says more about you and your style of messaging than the people you message ? …. Possibly

What I do know is that you haven’t done yourself any favours with this post as the only moaning that’s appreciated happens in bed when naked .

No one on here owes you anything , you need to make peace with that

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This will be an unpopular opinion according to men on here but this is the reality of fab….

After being on here 18 months we can tell you that guys behave horrendously compared to couples on here.

95% of those who message us have clearly not read our profile. They message with the intention of having sex with mrs but can’t be arsed to read our profile first…..where’s the respect given to us? Why would you get anything but an abrupt reply if you (men) can’t read a profile before messaging?

Clearly all men are not like this but the VAST MAJORITY are…..hence the treatment.

Instead of having a go at couples that have to put up with this from guys maybe have a go at your fellow men and persuade maybe just a few to change their approach.

PS : just to let you know an articulate message from someone who has clearly read our profile will get an appropriate response.

I think you mean the VAST MAJORITY of men who message you. The VAST MAJORITY of men will not message you as they ready your profile and realise you are not compatible so you have no idea how they behave. I only message people where I think there is a reason to message - this could be 1 out of 100 profiles I might browse. I actually think a huge chunk of the men here are not too different from me but we are the relatively silent polite bunch (with regarding to messaging at least) but people base opinions on the noisy majority who scattergun poor messages. It is understandable of course and doesn't make the experience any less annoying I know. Its like going to a pub or a club and basing your opinions of every man there on the few who come up to you with cheesy chat up lines or are generally d*unk twats.

How can you make assumptions about the guys who DON'T message? There's no evidence to support your assertion that the VAST MAJORITY of single men are respectful. Because they're silent? Why would they be here and NOT message people? It's not logical to make judgements about invisible action. Based on what the VAST MAJORITY of couples and single women on the forum say AND the statuses that can be viewed, a LOT of single men here aren't respectful."

NOT ALL MEN before anyone jumps on me (and fwiw I've had lots of nice messages. They're just the minority.)

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By *outhern man.Man
over a year ago

Weymouth

Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's everything from great .. to awful on here , right across the spectrum.. men women .. couples etc..

If I'm unfortunate enough to encounter the latter, it's not worth arguing . Just move on.

There's no stereotypes

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"fwiw I've had lots of nice messages. They're just the minority."

Even the nice messages I get are mostly from men who haven't read my profile and aren't what I'm looking for.

I see that as a different type of rudeness.

They didn't read my profile and don't match what I say I'm looking for, but they claim *I* am rude if I don't spend my limited time replying to them, kindly.

A good chunk of the messages currently in my mailbox, from men expecting a reply "because it's polite", are outside my stated age range (by more than a decade in some cases). So without reading their profiles, I already know they ignored my criteria.

The fact their words were polite doesn't change that they're wasting my time and declaring my criteria don't matter to them, by writing at all.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem."

What age thing? You mean preferences?

We aren't all on here for the one thing and I've no intention of meeting anyone close to my kids ages so I have everyone outside my age filters blocked for that reason and fully respect anyone else's preference too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/01/24 16:22:50]

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem."

Because we all have, and are entitled to have, different preferences.

Even if we were all on here looking for sex, (which we aren't), we wouldn't be "looking for the same thing".

Thinking having a functional penis should get you an open invite to any pussy you like, is a very entitled attitude. It's also a huge turn-off.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem."

People are entitled to want what they want.

If you're not what they want, that's the problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"fwiw I've had lots of nice messages. They're just the minority.

Even the nice messages I get are mostly from men who haven't read my profile and aren't what I'm looking for.

I see that as a different type of rudeness.

They didn't read my profile and don't match what I say I'm looking for, but they claim *I* am rude if I don't spend my limited time replying to them, kindly.

A good chunk of the messages currently in my mailbox, from men expecting a reply "because it's polite", are outside my stated age range (by more than a decade in some cases). So without reading their profiles, I already know they ignored my criteria.

The fact their words were polite doesn't change that they're wasting my time and declaring my criteria don't matter to them, by writing at all."

Yes, absolutely. My profile says no married men so even if a married man sends me a nice message - he's still being rude. Single men, of course, aren't the only people who can be rude though. They're just the subject of the thread.

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By *outhern man.Man
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem.

People are entitled to want what they want.

If you're not what they want, that's the problem."

bit like getting blocked for having a say.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem.

People are entitled to want what they want.

If you're not what they want, that's the problem.bit like getting blocked for having a say."

People can also block for any reason they want. Hope this helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t this supposed to be fun?

Seems for a fair few it’s full of angst and mither!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem."

Okay mate, you fancy shagging 99 year old Barbara? No? What’s the problem, her minge still works?

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Mr here, I've been both involved in the lifestyle as a single guy and now having met my gorgeous girl as a couple.

Quite frankly I met multiple couples and a fair number of lovely ladies alone, never sent cock shots and spoke to all as I'd like to be spoken to. Hence my experience in my eyes was a positive one..

Since we joined Fab mutually I have been stunned by the behaviour of some. We blocked single guy's simply because the approach of many seemed to suggest Y was not getting what she needed, would sleep with any guy with a pulse and should be grateful!!

Hasten to add we have quite a number of single guy's as friends who didn't adopt that approach, but unfortunately it takes only a handful to spoil it for the rest, and we can't be arsed with the filtering..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem.

Okay mate, you fancy shagging 99 year old Barbara? No? What’s the problem, her minge still works?"

Do you have Barbara's details? Please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem.

Okay mate, you fancy shagging 99 year old Barbara? No? What’s the problem, her minge still works?

Do you have Barbara's details? Please "

Yeah lemme just go ask the receptionist at the care home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/01/24 16:59:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As mentioned theres oodles of guys on here.

Women and couples must get endless messages so only human for them to get annoyed.. especially if they get nasty needy or abusive messages,.. or people not reading profiles.

I've been guilty lt of not seeing a sentence "not meeting" in the text of a profile and got a snotty reply... I just left it. Waste of energy and time and bad manners arguing.

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By *uckowskiMan
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem.

Okay mate, you fancy shagging 99 year old Barbara? No? What’s the problem, her minge still works?

Do you have Barbara's details? Please

Yeah lemme just go ask the receptionist at the care home "

Could you also do me a solid and ask the reptionist if she's seeing anyone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem.

Okay mate, you fancy shagging 99 year old Barbara? No? What’s the problem, her minge still works?

Do you have Barbara's details? Please

Yeah lemme just go ask the receptionist at the care home

Could you also do me a solid and ask the reptionist if she's seeing anyone? "

She’s married hun, soz

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By *uckowskiMan
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem.

Okay mate, you fancy shagging 99 year old Barbara? No? What’s the problem, her minge still works?

Do you have Barbara's details? Please

Yeah lemme just go ask the receptionist at the care home

Could you also do me a solid and ask the reptionist if she's seeing anyone?

She’s married hun, soz "

Aaw jeez Louise! I had such a good feeling about that one!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Yes, absolutely. My profile says no married men so even if a married man sends me a nice message - he's still being rude. Single men, of course, aren't the only people who can be rude though. They're just the subject of the thread. "

Mine says no cheaters in multiple places. I still get messages from married men. They usually say they're married, "in case that's a problem for me".

Why can't they just read my profile and respect it's a problem for me, without expecting more of my time and attention?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, absolutely. My profile says no married men so even if a married man sends me a nice message - he's still being rude. Single men, of course, aren't the only people who can be rude though. They're just the subject of the thread.

Mine says no cheaters in multiple places. I still get messages from married men. They usually say they're married, "in case that's a problem for me".

Why can't they just read my profile and respect it's a problem for me, without expecting more of my time and attention?"

Maybe they aren’t cheating?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"bit like getting blocked for having a say."

No, not really. But I've blocked you for complaining about other people, (women though, really, is who you are complaining about), having preferences and I won't be the only one.

Entitlement isn't a good look.

If you're outside someone's age preferences, you are. Get over it. Concentrate on the people whose preferences you match.

Loads of men aren't interested in me since I hit 40 and more since I reached 50, and even more as soon as they read I'm overweight.

Yeah, it sucks when guys I think are hot aren't into me, but I know there's more than wanting sex with someone than whether they have working genitals.

(Most) women don't like being regarded as a hole to be fucked, so perhaps start thinking of yourself as more than a dick trying to find an available hole?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Yes, absolutely. My profile says no married men so even if a married man sends me a nice message - he's still being rude. Single men, of course, aren't the only people who can be rude though. They're just the subject of the thread.

Mine says no cheaters in multiple places. I still get messages from married men. They usually say they're married, "in case that's a problem for me".

Why can't they just read my profile and respect it's a problem for me, without expecting more of my time and attention?

Maybe they aren’t cheating? "

Well the ones who aren't usually say, "I'm married but my wife knows/is also on here".

The ones who say "in case it's a problem" usually know full well it's a problem, because they are cheating, but are trying it on anyway.

My profile is absolutely clear it's cheating I have an issue with, not being married.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, absolutely. My profile says no married men so even if a married man sends me a nice message - he's still being rude. Single men, of course, aren't the only people who can be rude though. They're just the subject of the thread.

Mine says no cheaters in multiple places. I still get messages from married men. They usually say they're married, "in case that's a problem for me".

Why can't they just read my profile and respect it's a problem for me, without expecting more of my time and attention?

Maybe they aren’t cheating?

Well the ones who aren't usually say, "I'm married but my wife knows/is also on here".

The ones who say "in case it's a problem" usually know full well it's a problem, because they are cheating, but are trying it on anyway.

My profile is absolutely clear it's cheating I have an issue with, not being married."

So just assuming then? Fair enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem."

Is the age thing is your gripe, why aren’t you looking for anyone over the age of 70?

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

Ffs are single guys still posting this shit?

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By *luerooMan
over a year ago

Bridgwater

i dont get many messages on this site, but the people who do message have never beeen anything but polite and curteous

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem."

Why have you set your upper age to 70? What’s wrong with older?

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem."

Not exactly, no.

I’m here to meet men within my preferred age range, who are mutually looking to meet woman in my age.

We are not all here for one thing and that’s the beauty of this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, absolutely. My profile says no married men so even if a married man sends me a nice message - he's still being rude. Single men, of course, aren't the only people who can be rude though. They're just the subject of the thread.

Mine says no cheaters in multiple places. I still get messages from married men. They usually say they're married, "in case that's a problem for me".

Why can't they just read my profile and respect it's a problem for me, without expecting more of my time and attention?"

I guess people hope they will be the exception. Maybe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"This thread "

Do you expect differently?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread

Do you expect differently? "

No. I didn’t hope for different either. That’s why I stayed out

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By *anJenny 181Couple
over a year ago

Preston

We like to be horrible to everyone that way we don't offend individual groups

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m confused. Am I on a new thread, or have I opened an old thread? I can’t tell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you not get the chance to feeeeeeeeeel the world around you?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I guess people hope they will be the exception. Maybe. "

They won't.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Yes, absolutely. My profile says no married men so even if a married man sends me a nice message - he's still being rude. Single men, of course, aren't the only people who can be rude though. They're just the subject of the thread.

Mine says no cheaters in multiple places. I still get messages from married men. They usually say they're married, "in case that's a problem for me".

Why can't they just read my profile and respect it's a problem for me, without expecting more of my time and attention?

I guess people hope they will be the exception. Maybe. "

Yeah, to me that's still disrespect.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Yes, absolutely. My profile says no married men so even if a married man sends me a nice message - he's still being rude. Single men, of course, aren't the only people who can be rude though. They're just the subject of the thread.

Mine says no cheaters in multiple places. I still get messages from married men. They usually say they're married, "in case that's a problem for me".

Why can't they just read my profile and respect it's a problem for me, without expecting more of my time and attention?

Maybe they aren’t cheating?

Well the ones who aren't usually say, "I'm married but my wife knows/is also on here".

The ones who say "in case it's a problem" usually know full well it's a problem, because they are cheating, but are trying it on anyway.

My profile is absolutely clear it's cheating I have an issue with, not being married.

So just assuming then? Fair enough "

Yes, if they say they are married and neither their message nor their profile says they aren't cheating, I assume they are.

And every time I've asked, (quite a lot, over the years), I've been right.

Moral? If you're married but NOT cheating? Say so.

And if you're married and are cheating? Don't message people who say "no cheaters" several times in their profiles. They get annoyed.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Yeah, to me that's still disrespect."

It is to me too.

It's suggesting I don't know what I want and/or what they want is more important.

Even if they were the exception, they just ruled themselves out by stomping over my boundaries and preferences.

I'm not getting naked and alone with someone who has just demonstrated they're absolutely happy to ignore me saying "no", if it doesn't suit them.

No is a full sentence and should be respected the first time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah, to me that's still disrespect.

It is to me too.

It's suggesting I don't know what I want and/or what they want is more important.

Even if they were the exception, they just ruled themselves out by stomping over my boundaries and preferences.

I'm not getting naked and alone with someone who has just demonstrated they're absolutely happy to ignore me saying "no", if it doesn't suit them.

No is a full sentence and should be respected the first time."

This!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, if you think men are treated like a piece of meat, try being a woman on here for a day.

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst


"Everyone deserves a little respect don’t you think?

Yes.

Single guys serve a purpose on fab and are so themes treated like meat.

Whereas you think women aren't? A single guy messaged me yesterday, first message, and just asked "what's on offer?". He didn't even say hello.

Is that the sort of respect you're talking about?

I can tell you, I felt absolutely seen as a person and respected. Not.

I'd bet I've had far more disrespect from single men than you've had from couples.

Couples expecting the world but giving nothing back.

Really? Nothing? They invite you into their established relationship and I expect you get sex out of it.

What are you bringing to the table? Besides a penis (which aren't rare round here).

Most couples already have a penis available to them. Of course they expect you to make an effort to demonstrate why they should want yours.

Also I don’t see why guys should be expected to send face pics if you aren’t prepared to return?

They probably will send face pics back, if they're interested. Otherwise, what's the point? Would seeing who you won't be fucking help?"

___

Totally this: "Would seeing who you WON'T be fucking help?"

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst


"Hi I'm a single guy my gripe is the age thing we are all on here for one thing as long as it works what's the problem."

__

No. We are not all here for the same thing. Look at the forums and read profiles and you will see that.

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst


"Yes, absolutely. My profile says no married men so even if a married man sends me a nice message - he's still being rude. Single men, of course, aren't the only people who can be rude though. They're just the subject of the thread.

Mine says no cheaters in multiple places. I still get messages from married men. They usually say they're married, "in case that's a problem for me".

Why can't they just read my profile and respect it's a problem for me, without expecting more of my time and attention?

Maybe they aren’t cheating?

Well the ones who aren't usually say, "I'm married but my wife knows/is also on here".

The ones who say "in case it's a problem" usually know full well it's a problem, because they are cheating, but are trying it on anyway.

My profile is absolutely clear it's cheating I have an issue with, not being married.

So just assuming then? Fair enough "

__

No need to assume. If it's a married man and has read her profile, it's up to him to explain that he's not cheating. If he doesn't explain, either he defers to her to make the logical assumption (a cheater) or assume he's not read her profile. Remember, he's the one messaging to her. Not the other way round.

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"We treat single guys how they treat us on here. Generally, that means with little to no respect. I'm not gonna waste my time being nice to someone who lacks common decency from the first message.

A shame really as single guys are our priority.

When I had filters open I probably treated men (and every other demographic) with more respect than they treated me - I deleted most messages which ranged from demanding to obscene. Being ignored/ a passive no is far better than that nonsense."

Yup. That's what we do. The decent ones who we wouldn't look to meet with get a "thanks for your message however we're not interested" type reply. The non-decent ones, get an unread delete.

I'm not here to send abuse but I'm also not here to show any respect and reply to it either.

We started off trying to be nice to all but the only prizes you win are abuse, threats and harassment from people who can't take no for an answer. It's also why we only do club meets now, have had an amazing time since making these little changes

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