FabSwingers.com forum: Anyone else getting this?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

People crawling out of the woodwork that disappeared, ghosted, canceled etc and are now coming back for another crack at you?

Someone I know has had one who messaged 3 years ago and has now messaged again.

Can you beat that?

Why does this happen?

I personally think they've gone round everyone else and are back at the start again or don't have other options like they did before.

Seems like a new year new try thing going on.

How do you feel when it happens?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check your messages. I’m about to hit you up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Check your messages. I’m about to hit you up.

It better be for a wednesday!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've had people we've met ages ago, around ten years in one case rejoin and ask to reconnect. We don't have a problem with that but we probably won't meet because the moment has passed.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Omg yes!!! All the ones from 2/3 years ago are now coming back into circulation.

I feel like they have a starting point and work their way round.

I have actually started calling them out on it, to see what they say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex comes out 1-2 times a year on a new instagram account to try and contact me

I’ve blocked easily 100 accounts

Luckily blocking and ignoring takes way less effort than reaching out

Rarely do they reach out for good reasons. Being lonely after the holidays is a common one. Maybe her new tinder match flaked. Whatever it is, it’s rarely for altruistic reasons

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It can throw you when you suddenly get a message from someone you last saw 10 years ago. It can be quite nice, though

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

Not that length of time as I've not been on that long but yes. I call it circling back, for whatever reason they stopped bothering, something passed and they want another turn. I find it odd.

I don't mean accounts that left and rejoined either. The ones that had the profile active the entire time.

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

No, that have never happened

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

It's the time of year for sentiment. New year always looks like a change.

Which is a good place to start a conversation for people who are bad at conversation.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Happens a lot to me - people I met once or twice years ago popping up and saying 'hi' like I saw them last week. I got a message the other day on WhatsApp. Didn't recognise the number. Asked who it was and he said we had chatted on Tinder and I had given him my number. I haven't used Tinder in the UK for 3 years!

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By *stwo2023Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Yes but sometimes it works out. It's how we got back in contact a couple of years ago

Evie

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I find that over time you lose contact with people - not because of anything bad but just because life happens. When contact is reopened (by then or me) it is usually pretty good in my experience.

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By *cholarmanMan
over a year ago

Reading

Ironically Ananke I was looking at your profile just this morning thinking about whether I should drop you a line and I realised that I already had done so seven months ago and you had replied. I went to check what had been said but my inbox doesn’t go back that far. I decided NOT to message you as I assumed you had told me I wasn’t your type or similar, when I saw this message on the Forum I thought this is serendipity and I should say hello - so Hello and not all male Fabbers do the recycling thing. Despite the bad reputation, we aren’t all idiots. Adam

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By *hunky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"My ex comes out 1-2 times a year on a new instagram account to try and contact me

I’ve blocked easily 100 accounts

Luckily blocking and ignoring takes way less effort than reaching out

Rarely do they reach out for good reasons. Being lonely after the holidays is a common one. Maybe her new tinder match flaked. Whatever it is, it’s rarely for altruistic reasons "

My ex used to pay attention to me once or twice a year, even when we were living together, so...

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Time marches on, situations change...

...doesnt it just depend on the other persons motivation for wanting to reconnect and if it resonates with where you are and what you want...?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Check your messages. I’m about to hit you up.

It better be for a wednesday!"

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Yes. Has happened to me this week too…

Hhhmmmm

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By *cttMan
over a year ago

hatfield & Cannock

I've just started using my account after a 2 year break but not messaged anyone

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Once you've messaged everyone else on Fab, there's no other option than to start messaging them all again

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Someone messaged me after 5 years saying I just ‘popped up’ on their phone , turned out quite nice !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody from my past has or ever does hit me up for sex and I’m starting to realise I’m probably either a terrible person, bad sex sex or both.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I had someone who used to message me regularly years ago and asked to meet a few times. Distance was an issue so it never happened.

I didn't hear from her for a few months so I got in touch to see how she was doing and got a ranty reply asking who I was and how dare I act so familiar.

She said it was creepy.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

If women aren’t falling over themselves to rip my clothes off after the first message, you’re dead to me. Try again all you like but you’ll be left a sobbing, snotty mess with only ben and Jerry for company.

Harsh but fair.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Nobody from my past has or ever does hit me up for sex and I’m starting to realise I’m probably either a terrible person, bad sex sex or both. "

Pickles I’ve heard you’re a sex god so you must just be a shit bloke

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Nobody from my past has or ever does hit me up for sex and I’m starting to realise I’m probably either a terrible person, bad sex sex or both. "

Both

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By *cholarmanMan
over a year ago

Reading

"Time marches on, situations change...

...doesnt it just depend on the other persons motivation for wanting to reconnect and if it resonates with where you are and what you want...?"

Emily what with me not being 98 it’s kind of hard to message you even if I wanted to. What’s a man to do?

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

OP apologies if I got your point wrong.

There's not an easy way in Fab to track all message threads, so after 1-2 months we can tell who we have messaged to, or who's messaged us, but the actual conversations disappear. My memory is ok but not as good as to remember the conversation. A couple re-messaged us after one month, I pointed out to our previous conversation, he apologised, and both agreed it would be nice to have some easy to track interactions withn other profiles.

Also, In months or years, people change profile photo, pics and text. Even name (not username though). So a person could easily miss that, before messaging to someone for the second time, genuinely thinking it's a profile never approached before.

Also, along years people evolve during their "journey" or whatever cliche they want to use for their swinging preferences. What you like today you may not tomorrow and viceversa. Today a profile is not for you but in 2 years time, who knows? You may receive the same message and look at it from a different perspective.

Also, surprised that your friend would remember this profile after 3 years. Was it so bad or special that your friend would remember?

Hitting someone again after only 1-2 months is not cool. Receiving one message from the same profile after 3 years? Not sure it's that a big hassle. Considering that women receive tons of messages every day from new or repeating profiles, block button is there at hand and then move on, I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Usually when they go, they go.

I don’t have that type of pull on anyone.

Maybe when I’m 60 Sarah from school might get in touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody from my past has or ever does hit me up for sex and I’m starting to realise I’m probably either a terrible person, bad sex sex or both.

Pickles I’ve heard you’re a sex god so you must just be a shit bloke

I think I’m pretty decent in bed so you’re right it must be the shit bloke thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody from my past has or ever does hit me up for sex and I’m starting to realise I’m probably either a terrible person, bad sex sex or both.

Both

"
you wish!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Yeah get it all the time.

“Hi, remember me?”

Er No. I can’t remember what I had for tea so a brief exchange on fab from 2 years ago has no chance!!

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

Not here, but ex girlfriends suddenly msg again

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I’m not sure I’d notice

I don’t pay a lot of attention to the 100s & thousands that I delete without looking at

(Sarcasm)

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Do not be too alarmed OP. This type of behaviour isn't unusual, and it's perfectly acceptable. You see, some women are comparable to the finest of Vintage Ports: they need to be laid down for an extended period until they are mature, improved and fit for consumption.

Coming out of the woodwork is akin to us men visiting the cellar to see if she's ready to uncork/uncock for some liquid gratification. If she's not ready we simply come back after a year or so to assess her suitability, vintage and character.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Do not be too alarmed OP. This type of behaviour isn't unusual, and it's perfectly acceptable. You see, some women are comparable to the finest of Vintage Ports: they need to be laid down for an extended period until they are mature, improved and fit for consumption.

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It happens, it's Fab. Many men on here think with their dicks, and chances are they forgot who they messaged 3 years ago too if it never led to anything. Forget and move on is something I've heard before about dates and relationships that haven't worked out, so I'm sure the same applies to Fab

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yep. Not just from Fab. I've had five exes get in touch recently. Three people I enjoyed a friendship with fucking with.

I don't understand what's happening. But I've come to realise something. Things don't ever really change. And I'm really rather happy with where I am now so I have no desire to have sex with any of them. That sexual attraction has firmly vanished.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep. Not just from Fab. I've had five exes get in touch recently. Three people I enjoyed a friendship with fucking with.

Single 6 years and my theory is at Xmas time single guys get more lonely and more soppy. They reach out to girls who were nice to them in the past, or girls they thought they could get on with but didn’t for some reason (wanted to mess around, life was busy etc). Sometimes they are now in the right place for a relationship and hope you are free - sometimes it’s just because they are lonely, or chatting to you makes them feel ‘nice’. I think it’s hard for people to be single this time of the year when everyone is with family at Xmas and too broke to go out in Jan

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Yes happens often! Find this is where the private note feature is handy x

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"No. Usually when they go, they go.

I don’t have that type of pull on anyone.

Maybe when I’m 60 Sarah from school might get in touch. "

Dude I’m pretty sure that’s illegal….

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I have one guy who messages mecthecsame message every couple of months. Id block him but it amuses me.

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

I was just saying this to my friend today……. Maybe it’s a new year new go kind of mentality

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I quite happily chat with one about the stuff we have chatted about, that he has forgot and see if he comes up with different answers

The rest I delete unread

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've had one message me over 10 years later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had one message me over 10 years later"

He’s been messaging for 20 yrs. wow, you play hard to get.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Yes, I had someone I met a few times 9 years ago get in touch this week. Plus someone else I met who has moved to London.

I wonder if the new year has made them nostalgic?.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Yes it’s happened to me in December A couple that “dropped out” and have now reconnected after 9 months. An old FWB has reached out too.

It’s a good thing. Both occasions, they told me what was going on at the time so I’ve no problem with it.

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By *ornyvirginphxWoman
over a year ago

phoenix

So many ghosts reappearing these last couple of weeks lol. Yesterday was dating app Sunday - supposedly the busiest day of the year for dating apps bc everyone is now resolving to find someone … maybe that’s part of it? I am flattered, but rarely interested in entertaining a second chance for them. You disappeared once, and made your bed, lie in it. :shrug:

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