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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

None of my business but a lot on here don't like it.

I guess if you are upfront about it (note I didn't say honest lol) then people can make an educated choice on wether they want to meet you or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only meet single guys, but saying that. How would I know they weren't married or attached? Not all guys tell the truth. Quite a few lie to get a quickie..

If I was to meet a guy that weren't single, I wouldn't have a repeat that's for sure..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met a lot of lads that have gf's, it doesn't bother me as long as they're honest about it, I hate liars :/

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I only meet single guys, but saying that. How would I know they weren't married or attached? Not all guys tell the truth. Quite a few lie to get a quickie..

If I was to meet a guy that weren't single, I wouldn't have a repeat that's for sure.."

I don't meet in hotels, don't invite anyone into my home that doesn't accommodate, don't do quickies with men I don't know...pretty much rules out married men.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I've met a lot of lads that have gf's, it doesn't bother me as long as they're honest about it, I hate liars :/"

You really don't see the irony of your post do you?

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester


"I've met a lot of lads that have gf's, it doesn't bother me as long as they're honest about it, I hate liars :/

You really don't see the irony of your post do you? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only meet single guys, but saying that. How would I know they weren't married or attached? Not all guys tell the truth. Quite a few lie to get a quickie..

If I was to meet a guy that weren't single, I wouldn't have a repeat that's for sure..

I don't meet in hotels, don't invite anyone into my home that doesn't accommodate, don't do quickies with men I don't know...pretty much rules out married men."

Not really. Few guys I have chatted to (not met) on here that are attached or married, but still accommodate. Yes they were honest enough to tell me they were but they don't tell all. Its none of my business to be honest.

I've never met in a hotel and wouldn't, unless I've met them a few times already. And only met in my home if I've been to theirs.. as for quickies with men you don't know. (I don't do quickies myself) I thought we were all strangers till we get to know each other by chatting??

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I only meet single guys, but saying that. How would I know they weren't married or attached? Not all guys tell the truth. Quite a few lie to get a quickie..

If I was to meet a guy that weren't single, I wouldn't have a repeat that's for sure..

I don't meet in hotels, don't invite anyone into my home that doesn't accommodate, don't do quickies with men I don't know...pretty much rules out married men.

Not really. Few guys I have chatted to (not met) on here that are attached or married, but still accommodate. Yes they were honest enough to tell me they were but they don't tell all. Its none of my business to be honest.

I've never met in a hotel and wouldn't, unless I've met them a few times already. And only met in my home if I've been to theirs.. as for quickies with men you don't know. (I don't do quickies myself) I thought we were all strangers till we get to know each other by chatting??"

Thing is, I don't play "nice".

I use paddles, whips, wax etc. I also like to shave playmates. I think a married man would have trouble explaining the marks on his body and disappearing pubic hair.

I had no qualms about meeting married men initialy, but I'm here for my hedonistic pleasure and married men are not ideal playmates for me. I remember one asking me not to use scented candles, air freshner, perfume etc and have a specific shower gel...bless him trying to dictate to me in my house...nah...married men not playmates for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one meet with a "single guy" but as it turns out was married, as his wife (after suspecting him of cheating) turned up on my doorstep and all holy hell broke loose! I had no idea he was married so it was very upsetting as I'd been deceived as well as her. Also has it was a public display of rage on her part I got labelled with quite a bad reputation for a long while afterwards, so no it's not worth the risk of playin with married/attached guys whether they are honest or not. But I do have morals and if I'd known he was I wouldn't have played with him in the first place. Playing with a married guy as part of a couple fair enough as his wife is there to play too and let's face it that's the original nature of swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would never knowingly play with cheating people, swinging is about openess and honesty theres no place for cheating.

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By *reenonionsMan
over a year ago

Nr Exeter

I don't judge and I think people shouldn't but it's up to the other person to be honest..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its always a hard one as alot of "single" people arent really single, if they are honest about being with someone then you can at least make that choice.

We've found that most cant play when we can so it kinda s them out ( as we only play in the evenings/night) but we would have to think long and hard about it if we knew a guy was married and there would have to be a very good reason for us to even consider it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A problem and even worse when it's someone I know; not only does he try it on via the couples profile but he also has a single profile, none of which she knows about, puts me in a very awkward position

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm a cheat, I'll not live the rest of my life in enforced celibacy nor will I destroy my family and live as a single man in some garret feeling bitter about what might have been. If I play at a club non one asks me if I'm married first. If you don't want to meet a cheat that's fine by me. I'll not set out to lie my way into the arms of a girl who s not interested

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester

In my nativity would it be fair to say a number of so called couple profiles are just a guy and his wife/ partner knows nothing about it.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm a cheat, I'll not live the rest of my life in enforced celibacy nor will I destroy my family and live as a single man in some garret feeling bitter about what might have been. If I play at a club non one asks me if I'm married first. If you don't want to meet a cheat that's fine by me. I'll not set out to lie my way into the arms of a girl who s not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my nativity would it be fair to say a number of so called couple profiles are just a guy and his wife/ partner knows nothing about it. "

depends a small amount are, but generally they are easy to spot ( no veri's, female cant talk on the phone, unwilling to meet ) its all about trusting your gut on these things.

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester


"In my nativity would it be fair to say a number of so called couple profiles are just a guy and his wife/ partner knows nothing about it.

depends a small amount are, but generally they are easy to spot ( no veri's, female cant talk on the phone, unwilling to meet ) its all about trusting your gut on these things."
I'm sure you're right. I have come across guys wanting to break the ice on their own rather than with their partner

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I don't judge and I think people shouldn't but it's up to the other person to be honest..

"

We ALL judge who we play with!

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester


"I don't judge and I think people shouldn't but it's up to the other person to be honest..

We ALL judge who we play with!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on.

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on. "

So true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on.

So true "

NO ONE deserves to be cheated on. If a relationship is over at least show some respect and have the dignity to end it before persuing other avenue's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on. "

you may be right but there is still no place in swinging for cheating.

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester

[Removed by poster at 09/03/13 10:21:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate cheats there disgusting!

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on.

you may be right but there is still no place in swinging for cheating."

Cheating as in, their partner not knowing they swing even though they still love their partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on.

you may be right but there is still no place in swinging for cheating."
i don't think because your a bitch you need to be cheated on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would never knowingly play with a married attached person male or female!

Of course it's up to them if they want to lie and deceit their partner! But we don't want to get involved in it..we don't play at clubs, so that rules out meeting married people unknowingly there, and we only meet others that can accomadate, so hopefully are chances of ever meeting attached people are slim.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on.

So true "

Wow..... Really?????

Guess that Just shows your level of respect for others!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on. "

Is this because the husbands have you told you " my wife doesn't understand me"

No one deserves to be cheated on! In my _iew only cowards cheat as they don't have the balls to be honest with their partner!!

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By *uckknowsMan
over a year ago

here

99.9% of men are cheating on here anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on.

So true

Wow..... Really?????

Guess that Just shows your level of respect for others!!! "

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester


"99.9% of men are cheating on here anyway "

Really? Not sure that's true

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?"

Neither. If there was no obstacle in the way of shagging them (and I fancied them) I would shag them. Usually though they can only meet for 30 mins during the afternoon of the third Thursday after a full moon, so plenty of obstacles there!

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

Not just the guys people, plenty of women cheat too.......and not every thing is black and white, as much as they shouldn't be doing it until we walk in their shoes for a few days I wouldn't judge them, just take the decision weather to meet them or not.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading this got my little grey cells thinking, I wonder if anyone has ever had it where they are attached and they got a profile chat too lots of people but don't display their picture, get chatting to someone decide to swop pictures and it's their partner so their both lying and cheating. If you not happy in a relationship leave and let them find someone who appreciates them and wants them I say but that's my opinion. And if people stay together for their kids or situation then don't coz it doesn't in long run make life any easier.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?"

Neither. It is not for me to judge what they choose to do. If there is a mutual attraction - I'm up for it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First line of my profile married, circumstances

My buisness but at least it's out there fir women to make the informed choice, meet or dont, an d why is it when this subject crops up we talk about married men blah blah. You would be surprised him many married women on here playing away

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester


"After reading this got my little grey cells thinking, I wonder if anyone has ever had it where they are attached and they got a profile chat too lots of people but don't display their picture, get chatting to someone decide to swop pictures and it's their partner so their both lying and cheating. If you not happy in a relationship leave and let them find someone who appreciates them and wants them I say but that's my opinion. And if people stay together for their kids or situation then don't coz it doesn't in long run make life any easier. "

I've never cheated, I'm single now. So can't but in relationships I wouldn't, if I wanted to I'd think there were something wrong..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?"

We wouldn't rush into it as irate partners phoning you up on his or her phone as happened to our friend is a pain. We wouldn't loose sleep though if we found out after a meet someone was attached as its their business not ours.

What I would say though is we would rather meet a polite charming well mannered married person than a arsy egotistical single one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I'm here for NSA.. So I don't want any strings attached to them that will cause upset.

I'm here for my pleasure and not for causing upset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it that you get messages where the person seems really keen, u get chatting and all seems fine, then you hear no more!!! What are we doing wrong lol

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By *tressfreeMan
over a year ago

Towcester


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

We wouldn't rush into it as irate partners phoning you up on his or her phone as happened to our friend is a pain. We wouldn't loose sleep though if we found out after a meet someone was attached as its their business not ours.

What I would say though is we would rather meet a polite charming well mannered married person than a arsy egotistical single one. "

That makes a lot if sense too

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"99.9% of men are cheating on here anyway "

Is that an admission that you're cheating then? Or are you one of the 0.1%?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a cheat, I'll not live the rest of my life in enforced celibacy nor will I destroy my family and live as a single man in some garret feeling bitter about what might have been. If I play at a club non one asks me if I'm married first. If you don't want to meet a cheat that's fine by me. I'll not set out to lie my way into the arms of a girl who s not interested "

So if ur found out to be a cheat will that not destroy and break up your family in a far more bitter way than just ending things amicabally..

Vows are for better or worse, not for better and better for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not just the guys people, plenty of women cheat too.......and not every thing is black and white, as much as they shouldn't be doing it until we walk in their shoes for a few days I wouldn't judge them, just take the decision weather to meet them or not.

A"

We have met with 2 fems who were married, 1 plays with permission and the other behind hubbies back as he doesn't fulfill all her needs. We don't judge we just make a decision on how well we get on, so yes its not just men who do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooooops didnt mean to put what i just put on here lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've met a lot of lads that have gf's, it doesn't bother me as long as they're honest about it, I hate liars :/

You really don't see the irony of your post do you? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a cheat, I'll not live the rest of my life in enforced celibacy nor will I destroy my family and live as a single man in some garret feeling bitter about what might have been. If I play at a club non one asks me if I'm married first. If you don't want to meet a cheat that's fine by me. I'll not set out to lie my way into the arms of a girl who s not interested

So if ur found out to be a cheat will that not destroy and break up your family in a far more bitter way than just ending things amicabally..

Vows are for better or worse, not for better and better for me"

Totally agree with you. The thing is the come back will be " oh i wont ever get caught" Really !!!!!! you think not !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know why everyone is feeling the need to point out that woman cheat too when the OP isn't gender specific :/

If somepeople have mentioned a cheating guy then maybe that person only sleeps with men and therefore has no experience on married females..

A couple of posts have mentioned the married woman they have met but noones then jumping down their neck saying how men cheat to..

Odd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"99.9% of men are cheating on here anyway "

Are we bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?"

Personally i think the one who is being the "cheat" is the one who has a problem.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"I've met a lot of lads that have gf's, it doesn't bother me as long as they're honest about it, I hate liars :/

You really don't see the irony of your post do you? "

I was just thinking the same!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

Personally i think the one who is being the "cheat" is the one who has a problem."

just sometimes though maybe the wife should take a look at herself instead of blaming the cheating hubby.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on.

So true "

No!! If they are that much of a bitch then leave! Honestly some comments on here baffle me.

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Its just asking for trouble, all that is gonna happen is one day you will be called to court to testify that you didnt take speeding points on your licence for him/her.

Is it worth it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I guess I started the post to get a general response to how people feel about cheating on here.

Very mixed replies.

I personally am a cheat, I'm not proud of it but its not because I or she has any problems. We tried swinging before, it wasn't her thing. She couldn't bare the thought of seeing me with another woman. I tried to reassure her, that others would just be sex and thrills, she would always come first and be the one woman I made love to.

I'm not looking for a way out or for something I'm lacking, I'm just intrested in this scene.

If I get caught out, ill tell her how I feel, til then I don't see the point causing tension.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

Personally i think the one who is being the "cheat" is the one who has a problem.

just sometimes though maybe the wife should take a look at herself instead of blaming the cheating hubby."

Then it still stands of why would the guy wanna be with her then! Leave..

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

Personally i think the one who is being the "cheat" is the one who has a problem.

just sometimes though maybe the wife should take a look at herself instead of blaming the cheating hubby."

Or maybe the woman meeting the cheating hubby shouldn't necessarily believe his 'oh, woe is me, my wife's such a bitch' spiel that he's probably spinning to get his leg over!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on. "

Some women are right bitches, agreed. How that correlates with being cheated on escapes me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

Personally i think the one who is being the "cheat" is the one who has a problem.

just sometimes though maybe the wife should take a look at herself instead of blaming the cheating hubby."

People are responsible for their own actions. They aren't forced or told to do it by their partners. Its a decesion they make themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess I started the post to get a general response to how people feel about cheating on here.

Very mixed replies.

I personally am a cheat, I'm not proud of it but its not because I or she has any problems. We tried swinging before, it wasn't her thing. She couldn't bare the thought of seeing me with another woman. I tried to reassure her, that others would just be sex and thrills, she would always come first and be the one woman I made love to.

I'm not looking for a way out or for something I'm lacking, I'm just intrested in this scene.

If I get caught out, ill tell her how I feel, til then I don't see the point causing tension."

And by the time ur caught out u will have destroyed the woman u claim to love.. Tell her now! Then choose which is more important to u, her or the swinging scene

U can't have ur cake and eat it!

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool


"I guess I started the post to get a general response to how people feel about cheating on here.

Very mixed replies.

I personally am a cheat, I'm not proud of it but its not because I or she has any problems. We tried swinging before, it wasn't her thing. She couldn't bare the thought of seeing me with another woman. I tried to reassure her, that others would just be sex and thrills, she would always come first and be the one woman I made love to.

I'm not looking for a way out or for something I'm lacking, I'm just intrested in this scene.

If I get caught out, ill tell her how I feel, til then I don't see the point causing tension."

Oh dear, Im not judging, just dont get you at all. You say you love your wife to bits, .... if she finds out, the hurt will destroy her, she will never never trust you again and your relationship will never ever be the same.

Im speaking from experience.

You are not cheating because of a need for sex that you are not getting at home. So therefore she will see it purely as her fault.

Please dont see this as judgemental, its just my _iew of your situation.

I wish you good luck . x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I guess I started the post to get a general response to how people feel about cheating on here.

Very mixed replies.

I personally am a cheat, I'm not proud of it but its not because I or she has any problems. We tried swinging before, it wasn't her thing. She couldn't bare the thought of seeing me with another woman. I tried to reassure her, that others would just be sex and thrills, she would always come first and be the one woman I made love to.

I'm not looking for a way out or for something I'm lacking, I'm just intrested in this scene.

If I get caught out, ill tell her how I feel, til then I don't see the point causing tension.

And by the time ur caught out u will have destroyed the woman u claim to love.. Tell her now! Then choose which is more important to u, her or the swinging scene

U can't have ur cake and eat it!"

Personally I don't think anyone has the right to dictate how others live their lives; we each take responsibility for our own actions.

All I ask is married men respect my wishes not to meet them and recognise I'm not their wives, I don't find their bullshit endearing, won't change my mind so leave me alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

Personally i think the one who is being the "cheat" is the one who has a problem.

just sometimes though maybe the wife should take a look at herself instead of blaming the cheating hubby.

Or maybe the woman meeting the cheating hubby shouldn't necessarily believe his 'oh, woe is me, my wife's such a bitch' spiel that he's probably spinning to get his leg over! "

i meet men who i think are suitable for me, they dont usually even mention their wives, i am not interested either.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"I guess I started the post to get a general response to how people feel about cheating on here.

Very mixed replies.

I personally am a cheat, I'm not proud of it but its not because I or she has any problems. We tried swinging before, it wasn't her thing. She couldn't bare the thought of seeing me with another woman. I tried to reassure her, that others would just be sex and thrills, she would always come first and be the one woman I made love to.

I'm not looking for a way out or for something I'm lacking, I'm just intrested in this scene.

If I get caught out, ill tell her how I feel, til then I don't see the point causing tension."

This can only end badly I fear, agree with the others that if she didn't want to swing because she couldn't bear the thought of you being with other woman then when she finds out you've carried on behind her back the damage will be irreparable and the woman you love so much won't want to be with you any more. I'd have a serious think if its worth losing her over?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess I started the post to get a general response to how people feel about cheating on here.

Very mixed replies.

I personally am a cheat, I'm not proud of it but its not because I or she has any problems. We tried swinging before, it wasn't her thing. She couldn't bare the thought of seeing me with another woman. I tried to reassure her, that others would just be sex and thrills, she would always come first and be the one woman I made love to.

I'm not looking for a way out or for something I'm lacking, I'm just intrested in this scene.

If I get caught out, ill tell her how I feel, til then I don't see the point causing tension."

So there is nothing lacking in your relationship your totally happy togther. I was of the understanding that "swinging" was something that was ventured into by couples as a couple. Well that's where it originally started. Nowadays its just a mask. What's more important to you? Your relationship which has no problems, which isnt lacking in any way or, getting your rocks off elsewhere.

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

To be fair, I dont think the guy needs a lecture. I just think he needs to realise what is really at risk, sometimes people think that the other half can be persuaded / encouraged into swinging. It doesnt usually happen. I would imagine it would drive a massive wedge between couples, especially when he has tried in the past to encourage her into it, therefore knows her feelings on it.

At the most I would urge the OP to re-think his actions. At the least, remove his face pics etc so that while he thinks , he is not recognised by someone who blows his world apart x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess I started the post to get a general response to how people feel about cheating on here.

Very mixed replies.

I personally am a cheat, I'm not proud of it but its not because I or she has any problems. We tried swinging before, it wasn't her thing. She couldn't bare the thought of seeing me with another woman. I tried to reassure her, that others would just be sex and thrills, she would always come first and be the one woman I made love to.

I'm not looking for a way out or for something I'm lacking, I'm just intrested in this scene.

If I get caught out, ill tell her how I feel, til then I don't see the point causing tension.

And by the time ur caught out u will have destroyed the woman u claim to love.. Tell her now! Then choose which is more important to u, her or the swinging scene

U can't have ur cake and eat it!

Personally I don't think anyone has the right to dictate how others live their lives; we each take responsibility for our own actions.

All I ask is married men respect my wishes not to meet them and recognise I'm not their wives, I don't find their bullshit endearing, won't change my mind so leave me alone."

Totally agree and if my actions of going with a cheat will lead upset for someone else then I'm not doing it!

I'm not selfish enough to hurt others

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I see your points. Yes my relationship is very important to me, but in the same breath its my life and ill only get one so I'd like to do the things I want. I know the response will be leave her, but I do think the world of her.

I'd love to just talk to her about how I feel but I really don't think shed accept it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The thing is she knows I'm on here, she is absolutely fine with me going with men, its just women she has a problem with. She knows I could never have feelings for a guy, but she doesn't understand whilst she is my woman I couldn't have feelings for anyone else, period.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some women are right bitches who realy quite deserve to be cheated on.

you may be right but there is still no place in swinging for cheating.

Cheating as in, their partner not knowing they swing even though they still love their partner. "

yes thats cheating and its nothing to do with swinging, also i said maybe they were right with the bitch comment i did not agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

Personally i think the one who is being the "cheat" is the one who has a problem.

just sometimes though maybe the wife should take a look at herself instead of blaming the cheating hubby."

Good God! I cannot believe you really believe that. Absolutely appalling comment - you are clearly a woman who's never been betrayed, had your trust ruined and your confidence shattered by a man who has cheated.

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool


"The thing is she knows I'm on here, she is absolutely fine with me going with men, its just women she has a problem with. She knows I could never have feelings for a guy, but she doesn't understand whilst she is my woman I couldn't have feelings for anyone else, period."

Your profile clearly states she DOESNT know you are on here. ????

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I set it up differently in front of her and gradually changed it.

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool


"I set it up differently in front of her and gradually changed it."

In a week? you have only been on here a week!

I smell a rat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

Personally i think the one who is being the "cheat" is the one who has a problem.

just sometimes though maybe the wife should take a look at herself instead of blaming the cheating hubby.

Good God! I cannot believe you really believe that. Absolutely appalling comment - you are clearly a woman who's never been betrayed, had your trust ruined and your confidence shattered by a man who has cheated. "

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"The thing is she knows I'm on here, she is absolutely fine with me going with men, its just women she has a problem with. She knows I could never have feelings for a guy, but she doesn't understand whilst she is my woman I couldn't have feelings for anyone else, period.

Your profile clearly states she DOESNT know you are on here. ????"

You expect him to be honest and consistent?!!

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool


"The thing is she knows I'm on here, she is absolutely fine with me going with men, its just women she has a problem with. She knows I could never have feelings for a guy, but she doesn't understand whilst she is my woman I couldn't have feelings for anyone else, period.

Your profile clearly states she DOESNT know you are on here. ????

You expect him to be honest and consistent?!! "

Im obviously too trusting, bit like his wife !

My whole _iew of the discussion changed in his last 2 posts.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Your original post said she doesn't know your here, now she does? Have you told her since the early hours??

Regardless, if you think you only have one life and are missing out then tell her or leave and let her continue her one life not being lied to or to find someone else who isn't gonna play around behind her back? How would you feel if she had an affair?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The op wasn't necessarily about me, it was just a general scenario to see reactions.

Depends on the nature of the affair, if it was purely a sexual thing then id be fine with it, as long as she was safe. But if was more emotional.. yeah that would hurt, I'd either have to step up my game or step off. Ain't really thought about it.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

99.9%

is that just the 'single guys' on here or does that include the males of the couples ... and what percentage of them do you think cheat

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"The op wasn't necessarily about me, it was just a general scenario to see reactions.

Depends on the nature of the affair, if it was purely a sexual thing then id be fine with it, as long as she was safe. But if was more emotional.. yeah that would hurt, I'd either have to step up my game or step off. Ain't really thought about it."

Your profile says she doesn't know either. If she doesn't mind you meeting men then why not just meet men and just sleep with her not other woman? That way you get to enjoy your bi side, still have a bit of fun and don't run the risk of upsetting her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I'd either have to step up my game or step off. "

An affair is nothing to do with the other person needing to step their game up. My ex had a 2 year affair and the only thing that changed was my working hours. If he hadn't been fucking her behind my back we would have had time to see each other and do things. The icing on the cake for me was him ruining a day out to "go and watch the football" I left him a few days later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to be honest if a woman was married I wouldn't care if I fancied her and she was up for it. Not my fault if her partner cant keep her happy is it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I kinda lost intrest in men, I think it was more of a growing up phase and doing something deemed naughty. Also I got very tired very quick of the constant messages from guys I had ignored or told I wasn't intrested. Now I know how you ladies feel.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" I'd either have to step up my game or step off.

An affair is nothing to do with the other person needing to step their game up. My ex had a 2 year affair and the only thing that changed was my working hours. If he hadn't been fucking her behind my back we would have had time to see each other and do things. The icing on the cake for me was him ruining a day out to "go and watch the football" I left him a few days later. "

Sorry to hear that. Well if it was something I was doing wrong or not.doing enough of, I'd step up. If she fell for someone else, I'd be gutted but would just have to wish her the best and let her know I'd be there if she needed anything.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Got to be honest if a woman was married I wouldn't care if I fancied her and she was up for it. Not my fault if her partner cant keep her happy is it. "

If that's how you think, when you meet couples do you also assume you're there because the husband can't satisfy his wife alone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I'd either have to step up my game or step off.

An affair is nothing to do with the other person needing to step their game up. My ex had a 2 year affair and the only thing that changed was my working hours. If he hadn't been fucking her behind my back we would have had time to see each other and do things. The icing on the cake for me was him ruining a day out to "go and watch the football" I left him a few days later.

Sorry to hear that. Well if it was something I was doing wrong or not.doing enough of, I'd step up. If she fell for someone else, I'd be gutted but would just have to wish her the best and let her know I'd be there if she needed anything."

This is the point I'm making - it wasn't my short falling that broke our relationship, it was his inability to keep his cock in his pants. It wasn't that I wasn't a supportive girlfriend, it was that he was a twat who was flattered by a 21 year old throwing herself at him and was too cowardly to sort the situation in the way he should have done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?

Personally i think the one who is being the "cheat" is the one who has a problem.

just sometimes though maybe the wife should take a look at herself instead of blaming the cheating hubby.

Good God! I cannot believe you really believe that. Absolutely appalling comment - you are clearly a woman who's never been betrayed, had your trust ruined and your confidence shattered by a man who has cheated. "

Luckily she'll meet people no matter what their circumstance because if she were in a relationship no doubt she'd get cheated on, being a bitch and all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see your points. Yes my relationship is very important to me, but in the same breath its my life and ill only get one so I'd like to do the things I want. I know the response will be leave her, but I do think the world of her.

I'd love to just talk to her about how I feel but I really don't think shed accept it."

That seems rather selfish. Surely in a relationship that is important to you then you wouldn't go out of your way to hurt to lie and potentially hurt someone that you think the world of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is cheating on your partner, by finding your kicks through swinging, and then there is cheating by not being honest about your true status to those you meet as a swinger.

If someone is married or in a partnership, and makes that clear from the off, then you have the opportunity to make an adult decision whether you are going to have anything to do with them or not.

If, on the other hand, they are cheating on their partner AND not declaring that in their profile or before arranging a meet, then I certainly would not have anything to do with them, and it goes against everything I have believed about about the honesty inherent in the lifestyle.

But it doesn't just happen in swinging, as we all know. The same people do the same whether it's meeting someone in a bar, a dating site etc etc.

There is something fundamentally wrong with their need to deceive.... well, to me there is anyway...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It is selfish but as we all know relationships come and go, people fall in love and fall out of love, the only consistent thing in my life will always me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is selfish but as we all know relationships come and go, people fall in love and fall out of love, the only consistent thing in my life will always me."

sounds to me like you need to look at your relationship before complicating things and hurting your girlfriend by cheating on her. That would be the unselfish thing to do...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've met a lot of lads that have gf's, it doesn't bother me as long as they're honest about it, I hate liars :/"

This for me. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Anyway thank you everyone for your inputs, I posted here because I'm truly at a struggle with myself. I want to tell her and her to accept it and possibly join in, but I'm just worried shell say no and it cause tension. I know I'm taking the cowards route out... And putting all this into words has made me feel guilty.... I have to try talk to her at least.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"I've met a lot of lads that have gf's, it doesn't bother me as long as they're honest about it, I hate liars :/

This for me. Xx "

They are liars tho! Lol. Just not lying to you.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"Anyway thank you everyone for your inputs, I posted here because I'm truly at a struggle with myself. I want to tell her and her to accept it and possibly join in, but I'm just worried shell say no and it cause tension. I know I'm taking the cowards route out... And putting all this into words has made me feel guilty.... I have to try talk to her at least."

I think your right. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never knowingly play with someone else's partner - partly because I'd hate it to be done to me but mainly (and possibly very selfishly) I don't want the grief when the cheat is discovered. I also don't want to end up being named in someone else's divorce. I'm on here for fun not agro!

And the comments about women who 'deserve' to be cheated on...seriously! No one deserves to be deceived by their other half regardless of how much of a 'bitch' they may be. Why marry someone you have no respect for?

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By *e nicerWoman
over a year ago

Costa del Medway

had a message on here from someone who is a friend of mine.

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By *e nicerWoman
over a year ago

Costa del Medway

errr not mine as in partner, as in vanilla friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

And the comments about women who 'deserve' to be cheated on...seriously! No one deserves to be deceived by their other half regardless of how much of a 'bitch' they may be. Why marry someone you have no respect for? "

Plus there's just as many bastards as there are bitches, assuming they deserve it too in that case?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also I might add, if your partner doesn't know as you state on your profile and you 'love her to pieces', why have face pics? If someone who knew you both saw your profile you're bound to cause maximum embarrassment to her so well done there

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Cheating? Cheating! Guess I dislike that word more than anything on this site because it is invariably used by some to point fingers at others and to judge them for what they believe they are doing.

Point 1 : We never know the whole story of a relationship.

Point 2 : If we did, we still would not be able to know what it feels like to be that person.

Point 3 : I dont see the need to judge others for what they are doing (mainly because of point 1 and 2)

Point 4 : It is not my business what others do.

Point 5 : I have a choice to meet/ or not to meet people who are in a relationship. Nobody forces me.

Point 6 : I do not wish/ intend to upset anybody directly or indirectly by the above statements - I am coming from a general perspective.

Point 7 : "Cheating" is by definition a word with negative connotations in the swinging world. That is why I dislike it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it is selfish to have sex with a bloke who is married but we are all selfish in one way or another.

just because my partner hasnt cheated on me, that i know of doesnt mean i dont know what it would feel like either.

doesnt mean to say i have to feel sorry for everyone who its happened too.

these things happen and sometimes people get what they deserve, what goes around comes round.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Cheating? Cheating! Guess I dislike that word more than anything on this site because it is invariably used by some to point fingers at others and to judge them for what they believe they are doing.

Point 1 : We never know the whole story of a relationship.

Point 2 : If we did, we still would not be able to know what it feels like to be that person.

Point 3 : I dont see the need to judge others for what they are doing (mainly because of point 1 and 2)

Point 4 : It is not my business what others do.

Point 5 : I have a choice to meet/ or not to meet people who are in a relationship. Nobody forces me.

Point 6 : I do not wish/ intend to upset anybody directly or indirectly by the above statements - I am coming from a general perspective.

Point 7 : "Cheating" is by definition a word with negative connotations in the swinging world. That is why I dislike it.

"

PS I forgot point 8

Point 8 : In my world people do not get what they deserve. I would like to qualify this as I do believe in karma and things coming round to us, good and bad. But assuming that every "cheater" should be punished is agreeing to say that they are all guilty of some crime in the first place. Not all are.

Why do we as humans have this need to see others punished even when it hsa nothing to do with us?

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa


"Cheating? Cheating! Guess I dislike that word more than anything on this site because it is invariably used by some to point fingers at others and to judge them for what they believe they are doing.

Point 1 : We never know the whole story of a relationship.

Point 2 : If we did, we still would not be able to know what it feels like to be that person.

Point 3 : I dont see the need to judge others for what they are doing (mainly because of point 1 and 2)

Point 4 : It is not my business what others do.

Point 5 : I have a choice to meet/ or not to meet people who are in a relationship. Nobody forces me.

Point 6 : I do not wish/ intend to upset anybody directly or indirectly by the above statements - I am coming from a general perspective.

Point 7 : "Cheating" is by definition a word with negative connotations in the swinging world. That is why I dislike it.

"

Excellent points

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"Cheating? Cheating! Guess I dislike that word more than anything on this site because it is invariably used by some to point fingers at others and to judge them for what they believe they are doing.

Point 1 : We never know the whole story of a relationship.

Point 2 : If we did, we still would not be able to know what it feels like to be that person.

Point 3 : I dont see the need to judge others for what they are doing (mainly because of point 1 and 2)

Point 4 : It is not my business what others do.

Point 5 : I have a choice to meet/ or not to meet people who are in a relationship. Nobody forces me.

Point 6 : I do not wish/ intend to upset anybody directly or indirectly by the above statements - I am coming from a general perspective.

Point 7 : "Cheating" is by definition a word with negative connotations in the swinging world. That is why I dislike it.

PS I forgot point 8

Point 8 : In my world people do not get what they deserve. I would like to qualify this as I do believe in karma and things coming round to us, good and bad. But assuming that every "cheater" should be punished is agreeing to say that they are all guilty of some crime in the first place. Not all are.

Why do we as humans have this need to see others punished even when it hsa nothing to do with us?

"

pompous anger and a condescending outlook perhaps..?

but maybe not applied to ones own self..?

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By *enny PR9TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport

I think we should all live like the Polynesians, all live in one BIG HUT and move about a lot.

Loads of guys see me when they say they are straight I also see lots of married guys and that's not a problem for me, I even state that in my profile. If someone can't keep a leash on their partner don't expect me to do it for them.

Jenny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think we should all live like the Polynesians, all live in one BIG HUT and move about a lot.

Loads of guys see me when they say they are straight I also see lots of married guys and that's not a problem for me, I even state that in my profile. If someone can't keep a leash on their partner don't expect me to do it for them.

Jenny"

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

wheres this hut . im packing up and moving in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating? Cheating! Guess I dislike that word more than anything on this site because it is invariably used by some to point fingers at others and to judge them for what they believe they are doing.

Point 1 : We never know the whole story of a relationship.

Point 2 : If we did, we still would not be able to know what it feels like to be that person.

Point 3 : I dont see the need to judge others for what they are doing (mainly because of point 1 and 2)

Point 4 : It is not my business what others do.

Point 5 : I have a choice to meet/ or not to meet people who are in a relationship. Nobody forces me.

Point 6 : I do not wish/ intend to upset anybody directly or indirectly by the above statements - I am coming from a general perspective.

Point 7 : "Cheating" is by definition a word with negative connotations in the swinging world. That is why I dislike it.

PS I forgot point 8

Point 8 : In my world people do not get what they deserve. I would like to qualify this as I do believe in karma and things coming round to us, good and bad. But assuming that every "cheater" should be punished is agreeing to say that they are all guilty of some crime in the first place. Not all are.

Why do we as humans have this need to see others punished even when it hsa nothing to do with us?

"

points 1 & 2 are very much covered by the vows of marriage of the basis of commitment.. also covered by the fact that if their relationship is that bad why be in it?

all cheaters are lying and decieving.. if u lie and decieve someone to gain money is that not a crime?

people lie and decieve for personal gain of something.. selfish actions.

selfishness in my books is a bad trait.

just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating? Cheating! Guess I dislike that word more than anything on this site because it is invariably used by some to point fingers at others and to judge them for what they believe they are doing.

Point 1 : We never know the whole story of a relationship.

Point 2 : If we did, we still would not be able to know what it feels like to be that person.

Point 3 : I dont see the need to judge others for what they are doing (mainly because of point 1 and 2)

Point 4 : It is not my business what others do.

Point 5 : I have a choice to meet/ or not to meet people who are in a relationship. Nobody forces me.

Point 6 : I do not wish/ intend to upset anybody directly or indirectly by the above statements - I am coming from a general perspective.

Point 7 : "Cheating" is by definition a word with negative connotations in the swinging world. That is why I dislike it.

PS I forgot point 8

Point 8 : In my world people do not get what they deserve. I would like to qualify this as I do believe in karma and things coming round to us, good and bad. But assuming that every "cheater" should be punished is agreeing to say that they are all guilty of some crime in the first place. Not all are.

Why do we as humans have this need to see others punished even when it hsa nothing to do with us?

points 1 & 2 are very much covered by the vows of marriage of the basis of commitment.. also covered by the fact that if their relationship is that bad why be in it?

all cheaters are lying and decieving.. if u lie and decieve someone to gain money is that not a crime?

people lie and decieve for personal gain of something.. selfish actions.

selfishness in my books is a bad trait.

just saying "

oh and point 3 - not judging someone to be able to see their actions are selfish.. unless you can give me a valid reason for a person to cheat that is not a selfish one..??

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"it is selfish to have sex with a bloke who is married but we are all selfish in one way or another.

just because my partner hasnt cheated on me, that i know of doesnt mean i dont know what it would feel like either.

doesnt mean to say i have to feel sorry for everyone who its happened too.

these things happen and sometimes people get what they deserve, what goes around comes round."

This is the second time you have said that some people deserve to be cheated on. I really don't understand this, perhaps you could explain what people deserve this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see your points. Yes my relationship is very important to me, but in the same breath its my life and ill only get one so I'd like to do the things I want. I know the response will be leave her, but I do think the world of her.

I'd love to just talk to her about how I feel but I really don't think shed accept it."

how ideal would life be if we could have everything we wanted! sadly that is a very unrealistic _iew and also a very selfish _iew to say its your life.. if you choose to share your life then that doesnt apply anymore entirely!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is selfish but as we all know relationships come and go, people fall in love and fall out of love, the only consistent thing in my life will always me."

yopur being very confusing, first f all u talk about the girl u love madly and her not knowing ur on here.. then she knows ur on here and now she doesnt mean that much to u as relationships come and go..

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

The whole scenario is very confusing.

He says she knew he was making a profile to meet men and didnt mind.

He changed this gradually, cos he was innundated with messages from guys and is losing interest in guys.

He has now ended up with profile to meet women. Which his gf doesnt know about.

A gf who he adores.

Its a hell of a lot of action for 1 week on the site.

Call me shallow but I feel the word 'b*llsh*t' coming.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The whole scenario is very confusing.

He says she knew he was making a profile to meet men and didnt mind.

He changed this gradually, cos he was innundated with messages from guys and is losing interest in guys.

He has now ended up with profile to meet women. Which his gf doesnt know about.

A gf who he adores.

Its a hell of a lot of action for 1 week on the site.

Call me shallow but I feel the word 'b*llsh*t' coming. "

you dont think that that reason he has created to allow himself to cheat has been shattered with logic and reality that he just comes up with another reason to ok it?

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool


"The whole scenario is very confusing.

He says she knew he was making a profile to meet men and didnt mind.

He changed this gradually, cos he was innundated with messages from guys and is losing interest in guys.

He has now ended up with profile to meet women. Which his gf doesnt know about.

A gf who he adores.

Its a hell of a lot of action for 1 week on the site.

Call me shallow but I feel the word 'b*llsh*t' coming.

you dont think that that reason he has created to allow himself to cheat has been shattered with logic and reality that he just comes up with another reason to ok it? "

Very possibly, .......... and if she knows he is on here, see's his new profile and he cant deny it ( as his face is very clear in his pics) then it will be whole new thread.....'my gf doesnt understand me'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well we spoke at length. I told her how I felt and that this is something I want to do but I don't want to go behind her back. She told me she was worried that I would want to spend more and more time with the same person, go out on nights out and stay and develop feelings. I explained its not the case, shell always come first, I wouldn't cancel plans or put her off for this. She thought she was doing something wrong causing me to go elsewhere but she isn't. She's agreed to try it as long as it doesn't change us, with a few ground rules. I feel kinda shitty for telling her as she was upset but I do feel releived as I don't have to sneak about anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Changed your tune a bit from 'relationships come and go'

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Well we spoke at length. I told her how I felt and that this is something I want to do but I don't want to go behind her back. She told me she was worried that I would want to spend more and more time with the same person, go out on nights out and stay and develop feelings. I explained its not the case, shell always come first, I wouldn't cancel plans or put her off for this. She thought she was doing something wrong causing me to go elsewhere but she isn't. She's agreed to try it as long as it doesn't change us, with a few ground rules. I feel kinda shitty for telling her as she was upset but I do feel releived as I don't have to sneak about anymore."

You've had time to hold an in depth discussion about something so important whilst typing on here?!!

Yeah...right!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we spoke at length. I told her how I felt and that this is something I want to do but I don't want to go behind her back. She told me she was worried that I would want to spend more and more time with the same person, go out on nights out and stay and develop feelings. I explained its not the case, shell always come first, I wouldn't cancel plans or put her off for this. She thought she was doing something wrong causing me to go elsewhere but she isn't. She's agreed to try it as long as it doesn't change us, with a few ground rules. I feel kinda shitty for telling her as she was upset but I do feel releived as I don't have to sneak about anymore."

So if we said we'd be interested in meeting you she'sd be happy to speak on the phone to confirm all that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we spoke at length. I told her how I felt and that this is something I want to do but I don't want to go behind her back. She told me she was worried that I would want to spend more and more time with the same person, go out on nights out and stay and develop feelings. I explained its not the case, shell always come first, I wouldn't cancel plans or put her off for this. She thought she was doing something wrong causing me to go elsewhere but she isn't. She's agreed to try it as long as it doesn't change us, with a few ground rules. I feel kinda shitty for telling her as she was upset but I do feel releived as I don't have to sneak about anymore.

So if we said we'd be interested in meeting you she'sd be happy to speak on the phone to confirm all that?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well Miss stress if you'll look at my last post you'll see it was made 5 hours ago, which has given us plenty of time to talk, get lunch, go out and pick up our son, go to Homebase to buy some coax cable so we can move the sky box to the other side of the room.

Id have to speak to her crystal wheels but I don't see why it would be a problem. We did speak months back when me and her where trying couples but I beleive we never went through with it because of the woman issue.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

We would never knowingly meet a cheat, in an example such as the op's profile, we'd ask to speak to his wife if we were interested in meeting him. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Id have to speak to her crystal wheels but I don't see why it would be a problem. We did speak months back when me and her where trying couples but I beleive we never went through with it because of the woman issue."

The woman issue?

As I recall, we swapped a few (at most) messages and then you described her more like a possession than a person and we stopped messaging you as we weren't interesting in someone who appeared to lack respect for their partner. In all honesty our gut instinct back then appears to have been correct.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Cheating? Cheating! Guess I dislike that word more than anything on this site because it is invariably used by some to point fingers at others and to judge them for what they believe they are doing.

Point 1 : We never know the whole story of a relationship.

Point 2 : If we did, we still would not be able to know what it feels like to be that person.

Point 3 : I dont see the need to judge others for what they are doing (mainly because of point 1 and 2)

Point 4 : It is not my business what others do.

Point 5 : I have a choice to meet/ or not to meet people who are in a relationship. Nobody forces me.

Point 6 : I do not wish/ intend to upset anybody directly or indirectly by the above statements - I am coming from a general perspective.

Point 7 : "Cheating" is by definition a word with negative connotations in the swinging world. That is why I dislike it.

PS I forgot point 8

Point 8 : In my world people do not get what they deserve. I would like to qualify this as I do believe in karma and things coming round to us, good and bad. But assuming that every "cheater" should be punished is agreeing to say that they are all guilty of some crime in the first place. Not all are.

Why do we as humans have this need to see others punished even when it hsa nothing to do with us?

points 1 & 2 are very much covered by the vows of marriage of the basis of commitment.. also covered by the fact that if their relationship is that bad why be in it?

all cheaters are lying and decieving.. if u lie and decieve someone to gain money is that not a crime?

people lie and decieve for personal gain of something.. selfish actions.

selfishness in my books is a bad trait.

just saying

oh and point 3 - not judging someone to be able to see their actions are selfish.. unless you can give me a valid reason for a person to cheat that is not a selfish one..??"
I do understand where you are coming from,honestly I do. I just feel it is not my life and therefore I dont have the right to judge those people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah you have us confused for someone else. But thank you for your feigned intrest when it clearly states you're not looking for single guys... Was you expecting me to start making exscuses as to why she couldn't call?

I see a lot of you getting quite shirty towards me over this. I only posted seeking advise, I took on board everything that was said and decided to do the right thing yet I'm still getting negativity?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Well we spoke at length. I told her how I felt and that this is something I want to do but I don't want to go behind her back. She told me she was worried that I would want to spend more and more time with the same person, go out on nights out and stay and develop feelings. I explained its not the case, shell always come first, I wouldn't cancel plans or put her off for this. She thought she was doing something wrong causing me to go elsewhere but she isn't. She's agreed to try it as long as it doesn't change us, with a few ground rules. I feel kinda shitty for telling her as she was upset but I do feel releived as I don't have to sneak about anymore."

let me take out the words which are the most important

"she was upset".......

and now you know why a lot of people won't consider playing with you......

me, personally, if i was hurting the person I profess to love move than any other.... and I know it is something I had a choice in whether to do or not.... I know what I would do....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I the only women who's hubby does not know there here?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

She was upset, she thought I wasn't happy with her and looking for a new relationship.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"Am I the only women who's hubby does not know there here?"

I've seen a few profile from woman who are playing without their husbands knowledge x

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Am I the only women who's hubby does not know there here?"
No, you are not. There are others.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/03/13 18:15:22]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So glad it not just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So glad it not just me"

Why? Does it make you feel better knowing there are other cheating women on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not really. But its good to know, I'm not alone

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By *oxoxoWoman
over a year ago

london

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"So glad it not just me"

There are so many different profiles on here, some attached people are on here with their partner's knowledge and even consent, others have their own story and reasons. Either way, the site is open to all

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool


"The whole scenario is very confusing.

He says she knew he was making a profile to meet men and didnt mind.

He changed this gradually, cos he was innundated with messages from guys and is losing interest in guys.

He has now ended up with profile to meet women. Which his gf doesnt know about.

A gf who he adores.

Its a hell of a lot of action for 1 week on the site.

Call me shallow but I feel the word 'b*llsh*t' coming. "

Add to the above....... has spent time telling his lady and she now accepts it and he feels better.

Double 'b*llsh*t.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So glad it not just me

There are so many different profiles on here, some attached people are on here with their partner's knowledge and even consent, others have their own story and reasons. Either way, the site is open to all "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all for a bit of extra fun, no one should judge anyone else.....each to there own I say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im cheating when I meet someone because I have been married for a long time and we havent had sex for years. Its not the only reason, there are also no cuddles, kisses or even sitting with each other on sofa anymore. I met a man recently who I failed to notice on his profile that he was married wasnt till I was in his car going to hotel that I saw the ring and he showed me it in hotel room. Well, I was already there we had a great chat then went on to have some fun. Originally, I would refuse married men but had a blip this time. My fault not his. Lovely guy, if he wants to meet me again I wont say no but leaving it up to him. Also, is another married guy on here Id love to meet up with - he has couples profile with his wife, also single one too. We chat through that one, but not at the mo.

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By *oxoxoWoman
over a year ago

london

didn't Eddie Murphy use that line...." yes...i'm fucking another woman,,,,,but i make luuuurrrvvv to you".....

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Louise and Scorpiogirl - all I am saying is this ; I dont believe you need to even explain why you are on here and what you are missing in your other relaitonship.

I believe you (and everybody else on this site) has the right not to be judged.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

ditto scorpio

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By *hris148Man
over a year ago

.


"Louise and Scorpiogirl - all I am saying is this ; I dont believe you need to even explain why you are on here and what you are missing in your other relaitonship.

I believe you (and everybody else on this site) has the right not to be judged. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool


"We are all for a bit of extra fun, no one should judge anyone else.....each to there own I say"

Thats fine, and I hope you continue to feel like that if it happens to you. Actually what i mean is, I hope it never happens to you . x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ditto!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Add to the above....... has spent time telling his lady and she now accepts it and he feels better.

Double 'b*llsh*t.

"

I never said she felt better, that would just be silly. I'm going to play by her rules and see how it goes.

I get the impression you think I'm lying about speaking to my partner, which would kinda defeat the whole point of me starting this post, as you have said yourself the majority of people don't care if someone has a partner or not. Surely id just seek out those people?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

good for you louise x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me... "

Thank you! Judging others is human nature and it's interesting that the ones who claim they don't judge are usually the most judgemental of all

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me... "
I dont have a problem with people having different opinions, contrary opinions...people even judging.

What I am really struggling with is the hostile attacks that sometimes happen not just in here but everywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me... I dont have a problem with people having different opinions, contrary opinions...people even judging.

What I am really struggling with is the hostile attacks that sometimes happen not just in here but everywhere.

"

a lot of the hostile attacks are nothing more than bluster to self elevate, get noticed, fit into the pack, get a leg over AND HURT from previous experiences/relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me... I dont have a problem with people having different opinions, contrary opinions...people even judging.

What I am really struggling with is the hostile attacks that sometimes happen not just in here but everywhere.

a lot of the hostile attacks are nothing more than bluster to self elevate, get noticed, fit into the pack, get a leg over AND HURT from previous experiences/relationships"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me... I dont have a problem with people having different opinions, contrary opinions...people even judging.

What I am really struggling with is the hostile attacks that sometimes happen not just in here but everywhere.

a lot of the hostile attacks are nothing more than bluster to self elevate, get noticed, fit into the pack, get a leg over AND HURT from previous experiences/relationships"

Fair point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The reason people are constantly judged on threads like this is because they choose to seek approval for their actions and decisions.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me... I dont have a problem with people having different opinions, contrary opinions...people even judging.

What I am really struggling with is the hostile attacks that sometimes happen not just in here but everywhere.

a lot of the hostile attacks are nothing more than bluster to self elevate, get noticed, fit into the pack, get a leg over AND HURT from previous experiences/relationships"

Ain't that the truth!.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im cheating when I meet someone because I have been married for a long time and we havent had sex for years. Its not the only reason, there are also no cuddles, kisses or even sitting with each other on sofa anymore. I met a man recently who I failed to notice on his profile that he was married wasnt till I was in his car going to hotel that I saw the ring and he showed me it in hotel room. Well, I was already there we had a great chat then went on to have some fun. Originally, I would refuse married men but had a blip this time. My fault not his. Lovely guy, if he wants to meet me again I wont say no but leaving it up to him. Also, is another married guy on here Id love to meet up with - he has couples profile with his wife, also single one too. We chat through that one, but not at the mo. "

Why stay married if ur not getting what u want out of it?

And why's everyone going on about judging all the time.. I said cheating is a selfish act unless someone can proove otherwise.. Noone has.. So I stand by the FACT cheaters are selfish

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone's a little selfish don't you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everyone's a little selfish don't you think?"

In what way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The reason people are constantly judged on threads like this is because they choose to seek approval for their actions and decisions. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everyone's a little selfish don't you think?"

Yh I guess everyone has to be as part of natural instinct to survive..

But complete self centredness is a whole different matter..

So let me rephrase.. Cheaters are self centred.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me... I dont have a problem with people having different opinions, contrary opinions...people even judging.

What I am really struggling with is the hostile attacks that sometimes happen not just in here but everywhere.

a lot of the hostile attacks are nothing more than bluster to self elevate, get noticed, fit into the pack, get a leg over AND HURT from previous experiences/relationships"

people may see them as hostile... others will see them as forthright...

and I don't get the notion that because people are swingers, they should leave the moral compass they live by behind....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Everyone's a little selfish don't you think?

Yh I guess everyone has to be as part of natural instinct to survive..

But complete self centredness is a whole different matter..

So let me rephrase.. Cheaters are self centred."

I really don't think you can argue with that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im cheating when I meet someone because I have been married for a long time and we havent had sex for years. Its not the only reason, there are also no cuddles, kisses or even sitting with each other on sofa anymore. I met a man recently who I failed to notice on his profile that he was married wasnt till I was in his car going to hotel that I saw the ring and he showed me it in hotel room. Well, I was already there we had a great chat then went on to have some fun. Originally, I would refuse married men but had a blip this time. My fault not his. Lovely guy, if he wants to meet me again I wont say no but leaving it up to him. Also, is another married guy on here Id love to meet up with - he has couples profile with his wife, also single one too. We chat through that one, but not at the mo.

Why stay married if ur not getting what u want out of it?

And why's everyone going on about judging all the time.. I said cheating is a selfish act unless someone can proove otherwise.. Noone has.. So I stand by the FACT cheaters are selfish"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me... I dont have a problem with people having different opinions, contrary opinions...people even judging.

What I am really struggling with is the hostile attacks that sometimes happen not just in here but everywhere.

a lot of the hostile attacks are nothing more than bluster to self elevate, get noticed, fit into the pack, get a leg over AND HURT from previous experiences/relatrionships."

I have no desire to self elevate, get noticed, get my leg over, certainly don't foloow a pack and def never been cheated on to my knowledge.

What I am is very protected over the vulnerable and the innocent.. Children and people who are happy living in a world of deciet and who will end up very hurt.

So yh I have a strong opinion on this as I hate to see people become victims.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"each to their own, but I reserve the right to judge anyone on here.

and them me... I dont have a problem with people having different opinions, contrary opinions...people even judging.

What I am really struggling with is the hostile attacks that sometimes happen not just in here but everywhere.

a lot of the hostile attacks are nothing more than bluster to self elevate, get noticed, fit into the pack, get a leg over AND HURT from previous experiences/relatrionships.

I have no desire to self elevate, get noticed, get my leg over, certainly don't foloow a pack and def never been cheated on to my knowledge.

What I am is very protected over the vulnerable and the innocent.. Children and people who are happy living in a world of deciet and who will end up very hurt.

So yh I have a strong opinion on this as I hate to see people become victims."

that's why I said a lot, not all.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

and I don't get the notion that because people are swingers, they should leave the moral compass they live by behind...."

because some 'ask' why some don't play with people in relationships, they tell them and they don't like the answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone approached you on fabs that had a partner that didn't know they where here, would it be a problem or an extra kick?"

Depends how good looking they was

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