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I think I’ve probably sent one to everyone I’m interested in that’s within 20 miles. It’s an evil world but we move. | |||
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"Frequently if I like the look of someone " *** How often it stays unopened for like a week? What type of messages do you send? (Short, long, subtle, detailed...etc.) Just curious, because I know the odds are more against man. Would like to see the experiences from a woman with this, without the (one sided) exaggerations of how bad single men are. | |||
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"I love sending a first message, usually just a very polite message, and to start a good flowing conversation x" *** If they start a conversation, then you're a lucky man. I guess the only reason is you have a mega nice personality. Good for you! Enjoy it!   | |||
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"Frequently if I like the look of someone *** How often it stays unopened for like a week? What type of messages do you send? (Short, long, subtle, detailed...etc.) Just curious, because I know the odds are more against man. Would like to see the experiences from a woman with this, without the (one sided) exaggerations of how bad single men are. " I have actually chased up a few guys who said they were interested, messages currently sitting in their inboxes unread, and they've been online. So it happens to us ladies too! | |||
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"Frequently if I like the look of someone *** How often it stays unopened for like a week? What type of messages do you send? (Short, long, subtle, detailed...etc.) Just curious, because I know the odds are more against man. Would like to see the experiences from a woman with this, without the (one sided) exaggerations of how bad single men are. " They never stay unopened 1st msg... That's not to say later messages don't
I'll not flatter myself it's because I'm all that. I assume it's purely due to the difference in message volume, they don't get overlooked.
Messages I send vary on whatever - I try to either link into something on their profile, or attempt to be funny (often unsuccessfully  ) | |||
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"Frequently if I like the look of someone *** How often it stays unopened for like a week? What type of messages do you send? (Short, long, subtle, detailed...etc.) Just curious, because I know the odds are more against man. Would like to see the experiences from a woman with this, without the (one sided) exaggerations of how bad single men are. I have actually chased up a few guys who said they were interested, messages currently sitting in their inboxes unread, and they've been online. So it happens to us ladies too! " *** Based on your profile it's kind of odd, but I know nothing is just black and white in life. Does it happen often or more like in quite season in your experience? | |||
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"Get over it " * I'm not complaining. I got over it a long time ago. Just curious about other people's opinions and the differences based on area, gender, time of the year...etc. | |||
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"Get over it * I'm not complaining. I got over it a long time ago. Just curious about other people's opinions and the differences based on area, gender, time of the year...etc." don't even try to work people out on fab it will just mess with your head | |||
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"Frequently if I like the look of someone *** How often it stays unopened for like a week? What type of messages do you send? (Short, long, subtle, detailed...etc.) Just curious, because I know the odds are more against man. Would like to see the experiences from a woman with this, without the (one sided) exaggerations of how bad single men are. They never stay unopened 1st msg... That's not to say later messages don't
I'll not flatter myself it's because I'm all that. I assume it's purely due to the difference in message volume, they don't get overlooked.
Messages I send vary on whatever - I try to either link into something on their profile, or attempt to be funny (often unsuccessfully ) "*** Obviously guys need a few second for victory dance or thank god for a message from a woman.
Yes, I'm clear the message volume is completely different and it's not anybody's fault.
I don't go off Fab when it's messing with my head, but stop messaging for awhile.
It's usually takes the pressure off.
Then I try again at some point and go with my hunch.
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway)" *** Not sure I've got your point really. | |||
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Can’t beat the London tax | |||
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"Get over it * I'm not complaining. I got over it a long time ago. Just curious about other people's opinions and the differences based on area, gender, time of the year...etc.don't even try to work people out on fab it will just mess with your head " *** No, I won't try that, but the more you, the know, the more you might have an idea about. | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway)" Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection  | |||
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"In 3 years on here you can count the number of first messages I have sent on the fingers of one hand - and those have been in response to a wink or forum message. I need to know that someone is interested before I will make a move" Ahem  | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection "Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league "Everyone in my case | |||
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"I’ve sent a few first messages out this time round…. And I was stopped again because of what happens when you send those first messages. Nothing. "*** Nothing is the best scenario of rejection. Most annoying one is, when you actually taking the time and write all the right things they mention often. Write something from their bio...etc as well. * They open it, then 5 seconds later it's deleted. It makes you feel you've been treated the same as if you would have sent a dick pic or "Wanna fuck" , " Free now". (Inbox can store a lot of messages without deletion = You can do it later) | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league
Everyone in my case "Not quite everyone | |||
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"I’ve sent a few first messages out this time round…. And I was stopped again because of what happens when you send those first messages. Nothing.
***
Nothing is the best scenario of rejection.
Most annoying one is, when you actually taking the time and write all the right things they mention often. Write something from their bio...etc as well.
*
They open it, then 5 seconds later it's deleted.
It makes you feel you've been treated the same as if you would have sent a dick pic or "Wanna fuck" , " Free now".
(Inbox can store a lot of messages without deletion = You can do it later)"It’s all rejection just the same. Doesn’t hurt any more or any less. | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league
Everyone in my case "That ain't true missus | |||
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"I’ve sent a few first messages out this time round…. And I was stopped again because of what happens when you send those first messages. Nothing.
***
Nothing is the best scenario of rejection.
Most annoying one is, when you actually taking the time and write all the right things they mention often. Write something from their bio...etc as well.
*
They open it, then 5 seconds later it's deleted.
It makes you feel you've been treated the same as if you would have sent a dick pic or "Wanna fuck" , " Free now".
(Inbox can store a lot of messages without deletion = You can do it later)"That’s why my advice is put less effort inti messages If someone fancied you, they’ll be fine with a pretty short, chill first message If they don’t, the best novel won’t matter Safe the good stuff for when you’ve got a reply | |||
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"I’ve sent a few first messages out this time round…. And I was stopped again because of what happens when you send those first messages. Nothing.
***
Nothing is the best scenario of rejection.
Most annoying one is, when you actually taking the time and write all the right things they mention often. Write something from their bio...etc as well.
*
They open it, then 5 seconds later it's deleted.
It makes you feel you've been treated the same as if you would have sent a dick pic or "Wanna fuck" , " Free now".
(Inbox can store a lot of messages without deletion = You can do it later)
That’s why my advice is put less effort inti messages
If someone fancied you, they’ll be fine with a pretty short, chill first message
If they don’t, the best novel won’t matter
Safe the good stuff for when you’ve got a reply "This is true. If you’re for them, they won’t pass you by. | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league
Everyone in my case
Not quite everyone " .. Astrid ( what i call my anxiety)is being a bitch today she needs to get back in her box lol | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league
Everyone in my case
Not quite everyone
.. Astrid ( what i call my anxiety)is being a bitch today she needs to get back in her box lol"Yeah fuck off, Astrid | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league
Everyone in my case
Not quite everyone
.. Astrid ( what i call my anxiety)is being a bitch today she needs to get back in her box lol
Yeah fuck off, Astrid " | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league
Everyone in my case "*** If you'd live closer to me, then I'd be more than happy to meet you. Not much to do with your appearance, but actually I like you how you are. You come across like an honestly nice woman. Not pretending and not lying to be seen more than you are. Alway nice to everyone, regardless they are new, shunned or member of the clique. You're 1 of the 3 women I personally like how they come through to every single person, not just to the selected few. Do not change a thing. You are good how you are. It's an honest compliment, not a desperate attempt to get a shag. 
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league
Everyone in my case
***
If you'd live closer to me, then I'd be more than happy to meet you.
Not much to do with your appearance, but actually I like you how you are.
You come across like an honestly nice woman.
Not pretending and not lying to be seen more than you are.
Alway nice to everyone, regardless they are new, shunned or member of the clique.
You're 1 of the 3 women I personally like how they come through to every single person, not just to the selected few.
Do not change a thing.
You are good how you are.
It's an honest compliment, not a desperate attempt to get a shag.
"Thank you that has brightened my day x | |||
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"Most of the time, as I like hunting for what I want on here "*** My finger got a cramp on the wheel of the mouse. | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league
Everyone in my case
***
If you'd live closer to me, then I'd be more than happy to meet you.
Not much to do with your appearance, but actually I like you how you are.
You come across like an honestly nice woman.
Not pretending and not lying to be seen more than you are.
Alway nice to everyone, regardless they are new, shunned or member of the clique.
You're 1 of the 3 women I personally like how they come through to every single person, not just to the selected few.
Do not change a thing.
You are good how you are.
It's an honest compliment, not a desperate attempt to get a shag.
Thank you that has brightened my day x "*** Anytime! You deserve it! | |||
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"Imagine if everyone didn’t send the first message. Seems like a lot of confident/arrogant people on here (which we all know anyway) Or you know people with low self esteem that are worried about rejection
Yeah, people you perceive to be out of your league
Everyone in my case
***
If you'd live closer to me, then I'd be more than happy to meet you.
Not much to do with your appearance, but actually I like you how you are.
You come across like an honestly nice woman.
Not pretending and not lying to be seen more than you are.
Alway nice to everyone, regardless they are new, shunned or member of the clique.
You're 1 of the 3 women I personally like how they come through to every single person, not just to the selected few.
Do not change a thing.
You are good how you are.
It's an honest compliment, not a desperate attempt to get a shag.
Thank you that has brightened my day x
***
Anytime!
You deserve it!
" | |||
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"I do try to reply to anyone brave enough to message after reading my profile. But, I don’t message back if it’s a one or two word message. Me? I message first quite a lot. I usually get responses. " *** " I message first quite a lot. I usually get responses. " * Interesting thing/fact. I didn't read you're bio, but I noticed you don't have a profile photo or any public photo, yet you get replies back all the time. I can safely say it as a fact, if a guy does that it's 99.9% they won't get a reply. The exception is, if they have 100+ positive veries or HUNG mentioned in username or in their bio. You can throw stones at me now, but I did checked out a quite few popular guy's profiles with no photos and with really short bio. They all had HUNG mentioned either in username, bio or in the veries. | |||
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"If I see someone I like the look of I'll send a first message. That doesn't happen often so I couldn't even try to average it out over weeks months or even years. Also depends on my circumstances. I'm less likely to send first messages when someone's keeping me ticking over as I end up being unintentionally monogamous if there's not a great distance between us. That's purely because I don't think to go looking when I'm content enough. But if I've got no one around I could send a good few out. " *** So... You send messages, if you really like someone. You don't send, if they are too close, because it might get serious. sometimes/Often avoiding contact/repeat meat, because you really like them. Did I understand it correctly??? Why not just find people you like enough, but not too much? | |||
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"I sent 2 messages in the last 2 months. Probably I will stop doing it again. 1. I sent it only because of the naughty username. (Not quoting, but her username was similar to "SplitMyBum") I deleted it after a week being yellow, but I've seen daily online activity. 2. A local couple winked at me. I winked back and I was doubting, if I should send a message. *They might have hit wink button instead of block button. *They might have winked on purpose, but their bio says "not looking for single man". (Local ladies in my area are less approachable, than rockstars. It's only a slight exaggeration. The reason I never go to Norwich social) *They might be waiting for me to take the first step. Well, I messaged. No pain, no gain. Right? Still unread and I will delete it in a week probably. most likely I will block them as well. *** Before you say the cliche: You're negative...bla...bla...bla You won't get anything without trying...bla...bla...bla * I'm here since 2022. I tried everything literally. I didn't give it up, but sending message only if I can see a slight chance. Otherwise I feel like I'm begging. Humiliating myself and keep checking it's read or unread...etc. I'm so much more chilled since I don't care. I make effort for the ones deserve it. *** What's your experience with messaging first? How often are you sending first message? Are you sending a lot or limiting it? Did you give up sending first message? *** I'm not ranting or complaining. I'm okay actually, but won't pretend it's all my fault and nobody is unapproachable. I'm happy!See? "I think my first week I sent about 6 messages to locals I found attractive, only 1 was read and I got the "not for me" message. I've only sent a couple of messages since to people I've spoken to on the forums. | |||
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"The energy people give off also makes a difference on here. If all you talk about is not getting anywhere or things don’t go your way then they won’t. You’ll think ‘see, I predicted that would happen and it has’ and it creates that negative cycle. However if you put positive spins on things then things may change. Being sexy is a state of mind - if you aren’t in that head space then everything you do, write, post pics comes across negative. K" *** As I mentioned I tried every single thing for longer than a week or 2...etc. Didn't make a single difference. Actually I got less attention, when I didn't have any public dick pic. Not complaining, just sharing my experience. I honestly don't care about it anymore. I will put more energy in real life meets, not battling with lottery win chances, then possibly get disappointed with the price. You can do everything right, but for the majority of people will judge based on looks. (Generally considered for most, but attractiveness is subjective) 3/10 you can do everything right, still won't happen. 7+/10 Some does, some doesn't make much effort, still doing alright. * Nothing I can do about it. People like what they like. I won't pretend it's not there, just because it would give me an extra 0.1% chance with someone, who might think pretending is a good quality. * Honestly I'm not whingeing. I just call it what it is. Nothing I can do about it, but acknowledging it's there preventing me to be naive. Naivety can cause more harm than rejection. I'm not trying too much now, but I might next week. Might do a complete changeover next month. I don't know. At the moment I gave up, because it makes me feel better. I know it might sound stupid or negative. I know exactly how much crap/rejection I can take and when it's enough or ready for more. My mental health is more important, then have sex with someone I don't really want, but I don't have options. Won't stress about daily why that message is still yellow...etc. I'm not happy, but I'm okay with my choice. If I made the wrong one, then it's on me, not on anyone else. | |||
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"I do try to reply to anyone brave enough to message after reading my profile. But, I don’t message back if it’s a one or two word message. Me? I message first quite a lot. I usually get responses. *** " I message first quite a lot. I usually get responses. " * Interesting thing/fact. I didn't read you're bio, but I noticed you don't have a profile photo or any public photo, yet you get replies back all the time. I can safely say it as a fact, if a guy does that it's 99.9% they won't get a reply. The exception is, if they have 100+ positive veries or HUNG mentioned in username or in their bio. You can throw stones at me now, but I did checked out a quite few popular guy's profiles with no photos and with really short bio. They all had HUNG mentioned either in username, bio or in the veries. " I think it’s also got a lot to do with what I message. I don’t just message ‘hi baby, what you up to? Love your profile’. I take time and message something tailor made to everyone I message. And yes I don’t have any visible pics, but I don’t need to see pics either, if the person I want to chat to is a forumite, with no pics, but is genuinely interesting. Because I find them interesting and want to chat, doesn’t mean I’m going to shag them, and therefore pics are irrelevant to me. | |||
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"I sent 2 messages in the last 2 months. Probably I will stop doing it again. 1. I sent it only because of the naughty username. (Not quoting, but her username was similar to "SplitMyBum") I deleted it after a week being yellow, but I've seen daily online activity. 2. A local couple winked at me. I winked back and I was doubting, if I should send a message. *They might have hit wink button instead of block button. *They might have winked on purpose, but their bio says "not looking for single man". (Local ladies in my area are less approachable, than rockstars. It's only a slight exaggeration. The reason I never go to Norwich social) *They might be waiting for me to take the first step. Well, I messaged. No pain, no gain. Right? Still unread and I will delete it in a week probably. most likely I will block them as well. *** Before you say the cliche: You're negative...bla...bla...bla You won't get anything without trying...bla...bla...bla * I'm here since 2022. I tried everything literally. I didn't give it up, but sending message only if I can see a slight chance. Otherwise I feel like I'm begging. Humiliating myself and keep checking it's read or unread...etc. I'm so much more chilled since I don't care. I make effort for the ones deserve it. *** What's your experience with messaging first? How often are you sending first message? Are you sending a lot or limiting it? Did you give up sending first message? *** I'm not ranting or complaining. I'm okay actually, but won't pretend it's all my fault and nobody is unapproachable. I'm happy!See?
I think my first week I sent about 6 messages to locals I found attractive, only 1 was read and I got the "not for me" message.
I've only sent a couple of messages since to people I've spoken to on the forums.
"*** "not for me message." * They are the ones keep you going/nice ones actually. I know they receive too many messages, but sometimes is better than never ever. I think I'm here since 07.2022. I sent approx. 300 - 600 messages. Some shorter, some longer, but never a dick pic or "wanna fuck" , "I'm free". I received maybe 3 "No thanks" in some form. Messaged back "Okay. No worries! Have fun!
I was happy they replied, even though it was a rejection.
I didn't expect everyone do that, but look at the ratio. | |||
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"I do try to reply to anyone brave enough to message after reading my profile. But, I don’t message back if it’s a one or two word message. Me? I message first quite a lot. I usually get responses. *** " I message first quite a lot. I usually get responses. " * Interesting thing/fact. I didn't read you're bio, but I noticed you don't have a profile photo or any public photo, yet you get replies back all the time. I can safely say it as a fact, if a guy does that it's 99.9% they won't get a reply. The exception is, if they have 100+ positive veries or HUNG mentioned in username or in their bio. You can throw stones at me now, but I did checked out a quite few popular guy's profiles with no photos and with really short bio. They all had HUNG mentioned either in username, bio or in the veries. I think it’s also got a lot to do with what I message. I don’t just message ‘hi baby, what you up to? Love your profile’. I take time and message something tailor made to everyone I message. And yes I don’t have any visible pics, but I don’t need to see pics either, if the person I want to chat to is a forumite, with no pics, but is genuinely interesting. Because I find them interesting and want to chat, doesn’t mean I’m going to shag them, and therefore pics are irrelevant to me." *** I wasn't judging you, just demonstrated it wouldn't go down the same for most guys. I sent plenty of messages you described. Changed/updated my photos often. Added or removed dirty photos. Changed the tone/content of my bio plenty of times. Before I used to be regular on the forum, I sometimes had a week with 1 view. I know the difference in views are related to the forum presence. Still probably 20-30 is my average now, unless uploading new photos or someone is bashing me on my own thread. Most/all messages are forum related in some way, if I receive any. I've been innocent, dirty, good guy , bad guy, but never got laid in almost 2 years. I need to give up fooling myself at some point I guess. | |||
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"You've sent 300-600 messages in 18 months? That's almost one a day. I've been here 8 years and I haven't sent a first contact message since January 2020. I can honestly say I haven't sent more than 60-80 first messages in all my time here and I got a reply to about 3 quarters of those. " *** The majority was sent in the first 1 year. Then someone pointed out a new profile would be helpful, because I didn't have a verification over a year. Guess what? Didn't make any difference. I found forum a few months ago and first decreased, then stopped messaging. | |||
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"I do try to reply to anyone brave enough to message after reading my profile. But, I don’t message back if it’s a one or two word message. Me? I message first quite a lot. I usually get responses. *** " I message first quite a lot. I usually get responses. " * Interesting thing/fact. I didn't read you're bio, but I noticed you don't have a profile photo or any public photo, yet you get replies back all the time. I can safely say it as a fact, if a guy does that it's 99.9% they won't get a reply. The exception is, if they have 100+ positive veries or HUNG mentioned in username or in their bio. You can throw stones at me now, but I did checked out a quite few popular guy's profiles with no photos and with really short bio. They all had HUNG mentioned either in username, bio or in the veries. I think it’s also got a lot to do with what I message. I don’t just message ‘hi baby, what you up to? Love your profile’. I take time and message something tailor made to everyone I message. And yes I don’t have any visible pics, but I don’t need to see pics either, if the person I want to chat to is a forumite, with no pics, but is genuinely interesting. Because I find them interesting and want to chat, doesn’t mean I’m going to shag them, and therefore pics are irrelevant to me. *** I wasn't judging you, just demonstrated it wouldn't go down the same for most guys. I sent plenty of messages you described. Changed/updated my photos often. Added or removed dirty photos. Changed the tone/content of my bio plenty of times. Before I used to be regular on the forum, I sometimes had a week with 1 view. I know the difference in views are related to the forum presence. Still probably 20-30 is my average now, unless uploading new photos or someone is bashing me on my own thread. Most/all messages are forum related in some way, if I receive any. I've been innocent, dirty, good guy , bad guy, but never got laid in almost 2 years. I need to give up fooling myself at some point I guess. " You've just answered your own question. You've spent your time here trying to be so many different things and tried every angle going. I've never once changed my pics or bio based on advice from others or things I've read in the forums. My profile has always been me and people can take it or leave it. I couldn't care less if it annoys some because many others like it. I don't simp on the forums and often call people out for their stupidity and yet all the compliments I receive from women say how much they like the fact that I'm not a people pleaser. They are attracted to the fact that I am my own person. | |||
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"Imagine if guys put this much effort into real women in their lives? " Sexism solved? | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 06/01/24 13:08:24]" *** I didn't change really, just holding back or highlighting some things more. Your approach probably my way to go recently. Most don't like it, but surprisingly I received some unexpected compliments actually. I mean "You are weird, but good weird" is a compliment I guess. | |||
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"I love sending a first message, usually just a very polite message, and to start a good flowing conversation x" Glad I sent that wink now | |||
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"Who don't you go to the Norwich social? Surely that's a great way to meet local women? " *** I messaged all the women/couples online regularly at some point since I'm here (Closer to 2 years). 95% no reply. 5% no thanks or fooled me/chickened out You're the second women I've seen on forum in months from my area. Once I put an update up asking about testimonies from Norwich social. Not a single person messaged about it. Not even men, which is unusual. | |||
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"Soon noone will be messaging anyone" *** Don't worry. Hot guys will message, because they aren't wasting their time with it. Ugly ones won't, but it won't bother anyone. So win win for the ladies. | |||
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"Soon noone will be messaging anyone *** Don't worry. Hot guys will message, because they aren't wasting their time with it. Ugly ones won't, but it won't bother anyone. So win win for the ladies. "You do talk rubbish. Some of the most successful guys on here are average looking but they've got whit and charm. Noone wants a hot guy with the personality of a rattle snake | |||
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"I sent 2 messages in the last 2 months. Probably I will stop doing it again. 1. I sent it only because of the naughty username. (Not quoting, but her username was similar to "SplitMyBum") I deleted it after a week being yellow, but I've seen daily online activity. 2. A local couple winked at me. I winked back and I was doubting, if I should send a message. *They might have hit wink button instead of block button. *They might have winked on purpose, but their bio says "not looking for single man". (Local ladies in my area are less approachable, than rockstars. It's only a slight exaggeration. The reason I never go to Norwich social) *They might be waiting for me to take the first step. Well, I messaged. No pain, no gain. Right? Still unread and I will delete it in a week probably. most likely I will block them as well. *** Before you say the cliche: You're negative...bla...bla...bla You won't get anything without trying...bla...bla...bla * I'm here since 2022. I tried everything literally. I didn't give it up, but sending message only if I can see a slight chance. Otherwise I feel like I'm begging. Humiliating myself and keep checking it's read or unread...etc. I'm so much more chilled since I don't care. I make effort for the ones deserve it. *** What's your experience with messaging first? How often are you sending first message? Are you sending a lot or limiting it? Did you give up sending first message? *** I'm not ranting or complaining. I'm okay actually, but won't pretend it's all my fault and nobody is unapproachable. I'm happy!See? "I agree! | |||
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"I sent 2 messages in the last 2 months. Probably I will stop doing it again. 1. I sent it only because of the naughty username. (Not quoting, but her username was similar to "SplitMyBum") I deleted it after a week being yellow, but I've seen daily online activity. 2. A local couple winked at me. I winked back and I was doubting, if I should send a message. *They might have hit wink button instead of block button. *They might have winked on purpose, but their bio says "not looking for single man". (Local ladies in my area are less approachable, than rockstars. It's only a slight exaggeration. The reason I never go to Norwich social) *They might be waiting for me to take the first step. Well, I messaged. No pain, no gain. Right? Still unread and I will delete it in a week probably. most likely I will block them as well. *** Before you say the cliche: You're negative...bla...bla...bla You won't get anything without trying...bla...bla...bla * I'm here since 2022. I tried everything literally. I didn't give it up, but sending message only if I can see a slight chance. Otherwise I feel like I'm begging. Humiliating myself and keep checking it's read or unread...etc. I'm so much more chilled since I don't care. I make effort for the ones deserve it. *** What's your experience with messaging first? How often are you sending first message? Are you sending a lot or limiting it? Did you give up sending first message? *** I'm not ranting or complaining. I'm okay actually, but won't pretend it's all my fault and nobody is unapproachable. I'm happy!See?
I think my first week I sent about 6 messages to locals I found attractive, only 1 was read and I got the "not for me" message.
I've only sent a couple of messages since to people I've spoken to on the forums.
***
"not for me message."
*
They are the ones keep you going/nice ones actually.
I know they receive too many messages, but sometimes is better than never ever.
I think I'm here since 07.2022.
I sent approx. 300 - 600 messages.
Some shorter, some longer, but never a dick pic or "wanna fuck" , "I'm free".
I received maybe 3 "No thanks" in some form.
Messaged back "Okay. No worries! Have fun!
I was happy they replied, even though it was a rejection.
I didn't expect everyone do that, but look at the ratio."It's awkward for women though isn't it, they will get 100x the attention fellas do, it's probably quite exhausting after a while. And then they have to out who's worth their time based on how well you sell yourself online. In real life you'd find alot of these people that didn't respond would probably gravitate towards you if you meet them in person. And I'd prefer to get a "not for me" then no response, but it also feels pretty shitty saying that to someone. Imagine getting 50 messages a day, going through all those profiles and replying "not for me" to everyone. Daily. It'll probably end up feeling like a full time job that you don't get paid for that has zero benefits to you. And fellas cause this by just wanting to fuck anyone they can and throwing that net far and wide to every single women they see. | |||
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"I sent 2 messages in the last 2 months. Probably I will stop doing it again. 1. I sent it only because of the naughty username. (Not quoting, but her username was similar to "SplitMyBum") I deleted it after a week being yellow, but I've seen daily online activity. 2. A local couple winked at me. I winked back and I was doubting, if I should send a message. *They might have hit wink button instead of block button. *They might have winked on purpose, but their bio says "not looking for single man". (Local ladies in my area are less approachable, than rockstars. It's only a slight exaggeration. The reason I never go to Norwich social) *They might be waiting for me to take the first step. Well, I messaged. No pain, no gain. Right? Still unread and I will delete it in a week probably. most likely I will block them as well. *** Before you say the cliche: You're negative...bla...bla...bla You won't get anything without trying...bla...bla...bla * I'm here since 2022. I tried everything literally. I didn't give it up, but sending message only if I can see a slight chance. Otherwise I feel like I'm begging. Humiliating myself and keep checking it's read or unread...etc. I'm so much more chilled since I don't care. I make effort for the ones deserve it. *** What's your experience with messaging first? How often are you sending first message? Are you sending a lot or limiting it? Did you give up sending first message? *** I'm not ranting or complaining. I'm okay actually, but won't pretend it's all my fault and nobody is unapproachable. I'm happy!See?
I think my first week I sent about 6 messages to locals I found attractive, only 1 was read and I got the "not for me" message.
I've only sent a couple of messages since to people I've spoken to on the forums.
***
"not for me message."
*
They are the ones keep you going/nice ones actually.
I know they receive too many messages, but sometimes is better than never ever.
I think I'm here since 07.2022.
I sent approx. 300 - 600 messages.
Some shorter, some longer, but never a dick pic or "wanna fuck" , "I'm free".
I received maybe 3 "No thanks" in some form.
Messaged back "Okay. No worries! Have fun!
I was happy they replied, even though it was a rejection.
I didn't expect everyone do that, but look at the ratio.
It's awkward for women though isn't it, they will get 100x the attention fellas do, it's probably quite exhausting after a while.
And then they have to out who's worth their time based on how well you sell yourself online.
In real life you'd find alot of these people that didn't respond would probably gravitate towards you if you meet them in person.
And I'd prefer to get a "not for me" then no response, but it also feels pretty shitty saying that to someone.
Imagine getting 50 messages a day, going through all those profiles and replying "not for me" to everyone.
Daily.
It'll probably end up feeling like a full time job that you don't get paid for that has zero benefits to you.
And fellas cause this by just wanting to fuck anyone they can and throwing that net far and wide to every single women they see.
"*** Somewhat agree, somewhat disagree. There are popular guys (10%) here as well. I've never seen any of them complaining about getting too much messages....etc. | |||
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"I sent 2 messages in the last 2 months. Probably I will stop doing it again. 1. I sent it only because of the naughty username. (Not quoting, but her username was similar to "SplitMyBum") I deleted it after a week being yellow, but I've seen daily online activity. 2. A local couple winked at me. I winked back and I was doubting, if I should send a message. *They might have hit wink button instead of block button. *They might have winked on purpose, but their bio says "not looking for single man". (Local ladies in my area are less approachable, than rockstars. It's only a slight exaggeration. The reason I never go to Norwich social) *They might be waiting for me to take the first step. Well, I messaged. No pain, no gain. Right? Still unread and I will delete it in a week probably. most likely I will block them as well. *** Before you say the cliche: You're negative...bla...bla...bla You won't get anything without trying...bla...bla...bla * I'm here since 2022. I tried everything literally. I didn't give it up, but sending message only if I can see a slight chance. Otherwise I feel like I'm begging. Humiliating myself and keep checking it's read or unread...etc. I'm so much more chilled since I don't care. I make effort for the ones deserve it. *** What's your experience with messaging first? How often are you sending first message? Are you sending a lot or limiting it? Did you give up sending first message? *** I'm not ranting or complaining. I'm okay actually, but won't pretend it's all my fault and nobody is unapproachable. I'm happy!See?
I think my first week I sent about 6 messages to locals I found attractive, only 1 was read and I got the "not for me" message.
I've only sent a couple of messages since to people I've spoken to on the forums.
***
"not for me message."
*
They are the ones keep you going/nice ones actually.
I know they receive too many messages, but sometimes is better than never ever.
I think I'm here since 07.2022.
I sent approx. 300 - 600 messages.
Some shorter, some longer, but never a dick pic or "wanna fuck" , "I'm free".
I received maybe 3 "No thanks" in some form.
Messaged back "Okay. No worries! Have fun!
I was happy they replied, even though it was a rejection.
I didn't expect everyone do that, but look at the ratio.
It's awkward for women though isn't it, they will get 100x the attention fellas do, it's probably quite exhausting after a while.
And then they have to out who's worth their time based on how well you sell yourself online.
In real life you'd find alot of these people that didn't respond would probably gravitate towards you if you meet them in person.
And I'd prefer to get a "not for me" then no response, but it also feels pretty shitty saying that to someone.
Imagine getting 50 messages a day, going through all those profiles and replying "not for me" to everyone.
Daily.
It'll probably end up feeling like a full time job that you don't get paid for that has zero benefits to you.
And fellas cause this by just wanting to fuck anyone they can and throwing that net far and wide to every single women they see.
***
Somewhat agree, somewhat disagree.
There are popular guys (10%) here as well.
I've never seen any of them complaining about getting too much messages....etc."I'd bet you the most popular guys on here probably don't get messaged first as much as the least popular women. | |||
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"Soon noone will be messaging anyone *** Don't worry. Hot guys will message, because they aren't wasting their time with it. Ugly ones won't, but it won't bother anyone. So win win for the ladies. You do talk rubbish. Some of the most successful guys on here are average looking but they've got whit and charm.
Noone wants a hot guy with the personality of a rattle snake"*** If you put your personal dislike aside, then you would admit it does happen, but not that often. "Hot" guys with shitty personality is more likely to be successful. I didn't say all hot or all average guys get treated the same. Obviously some woman cares about other stuff, some overlooks personality if they like what they see. I was unpopular way before I came to the Forum. I'm unpopular when I'm on the street/anywhere without saying anything controversial. I'm unpopular with women since I'm in the UK. This is my unbiased opinion based on experiences and some facts. Above is your opinion based on your experiences and some clouded judgements against me. I mean the tone of it sounded like that. I don't know you and you don't know me to judge, so I'd like to leave it as we have different opinions about things. | |||
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" Somewhat agree, somewhat disagree. There are popular guys (10%) here as well. I've never seen any of them complaining about getting too much messages....etc. I'd bet you the most popular guys on here probably don't get messaged first as much as the least popular women." Most popular on the site as in the hottest guys, I’d say they probably do if they have their filters down. Because men will message them. But if say a straight really attractive guy was only accepting messages from women I reckon they would probably get very few messages still. And I think that’s mostly down to the fact that it seems like women in the site possibly don’t message send first messages at the same rate. Maybe because they don’t have to. Maybe because they’re more likely to be successful. Who knows. | |||
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"I I'd bet you the most popular guys on here probably don't get messaged first as much as the least popular women." The most popular guys on here don’t rely on messaging to get meets because they know it’s not worth the effort They go to socials and clubs | |||
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"Never I don’t need to, when you’re an apex god such as myself, the pussy just flows. The mr " * | |||
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" Just curious, because I know the odds are more against man. Would like to see the experiences from a woman with this, without the (one sided) exaggerations of how bad single men are. I have actually chased up a few guys who said they were interested, messages currently sitting in their inboxes unread, and they've been online. So it happens to us ladies too! *** Based on your profile it's kind of odd, but I know nothing is just black and white in life. Does it happen often or more like in quite season in your experience?" Doesn't make any difference when. These are men that have told me they're interested and want to meet, yet when I've pursued them to make it happen, I've not had a response. But guaranteed they'll probably come back around! | |||
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"I I'd bet you the most popular guys on here probably don't get messaged first as much as the least popular women. The most popular guys on here don’t rely on messaging to get meets because they know it’s not worth the effort They go to socials and clubs " Saying that though, the only times I ever got messaged first by women and couples on here was when I had cock pics public It’s something the forum hates to admit, but a lot of couples and women on here are looking to fulfill fantasies on here and a big dick is one of them. Many don’t need it to be attached to anything too nice, just not a psycho | |||
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"Soon noone will be messaging anyone *** Don't worry. Hot guys will message, because they aren't wasting their time with it. Ugly ones won't, but it won't bother anyone. So win win for the ladies. You do talk rubbish. Some of the most successful guys on here are average looking but they've got whit and charm.
Noone wants a hot guy with the personality of a rattle snake
***
If you put your personal dislike aside, then you would admit it does happen, but not that often.
"Hot" guys with shitty personality is more likely to be successful.
I didn't say all hot or all average guys get treated the same.
Obviously some woman cares about other stuff, some overlooks personality if they like what they see.
I was unpopular way before I came to the Forum.
I'm unpopular when I'm on the street/anywhere without saying anything controversial.
I'm unpopular with women since I'm in the UK.
This is my unbiased opinion based on experiences and some facts.
Above is your opinion based on your experiences and some clouded judgements against me.
I mean the tone of it sounded like that.
I don't know you and you don't know me to judge, so I'd like to leave it as we have different opinions about things.
"The only bit aimed at you was your talking rubbish. Nothing else was aimed at you. Why do you think your unpopular everywhere you go. I can only see part of your face and you dont look unattractive so I don't think it's your looks | |||
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" Somewhat agree, somewhat disagree. There are popular guys (10%) here as well. I've never seen any of them complaining about getting too much messages....etc. I'd bet you the most popular guys on here probably don't get messaged first as much as the least popular women. Most popular on the site as in the hottest guys, I’d say they probably do if they have their filters down. Because men will message them. But if say a straight really attractive guy was only accepting messages from women I reckon they would probably get very few messages still. And I think that’s mostly down to the fact that it seems like women in the site possibly don’t message send first messages at the same rate. Maybe because they don’t have to. Maybe because they’re more likely to be successful. Who knows. " * I don't know that really, but it's possible. I did see popular guys profile and I can see how women behave on forum when one pops in. Didn't check all obviously, but usually there isn't majority of clubs related reviews. So it might, might not be or partially true. | |||
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"I send first messages and I receive them. I don’t send a lot of messages but I do actively send them and probably get a 60/70% chat rate out of them. I see a lot of these threads and do wonder what people are doing to get the failure rates that they manage to achieve. If something isn’t working then maybe try something different?" Yeah, have they tried being 6’7 and hung? It’s not hard guys get with the program | |||
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it’s worked out well for me so far, I think | |||
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"Who don't you go to the Norwich social? Surely that's a great way to meet local women? *** I messaged all the women/couples online regularly at some point since I'm here (Closer to 2 years). 95% no reply. 5% no thanks or fooled me/chickened out You're the second women I've seen on forum in months from my area. Once I put an update up asking about testimonies from Norwich social. Not a single person messaged about it. Not even men, which is unusual. "Oh I see, sorry to hear that | |||
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"I send first messages and I receive them. I don’t send a lot of messages but I do actively send them and probably get a 60/70% chat rate out of them. I see a lot of these threads and do wonder what people are doing to get the failure rates that they manage to achieve. If something isn’t working then maybe try something different? Yeah, have they tried being 6’7 and hung? It’s not hard guys get with the program " Lol, that's funny ...I'm gonna try and report back
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"I send first messages and I receive them. I don’t send a lot of messages but I do actively send them and probably get a 60/70% chat rate out of them. I see a lot of these threads and do wonder what people are doing to get the failure rates that they manage to achieve. If something isn’t working then maybe try something different? Yeah, have they tried being 6’7 and hung? It’s not hard guys get with the program "  but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples. | |||
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"Soon noone will be messaging anyone *** Don't worry. Hot guys will message, because they aren't wasting their time with it. Ugly ones won't, but it won't bother anyone. So win win for the ladies. You do talk rubbish. Some of the most successful guys on here are average looking but they've got whit and charm.
Noone wants a hot guy with the personality of a rattle snake
***
If you put your personal dislike aside, then you would admit it does happen, but not that often.
"Hot" guys with shitty personality is more likely to be successful.
I didn't say all hot or all average guys get treated the same.
Obviously some woman cares about other stuff, some overlooks personality if they like what they see.
I was unpopular way before I came to the Forum.
I'm unpopular when I'm on the street/anywhere without saying anything controversial.
I'm unpopular with women since I'm in the UK.
This is my unbiased opinion based on experiences and some facts.
Above is your opinion based on your experiences and some clouded judgements against me.
I mean the tone of it sounded like that.
I don't know you and you don't know me to judge, so I'd like to leave it as we have different opinions about things.
The only bit aimed at you was your talking rubbish. Nothing else was aimed at you.
Why do you think your unpopular everywhere you go. I can only see part of your face and you dont look unattractive so I don't think it's your looks"*** That's why I said it looks you aiming, but unsure. Text can come through different. * I'm a 2/10 in the UK. Probably 5/10 in Hungary. Maybe 6/10 in Latin American countries + Spain and Portugal. Probably 7/10 in Asian countries...etc. It's my experience, but didn't make a survey. I'm here since 2007 and didn't have a single British woman. Except 1 ONS, but I think she had other reasons to choose me. I mix mostly with British and don't have language barriers. I'm not saying it's perfect. Believe it or not, I'm actually a nice guy in the flesh, some might even say too nice. Saying my opinion or commenting sometimes stupid doesn't make me a bad person. I actually never commented anything offensive against anyone here, but received it quite often. Weird humour here? Yes, probably but not morbid. Like a debate? Yes, as long as it's not turning into an argument. Then usually it's 10 against 1 here. Sensitive about race, bullying, homophobia and other discriminations? Yes and I should shut up sometimes, because it makes things harder for me. Also nobody will stand behind me, even if I'm right. It's not to smart from me, but standing my ground isn't a bad quality. Yes, most people want easy life instead, unless it's affecting them. Well, it affects me and actually I'm Caucasian. I keep need to prove it though. It went as far as I showed my ID and Driving license to 1 of my colleague. I do notice many ignores me here for whatever reason. Nobody has to like me, but many doesn't even know/remember the reason. I have probably 10-15 people, plus some non regulars who like me like this. Simply they always treat me right, not how the majority those and I give them back at least the same, but aiming for more. I more appreciate the real quality of people with their actions backing it up, then be popular on the forum. Also being popular on forum wouldn't make a difference in my area. I've seen 2 local women in months here. Anyway, I try to give my best. Try to avoid topics will trigger my passionate debate gene. Try to avoid people who obviously don't like me. Try to avoid people who change they opinion about me really easily in a bad way. I wasted some time for them recently and they turned on me without any hesitation when the first time we disagreed on something. That's not even a friendship, so not important in my life. I even trying to avoid some people 's thread to avoid drama. Some said it, some said it without words I'm not welcome. There's no body language in writing. It's not my native language, so my tone/sentence building might be off a bit sometimes. I honestly never want to offend anyone. Not even the racist ones. I can have a nice debate with anyone, as long as it's not getting personal. We don't have to like each other to be civil. I know, too long. Sorry! | |||
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"I send first messages and I receive them. I don’t send a lot of messages but I do actively send them and probably get a 60/70% chat rate out of them. I see a lot of these threads and do wonder what people are doing to get the failure rates that they manage to achieve. If something isn’t working then maybe try something different?" * I mean for a fact  I know you are a nice guy, so you deserve it.
You also have a big cock, which I'm sure nothing to do with your success rate.
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"Yes I have sent first messages on here. But recently I haven't as I'm not meeting anyone new at present. So I'm not doing any chats either. I also have kept filters very tight as I don't want a load of messages either it suits me and the way I run my profile. I don't see the point of getting a load of messages that I've no intention of reading or answering.That is just a waste of everyone's time and I've never seen the point of it. " I've started turning them off whilst I catch up and then turn them on again. But I don't want to be "hunting". I might hotlist and message via a forum thread but I'd never just message a guy I fancied cold. | |||
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"I don't send first messages at all any more. As a single guy, there just doesn't seem to be any point - better to wait to be contacted by someone who's read my profile as is genuinely interested than spend ages writing a message which will either be ignored or just deleted unread." * More or less I think like that at the moment. I sent a message today, because they winked at me. I received a reply after a few hours, but turned out the wink was accidental. It was nice enough she replied, so I might send messages again to someone else. | |||
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"I send first messages and I receive them. I don’t send a lot of messages but I do actively send them and probably get a 60/70% chat rate out of them. I see a lot of these threads and do wonder what people are doing to get the failure rates that they manage to achieve. If something isn’t working then maybe try something different? Yeah, have they tried being 6’7 and hung? It’s not hard guys get with the program but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples."
****
I know you are a nice guy, not just a "hot" guy.
Honestly I was chatting with friends/other guys from here "less hot".
Some of them had awesome profiles.
Nice photos with variety.
They were probably even nicer than you and you always come across nice towards me.
So I seriously doubt the personality or the contents of the message is the main decision factor for most.
I understand they get a lot of messages.
Those nice guys (not me) will never get through with their nice messages probably.
My guess is:
*Meh...Meh...Ew...Meh... Hot = Open their message...
I didn't say all, but most likely majority or a really high percentage doing it this way.
They are allowed to obviously, but you read completely contradicting admissions here. Nobody owns it, so many guy think they do something wrong, when in fact many doesn't. Just were less lucky genetically than others.
Again standing up for others and it will bite me in the arse soon.
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"Yes I have sent first messages on here. But recently I haven't as I'm not meeting anyone new at present. So I'm not doing any chats either. I also have kept filters very tight as I don't want a load of messages either it suits me and the way I run my profile. I don't see the point of getting a load of messages that I've no intention of reading or answering.That is just a waste of everyone's time and I've never seen the point of it. " *** Now that one is a reasonable point. Many just don't use filters, because they like the attention even from the guys they think: "EWWW" Like the 3000 Fabs on their photo. (Is there a prize for the most liked photo?) You made a valid, understandable and logical point here.
Take these^ as I'm clapping.
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"Rarely." *** Which one is the reason, if any of these? * * You don't need too, because loads do it anyway * A guy should make the first step messaging the woman, as it's polite,traditional...etc. | |||
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"All the time because if I didn't I'd never get a message " * You are the other contradiction to "Personality is more important". You never really interacted with me for whatever reason, BUT... * You are probably the most widely like/respected person from the Clique. Never even see you in any kind of debate. Your threads are always simple, but professional. Guess it has something to do with avoiding drama/sensitive topics. Plus I guess not much time, based on your threads usually on the same day (day off?). Probably just avoiding people who you don't like. My point is you're a little star here and definitely popular. Coming across nice or at least being civil. So I'd be curious how someone can explain your case? Come on ladies! Rate and Fab the fella! | |||
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"I send first messages and I receive them. I don’t send a lot of messages but I do actively send them and probably get a 60/70% chat rate out of them. I see a lot of these threads and do wonder what people are doing to get the failure rates that they manage to achieve. If something isn’t working then maybe try something different? Yeah, have they tried being 6’7 and hung? It’s not hard guys get with the program but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples."I’d say there’s few and far between Obviously you must see my point though? Height and being hung are probably the 2 most wanted physical traits for guys to have, you have both, and your confused why others are struggling? I’m not saying it’s just those traits that matter, I’m sure your great in plenty of other ways too, but Christ I bet it helps being in the top 0.0001% for height and probably the top 0.1% for hung | |||
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"Who don't you go to the Norwich social? Surely that's a great way to meet local women? *** I messaged all the women/couples online regularly at some point since I'm here (Closer to 2 years). 95% no reply. 5% no thanks or fooled me/chickened out You're the second women I've seen on forum in months from my area. Once I put an update up asking about testimonies from Norwich social. Not a single person messaged about it. Not even men, which is unusual.
Oh I see, sorry to hear that "*** Could you give me some opinion about Norwich socials please? How does it go with newbies? What's going on there in general? (I'm not expecting anyone will tear my clothes of in the entrance. Also I know it's a social and nothing guaranteed) Would be better in private probably. I swear I won't try anything and I never send dick pics anyway. Some would say I'm harmless. | |||
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"I would go alder way with her... ^" What a tree-rific pun ... | |||
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"Often enough. Its keeping momentum going that trips me up. " *** So you lose interest quickly in chatting? If yes, then it means: * You prefer not too much chat before meeting ? (Social or else) * No meeting, if you get bored/lost momentum while chatting? | |||
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"I always send the first message very rarely get a reply " *** I can honestly say now as a fact most guys are in the same shoes. Some are better in things, while some aren't. Some are Semi-Hot, but some are just minor league. This is the thing in common it seems. | |||
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"I have sent quite a few messages on here since I first joined and haven't received hardly any back from women but have had a few back from guy's and a couple from couples I just think it's really difficult to get to know women on here but I'm always hopeful xx" * No issues with guys usually. If you say you don't like something, they fuck off.
Some sends second or third, but they are mostly actually quite nice, usually the ones want to give you secret oral sex (Married?), but none were pushy.
Some was a bit of a dick, when I said I don't suck.
Not quoting, but equals to :
"You suck , you weirdo!"
Me: BLOCK
(Majority on my blocklist actually women and couples. Not because they didn't reply. They can behave worse than that^ guy, often I can see it in their bio before even messaging them. | |||
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"I’m going to be serious for a second. Away from the forums I’ve sent a lot. Not a single reply
I think I’ve probably sent one to everyone I’m interested in that’s within 20 miles. It’s an evil world but we move. "That's not entirely acurate!!! | |||
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"I’m going to be serious for a second. Away from the forums I’ve sent a lot. Not a single reply
I think I’ve probably sent one to everyone I’m interested in that’s within 20 miles. It’s an evil world but we move.
That's not entirely acurate!!!" isn’t it? | |||
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"I send first messages and I receive them. I don’t send a lot of messages but I do actively send them and probably get a 60/70% chat rate out of them. I see a lot of these threads and do wonder what people are doing to get the failure rates that they manage to achieve. If something isn’t working then maybe try something different? Yeah, have they tried being 6’7 and hung? It’s not hard guys get with the program but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples."I am probably one of the blokes who fits what you describe , a year and a half on here with zero meets . But the bloke from Norwich you were replying to made some valid points . I used to message local couples and single women during my first six months on here , probably sending maybe 10 messages a week, but did not receive one single reply. I've always been active on the forums ,and I have checked put the profiles of the single blokes on here who do have success ,and 99% of them that have dozens of verifications (including yours ) are gym fit ,toned ,muscluer and hung . There us a clear pattern that a certain type of physique will have success on here. That's fine ,I don't believe for one minute that success isn't related to physique. With respect, you can always guarantee that blokes who say they can't understand why sone guys on here struggle ,are the gym fit ,toned, hung guys ,who never have any problems getting a meet . | |||
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"I send first messages and I receive them. I don’t send a lot of messages but I do actively send them and probably get a 60/70% chat rate out of them. I see a lot of these threads and do wonder what people are doing to get the failure rates that they manage to achieve. If something isn’t working then maybe try something different? Yeah, have they tried being 6’7 and hung? It’s not hard guys get with the program but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples.
I’d say there’s few and far between
Obviously you must see my point though? Height and being hung are probably the 2 most wanted physical traits for guys to have, you have both, and your confused why others are struggling?
I’m not saying it’s just those traits that matter, I’m sure your great in plenty of other ways too, but Christ I bet it helps being in the top 0.0001% for height and probably the top 0.1% for hung "I can understand why the blokes with dozens of meets under belt can't understand why the rest of us struggle. Why would they ? They have the body ,are hung ,and toned, so they will never have ,and probably never will experience Fab from the side if the fence the rest if us work from . | |||
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"We always send the first message. And you've sent one message a month for the past 2 months and are upset that those 2 people passed you up. That's erm pretty sensitive dude." I’m crying because you haven’t sent me one! | |||
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"I send first messages and I receive them. I don’t send a lot of messages but I do actively send them and probably get a 60/70% chat rate out of them. I see a lot of these threads and do wonder what people are doing to get the failure rates that they manage to achieve. If something isn’t working then maybe try something different? Yeah, have they tried being 6’7 and hung? It’s not hard guys get with the program but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples.
I’d say there’s few and far between
Obviously you must see my point though? Height and being hung are probably the 2 most wanted physical traits for guys to have, you have both, and your confused why others are struggling?
I’m not saying it’s just those traits that matter, I’m sure your great in plenty of other ways too, but Christ I bet it helps being in the top 0.0001% for height and probably the top 0.1% for hung
I can understand why the blokes with dozens of meets under belt can't understand why the rest of us struggle. Why would they ? They have the body ,are hung ,and toned, so they will never have ,and probably never will experience Fab from the side if the fence the rest if us work from ."You bring this point up time and time again. I'm almost 59, I can count on one hand the number of times I've stepped inside a gym and the last time was 10 years ago. I've got a dick that's less than 6 inches and I've never been to a club but at the handful of socials I've attended the most popular guys there were the ones who could hold a conversation and make women laugh. They were all shapes and sizes. Some guys think that the more messages they send the more they can play the victim card when they don't get replies. I've never once tried ticking boxes on here or tried being something or someone because it might attract more attention. I've had normal conversations with women that don't involve sex at all and I don't blow smoke up their arse and tell them how stunning they are and over time I've built up a small circle of friends. I put effort into just being me but if the real me was whinging and moaning all the time I wouldn't be surprised if nobody wanted to meet me. | |||
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" but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples."I challenge you to find a profile of a single bloke who is overweight ,has flabby bits everywhere ,who isn't hung ,who isn't toned and tall who has had meets . You say most blokes have awful pictures ,but people can only show photos of the body they have ,and the vast majority of us have the body we were given , flabby bits, man boobs ,the lot. With respect , whenever these debates happen on the forum, it's always the toned ,gym fit , hung blokes who have no problems getting meets and have dozens of verifications who can't understand why the rest of us who have a less attractive physique struggle. | |||
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" but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples.
I challenge you to find a profile of a single bloke who is overweight ,has flabby bits everywhere ,who isn't hung ,who isn't toned and tall who has had meets .
You say most blokes have awful pictures ,but people can only show photos of the body they have ,and the vast majority of us have the body we were given , flabby bits, man boobs ,the lot.
With respect , whenever these debates happen on the forum, it's always the toned ,gym fit , hung blokes who have no problems getting meets and have dozens of verifications who can't understand why the rest of us who have a less attractive physique struggle. "If you _genuinely_ think that height, endowment and body shape are the only things that matter then why are you still here? I know from personal experience that you _can_ change your body shape. I also know that it is a long, hard slog that involves lifestyle changes and choices and many people don’t want to do that. That’s fine and I accept that. But don’t use the fact that you don’t want to spend time on it as a reason you can’t get meets. The reality is that if you did spend time on changing your body then you would get meets but not because of your new body shape. What would have changed is positivity about yourself. | |||
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" but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples.
I challenge you to find a profile of a single bloke who is overweight ,has flabby bits everywhere ,who isn't hung ,who isn't toned and tall who has had meets .
You say most blokes have awful pictures ,but people can only show photos of the body they have ,and the vast majority of us have the body we were given , flabby bits, man boobs ,the lot.
With respect , whenever these debates happen on the forum, it's always the toned ,gym fit , hung blokes who have no problems getting meets and have dozens of verifications who can't understand why the rest of us who have a less attractive physique struggle. "Look buddy On one hand, yes the forum loves to under play how much physical traits matter. I’d say a lot a third of profiles around me have either a strict height requirement or only want hung. They clearly matter On the other hand, go to a club or a social (or even just outside into the real world) and there’s very clearly endless examples of guys that are doing just fine without those things Yeah the forum sucks for pretending that none of that matters You also suck for pretending that’s all that matters If you aren’t having success on here messaging, get to a social or a club. Or go where it’s easier like the dating apps. Or just go out to a pub on a Friday night. I got very little success on here, but women approach be fairly often on a night out You’re an ok looking dude and your 6ft. Your doing better then most, go out there and find success where you can, don’t wallow in the areas you can’t. Fab isn’t designed to work for most men. So don’t stress about it | |||
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"I’ve sent a few first messages out this time round…. And I was stopped again because of what happens when you send those first messages. Nothing.
***
Nothing is the best scenario of rejection.
Most annoying one is, when you actually taking the time and write all the right things they mention often. Write something from their bio...etc as well.
*
They open it, then 5 seconds later it's deleted.
It makes you feel you've been treated the same as if you would have sent a dick pic or "Wanna fuck" , " Free now".
(Inbox can store a lot of messages without deletion = You can do it later)"You may write the perfect message. It might address things in their profile, tick all the boxes of banter however if there’s something on yours they don’t like, it’s game over. | |||
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" but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples.
I challenge you to find a profile of a single bloke who is overweight ,has flabby bits everywhere ,who isn't hung ,who isn't toned and tall who has had meets .
You say most blokes have awful pictures ,but people can only show photos of the body they have ,and the vast majority of us have the body we were given , flabby bits, man boobs ,the lot.
With respect , whenever these debates happen on the forum, it's always the toned ,gym fit , hung blokes who have no problems getting meets and have dozens of verifications who can't understand why the rest of us who have a less attractive physique struggle.
If you _genuinely_ think that height, endowment and body shape are the only things that matter then why are you still here?
I know from personal experience that you _can_ change your body shape. I also know that it is a long, hard slog that involves lifestyle changes and choices and many people don’t want to do that. That’s fine and I accept that. But don’t use the fact that you don’t want to spend time on it as a reason you can’t get meets.
The reality is that if you did spend time on changing your body then you would get meets but not because of your new body shape. What would have changed is positivity about yourself. "I'm just posting my opinion on the evidence ive seen when viewing blokes profiles , ie , men with gym physiquetined and hung v men with the body they were given ,and seeing the success of the first group ,and they amount of meets they have , its clear that those of us in the second group have no chance . I'm in my 50's ,and I remember the days before the gyms and working out were trendy and fashionable when every bloke looked roughly the same, body wise . Now it seems as if men have to have a six pack and look like Popeye on spinich and be hung like a horse to be attractive to women .Reading your verifications seems to back that up . You say that you can't understand why so many struggle so much ,but, with respect in your position , you will never know why so many of us single blokes struggle. | |||
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" Now it seems as if men have to have a six pack and look like Popeye on spinich and be hung like a horse to be attractive to women .Reading your verifications seems to back that up . You say that you can't understand why so many struggle so much ,but, with respect in your position , you will never know why so many of us single blokes struggle. " I dispute this wholeheartedly! That maybe the case for some but I’ve been with all types of men! (Hold your slut comments please!) all races, shapes, heights! Ive had the ripped guys be arsed to me and rejected them. We don’t all follow that stereotypical fab opinion. All men are capable of being deleted based on their bio and message  | |||
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" Somewhat agree, somewhat disagree. There are popular guys (10%) here as well. I've never seen any of them complaining about getting too much messages....etc. I'd bet you the most popular guys on here probably don't get messaged first as much as the least popular women. Most popular on the site as in the hottest guys, I’d say they probably do if they have their filters down. Because men will message them. But if say a straight really attractive guy was only accepting messages from women I reckon they would probably get very few messages still. And I think that’s mostly down to the fact that it seems like women in the site possibly don’t message send first messages at the same rate. Maybe because they don’t have to. Maybe because they’re more likely to be successful. Who knows. " Sorry, I mean specifically straight guys with the right filters. And that's exactly it, women don't have to. | |||
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"The negativity is what spoils some mens' chances more than the lack of a sodding six pack. It is seeping through this thread. " Absolutely it screams woe is me | |||
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"The negativity is what spoils some mens' chances more than the lack of a sodding six pack. It is seeping through this thread. " | |||
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"I never get replies" Same 
Although I don't message. | |||
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"I sent 2 messages in the last 2 months. Probably I will stop doing it again. 1. I sent it only because of the naughty username. (Not quoting, but her username was similar to "SplitMyBum") I deleted it after a week being yellow, but I've seen daily online activity. 2. A local couple winked at me. I winked back and I was doubting, if I should send a message. *They might have hit wink button instead of block button. *They might have winked on purpose, but their bio says "not looking for single man". (Local ladies in my area are less approachable, than rockstars. It's only a slight exaggeration. The reason I never go to Norwich social) *They might be waiting for me to take the first step. Well, I messaged. No pain, no gain. Right? Still unread and I will delete it in a week probably. most likely I will block them as well. *** Before you say the cliche: You're negative...bla...bla...bla You won't get anything without trying...bla...bla...bla * I'm here since 2022. I tried everything literally. I didn't give it up, but sending message only if I can see a slight chance. Otherwise I feel like I'm begging. Humiliating myself and keep checking it's read or unread...etc. I'm so much more chilled since I don't care. I make effort for the ones deserve it. *** What's your experience with messaging first? How often are you sending first message? Are you sending a lot or limiting it? Did you give up sending first message? *** I'm not ranting or complaining. I'm okay actually, but won't pretend it's all my fault and nobody is unapproachable. I'm happy!See? "So, it seems that what you're asking is a variation of "why don't I get replies?". Apologies if I've misconstrued that. What I get from your profile is a lack of confidence, from the written part which starts with a list of things you're not, to your photos which all seem like you're trying to conceal something unflattering. You could reword your profile to list the good things you are, and take some photos where you look happy and comfortable, but if you're fundamentally not confident and overthink everything and doubt yourself, people will struggle to engage with you. Swinging has a high failure rate for men generally, no matter how confident they are, but if you're shy and anxious you'll find it infinitely more difficult to attract people. I would suggest working on other things to build your confidence before you start putting yourself out there, because exposing yourself to the kind of rejection that is routine in the lifestyle may not be a healthy move. Best of luck. | |||
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" but you are missing the point - how come there are guys on here who do well and they don’t have my body shape?
The quality of messaging on here can be atrocious. Most profiles are awful and their pictures horrendous. People are shooting themselves in the foot before they even start. It doesn’t take much to stand out if you stop making some basic mistakes - that goes for males, females and couples.
I challenge you to find a profile of a single bloke who is overweight ,has flabby bits everywhere ,who isn't hung ,who isn't toned and tall who has had meets .
You say most blokes have awful pictures ,but people can only show photos of the body they have ,and the vast majority of us have the body we were given , flabby bits, man boobs ,the lot.
With respect , whenever these debates happen on the forum, it's always the toned ,gym fit , hung blokes who have no problems getting meets and have dozens of verifications who can't understand why the rest of us who have a less attractive physique struggle. "I'm not naming names, but guys who aren't gym fit do meet all the time. The fact that you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. And if you think that meeting is important and that an "attractive physique" is the way to get there... go to the gym? | |||
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"I sent 2 messages in the last 2 months. Probably I will stop doing it again. 1. I sent it only because of the naughty username. (Not quoting, but her username was similar to "SplitMyBum") I deleted it after a week being yellow, but I've seen daily online activity. 2. A local couple winked at me. I winked back and I was doubting, if I should send a message. *They might have hit wink button instead of block button. *They might have winked on purpose, but their bio says "not looking for single man". (Local ladies in my area are less approachable, than rockstars. It's only a slight exaggeration. The reason I never go to Norwich social) *They might be waiting for me to take the first step. Well, I messaged. No pain, no gain. Right? Still unread and I will delete it in a week probably. most likely I will block them as well. *** Before you say the cliche: You're negative...bla...bla...bla You won't get anything without trying...bla...bla...bla * I'm here since 2022. I tried everything literally. I didn't give it up, but sending message only if I can see a slight chance. Otherwise I feel like I'm begging. Humiliating myself and keep checking it's read or unread...etc. I'm so much more chilled since I don't care. I make effort for the ones deserve it. *** What's your experience with messaging first? How often are you sending first message? Are you sending a lot or limiting it? Did you give up sending first message? *** I'm not ranting or complaining. I'm okay actually, but won't pretend it's all my fault and nobody is unapproachable. I'm happy!See?
So, it seems that what you're asking is a variation of "why don't I get replies?". Apologies if I've misconstrued that.
What I get from your profile is a lack of confidence, from the written part which starts with a list of things you're not, to your photos which all seem like you're trying to conceal something unflattering.
You could reword your profile to list the good things you are, and take some photos where you look happy and comfortable, but if you're fundamentally not confident and overthink everything and doubt yourself, people will struggle to engage with you.
Swinging has a high failure rate for men generally, no matter how confident they are, but if you're shy and anxious you'll find it infinitely more difficult to attract people.
I would suggest working on other things to build your confidence before you start putting yourself out there, because exposing yourself to the kind of rejection that is routine in the lifestyle may not be a healthy move.
Best of luck."*** Thanks for the building critic.
You went off slightly, but appreciate what you tried to do I guess.
It's more like "This is why I don't message often/anymore" or pretty much show the difference in success/replies.
You can clearly see some pattern, not necessary has anything to do with confidence.
*
I don't conceal anything except my face, but it was taken off a week ago.
My profile supposed to be funny(ish) with sarcasm/irony. Some gets it, some don't.
People don't get it, won't get me either.
People rather look at shit profiles than shit and boring ones, so I won't list my good stuff again.
I did before and...
Not much I can do with my appearance.
I'm comfortable with myself, but I wouldn't say I'm proud of my body.
(FYI: My belly doesn't bother me)
"I'm not"....was intended as a joke.
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"In reply to several messages on this thread: I'm 5'7" (5'8" on a good day), I have a face for radio and an incipient dadbod, and my little buddy, though not small, it hardly the Louisville Slugger some guys on here are packing. And yet I do very well with women, always have. Not only is the woman I'm married to smart, funny, gorgeous and sexy, but she's just fine with watching me bang other hot women. Bit of a lottery win, I'm sure you'll agree. Outside of swinging it's because I've learned how to be funny and interesting, and above all how to put women at ease and make them feel special and beautiful. Inside of swinging, it's because - and this will be a tough sell for some - most women don't list "chiselled jawline", or "huge muscles" or "massive cock" in their top ten of desired traits in a guy. To be fair a lot of them do look for taller men than me, but I've found that they're very flexible on that if you can make them smile. There is a small minority of women on the hunt exclusively for Chris Hemsworth, but the irony is those women experience the most disappointment of all of us. To quote FDR, "do what you can with what you have where you are." Lamenting that hotter guys get more pussy than you is a pointless waste of time, and does nothing to increase your own appeal." Indeed. Most of my favourite people in the swinging scene don't lift weights or even go to the gym or anything like that. Some of the same people are short by male standards, etc. Be you, and be the best version of you. Complaining about how it's not fair gets you nothing but eye rolls. | |||
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