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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTable OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Quoted from a previous post

"a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs"

Now I disagree very much 3/4 way attraction is extremely difficult never mind getting to the point of finding a good 3/4 way connection.

So my questions are why do (some) people think it's easy for us women in couples?

Who do you think had it easiest on fab?

I'd love to hear from other women of couples on how easy you have it? Maybe I'm the odd one out not finding this easy?

Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck?

(Disclaimer I do not speak for the masses, my post from my mind on my opinion)

Mrs

Happy new year all.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"

Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck?

"

I'm just here to say I take exception to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think 3 way/4 way attraction/ connection is extremely difficult to get.

If I'm meeting a single guy as a single female it's a lot less complicated for that reason alone.

I like couples but it's hard to find on fab. I find it easier to chat/ meet couples when I'm at a club.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTable OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"

Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck?

I'm just here to say I take exception to that "

Do you find fab easy as a single woman?

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"

Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck?

I'm just here to say I take exception to that

Do you find fab easy as a single woman? "

Yes. I've got a relaxed attitude and straightforward approach to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Just my opinion a single woman will be able to cherry pick if she was to open her profile and DMs to anyone.

That must feel easy, if like you said, they don’t realy care who you’re hooking up with. (Because casual sex is easy)

I understand what you’re saying op, imagine finding someone you like, and your partner doesn’t like them or their partner. So a couple must be hard, man or woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d assume you’d get slightly less grief on here being part of a couple but I completely get that getting a 3/4 way attraction must be almost impossible!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves "

But there’s fabguys. Their pool of looking for people to get along with is huge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easiest doesn’t mean easy

Would I prefer to be a guy where there’s 1000 of men to every women/couple and the majority of my messages get buried and left unopened

Or would I prefer to be a woman/couple where my inbox is always busy and the challenge is finding one of the endless options I like?

And that’s before we even take into account that it’s 2-3x more expensive for the guy to go to a club and when in the club (or group social) single guys are often seen as pervs/creeps until they prove otherwise

It can be pretty disheartening as a single guy seeing the vast majority of your messages go unopened, very rarely receiving a first message yourself, and then being prejudged in any club or social environment. Does anyone wonder why it’s a struggle finding a quality single guy? Because most leave fairly early for avenues that aren’t as tough or judgemental

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else


"

Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck?

I'm just here to say I take exception to that

Do you find fab easy as a single woman? "

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTable OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Easiest doesn’t mean easy

Would I prefer to be a guy where there’s 1000 of men to every women/couple and the majority of my messages get buried and left unopened

Or would I prefer to be a woman/couple where my inbox is always busy and the challenge is finding one of the endless options I like?

And that’s before we even take into account that it’s 2-3x more expensive for the guy to go to a club and when in the club (or group social) single guys are often seen as pervs/creeps until they prove otherwise

It can be pretty disheartening as a single guy seeing the vast majority of your messages go unopened, very rarely receiving a first message yourself, and then being prejudged in any club or social environment. Does anyone wonder why it’s a struggle finding a quality single guy? Because most leave fairly early for avenues that aren’t as tough or judgemental "

My inbox isn't busy, I'm not sure why you'd think that, maybe 1-3 messages a week and usually from single men (we don't meet men)

Some people do have assumption on how others fine it.

Mrs

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTable OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"

Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck?

I'm just here to say I take exception to that

Do you find fab easy as a single woman?

Yes. I've got a relaxed attitude and straightforward approach to it"

That's great I'm pleased you find it easy on here.

Mrs

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

It's not easy.

Are the offers there? Yes they are but finding a single person we both like, nevermind a couple isn't easy.

P might not be involved sexually right now but I won't meet anyone that he isn't going to get on with.

I've found people I like that he doesn't and vice versa.

Em x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm bottom of the pile

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

On Holibobs

I could get a fuck a night, if I didn't give a toss, about who came round to penetrate me.

Sifting through fab is hard work, clubs are easier to find that attraction and chemistry

I am extremely thankful for the filters on here

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants


"Quoted from a previous post

"a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs"

Now I disagree very much 3/4 way attraction is extremely difficult never mind getting to the point of finding a good 3/4 way connection.

So my questions are why do (some) people think it's easy for us women in couples?

Who do you think had it easiest on fab?

I'd love to hear from other women of couples on how easy you have it? Maybe I'm the odd one out not finding this easy?

Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck?

(Disclaimer I do not speak for the masses, my post from my mind on my opinion)

Mrs

Happy new year all."

If 3/4 way attraction isn't enough of a challenge, add in coordinating 4 diaries, plus children's after school activities.

I imagine it's like planning a military campaign.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTable OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Quoted from a previous post

"a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs"

Now I disagree very much 3/4 way attraction is extremely difficult never mind getting to the point of finding a good 3/4 way connection.

So my questions are why do (some) people think it's easy for us women in couples?

Who do you think had it easiest on fab?

I'd love to hear from other women of couples on how easy you have it? Maybe I'm the odd one out not finding this easy?

Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck?

(Disclaimer I do not speak for the masses, my post from my mind on my opinion)

Mrs

Happy new year all.

If 3/4 way attraction isn't enough of a challenge, add in coordinating 4 diaries, plus children's after school activities.

I imagine it's like planning a military campaign. "

We have the same issues, childcare, diaries I'm sure every parent does.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quoted from a previous post

"a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs"

If 3/4 way attraction isn't enough of a challenge, add in coordinating 4 diaries, plus children's after school activities.

I imagine it's like planning a military campaign. "

This pretty much sums up my experiences. Finding people on my couples profile is far more complicated, and there is a lot less interest from other people. The interest a single woman's profile garners on here is overwhelming, so I choose to put my filters up and do my own searching and messaging. On the couples profile messages are fewer, and if one of us finds someone we like the other might not feel an attraction, or the prospective sex partner/s won't like one of us. Or the child free weekends won't align.

Even attending social events is complicated as in our area they are all on weekends we have parenting responsibilities, so we've been travelling to the Midlands for the past 18 months just so we can attend one together.

Also, on the forum I'm more likely to get replies to posts on this profile.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Us Tgirls have it the hardest. Being so fabulous all of the time requires a lot of blood sacrifices and eventually someone will realise that there are a lot of people unaccounted for and there is a bloody altar inside a pentagram on my back garden, next to the bins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The easiest position on fab is single male.

You know you’re going to ignored, rejected and often ridiculed. If you have low expectations, you’re never disappointed.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Fab is easy for us because we don't really use it to arrange meets. We use it for the forums, to chat to friends via message and look for interesting events.

Despite that we've still found people via here to do the sex with and people we plan to do the sex with. But finding the attraction has been through finding real life chemistry in person.

Messages, we get maybe 3 or so a week. More if a new picture or video goes up. But because we don't have 'looking for men' switched on we don't appear in searches or updates. So no inbox stress and we can go looking when we want to.

This way suits us because we don't have much spare time to arrange and go for private socials. If we were doing that fab would be much harder. If we finding and arranging things using only the Fab platform it would be so hard we'd need a cheat code.

I think the point the person was trying to make was that the woman of a couple already has a partner and that it's relatively easy to find someone to meet here as a woman. The person didn't pay the slightest attention to attraction or dynamics though.

J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd genuinely say single male, as you don't have to deal the silly messages every day, or the creeps.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Gawd that was an essay. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The easiest position on fab is single male.

You know you’re going to ignored, rejected and often ridiculed. If you have low expectations, you’re never disappointed. "

You can’t argue with this logic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been on a couples profile I wouldn't say it as easier, you get less messages for a start.

3/4 way attraction is exceptionally hard, especially if one or both of you is picky. Even worse if one of you doesn't want someone better than them in the mix.

Single guys won't be so interested because you're already getting it, they'll feel intimidated in the sense that they know your partner knows how to get you off and they still need to learn that or just perform brilliantly, that's a pressure they put on themselves, and guys like having a woman to themselves that's available to them, not someone who's not going to meet often because of their other half.

Any women you contact are likey to think the guys behind it all. You're not actually bi even if you state you are and they will think you just want your fantasy filled with no consideration to them.

Initiating and keeping conversations going is hard let alone more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think anyone has it easy but aren’t all things worth while hard to achieve ?

Obviously the people with lower standards will find it easier to meet similar with the same approach, personally I’d rather have no meets than the wrong meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The easiest position on fab is single male.

You know you’re going to ignored, rejected and often ridiculed. If you have low expectations, you’re never disappointed. "

To be fair, their might be some truth to that

The paradox of choice. More choices is only good up until a certain point. After that the abundance of choices is too much and people end up picking nothing.

Ultimately, it’s not easy for anyone and I think we’d all benefit if our relationships started off a little more organically in real life. Reducing people to a few pictures and a bio (remember that words only make up a fraction of actual communication) isn’t ideal for finding what you want

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"

Single guys won't be so interested because you're already getting it, they'll feel intimidated in the sense that they know your partner knows how to get you off and they still need to learn that or just perform brilliantly, that's a pressure they put on themselves, and guys like having a woman to themselves that's available to them, not someone who's not going to meet often because of their other half.

"

I can’t speak for other guys but I don’t find any of that is true for me and the couples I meet. In my experience couples want to meet single guys because they want something different. How a wife gets off with hubby will be totally different to how she does it with me - and that is the point.

I don’t feel any pressure to perform - just let everyone turn up and enjoy themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves "

Why?

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We all have it difficult and we all have it easy on here.

Guys can go searching for the right people as they don’t get a lot of messages.

Women can pick and choose but they have hundreds upon hundreds of messages to go through to find that one.

Couples - having that 3/4 way attraction is difficult. Or getting 4 people chatting is almost impossible.

If you just want a fuck then women do have easier. But most of the time, it’s not what they want with some random person.

But people also make it harder for themselves on here.

A lot of guys just have cock pics and see this site as a fuck and go.

Couples generally have pics of the lady and a standard cock pic of the guy or none at all - like it shouldn’t matter what the guy looks like.

I wouldn’t say anyone has it easier at all.

We’ve both been singles on here, obviously with wildly different inboxes…now we are more in the middle, to lower end of messages.

But having saying 50 messages a day doesn’t mean we’ve got 50 opportunities - 40 odd of those are from people who we delete straight away (cock pics, action shots, no avatar/profile) , some we’ll politely decline, some may be messages from friends and then maybe 1% is of someone of interest.

There’s no easy option but people can make it easier.

K

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing to do with sex is easy, but the best position thing I understand. Best being relative of course.

1. You already have an available cock(well most of you)

2. There are shed loads of men (and women) willing to join couples

3. You are ready made for clubs and events

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I realise now I'm probably bucking the norm because I like the lack of messages. I like the messages from people I chat to though.

J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves

Why? "

Because we’re dogs

Open fabguys or the gay app and I can usually get a Meetup that day. Sometimes within minutes if I get lucky

If I accidentally open the gay app and it registers me online for that 0.1 second, the next time I open it I usually have 5-10 messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves

Why?

Because we’re dogs

Open fabguys or the gay app and I can usually get a Meetup that day. Sometimes within minutes if I get lucky

If I accidentally open the gay app and it registers me online for that 0.1 second, the next time I open it I usually have 5-10 messages "

That doesn’t make it ‘easier’ unless easy means no standards and no self esteem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves

Why?

Because we’re dogs

Open fabguys or the gay app and I can usually get a Meetup that day. Sometimes within minutes if I get lucky

If I accidentally open the gay app and it registers me online for that 0.1 second, the next time I open it I usually have 5-10 messages

That doesn’t make it ‘easier’ unless easy means no standards and no self esteem.

"

Having more options vs less options is easier

You don’t have to drop your standards, but having 50 options to choose from is better than none

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!


"Quoted from a previous post

"a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs"

Now I disagree very much 3/4 way attraction is extremely difficult never mind getting to the point of finding a good 3/4 way connection.

So my questions are why do (some) people think it's easy for us women in couples?

Who do you think had it easiest on fab?

I'd love to hear from other women of couples on how easy you have it? Maybe I'm the odd one out not finding this easy?

Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck?

(Disclaimer I do not speak for the masses, my post from my mind on my opinion)

Mrs

Happy new year all."

We said this to a friend setting up a solo male profile after years of being here asa couple (they’re thinking of playing separately).

Whilst a single women may get 100 messages in a day in response to a pic. Only 1-2 may be suitable. So the volume isn’t the best indicator. As you said it only benefits you if you don’t care who you fuck.

The simple fact is, nothing replaces hard work and effort in the process of getting a social or meet.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

The people who are in the best position are the ones who take it the least seriously and have the most realistic expectations I think.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTable OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"The people who are in the best position are the ones who take it the least seriously and have the most realistic expectations I think. "

Now this I absolutely agree with!

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves

Why?

Because we’re dogs

Open fabguys or the gay app and I can usually get a Meetup that day. Sometimes within minutes if I get lucky

If I accidentally open the gay app and it registers me online for that 0.1 second, the next time I open it I usually have 5-10 messages

That doesn’t make it ‘easier’ unless easy means no standards and no self esteem.

Having more options vs less options is easier

You don’t have to drop your standards, but having 50 options to choose from is better than none "

I get more messages on here than I ever did on fabguys but I take your point.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's as easy as you want it to be based upon how you view it and set things up for yourself. Set yourself unobtainable goals and you are going to have a tough time.

Being selective and fussy as fuck as a single man on here is the easiest fucking thing in the world.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I think everyone will look at this through the benefit (or otherwise) of their own lens.

Everyone has an equal opportunity to look for those they find attractive physically, mentally, geographically, availability-wise. But not everyone will be able to find people that fit all of their criteria.

For example, where I live I don't even have a 20 mile radius of land mass to search on... if you think of it as a clock face, the land mass is between about 3 and 6. Go to 25 miles and there are absolutely loads of people 25 miles away... but they're in Wales and that's 200 miles away. So I'm already "fishing in a tiny pool" if I'm searching for people relatively locally to meet.

Add to that the fact I'm not your typically attractive woman... and the "pool" gets smaller.

So I could say that actually it isn't women, or men, or couples or tv/ts who have it easy, it's people who live in landlocked cities.

But it all depends on who and what you're looking for, and what your parameters are. I realised quickly when I joined fab (approximately 137 years ago) that I either had to change who I was attracted to, or change the distance I'd travel, or change my expectations of meet frequency. There's one of the three I'm not changing, so I've travelled to meet people I wanted to meet. And they've travelled to meet me. Might not be as often as either of us have liked, but we have made it work.

I will say that adding more people into the mix of attraction is always going to make it more difficult, three way attraction is hard enough and four way must be a nightmare! So I don't envy couples who are looking for that. But it can be found, you just have to decide which parameters you are willing to change.

Changing your expectations of fab makes it more fun and easier for anyone.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I think everyone will look at this through the benefit (or otherwise) of their own lens.

Everyone has an equal opportunity to look for those they find attractive physically, mentally, geographically, availability-wise. But not everyone will be able to find people that fit all of their criteria.

For example, where I live I don't even have a 20 mile radius of land mass to search on... if you think of it as a clock face, the land mass is between about 3 and 6. Go to 25 miles and there are absolutely loads of people 25 miles away... but they're in Wales and that's 200 miles away. So I'm already "fishing in a tiny pool" if I'm searching for people relatively locally to meet.

Add to that the fact I'm not your typically attractive woman... and the "pool" gets smaller.

So I could say that actually it isn't women, or men, or couples or tv/ts who have it easy, it's people who live in landlocked cities.

But it all depends on who and what you're looking for, and what your parameters are. I realised quickly when I joined fab (approximately 137 years ago) that I either had to change who I was attracted to, or change the distance I'd travel, or change my expectations of meet frequency. There's one of the three I'm not changing, so I've travelled to meet people I wanted to meet. And they've travelled to meet me. Might not be as often as either of us have liked, but we have made it work.

I will say that adding more people into the mix of attraction is always going to make it more difficult, three way attraction is hard enough and four way must be a nightmare! So I don't envy couples who are looking for that. But it can be found, you just have to decide which parameters you are willing to change.

Changing your expectations of fab makes it more fun and easier for anyone."

That's what I said! Kind of...

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I think everyone will look at this through the benefit (or otherwise) of their own lens.

Everyone has an equal opportunity to look for those they find attractive physically, mentally, geographically, availability-wise. But not everyone will be able to find people that fit all of their criteria.

For example, where I live I don't even have a 20 mile radius of land mass to search on... if you think of it as a clock face, the land mass is between about 3 and 6. Go to 25 miles and there are absolutely loads of people 25 miles away... but they're in Wales and that's 200 miles away. So I'm already "fishing in a tiny pool" if I'm searching for people relatively locally to meet.

Add to that the fact I'm not your typically attractive woman... and the "pool" gets smaller.

So I could say that actually it isn't women, or men, or couples or tv/ts who have it easy, it's people who live in landlocked cities.

But it all depends on who and what you're looking for, and what your parameters are. I realised quickly when I joined fab (approximately 137 years ago) that I either had to change who I was attracted to, or change the distance I'd travel, or change my expectations of meet frequency. There's one of the three I'm not changing, so I've travelled to meet people I wanted to meet. And they've travelled to meet me. Might not be as often as either of us have liked, but we have made it work.

I will say that adding more people into the mix of attraction is always going to make it more difficult, three way attraction is hard enough and four way must be a nightmare! So I don't envy couples who are looking for that. But it can be found, you just have to decide which parameters you are willing to change.

Changing your expectations of fab makes it more fun and easier for anyone.

That's what I said! Kind of... "

You're better at it. I ramble.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset


"I'd genuinely say single male, as you don't have to deal the silly messages every day, or the creeps.

"

Correct answer!

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 01/01/24 11:23:40]

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"I'd genuinely say single male, as you don't have to deal the silly messages every day, or the creeps.

Correct answer!"

This .

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset


"

For example, where I live I don't even have a 20 mile radius of land mass to search on... if you think of it as a clock face, the land mass is between about 3 and 6. Go to 25 miles and there are absolutely loads of people 25 miles away... but they're in Wales and that's 200 miles away. So I'm already "fishing in a tiny pool" if I'm searching for people relatively locally to meet.

Add to that the fact I'm not your typically attractive woman... and the "pool" gets smaller.

So I could say that actually it isn't women, or men, or couples or tv/ts who have it easy, it's people who live in landlocked cities.

."

Yes... Geography plays a big part! People always think I'm inundated... But Portsmouth is actually an island there's nothing east, west or south... Unless you want to cross the water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Black men have it easiest obviously x

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTable OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Fab is easy for us because we don't really use it to arrange meets. We use it for the forums, to chat to friends via message and look for interesting events.

Despite that we've still found people via here to do the sex with and people we plan to do the sex with. But finding the attraction has been through finding real life chemistry in person.

Messages, we get maybe 3 or so a week. More if a new picture or video goes up. But because we don't have 'looking for men' switched on we don't appear in searches or updates. So no inbox stress and we can go looking when we want to.

This way suits us because we don't have much spare time to arrange and go for private socials. If we were doing that fab would be much harder. If we finding and arranging things using only the Fab platform it would be so hard we'd need a cheat code.

I think the point the person was trying to make was that the woman of a couple already has a partner and that it's relatively easy to find someone to meet here as a woman. The person didn't pay the slightest attention to attraction or dynamics though.

J"

We are the same as you guys, we don't look to meet from here these days it's near on impossible online only for me, I much prefer the organised socials and stay for the forums.

Mrs

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Happy New Year darling OP.

I’ve no idea. I don’t treat it like a competition because life isn’t one…

I just do me. I’m happy with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd assume they think it's easy because the woman has a pussy and an available cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t think anyone has it easy but aren’t all things worth while hard to achieve ?

Obviously the people with lower standards will find it easier to meet similar with the same approach, personally I’d rather have no meets than the wrong meets "

It's not necessarily lower standards. Some people like people and so will find loads to meet. Doesn't make them any 'lesser' than people who can't find anyone they like.

Some of the nicest people on here have/ had 1,000+ veris and they certainly aren't of a lesser standard of people.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Us Tgirls have it the hardest. Being so fabulous all of the time requires a lot of blood sacrifices and eventually someone will realise that there are a lot of people unaccounted for and there is a bloody altar inside a pentagram on my back garden, next to the bins "

I use a pop-up altar and the pentagram is on a roll-up mat. My neighbourhood's also now curiously free of cats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t think anyone has it easy but aren’t all things worth while hard to achieve ?

Obviously the people with lower standards will find it easier to meet similar with the same approach, personally I’d rather have no meets than the wrong meets

It's not necessarily lower standards. Some people like people and so will find loads to meet. Doesn't make them any 'lesser' than people who can't find anyone they like.

Some of the nicest people on here have/ had 1,000+ veris and they certainly aren't of a lesser standard of people. "

Good point, hate this idea that those who meet more have lower standards, instead of just different standards

My ex is on here and meets often. She also takes the time to message guys first, puts effort into the conversation and actually goes after what she wants

Now, clearly she had incredibly low standards when she dated me, but she meets some quality guys on here and has a great time

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves

Why?

Because we’re dogs

Open fabguys or the gay app and I can usually get a Meetup that day. Sometimes within minutes if I get lucky

If I accidentally open the gay app and it registers me online for that 0.1 second, the next time I open it I usually have 5-10 messages

That doesn’t make it ‘easier’ unless easy means no standards and no self esteem.

"

I completely agree with Glow... I could get laid daily if I had no standards and didn't give a damn who I was opening my legs for. A visit to fabguys means being bombarded with entitled guys treating you like a convenient orifice. Throw any self-respect or standards into the mix and it gets much, much harder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t think anyone has it easy but aren’t all things worth while hard to achieve ?

Obviously the people with lower standards will find it easier to meet similar with the same approach, personally I’d rather have no meets than the wrong meets

It's not necessarily lower standards. Some people like people and so will find loads to meet. Doesn't make them any 'lesser' than people who can't find anyone they like.

Some of the nicest people on here have/ had 1,000+ veris and they certainly aren't of a lesser standard of people.

Good point, hate this idea that those who meet more have lower standards, instead of just different standards

My ex is on here and meets often. She also takes the time to message guys first, puts effort into the conversation and actually goes after what she wants

Now, clearly she had incredibly low standards when she dated me, but she meets some quality guys on here and has a great time "

She knows what she wants and makes the effort to get it. Certainly doesn't make you a sign of low standards. You are clearly an intelligent man.

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants


"The people who are in the best position are the ones who take it the least seriously and have the most realistic expectations I think. "

This. ^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's something called couples privilege, which is very real in the poly/swinger scene and women in couples benefit from it the most.

You have a man helping with fabmin, in many cases doing all the vetting conversations pre-meet. If no one is up to your standards and you're not meeting for a while, you still have your partner and great sex there. If you're meeting solo you have him as a safety net knowing exactly where you are and with who. You have the support and security of your relationship.

You can go to a party find no one attractive and still have a great night with each other. The woman has her partner there to deter and protect from unwanted advances, and to wingman for her with anyone she finds attractive and wants to play with.

As someone who has mostly played on the scene as a single woman, it's a very very different experience to the time I was in a swinging relationship.

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By *rjamesMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"It's something called couples privilege, which is very real in the poly/swinger scene and women in couples benefit from it the most.

You have a man helping with fabmin, in many cases doing all the vetting conversations pre-meet. If no one is up to your standards and you're not meeting for a while, you still have your partner and great sex there. If you're meeting solo you have him as a safety net knowing exactly where you are and with who. You have the support and security of your relationship.

You can go to a party find no one attractive and still have a great night with each other. The woman has her partner there to deter and protect from unwanted advances, and to wingman for her with anyone she finds attractive and wants to play with.

As someone who has mostly played on the scene as a single woman, it's a very very different experience to the time I was in a swinging relationship."

Very well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interestingly enough, a new social group has popped up near me, which is great news, because as all know the best way for single guys to get out there is to go to a social

Oh, what’s that?

“Single men, don’t contact us”

Ah? Another barrier for entry that’s so very common for socials and clubs alike. The sheer number of guys means that sadly, many just won’t get to join in

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Everyone I’ve ever known from fab tells me it’s hard work - women more so than men.

But that’s never been my experience, stood up once in 8 years around 200 dates, never struggled to find really nice people for socials or relationships.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTable OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Interestingly enough, a new social group has popped up near me, which is great news, because as all know the best way for single guys to get out there is to go to a social

Oh, what’s that?

“Single men, don’t contact us”

Ah? Another barrier for entry that’s so very common for socials and clubs alike. The sheer number of guys means that sadly, many just won’t get to join in "

That's a bit rubbish

There's been single men at every social I've been it seems a shame to eliminate them.

Mrs

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTable OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Everyone I’ve ever known from fab tells me it’s hard work - women more so than men.

But that’s never been my experience, stood up once in 8 years around 200 dates, never struggled to find really nice people for socials or relationships."

Yes! And from a single guy, this is great to hear.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interestingly enough, a new social group has popped up near me, which is great news, because as all know the best way for single guys to get out there is to go to a social

Oh, what’s that?

“Single men, don’t contact us”

Ah? Another barrier for entry that’s so very common for socials and clubs alike. The sheer number of guys means that sadly, many just won’t get to join in

That's a bit rubbish

There's been single men at every social I've been it seems a shame to eliminate them.

Mrs "

I don’t think they are eliminating them

I think they are only inviting the ones they want

Which I kinda get, you don’t want 9000 single guys at a social with 6 women

But it’s just another barrier for entry many people forget about

“Go to a social if your struggling” is really common advice, but many social and clubs limit the number of single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who are in the best position are the ones who take it the least seriously and have the most realistic expectations I think. "

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