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" Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck? " I'm just here to say I take exception to that ![]() | |||
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" Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck? I'm just here to say I take exception to that ![]() Do you find fab easy as a single woman? | |||
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" Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck? I'm just here to say I take exception to that ![]() Yes. I've got a relaxed attitude and straightforward approach to it | |||
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"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves ![]() But there’s fabguys. Their pool of looking for people to get along with is huge. | |||
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" Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck? I'm just here to say I take exception to that ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Easiest doesn’t mean easy Would I prefer to be a guy where there’s 1000 of men to every women/couple and the majority of my messages get buried and left unopened Or would I prefer to be a woman/couple where my inbox is always busy and the challenge is finding one of the endless options I like? And that’s before we even take into account that it’s 2-3x more expensive for the guy to go to a club and when in the club (or group social) single guys are often seen as pervs/creeps until they prove otherwise It can be pretty disheartening as a single guy seeing the vast majority of your messages go unopened, very rarely receiving a first message yourself, and then being prejudged in any club or social environment. Does anyone wonder why it’s a struggle finding a quality single guy? Because most leave fairly early for avenues that aren’t as tough or judgemental " My inbox isn't busy, I'm not sure why you'd think that, maybe 1-3 messages a week and usually from single men (we don't meet men) Some people do have assumption on how others fine it. Mrs | |||
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" Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck? I'm just here to say I take exception to that ![]() That's great I'm pleased you find it easy on here. Mrs | |||
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"Quoted from a previous post "a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs" Now I disagree very much 3/4 way attraction is extremely difficult never mind getting to the point of finding a good 3/4 way connection. So my questions are why do (some) people think it's easy for us women in couples? Who do you think had it easiest on fab? I'd love to hear from other women of couples on how easy you have it? Maybe I'm the odd one out not finding this easy? Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck? (Disclaimer I do not speak for the masses, my post from my mind on my opinion) Mrs Happy new year all." If 3/4 way attraction isn't enough of a challenge, add in coordinating 4 diaries, plus children's after school activities. I imagine it's like planning a military campaign. | |||
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"Quoted from a previous post "a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs" Now I disagree very much 3/4 way attraction is extremely difficult never mind getting to the point of finding a good 3/4 way connection. So my questions are why do (some) people think it's easy for us women in couples? Who do you think had it easiest on fab? I'd love to hear from other women of couples on how easy you have it? Maybe I'm the odd one out not finding this easy? Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck? (Disclaimer I do not speak for the masses, my post from my mind on my opinion) Mrs Happy new year all. If 3/4 way attraction isn't enough of a challenge, add in coordinating 4 diaries, plus children's after school activities. I imagine it's like planning a military campaign. " We have the same issues, childcare, diaries I'm sure every parent does. Mrs | |||
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"Quoted from a previous post "a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs" If 3/4 way attraction isn't enough of a challenge, add in coordinating 4 diaries, plus children's after school activities. I imagine it's like planning a military campaign. " This pretty much sums up my experiences. Finding people on my couples profile is far more complicated, and there is a lot less interest from other people. The interest a single woman's profile garners on here is overwhelming, so I choose to put my filters up and do my own searching and messaging. On the couples profile messages are fewer, and if one of us finds someone we like the other might not feel an attraction, or the prospective sex partner/s won't like one of us. Or the child free weekends won't align. Even attending social events is complicated as in our area they are all on weekends we have parenting responsibilities, so we've been travelling to the Midlands for the past 18 months just so we can attend one together. Also, on the forum I'm more likely to get replies to posts on this profile. | |||
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"The easiest position on fab is single male. You know you’re going to ignored, rejected and often ridiculed. If you have low expectations, you’re never disappointed. " You can’t argue with this logic ![]() ![]() | |||
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"The easiest position on fab is single male. You know you’re going to ignored, rejected and often ridiculed. If you have low expectations, you’re never disappointed. " To be fair, their might be some truth to that The paradox of choice. More choices is only good up until a certain point. After that the abundance of choices is too much and people end up picking nothing. Ultimately, it’s not easy for anyone and I think we’d all benefit if our relationships started off a little more organically in real life. Reducing people to a few pictures and a bio (remember that words only make up a fraction of actual communication) isn’t ideal for finding what you want | |||
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" Single guys won't be so interested because you're already getting it, they'll feel intimidated in the sense that they know your partner knows how to get you off and they still need to learn that or just perform brilliantly, that's a pressure they put on themselves, and guys like having a woman to themselves that's available to them, not someone who's not going to meet often because of their other half. " I can’t speak for other guys but I don’t find any of that is true for me and the couples I meet. In my experience couples want to meet single guys because they want something different. How a wife gets off with hubby will be totally different to how she does it with me - and that is the point. I don’t feel any pressure to perform - just let everyone turn up and enjoy themselves. | |||
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"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves ![]() Why? | |||
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"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves ![]() Because we’re dogs Open fabguys or the gay app and I can usually get a Meetup that day. Sometimes within minutes if I get lucky If I accidentally open the gay app and it registers me online for that 0.1 second, the next time I open it I usually have 5-10 messages | |||
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"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves ![]() That doesn’t make it ‘easier’ unless easy means no standards and no self esteem. | |||
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"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves ![]() Having more options vs less options is easier You don’t have to drop your standards, but having 50 options to choose from is better than none | |||
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"Quoted from a previous post "a woman on a couples profile, arguably the easiest position to be in on fabs" Now I disagree very much 3/4 way attraction is extremely difficult never mind getting to the point of finding a good 3/4 way connection. So my questions are why do (some) people think it's easy for us women in couples? Who do you think had it easiest on fab? I'd love to hear from other women of couples on how easy you have it? Maybe I'm the odd one out not finding this easy? Personally I'd say no one has it easy on here unless you seriously don't care who you fuck? (Disclaimer I do not speak for the masses, my post from my mind on my opinion) Mrs Happy new year all." We said this to a friend setting up a solo male profile after years of being here asa couple (they’re thinking of playing separately). Whilst a single women may get 100 messages in a day in response to a pic. Only 1-2 may be suitable. So the volume isn’t the best indicator. As you said it only benefits you if you don’t care who you fuck. The simple fact is, nothing replaces hard work and effort in the process of getting a social or meet. | |||
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"The people who are in the best position are the ones who take it the least seriously and have the most realistic expectations I think. " Now this I absolutely agree with! Mrs | |||
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"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves ![]() I get more messages on here than I ever did on fabguys but I take your point. | |||
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"I think everyone will look at this through the benefit (or otherwise) of their own lens. Everyone has an equal opportunity to look for those they find attractive physically, mentally, geographically, availability-wise. But not everyone will be able to find people that fit all of their criteria. For example, where I live I don't even have a 20 mile radius of land mass to search on... if you think of it as a clock face, the land mass is between about 3 and 6. Go to 25 miles and there are absolutely loads of people 25 miles away... but they're in Wales and that's 200 miles away. So I'm already "fishing in a tiny pool" if I'm searching for people relatively locally to meet. Add to that the fact I'm not your typically attractive woman... and the "pool" gets smaller. So I could say that actually it isn't women, or men, or couples or tv/ts who have it easy, it's people who live in landlocked cities. But it all depends on who and what you're looking for, and what your parameters are. I realised quickly when I joined fab (approximately 137 years ago) that I either had to change who I was attracted to, or change the distance I'd travel, or change my expectations of meet frequency. There's one of the three I'm not changing, so I've travelled to meet people I wanted to meet. And they've travelled to meet me. Might not be as often as either of us have liked, but we have made it work. I will say that adding more people into the mix of attraction is always going to make it more difficult, three way attraction is hard enough and four way must be a nightmare! So I don't envy couples who are looking for that. But it can be found, you just have to decide which parameters you are willing to change. Changing your expectations of fab makes it more fun and easier for anyone." That's what I said! Kind of... | |||
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"I think everyone will look at this through the benefit (or otherwise) of their own lens. Everyone has an equal opportunity to look for those they find attractive physically, mentally, geographically, availability-wise. But not everyone will be able to find people that fit all of their criteria. For example, where I live I don't even have a 20 mile radius of land mass to search on... if you think of it as a clock face, the land mass is between about 3 and 6. Go to 25 miles and there are absolutely loads of people 25 miles away... but they're in Wales and that's 200 miles away. So I'm already "fishing in a tiny pool" if I'm searching for people relatively locally to meet. Add to that the fact I'm not your typically attractive woman... and the "pool" gets smaller. So I could say that actually it isn't women, or men, or couples or tv/ts who have it easy, it's people who live in landlocked cities. But it all depends on who and what you're looking for, and what your parameters are. I realised quickly when I joined fab (approximately 137 years ago) that I either had to change who I was attracted to, or change the distance I'd travel, or change my expectations of meet frequency. There's one of the three I'm not changing, so I've travelled to meet people I wanted to meet. And they've travelled to meet me. Might not be as often as either of us have liked, but we have made it work. I will say that adding more people into the mix of attraction is always going to make it more difficult, three way attraction is hard enough and four way must be a nightmare! So I don't envy couples who are looking for that. But it can be found, you just have to decide which parameters you are willing to change. Changing your expectations of fab makes it more fun and easier for anyone. That's what I said! Kind of... " You're better at it. I ramble. | |||
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"I'd genuinely say single male, as you don't have to deal the silly messages every day, or the creeps. " Correct answer! | |||
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"I'd genuinely say single male, as you don't have to deal the silly messages every day, or the creeps. Correct answer!" This ![]() | |||
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" For example, where I live I don't even have a 20 mile radius of land mass to search on... if you think of it as a clock face, the land mass is between about 3 and 6. Go to 25 miles and there are absolutely loads of people 25 miles away... but they're in Wales and that's 200 miles away. So I'm already "fishing in a tiny pool" if I'm searching for people relatively locally to meet. Add to that the fact I'm not your typically attractive woman... and the "pool" gets smaller. So I could say that actually it isn't women, or men, or couples or tv/ts who have it easy, it's people who live in landlocked cities. ." Yes... Geography plays a big part! People always think I'm inundated... But Portsmouth is actually an island there's nothing east, west or south... Unless you want to cross the water. | |||
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"Fab is easy for us because we don't really use it to arrange meets. We use it for the forums, to chat to friends via message and look for interesting events. Despite that we've still found people via here to do the sex with and people we plan to do the sex with. But finding the attraction has been through finding real life chemistry in person. Messages, we get maybe 3 or so a week. More if a new picture or video goes up. But because we don't have 'looking for men' switched on we don't appear in searches or updates. So no inbox stress and we can go looking when we want to. This way suits us because we don't have much spare time to arrange and go for private socials. If we were doing that fab would be much harder. If we finding and arranging things using only the Fab platform it would be so hard we'd need a cheat code. I think the point the person was trying to make was that the woman of a couple already has a partner and that it's relatively easy to find someone to meet here as a woman. The person didn't pay the slightest attention to attraction or dynamics though. ![]() We are the same as you guys, we don't look to meet from here these days it's near on impossible online only for me, I much prefer the organised socials and stay for the forums. Mrs | |||
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"I don’t think anyone has it easy but aren’t all things worth while hard to achieve ? Obviously the people with lower standards will find it easier to meet similar with the same approach, personally I’d rather have no meets than the wrong meets " It's not necessarily lower standards. Some people like people and so will find loads to meet. Doesn't make them any 'lesser' than people who can't find anyone they like. Some of the nicest people on here have/ had 1,000+ veris and they certainly aren't of a lesser standard of people. | |||
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"Us Tgirls have it the hardest. Being so fabulous all of the time requires a lot of blood sacrifices and eventually someone will realise that there are a lot of people unaccounted for and there is a bloody altar inside a pentagram on my back garden, next to the bins ![]() I use a pop-up altar and the pentagram is on a roll-up mat. My neighbourhood's also now curiously free of cats. ![]() | |||
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"I don’t think anyone has it easy but aren’t all things worth while hard to achieve ? Obviously the people with lower standards will find it easier to meet similar with the same approach, personally I’d rather have no meets than the wrong meets It's not necessarily lower standards. Some people like people and so will find loads to meet. Doesn't make them any 'lesser' than people who can't find anyone they like. Some of the nicest people on here have/ had 1,000+ veris and they certainly aren't of a lesser standard of people. " Good point, hate this idea that those who meet more have lower standards, instead of just different standards My ex is on here and meets often. She also takes the time to message guys first, puts effort into the conversation and actually goes after what she wants Now, clearly she had incredibly low standards when she dated me, but she meets some quality guys on here and has a great time | |||
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"Uh, I'd say gay and bi men probably have it easiest as long as they only approach those who are seeking themselves ![]() I completely agree with Glow... I could get laid daily if I had no standards and didn't give a damn who I was opening my legs for. A visit to fabguys means being bombarded with entitled guys treating you like a convenient orifice. Throw any self-respect or standards into the mix and it gets much, much harder. | |||
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"I don’t think anyone has it easy but aren’t all things worth while hard to achieve ? Obviously the people with lower standards will find it easier to meet similar with the same approach, personally I’d rather have no meets than the wrong meets It's not necessarily lower standards. Some people like people and so will find loads to meet. Doesn't make them any 'lesser' than people who can't find anyone they like. Some of the nicest people on here have/ had 1,000+ veris and they certainly aren't of a lesser standard of people. Good point, hate this idea that those who meet more have lower standards, instead of just different standards My ex is on here and meets often. She also takes the time to message guys first, puts effort into the conversation and actually goes after what she wants Now, clearly she had incredibly low standards when she dated me, but she meets some quality guys on here and has a great time " She knows what she wants and makes the effort to get it. Certainly doesn't make you a sign of low standards. You are clearly an intelligent man. | |||
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"The people who are in the best position are the ones who take it the least seriously and have the most realistic expectations I think. " This. ^^^ ![]() | |||
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"It's something called couples privilege, which is very real in the poly/swinger scene and women in couples benefit from it the most. You have a man helping with fabmin, in many cases doing all the vetting conversations pre-meet. If no one is up to your standards and you're not meeting for a while, you still have your partner and great sex there. If you're meeting solo you have him as a safety net knowing exactly where you are and with who. You have the support and security of your relationship. You can go to a party find no one attractive and still have a great night with each other. The woman has her partner there to deter and protect from unwanted advances, and to wingman for her with anyone she finds attractive and wants to play with. As someone who has mostly played on the scene as a single woman, it's a very very different experience to the time I was in a swinging relationship." Very well said! | |||
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"Interestingly enough, a new social group has popped up near me, which is great news, because as all know the best way for single guys to get out there is to go to a social Oh, what’s that? “Single men, don’t contact us” Ah? Another barrier for entry that’s so very common for socials and clubs alike. The sheer number of guys means that sadly, many just won’t get to join in " That's a bit rubbish ![]() | |||
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"Everyone I’ve ever known from fab tells me it’s hard work - women more so than men. But that’s never been my experience, stood up once in 8 years around 200 dates, never struggled to find really nice people for socials or relationships." Yes! And from a single guy, this is great to hear. Mrs | |||
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"Interestingly enough, a new social group has popped up near me, which is great news, because as all know the best way for single guys to get out there is to go to a social Oh, what’s that? “Single men, don’t contact us” Ah? Another barrier for entry that’s so very common for socials and clubs alike. The sheer number of guys means that sadly, many just won’t get to join in That's a bit rubbish ![]() I don’t think they are eliminating them I think they are only inviting the ones they want Which I kinda get, you don’t want 9000 single guys at a social with 6 women But it’s just another barrier for entry many people forget about “Go to a social if your struggling” is really common advice, but many social and clubs limit the number of single guys | |||
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"The people who are in the best position are the ones who take it the least seriously and have the most realistic expectations I think. " ![]() | |||
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