FabSwingers.com forum: Are you screwed as a swinger?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The more sex you get the more you want it for a lot of us, am i right?

But when you've got a regular where it's really good sex, do you go for more meets in general with others as your sex drive has been heightened by the regular? Maybe not even consciously?

Is it possible that you can turn someone on that much that they go for more meets because of you and your effect on them and you indirectly cause the opposite of what you actually would like? Maybe you both can't meet as often due to work, distance or other commitments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So that's why I don’t want it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it’s a regular and the sex is good?

I’d want to see them more. Simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was shagging OP I would want it non stop

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Time is limited, so I'd just focus on the good I have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it’s a regular and the sex is good?

I’d want to see them more. Simple.

exactly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy.

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By *arley QuimWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

To be fair not often an issue... I shag folk with no/limited complications. If they have issues it's not a good fit...

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

If it’s awesome sex with them I would want to see them more. But I definitely have the affliction of the more I have the more I want….

Not necessarily more partners… just more mind blown, earth shattering, stay in bed for hours sex

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By *arley QuimWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy."

Then you have a wank, or meet someone else?... They're not your partner on a vow and a promise

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy."

Then I wouldn't say it's that regular and would like something else if I could

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy."
I had that recently I was seeing someone I met off here and we got real close. She moved to London with work 5 months in and the distance was so hard I was travelling up every week cos I missed our sexual connection so bad. We were allowed to play separate with the distance but I found I didn’t want to I just was happy to drive 5 hrs each way to get that hit. All over now though and back to searching

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy."

Get some more earth shattering sex elsewhere…

Simples

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I wait for the right time for the damn excellent sex.

My horn doesn't transfer onto someone else, it's specific horn for a person in particular. I might have the raging superhorn for more than one person at a time, but I don't just take out random bystanders with it because I can't have the person or people I want.

That doesn't mean a random bystander might not arouse a spark as well... but it isn't because of the desire I have for anyone else.

That made sense in my head.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When I was meeting I had quite a few regulars. No matter how good the sex I wouldn't commit to one man. Variety is the spice of life that's why I swung

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Im screwed as a swinger if i have no lightning she can boink who she wants id probly not go back if there was lightning id be too competitive she would fall for me cos im addictive panic run away and friendship lost so id end up screwed either way so id rather keep my pants on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the things I’ve learned is that you can’t spread yourself too thin in this game. You can always add to the roster of people you’re meeting but be honest and realistic about what that’ll have to look like. Things fall apart when your plate gets full too quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy.

Get some more earth shattering sex elsewhere…

Simples

I’m not for racking up numbers. Earth shattering sex is hard to order on tap.

So if I wanted sex to fill in the gaps, I’d assume it was just to get my rocks off.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy.

Get some more earth shattering sex elsewhere…

Simples

I’m not for racking up numbers. Earth shattering sex is hard to order on tap.

So if I wanted sex to fill in the gaps, I’d assume it was just to get my rocks off. "

Oh it sure is. It’s all about the connection. The mind is always stimulated first

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Doesn't have to be with random strangers, could be already established people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When I was meeting I had quite a few regulars. No matter how good the sex I wouldn't commit to one man. Variety is the spice of life that's why I swung"

Isn't this exactly how it should be

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Doesn't have to be with random strangers, could be already established people."

100% this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy.

Get some more earth shattering sex elsewhere…

Simples

I’m not for racking up numbers. Earth shattering sex is hard to order on tap.

So if I wanted sex to fill in the gaps, I’d assume it was just to get my rocks off.

Oh it sure is. It’s all about the connection. The mind is always stimulated first

Can you establish a connection with everyone you talk to? How many?

Serious question?

I can let one women in my head and there’s no room for anyone else.

#theyknow

I don’t know how you’d be able to spread your attention between many

Variety is the spice of life, but if I’m giving the sand attention to everyone i speak to, I’d assume they’re doing the same.

And doesn’t that make me feel special? Sor earth shattering and mind blowing sex is rare.

Swinging and meeting just for an orgasm is nice and fun.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy.

Get some more earth shattering sex elsewhere…

Simples

I’m not for racking up numbers. Earth shattering sex is hard to order on tap.

So if I wanted sex to fill in the gaps, I’d assume it was just to get my rocks off.

Oh it sure is. It’s all about the connection. The mind is always stimulated first

Can you establish a connection with everyone you talk to? How many?

Serious question?

I can let one women in my head and there’s no room for anyone else.

#theyknow

I don’t know how you’d be able to spread your attention between many

Variety is the spice of life, but if I’m giving the sand attention to everyone i speak to, I’d assume they’re doing the same.

And doesn’t that make me feel special? Sor earth shattering and mind blowing sex is rare.

Swinging and meeting just for an orgasm is nice and fun.

No. I can’t establish a connection with everyone I talk to. But some I can. More than one. And I cherish that because it’s different with different people.

I don’t find that mind blowing sex is rare when I have taken months to establish those connections and if I just wanted an orgasm I would have a wank.

I don’t do meaningless one-offs. Ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy.

Get some more earth shattering sex elsewhere…

Simples

…..

No. I can’t establish a connection with everyone I talk to. But some I can. More than one. And I cherish that because it’s different with different people.

I don’t find that mind blowing sex is rare when I have taken months to establish those connections and if I just wanted an orgasm I would have a wank.

I don’t do meaningless one-offs. Ever

But isn’t that what this thread was about? And you said get some earth shattering sex elsewhere.

It’s not that easy. And why would I want that??

That person excites me, and the excitement to n my wet in a couple of weeks (as per the first post) takes away any excitement I could muster up for inbetween. Or, I treat it as ‘it’s swinging, good fun etc. and I’m cool with that. But if someone was in my head, and turned me in as discribed uptop, nobody is competing with them, it’s just going to be some fun in between.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"The more sex you get the more you want it for a lot of us, am i right?

But when you've got a regular where it's really good sex, do you go for more meets in general with others as your sex drive has been heightened by the regular? Maybe not even consciously?

Wouldn’t that be a good thing?

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"If it’s awesome sex with them I would want to see them more. But I definitely have the affliction of the more I have the more I want….

Not necessarily more partners… just more mind blown, earth shattering, stay in bed for hours sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m having the best sex of my entire sexual life currently. Every day I’m more horny than the day before. This makes me want him more. I’ve returned home from a business trip twelve time zones away earlier than expected just to impale myself on his cock, and feel his body on mine.

I also want to experience more things in the lifestyle with him whereas before I may have said I wasn’t keen for reasons. My desire for more sex is fulfilled but the difficult part is keeping up with my ever growing horn.

I may be a bit d*unk and regret oversharing.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"I’m having the best sex of my entire sexual life currently. Every day I’m more horny than the day before. This makes me want him more. I’ve returned home from a business trip twelve time zones away earlier than expected just to impale myself on his cock, and feel his body on mine.

I may be a bit d*unk and regret oversharing.

That’s fucking hot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may be a bit d*unk and regret oversharing.

Drink make the truth flow easy

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By *hloe_TTV/TS
over a year ago

Nottingham

Lmao!!!!!

You're d*unk twice, normal d*unk and dick d*unk lol.

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By *hloe_TTV/TS
over a year ago

Nottingham

You cant say dr unk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lmao!!!!!

You're d*unk twice, normal d*unk and dick d*unk lol. "

It’s a good thing I fancy him for more than his dick. It is pretty. Feels lovely. Performs magic acts of grandiose proportions, but I’m not dick d*unk (yet). I simply like to overindulge in things that taste and feel lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having some sort of connection is what makes sex amazing for me. This wouldn't translate to a random.

I would more than likely wait or if I really wanted to scratch an itch I would go to the club. It wouldn't be earth shattering or amazing though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Screwed both literally, and metaphorically.

The idea of a few trusted regulars is most appealing truth beknownst. The execution and trust, less so.

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By *enerifehotwifecplCouple
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

You are so right x

Totally addictive

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Yes well hopefully tonight

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"You make me so horny that I just have to have sex with someone else"

I can't see that going down well for many

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s why I’d never date anyone that’s into swinging or been into swinging

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm really, definitely not a swinger.

I love having that effect on someone, you know when you boost their libido and they're clearly more sexually charged. I'm very much about the desire feedback loop and that plays into it rather nicely.

That being said, if someone started to meet lots of other people because they can't meet me for whatever reason, I'd kind of... lose interest? There's little chance that the energy would stay the same because as much people might like to think they can, they can't maintain that energy when multiple people are involved. I'm also not one for meeting lots of people.

So a few, yep, sure.

As far as it goes with me? I might have a heightened libido and see a couple of friends more frequently. But when I'm craving someone it's them I want. I can feel that way about a few people at a time but I actively avoid becoming fuck-saturated because it just lessens the dynamic I have with those I'm seeing.

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By *ossannCouple
over a year ago

London

I'm past the stage of just wanting lots of sex. I have a romantic partner who is excellent in bed and he's who copes with my libido. This swinging thing is just about having different sexual experiences in groups. Not about needing to sate my sex drive.

So no I can't see me getting hooked on anyone. I'd probably tire of other people after meeting up for sex once or twice

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

If I'm generally horny, I can usually see one of my partners or fuck buddies and deal with that need happily.

If I have a horn focused on one particular person, I won't then go and use that on someone else. I'd rather thrive on the frustration than do that

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't have a high sex drive and never have done.

I've never needed sex or been driven by a need for it.

If I had one extra finger I could count on that hand the number of people I've had sex with in almost 8 years here and that has always been by choice rather than circumstance.

I've never classed myself as a swinger because this has always been more of a hobby than a lifestyle choice.

What I do through fab has virtually no impact on me as a person so it therefore can't ruin me.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

Yep having regular partners does put me off looking for new men, as I'd rather spend my time with my guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/01/24 10:04:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/01/24 10:07:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this great reply then I lost it, oh well, idiot I know

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Great question, something that was on my mind a lot recently.

I’m bookmarking for the replies as I’m still not sure about my own.

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy."

Been in that situation and I decided to meet other men. That backfired as it only reminded what a great fuck he is and that I wanted to see him more often.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy."

This is the issue I have... But it's finding the someone else for in-between times that's the problem!

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

""You make me so horny that I just have to have sex with someone else"

I can't see that going down well for many "

But some have the dynamic where they'd get off on that and like hearing what you get up to, when you're not with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""You make me so horny that I just have to have sex with someone else"

I can't see that going down well for many

But some have the dynamic where they'd get off on that and like hearing what you get up to, when you're not with them "

For me, that would require an emotional connection of some sort, things that couples talk about. You know?

Prey expressed what I was trying to say above in a lot less words than I could.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

So I’ve been thinking and it comes down basically to what I have written in my profile. What about a situation when in an absence of a perfect match who fits all my sexual needs, I keep meeting different people to fit different needs, does it make sense?

The downside is I feel that is it the best way of doing things.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"So I’ve been thinking and it comes down basically to what I have written in my profile. What about a situation when in an absence of a perfect match who fits all my sexual needs, I keep meeting different people to fit different needs, does it make sense?

The downside is I feel that is it the best way of doing things."

It is NOT the best way!

(Sorry, damn autocorrect)

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

The downside is I feel that is it the best way of doing things."

I don't think any one person fits everyone's needs - admittedly I'm posting very much from a poly mindset but meeting different people to explore different parts of you? That's absolutely fine. It can work really well.

Posting about it in your profile, knowing that's what you want - owning it essentially. That's a very good idea.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

The downside is I feel that is it the best way of doing things.

Posting about it in your profile, knowing that's what you want - owning it essentially. That's a very good idea."

Thank you Meli

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

If I’m meeting someone and the sex is amazing and at least once a month, then I wouldn’t look elsewhere.

I’m easily pleased like that.

If the sex was shit I’d bin them off and start looking again.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

""You make me so horny that I just have to have sex with someone else"

I can't see that going down well for many

But some have the dynamic where they'd get off on that and like hearing what you get up to, when you're not with them

For me, that would require an emotional connection of some sort, things that couples talk about. You know?

Prey expressed what I was trying to say above in a lot less words than I could. "

FWB does have that kind of connection, for me... Mine usually want me even more when they've heard about what I've been up to with others. Different kind of "feedback loop" that people often talk about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm really, definitely not a swinger.

So a few, yep, sure.

I like too knowing that I make someone horny and I like them knowing they make me horny. Does it make me want sex more, yes. With someone else as a substitute, no. But can they join in the fun, yes, only if everyone agrees.

However, like the post above I do have some caveats. If that other person that I was in a relationship with saw lots of someone else/other people, I pull back. Not consciously, but I do. Especially if I don't feel secure in the relationship with them. I think that is why I would find poly really difficult. As I think it's difficult especially if there is little communication between the different parties to make everyone feel of worth. Especially if time, outings, even time at social meets where all are present, are particularly one sided. If one starts to pull back or is protecting themselves or starts to loose interest because their partner is going elsewhere. But they maybe spending more time elsewhere as the other is pulling back as well as they just want fun or whatever. Chicken and egg I think.

In regards to swinging though, I think I could do it in a steady secure relationship. I think it can heighten an already heightened sexy atmosphere. But I could not swing without them. They would have to be part of it, be or an active part or as a voyeur. It would be for our pleasure to invite someone into our sex lives if they want to join. It's to enhance our sex life and our pleasure. But I couldn't play elsewhere alone if I had an itch that needed scratched. Id just make sure he hurried up and got round or I surprised him with a visit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy.

This is the issue I have... But it's finding the someone else for in-between times that's the problem!"

And running the risk of the great guy telling you where to go if he doesn't like the fact you go to someone else in between?

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

To get _more_ sex I've got to start by getting _some_ sex...

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

""You make me so horny that I just have to have sex with someone else"

I can't see that going down well for many

But some have the dynamic where they'd get off on that and like hearing what you get up to, when you're not with them

For me, that would require an emotional connection of some sort, things that couples talk about. You know?

Prey expressed what I was trying to say above in a lot less words than I could.

It is reclaim sex of sorts

We enjoy this connection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""You make me so horny that I just have to have sex with someone else"

I can't see that going down well for many

But some have the dynamic where they'd get off on that and like hearing what you get up to, when you're not with them

For me, that would require an emotional connection of some sort, things that couples talk about. You know?

Prey expressed what I was trying to say above in a lot less words than I could.

A FWB. How close are you? Because again, that’s all different between everyone. There’s so many different definitions arent they?

I suppose we all have our kinks and fetishes, and finding people who match you in life is awesome.

I live in hope to find mine.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

With a great many of us on here, choice doesn’t come into it! But, assuming it did…

I think if I was seeing someone regularly that I was really into I’d be more likely to want to project that. We all know it’s a swingers site and chances are we’ve both had the talk about seeing others. And of course I’d be ok with it, otherwise I’m basically asking to be partners, but if we’ve both found what we’re looking for in terms of mind-blowing sex and mental stimulation then that would be enough for me.

If the object of my affection was out of the game for a month, I might be tempted to seek a ‘bridge’. But I expect I would be using my current playmate as a benchmark and so it could never equal/beat them.

In balance, I think I’d probably store the horniness for their triumphant return and bang them senseless.

Poetic, I know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Felix. I’m not tying to get around a block and I apreciate your filters, but can I dm you?

*it’s a police request, a no is fine.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Felix. I’m not tying to get around a block and I apreciate your filters, but can I dm you?

*it’s a police request, a no is fine.

Dude. No need to get the law involved!

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Felix. I’m not tying to get around a block and I apreciate your filters, but can I dm you?

*it’s a police request, a no is fine.

Dude. No need to get the law involved!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Felix. I’m not tying to get around a block and I apreciate your filters, but can I dm you?

*it’s a police request, a no is fine.

Dude. No need to get the law involved!

Polite. Ffs.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Felix. I’m not tying to get around a block and I apreciate your filters, but can I dm you?

*it’s a police request, a no is fine.

Dude. No need to get the law involved!

Polite. Ffs.

We knew what you meant really

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Felix. I’m not tying to get around a block and I apreciate your filters, but can I dm you?

*it’s a police request, a no is fine.

Dude. No need to get the law involved!

Polite. Ffs.

I know!

I was being hilarious.

In my head.

That totally bombed.

Bugger

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Felix. I’m not tying to get around a block and I apreciate your filters, but can I dm you?

*it’s a police request, a no is fine.

I was expecting a stern knock at the door!!

Of course you can dm old chum, no need to ask

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"But what if you couldn't see the regular for a couple of weeks and they were miles away?

But they were driving you sexually crazy.

This is the issue I have... But it's finding the someone else for in-between times that's the problem!

And running the risk of the great guy telling you where to go if he doesn't like the fact you go to someone else in between? "

My current fwb wouldn't have an issue with this. He already has a partner elsewhere, so that's not a problem in our dynamic. I'm always very clear with others that they'll never be the only one.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

""You make me so horny that I just have to have sex with someone else"

I can't see that going down well for many

But some have the dynamic where they'd get off on that and like hearing what you get up to, when you're not with them

For me, that would require an emotional connection of some sort, things that couples talk about. You know?

Prey expressed what I was trying to say above in a lot less words than I could.

A FWB. How close are you? Because again, that’s all different between everyone. There’s so many different definitions arent they?

I suppose we all have our kinks and fetishes, and finding people who match you in life is awesome.

I live in hope to find mine.

We chat nearly every day, he's been a great support - even from afar over the last 6 months. He has a partner elsewhere, so neither of us are tied solely to each other. He makes me feel safe and secure, when we're together which is the most important thing for me.

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By *enuine MikeMan
over a year ago

Guildford

I wouldn't say that you are screwed as a Swinger.

I'd say that you are very privileged to be one, especially if you are popular and can pick and choose who to fuck and when.

Spare a thought for the poor fuckers who get nothing, no matter how much effort and time they put into it.

Happy New Year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""You make me so horny that I just have to have sex with someone else"

I can't see that going down well for many

….

I suppose we all have our kinks and fetishes, and finding people who match you in life is awesome.

I live in hope to find mine.

I’ve always said the biggest distance between two people is miss-communication. Distances are irrelevant.

You’re both sound very similar if that’s the case, I can understand how that would work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wait for the right time for the damn excellent sex.

That doesn't mean a random bystander might not arouse a spark as well... but it isn't because of the desire I have for anyone else.

That made sense in my head."

Makes sense to me. I'm the same. My horn is person specific and directional towards them.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I wait for the right time for the damn excellent sex.

That doesn't mean a random bystander might not arouse a spark as well... but it isn't because of the desire I have for anyone else.

That made sense in my head.

Makes sense to me. I'm the same. My horn is person specific and directional towards them."

Same

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

""You make me so horny that I just have to have sex with someone else"

I can't see that going down well for many

….

I suppose we all have our kinks and fetishes, and finding people who match you in life is awesome.

I live in hope to find mine.

I’ve always said the biggest distance between two people is miss-communication. Distances are irrelevant.

You’re both sound very similar if that’s the case, I can understand how that would work.

Yeah it's just other commitments/responsibilities that usually get in the way!

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