FabSwingers.com forum: Statements that will never appear on a profile

By *ohn Wilson96 OP Man
over a year ago

from inside your wardrobe

I saw this on another site and it was quite funny.

So what statements would you NEVER see on someone's profile I.e. no single women, if we want you we will find you

??????

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I hate sex but I like to tease people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a 2" cock..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any single man welcome ......... I have the church booked and my wedding dress ready.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i never turn up for meets x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will fuck anyone just ask me

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Face pics not necessary. Just turn up.

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

like to meet au natural, ie not bathed for a week before hand (manly)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"like to meet au natural, ie not bathed for a week before hand (manly)

minging lol

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

"like to meet au natural, ie not bathed for a week before hand (manly)

minging lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't get it up, but I have a finger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fake

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I don't mind fucking ugly people, PM me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come to mine for coffee , my place resembles a pig sty with dog and cat shit everywhere ......I wish it had said that

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I can't get it up, but I have a finger. "

That wasn't on a profile but I did get that as a message once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only go on meets with my twin sister

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don't mind fucking ugly people, PM me."

Look carefully, I think you will find that profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't mind fucking ugly people, PM me.

Look carefully, I think you will find that profile."

Yep I've seen that on FAB profiles already!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a 2" cock.."

i tried that one once. i got swamped with mail

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I don't mind fucking ugly people, PM me.

Look carefully, I think you will find that profile.

Yep I've seen that on FAB profiles already!"

Seriously? lol I like their style.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be understanding when it comes to my "little problem"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

STI's welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/03/13 16:40:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Contact me if you can play dead... I can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single women must form an orderly queue

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I'm pregnant by my last verification...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got my last verification pregnant

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By *oasterCockbumMan
over a year ago

Highway 61

Im a crap shag ... and i need a mirror to see my own knob ....

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

These aren't my pics.

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By *oasterCockbumMan
over a year ago

Highway 61

Fab was reccomended to me ..... by my shrink ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must like the smell of fish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It won't take long and it won't hurt.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Can accommodate and weekends no problem.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Can accommodate and weekends no problem.

Now come on, thats just going too far!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'm not a genuine bloke. I'm like all the others.

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By *noops123Man
over a year ago

Kegworth

Straight : ie

Will have my cock sucked by a bloke if desperate !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Free warts apply within

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

I would love to meet someone who is really good at Rimming, because I can never manage to get my arse hole completely clean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I AM pushy, and having just read this, why haven't you messaged yet? Or agreed to meet? come on, its been at least 3 mins. I know you will, I just need to message you 80 times...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about the kids, I will send them to the park for an hour

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By *noops123Man
over a year ago

Kegworth

"I AM pushy, and having just read this, why haven't you messaged yet? Or agreed to meet? come on, its been at least 3 mins. I know you will, I just need to message you 80 times..."
????????????????????

At least !

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Loves cream cheese

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loves cream cheese

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can accommodate. I will just cover the bed with plastic so the Mrs won't find the stains when she gets back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I want a single guy, I'll find YOU!!!!! Jeez, talk about cocksure!! Who says I'm gonna say yes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can accommodate and weekends no problem.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Absolutely love this!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Will bring own bunny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can accommodate have large dark basement

With no Windows, or is also sound proof

And you will get absolutely no signal on your

Mobile phone please come alone as I hate

Crowds

Pmsl

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By *oasterCockbumMan
over a year ago

Highway 61

Ive paid for the Gold site pass thingy ... you must let me hump you ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive paid for the Gold site pass thingy ... you must let me hump you ...."
who???

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

One size fits all

Will fill this bit in later

Sydney Uni

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you send a message with face pics but not one cock pic I will block you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rohypnol supplied free and discreetly!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Must agree to meet my dark passenger also.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I live with my Mum and have a nice single bed with nylon sheets. You can stay over if you like but we can't make any noise or Mummy will be cross.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't accommodate. And they only let me have two visitors a month!

My cell does have fully wipe clean surfaces though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Timewasters contact me!

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

"Can accommodate. I will just cover the bed with plastic so the Mrs won't find the stains when she gets back.

and please ignore the wedding photos on the wall, they are my sister !

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Had no luck on the other sites, due to time wasters. I am not, and I repeat not, a pervert, I am on a swinging site as all you lovely ladies deserve this cock. Don't bother telling me what to put in my profile, I'll put whatever I like. It's your loss if you don't grab me whilst you can, losers!

Will only fuck your wife if you leave us alone, and I can stay overnight, I'm not desperate - I know a good escort, and will let you have her no. Read 50 Shades, so have all the right ideas.

Any recordings made are entirely for my own pleasure, and are my copyright.

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By *ohn Wilson96 OP Man
over a year ago

from inside your wardrobe

Cock pics only, face pics will be blocked

Fetish for genital warts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am a single male who can't accommodate. I have had so many meets in the four weeks I have been on Fabs that I am taking a break. Go bother someone else please ladies."

(possibly.......)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a man who's ugly and crap at sex...but hoping that you won't work it out until it's too late...and I've got what I wanted from you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ugly fat bloke on here with a female profile, the pics are stolen from other site.

Come on and have some fun with me

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Unpleasant dwarf with a small dick who has halitosis and the manners of a pig. I will treat you like shit, if I can be bothered to turn up, and will shoot and leave, wiping my dick on the curtains on the way out. Don't get too hung up about foreplay as I am not in to that but I will insist on barebacking and I never get tested. I will expect a glowing veri but will not return the favour.

No fat chicks or old munters - I'm not that desperate. You have to be at least 6ft tall, slim and athletic with a vast collection of lingerie which I will expect you to be wearing as you open the door - ready for action straight away.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Unpleasant dwarf with a small dick who has halitosis and the manners of a pig. I will treat you like shit, if I can be bothered to turn up, and will shoot and leave, wiping my dick on the curtains on the way out. Don't get too hung up about foreplay as I am not in to that but I will insist on barebacking and I never get tested. I will expect a glowing veri but will not return the favour.

I have seen one not far off that one. He's no longer on the site. When I asked him why he had written it that way he said it was to stand out from all of the other bland men.

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By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

People say I'm the image of Jimmy Saville...

Age range....no-one over teenage years

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I'm a crap shag and will last two minutes tops and once I've had my jollies I'll get out of there, leaving you bewildered and unsatisfied.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

'I'll be quick and leave the taxi running outside!'

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By *e nicerWoman
over a year ago

Costa del Medway

"I will fuck anyone just ask me"

well seen statements very similar, truth be told.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's a couple profile as I am looking for someone to fit the bill of the other half.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Husband is in prison, he respects my needs

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By *ickndomCouple
over a year ago

Wimborne

Missionary position only, no oral sex and defo no BJ's or cock sucking, can't do Sundays due to work, children welcome

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By *e nicerWoman
over a year ago

Costa del Medway

It's a singles profile as I am not willing to share my other half.

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By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Willing to travel... 10 metres from where I live in the countryside

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By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Looking for a girl called Susie Jones....only interested in Susie's...no Susan's, Sue's...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm actually incredibly boring. Oh and I hate oral.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a time waster, form an orderly que ladies!

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By *illybare partyMan
over a year ago

hotel in teeside once a month

Only married men and fake need apply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're not a happily married couple, I don't have his consent I'm paying the bastard back for cheating on me for years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Liars cheats I want you all but I don't want honest. Genuine non time wasting people

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

We love condom gangbangs from under endowed white males

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm actully a single bi female pretending to be a single male.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking to meet these types....

List - basically anyone, with no age range

Interested in - almost anything

Buried in profile text - Not meeting at the moment. Only here for the chat. Won't meet people outside my age range

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking for animal play , please turn up with your pussy or dog!

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By *li87Man
over a year ago

Manchester/Kendal

Have you got an sti? Do you want one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about the rash it will go with a short course of antibiotics

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