FabSwingers.com forum: Introverted People

By (user no longer on site) OP
46 weeks ago

Do people find them intimidating. Boring, hard to communicate with.

Apparently I'm an introvert and just did an online test.

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By *umagain58Man
46 weeks ago

London

Not any issue for me. It’s more how you get on and extroverted or introverted can be be nice or not

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By *elvet RopeMan
46 weeks ago

by the big field

So you're comfortable in your own company without the desperation of needing to heard and seen by other people?

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By *a LunaWoman
46 weeks ago

South Wales

I feel boring in social gatherings. I find it incredibly difficult to strike up conversation and then panic about not striking up a conversation.

Other than that I’m happy as a clam

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I'm an introvert - i worry that people find me boring - I find it challenging to put in the energy that fledgling relationships / friendships need, so it's rare i make friends

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

No socialising? No one close to me in my life?

It's awesome.

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By *umagain58Man
46 weeks ago

London

"I'm an introvert - i worry that people find me boring - I find it challenging to put in the energy that fledgling relationships / friendships need, so it's rare i make friends "

Your verifications are veery complimentary so are u sure you can’t make friends. Maybe just sex?

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By *lynJMan
46 weeks ago

Morden

I'm an introvert too, though I find it less awkward to start conversations these days. Mainly because I don't worry so much about what other people think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
46 weeks ago

"So you're comfortable in your own company without the desperation of needing to heard and seen by other people?

Erm yup. It's been mentioned at work

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By (user no longer on site) OP
46 weeks ago

"I'm an introvert - i worry that people find me boring - I find it challenging to put in the energy that fledgling relationships / friendships need, so it's rare i make friends "

I usually strike up a conversation but meaningful stuff rather than boring meaningless crap.

Im also not worried what people think of me either.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

if you believe the online tests I am a classic serial killer3

I guess there is still time

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By *ellhungvweMan
46 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"I feel boring in social gatherings. I find it incredibly difficult to strike up conversation and then panic about not striking up a conversation.

Other than that I’m happy as a clam

I think a problem introverted people have is that they lack practice in social situations so they think that every conversation has to be “meaningful”. Most people couldn’t give a shit about meaningful - all they really want to do is talk about themselves. Therefore if I am stuck for a conversation I will pay them a (genuine) compliment about something they are wearing/doing and then ask them a follow up question about it. Doesn’t matter what it is - just get them talking about themselves and then get out of their way. They will be super happy because they are talking about their favourite subject - themselves - and I am happy because I can just listen.

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By *mf123Man
46 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

I wont say im introvert but i dont like groups of people because i have no filter and some people dont know how to take that so i stay away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
46 weeks ago

"if you believe the online tests I am a classic serial killer3

I guess there is still time"

Note to self: don't visit Manchester.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
46 weeks ago

"I feel boring in social gatherings. I find it incredibly difficult to strike up conversation and then panic about not striking up a conversation.

Other than that I’m happy as a clam

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I’m an introvert - ISTJ type. I find social situations very difficult and exhausting; can’t do small talk. Can’t really fit in anywhere socially.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
46 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I'm an introverted exhibitionist

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By *oubleswing2019Man
46 weeks ago

Colchester

"Do people find them intimidating. Boring, hard to communicate with.

Apparently I'm an introvert and just did an online test."

Nope. I'm an introvert and will quite happily sit with another introvert in silence. For hours if need be. (I'm barely aware of their presence unless they say something. If it's something meaningful I may respond. If it's not, I'll nod my head and carry on reading whatever I am reading).

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
46 weeks ago

Leamington Spa

"Do people find them intimidating. Boring, hard to communicate with.

Apparently I'm an introvert and just did an online test."

My test said introvert too

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Being introvert means you’re happy with your own company.

I do sometimes wish I could make small talk with random people, I just can’t, also hate large social gatherings and am usually the first to leave.

I spend much of my life traveling round the world and rarely speak to others outside the confines of my work.

It’s a bit of a double edge sword.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
46 weeks ago

Leeds

Introvert here - personally I think I'm boring, I don't really care what others think to be honest, people will always not like you for whatever reason they just aren't your people.

Mrs

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By *ris GrayMan
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

All you can be is be you if that gets you success then so be it, thats my theory anyways

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By *avexxMan
46 weeks ago

cheshire

introvert im boring as fuck i enjoy it i bore myself everyday,,

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
46 weeks ago

Manchester

I am quite happy with being an introvert. I find loud people aggressive as I'm quite sensitive to noises and I dread chatty cab drivers and hairdressers. Usually they get that I'm happy to be silent. The last big social I went to, I felt so out of place! As I'm not English, it's harder, I'm much quicker and funnier in my other language. It's like I can't be/show who I really am but yeah, all good!

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By *neforutoMan
46 weeks ago

Fantasy land in the SW

Introvert and also paradoxically compensate by my exhibitionism. Im also on the spectrum so making small talk and meeting others is painful but I crave the intimacy

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By *alleyDaveMan
46 weeks ago

Sheffield

I don't like mingling in groups, but I'm in my element in a one on one situation where I am a total extrovert. For example, on Fab I have zero interest in group socials or clubs . I couldn't think of anything worse ,but I would be the Complete opposite in a one on one social meet.

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
46 weeks ago

Next Door

I'm an introvert and really struggle with confidence, so striking up a conversation with someone new is very difficult and I'm probably boring.

There are some comment already made by others which I relate too as well.

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
46 weeks ago

St Leonards

"I'm an introvert - i worry that people find me boring - I find it challenging to put in the energy that fledgling relationships / friendships need, so it's rare i make friends "

I'm happy to call you a friend.

The terms introvert/extravert are from my favourite psychologist, Jung. He of Synchronicity, psychic stuff, and the physicist Wolfgang Pauli's collaborator. They were somewhat obsessed with the number 137 too, and I'm connected to a few academics carrying on that work.

I've done quite a few of the tests for various roles over the years, including the original Jungian Colour Energies that spawned Myers-Briggs et al, and I have the annoyingly unique status of all the colours touching each other. Or in MBTI terms, both extra- and intro- equally. But it's more than that.

Prey said she's an introverted exhibitionist, which would have similarities.

So...my question to Prey (and others, if you want to go to the strangest of places) is: How often, if ever, have you had psychic experiences? Jung and Pauli would very much have put those together with personalities who were very "active-passive", which seems like a paradox, but if you look into their work further, you'll also see that paradox (quantum uncertainty, 137 as "Fine Structure Constant" etc) is a key part of their newer understanding of reality than classical mechanics suggests.

So if anyone feels like they're a paradox, and you have psychic experiences (I do..I'm an atheist and my dissertation was on a materialist framework for psi), and you want to talk more...without any FAB perving...I'm here.

Or, you can block me knowing I'm a nutter.

Either way, I've just made FAB more efficient for you all xx

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman
46 weeks ago

Wales

It feels like too far an extreme -either introvert or extrovert...

I reckon I fit more on the introvert side, it's not that I don't know how to make conversation...I know very well, I just don't want to.

I find lots of people just talk for the sake of talking, just ramblings without actually saying anything...that gets exhausting to listen to.

Then I prefer to have the peace of silence in my own company.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Im going to be honest and say yes I would struggle. I'm an extremely sociable, chatty and fun person and I am naturally drawn to people who are similar to me. I struggle with people who are quieter and not forthcoming.

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By *viatrixWoman
46 weeks ago

Redhill

I’m an introverted extrovert.

Have no prpblem chatting etc- but it is quite hard for me to approach people. I wait for people to come to me.

And I am quite happy with my own company.

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
46 weeks ago

Belfast

I'm an introvert maybe 20% of the time, and an extrovert the rest of the time. I think the circumstances of the day I've had determine which category I fall into at any particular moment.

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
46 weeks ago

stanley

Not at all, I enjoy their company I just allow them more time and space to consider their thoughts and responses and try to “ bring them in” to conversations by asking their thoughts etc

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman
46 weeks ago

Wales

I think what I find the hardest, say you're in a group of people and there's one that dominates the conversation...like literally just talks non stop.

So much so that you have to almost shout to be heard, then you've just got a bunch of people shouting over each other with no real communication happening

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
46 weeks ago

East Sussex

My opinion is that overthinking what personality type you are isn't helpful. Recognise where you might need to adapt or if really necessary change but it's difference that makes us interesting.

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By *obilebottomMan
46 weeks ago

All over

"My opinion is that overthinking what personality type you are isn't helpful. Recognise where you might need to adapt or if really necessary change but it's difference that makes us interesting.

Sound advice. I am both I think depending where and who I am with. I need to feel comfortable in the situation

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
46 weeks ago

East Sussex

"My opinion is that overthinking what personality type you are isn't helpful. Recognise where you might need to adapt or if really necessary change but it's difference that makes us interesting.

Sound advice. I am both I think depending where and who I am with. I need to feel comfortable in the situation

It's the same for me. There are certain situations in which people would say I'm an introvert mainly because we have nothing in common and I struggle to make conversation. I don't think anyone would ever say I'm an extrovert but I'm definitely more talkative and sociable if there's common ground.

Then there's the people who badger you to 'be sociable ' asking "why are you so quiet?"

"I don't know Marjorie, why are you so damn noisy?"

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By *ornucopiaMan
46 weeks ago

Bexley

"I think what I find the hardest, say you're in a group of people and there's one that dominates the conversation...like literally just talks non stop.

So much so that you have to almost shout to be heard, then you've just got a bunch of people shouting over each other with no real communication happening

What a fantastic description of being in a pub.

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By *obilebottomMan
46 weeks ago

All over

"My opinion is that overthinking what personality type you are isn't helpful. Recognise where you might need to adapt or if really necessary change but it's difference that makes us interesting.

Sound advice. I am both I think depending where and who I am with. I need to feel comfortable in the situation

Then there's the people who badger you to 'be sociable ' asking "why are you so quiet?"

"I don't know Marjorie, why are you so damn noisy?"

Perfect, I subscribe to it

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By *ustBoWoman
46 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"My opinion is that overthinking what personality type you are isn't helpful. Recognise where you might need to adapt or if really necessary change but it's difference that makes us interesting.

Sound advice. I am both I think depending where and who I am with. I need to feel comfortable in the situation

Then there's the people who badger you to 'be sociable ' asking "why are you so quiet?"

"I don't know Marjorie, why are you so damn noisy?"

This is so spot on for me as well .

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I'm an introvert... and autistic lol, so I got a bit of a double whammy going on here. As much as I love being alone and exploring life in a peaceful way, I know I have to do my best to keep a certain level of connection with others around me, otherwise I'll close myself off from the world.

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By *ornucopiaMan
46 weeks ago

Bexley

"I'm an introvert... and autistic lol, so I got a bit of a double whammy going on here. As much as I love being alone and exploring life in a peaceful way, I know I have to do my best to keep a certain level of connection with others around me, otherwise I'll close myself off from the world."

Don't worry. There's never been a better time to be autistic.

It certainly wasn't good when I didn't like sport and went to a minor public school.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Don't worry. There's never been a better time to be autistic.

It certainly wasn't good when I didn't like sport and went to a minor public school."

Thanks for the kind words man. It's definitely a little easier this day and age for the neurodivergent's to interact with others being that there is more awareness and understanding about it all.

Are you neurodivergent yourself?

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

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By *oubleswing2019Man
46 weeks ago

Colchester

My niece came over today (21 y.o. neurodivergent.). Her mother and her husband came too. Along with their other daughter (14). Plus another of my nieces (15), her mum, and her husband. Plus me and Mrs DS.

It was noisy. I'd been dreading it, tbh.

I kept nipping out to a quiet room to recharge for 5-10 mins in short bursts.

Go back in, and it was like being in no man's land, with bullets of conversations zipping back and forth constantly over my head.

I'm trying to snatch each bullet mid-flight, to examine it, study it, understand it, but there's another 3-4 bullets in mid-flight coming from other angles and they need examining too. Mentally exhausting trying to soak all the information coming in thick and fast. Vaguely aware of my name being called. Turn to the person who I think said it. All the bullets I am currently processing fall to the floor. Focus now completely on one person. It was my neurodivergent niece. She'd not said a word to anyone. She wanted to show me some Anime she had on her phone. (She's obsessed with Anime). I said "Follow me". Went in the quiet room. She showed me the video. It was very good. I asked her to show me more. She "blossomed" and we sat chatting for over an hour about her love for Anime. We both got the respite we needed away from the mob. It can work

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
46 weeks ago

St Leonards

"My niece came over today (21 y.o. neurodivergent.). Her mother and her husband came too. Along with their other daughter (14). Plus another of my nieces (15), her mum, and her husband. Plus me and Mrs DS.

It was noisy. I'd been dreading it, tbh.

I kept nipping out to a quiet room to recharge for 5-10 mins in short bursts.

Go back in, and it was like being in no man's land, with bullets of conversations zipping back and forth constantly over my head.

That is

Thank you.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
46 weeks ago

Reading

I am both shy and introverted but i still manage ok at clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"It was noisy. I'd been dreading it, tbh.

I kept nipping out to a quiet room to recharge for 5-10 mins in short bursts.

Go back in, and it was like being in no man's land, with bullets of conversations zipping back and forth constantly over my head.

Totally empathise with this! Reminds me of my ex-wife's family gatherings. I always felt like I was going to explode.

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By *lueLotusWoman
46 weeks ago

the wilderness

"I'm an introvert - i worry that people find me boring - I find it challenging to put in the energy that fledgling relationships / friendships need, so it's rare i make friends

I'm happy to call you a friend.

Prey said she's an introverted exhibitionist, which would have similarities.

Or, you can block me knowing I'm a nutter.

Either way, I've just made FAB more efficient for you all xx

This interest me. I don't have psychic experiences but have had other dimensional experiences or is it the same thing. Everything about our existence is a paradox as far as I'm concerned, mostly I'm comfortable with that knowledge but sometimes it gives me the heebie jeebies

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
46 weeks ago

St Leonards

"This interest me. I don't have psychic experiences but have had other dimensional experiences or is it the same thing. Everything about our existence is a paradox as far as I'm concerned, mostly I'm comfortable with that knowledge but sometimes it gives me the heebie jeebies"

I think the links between psychic and extra-dimensional are ones that science, philosophy, and poetry are "merging" quite well on.

Holographic theory, panpsychism, integrated information theory...plenty more. If you like paradox, have you read any Hegel or Will Blake?

Not that you need to read to understand it...paradox can be a pretty embodied sensation.

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By *rucking-HellMan
46 weeks ago

Northampton

"Do people find them intimidating. Boring, hard to communicate with.

Apparently I'm an introvert and just did an online test."

I generally only find introverts interesting. Usually when they do say something, they have something to say, instead of having to say something.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I’m an introvert and extremely happy with it.

I find social gatherings draining. One on one with someone I click with is perfect as is being on my own.

I do what works for me and I am honest with those who sometimes question my actions.

Not everyone has to be outgoing and chatty. Find a balance that makes you content

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By * kiss like morphineMan
46 weeks ago

The gravelly bit next to the shed

Very, anxiety levels go sky high if the atmosphere or auras aren't right.

Start mumbling, or stuttering or machine gun nattering

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By *rHotNottsMan
46 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I'm an introvert - i worry that people find me boring - I find it challenging to put in the energy that fledgling relationships / friendships need, so it's rare i make friends

I'm happy to call you a friend.

Prey said she's an introverted exhibitionist, which would have similarities.

Or, you can block me knowing I'm a nutter.

Either way, I've just made FAB more efficient for you all xx

It’s primarily about how you recharge. After a long hard day some people prefer a bath and a book where others like me to get out and be around people to re-energise.

In introverted does not make you shy , slow process or lack in confidence

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I know I’m an introvert and I just try and be aware of it if I’m trying to interact. If I’m not, then you’re wasting your time.

How you ‘find’ me will depend on the circumstances of our meeting. Most will find me aloof, boring, unapproachable, hard work. A few will find me witty, passionate and fascinating. An unfortunate few will find me intimidating and downright scary.

Luck of the draw really…..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
46 weeks ago

"I know I’m an introvert and I just try and be aware of it if I’m trying to interact. If I’m not, then you’re wasting your time.

Luck of the draw really…..

In clubs, I think the more chatty people get together while I'm standing about. I usually just head for the Jacquizi..

A conversation started about people could drown in a Jacquizi.

I mentioned that water with bubbles is less dense and cannot support the weight of a person.

A theory about the Bermuda triangle where bubbling seanwater from eruptions cannot the weight of a ship.

An experiment trialed by Britain in ww2 to sink invading ships using air hoses in the channel.

Boring Yes.. so I shut up

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By *nterblueMan
46 weeks ago

manchester

Growing up being an introvert was sometimes difficult. Would be called shy, quiet, awkward, weird, ignorant. Did wonders for the self esteem.

Like many others I struggled to speak in groups. 1 to 1 was OK. Got to college and discovered drinking lots of beer made me more social but also did a lot of stupid things so not the answer.

At work came up with strategies to get my self speaking and running meetings of large groups. However, in a non structured, social gathering, I still struggle. Others always seem to have a natural in to the conversation flow. I start to think about how to be part of it - which is also the realisation that I won't be.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I don't find introverts intimidating or boring. Not at all! Most of my partners have been introverted and so is the person I'm closest to.

I'm very extroverted, but that doesn't mean I only want to spend time with other extraverts. I recognise that some of my friends are introverts and prefer a 1:1 over a group. It's all good.

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By *inkyguyUKMan
46 weeks ago

worcester

Introverts can be amazing in bed

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I know I’m an introvert and I just try and be aware of it if I’m trying to interact. If I’m not, then you’re wasting your time.

Luck of the draw really…..

In clubs, I think the more chatty people get together while I'm standing about. I usually just head for the Jacquizi..

A conversation started about people could drown in a Jacquizi.

I mentioned that water with bubbles is less dense and cannot support the weight of a person.

A theory about the Bermuda triangle where bubbling seanwater from eruptions cannot the weight of a ship.

An experiment trialed by Britain in ww2 to sink invading ships using air hoses in the channel.

Boring Yes.. so I shut up

At least you made it to the jacuzzi. Unless it contained only people I know, I wouldn't go anywhere near it.

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