FabSwingers.com forum: I’m feeling really really defeated

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

By life today. Saturday close to midnight I had some tough news and it’s been a rough week.

Anyone wanna suggest what they do to get through tough weeks?

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By *ayzDreamingMan
over a year ago

Shipton bellinger

"By life today. Saturday close to midnight I had some tough news and it’s been a rough week.

Anyone wanna suggest what they do to get through tough weeks?

I started going to the gym in October, and it's genuinely changed my life. My mental health has improved so much. It's not for everyone but might be worth a try?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Stubborn gets me through.

Fuck you bad news, you won't defeat me. This. Is. Sparta!

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Hugs dude... I usually go for a walk, feed the wildlife, say hello to all the dogs and pop in my favourite coffee shop x

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Um.

I usually take some time to process why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling, and allow myself to feel it without feeling guilty for wallowing. Share with a couple of people close to me for an outside perspective. Just let the reaction play out but make sure I understand why I feel the way I do.

Then I try to focus on positive things. Enjoy time with the people that bring me joy, throw myself into a hobby or distraction if I can't shift the negative edges. Just make sure I have actually processed and accepted what happened first.

Hope you're okay Pickle. I know I'm a spiky bitch but I'm here if there's anything some faraway old goth weirdo can help with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move the body for the mental well-being— go for walks, train, swim, whatever sounds appealing

Talk to friends/loved one

Allow myself time to be with the feelings and either cry, have a wank, or scream

Remind myself I’m human and it’s okay to not be okay but not dwell on the tough news

Lean in to my need for extra tactility and support from my partners

Sleep or attempt to

Find distractions and way to smile or laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mate, try and do a bit of stuff the will release endorphins. Exercising, walking, etc. Pursue a hobby that puts you in place of calm.

Talk to friends if you got ‘em.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Please accept a booby hug.

Tough news is always pretty grim. Hopefully things will get better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no magic answer that works for everyone but people shouldn't resist negative emotions. Acknowledge it, feel what you need to feel and accept its okay to feel shitty for a while. It helps me to keep busy and not be alone with my thoughts too much, also doing something active and putting that energy into exercise. I've had a rough day most days this year but I'm still here, better days will come soon enough

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"By life today. Saturday close to midnight I had some tough news and it’s been a rough week.

Anyone wanna suggest what they do to get through tough weeks?

I’m sorry you’re having a rough time.

I try to ground myself with exercise and also singing - this may not work for everyone. But the changes in breathing seem to help me feel… less bad.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"By life today. Saturday close to midnight I had some tough news and it’s been a rough week.

Anyone wanna suggest what they do to get through tough weeks?

I’m sorry you’re having a rough time.

I try to ground myself with exercise and also singing - this may not work for everyone. But the changes in breathing seem to help me feel… less bad."

PS - it’s okay to not be okay too. And sometimes I just go to bed early x

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"Move the body for the mental well-being— go for walks, train, swim, whatever sounds appealing

Talk to friends/loved one

Allow myself time to be with the feelings and either cry, have a wank, or scream

Remind myself I’m human and it’s okay to not be okay but not dwell on the tough news

Lean in to my need for extra tactility and support from my partners

Sleep or attempt to

Find distractions and way to smile or laugh

These are all good.

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

Little steps. Enjoy your new hairdo.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone I’m enjoying reading these

Currently my plan is to get lit but idk yet

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

*big hug*

I find music comforting… or watching old favourite films. Maybe even going out for a walk? Stop for a coffee and people watch.

Sorry to hear you’ve got bad news. My sumner was similar. Bad news after bad news. But things settle in time.

*big hugs again*

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

Hugs, OP. I usually distract myself by playing my PC game. Killing monsters relaxes me (unless they kill me too much

). Then there is also sex

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Keep chatting on the forums - they are a great distraction from life.

Talk talk talk and talk.

Listening to Music can help too.

Ever tried meditation? Insight Timer is a good one to try with lots of free content.

Keep positive OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me it’s about mindset. We are constantly told we need to be resilient, to find ways to deal with things when life hits a tough patch. I disagree.

When you mow the lawn, cut your hair, shave, eat whatever it is..you’ll have to do it again. And repeat. You don’t get despondent because you know you’ll just need food again later.

Tough times are like that. To me. Accept it as something happening, the universe unfolding as it was meant to. You job is just to be there in the moment, experience this tough patch for what it is. And in time it passes and you need to mow the lawn again.

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By *weetCherryWoman
over a year ago

London

I am really sorry Pickles. I think I might not be the best at that so I will not be giving any advice, but I will virtually sit by you in silent solidarity and sending all my best healing vibes your way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think back to tough times and remember how I thought the pain and toughness would never go away

Then I look at now how it’s gone, I’m ok, people I love are ok and I’ve grown by pushing through the tough times

It’s crazy how often we think something’s gonna last forever, despite the fact we have endless proof nothing does

Appreciate the good times, appreciate the tough times. Nothing lasts forever and everything is a lesson in its own way

A lesson learned is a lesson I can teach, and a winner never won without a lesson in defeat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Keep chatting on the forums - they are a great distraction from life.

Talk talk talk and talk.

Listening to Music can help too.

Ever tried meditation? Insight Timer is a good one to try with lots of free content.

Keep positive OP "

The forums do usually help. Just use it and block everything else out. Messages. Everything.

And meditation is amazing. Haven’t had the time or dice this week but this afternoon I will so I think I will

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By *hunky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"By life today. Saturday close to midnight I had some tough news and it’s been a rough week.

Anyone wanna suggest what they do to get through tough weeks?

***

Take it as it can't be any worse, so the only way is up after.

Try to distract myself with things occupy my mind.

A good cry helps sometimes, but it's not easy.

We (men) were taught since we were kids not to do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go through the motions pal .. try and listen to music … find things to make me smile etc … oh and pep talk myself …

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/12/23 12:01:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By life today. Saturday close to midnight I had some tough news and it’s been a rough week.

Anyone wanna suggest what they do to get through tough weeks?

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I think firstly it's important to process the news and allow yourself to react to it.

When i find myself feeling flat, i try to work on building my resistance - i like to carve out time in my day to walk in blue / green spaces.. So a park maybe and close to water if possible, as something about water lifts my soul.

I also play music to fill my brain - not to stop the thoughts about the news, but somehow to comfort the brain.. I like to listen to Spotify cello music, or brain /meditation music

I also like to play Moby's yoga meditation music at home and allow it to vibrate through my brain

Make sure you are eating /drinking and generally be kind to yourself. If you feel sadness, let it pass through you. But try not to dwell in the moment - make a mental list of 5 positive things.. Repeat daily

Everything passes with time, whether ee want it to or not, and sharp edges become smoother and more bearable

Sending love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cry and just be sad.

Tomorrow is another day.

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"To me it’s about mindset. We are constantly told we need to be resilient, to find ways to deal with things when life hits a tough patch. I disagree.

When you mow the lawn, cut your hair, shave, eat whatever it is..you’ll have to do it again. And repeat. You don’t get despondent because you know you’ll just need food again later.

This is a great post worth repeating! Inspired!

Hope you're feeling better soon Pickles!

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By *ommy2125Man
over a year ago

newport

When I feel low, I like to get out and do things I love, so surfing or run or anything where I'm enjoying myself, active and outside.

Everyone is different but get away from your phone, go down the pub but don't get hammered, just hang out with people in person.

Above all else though let it sink in, you have to go through the low first but the quicker you try to get back on with living the less difficult it will be to recover.

At the end of the day if something has happened that's not good, you can't change it you can only move forwards and making the most of what's coming next.

Keep going and don't be defeated.

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Tbh pickles I have no idea and if you find the answer please share - more seriously though talk (to someone, anyone) and whatever the news is don't bottle it up - that's my go to solution and it's never helped me, the bottle it up route that is.

Hugs

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By *oppleWangerMan
over a year ago

Gods Country

"By life today. Saturday close to midnight I had some tough news and it’s been a rough week.

Anyone wanna suggest what they do to get through tough weeks?

I normally shut myself off from everyone for a few days and binge watch Inbetweeners, White Gold & The American Pie movies, life always seems a hell of alot better after that - obviously its each to their own, but you’ll figure something out!

Best of luck

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"To me it’s about mindset. We are constantly told we need to be resilient, to find ways to deal with things when life hits a tough patch. I disagree.

When you mow the lawn, cut your hair, shave, eat whatever it is..you’ll have to do it again. And repeat. You don’t get despondent because you know you’ll just need food again later.

This is a great post worth repeating! Inspired!

Hope you're feeling better soon Pickles!"

Seconded enthusiastically

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"To me it’s about mindset. We are constantly told we need to be resilient, to find ways to deal with things when life hits a tough patch. I disagree.

When you mow the lawn, cut your hair, shave, eat whatever it is..you’ll have to do it again. And repeat. You don’t get despondent because you know you’ll just need food again later.

I agree wholeheartedly with this.

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

All you can do is take each day at a time.

And within that, take each hour at a time.

You may not feel progress but you have made some.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Life is hard sometimes. I accept that and remind myself there are easy and good times more than hard times.

I spend time with people I love or really like when I'm struggling.

If I'm physically struggling I go to bed to read something happy or watch something interesting.

You'll get through this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry you're having a hard time, OP. When I am struggling, I look for glimmers. Small joys that make me smile. Over time, they add up and start to make me feel happier.

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By *unlife2000Man
over a year ago

Western Bay

Same, doesn't even have to be bad news or something external.

I can usually trace my mood back to a thought that went through my head an hour ago.

Once you identify it then you can logic it out.

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By *unlife2000Man
over a year ago

Western Bay

Yup, get outside. Go to a park and watch squirrels chase each other in a tree.

Puts things in perspective.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Yup, get outside. Go to a park and watch squirrels chase each other in a tree.

Puts things in perspective."

Don't forget nuts for the squirrels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some really good genuine replies here , going for a walk especially in the woods is my go to , but everyone is different it's just trying to find what does it for you , good luck.

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