FabSwingers.com forum: Emotionally intelligent

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What is it, how do you explain what quality that is in a person?

I read it a lot specially in dating apps, but I don’t know what it is.

I’ve always explain to people, I’m an emotional mess, does that make me an intelligent with my emotions? I dunno.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty much the ability to understand, process and manage both yours and your partners emotions. Being self aware of your own shit whilst having empathy towards others, understanding each other is important so that's why people with emotional intelligence have good relationships.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm intelligent enough to know I have emotions does that count?!

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Means basically nothing on dating apps

Some of the least emotionally intelligent guys I know pull the most women

Words are cheap, look at people actions

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By *ink vixenCouple
over a year ago

Medway

9 out of 10 men are now narcissist even though 9 out of 10 women had never heard the word 5 years ago.

Its just more shit that people write on their dating app profiles.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

EQ (emotional intelligence) is becoming a key factor in team building in the business world wheras IQ was the driver previously. Lots of information on this is out there ad well as how if benefits your personal life.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

As an evolved higher being from the planet Vulcan we have learned to not have emotions this allows us to tackle any problems with logic and reasoning.

Emotions cloud judgment.

Live long and prosper

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"EQ (emotional intelligence) is becoming a key factor in team building in the business world wheras IQ was the driver previously. Lots of information on this is out there ad well as how if benefits your personal life."

So there’s a test we can take then? Like Mensa?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm intelligent.

And I can be emotional.

Not at the same time though.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Intelligence and me have never been said in the same sentence.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So there’s a test we can take then? Like Mensa?

I'm not certain of it but I think there is something of the sort. It gives people a 'personality type', I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s basically a combination of empathy and what used to be called high self monitoring (being able to adjust your behaviours to be appropriate to a given situation).

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

So there’s a test we can take then? Like Mensa?

Yes there are several tests that measure emotional intelligence. The Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test is widely used.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So there’s a test we can take then? Like Mensa?

Yes, Google it. Take it with a pinch of salt but it may give interesting results or even what you already know.

(The Google it comment sounds cunty but it's not meant that way. I Googled what EQ means.)

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

"So there’s a test we can take then? Like Mensa?

I'm not certain of it but I think there is something of the sort. It gives people a 'personality type', I think.

This is Myers-Briggs which basically tells you what you are (confirms it) wheras EQ can be taught and people can modify behaviours and thought patterns but as with all these things, only if they want to.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

To me it recognition of when it’s ok and not ok to be a dick

I do like M-B, Insights Discovery and other such profiling methodologies though

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Its about empathy and being able to read people so you can anticoate their needs. Unfortunately narcissists often attract high eq people.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Pretty much the ability to understand, process and manage both yours and your partners emotions. Being self aware of your own shit whilst having empathy towards others, understanding each other is important so that's why people with emotional intelligence have good relationships."

This ^^

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Pop or Lay psychology and all that goes with it can be harmful in the wrong hands and mind, to any party.

Emotional intelligence is no biggy and is summed up simply above.

Emotional = Emotions/Feelings

Intelligence = The ability to learn and adapt / the ability to gain knowledge and skills and apply them.

The worst interpretation of it I witness is that people feel they are being 'emotionally intelligent' by allowing a twat to be a twat and not distancing themselves from twats.

Being emotionally intelligent / understanding doesn't mean making excuses or being a door mat.

Quite the opposite.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This ^^

So we have to manage someone else’s emotions??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 21/12/23 08:14:52]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

This ^^

So we have to manage someone else’s emotions?? "

You already do Wuddy. If a raging bloke is smashing up the pub you don't engage mention to him that he's standing on your newspaper do you ?

In relationships be aware of how the other person is feeling or of how your behaviour might be impacting on their feelings and their day ........ is all.

Don't read to much into it just know what drives you and know what your partner might be feeling and REMEMBER there's no way you can actually know but if you've been on the planet long enough you should be aware sommat is up and you can engage in a chat..

As I said before..... DONT assume this means you must be a manipulated door mat.

Being emotionally intelligent is good. Being astute and aware is even better

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"So there’s a test we can take then? Like Mensa?

I'm not certain of it but I think there is something of the sort. It gives people a 'personality type', I think.

Sounds like the introduction to scientology

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

I'm emotionally thick as pig shit ...

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"As an evolved higher being from the planet Vulcan we have learned to not have emotions this allows us to tackle any problems with logic and reasoning.

Emotions cloud judgment.

Live long and prosper "

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’d say self-awareness is the foundation of EI. Knowing why you react the way you do , being able to pause between stimulus and reaction - understanding emotions are often exaggerated inaccurate & automatic responses based on your previous life experiences or your biology , rather than the current situation.

Building on that - effectively managing them , understanding them in others and being able to choose to act differently because of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s a brilliant book that goes in depth into emotional intelligence, the different levels of EQ, and how to improve your own EQ. It has great insight into applicability in personal and business relationships. It is a brilliant introspective read that I’d highly rate.

It’s titled, Emotional Intelligence: Why it Matters More than IQ by Daniel Goleman.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I do A test. …

I’m a protagonist.

which sounds like a baddie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I do A test. …

I’m a protagonist.

which sounds like a baddie.

You stick your finger up people's bums?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So I do A test. …

I’m a protagonist.

which sounds like a baddie.

You stick your finger up people's bums? "

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take emotional intelligence as code for not tolerating liars, boasters, and men's juvenile tendencies

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"There’s a brilliant book that goes in depth into emotional intelligence, the different levels of EQ, and how to improve your own EQ. It has great insight into applicability in personal and business relationships. It is a brilliant introspective read that I’d highly rate.

It’s titled, Emotional Intelligence: Why it Matters More than IQ by Daniel Goleman.

I liked this book. In fact I like most books by Daniel Gorman But I strongly disagree with his beliefs about motivation as do many others.

Relying on motivation is a dangerous trap, often in life you have to do things , tough things without motivation or award.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"So I do A test. …

I’m a protagonist.

which sounds like a baddie.

You stick your finger up people's bums? "

Isn't that a proctologist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being emotionally intelligent for me is about being able to identify what your feeling, why you feel that way, being able to communicate those feelings effectively. You are in control of your emotions, you do not scream shout, become defensive , resort to personal attacks or try to deflect the discussion because your hearing things that you don't want to hear. In my opinion very few people are actually emotionally intelligent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nell is incredibly self aware. Unfortunately I have the emotional self awareness of a potato. It's something I'm hoping to address this year.

MrWho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I do A test. …

I’m a protagonist.

which sounds like a baddie.

You stick your finger up people's bums?

Isn't that a proctologist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s titled, Emotional Intelligence: Why it Matters More than IQ by Daniel Goleman.

I liked this book. In fact I like most books by Daniel Gorman But I strongly disagree with his beliefs about motivation as do many others.

Relying on motivation is a dangerous trap, often in life you have to do things , tough things without motivation or award.

Is it still motivation though? The opposite would be doing nothing. Still some motivation against the 'nothing'?

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"What is it, how do you explain what quality that is in a person?

I read it a lot specially in dating apps, but I don’t know what it is.

I’ve always explain to people, I’m an emotional mess, does that make me an intelligent with my emotions? I dunno.

"
can fall in love but have the intelligence to realise it won't last forever

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

This ^^

So we have to manage someone else’s emotions?? "

Yes, in an self aware, empathic way. If I'm having a tough time, he knows exactly how to understand, process and manage my emotions, so I can reset and move forward

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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

So there’s a test we can take then? Like Mensa?

Yes, there are evidence based measures which are tested for their reliability and validity to measure this. They’re just not found for free online, which is where people get sucked in to BS in my opinion.

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