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Comedy arrest reports

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By *tanley Funseeker OP   Man
over a year ago

stanley

Ok folks just for fun, provide a comical and ideally non offensive reason why the person in the post above you was picked up by the local constabulary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shitting on an ex’s doorstep.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"Shitting on an ex’s doorstep. "

Stealing pickles and using them to scare cats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was found with 35 zhu zhu pets stuffed inside the holiest of holeys. Taken from Smyths toy superstore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For breaking and entering a virgin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/23 20:42:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretending to be a hose pipe at a garden centre, dressed as a gnome, squirting passers by with his love seed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pretending to be a hose pipe at a garden centre, dressed as a gnome, squirting passers by with his love seed."

I only did that one time, and they promised the story would never get out

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By *exyCarla181Couple
over a year ago

Leamington Spa

Didn't share his minstrels with the copper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For driving under the influence of Fellatio

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
over a year ago

St Leonards


"For driving under the influence of Fellatio"

Shoplifting a Toblerone in her vagina.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

For dressing as Krampus and handing out coal to kids at the local shops, saying to them "you've been naughhhhty".

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

For being just too fabulous dahling.

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
over a year ago

St Leonards


"For being just too fabulous dahling."

For being one of the fabulous collective.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"For being just too fabulous dahling.

For being one of the fabulous collective. "

For black mailing the PTA

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By *inacolada3Couple
over a year ago

kettering


"For being just too fabulous dahling.

For being one of the fabulous collective.

For black mailing the PTA "

Theft of a wheelbarrow x

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
over a year ago

St Leonards


"For being just too fabulous dahling.

For being one of the fabulous collective.

For black mailing the PTA

Theft of a wheelbarrow x "

Public sex in said wheelbarrow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For being just too fabulous dahling.

For being one of the fabulous collective.

For black mailing the PTA "

Extra mark for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow that's good I would just take your particulars down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stealing wind socks from local airports

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Handling swollen goods.

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
over a year ago

St Leonards


"Handling swollen goods."

Oh that was good .

Cruelty to animals - spanking his monkey repeatedly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wearing a loud shirt during the hours of darkness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exceeding the bounds of his mustache permit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Exceeding the bounds of his mustache permit"

Found trying to nibble his way through all of St Austels mince pies

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere


"Exceeding the bounds of his mustache permit

Found trying to nibble his way through all of St Austels mince pies "

Bouncing naked on a garden gnomes hat humming a song by Clannad without a public performance licence!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stealing stair carpets from bungalows and licking just the stripes on humbugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^ for performing some pretty questionable medical operations with zero credentials.

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

Asking ladies to hide his snowman somewhere warm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Asking ladies to hide his snowman somewhere warm."

Eating my last malteaser

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By *winging NutsMan
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Asking ladies to hide his snowman somewhere warm.

Eating my last malteaser "

Gross indecency and being rimming in public!

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