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"Could just be a symptom of my low self confidence but looking back at all of my partners I felt that I was “ punching above my weight “ with almost all of them. The few I shared that with told me I was being daft but the thought never went away even when relationships were good and stable. Anyone else have or have had similar feelings either with current or past partners? Did you overcome it? If so how? Are we predisposed to underestimating our own attractiveness or worth?" I've been told this twice with Aurelia. Once on a cruise and then in the taxi to the airport after the cruise lol | |||
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"Based upon societies standards, yes. I always have been. I don't buy in to that shit though - yes the majority of people have the same universal generic attraction traits, there are "standards of beauty" that attract across the board. Now and again though, you find that weirdo that finds the outliers attractive. The person most people ignore or dismiss as average or below. Sometimes that weirdo is somebody that is considered universally attractive yet finds me attractive themselves. I'm not going to argue with that. So yes, sometimes by those standards I am punching above. But I don't dwell on that. I think they are hot they think I am hot. The rest doesn't matter. " Thanks for this, I think you’ve hit the nail right on the head with this response. | |||
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"Checks my friends list....yes I definitely am punching. " The fact I have friends proves I am | |||
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"I think it’s healthy to feel you’re punching above your weight. But to remember that your partner feels exactly the same way about you. You both think the other person is amazing. That’s why you fancy them." Think this is well said. I go through spells where I don't understand why she isn't chasing other guys and remember that she loves all of me x | |||
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"I think it’s healthy to feel you’re punching above your weight. But to remember that your partner feels exactly the same way about you. You both think the other person is amazing. That’s why you fancy them. Think this is well said. I go through spells where I don't understand why she isn't chasing other guys and remember that she loves all of me x" Perhaps she is | |||
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"Umm I think I’ve always felt lucky to be with my partners and find them really attractive. But I think at some point you have to believe in yourself and also listen to your partners when they tell you how attractive you are. Besides it doesn’t really matter. If they’re a 10 and I’m a 3, there’s more to me clearly because we’re together. And all that matters is we’re together " 10+3 = 13, and that's a lucky number  | |||
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"Does 'punching above your weight' mean that you think someone is better than you because of how they look of because they're a better person? Isn't it a bit insulting to your partner if you think you're not worthy of them and insulting to you if other people think it?" I dunno. What I do know is, when I look at who I’ve been with, I think, ‘you could have anyone, why me?’, and then I also think, we’ll maybe they see something the way I see something in them. But that’s when it’s not just a hook up. I think you can pull anyone (by that I mean get lucky) if the timing is right. People get horny, it’s a fact. | |||
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"Blokes who would love to fuck my wife tell her I’m punching all the time, oh how the jealousy makes me chuckle. The mr " she's fairly smoking in fairness | |||
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"To think one is punching above is actually to insult who you’re with; you’re really saying they can’t do better. In reality they probably feel the same, and people value different things in partners. " 100% the idea of punching is, in my opinion an insult to bith parties involved. I wrote about this on a kink site as i have been accused of it many times. Though the woman i am with at those times, strongly disagrees. I know a lot of people put a lot of value in looks, but ultimately a person who is aesthetically a 10 with a personality of 0 is in by my reckoning a 0. Just my opinion. | |||
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"Could just be a symptom of my low self confidence but looking back at all of my partners I felt that I was “ punching above my weight “ with almost all of them. The few I shared that with told me I was being daft but the thought never went away even when relationships were good and stable. Anyone else have or have had similar feelings either with current or past partners? Did you overcome it? If so how? Are we predisposed to underestimating our own attractiveness or worth?" You should take being told you're being daft as a compliment. They should take being told you think you're punching as a compliment. It's a term many Men use (generally in a light hearted way), but some people take it too seriously. | |||
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"My daughter thinks that my partners have Shallow Hal syndrome. Her partner said I must be filthy in bed to get the men I do, and keep them. I'd like to think I'm slightly more attractive than they think "Blimey! They're don't mince their words 
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"Blokes who would love to fuck my wife tell her I’m punching all the time, oh how the jealousy makes me chuckle. The mr she's fairly smoking in fairness " How do you know ? She could have a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp and smell like the backend of a bin lorry. Not so smoking then. The mr | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction?" Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality " Even in a long term relationship? | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Even in a long term relationship? " Yeah, purely because usually people looking in aren’t taking into account the length of the relationship, because it’s not something you can see | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Even in a long term relationship? Yeah, purely because usually people looking in aren’t taking into account the length of the relationship, because it’s not something you can see " I agree with you there. How about the people within the relationship? | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Even in a long term relationship? Yeah, purely because usually people looking in aren’t taking into account the length of the relationship, because it’s not something you can see I agree with you there. How about the people within the relationship? " I think it’s still the same, but they understand why they’re together The whole “who is punching” thing is a really shallow observation. It’s not meant to factor in many of the emotional things that bring 2 people together | |||
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"Could just be a symptom of my low self confidence but looking back at all of my partners I felt that I was “ punching above my weight “ with almost all of them. The few I shared that with told me I was being daft but the thought never went away even when relationships were good and stable. Anyone else have or have had similar feelings either with current or past partners? Did you overcome it? If so how? Are we predisposed to underestimating our own attractiveness or worth?" Him- I wouldn’t explain it as punching above my weight as we have been together for 30 years in total so I guess she’s aged better than me lol. But what I do get is a massive sense of pride when I walk round clubs holding hands kissing and having this extremely sexy attractive lady knowing she’s mine and loves me unconditionally. I do feel some guys look at her and think what is she doing with him.. | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Even in a long term relationship? Yeah, purely because usually people looking in aren’t taking into account the length of the relationship, because it’s not something you can see I agree with you there. How about the people within the relationship? I think it’s still the same, but they understand why they’re together The whole “who is punching” thing is a really shallow observation. It’s not meant to factor in many of the emotional things that bring 2 people together " I think you're right. | |||
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"Nope to hell with that - I hate that ‘looks’ are deemed the most important thing about humans by society, almost the be all and end all of a person. We have way more to offer than that, we should be more focused on people who are genuine, funny, intelligent, respectful etc these qualities will last looks will fade. As for my worth I don’t need someone to validate that, I’ll have days I feel flatter than others but it will mainly be down to how my hormones are on that given day. People who think they are superior because of how they look ain’t my kind of people X" Do you think society has deemed that? Or do you think people have actual physical preferences? I hate that some people try to pretend any preference for looks is not only inherently bad, but not “real” - as if it’s made up by society People like pretty people. That’s not changed recently, that’s historically been how most animals operate I don’t think it’s a bad thing either | |||
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"Nope to hell with that - I hate that ‘looks’ are deemed the most important thing about humans by society, almost the be all and end all of a person. We have way more to offer than that, we should be more focused on people who are genuine, funny, intelligent, respectful etc these qualities will last looks will fade. As for my worth I don’t need someone to validate that, I’ll have days I feel flatter than others but it will mainly be down to how my hormones are on that given day. People who think they are superior because of how they look ain’t my kind of people X Do you think society has deemed that? Or do you think people have actual physical preferences? I hate that some people try to pretend any preference for looks is not only inherently bad, but not “real” - as if it’s made up by society People like pretty people. That’s not changed recently, that’s historically been how most animals operate I don’t think it’s a bad thing either " Society is spoon fed pretty in a stereotypical and idealistic way. - look at social media/advertising/marketing we are almost programmed Preferences are one thing, arrogance and superiority gifted to yourself for being pretty is quite different X | |||
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"Nope to hell with that - I hate that ‘looks’ are deemed the most important thing about humans by society, almost the be all and end all of a person. We have way more to offer than that, we should be more focused on people who are genuine, funny, intelligent, respectful etc these qualities will last looks will fade. As for my worth I don’t need someone to validate that, I’ll have days I feel flatter than others but it will mainly be down to how my hormones are on that given day. People who think they are superior because of how they look ain’t my kind of people X Do you think society has deemed that? Or do you think people have actual physical preferences? I hate that some people try to pretend any preference for looks is not only inherently bad, but not “real” - as if it’s made up by society People like pretty people. That’s not changed recently, that’s historically been how most animals operate I don’t think it’s a bad thing either Society is spoon fed pretty in a stereotypical and idealistic way. - look at social media/advertising/marketing we are almost programmed Preferences are one thing, arrogance and superiority gifted to yourself for being pretty is quite different X" Ah right gotcha, completely different topic  | |||
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"Nope to hell with that - I hate that ‘looks’ are deemed the most important thing about humans by society, almost the be all and end all of a person. We have way more to offer than that, we should be more focused on people who are genuine, funny, intelligent, respectful etc these qualities will last looks will fade. As for my worth I don’t need someone to validate that, I’ll have days I feel flatter than others but it will mainly be down to how my hormones are on that given day. People who think they are superior because of how they look ain’t my kind of people X" this single post makes you more attractive than all your photos ever could ?? | |||
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"Blokes who would love to fuck my wife tell her I’m punching all the time, oh how the jealousy makes me chuckle. The mr " You both look seem like a real fun, interesting couple, great content. They are probably jealous they dont have the confidence to be like you. | |||
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"I was once told by a super hot buff bloke never to judge a book by its cover. In other words to stop assuming, by someone’s looks, what type they’d go for. Truth is, we all like what we like. No rhyme or reason for it. So if someone you like chooses you, just go with it and enjoy it. Don’t let insecurity spoil it. " Exactly this. There are no leagues, no one is ‘punching’, we’re all just people and we should believe others when they tell us that they find us attractive. | |||
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"My daughter thinks that my partners have Shallow Hal syndrome. Her partner said I must be filthy in bed to get the men I do, and keep them. I'd like to think I'm slightly more attractive than they think
Blimey! They're don't mince their words
"It was all said in a joking way, but I do think they're flabbergasted as to why some men find me attractive. She's quite naive and innocent, my youngest daughter. | |||
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"My daughter thinks that my partners have Shallow Hal syndrome. Her partner said I must be filthy in bed to get the men I do, and keep them. I'd like to think I'm slightly more attractive than they think
Blimey! They're don't mince their words
It was all said in a joking way, but I do think they're flabbergasted as to why some men find me attractive.
She's quite naive and innocent, my youngest daughter. "Also kids often don't imagine their parents are sexual in any way too | |||
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"I was once told by a super hot buff bloke never to judge a book by its cover. ... " Always judge a book by which pages have been the most thumbed (or stained). | |||
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"My daughter thinks that my partners have Shallow Hal syndrome. Her partner said I must be filthy in bed to get the men I do, and keep them. I'd like to think I'm slightly more attractive than they think
Blimey! They're don't mince their words
It was all said in a joking way, but I do think they're flabbergasted as to why some men find me attractive.
She's quite naive and innocent, my youngest daughter. "Nanna!   | |||
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"My daughter thinks that my partners have Shallow Hal syndrome. Her partner said I must be filthy in bed to get the men I do, and keep them. I'd like to think I'm slightly more attractive than they think
Blimey! They're don't mince their words
It was all said in a joking way, but I do think they're flabbergasted as to why some men find me attractive.
She's quite naive and innocent, my youngest daughter.
"One of the best 'come on' lines I was ever fed was from a woman who told me "My daughter says I shouldn't let men know that I am so easy". | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality " Eh? Honestly, I read guff like this, that reinforce gender stereotypes, and praise all ye gods for the fact I found a man who doesn't understand social "norms". I earn more than him, always have. What we earn as individuals has absolutely bugger all to do with anything. It's irrelevant to my social standing. It's irrelevant to his. All our money goes into one account and we spend it as we see fit. What I look like (or what he looks like) has nothing to do with my or his social standing. It's just how we look. We are not in a relationship because of what we earn or do for work. We've been together since sixth form, neither of us had a profession and both had shitty weekend jobs, paying tuppence ha'penny. Everything we have, we've built together, as a team. I bloody well wish all this gender stereotyping BS would do one!!!!! | |||
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"I really should learn to just stay in my lane "Why ? | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Eh? Honestly, I read guff like this, that reinforce gender stereotypes, and praise all ye gods for the fact I found a man who doesn't understand social "norms". I earn more than him, always have. What we earn as individuals has absolutely bugger all to do with anything. It's irrelevant to my social standing. It's irrelevant to his. All our money goes into one account and we spend it as we see fit. What I look like (or what he looks like) has nothing to do with my or his social standing. It's just how we look. We are not in a relationship because of what we earn or do for work. We've been together since sixth form, neither of us had a profession and both had shitty weekend jobs, paying tuppence ha'penny. Everything we have, we've built together, as a team. I bloody well wish all this gender stereotyping BS would do one!!!!! " Everyone understood Caroline Aherne's joke comment to Debbie McGee. | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Eh? Honestly, I read guff like this, that reinforce gender stereotypes, and praise all ye gods for the fact I found a man who doesn't understand social "norms". I earn more than him, always have. What we earn as individuals has absolutely bugger all to do with anything. It's irrelevant to my social standing. It's irrelevant to his. All our money goes into one account and we spend it as we see fit. What I look like (or what he looks like) has nothing to do with my or his social standing. It's just how we look. We are not in a relationship because of what we earn or do for work. We've been together since sixth form, neither of us had a profession and both had shitty weekend jobs, paying tuppence ha'penny. Everything we have, we've built together, as a team. I bloody well wish all this gender stereotyping BS would do one!!!!! Everyone understood Caroline Aherne's joke comment to Debbie McGee. " Honestly? Not convinced Mr KC would have understood it, had it been in his cultural frame of reference! | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Eh? Honestly, I read guff like this, that reinforce gender stereotypes, and praise all ye gods for the fact I found a man who doesn't understand social "norms". I earn more than him, always have. What we earn as individuals has absolutely bugger all to do with anything. It's irrelevant to my social standing. It's irrelevant to his. All our money goes into one account and we spend it as we see fit. What I look like (or what he looks like) has nothing to do with my or his social standing. It's just how we look. We are not in a relationship because of what we earn or do for work. We've been together since sixth form, neither of us had a profession and both had shitty weekend jobs, paying tuppence ha'penny. Everything we have, we've built together, as a team. I bloody well wish all this gender stereotyping BS would do one!!!!! Everyone understood Caroline Aherne's joke comment to Debbie McGee. Honestly? Not convinced Mr KC would have understood it, had it been in his cultural frame of reference! " Ok, almost everyone. My dad wouldn't have to be fair. The thing is *most* people knew and understood that society assumes however unfairly, that men go for a woman's looks and women go for men that have money and/or power. I know and you know that isn't true in many cases but still the belief persists. There have been times when I've been the highest earner and times when Mr N has (more frequently actually). Times when I've worked and he's stayed home and vice versa. I think that the old stereotypes are on the way out but it's going to be a long time before they do. I see our kids not conforming to them so there's hope | |||
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"In relationships I haven’t but on here I would say so" Not from what I've seen of you  | |||
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"I'm definitely punching.. hubby "Watch that doesn't turn to fisting, lol | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Eh? Honestly, I read guff like this, that reinforce gender stereotypes, and praise all ye gods for the fact I found a man who doesn't understand social "norms". I earn more than him, always have. What we earn as individuals has absolutely bugger all to do with anything. It's irrelevant to my social standing. It's irrelevant to his. All our money goes into one account and we spend it as we see fit. What I look like (or what he looks like) has nothing to do with my or his social standing. It's just how we look. We are not in a relationship because of what we earn or do for work. We've been together since sixth form, neither of us had a profession and both had shitty weekend jobs, paying tuppence ha'penny. Everything we have, we've built together, as a team. I bloody well wish all this gender stereotyping BS would do one!!!!! Everyone understood Caroline Aherne's joke comment to Debbie McGee. Honestly? Not convinced Mr KC would have understood it, had it been in his cultural frame of reference! Ok, almost everyone. My dad wouldn't have to be fair. The thing is *most* people knew and understood that society assumes however unfairly, that men go for a woman's looks and women go for men that have money and/or power. I know and you know that isn't true in many cases but still the belief persists. There have been times when I've been the highest earner and times when Mr N has (more frequently actually). Times when I've worked and he's stayed home and vice versa. I think that the old stereotypes are on the way out but it's going to be a long time before they do. I see our kids not conforming to them so there's hope " They’ll go away once they stop being true “Not always true” isn’t enough to make the stereotype go away And is it even a stereotype if it’s true? | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Eh? Honestly, I read guff like this, that reinforce gender stereotypes, and praise all ye gods for the fact I found a man who doesn't understand social "norms". I earn more than him, always have. What we earn as individuals has absolutely bugger all to do with anything. It's irrelevant to my social standing. It's irrelevant to his. All our money goes into one account and we spend it as we see fit. What I look like (or what he looks like) has nothing to do with my or his social standing. It's just how we look. We are not in a relationship because of what we earn or do for work. We've been together since sixth form, neither of us had a profession and both had shitty weekend jobs, paying tuppence ha'penny. Everything we have, we've built together, as a team. I bloody well wish all this gender stereotyping BS would do one!!!!! " I think your naive | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Eh? Honestly, I read guff like this, that reinforce gender stereotypes, and praise all ye gods for the fact I found a man who doesn't understand social "norms". I earn more than him, always have. What we earn as individuals has absolutely bugger all to do with anything. It's irrelevant to my social standing. It's irrelevant to his. All our money goes into one account and we spend it as we see fit. What I look like (or what he looks like) has nothing to do with my or his social standing. It's just how we look. We are not in a relationship because of what we earn or do for work. We've been together since sixth form, neither of us had a profession and both had shitty weekend jobs, paying tuppence ha'penny. Everything we have, we've built together, as a team. I bloody well wish all this gender stereotyping BS would do one!!!!! Everyone understood Caroline Aherne's joke comment to Debbie McGee. Honestly? Not convinced Mr KC would have understood it, had it been in his cultural frame of reference! Ok, almost everyone. My dad wouldn't have to be fair. The thing is *most* people knew and understood that society assumes however unfairly, that men go for a woman's looks and women go for men that have money and/or power. I know and you know that isn't true in many cases but still the belief persists. There have been times when I've been the highest earner and times when Mr N has (more frequently actually). Times when I've worked and he's stayed home and vice versa. I think that the old stereotypes are on the way out but it's going to be a long time before they do. I see our kids not conforming to them so there's hope They’ll go away once they stop being true “Not always true” isn’t enough to make the stereotype go away And is it even a stereotype if it’s true? " I think it's oversimplified and *sometimes* true, which is basically what I understand a stereotype to be. I don't believe (I don't think you do either) that you can successfully navigate life on anything but a superficial level if you go through it thinking every relationship conforms to a particular set of rules | |||
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" They’ll go away once they stop being true “Not always true” isn’t enough to make the stereotype go away And is it even a stereotype if it’s true? " It's not true in the 21st century though. I can't think of any of my friends who think like this. It's outdated nonsense. | |||
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"Could just be a symptom of my low self confidence but looking back at all of my partners I felt that I was “ punching above my weight “ with almost all of them. The few I shared that with told me I was being daft but the thought never went away even when relationships were good and stable. Anyone else have or have had similar feelings either with current or past partners? Did you overcome it? If so how? Are we predisposed to underestimating our own attractiveness or worth?" Meh, we all bleed.  | |||
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"I'm still trying to understand this. Is it a looks based thing? Are people valuing each other, including long term partners, based on how they look? Do people look at a couple and judge their relationship on whether one of them is better looking than the other? Is all this stuff people say on here about looks not mattering and personslity being more important a convenient fiction? Depends which way you look If your looking at the female part of the couple, your comparing how attractive she is physically If it’s the male part, it’s a combination of a physical and social standing/wealth/success etc It’s very rarely about personality Eh? Honestly, I read guff like this, that reinforce gender stereotypes, and praise all ye gods for the fact I found a man who doesn't understand social "norms". I earn more than him, always have. What we earn as individuals has absolutely bugger all to do with anything. It's irrelevant to my social standing. It's irrelevant to his. All our money goes into one account and we spend it as we see fit. What I look like (or what he looks like) has nothing to do with my or his social standing. It's just how we look. We are not in a relationship because of what we earn or do for work. We've been together since sixth form, neither of us had a profession and both had shitty weekend jobs, paying tuppence ha'penny. Everything we have, we've built together, as a team. I bloody well wish all this gender stereotyping BS would do one!!!!! Everyone understood Caroline Aherne's joke comment to Debbie McGee. Honestly? Not convinced Mr KC would have understood it, had it been in his cultural frame of reference! Ok, almost everyone. My dad wouldn't have to be fair. The thing is *most* people knew and understood that society assumes however unfairly, that men go for a woman's looks and women go for men that have money and/or power. I know and you know that isn't true in many cases but still the belief persists. There have been times when I've been the highest earner and times when Mr N has (more frequently actually). Times when I've worked and he's stayed home and vice versa. I think that the old stereotypes are on the way out but it's going to be a long time before they do. I see our kids not conforming to them so there's hope They’ll go away once they stop being true “Not always true” isn’t enough to make the stereotype go away And is it even a stereotype if it’s true? I think it's oversimplified and *sometimes* true, which is basically what I understand a stereotype to be. I don't believe (I don't think you do either) that you can successfully navigate life on anything but a superficial level if you go through it thinking every relationship conforms to a particular set of rules" I don’t think the discussion around a somewhat commonly used joke/phase “they’re punching” means that anyone thinks every relationship forms under those conditions I do think that men go for looks and women for status/power/money is extremely true though and that although lots of exceptions exist, the exceptions don’t exist because the rule is wrong, they exist because most people don’t get what they want in life and are willing to settle for a little less than what they really want I think denying that is just a coping mechanism for people that still believe Disney love exists and is the norm | |||
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"I really should learn to just stay in my lane
Why ? "Because none of the people I'm attracted to are interested in me... *shrugs | |||
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"Does 'punching above your weight' mean that you think someone is better than you because of how they look of because they're a better person? Isn't it a bit insulting to your partner if you think you're not worthy of them and insulting to you if other people think it?" Well said you look AWESOME | |||
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