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Making love to a beautiful woman...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

is very much like laying a carpet. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have laminate flooring.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Walk all over her? I don't think so...

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By *odevilWoman
over a year ago

exeter


"I have laminate flooring."

Cold, hard and uncomfortable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have laminate flooring.

Cold, hard and uncomfortable? "

And wipe clean

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By *iz78Woman
over a year ago

wirral

Buying jewellery for a beautiful woman is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman. First you check the size of her ring to make sure it will fit. Then you end up giving her a pearl necklace

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I have laminate flooring.

Cold, hard and uncomfortable? "

She is yeah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello Swiss Tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have laminate flooring.

Cold, hard and uncomfortable?

She is yeah "

You wouldn't want me any other way

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have laminate flooring."

Laying laminate is very much like making love to a sex doll...carefully unwrap it after you've taken it out of the box, lay it out on the floor, whack it in to the corners and remember to rub it down with a non-alcoholic solution to keep it moist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk all over her!?!? That’s love is it?

I wanted to joke, but I’m a little tender and will defend making love if you mean it.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I have laminate flooring.

Laying laminate is very much like making love to a sex doll...carefully unwrap it after you've taken it out of the box, lay it out on the floor, whack it in to the corners and remember to rub it down with a non-alcoholic solution to keep it moist."

Yeah, you'd need alcoholic solution to keep that one moist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have laminate flooring.

Laying laminate is very much like making love to a sex doll...carefully unwrap it after you've taken it out of the box, lay it out on the floor, whack it in to the corners and remember to rub it down with a non-alcoholic solution to keep it moist.

Yeah, you'd need alcoholic solution to keep that one moist. "

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Making love to a beautiful woman is like laying bricks.

Some know exactly what they are doing with a solid foundation and a true eye.

Some can't find the start button on the mixer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 80’s wants its attitude back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello Swiss Tony "

Wasn't just me who read that in his voice eh...

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"Hello Swiss Tony

Wasn't just me who read that in his voice eh..."

nope

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
over a year ago

London


"is very much like laying a carpet. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay."

Check the dimensions!!!... Above all, you are an inspired poet

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

Putting up a tent, is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'... slip in to the old bag.

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
over a year ago

London

Leaving here without looking back

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Some people get the reference and some clearly don’t

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I’m more like carpet tiles, cheap, quick to lay and easy to replace

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Making coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir... gently and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Making love to a beautiful woman is like laying bricks.

Some know exactly what they are doing with a solid foundation and a true eye.

Some can't find the start button on the mixer. "

Bricks oh really nice way to think of sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Making love wtf you guys fuck n go shampoo

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Check Swiss Tony out. You going to sell me a car while you’re at it.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people get the reference and some clearly don’t "

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By *mizhereMan
over a year ago

stafford friday afternoon

All women are beautiful x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All women are beautiful x"

You're clearly the discerning type, or you're reading these forums on a Braille screen.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"All women are beautiful x"

So are all men..

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands


"All women are beautiful x"

I'm calling bullshit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is very much like laying a carpet. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay."

Is this not a shag pile rating?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All women are beautiful x

I'm calling bullshit "

All Fab women are beautiful?

Does that lessen the obtuseness?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All women are beautiful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Making love wtf you guys fuck n go shampoo "

Excuse me............I will have you know I haven’t got dandruff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All women are beautiful "

Of course they are says the chap whose tag line is

“Looking for sex with single and married women and couples"

Covering most bases there mate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you’re in love with a beautiful woman it’s hard.........

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex


"Buying jewellery for a beautiful woman is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman. First you check the size of her ring to make sure it will fit. Then you end up giving her a pearl necklace"

We used the term "giving a woman a pearl necklace " a lot as young people. I wonder if today's youngsters would recognise what it meant

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

You know, I've often thought that going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod over, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.

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By *uicycock8Man
over a year ago

Norrh East & East midlands

And then roll up the carpet

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swiss Tony adventures

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By *enk15Man
over a year ago

Evesham

Making love to a beautiful woman is like playing the Violin.

I don't know how to do it well, but I'll give it a go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Making love to a beautiful woman is like laying bricks.

Some know exactly what they are doing with a solid foundation and a true eye.

Some can't find the start button on the mixer. "

What start button on mixer NOPE I old school do with a good shovel SPEAR & JACKSON NO 5 OR 3 that do job well LOLX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m more like carpet tiles, cheap, quick to lay and easy to replace

"

A really good varnish when laying carpet ties does the job just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Making love wtf you guys fuck n go shampoo "

Also good conditioner. Works wonders I find

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich


"Making love to a beautiful woman is like laying bricks.

Some know exactly what they are doing with a solid foundation and a true eye.

Some can't find the start button on the mixer. "

I am stealing this.

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