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Age gap relationships - a parents perspective

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How would you react if your 18/19 year old son or daughter rocked up with someone who was more than 20 years their senior ?

In terms of reaction, how would your reaction towards them differ from your reaction towards their prospective love interest ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as they were happy

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

at 17 my sister moved in with someone 28 years older. it took my mum two years to come round. but realized he treated her like a princess. they where together six years until sadly he died

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did have it, my middle daughter bought home a guy that must have been in his 40s, he told her he was 25 and she believed him, but there was no way he was 25 and i told him so, i told him he may be able to take her for a twat as she was young but i wasnt born yesterday and the fact he was lying to her about his age just proved to me he knew what he was doing was wrong other wise why not be honest about his age?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

it wouldnt bother me as long as they where happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if it was my son, i would think maybe he wants a more grown up woman.

if i thought she was inteligent or a nice person i wouldnt mind.

if she had kids then i wouldnt be happy about it.

i would think maybe he must have got very lonely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I did have it, my middle daughter bought home a guy that must have been in his 40s, he told her he was 25 and she believed him, but there was no way he was 25 and i told him so, i told him he may be able to take her for a twat as she was young but i wasnt born yesterday and the fact he was lying to her about his age just proved to me he knew what he was doing was wrong other wise why not be honest about his age? "

So was it the age gap that bothered you or purely the fact he had tried to dupe her ?

What would your reaction have been had he declared his real age from the outset ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

It would bother me. It would bother me a lot. Hopefully i'd grow to like them and see how things work and find peace with it.

At 18 it would bother me. At 28 it wouldn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Daughter brought home a guy 5 years older than her mum.

To say we were not pleased was a mild understatement.

They moved in together, but after 4 months, she came home in tears.

He turned out to be a convicted sex offender, that had just been released after 8 years inside.

He had already vanished off the face of the planet when I turned up to have a quiet word with him.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I didn't tell my parents when I was going out with someone 18 years my senior. With hindsight it probably would have been ok knowing what I know now.

My uncle married a woman 30 years younger than him, and younger than me, but once everyone is over 30 it's not quite the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told my parents about our age gap a month or so ago when i went home for the weekend and they took it very well! I think they've gathered by now that i like older men, but i wouldnt blame them if they were uncomfortable with it, although our age gap isnt massive, but i know and i think they know-I will never be with someone my own age-lads my age bore me to tears!

I can really see why a lot of parents wouldnt be happy with their child being in a relationship with an age gap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I did have it, my middle daughter bought home a guy that must have been in his 40s, he told her he was 25 and she believed him, but there was no way he was 25 and i told him so, i told him he may be able to take her for a twat as she was young but i wasnt born yesterday and the fact he was lying to her about his age just proved to me he knew what he was doing was wrong other wise why not be honest about his age?

So was it the age gap that bothered you or purely the fact he had tried to dupe her ?

What would your reaction have been had he declared his real age from the outset ?"

Yes it would have still bothered me, she was 16 and he was 40+ what the hell would a guy that age want with a 16 year old child, and yes tho its legal to have sex at 16 in law your not an adult till you 18 so 16 is a child

But i didnt go on about it as i knew the most i protesred the more she would dig her heels in, i knew if i kept out he would soon get bored and move on,

i was right, a few weeks later he was seeing another girl her age

Tho i was glad her was out of her life i took no pleasure in seeing her upset when she found out he was seeing other girls as well, i felt like ripping his bollocks off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given I don't agree with it, I would make it clear that I wasn't happy with the 'relationship' especially to the so called mature adult

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"It would bother me. It would bother me a lot. Hopefully i'd grow to like them and see how things work and find peace with it.

At 18 it would bother me. At 28 it wouldn't "

Pretty much this ^^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking at things from the other side I (sten)am 38 and Morrrigan soon to be 21 we have been together since she was 19 her parents are divorced, her Mum and Stepdad dont want anything to do with me but her Dad is totally the opposite.

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

My brother brought home a girl who was 19, he was 37..We were all horrified and didn't give it weeks...

They have been together 7 years and got married 18 months ago. Whatever they have it works...They meet somewhere in the middle maturity wise and given the fact my relationship has failed in the meantime, age obviously is of no consequence....They are for keeps...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was 29 when I met my now wife who was 18 been together 27 years now just proves age is just a No

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I don't think I would be happy but being childless, I don't really know.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

i just dont get the people that would be upset. maybe its because i knew how happy my sister was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i just dont get the people that would be upset. maybe its because i knew how happy my sister was"
think if my son or daughter at 16 brought home a partner who was 40+ I would be still kicking the buggers now

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"i just dont get the people that would be upset. maybe its because i knew how happy my sister was think if my son or daughter at 16 brought home a partner who was 40+ I would be still kicking the buggers now "

Wouldnt you look at the relationship and the individual though? It could be a twat playing on young wome, but it could also be someone who is lovely who genuiely wants to be with your/son daughter. Have to say i only know one relationship where the wife is 20+ years older than he man, most i know are the man being the older one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's good to hear comments on here, I have been talking to a lady for sometime I know she likes me, she has told me. I have asked if we can talk a lot first before we make things official if we do.

One of my concerns was that she is 4 year older than me. Which I no is nothing for people once they're older, but when I'm in my 20's I think it's a bit different. I have no problem been with older people for fun, but for relationship I think it's different.

The other thing for me is that it seems that the lady is the older one in the relationship :/

Last but not least is thinking ahead, if we were to be successful and she is likely to want kids in her early 30's but I wouldn't want them until I'm in my early 30's :/

The main concern though is social her been older, and her been 4 year older. I don't know if this situation is normal though?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Frst of all it all depends on how ol my own son/ daughter was at the time and how capable of making mature decisions, a 16 year old coming home with a 30 year old is somewhat different to a 26 year old with a 40 year old.

I would be a bit concerned if the age gap was more than 10 years; the problems may not be there now but they might be in the future and consequently I d seek a conversation with my son/ daughter just to find out what it is that attracts them. By doing so, by reflecting back to what are telling me I would imagine that they would do a bit of thinking themselves.

If after a while they are still insistent.. well then good luck to them - there are worse things in life and it is their decision at the end of the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's good to hear comments on here, I have been talking to a lady for sometime I know she likes me, she has told me. I have asked if we can talk a lot first before we make things official if we do.

One of my concerns was that she is 4 year older than me. Which I no is nothing for people once they're older, but when I'm in my 20's I think it's a bit different. I have no problem been with older people for fun, but for relationship I think it's different.

The other thing for me is that it seems that the lady is the older one in the relationship :/

Last but not least is thinking ahead, if we were to be successful and she is likely to want kids in her early 30's but I wouldn't want them until I'm in my early 30's :/

The main concern though is social her been older, and her been 4 year older. I don't know if this situation is normal though? "

I don't see 4 yrs older as a problem nor wrong but if she was 14 or 24 yrs older, then I would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our daughter was 17, he was 43.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"It's good to hear comments on here, I have been talking to a lady for sometime I know she likes me, she has told me. I have asked if we can talk a lot first before we make things official if we do.

One of my concerns was that she is 4 year older than me. Which I no is nothing for people once they're older, but when I'm in my 20's I think it's a bit different. I have no problem been with older people for fun, but for relationship I think it's different.

The other thing for me is that it seems that the lady is the older one in the relationship :/

Last but not least is thinking ahead, if we were to be successful and she is likely to want kids in her early 30's but I wouldn't want them until I'm in my early 30's :/

The main concern though is social her been older, and her been 4 year older. I don't know if this situation is normal though? "

To be honest id doubt anyone would notice four years difference and i think your putting obsticles there that are not there. Might be best to actually meet her first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's good to hear comments on here, I have been talking to a lady for sometime I know she likes me, she has told me. I have asked if we can talk a lot first before we make things official if we do.

One of my concerns was that she is 4 year older than me. Which I no is nothing for people once they're older, but when I'm in my 20's I think it's a bit different. I have no problem been with older people for fun, but for relationship I think it's different.

The other thing for me is that it seems that the lady is the older one in the relationship :/

Last but not least is thinking ahead, if we were to be successful and she is likely to want kids in her early 30's but I wouldn't want them until I'm in my early 30's :/

The main concern though is social her been older, and her been 4 year older. I don't know if this situation is normal though? "

4 years isnt an age gap really, My wife is 4 years younger than me.

We are still married after 33 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's good to hear comments on here, I have been talking to a lady for sometime I know she likes me, she has told me. I have asked if we can talk a lot first before we make things official if we do.

One of my concerns was that she is 4 year older than me. Which I no is nothing for people once they're older, but when I'm in my 20's I think it's a bit different. I have no problem been with older people for fun, but for relationship I think it's different.

The other thing for me is that it seems that the lady is the older one in the relationship :/

Last but not least is thinking ahead, if we were to be successful and she is likely to want kids in her early 30's but I wouldn't want them until I'm in my early 30's :/

The main concern though is social her been older, and her been 4 year older. I don't know if this situation is normal though? "

I really think you're making a mountain out of a molehill-maybe for reasons you dont want to admit? Hope you make a decision soon rather than drawing things out. Four years is nothing when youre in your 20s/early 30s.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

4 years isnt an age gap really, My wife is 4 years younger than me.

We are still married after 33 years."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's good to hear comments on here, I have been talking to a lady for sometime I know she likes me, she has told me. I have asked if we can talk a lot first before we make things official if we do.

One of my concerns was that she is 4 year older than me. Which I no is nothing for people once they're older, but when I'm in my 20's I think it's a bit different. I have no problem been with older people for fun, but for relationship I think it's different.

The other thing for me is that it seems that the lady is the older one in the relationship :/

Last but not least is thinking ahead, if we were to be successful and she is likely to want kids in her early 30's but I wouldn't want them until I'm in my early 30's :/

The main concern though is social her been older, and her been 4 year older. I don't know if this situation is normal though?

I really think you're making a mountain out of a molehill-maybe for reasons you dont want to admit? Hope you make a decision soon rather than drawing things out. Four years is nothing when youre in your 20s/early 30s."

Thanks, no it's a problem I have where my brain won't turn off and over analyse's everything. I'm far better than was though, an it does cost me a lot of chances too.

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