FabSwingers.com forum: When you’re feeling low

By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

Hey all, not often I mention anything in the threads. As you can all tell from my profile I’m a bit of an oddball. I’m reaching out to all you girls, gurls and guys right now…

I’m usually a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Generally put on a front of happiness and strength out in public. But secretly, when everything around you is crumbling and life just seems to be feeding you problem after problem, and you get to that point where you’re feeling so low and down constantly that every day when you wake up you wish it were your last, how do you all cope? When the dark thoughts hit?

I’m at my wits end with this life. And I need a bit of positivity. So please, everyone, chime in with something to make me smile. A silly joke, some surreal thought, some down to earth proper advice on how the hell to get through this sh*tty spot I’m in, just anything. I desperately need to smile right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

Simple advice. It works for me. Embrace the suck in everything that makes you down and out. That approach will save your sanity. Fuck everyone else it's you that needs mending.

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By *ohntall123Man
42 weeks ago

hitchin

"Hey all, not often I mention anything in the threads. As you can all tell from my profile I’m a bit of an oddball. I’m reaching out to all you girls, gurls and guys right now…

It’s never easy at all but things change don’t they from one day to the next . You got to do things to make you feel a bit better ( easier said than done ) I know . Keep going and good luck

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By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

"Simple advice. It works for me. Embrace the suck in everything that makes you down and out. That approach will save your sanity. Fuck everyone else it's you that needs mending."

Yeah I get that. I’m just full of suck at the moment. (Not that like lol)

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By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

"It’s never easy at all but things change don’t they from one day to the next . You got to do things to make you feel a bit better ( easier said than done ) I know . Keep going and good luck "

Thankyou

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

Hugs just remember your awesome and wonderful special and beautiful in your own way

The forums can be a grate escape form realty

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By *im1234Man
42 weeks ago

herts

Yesterday’s in the past. Nothing can change it.

When you first open your eyes in the morning, only you can decide the outcome, good or bad

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

I get told to dispose of myself with polypropylene rope from screwfix everyday because i don't have sex with women so i can't be much help unfortunately. Very specific as well. All i can say is hang in there.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
42 weeks ago

Markfield

Start practicing yoga. I swear you have to concentrate so freaking hard on not falling over that there is no space in your mind for those intrusive thoughts to creep in. It helps with breathing which in turn helps with anxiety and it opens up your hips too which helps release past trauma plus core stability is always a good thing. And every loves it when you say you do yoga. They all want to know if you’re really bendy and if you do downward dog and if you can do sun salutations.

Namaste x

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By *rRiosMan
42 weeks ago

dublin

"Hey all, not often I mention anything in the threads. As you can all tell from my profile I’m a bit of an oddball. I’m reaching out to all you girls, gurls and guys right now…

Sorry to hear OP. I feel the best thing you can do is find someone you are comfortable talking with and do exactly that. Sometimes in just talking out some issues you can gain some perspective.

Taking a break from here can also help if that is part of the issue but only you can decide if that is helpful.

Take it one day at a time and don’t be afraid to reach out either on fab or a friend or anyone really. Talking about can really help. DMs always open if you are just looking to vent to a stranger.

Best of luck

As for making you smile, I’m not sure if this is will help but a couple sent me a wink recently. I messaged them to thank them and their next message “thinking of renting a house for fabbing. Can you help with the rent?”

I thought this was odd/funny so I copied the message to get another persons opinion. But sure didn’t I only paste the message back to the couple

Oops

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By *ames-77Man
42 weeks ago

milton keynes

Whats making you feel this way ?one thing I got taught by my kick boxing coach is people expect to be happy and chase happiness.. no one said we was built to be happy .. we live life on life's terms you take the good with the bad .. bad times are always going to come like loosing a loved one .. but If today isn't that day why be sad .. sit yourself infront of a terminally Ill cancer patient fighting for life.. and appreciate the gift of life you have

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By *ndreSlaggasiMan
42 weeks ago

Wakefield

The lost boy and the horse.

Boy - I can't see out of the woods

Horse- Can you see your next step...?

Boy - yes

Horse - well just take that, and then the next step, eventually you'll make your way out ??

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By *ames-77Man
42 weeks ago

milton keynes

"The lost boy and the horse.

Boy - I can't see out of the woods

Horse- Can you see your next step...?

Boy - yes

Horse - well just take that, and then the next step, eventually you'll make your way out ??

I've used this analogy a lot in my life .. have to respect the journey .. any progression is a victory

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

There's no magic cure when you sink into a hole, it's just about making little changes to make the day easier. We all need to change our mindset to acknowledge and accept the bad days rather than push them away, we need to feel the bad to appreciate the good. And when I say bad day, sometimes we have a bad half hour or hour but our brain projects that onto the whole day and creates a negative mindset which sets our mood for that day.

In terms of daily help, you need to change your focus. Doing something creative, writing something down and doing something active everyday helps shift your mindset balance. You will still have bad thoughts but when they come in, acknowledge it then redirect the focus to one of these things. Mindfulness is good, whether that be a puzzle book, colouring, doing a jigsaw or just meditating for 5 minutes everyday. Our brains are all different so you need to figure out the best source that makes you feel calm.

Finally keep talking to people. Reach out to people close to you and let them help. Being alone in dark thoughts is a scary and dangerous place to be. Also, go to the GP and get professional help, whether that be through talking therapy or medication.

It's a tough process getting through it but there are better days if you acknowledge it, work on it and ultimately change it. Hope that helps a little OP, you got this

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By *midnight-Woman
42 weeks ago

...

Start with the most basic of things

* try to get outside and walk in a park, or by water (a pond, river, canal)

*write down 5 positive things that you are grateful for - do this daily. They can be small....ie, The bird song at lunchtime, a text message that made you smile

*music is a great mood and emotion lifter - have a silent disco in your lounge - go crazy... or small.. Whatever you need

*do some breathing... Lie somewhere comfortable and breath in deeply for a count of 5..imagine the breath entering you, feel it through your body, to your fingers +toes. Repeat a few times 8n the day. Do it daily

Most importantly, identify what fills your soul and do aa much if this as is possible until you start to feel brighter

It sucks when you crash, sending love xxxx

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By *midnight-Woman
42 weeks ago

...

"The lost boy and the horse.

Boy - I can't see out of the woods

Horse- Can you see your next step...?

Boy - yes

Horse - well just take that, and then the next step, eventually you'll make your way out ??

Yes - one step, task at a time - don't get overwhelmed looking for the answer

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

Real message this. I’m always up for a real normal chat if anyone needs it. It helps to talk

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"The lost boy and the horse.

Boy - I can't see out of the woods

Horse- Can you see your next step...?

Boy - yes

Horse - well just take that, and then the next step, eventually you'll make your way out ??

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
42 weeks ago

Sheffield

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that OP. I do think this time of year always seems tougher with the weather been rubbish and the run up to Christmas.

I just try to remember these feelings do pass, we all have bad days, and that’s ok. Try to do one thing each day that makes you happy

and also talk…don’t bottle up these things. X

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By *WDomMan
42 weeks ago

Taunton

Try to avoid trite advice.

I had to split with my last girlfriend after she injured her foot in a car accident. Turns out I’m lack-toes intolerant.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

We all have a tendency to tend and nurture our unhappiness, and neglect what is beautiful and restorative because we think that’s always good I dont need to. We ignore the s growing around our feet while we hesitate to cut the dead flowers. Rather than tend and nurture your feelings of unhappiness find that one blooming flower that one neglected tree and turn your attention to it. Devote your energy to the good thing still standing and thriving (you).

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By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

"Start practicing yoga. I swear you have to concentrate so freaking hard on not falling over that there is no space in your mind for those intrusive thoughts to creep in. It helps with breathing which in turn helps with anxiety and it opens up your hips too which helps release past trauma plus core stability is always a good thing. And every loves it when you say you do yoga. They all want to know if you’re really bendy and if you do downward dog and if you can do sun salutations.

Namaste x "

Thankyou I will look into it & im not mega bendy (yet) but that might work for multiple things x

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By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

Thankyou everyone for your messages, I’ve been reading through them all and they are all going in. And I get the whole “can’t rise like a phoenix without getting burnt” bit. Hopefully the tide will turn soon. Thankyou all for helping me through last night xx

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By *hromosexualsCouple
42 weeks ago

Near Abercynon

Some good advice already OP, I've been lucky with my mental health so I probably can't offer much in the way of practical advice, but I do wish you all the best.

Exercise really does seem to make a big difference to a lot of people... that's where I'd start I reckon (and the Yoga idea sounds great too actually)

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By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

"The lost boy and the horse.

Boy - I can't see out of the woods

Horse- Can you see your next step...?

Boy - yes

Horse - well just take that, and then the next step, eventually you'll make your way out ??

Thankyou/ this has been helpful x

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By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

"There's no magic cure when you sink into a hole, it's just about making little changes to make the day easier. We all need to change our mindset to acknowledge and accept the bad days rather than push them away, we need to feel the bad to appreciate the good. And when I say bad day, sometimes we have a bad half hour or hour but our brain projects that onto the whole day and creates a negative mindset which sets our mood for that day.

It's a tough process getting through it but there are better days if you acknowledge it, work on it and ultimately change it. Hope that helps a little OP, you got this

Thankyou so much for your insight. It’s hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes isn’t it. Taking note. I’ve always been anti-meds so that’s a hard one to deal with but I’ll definitely try the mindfulness & redirection techniques.

Blown away by all the messages of support and praying it helps others too. It’s always difficult when this time of year approaches. I’ve got my puddycat she helps keep sane too.

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By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

"Start with the most basic of things

* try to get outside and walk in a park, or by water (a pond, river, canal)

*write down 5 positive things that you are grateful for - do this daily. They can be small....ie, The bird song at lunchtime, a text message that made you smile

*music is a great mood and emotion lifter - have a silent disco in your lounge - go crazy... or small.. Whatever you need

Most importantly, identify what fills your soul and do aa much if this as is possible until you start to feel brighter

It sucks when you crash, sending love xxxx"

Love this and will give these a go too. It’s nice to not feel so alone xx

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By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

"Sorry to hear you are feeling like that OP. I do think this time of year always seems tougher with the weather been rubbish and the run up to Christmas.

I just try to remember these feelings do pass, we all have bad days, and that’s ok. Try to do one thing each day that makes you happy

and also talk…don’t bottle up these things. X"

Yeah exactly that tbh- Christmas has been a difficult one for a few years now and I guess it brings ghosts out of the closet for me. Thankyou for your kind words and thoughts & I’ll try not to bottle things up. It’s hard talking about stuff sometimes mainly because I know my problems are insignificant in comparison on the wider spectrum of things.

Thankyou xx

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By *otsossieMan
42 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Things that work for me are gentle exercise, music (listening or playing), time with friends is a big one, taking a break from my usual routine and surroundings. Making things. Making sure I’m hydrated and eating properly.

Mindfulness / headspace. Yes, medication. The last two are not quick fixes but help over time.

Pets! Even a friend’s dog.

I also tend not to listen to the news if I’m feeling off it. Avoiding social meeds and other sources of negativity.

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By *otsossieMan
42 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Yeah exactly that tbh- Christmas has been a difficult one for a few years now …

… I know my problems are insignificant in comparison on the wider spectrum of things"

Christmas is difficult for a lot of people. Dark nights. Missing those who aren’t with us. The world going frantic.

It will pass, and you’ll have a new year. The days will get longer and the weather will improve.

Your problems are significant to you. Maybe do some work on what you can do about them and when. If you can’t do anything about them, maybe choose a date/time in the future when you’ll think about them. But not right now. You’ve got other things to do. There’s lots of coping techniques. You can self-refer for talking therapy if you think it might be useful.

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By *dventuresWithEveWoman
42 weeks ago

SW Birmingham outskirts

I know you've had a lot of messages similar, but I didn't want o read and run...

...first of all, well done! You've already taken a huge step of this walk out of the forest by reaching out, it's the hardest step and you've done it, amazing!

I've read the thread and there are really great suggestions,any similar to what I was going to say, so I won't repeat all of them and just add my own. Having suffered with depression for 18 years, I've had to find coping strategies and use techniques to help with the black dog, especially moments when he seems so much larger than myself. So here goes:

- remember your first step, whenever you feel low and black thoughts are in your head, you've reached out before, you can do so again.

- every day is a new start. Whatever strategies you're using, if you're having a bad day and can't apply them, it doesn't matter, you get a do-over the next day.

- check out the Blurt Foundation, on web and Insta. I've found the daily motivational messages have been a huge inspiration.

- check out whether your NHS trust has a healthy minds self-referral (e.g. Worcestershire healthy minds etc...), do the referral! You can do this without going to your GP, without ha ING to be on meds. There are various platforms and help types, from k line self help to group talks to one to one counselling.

- if you're not a fan of meds, it's harder but totally manageable. The exercise suggestions were great, do that. And if you're looking for natural alternatives, have a loon at St John's Wort supplements. Also. Remember to take Vitamin D, especially in winter.

- Keep in mind it's a road of baby steps, practise self love and self care, acknowledge each any step and don't try to run ahead. Before you know it, you look behind and can see how far you've come.

- I don't know whether your thoughts are anything to do with your orientation and society, but see if you have a local/regional LGBT centre, Birmingham for example have one. They provide so much support and guidance, it's a really useful resource.

- And finally, when you are in the moments of the blackest thoughts, call the Samaritans, or use the text service. Or any other similar organisation with a crisis line. You can even ring your local A&E or 111 and ask for the crisis intervention team.

I know this last one sounds extreme, but an important part of this journey is to face everything head on and to know your resources.

Again, you've done a huge thing in reaching out, you're amazing! Wishing you all the best!

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By *atinboots OP TV/TS
42 weeks ago

Market Rasen

Thankyou Evvie & Sossie, all your sentiments are really appreciated…

I guess I got very overwhelmed the other night. It’s still there inside but I’m keeping control of it for now. Think I need some time away from things, a proper break from the routine xx

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"Hey all, not often I mention anything in the threads. As you can all tell from my profile I’m a bit of an oddball. I’m reaching out to all you girls, gurls and guys right now…

Hi first point well your brave very you spoke from the heart and its gone to my head .

Take wee break go out comfort zone sport hiking , Please remember your AWESOME , it will better, I be in HOSPICEs 2 hours Christmas day it works me ,.So sign off wish you all the best in life love Norman Belfast .

Ps some of the replys are lovely

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