FabSwingers.com forum: O Custard! My Custard!

By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazon OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

We men, we happy few, are custodians of love's sweet custard.

We carefully curate it - sometimes for 7 years, 2 months, 8 days, 6 hours and 14 minutes - keeping it fresh and primed for female joy.

So why, after all that time, and as much as a further 14 seconds of begging, pleading, and sweating too, do women not care for our gift as we have cared for it, leaking it out as they order their taxi to as far away as possible?

Could we have given them any more of ourselves? I very much doubt it!

Is this leakage wilful and cold-hearted? Some form of envious custard-complex? Is it symptomatic of the failure of femininiminimism, enacted now across axes of commodified neoliberal performatives rather than its original promise of mutual, universal liberation?

Or is it simply a design flaw, unaccounting of how gravity and downward facing holes are in conflict with each other?

Makes a mess of the carpet too.

I paid good money for that carpet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that’s ruined ambrosia for me

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazon OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"Well that’s ruined ambrosia for me

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

...wow, another of my copy/paste intros in the public domain

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazon OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"...wow, another of my copy/paste intros in the public domain

????

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"...wow, another of my copy/paste intros in the public domain

????"

I see what's happened. Mr Dusk has observed that you have a mighty fine dong on you. He has sent you one of his best opening messages that he has only copy and pasted to 300 other fabbers. So it's practically a limited edition. You have thought it's too good to be locked away in your message vault and shared it here. I think that's what he was getting at anyway.

In answer to your question OP, for me a pee as soon as poss afterwards helps stop cystitis. I hate cystitis. And really you should be shooting that custard into a condom to save forever!

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazon OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"...wow, another of my copy/paste intros in the public domain

????

In answer to your question OP, for me a pee as soon as poss afterwards helps stop cystitis. I hate cystitis. And really you should be shooting that custard into a condom to save forever!

Aaahhhh...understood for the first bit. I think...

Re- cystitis and condoms - well...I just wasn't expecting any sensible comments tbh.

You flummoxed me!

So condoms it is.

But I might just occasionally wank over the carpet too.

It gets lonely without indignation.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

I'm confused....I don't know what's going on, all I know is I'll never eat custard again!!

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

You've ruined Custard

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love custard. Deeeeeeeeelicious

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"Mr Dusk has observed that you have a mighty fine dong on you."

My whole life, succinctly packaged in a sentence, fuckyea brevity, thanks J

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazon OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"I'm confused....I don't know what's going on, all I know is I'll never eat custard again!!

Apparently, I've been receiving cyber-custard (didn't know that), because of my impressive dong (equally news to me), and that dong is like the All-Spark in the Transformers movies, except it's "All Cystitis" via its love-custard, which isn't a nice thing for it to do let's be honest. Bad dong!

So now my custard is imprisoned in condoms, apart from occasional carpet reunions.

But everyone can now go and enjoy Ambrosia again.

In safety.

Probably.

Sometimes.

I think x

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

I didn't understand this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didn't understand this thread."

Probably better that way my good fellow.

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazon OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

"I didn't understand this thread."

I don't understand many threads, lots of words and acronyms and somevof the speak goes over my head. Simple minds are the best. They also did some great songs

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

Oh, come on!!!

After 50 years, I have only just gotten around to discovering the joys of Dream Topping!

Don't spoil it....

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"I didn't understand this thread."

It's about penis; I'll send you a pamphlet.

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazon OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

[Removed by poster at 04/12/23 09:35:56]

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazon OP Man
over a year ago

St Leonards

"I didn't understand this thread.

It's about penis; I'll send you a pamphlet.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Love custard. Deeeeeeeeelicious"

The question is..hot or cold , how do you eat yours ??

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