FabSwingers.com forum: Controversial

By *hirley OP Man
50 weeks ago

somewhere

Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.

Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

This is why it's easier not to have friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

No, and I tell them if it's the morality thing. Let them choose if it's worth doing something about

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By *obilebottomMan
50 weeks ago

All over

True friendships are built around so much more than just these considerations imo.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

You can’t judge someone by your own standards or morals. They are personal to you.

For me it’s too broad a question.

Differences are good and can help educate. Extreme differences and I don’t think we’d be friends especially if they are not willing to at least acknowledge my point of view

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
50 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Having friends is far too peopley for me. I like the kind of friend that doesn't get umpty when I say 'I'll call you, don't call me'

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

I guess there are broad moral parameters I would expect. I couldn’t be friends with a holocaust denier for example.

But usually when people talk about morality they actually mean integrity.

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By *ou only live onceMan
50 weeks ago

London

Big questions for early on a Saturday morning. Morals and intelligence aren't necessarily connected.

I would say my good friends and I all share similar values. We're probably all of a similar level of intelligence by the obvious measures too, but I would say "intelligence" is less of a factor in forming a friendship than other qualities you might be drawn to in a person.

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By *undayGirl 69Woman
50 weeks ago

Coalville

I think all my friends are dicks. I wouldn’t even like to hazard a guess what they think of me.

But they’re you’re friends for a reason. So u love them despite all the day to day shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

My life is so much less complicated without friends. It sometimes lonely, but the positives outweigh that.

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
50 weeks ago

Belfast

Emmm, the friends I've made from childhood who may lack certain morals(if that's even the right way for me to put it) will always be friends. Anyone since then that I've made friends I've been drawn to for their humour and conversation skills or if we have similar interests. If those those friends turned out to be kinda crazy in whatever way, then I would see them less. If we still get on then I wouldn't cut them out entirely.

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By *inky ChefMan
50 weeks ago

Norwich

"This is why it's easier not to have friends. "

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By *ou only live onceMan
50 weeks ago

London

[Removed by poster at 02/12/23 08:32:53]

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
50 weeks ago

Somewhere else

What’s a friend?

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Googles - friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.

Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"

Depends what you mean by friends.

If it's friends in the general sense then I don't judge.

But friends I sleep with that then show me a lack of morals is different.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Have a few close friends and have similar morals and sense of humour to me. Find that this is more important than anything else. All have slightly different out look on life etc due to experience.

Morals and sense 9f honour is more important than anything else!

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By *eroLondonMan
50 weeks ago

Mayfair

I have friends who are comprised of qualities and traits based upon shared interests and mutual empathy. Some are more savvy and worldly-wise than me, some less so and the majority are on-par. It's not something I've really thought about when forging and maintaining friendships.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
50 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Really surprised by the replies and those that seemingly have no friends or choose not to/prefer not to.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
50 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

But friends I sleep with that then show me a lack of morals is different."

You sleep with friends? Or do you become friends?

I couldn't imagine that and know it wouldn't pan out well.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
50 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

My friends range from thick as mince to very intelligent and growing up where I grew up some of the have very questionable morals. I take people at face value. If someone is nice to me then I can be friends with them.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
50 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

All of my friends are great, even the ones who disagree with me on some things.

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By *ilverjagMan
50 weeks ago

swansea

"What’s a friend?

To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!

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By *ellinever70Woman
50 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"Really surprised by the replies and those that seemingly have no friends or choose not to/prefer not to."

Yes, I don’t understand people wanting to demonstrate how anti social they are

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
50 weeks ago

East Sussex

I haven't given this much consideration until this post popped up. Mostly my friends are the people who can put up with me and my odd ways.

They seem to like me and I like them. They're different to me in a lot of ways you mention but with one exception we accept that and it's among the reasons we like each other. There is the one who tries to bend me to her way of thinking all the time but I don't take any notice and she knows it

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
50 weeks ago

Cheshire

[Removed by poster at 02/12/23 09:06:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Ummm some of my friends share values, some don't - but there are features that we are drawn to, others that we choose to ignore or distance ourselves from

My biggest challenge is the majority of my family /friends eat animals

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By *ackformore100Man
50 weeks ago

Tin town

"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.

Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"

I've come to realise way too late that people are not perfect and develop in different ways. For me tolerance and even encouragement of differences at times is a happier place.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
50 weeks ago

North West

"What’s a friend?

To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!"

A friend in need is a pain in the arse? How lovely

Sadly lots of people only seem to stick around for the good times. It's why my friendship circle is more of a pin head than a hula-hoop these days. It's surprising how many "friends" can't cope with their "friend" acquiring a disability.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
50 weeks ago

Somewhere else

But friends I sleep with that then show me a lack of morals is different.

You sleep with friends? Or do you become friends?

I couldn't imagine that and know it wouldn't pan out well."

Same. I only sleep with the enemy.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
50 weeks ago

Somewhere else

"What’s a friend?

To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!"

Oh, I’d LOVE to be your friend.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
50 weeks ago

East Sussex

"What’s a friend?

To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!

A friend in need is a pain in the arse? How lovely

This is very true. Although I'd rather that than the ones who pay lip service by saying things like "anything you need just ask" but don't actually mean it.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
50 weeks ago

Somewhere else

"What’s a friend?

To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!

A friend in need is a pain in the arse? How lovely

That’s awful. I’m sorry that’s happened to you x

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
50 weeks ago

Somewhere else

"What’s a friend?

To me a friend is someone who does what Heineken does, "Gets to the parts that others cannot reach," And a friend in need is a pain in the arse!

A friend in need is a pain in the arse? How lovely

This is very true. Although I'd rather that than the ones who pay lip service by saying things like "anything you need just ask" but don't actually mean it. "

Can’t thumb this up enough times.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
50 weeks ago

East Sussex

I once knew a woman who told me her friends had different uses

and there were specific reasons she kept them around. Apparently I was the only one her sister could bear to be around for more than five minutes.

We're not friends any more

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain…

Acquaintances I have many. If I’m honest, I tend to keep people at a distance. Past loss of friends, as in dead, is not an experience I wish to repeat.

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By *hirley OP Man
50 weeks ago

somewhere

Just to add to my initial question, I don't think there's necessarily a right or wrong in this. It's entirely specific to the individuals own mind and in turn, your honesty in admission of how you operate your business.

For me I usually keep a small circle of friends, as I'm particular about things, some things very much so, which will no doubt rub people up the wrong way as much as it does me, with them not "complying" for want of a better word, with the way I see it. But it's probably more the case I'm physically and emotionally incapable of having more than as many that I can count on one hand as my definition of a friend

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Friends? Who has time for that madness?

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

I think it depends on how much their good tendacies outweigh the bad. A lack of intelligence isn't necessarily a bad thing but if their morals are downright awful or non-existent then I can't see a way that having them as a friend would be if any pleasure to me

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By *hirley OP Man
50 weeks ago

somewhere

"I guess there are broad moral parameters I would expect. I couldn’t be friends with a holocaust denier for example.

But usually when people talk about morality they actually mean integrity. "

This is true

But to ascertain that can take another characteristic that varies too, in patience.

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By *he MuffinmanMan
50 weeks ago

West Gloucestershire

"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.

Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"

Good discussion point ….. All my close friends have similar morals, ethics and outlook on life as my self.

People I meet that don’t have these then don’t become my close friends or even acquaintances

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By *hirley OP Man
50 weeks ago

somewhere

"Big questions for early on a Saturday morning. Morals and intelligence aren't necessarily connected.

My opinion, but intelligence is very intertwined with the way you react socially to me.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
50 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

I prefer my friends to have less intelligence than me and a lower moral standard, it’s the only way to make me appear a bit of a legend

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
50 weeks ago

Central

I'd rather not be stuck in an echo chamber.

There are certain things that I find abhorrent and I'd not be comfortable spending time with people who expressed attitudes that are distasteful/hateful to others. It's not about moral superiority, as there are things about me that others would view as repugnantly sick. We are all equals but our choices can leave us to become uncomfortable for others to be with.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
50 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

I guess from my own point of view I have many mates, spread pretty much globally. Of I'm away, I know I can pick up the phone and message them (fuck talking to people) and there will be a bed, a beer and a great catch up. Sometimes over 20 plus years.

I reckon I have half a dozen friends. The nearest to me about 200 miles and one of them I haven't seen in 10 years. But we have been though thick and thin and will always have each others' backs if one of us is going through a hard time.

I guess with Whats App groups and SM you really are never too far away from anyone now. I don't think I will ever add to the friend circle as this has been built up over many years but there are always spaces for mates. The difference being that I won't rip the piss out of mates. That is only reserved for friends.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
50 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I'd rather not be stuck in an echo chamber.

I very much agree with your first sentence.

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By *arl17Man
50 weeks ago

Central Portugal

"This is why it's easier not to have friends. "

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By *icolerobbieCouple
50 weeks ago

walsall

It’s been said that you are the sum of the Nearest 5 people around you.

If you associate with 5 assholes………

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By *2000ManMan
50 weeks ago

Worthing

As long as they are good people, intelligence does not come into it.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

A friend is a friend. Intelligence has nothing to do with it. And I doubt they’d be a friend in the first place if you didn’t agree or accept with their morals.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
50 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"It’s been said that you are the sum of the Nearest 5 people around you.

If you associate with 5 assholes………"

Flipped then if your 5 are fantastic friends?

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By *abioMan
50 weeks ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Intelligence does not matter to me, some people just happen to be more street smart than academically, for example, the person who can tell when something is about to kick off and can defuse it or get people out of the way isn’t something they teach! …

.a different Morals set would be way more incompatible thing for me .. can’t be mates with you if I don’t really respect you

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By *icolerobbieCouple
50 weeks ago

walsall

"It’s been said that you are the sum of the Nearest 5 people around you.

If you associate with 5 assholes………

Flipped then if your 5 are fantastic friends?"

Yep

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By *ackformore100Man
50 weeks ago

Tin town

"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.

Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"

"Intelligence" comes in many forms. Maybe look at it the other way too. Hold the mirror up. Are my values and intelligence acceptable to others or influence my ability to make and retain friends. Relationships are not just one way streets.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
50 weeks ago

walsall

"Intelligence does not matter to me, some people just happen to be more street smart than academically, for example, the person who can tell when something is about to kick off and can defuse it or get people out of the way isn’t something they teach! …

.a different Morals set would be way more incompatible thing for me .. can’t be mates with you if I don’t really respect you "

Also could you be friends with someone who saw your partner as fair game if the opportunity were to arise?

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By *abioMan
50 weeks ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"It’s been said that you are the sum of the Nearest 5 people around you.

If you associate with 5 assholes………"

It’s like the old question… if you are in a group and ask “who’s the asshole?” And no one answers…. The likelihood is that it’s you!!

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By *icolerobbieCouple
50 weeks ago

walsall

"It’s been said that you are the sum of the Nearest 5 people around you.

If you associate with 5 assholes………

It’s like the old question… if you are in a group and ask “who’s the asshole?” And no one answers…. The likelihood is that it’s you!!

This is also true, and a question I’d dare’nt ask myself!

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By *hirley OP Man
50 weeks ago

somewhere

.a different Morals set would be way more incompatible thing for me .. can’t be mates with you if I don’t really respect you "

This is very important point to add, intelligence is also a subjective description of someone

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
50 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"Do you keep friends around you who you feel are not as intelligent as you or lacking certain key morals for example? Key morals being fairly subjective to you as an individual really.

Or are you more likely to distance yourself from any such people you get those thoughts and feelings about? Maybe you don't naturally consider that about someone at all without external influences?"

My friends are very different people. I wont pretend I don't prefer the company of those on a similar level and wavelength for more intimate relationships, but I have friends who are

Tories or less capable of the kind of reasoning and analysis I like to do on everything.

If you only surround yourself with people who completely agree with you and your own morality it's an unhealthy little echo chamber. I like to do my best to see and understand alternative points of view, and I like to be able to have friends I can have those conversations with, rather than go argue on the Internet or just hunker down in my little I'm right bunker because the people around me only reinforce my existing beliefs

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By *abioMan
50 weeks ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

.a different Morals set would be way more incompatible thing for me .. can’t be mates with you if I don’t really respect you

This is very important point to add, intelligence is also a subjective description of someone

Absolutely… intelligence is subjective, morality is way more problematic

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By *issmorganWoman
50 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

My closest friends have a similar mind set to me, especially my best friend who I've known 37 years.

We share the same sort of morals and shes more intelligent than me though.

I don't think I could be friends with someone whose views and outlook were massively different to mine tbh.

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