FabSwingers.com forum: Mental health

By (user no longer on site) OP
50 weeks ago

I have to admit I'm struggling this week.

I lost my father early Tuesday morning. I was working away and got a call at 8.30 at night. I was by his bed side by midnioand was there until he passed around 6am.

I don't know if I'm coming or going at the moment. I know it will get better and easier.

For anyone else struggling this week I hope it get better for you too

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 30/11/23 21:27:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Sorry to hear that chap.

It's tough time of year for everyone who's lost someone whenever, but right now I can imagine.

Stop and talk to someone, anyone, if you're feeling really low. It'll help

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By *illy IdolMan
50 weeks ago

Midlands

"I have to admit I'm struggling this week.

I lost my father early Tuesday morning. I was working away and got a call at 8.30 at night. I was by his bed side by midnioand was there until he passed around 6am.

I don't know if I'm coming or going at the moment. I know it will get better and easier.

For anyone else struggling this week I hope it get better for you too "

Sorry to hear this Wonko. Hang in there brother

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

If it helps to assuage your very raw grief. Take comfort in that your father is at peace now, he is no longer in pain, nor is he suffering. His spirit lives within you and it always will

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Bloody hell mate- I don’t even know where to start, I hope you get the time to deal with it any way you need to. Hopefully you have a few close people to make sure you are ok, I and I’m sure others will send our condolences to you!

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
50 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

Sorry dude that's shite ... Hope you're OK in time mate

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
50 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Oh Wonko

I'm so sorry. Sending you massive hugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

"I have to admit I'm struggling this week.

I lost my father early Tuesday morning. I was working away and got a call at 8.30 at night. I was by his bed side by midnioand was there until he passed around 6am.

I don't know if I'm coming or going at the moment. I know it will get better and easier.

For anyone else struggling this week I hope it get better for you too "

Sorry for your loss.

I lost mine a few months ago and today helped send one of my closest friends on his final journey.

It will take time, just be gentle on yourself and give yourself the time you need.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

"I have to admit I'm struggling this week.

I lost my father early Tuesday morning. I was working away and got a call at 8.30 at night. I was by his bed side by midnioand was there until he passed around 6am.

I don't know if I'm coming or going at the moment. I know it will get better and easier.

For anyone else struggling this week I hope it get better for you too "

You know you have people here wonko

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

I lost my mother on a 12th December. Christmas just doesn't work for me either anymore.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
50 weeks ago

East Sussex

Sorry to hear that. The next few weeks will be a bit of a whirlwind, be sure to care for yourself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
50 weeks ago

Thank you all.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

"I have to admit I'm struggling this week.

I lost my father early Tuesday morning. I was working away and got a call at 8.30 at night. I was by his bed side by midnioand was there until he passed around 6am.

I don't know if I'm coming or going at the moment. I know it will get better and easier.

For anyone else struggling this week I hope it get better for you too "

Make sure you are not alone in your thoughts during this period.

It will be a gruelling busy period up to and during the funeral. Your feet will not touch the ground. You won't start grieving until after funeral. Right now you are in shock.

Draw comfort in that good people coalesce during tough times to help one another through.

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By *obilebottomMan
50 weeks ago

All over

So sorry to hear. Hood to share how you feel. You make sure you also take care of yourself

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By *mber SkiesWoman
50 weeks ago

Cwmderi

Sorry for your loss wonko sending hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

My condolences Wonko.

May he RIP

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

I’m so sorry for your loss

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
50 weeks ago

stanley

So sorry to hear this

I was the same when I lost my mum, didn’t know what to do, couldn’t really assemble my thoughts or even rationalise my emotions.

I made the mistake of focusing on the practical stuff, funeral, probate etc and didn’t deal with my grief and it came back to bite me badly.

Please please take time for you and talk to people about how you’re feeling, externalise it , allow yourself to grieve, don’t bottle it up.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Sorry for your loss wonko one day at a time is all you can do.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
50 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Hey man I'm sorry to hear that. Awful news. I hope everything works out buddy.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

look after yourself dude.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

"So sorry to hear this

I was the same when I lost my mum, didn’t know what to do, couldn’t really assemble my thoughts or even rationalise my emotions.

I made the mistake of focusing on the practical stuff, funeral, probate etc and didn’t deal with my grief and it came back to bite me badly.

Please please take time for you and talk to people about how you’re feeling, externalise it , allow yourself to grieve, don’t bottle it up.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Be mindful you had a lot to deal with. You had to do all those things. Grief comes later and yes it does come at you when you aren't looking. Something innocuous triggers it, then you process it, then life goes on.

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By *oft_SensualTV/TS
50 weeks ago

Yorkshire

There's absolutely no 'right' way to deal with grief and suffering in these circumstances. Expect to feel a variety of emotions from relief to guilt and everything in between.

Everyone processes these tragic circumstances in different ways and at different paces.

Losing a parent is probably one of the most stressful things that can happen to a person in their life, get everyone in your circle behind you and don't be afraid to call on your GP and local CMHT for further help if you need it. x

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Oh Wonko. I'm so incredibly sorry to read about your such sad news. I'm afraid I don't have a magic wand to make the pain go away, but look after yourself, and keep remembering the good times you shared with your Dad.

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By *educing_EmCouple
50 weeks ago

Tipperary

So sorry for your loss Wonko.

It's a horrible thing to lose someone. Sending hugs

Em x

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Really sorry Wonko, sending hugs

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
50 weeks ago

Markfield

Sending hugs wonko whether you want them or not xxx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
50 weeks ago

little house on the praire

sorry to here this wonko

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By *imi_RougeWoman
50 weeks ago

Portsmouth

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By *ddie1966Man
50 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

Really sad to hear this bad news buddy.

My thoughts go out to you and your family at this sad time.

It's hard to understand what your going through, but like you, I've been there.

It's difficult but the pain of such loss does re_ede and although it may not seem like it at the moment, things get better.

Don't think of this time of year in a bad way, but hold on to the memories of the good times as a positive and turn things around.

Stay safe.

Stay sane.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
50 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

So sorry for your loss Wonko, life can be so cruel. Sending thoughts

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
50 weeks ago

Essex

I’m sorry Wonko

You will feel lost, it’s natural. Take your time - it’s your journey & no-one else’s.

Hugs & open inbox if required

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By *edeWoman
50 weeks ago

the abyss

I'm so sorry for your loss

Be gentle on yourself, you will have good days and not so good days x

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By *a LunaWoman
50 weeks ago

South Wales

Sorry for your loss Wonks x

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

I'm sorry Wonko. I'm glad that you got to be there with him. Make sure to take care of yourself. I've lost two people close to Christmas and it seems to hit

hard at this time of year. You'll be feeling raw now I'm sure, so seek support around you if you can. And don't be afraid to let the grief in and allow yourself to feel. Sending a virtual hug.

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By *uga40Man
50 weeks ago

Hemel Hempstead

Hi sorry to hear that but you must talk about it my wife lost her dad in 2022 but didnt talk about it then she had a breakdown you must think about you so takecare

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By *orphia2003Woman
50 weeks ago

Tonypandy.

So sorry to hear your news. Inbox is open if you need it.

Nothing else to say that hasn't already been said. Take care of yourself and allow yourself time.

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By *avexxMan
50 weeks ago

cheshire

ive been there wonko and know how it feels it horrible,, theres some lovely people on here dont be afraid to chat to chat them if you need to,,

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By *winging NutsMan
50 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

Sorry to hear about that Wonko. I lost my wife to cancer a couple of months ago. We were active on here 3-4 years ago until she contracted it. Hellish three years followed. I just feel so incredibly alone ATM to be honest. I think I am going to start posting more in here.....I miss the sense of community I felt here in the past.

First posts in two years.

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By *eepingWarm1Man
50 weeks ago

pembury

Ah man. Just wanna give you a great big hug.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
50 weeks ago

North West

Sending you our condolences, Wonko, and echoing the excellent advice from many others about seeking support and giving yourself time to grieve and process your Dad's death. We hope you have people close to you, be they family, friends, colleagues etc who can offer you a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Sorry to hear of your loss.

Be gentle to yourself over the next few weeks. Lean into those close to you for comfort as and when you need it. Talk about your grief, loss, and also the great memories you two may have shared together throughout life.

Allow yourself time to feel the roller coaster of emotions you’ll eventually experience for the next months.

Even if it’s difficult, try to remember his pain and suffering has ended int his physical world. His spirit will forever continue shining.

My condolences.

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By *hawn ScottMan
50 weeks ago

london Brixton

hmmmm

yeah been a tough year, my wife and daughter had to move in with her parents due to financal issues. my brother died in his sleep from a blood clot in his brain no warning.

my wife told me she had met someone else and wanted a divorce, her new partner is a criminal out on probation for abh and has previous. Had the cheek to threaten me not realising what my job is!

my ex wife is threating to rufuse me access to my daughter unless I give her more money. So my life was turned upside down.

my dad is slowly wasting away and my mum is threating to kill herself.

I stayed in my bedroom for 3 days without eating or sleeping. drank and took enough drugs to put motley crue to shame.

evently slept and woke up still alive?????

things can only go up from here

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By *hawn ScottMan
50 weeks ago

london Brixton

oh and at some point in my state I ran out of booze so went to a dodgey 24h off license in a bad area of brixton at 3am

2 guys pulled a knife on me and told me to hand over the booze. I dropped it and told them if they wanted it they wouldhave to take it. I told them if youre gonna pull a knife then have the balls to use it.

they told me I was fuked up and ran off. I really didn't care at that point

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By *cottish guy 555Man
50 weeks ago

London

Take care my friend. It's a tough time but it shall pass. I genuinely feel for you

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By *orbidden eastMan
50 weeks ago

london dodging electric scooters

It will take time OP and you’ll be up and down for a very long time, but it does get easier with time believe me.

Just take time to reflect and enjoy the time you did have him. You will get there eventually.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
50 weeks ago

Neath valley.

[Removed by poster at 01/12/23 01:18:47]

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
50 weeks ago

Neath valley.

Sorry to hear about your loss wonko. Xx

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
50 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Dear Wonko,

I am so dreadfully sorry for you, upon hearing of your Dad's passing. It's so hard losing someone so close and loved. They're never truly gone as long as their echoes resound in our hearts and our memories of them. All my love to you in your sorrow.

Davina

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
50 weeks ago

Next Door

[Removed by poster at 01/12/23 04:37:29]

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
50 weeks ago

Next Door

Sorry for your loss wonko

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Wonko sorry for your loss

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
50 weeks ago

Weymouth

I'm so sorry Wonko. The fact you are already holding onto the notion it will get easier is amazing

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
50 weeks ago

In the clouds

My big brother died 13 week ago, if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. I can empathise. So sorry for your loss xx

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
50 weeks ago

St Leonards

Hey Wonko.

I've been there. Most or many of us have been there.

Just expect it to be shit, confusing, full of elation over the good times, anger they're gone, resentment for how shit they were sometimes/most times (well, that's part of us loving our parents...judging them cruelly as their kids)..and frankly all sorts of things you may never have felt before.

Just ride the dragon's tail, find somewhere to let the shit out, and then you'll get to the place, after a few months, when he's still with you, even though he's not with you.

Hit walls. Hard. Maybe even good friends. Harder.

Don't kick puppies x.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
50 weeks ago

Staffordshire

wonko.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Sorry for your loss

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

xxxx

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By *melie LALWoman
50 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Bloody hell mate- I don’t even know where to start, I hope you get the time to deal with it any way you need to. Hopefully you have a few close people to make sure you are ok, I and I’m sure others will send our condolences to you! "

This.

Grief is so very personal and normal, and has to be gone through. Be kind to yourself.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
50 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Oh I’m so sorry to read this Wonko.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

Big love coming out to you Wonko.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
50 weeks ago

Thank you all for yous support

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

My deepest sympathy for your loss, Wonko. I hope you find the strength to get through this.

Look after yourself.

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By *issmorganWoman
50 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

So sorry for your loss wonko

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
50 weeks ago

Southampton

"I have to admit I'm struggling this week.

I lost my father early Tuesday morning. I was working away and got a call at 8.30 at night. I was by his bed side by midnioand was there until he passed around 6am.

I don't know if I'm coming or going at the moment. I know it will get better and easier.

For anyone else struggling this week I hope it get better for you too "

Oh wonko I'm so sorry

hugs x

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
50 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Oh Wonko. That's rubbish. It's good you're able to verbalise it though. And I'm sure you'll find your balance again soon

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
50 weeks ago

Somewhere else

"I have to admit I'm struggling this week.

I lost my father early Tuesday morning. I was working away and got a call at 8.30 at night. I was by his bed side by midnioand was there until he passed around 6am.

I don't know if I'm coming or going at the moment. I know it will get better and easier.

For anyone else struggling this week I hope it get better for you too "

I’m sorry for your loss.

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By *xfordjohnMan
50 weeks ago

Oxford

"I have to admit I'm struggling this week.

I lost my father early Tuesday morning. I was working away and got a call at 8.30 at night. I was by his bed side by midnioand was there until he passed around 6am.

I don't know if I'm coming or going at the moment. I know it will get better and easier.

For anyone else struggling this week I hope it get better for you too "

Sorry to read that but at least you were there for him at the end. I was with my wife when she passed away a few months ago. It was kind of beautiful but also horrible in equal measure, I thought. It takes time (a long time, I think) and support, which I hope you have. Take every day as it comes and take care of yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
50 weeks ago

My heartfelt condolences, Wonko. I’m deeply sorry to hear of your loss and struggle with it. I wish you the courage to face the days ahead.

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