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"I definitely mean girls as in the female variety, and it haven’t occurred to me that I could be classed as racist by voicing my appreciation" Women OP, women Using the word Girls, to me, just my opinion, but it says very very young or too young. You get me? I'm not sure on any correctness of anything really but I, again my opinion, wouldn't use the word coloured, I would use another way to word it?? Probably completely wrong and someone will point out I am and I'll learn from it | |||
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"I definitely mean girls as in the female variety, and it haven’t occurred to me that I could be classed as racist by voicing my appreciation Women OP, women Using the word Girls, to me, just my opinion, but it says very very young or too young. You get me? I'm not sure on any correctness of anything really but I, again my opinion, wouldn't use the word coloured, I would use another way to word it?? Probably completely wrong and someone will point out I am and I'll learn from it" You’re not wrong. Coloured is 
PoC is another way of saying it. Melanated people.
Either way, preferences are one thing but the way OP goes on borders fetishism, which is typically seen as negative. | |||
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"I definitely mean girls as in the female variety, and it haven’t occurred to me that I could be classed as racist by voicing my appreciation Women OP, women Using the word Girls, to me, just my opinion, but it says very very young or too young. You get me? I'm not sure on any correctness of anything really but I, again my opinion, wouldn't use the word coloured, I would use another way to word it?? Probably completely wrong and someone will point out I am and I'll learn from it" I don’t agree. A “girls night out” doesn’t usually describe a bunch of minors on a night out, does it? And if you listen to sportswomen, you will typically hear them referring to team mates as “the girls”. | |||
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"I'm glad you know what you like OP, but you do mean "girls" as in female of the species, don't you?? " What else does “girls” mean? I’ve not heard it to mean anything else or to be offensive. Genuine curiosity here. | |||
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"I do have an appreciation and fascination of coloured girls and ladies, It could be the colour of the skin and their beautiful complexion linked to the often ample shape of their body . My girlfriend noticed my fascination, and said that she feels the same about black men, Their bodies look strong and muscular, and she enjoys the feeling of dominance they gave her, Anyone else feel a sexual attraction to our coloured fabwingers " Sounds to me that the ideal solution would be for you to have an Asian or African girlfriend, and for your current girlfriend to have a black boyfriend. | |||
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"I definitely mean girls as in the female variety, and it haven’t occurred to me that I could be classed as racist by voicing my appreciation Women OP, women Using the word Girls, to me, just my opinion, but it says very very young or too young. You get me? I'm not sure on any correctness of anything really but I, again my opinion, wouldn't use the word coloured, I would use another way to word it?? Probably completely wrong and someone will point out I am and I'll learn from it I don’t agree. A “girls night out” doesn’t usually describe a bunch of minors on a night out, does it? And if you listen to sportswomen, you will typically hear them referring to team mates as “the girls”." I suppose I'll look hypocritical but the word girl, I feel, in the right setting is OK to use like the example you've wrote. But using the word on a site for swinging/ sex or anything sexual is inappropriate. So we will agree to disagree | |||
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"Hold on with the “racist” label please. If a very large proportion of the ladies on here can say: “black men only” “bbc only” “white men only - it’s just my preference” Or (in my opinion the worst) “no Chinese or Asian men” Then I’m pretty sure the OP saying he really admires women with darker skin is fine." This | |||
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"Hold on with the “racist” label please. If a very large proportion of the ladies on here can say: “black men only” “bbc only” “white men only - it’s just my preference” Or (in my opinion the worst) “no Chinese or Asian men” Then I’m pretty sure the OP saying he really admires women with darker skin is fine." Darker skin right here and we agree with this. We do not take any offence at the OP's choice of words. No doubt others will, but each to their own! Sometimes it's political correctness gone mad! | |||
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"I'm glad you know what you like OP, but you do mean "girls" as in female of the species, don't you?? What else does “girls” mean? I’ve not heard it to mean anything else or to be offensive. Genuine curiosity here. " I think people are trying to be offended because he used a word which in a different context could mean minors even though it's (in my opinion) pretty clear he didn't mean schoolgirls but was using it as a synonym for women, in the sense of 'girls night out' like someone said above. Granted, 'girls and ladies' is a bit superfluous and 'women' might have been a better choice of term but I thought it was pretty clear what the OP had intended it to mean. I do think we need to be careful about fetishising, but equally about shouting racism every time anyone so much as mentions skin colour. In reality, I suspect its more often a case of poor generalisation than any negative intent. "I like Black women", I like blonde women", "I like educated women" - presumably no one really likes *every* Black, blonde or educated woman, it's usually more the case that it's a characteristic that they admire if she's generally their type. "I like X women" is a much easier and less wordy way of saying it though. | |||
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"Hold on with the “racist” label please. If a very large proportion of the ladies on here can say: “black men only” “bbc only” “white men only - it’s just my preference” Or (in my opinion the worst) “no Chinese or Asian men” Then I’m pretty sure the OP saying he really admires women with darker skin is fine." Firstly- he didn’t exactly say he prefers darker skinned women. He used language that can be considered offensive. Secondly- SOME people may be ok with the fetishisation but not all people are and actually many of us accept that it’s based on racist myths and stereotypes. Also I appreciate what you mean by this post but saying that people ‘can’ do these things doesn’t mean that people don’t take offence or issue with them. This topic comes up a lot. | |||
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"Hold on with the “racist” label please. If a very large proportion of the ladies on here can say: “black men only” “bbc only” “white men only - it’s just my preference” Or (in my opinion the worst) “no Chinese or Asian men” Then I’m pretty sure the OP saying he really admires women with darker skin is fine. Firstly- he didn’t exactly say he prefers darker skinned women. He used language that can be considered offensive. Secondly- SOME people may be ok with the fetishisation but not all people are and actually many of us accept that it’s based on racist myths and stereotypes. Also I appreciate what you mean by this post but saying that people ‘can’ do these things doesn’t mean that people don’t take offence or issue with them. This topic comes up a lot. " Which particular bit(s) of his language do you feel could be considered offensive? Honest question, am hoping to improve my own awareness | |||
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"Why is it s fetish to be attracted to someone of a different colour of skin to your own? Does that apply to men or woman attracted to their same sex? Also racism is about discrimination so how is op discriminating about woman of colour?" Well said. The OP hasn't done anything wrong. But there are people in the forums that will turn a perfect sunny say into an ice storm. | |||
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"Why is it s fetish to be attracted to someone of a different colour of skin to your own? Does that apply to men or woman attracted to their same sex? Also racism is about discrimination so how is op discriminating about woman of colour? Well said. The OP hasn't done anything wrong. But there are people in the forums that will turn a perfect sunny say into an ice storm." As a mixed race man born in the 80s I don’t really find the term “coloured” offensive but that word hasn’t been deemed acceptable for about 30 years. | |||
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"I do have an appreciation and fascination of coloured girls and ladies, It could be the colour of the skin and their beautiful complexion linked to the often ample shape of their body . My girlfriend noticed my fascination, and said that she feels the same about black men, Their bodies look strong and muscular, and she enjoys the feeling of dominance they gave her, Anyone else feel a sexual attraction to our coloured fabwingers " we need a face palm emoji | |||
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"My understanding is that women, girls are now men, who can use any toilet or choose either prison. I am so confused so are women, women in the old term or the new one." Women are still women. Anything else is a wolf in sheep's clothing, no matter what race, colour or planet they come from. | |||
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"My understanding is that women, girls are now men, who can use any toilet or choose either prison. I am so confused so are women, women in the old term or the new one. Women are still women. Anything else is a wolf in sheep's clothing, no matter what race, colour or planet they come from." Now I see what you mean, but in this day and age of pronouns is it? A women is no longer a women not saying I agree, but previous threads say different, that a man can be a women if the man chooses to be. So in that vain this thread is wholly offensive. is it not? | |||
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"My understanding is that women, girls are now men, who can use any toilet or choose either prison. I am so confused so are women, women in the old term or the new one. Women are still women. Anything else is a wolf in sheep's clothing, no matter what race, colour or planet they come from. Now I see what you mean, but in this day and age of pronouns is it? A women is no longer a women not saying I agree, but previous threads say different, that a man can be a women if the man chooses to be. So in that vain this thread is wholly offensive. is it not?" Getting a long way off track here … quelle surprise | |||
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"My understanding is that women, girls are now men, who can use any toilet or choose either prison. I am so confused so are women, women in the old term or the new one. Women are still women. Anything else is a wolf in sheep's clothing, no matter what race, colour or planet they come from. Now I see what you mean, but in this day and age of pronouns is it? A women is no longer a women not saying I agree, but previous threads say different, that a man can be a women if the man chooses to be. So in that vain this thread is wholly offensive. is it not? Getting a long way off track here … quelle surprise " Just food for thought | |||
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"My understanding is that women, girls are now men, who can use any toilet or choose either prison. I am so confused so are women, women in the old term or the new one. Women are still women. Anything else is a wolf in sheep's clothing, no matter what race, colour or planet they come from. Now I see what you mean, but in this day and age of pronouns is it? A women is no longer a women not saying I agree, but previous threads say different, that a man can be a women if the man chooses to be. So in that vain this thread is wholly offensive. is it not? Getting a long way off track here … quelle surprise Just food for thought" The gender question is done to death on other discussions. Why not stick to what OP actually posted and discuss that with him? | |||
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" Firstly- he didn’t exactly say he prefers darker skinned women. He used language that can be considered offensive. Secondly- SOME people may be ok with the fetishisation but not all people are and actually many of us accept that it’s based on racist myths and stereotypes. Also I appreciate what you mean by this post but saying that people ‘can’ do these things doesn’t mean that people don’t take offence or issue with them. This topic comes up a lot. Which particular bit(s) of his language do you feel could be considered offensive? Honest question, am hoping to improve my own awareness " It’s context obviously but ‘coloured’ is an outdated term that some people take offence to given its historical context in this country. I am also aware that in some countries it it’s still used to describe particular groups however it’s clear that in grouping Black and Asian people into this, his language is not referring to that group. I also took issue with his wife’s outdated stereotypical myths about Black men fwiw. | |||
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"My understanding is that women, girls are now men, who can use any toilet or choose either prison. I am so confused so are women, women in the old term or the new one. Women are still women. Anything else is a wolf in sheep's clothing, no matter what race, colour or planet they come from. Now I see what you mean, but in this day and age of pronouns is it? A women is no longer a women not saying I agree, but previous threads say different, that a man can be a women if the man chooses to be. So in that vain this thread is wholly offensive. is it not? Getting a long way off track here … quelle surprise Just food for thought The gender question is done to death on other discussions. Why not stick to what OP actually posted and discuss that with him? " Good call. The thread is at risk of becoming one big paella of intolerance. | |||
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" Firstly- he didn’t exactly say he prefers darker skinned women. He used language that can be considered offensive. Secondly- SOME people may be ok with the fetishisation but not all people are and actually many of us accept that it’s based on racist myths and stereotypes. Also I appreciate what you mean by this post but saying that people ‘can’ do these things doesn’t mean that people don’t take offence or issue with them. This topic comes up a lot. Which particular bit(s) of his language do you feel could be considered offensive? Honest question, am hoping to improve my own awareness It’s context obviously but ‘coloured’ is an outdated term that some people take offence to given its historical context in this country. I am also aware that in some countries it it’s still used to describe particular groups however it’s clear that in grouping Black and Asian people into this, his language is not referring to that group. I also took issue with his wife’s outdated stereotypical myths about Black men fwiw. " Thanks. I can see how some of the terminology he used could be seen as out of date. But my initial concerns were the stereotyping of Asian and African women as being “large”. And the bit about Asian and African ladies having beautiful complexions … he’s saying that Caucasian women don’t? Once you start generalising about racial groups based on perceived physical characteristics or stereotypes, you’re pretty much fucked. | |||
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"The word “coloured” was once considered polite because “black” had negative connotations. My parents generation used “coloured” to be polite and now they’d get a hard time for it. I don’t think the OP was trying to be offensive. Even if the language was a little out of touch with the in-vogue language of 2023." Ok, we know the OP was well meaning. But that doesn’t mean people can’t offended or upset dislike the language used or the stereotypes. Like I’m sorry that your parents generation can’t say coloured anymore but that’s life. Things change for the better. | |||
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"The word “coloured” was once considered polite because “black” had negative connotations. My parents generation used “coloured” to be polite and now they’d get a hard time for it. I don’t think the OP was trying to be offensive. Even if the language was a little out of touch with the in-vogue language of 2023. Ok, we know the OP was well meaning. But that doesn’t mean people can’t offended or upset dislike the language used or the stereotypes. Like I’m sorry that your parents generation can’t say coloured anymore but that’s life. Things change for the better. " Being offended doesn’t make them right. | |||
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"The word “coloured” was once considered polite because “black” had negative connotations. My parents generation used “coloured” to be polite and now they’d get a hard time for it. I don’t think the OP was trying to be offensive. Even if the language was a little out of touch with the in-vogue language of 2023. Ok, we know the OP was well meaning. But that doesn’t mean people can’t offended or upset dislike the language used or the stereotypes. Like I’m sorry that your parents generation can’t say coloured anymore but that’s life. Things change for the better. Being offended doesn’t make them right." I have no idea what you’re trying to say but people (on the receiving end of the term) have been offended by the term for years. In this instance, um yeah, I think it’s right that people tell the OP that he shouldn’t use that term. Particularly if he’s keen on the company of poc.  | |||
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"The word “coloured” was once considered polite because “black” had negative connotations. My parents generation used “coloured” to be polite and now they’d get a hard time for it. I don’t think the OP was trying to be offensive. Even if the language was a little out of touch with the in-vogue language of 2023. Ok, we know the OP was well meaning. But that doesn’t mean people can’t offended or upset dislike the language used or the stereotypes. Like I’m sorry that your parents generation can’t say coloured anymore but that’s life. Things change for the better. Being offended doesn’t make them right. I have no idea what you’re trying to say but people (on the receiving end of the term) have been offended by the term for years. In this instance, um yeah, I think it’s right that people tell the OP that he shouldn’t use that term. Particularly if he’s keen on the company of poc. "If people are offended by someone who is uninformed and meant no offence then the best thing they can do is take a sledgehammer to their phone. Those people aren’t ready for the internet. | |||
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"The word “coloured” was once considered polite because “black” had negative connotations. My parents generation used “coloured” to be polite and now they’d get a hard time for it. I don’t think the OP was trying to be offensive. Even if the language was a little out of touch with the in-vogue language of 2023. Ok, we know the OP was well meaning. But that doesn’t mean people can’t offended or upset dislike the language used or the stereotypes. Like I’m sorry that your parents generation can’t say coloured anymore but that’s life. Things change for the better. Being offended doesn’t make them right. I have no idea what you’re trying to say but people (on the receiving end of the term) have been offended by the term for years. In this instance, um yeah, I think it’s right that people tell the OP that he shouldn’t use that term. Particularly if he’s keen on the company of poc.
If people are offended by someone who is uninformed and meant no offence then the best thing they can do is take a sledgehammer to their phone. Those people aren’t ready for the internet."Do you know who else isn’t ready for the internet? The people that think coloured is still an appropriate term in this context. But we’ve still got to put up with them. Digital exclusion isn’t working  grrrr | |||
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