FabSwingers.com forum: Rejection etiquette

By *nterracial cpl essex OP Couple
52 weeks ago

Essex

Would saying sorry you’re not my type be classed as rude? What would be a more suitable response. Just saying no thanks seems a bit blunt.

A couple who checked us out ALOT finally messaged, sent face pics, I (f) declined since he was not my type. She then turned psycho ranting how rude I was for saying this. And that I wasn’t his type (why message us then) and that she wasn’t impressed with my photos etc (then why keep looking about 8 times a day for the past month ) and then blocked us.

Why are people weird? Why will I never know the answers to my questions. Why am I amused by all of this. Why can some not take rejection. Why is it so bloody cold

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By *heekyDemandCouple
52 weeks ago

Leicester

People.

As long as I live I'll never understand them.

Won't stop me trying though.

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By *naswingdressWoman
52 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

No. People can't take rejection. Not my type is fine.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
52 weeks ago

Portsmouth

Say no thanks, and then block. Saves all that!

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
52 weeks ago

London

"Would saying sorry you’re not my type be classed as rude? What would be a more suitable response. Just saying no thanks seems a bit blunt.

Why are people weird? Why will I never know the answers to my questions. Why am I amused by all of this. Why can some not take rejection. Why is it so bloody cold

They're lashing out because they're emotionally immature and their ego got bruised.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
52 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I just say "no thank you" less for them to get angry at

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
52 weeks ago

Leeds

Some people don't take rejection well & some are just fucking entitled!

Either way a no thank you is fine or a not for me.

Mrs

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
52 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Don’t reply.

Easy.

No thanks needed

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

"Would saying sorry you’re not my type be classed as rude? What would be a more suitable response. Just saying no thanks seems a bit blunt.

Why are people weird? Why will I never know the answers to my questions. Why am I amused by all of this. Why can some not take rejection. Why is it so bloody cold

How would you want to be rejected if someone doesn't fancy you?

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By *dwalu2Couple
52 weeks ago

Bristol

Just say thanks but not for us, and wish them well.

If there is anything other than no reply or a polite acknowledgement in response, block them.

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By *host63Man
52 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

"Would saying sorry you’re not my type be classed as rude? What would be a more suitable response. Just saying no thanks seems a bit blunt.

Why are people weird? Why will I never know the answers to my questions. Why am I amused by all of this. Why can some not take rejection. Why is it so bloody cold

I tend to find women take rejection quite badly.

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By *bwgirlygirlWoman
52 weeks ago

Glasgow

Unread the message then delete. If they message again don't read it, just delete it

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By *pl4fun82Couple
52 weeks ago

Lincs

We try to be polite where possible especially if they have read the profile but we’ve had it where they totally turned on us and said that we were “idiots, she’s no oil painting and we are time wasters” all because they weren’t for us haha

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
52 weeks ago

Staffordshire

"Unread the message then delete. If they message again don't read it, just delete it"

Yeah baby

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I have had rejections and actually think a no thanks is more than adequate, at least they took the time to reply

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By *itygamesMan
52 weeks ago

"Would saying sorry you’re not my type be classed as rude? What would be a more suitable response. Just saying no thanks seems a bit blunt.

Why are people weird? Why will I never know the answers to my questions. Why am I amused by all of this. Why can some not take rejection. Why is it so bloody cold

sounds like a single males actions

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
52 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Cover your bases and expect a shite comment from a disgruntled twat. So just say something subtle like ...

"Fuckin Jesus, how can someone with only one head be that ugly? You're not for us. Sorry

*Make sure you apologise and leave the laughing emoji too.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
52 weeks ago

Here and There

I think ‘sorry you’re not my type’ is fine. Anyone responding badly to that clearly has their own issues.

I think often people stray into more detail though, which can sometimes be rude;

‘I’m not into skinny guys’

‘I’m not into fat girls’

Etc

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By *he ass man 666Man
52 weeks ago

paradise city

Simple no thanks will do but some people don’t take it well , but that’s there problem block if needed

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Imagine if fabs had a "hide my profile from men/women/couples/idiots etc feature"

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I put....

Thanks for your message

I'm sorry but you don't fit what I'm looking for.

Happy fabbing

It covers so many reasons why they're not for me and isn't a direct rejection of them based on looks alone.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
52 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I delete and block

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I don't even bother trying to be polite anymore. I just delete and block if they're not my type. You can never tell which ones will come back angry over a "sorry, no thanks" or "thanks but you're not my type" - I prefer to protect my peace

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I honestly don't get it. Met a lovely lady at a club, hit it off, had a greet time, she even left me a glowing review. Then when I messaged to say I might go again and would like to see her, all I got was 'I don't want to meet you again'. It felt rather nasty and made me wonder what the point of being so kind and friendly was.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

"I honestly don't get it. Met a lovely lady at a club, hit it off, had a greet time, she even left me a glowing review. Then when I messaged to say I might go again and would like to see her, all I got was 'I don't want to meet you again'. It felt rather nasty and made me wonder what the point of being so kind and friendly was. "

Perhaps she realised that you were only being "kind and friendly" to get a fuck.

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By *all me missWoman
52 weeks ago

South Wales

"I don't even bother trying to be polite anymore. I just delete and block if they're not my type. You can never tell which ones will come back angry over a "sorry, no thanks" or "thanks but you're not my type" - I prefer to protect my peace

This is what i do now after receiving some vile messages from sending polite replies …..some people just can’t handle rejection

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By *rHotNottsMan
52 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Why say sorry ? Unless you are sorry

Just say no thanks, you’re not what I’m

Looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Nobody likes to be rejected. And nobody likes people being a dick about it either.

You want to see someone’s true colours? Tell them no.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Perhaps she realised that you were only being "kind and friendly" to get a fuck.

I meant her being kind and friendly. But I was actually 'kind and friendly' because that's the vibe of the club.

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By *adCherriesCouple
52 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"Unread the message then delete. If they message again don't read it, just delete it"

This

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By *iss LovelyWoman
52 weeks ago

Here and There

All the veris I leave say nice things about the person, but it doesn’t mean I want to do it again.

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By *ife NinjaMan
52 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Part of the territory. You get use to it however nicely it's put across

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I reply "You're not for me, enjoy fabs" then block before they can reply. It saves the drama, possible abuse back and keeps my peace

Fabs is supposed to be fun right!

)

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Any response is appreciated! You actually do not have to respond x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
52 weeks ago

Central

Say what you want, if you're respectful. But no reply means thanks but no thanks. A block then makes this explicit.

Keep things simple. Block and move on. No abuse etc

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By *issmorganWoman
52 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I say simply, thanks but no thanks, happy swinging

Then I block, saves any come back or why nots etc.

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By *issmorganWoman
52 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Some just can't accept a not for me and throw their teddies out of the pram.

Block them If you haven't already op.

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By *issmorganWoman
52 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

You can counter block, just seen that they blocked you.

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By *oxesMan
52 weeks ago

Southend, Essex

Block block block

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Some rejections get very personal...I declined a woman on here and being a decent kind of chap I didn't block...but she took it one step further and stalked me on the forums, literally shitting all over my posts.

She was the reason I stepped away for a while

So no disrespect ladies, but women can be equally as bad as men

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/23 18:59:45]

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By *eyond PurityCouple
52 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

We delete or say ‘you aren’t for us’

No reasons needed

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By *agnar73Man
52 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I’ve never had to yet. I’ll go back to top and take notes.

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By *lexV16Man
52 weeks ago

Welling

I just send No, thanks, we aren’t a good much, happy fabbing.

But I am thicked skin guy whatever nasty message I might get in return doesn’t touch me in slightest. I will just ignore

From the other side I completely understand these who are more sensitive or have worst experience so think NO Response and Deleted message is polite enough for this site.

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By *a LunaWoman
52 weeks ago

South Wales

I find a shrieky “You cannot be serious Man!” really sums up the angsty emotions of a rejection. Usually level it at the keyboard but…..whatever is to hand.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Empathy but not sympathy

Tackle head on tell the truth

Move on

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Be firm be nice. Reject as you would prefer to be rejected.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

This is on them not on you lovely.

I do a mix of delete and no reply, saying ‘thanks but not for me’, ‘unfortunately not for me but happy fabbing or similar if the message I got was particularly nice.

I also get annoyed when people then vent and abuse me and o block and report!

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

If someone takes the time to message and say “no thanks” I’ll always reply with something along the lines of “no worries, happy fabbing”

If someone replies with “no chance you fool” then I’ll block them. If I’m lacking maturity at that particular moment, I’ll probably also call them a ****

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By *isterE ManMan
52 weeks ago

Taunton

Dafuq...!

"Your not my type" is probably the best way to be rejected.

"Ahh OK, thanks. Good luck" should be the reply.

People are arseholes!!

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By *ullyMan
52 weeks ago

Near Clacton

I say "thanks but no thanks".

" you are not my type",

Or I don't think we are suited.

With others that clearly have not read my profile I simply but politely ask them to go back and read it.

What gets me though are those that argue, Like really??

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
52 weeks ago

Somewhere else

I always adjust my preferences to suit absolutely everyone who messages me. If they want something it’s my job to give it to them.

*spreads wide*

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I’m not saying that it was the man that got mad about it but it sounds like it was a man getting mad about it. Especially the ‘You’re not his type’ bit

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By *naswingdressWoman
52 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I always adjust my preferences to suit absolutely everyone who messages me. If they want something it’s my job to give it to them.

*spreads wide*"

Knowing your place/doing your duty etc.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
52 weeks ago

North West

"Would saying sorry you’re not my type be classed as rude? What would be a more suitable response. Just saying no thanks seems a bit blunt.

Why are people weird? Why will I never know the answers to my questions. Why am I amused by all of this. Why can some not take rejection. Why is it so bloody cold

I can answer the last question!! It's so bloody cold because we have a north easterly blowing from Scandinavia and it's already one of their coldest winters for a long while.

Fuck knows on the rest of it though

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
52 weeks ago

North West

Welcome to fab lol.

It always gets abusive when you say no.

Anyone who isn’t for me, straight delete. Don’t even reply anymore cos this gets so bad.

I’m always beautiful when they message and then fat when I say no ha.

Not worth a response. Site FAQ’s state a deleted message = a polite no thanks. X

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
52 weeks ago

Markfield

On the rare occasions that I reply to a random unsolicited message, I say something along the lines of “not for me thank you, happy fabbing x” and usually block immediately.

If I’ve been chatting to someone and for some reason get the ick either something they say or a pic that isnt my thing I try to explain briefly that I’ve decided we’re not right for each other and therefore am going to block. Then send, block, delete thread from sent items and inbox.

But for me, this is why I like to exchange face pics pretty early on in the convo and also check marital status / living arrangements etc.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
52 weeks ago

Great Dunmow

"Would saying sorry you’re not my type be classed as rude? What would be a more suitable response. Just saying no thanks seems a bit blunt.

Why are people weird? Why will I never know the answers to my questions. Why am I amused by all of this. Why can some not take rejection. Why is it so bloody cold

The usual Fab shenanigans. As others have said perhaps a more general “Sorry not for us. Happy Fabbing” message is better. I can see the merit in not replying at all if just one message. Harder to do that if chatted for a while or even met. One thing about I’ve learnt is that best to just keep it general and impersonal as you never know when you might meet them if on the house party / club circuit and it can get awkward

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