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Establishing first contact!

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By *umblecut OP   Man
over a year ago

Finchley

Hi all,

Writing the first message is so hard, I never know how to start.

What are some definite dos and don'ts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone likes different things.

I like zero compliments and humour. Works for me when I send messages.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Be yourself. Be courteous. Take no, or no reply on the chin and move on. Be funny. Read the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The sun +moon need to be aligned for me, but there is a 'tone and type of language' that is a massive yes beacon for me

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

Apparrently 'free now?' works wonders. Or at least very popular going by the sort of messages we all get sometimes Just be yourself, giod luck

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Remember the prime directive.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Hey sugar tits, you look fantastic, ‘Fancy a fuck’ - has never failed

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By *tylebender03Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I thought this thread was going to be about the film first contact

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By *umblecut OP   Man
over a year ago

Finchley


"Everyone likes different things.

I like zero compliments and humour. Works for me when I send messages. "

Thanks. I thought compliments would've been a safe thing to write. I don't mean sleazy compliments (nice tits etc), I mean non sexual compliments. Like complimenting their dress in the pic etc.

Would that weird?

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By *umblecut OP   Man
over a year ago

Finchley


"Be yourself. Be courteous. Take no, or no reply on the chin and move on. Be funny. Read the profile. "

I always be myself. Whether I want to or not.

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By *umblecut OP   Man
over a year ago

Finchley


"Remember the prime directive."

Found the fellow Trekkie!

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By *umblecut OP   Man
over a year ago

Finchley


"Apparrently 'free now?' works wonders. Or at least very popular going by the sort of messages we all get sometimes Just be yourself, giod luck "

cheers mate!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

It shouldn’t be hard. When you find someone you really like, you will know exactly what to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everyone likes different things.

I like zero compliments and humour. Works for me when I send messages.

Thanks. I thought compliments would've been a safe thing to write. I don't mean sleazy compliments (nice tits etc), I mean non sexual compliments. Like complimenting their dress in the pic etc.

Would that weird? "

To me. Yes.

To normal people. No.

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

Just something that makes me want to respond. There are no dos and don'ts as people like different things. The profile also needs to be attractive otherwise the message doesn't matter.

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By *umblecut OP   Man
over a year ago

Finchley


"The sun +moon need to be aligned for me, but there is a 'tone and type of language' that is a massive yes beacon for me "

I used to try and judge from the profile and pics posted what type of tone and language I should use, but it's incredibly difficult to get right. So now I just use the tone and language most comfortable for me. If we match, we match. If not, then that's cool too.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Hi all,

Writing the first message is so hard, I never know how to start.

What are some definite dos and don'ts? "
You can't win whatever you put so do a mixture of cut and paste messages and sporadically send them everywhere, you should get some tiddlers eventually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch the film Arrival and take notes.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Read the profile

Attach a face pic

Be polite

Pay a compliment

Ask a question

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By *-YourPleasureMan
over a year ago

sourhdowns

Well it’s seems woman and men speak a different language !! Speak slowly and always maintain eye contact !!! I repeat do not look at the booobs - oh too late !!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Be polite & don't send your cock, that's all I ask for.

I don't understand the need for essays but as long as it's not just a Hi & something I can actually reply to I don't really care what the 1st message is, even if it's shit if I like the profile I'll still reply if I don't I won't.

Mrs

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By *nyx_xyMan
over a year ago

London

Unfortunately, sending first messages as a single male is too often a total waste of time. There are much more effective ways of getting people’s attention.

I’d advise sending first messages it only if you are very keen on someone and are prepared to follow their requirements, or if they’ve expressed interest in you in some way – a wink, a fabbed photo, a forum post etc.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Read the profile and find something you have in common from it.

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By *maxMan
over a year ago

london

Just grow a bigger dick, then they will come to you

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Dear OP,

Sending the same message to the same person over and over again is a no-no, however cut-and-paste messages are fine or, if you have a personalised template that is unique and represents your typical style and manner of message or rhetoric would be recommended. The key is to ensure that your message isn't going to be an identikit pattern comparative to your peers.

Certain people reading this will baulk at my suggestion of the cut-and-paste approach. However, if you're messaging 100+ people there are only so many permutations of how someone can say "how do you do", "hello", "good afternoon", "pleased to meet you", "delighted", "charmed I'm sure" and so forth.

Personalise your message by referencing anything you can glean from the recipient's profile. However this isn't always possible because many people say very little and indeed have very little written in their profile, if anything at all. Don't be put off by this: some of the best interactions I've had were from women who had no profile narrative whatsoever (they had a lovely avatar though), because they are new, shy, cautious and not fully acclimatised to the wacky world of Fab.

Good luck OP.

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By *teelballsMan
over a year ago

central london


"Hi all,

Writing the first message is so hard, I never know how to start.

What are some definite dos and don'ts? "

To be quite frank, it’s hard because you will rarely get a reply. This is a site where couples and women rarely actually meet single guys .

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By *umblecut OP   Man
over a year ago

Finchley


"Watch the film Arrival and take notes."

Ah a fellow sci-fi fan! Love that film btw.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Watch the film Arrival and take notes.

Ah a fellow sci-fi fan! Love that film btw. "

Ooh you've seen it. I wondered if anyone would get it. It's a great film. I watched Annihilation just before it and loved that too.

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By *umblecut OP   Man
52 weeks ago

Finchley


"Watch the film Arrival and take notes.

Ah a fellow sci-fi fan! Love that film btw.

Ooh you've seen it. I wondered if anyone would get it. It's a great film. I watched Annihilation just before it and loved that too."

Both films are excellent. Annihilation especially is great. The whole concept was original.

"District 9" is also a real gem of a sci-fi film that a lot of people haven't seen.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I was really hoping this was a Star Trek thread. Oh well.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"I thought this thread was going to be about the film first contact"

Me too!! Disappointed!

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By *uliette500Woman
52 weeks ago

Hull

Everyone is different but my first and biggest tip is read the profile, they may have listed their own dos and donts for you.

Then send a message that shows you have read the profile and introduce yourself, be nice and be polite.

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By *ucka39Man
52 weeks ago

Newcastle

Try and be creative use the imagination even a little sense of humour. Might not work with everyone as some wouldn't understand the slightest and would prefer someone slightly different what ever that is so just be Homer Simpson

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Op. Good luck writing the most precarious worded piece of literature ever!!!!

If they don’t like the look of you, it’s an ignore, and then there’s your grammar, and your photos, and your use of a phrase in your profile…. And the fact you once wore a blue shirt shopping one day. Anything make your message useless and disappear into the abyss.

Just say hello, introduce yourself and hope they like the fact you are polite and friendly.

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By *ooBulMan
52 weeks ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Hey, "Badonka-Donk!"

"Pherwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!"

Then send a pic that isn't tally whacker related.

Then delete yer message & forget. You got a 50% chance of them replying...

Then go & make a cup of tea & have a chocolate finger for your efforts as a reward!

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"Watch the film Arrival and take notes.

Ah a fellow sci-fi fan! Love that film btw.

Ooh you've seen it. I wondered if anyone would get it. It's a great film. I watched Annihilation just before it and loved that too.

Both films are excellent. Annihilation especially is great. The whole concept was original.

"District 9" is also a real gem of a sci-fi film that a lot of people haven't seen. "

One seen that too. It's great.

And there was me thinking I was more a thriller type of woman, maybe I'm not.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"Watch the film Arrival and take notes.

Ah a fellow sci-fi fan! Love that film btw.

Ooh you've seen it. I wondered if anyone would get it. It's a great film. I watched Annihilation just before it and loved that too.

Both films are excellent. Annihilation especially is great. The whole concept was original.

"District 9" is also a real gem of a sci-fi film that a lot of people haven't seen.

One seen that too. It's great.

And there was me thinking I was more a thriller type of woman, maybe I'm not."

Maybe you’re a sci-fi geek or a Trekkie??? Come sit with us.

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By *umblecut OP   Man
52 weeks ago

Finchley


"Watch the film Arrival and take notes.

Ah a fellow sci-fi fan! Love that film btw.

Ooh you've seen it. I wondered if anyone would get it. It's a great film. I watched Annihilation just before it and loved that too.

Both films are excellent. Annihilation especially is great. The whole concept was original.

"District 9" is also a real gem of a sci-fi film that a lot of people haven't seen.

One seen that too. It's great.

And there was me thinking I was more a thriller type of woman, maybe I'm not."

My preference in movies, is the same as my preference in people. The individual details don't matter, it's about how the whole thing comes together

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"I was really hoping this was a Star Trek thread. Oh well."

The line must be draw here, this far, no further

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"I was really hoping this was a Star Trek thread. Oh well.

The line must be draw here, this far, no further "

Is it against the prime directive to steer a thread off topic?

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"I was really hoping this was a Star Trek thread. Oh well.

…"

Make it so.

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By *orny-DJMan
52 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea


"I thought this thread was going to be about the film first contact"

Resistance is futile

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 26/11/23 19:52:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"Read the profile

Attach a face pic

Be polite

Pay a compliment

Ask a question"

Paying a compliment is quite ingratiating. Sure sign of inauthenticity to appeal to someone's ego as an introduction

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I’ve never sent a first message on here so following this with only partially feigned interest.

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By *hortishblondeWoman
52 weeks ago

Essex

Just ask about the weather that always works

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I think deep down it's pot luck. If the person fancies you, they're likely to be tolerant of anything. If they don't find you attractive, you can sometimes expect to get a block just trying to break the ice based on something on their profile.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
52 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

I wouldn’t write war and peace as to be honest if you aren’t attractive to us then it really doesn’t matter.

We like to look at profiles and pics after receiving a message so basically all 3 usually have to work.

One of my pet hates is for peoples profiles to be blank with no pics and they message with a pic - it always feels like they are hiding from someone and it also feels like it’s one sided as we’ve written a detailed profile and put plenty of pics up so people already have a flavour of us.

K

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By *umblecut OP   Man
52 weeks ago

Finchley


"Just ask about the weather that always works "

Sooo, _hortishblonde.... how's the weather in Essex.

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By *umblecut OP   Man
52 weeks ago

Finchley


"I think deep down it's pot luck. If the person fancies you, they're likely to be tolerant of anything. If they don't find you attractive, you can sometimes expect to get a block just trying to break the ice based on something on their profile."

Yeah I think this is true in most cases. That why no I just write in my own tone and style and if we click we click.

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By *umblecut OP   Man
52 weeks ago

Finchley


"I wouldn’t write war and peace as to be honest if you aren’t attractive to us then it really doesn’t matter.

We like to look at profiles and pics after receiving a message so basically all 3 usually have to work.

One of my pet hates is for peoples profiles to be blank with no pics and they message with a pic - it always feels like they are hiding from someone and it also feels like it’s one sided as we’ve written a detailed profile and put plenty of pics up so people already have a flavour of us.

K"

I understand what you mean. Although I'm not hiding, I personally don't like having my face pic in my profile. I have plenty of other pics and don't mind sending a face pic privately.

But I agree, if the face isn't attractive , the greatest message in the world probably wouldn't work.

So short sharp message with a face pic. Got it.

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By *umblecut OP   Man
52 weeks ago

Finchley

Everyone has been super helpful with their advice. Really appreciate it guy and gals.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"I was really hoping this was a Star Trek thread. Oh well.

…

Make it so. "

I’m loving these posts!

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

And I’m sorry OP. I’ll stop now.

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By *eroLondonMan
52 weeks ago

Covent Garden


"I was really hoping this was a Star Trek thread. Oh well.

The line must be draw here, this far, no further

Is it against the prime directive to steer a thread off topic?"

•

We are ·all· culpable to a point when it comes to digressing on threads (me included), however the Fab Moderators will 'moderate' and act accordingly if a thread goes significantly off topic [I'm not a mod, nor am I purporting to being one]. You've only been here three weeks. If longevity on the fora is your prime directive then take heed.

#FriendlyAdvice

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"I think deep down it's pot luck. If the person fancies you, they're likely to be tolerant of anything. If they don't find you attractive, you can sometimes expect to get a block just trying to break the ice based on something on their profile."

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By *agic johnsonMan
52 weeks ago

morden

The thing with txt is how it can be interpreted by the reader , things could be taken the wrong way

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago


"I wouldn’t write war and peace as to be honest if you aren’t attractive to us then it really doesn’t matter.

We like to look at profiles and pics after receiving a message so basically all 3 usually have to work.

One of my pet hates is for peoples profiles to be blank with no pics and they message with a pic - it always feels like they are hiding from someone and it also feels like it’s one sided as we’ve written a detailed profile and put plenty of pics up so people already have a flavour of us.

K"

I second this. But I also have a very detailed profile as I like to skip past the initial small talk and dive in to more juicy conversations.

Short messages are perfect, ideally demonstrating what it was about my profile that caught your interest, especially if your bio is not very detailed.

You want to have something in your bio to help you stand out from "man looking for naughty fun with like minded women and couples".

Over the years, the more specific I have got with what I'm looking for, the more of it I have been offered.

A simple "great profile, you sound like we could have fun" works for me, optional face pic (I'll ask soon enough anyway) and if he has some detail to his bio that sounds fun, I'll reply.

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