FabSwingers.com forum: Just a social….

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So if a guy suggests a social in a first message is that too forward?

Do you prefer chat on here then a potential social?

Or is it just nice to meet new people so let’s social?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think it's good to show your intent in a first message. So no, not too forward

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

First message abit soon but after a few messages fine

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

It shows me that they are not really interested in my personality. So I'm not interested in them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

I don't have a lot of free time so I aren't gonna meet someone unless I'm pretty sure it's gonna be more.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've had first messages offering a social meet and while I always insist on one it's usually after weeks of chatting so a request like that from someone I'm not already familiar with would probably be met with a polite thanks but no thanks.

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By *untogetherCouple
over a year ago

Malaga, Spain, Not in U. K.

I think you're going to find a mixed bag on this one. Some people are of the Don't want to meet socially at all, let alone asking for one in first message. Others would rather cut to the chase and see what's on offer instead of endless messages back and forth. I say 50/50 split on the subject.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

No it would put me off if someone is asking to meet either for a social or more in a first message. I prefer to get to know someone before I would even think of meeting them for a social and someone asking in a first message would make me think they are quite pushy.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Yeah, it puts me off if anyone mentions any sort of meet in a first message.

I need to chat before I could decide if I'd want to meet someone, even socially.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

I tend to chat extensively for weeks, sometimes for months and on two occasions for over a year before I've met someone.

More recently, for no clear reasons that I can think of, I've met people within a fortnight — but that's on the back of exchanging 100s of messages of worth and substance, and the other person instigating the meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you know you want to spend time with someone without even exchanging a few messages first?

Most don’t have face pics either so you wouldn’t know whether you’re attracted to them or not.

I can’t imagine many agreeing to a social after 1 message.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

In a first message it would be deleted. Conversation first to see if there’s common ground. I’m a slow burner. I like to get a feel for someone before deciding if I like them or not.

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Although I prefer a social as soon as possible to get the “vibes”, this is too forward for me.

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By *arialoueWoman
over a year ago

bradford

Social after a few messages

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

Not in the first message but I tend to get the measure of someone pretty quickly and know if I want to meet them or not in a few messages. If I am interested then I would much rather meet sooner rather than later.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm very much a social first sort of person but I'd probably find it a bit much... it's situational though.

I'm rather a slow burner and definitely on the demi side. It's not to say I wouldn't like to meet people socially, love doing that. Just... not with it suggested straight away.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's good to show your intent in a first message. So no, not too forward

Thank you For getting involved

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"First message abit soon but after a few messages fine"

Noted

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It shows me that they are not really interested in my personality. So I'm not interested in them. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you're going to find a mixed bag on this one. Some people are of the Don't want to meet socially at all, let alone asking for one in first message. Others would rather cut to the chase and see what's on offer instead of endless messages back and forth. I say 50/50 split on the subject.

Should I report back on the thread stats?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not in the first message but I tend to get the measure of someone pretty quickly and know if I want to meet them or not in a few messages. If I am interested then I would much rather meet sooner rather than later."

Makes more sense… build up to the potential suggestion

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I probably wouldn’t be chatting unless I was interested in meeting them for a social, Unless it’s a forum friend. Not really interested in platonic friends from here anymore (excluding the ones I already have of course)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I probably wouldn’t be chatting unless I was interested in meeting them for a social, Unless it’s a forum friend. Not really interested in platonic friends from here anymore (excluding the ones I already have of course) "

Having said that I’d still chat for ages before I’d meet them. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Having said that I’d still chat for ages before I’d meet them. I can get a lot about someone from chatting. "

Absolutely… chats allow it to open up….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always social within 2 weeks of first chatting but first message is far too presumptuous. I wouldn't chat to them at all.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's important to be honest. Though usually most people will prefer the context to be right. They'll want to be known for them, not a poorly known guess of who they are.

Typically with new interactions, they evolve and find their own way. If someone is not ready to indicate that they may meet, they may alter how they engage with you, perhaps even backing off.

Perhaps offering a range of outcomes could give the illusion of choice?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

For me, someone asking to meet in their first message is an instant no thanks.

I don't know who they are, they don't know who I am. The amount of time I actually have free to spend with other humans is very limited, and I'm not going to spend that time with some stranger that hasn't even established a mutual interest first.

It feels like they'd just meet anyone who happened to be convenient and so wouldn't actually be remotely engaged or interested in getting to know me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done both - but meeting without a social first has involved lots of phone calls beforehand... I guess it depends what you are after - i need to build trust first

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By *ddie1966Man
52 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

It's a strange one this. A little like saying how long is a piece of string.

Only you will know the answer.

Everyone is going to be different. There are people who are difficult to work out and people it just feels so natural to chat to. But I would never make the suggestion to a person unless I was absolutely sure they were comfortable with a possible social meet. I would never expect anything to happen on a first social either. In fact, it's highly likely I would refuse unless it was absolutely obvious we were totally "into" each other.

I pride myself on being a good judge of character. My job relies on it TBH. But after such a short time. Not for me.

But as I said at the start, only you will know.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I’ve offered a social in the 1st message. I’m only asking for a drink and a chat. …

Or we can chat in here forever, it’s all the same to me.

Op, some will be put off by it, and others like to get out and meet face to face. The forum will never have the definitive answer, it’s full of people who sit here day after day chatting online. *Just my opinion, it means nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

You'll never please everyone so I would just do you.

Some message for months without actually progressing to meeting.

If I like someone facially then why not meet in person quickly to establish if there is a spark. Saves a lot of time in my opinion. I'm a social sort anyway and its nice to meet people. A spcial is just that a social until it isn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

" You'll never please everyone so I would just do you.

Some message for months without actually progressing to meeting.

A first message jut be a little fast though ha after a couple of messages though it would be a yes.

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By *tephanie63Woman
52 weeks ago

BRIDGWATER

"So if a guy suggests a social in a first message is that too forward?

Do you prefer chat on here then a potential social?

Or is it just nice to meet new people so let’s social?

I like a social. If asked for one in the first message, I would check out the person's profile first. Then exchange a few messages and photos ( face/body clothed or nude), and decide from there.

It doesn't worry me to receive a social request in first message. To me a social is just that, it is not for sex on that occasion..

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By *ny1localMan
52 weeks ago

READING

Is it wrong of me to INCLUDE in a first message that I'm happy to meet for a social first?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
52 weeks ago

Morning all

Thanks for your thoughts on this …. It’s always good to get the varied answers and the reasons….

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
52 weeks ago

Next Door

It would put me off if in the initial message, would rather engage and exchange messages on here and then think about arrange social.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
52 weeks ago

"It would put me off if in the initial message, would rather engage and exchange messages on here and then think about arrange social.

All about engagement…. See where that leads…

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
52 weeks ago

Next Door

"It would put me off if in the initial message, would rather engage and exchange messages on here and then think about arrange social.

All about engagement…. See where that leads…

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I prefer to chat for awhile. I am not going on anything unsafe.. Safety is paramount. I have had socials purely to check you out because some profiles are not who they say they are.

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
52 weeks ago

on the move

Thinks it's fine, but might not fit the others preferences of timescales.

Still, stringing a sentence together politely like that would put you in the 99.9 percentile for messages on here from our experience

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
52 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think it's a step up from 'Meet now?'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
52 weeks ago

"I think it's a step up from 'Meet now?'

Progression haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
52 weeks ago

"Thinks it's fine, but might not fit the others preferences of timescales.

Still, stringing a sentence together politely like that would put you in the 99.9 percentile for messages on here from our experience

My sentences aren’t where I worry …it’s putting those bloody paragraphs together

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
52 weeks ago

Somewhere else

If he doesn’t offer to meet and shag in the first message, I block him. Bloody time wasters.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

"If he doesn’t offer to meet and shag in the first message, I block him. Bloody time wasters.

Noted

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By (user no longer on site) OP
52 weeks ago

"If he doesn’t offer to meet and shag in the first message, I block him. Bloody time wasters.

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By *uliette500Woman
52 weeks ago

Hull

Any first message that asks for a meet, either for sex or a social gets deleted.

I say this in my profile, I like to chat on here first before I will agree to any form of face to face meeting.

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