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silly statements

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By *ickndom OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wimborne

We have all heard them, like if you fall of that shed and break your leg don't come running to me or if i've told you once i've told you a 1000 times don't exaggerate

love to read yours

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shut your mouth and eat your dinner!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Whenever I'm in the car with my mum and someone belts past at 90 miles an hour she always pipes up; 'Idiot! You won't get there any faster!'

Er... they fecking well will mum

Another ond is 'too cold for snow' (presumable the Artic is only about -2 all year then?) and 'don't say the r-word!' (yeah, because I can make it rain just by saying it )

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By *ickndom OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wimborne

Another classic is, what do you mean your pregnant, how have you managed that.

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By *inky BunnyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Try a welshism : "whose coat is this jacket?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been looking everywhere for it - and do you know what - it was in the last place that I looked!"

Does anybody ever say "It was in the last but one place that I looked"....?

Of COURSE it was in the last place that you looked..!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'It's no use crying over spilt milk'.....Really?...and there was I about to sob my heart out in the hope that the milk would return itself to it's rightful place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I've been looking everywhere for it - and do you know what - it was in the last place that I looked!"

Does anybody ever say "It was in the last but one place that I looked"....?

Of COURSE it was in the last place that you looked..!!!"

That's like when you say you have lost something and someone says where did you have it last , if I knew that it wouldn't be lost would it.

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By *ickndom OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wimborne

[Removed by poster at 01/03/13 11:28:55]

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By *ickndom OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wimborne


""I've been looking everywhere for it - and do you know what - it was in the last place that I looked!"

Does anybody ever say "It was in the last but one place that I looked"....?

Of COURSE it was in the last place that you looked..!!!

That's like when you say you have lost something and someone says where did you have it last , if I knew that it wouldn't be lost would it. "

I know someone who lost their virginity several times , how careless is that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did you do that for?

Because I wanted to, RIGHT!

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By *inky BunnyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I think that the undecideds could go one way or the other. --George Bush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Football commentators make me laugh. The classic one I hear all the time is: "He won't get any closer to scoring than that!" - he would if it went in the fookin net!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem with the French is that they have no word for entrepreneur

George W bush again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem with the French is that they have no word for entrepreneur

George W bush again

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By *asey369Woman
over a year ago

London

Any kind of management speak, such as "we need a holistic cradle to grave approach"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I chopped liver?

of course u arent u beef flavoured twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with the French is that they have no word for entrepreneur

George W bush again "

Good, but not funny enough to need to post it twice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dad always used to say that he and his friend went to different schools together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My bank statement just before pay day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My old ma had a few, if she sent us to the shop and wanted us to hurry up she would say run both ways and walk back never understood that, she would also send us for 5lb of spuds but don't get any big ones they weigh too much,

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

you'll be laughing on the other side of your face in a minute.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Mum: I heard that

Me: I din't say anything

Mum: I know, but you were thinking it

Me: (to self, inside my head) Fuck, she's a mind reader now

Mum: Yes I am and stop fucking swearing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After breaking a neighbours window with my football

"I'll teach you to break my window"

Er you don't have to mate I already have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with the French is that they have no word for entrepreneur

George W bush again

Good, but not funny enough to need to post it twice "

Worked though

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Our Mam - on punishment...Gonna slap your backside 'til your nose bleeds buttermilk

On short skirts/dresses...That'll look nice when it's finished

On hearing "It's not fair"...It's not raining

Fortunately, I've never had my arse slapped hard enough for my nose to bleed, let alone bleed buttermilk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your face will stick like that if the wind changes

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

George W Bush could have a whole thread to himself...he only spoke idiot..

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"Our Mam - on punishment...Gonna slap your backside 'til your nose bleeds buttermilk

On short skirts/dresses...That'll look nice when it's finished

On hearing "It's not fair"...It's not raining

Fortunately, I've never had my arse slapped hard enough for my nose to bleed, let alone bleed buttermilk

"

could be arranged... just to prove your mum wrong!!

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Our Mam - on punishment...Gonna slap your backside 'til your nose bleeds buttermilk

On short skirts/dresses...That'll look nice when it's finished

On hearing "It's not fair"...It's not raining

Fortunately, I've never had my arse slapped hard enough for my nose to bleed, let alone bleed buttermilk

could be arranged... just to prove your mum wrong!! "

Ooooh, right - I'm bent over then, give it your best shot

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"Our Mam - on punishment...Gonna slap your backside 'til your nose bleeds buttermilk

On short skirts/dresses...That'll look nice when it's finished

On hearing "It's not fair"...It's not raining

Fortunately, I've never had my arse slapped hard enough for my nose to bleed, let alone bleed buttermilk

could be arranged... just to prove your mum wrong!!

Ooooh, right - I'm bent over then, give it your best shot "

Hang on... you still got your crutches?

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Our Mam - on punishment...Gonna slap your backside 'til your nose bleeds buttermilk

On short skirts/dresses...That'll look nice when it's finished

On hearing "It's not fair"...It's not raining

Fortunately, I've never had my arse slapped hard enough for my nose to bleed, let alone bleed buttermilk

could be arranged... just to prove your mum wrong!!

Ooooh, right - I'm bent over then, give it your best shot

Hang on... you still got your crutches?"

Yep, bloody hell, spank me with one of them and my fecking nose will bleed buttermilk

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