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unwanted pregnancies

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP   Woman
over a year ago

evesham

are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Yes he is. He doesn't have to carry the baby but he's just as responsible for its creation unless he was tricked in a really despicable way. Even then he should have thought through the other reasons for protecting himself.

With the best will in the world it sometimes happens and then you both have to decide whether to want it or not.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

think it has to be a joint effort

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

This is a tough one! I can totally hear what you are saying - and as a woman even more so. That said I have always felt that as it is my body who carries (or not) the baby... I have made it my responsibility to ensure that I would only conceive with the man I was married to. Old fashioned? Perhaps. Guided by outdated morals? Maybe. But sure enough done in the interest of my (future) children.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

It difficult when anyone is faced with finding out they are pregnant and it's not planned...you go through mixed emotions and very hear wrenching ones...feelings and emotions I never want to experience again...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's never just one persons fault.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Tricky really. Both adults are responsible for the conception, but a woman can have an abortion without the partners permission. It might not have been unwanted by both parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Takes two to do it it should take two to face up to the responsibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got pregnant as a result of a failed vasectomy, we was married and we didnt swing at that time so i wasnt on the pill and we didnt use condoms, i wouldnt say that was anyones fault, there does not always have to be someone to blame, sometimes these things happen

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Yes he is. He doesn't have to carry the baby but he's just as responsible for its creation unless he was tricked in a really despicable way. Even then he should have thought through the other reasons for protecting himself.

With the best will in the world it sometimes happens and then you both have to decide whether to want it or not."

I disagree with the latter part of that. In reality only one person makes that choice.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Tricky really. Both adults are responsible for the conception, but a woman can have an abortion without the partners permission. It might not have been unwanted by both parties."

I agree with you - it is 50 :50 to an extent but we as women have the choice of having the baby so the "power" in want of a better word is in favour of women. That is where I am coming from when I feel that the repsonsibility is more on my side somehow?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree it seems to be more the womans choice afterwards as its her body but its both parties involved for it to happen in the first place so both responsible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes he is. He doesn't have to carry the baby but he's just as responsible for its creation unless he was tricked in a really despicable way. Even then he should have thought through the other reasons for protecting himself.

With the best will in the world it sometimes happens and then you both have to decide whether to want it or not.

I disagree with the latter part of that. In reality only one person makes that choice."

i agree, personally i think it should come down to the women, its her body and noone has the rights to tell her she should carry a child she does not want, i personally think a child is better aborted that being bought into this world unwanted and unloved

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Tricky really. Both adults are responsible for the conception, but a woman can have an abortion without the partners permission. It might not have been unwanted by both parties.

I agree with you - it is 50 :50 to an extent but we as women have the choice of having the baby so the "power" in want of a better word is in favour of women. That is where I am coming from when I feel that the repsonsibility is more on my side somehow?"

I guess as its our body that has to carry the child for 9 months, with all the risk that entails, it is our choice whether to have it or not. Funnily enough I am pro-abortion and my pregnancy was a mistake, but as soon as I knew, I wanted to keep the child, whereas my ex would have supported me having an abortion. I was lucky I was in a position to have the choice.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Yes he is. He doesn't have to carry the baby but he's just as responsible for its creation unless he was tricked in a really despicable way. Even then he should have thought through the other reasons for protecting himself.

With the best will in the world it sometimes happens and then you both have to decide whether to want it or not.

I disagree with the latter part of that. In reality only one person makes that choice.

i agree, personally i think it should come down to the women, its her body and noone has the rights to tell her she should carry a child she does not want, i personally think a child is better aborted that being bought into this world unwanted and unloved"

I was thinking more the other way around... when the guy has begged and pleaded for her not to go ahead.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well my friend never had chance to think whether it was wanted or not. Things may have been different in the circumstances, but thankfully the father is fully supports her, they have been having an affair for 8 years and basically although not quite an ideal situation the baby will be full of love to it..

Callum wasnt planned as they had told me i couldnt have children, but it was the most wonderful thing when the told me i was pregnant.

But as far as swinging goes i believe it is up to me to take responsibilty for my body and what could possibly happen, yes in theory it is both peoples fault but a man can walk a way and disappear into thin air and the woman cant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was thinking more the other way around... when the guy has begged and pleaded for her not to go ahead."

i just see it as her body. her choice, i know not everyoen will agree with that but i dont think anyone should be forced to have a child they dont want

Spending your life bringing up a child you dont want isnt the same as living without something you've never had

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

most birth control is for women.

thats why its more likely to be the womans fault if she gets pregnant.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Yes he is. He doesn't have to carry the baby but he's just as responsible for its creation unless he was tricked in a really despicable way. Even then he should have thought through the other reasons for protecting himself.

With the best will in the world it sometimes happens and then you both have to decide whether to want it or not.

I disagree with the latter part of that. In reality only one person makes that choice."

Yes, there are men that would like a pregnancy to go ahead and women who abort. There are also women that want the pregnancy to go ahead and the men in question have persuaded them, by whatever means, to abort.

I believe, whenever possible, both should be involved in the decision and take equal responsibility for the conception and the consequences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tricky really. Both adults are responsible for the conception, but a woman can have an abortion without the partners permission. It might not have been unwanted by both parties.

I agree with you - it is 50 :50 to an extent but we as women have the choice of having the baby so the "power" in want of a better word is in favour of women. That is where I am coming from when I feel that the repsonsibility is more on my side somehow?"

i totally agree here..

at the end of the day the man has no say over a termination..

which is why i chose to have my son and his father has disappeared and wants nothing to do with him.. fine cos it was MY choice to have my son and i am happy to stand by son 100% in every respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its joint responsibility,then why dont guys get an option on abortion ????

Not taking sides just never understood the logic.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"I was thinking more the other way around... when the guy has begged and pleaded for her not to go ahead.

i just see it as her body. her choice, i know not everyoen will agree with that but i dont think anyone should be forced to have a child they dont want

Spending your life bringing up a child you dont want isnt the same as living without something you've never had "

I just feel sorry for guys who see the role of being father as a serious responsibility and beg for the woman not to go ahead (because it was a casual thing or a bit of a fling) and she says "fuck you, I'm having it".

Not all guys can just walk away and forget they have a child in the world....... not that some women would let them.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"If its joint responsibility,then why dont guys get an option on abortion ????

Not taking sides just never understood the logic.

"

They do I was told to get rid of it...in the end Mother Nature took care of it. I gave him the choice on what he wanted..,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but if a guy really doesnt want a baby he should take responsibility in ensuring it doesnt happen.. in the words of jezzer.. put somethign on it :D

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

I just feel sorry for guys who see the role of being father as a serious responsibility and beg for the woman not to go ahead (because it was a casual thing or a bit of a fling) and she says "fuck you, I'm having it".

Not all guys can just walk away and forget they have a child in the world....... not that some women would let them."
I do, too - feel sorry for those "fathers" who dont get a say.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible? "

Woman's fault as ultimately she has control.

We take responsibility when playing to protect ourselves but some relinquish that to men...ti their detriment.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"If its joint responsibility,then why dont guys get an option on abortion ????

Not taking sides just never understood the logic.

"

For the same reason women can't force their partners to get a vasectomy. Our body, you see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible? "

It takes 2 to tango so getting pregnant is 50/50 however a man has far less say if it its the woman's choice to carry full term or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys cant demand abortion, but women can.

So the guys has no say in if he become a father or not, if you see my point.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"but if a guy really doesnt want a baby he should take responsibility in ensuring it doesnt happen.. in the words of jezzer.. put somethign on it :D"

Are you suggesting the woman really did want a baby all along because she didn't insist he put something on?

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By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"If its joint responsibility,then why dont guys get an option on abortion ????

Not taking sides just never understood the logic.

For the same reason women can't force their partners to get a vasectomy. Our body, you see."

BZZZZZZZZZZT

your unborn child most certainly is not your body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes birth control does fail, not offen i know but it happens

If people are having sex knowing they arnt using anything then its both their faults, if they believe they are protected and the protection fails then its noones fault

we donrt always have to point fingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"but if a guy really doesnt want a baby he should take responsibility in ensuring it doesnt happen.. in the words of jezzer.. put somethign on it :D"

if he is a sensible chap then he will.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

well... doesn't it kinda take two to make babies.......

both have some responsibility....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"but if a guy really doesnt want a baby he should take responsibility in ensuring it doesnt happen.. in the words of jezzer.. put somethign on it :D

Are you suggesting the woman really did want a baby all along because she didn't insist he put something on?"

no not at all.. just saying a man can take responsilibity for contrecption the same way a female can.. was just trying to humorous with the jezza joke.. *fail*

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Mine was conceived out of a relationship so protection was not used...I do sometimes think I should of been carful but when you have been told time and time again you can't have children you believe it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys cant demand abortion, but women can.

So the guys has no say in if he become a father or not, if you see my point."

no they cant but they can walk away from a pregnancy they dont want, a woman cant do that, unless she aborts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys cant demand abortion, but women can.

So the guys has no say in if he become a father or not, if you see my point.

no they cant but they can walk away from a pregnancy they dont want, a woman cant do that, unless she aborts"

Thats a very valid point. Also one that I have experience of, though not my baby.

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By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"Guys cant demand abortion, but women can.

So the guys has no say in if he become a father or not, if you see my point.

no they cant but they can walk away from a pregnancy they dont want, a woman cant do that, unless she aborts"

as long as you have a hold in your ass, you will never find guy who walked away from a pregnancy they didn't want...

they might not want a baby, or a baby right now, or a baby with her, or a baby right now with her, and THOSE are reasons a guy might walk away

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

read a truly heartbreaking story many years ago when this situation occurred and a couple get pregnant accidentally .. she didnt want it .. he desperately did .. he took her to court to try and prevent the termination and lost his case. Dont think anyone won that day .., truly sad all round

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP   Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Guys cant demand abortion, but women can.

So the guys has no say in if he become a father or not, if you see my point.

no they cant but they can walk away from a pregnancy they dont want, a woman cant do that, unless she aborts

as long as you have a hold in your ass, you will never find guy who walked away from a pregnancy they didn't want...

they might not want a baby, or a baby right now, or a baby with her, or a baby right now with her, and THOSE are reasons a guy might walk away"

you can argue the semantics all you want the fact is still the same....they walk away from a child they helped make

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys cant demand abortion, but women can.

So the guys has no say in if he become a father or not, if you see my point.

no they cant but they can walk away from a pregnancy they dont want, a woman cant do that, unless she aborts

as long as you have a hold in your ass, you will never find guy who walked away from a pregnancy they didn't want...

they might not want a baby, or a baby right now, or a baby with her, or a baby right now with her, and THOSE are reasons a guy might walk away"

are those reasons not wanting a baby then?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"If its joint responsibility,then why dont guys get an option on abortion ????

Not taking sides just never understood the logic.

For the same reason women can't force their partners to get a vasectomy. Our body, you see.

BZZZZZZZZZZT

your unborn child most certainly is not your body."

I wondered when you'd wade in here with your tolerance.

A foetus is not a child. Sorry mate but I am not even remotely religious and will make a decision based on MY health and the future prospects of any pregnancy. At 46 my chances of giving birth without complications that would harm me and the child are very low, and I don't see why some stranger can have any opinion over what decisions I make about MY body.

But I'll let you foam at the mouth a bit more about us uppity females daring to have opinions without your input.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"read a truly heartbreaking story many years ago when this situation occurred and a couple get pregnant accidentally .. she didnt want it .. he desperately did .. he took her to court to try and prevent the termination and lost his case. Dont think anyone won that day .., truly sad all round "
That is really really sad!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If its joint responsibility,then why dont guys get an option on abortion ????

Not taking sides just never understood the logic.

For the same reason women can't force their partners to get a vasectomy. Our body, you see.

BZZZZZZZZZZT

your unborn child most certainly is not your body.

I wondered when you'd wade in here with your tolerance.

A foetus is not a child. Sorry mate but I am not even remotely religious and will make a decision based on MY health and the future prospects of any pregnancy. At 46 my chances of giving birth without complications that would harm me and the child are very low, and I don't see why some stranger can have any opinion over what decisions I make about MY body.

But I'll let you foam at the mouth a bit more about us uppity females daring to have opinions without your input. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"but if a guy really doesnt want a baby he should take responsibility in ensuring it doesnt happen.. in the words of jezzer.. put somethign on it :D

Are you suggesting the woman really did want a baby all along because she didn't insist he put something on?"

Some do after all a woman should know her cycle,her most fertile period and if she is using birth control. If a guy doesn't use a condom then she is rolling a dice with a 6 on 5 sides and likley to roll a 6.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i do think that the only guarentee in not creating a baby is by not having sex.. so everyone should therefore deal with the consequences if they have sex..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys cant demand abortion, but women can.

So the guys has no say in if he become a father or not, if you see my point.

no they cant but they can walk away from a pregnancy they dont want, a woman cant do that, unless she aborts

as long as you have a hold in your ass, you will never find guy who walked away from a pregnancy they didn't want...

they might not want a baby, or a baby right now, or a baby with her, or a baby right now with her, and THOSE are reasons a guy might walk away"

Sorry mate, but not one of the reasons you have listed is grounds for walking away.

If you dont want babies dont play with the girls.

If your big enough to get her pregnant your big enough to raise a child.

Walking away is for those guys that prefer to be just "sperm donors"

Any guy can be a father, but it takes a special guy to be a dad.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

[Removed by poster at 28/02/13 21:54:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have to be honest, if a womans not using birth control and she dont make a guy put a condom on, she knows how babies are made so you have to wonder on her intentions

After all you;d have to be totally thick to be suprised you got pregnant if your having sex with no form of birth control

It still comes down to the guy too tho, if you dont know someone that well why would you take their word for it they are on the pill, cover it up just incase

i think some people live in the mind set...it wont happen to me

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

Sorry mate, but not one of the reasons you have listed is grounds for walking away.

If you dont want babies dont play with the girls.

If your big enough to get her pregnant your big enough to raise a child.

Walking away is for those guys that prefer to be just "sperm donors"

Any guy can be a father, but it takes a special guy to be a dad."
Think you are right there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you dont want to become a father you have many choices.

You can stay celibate.

You can have a wank.

You can practice safer sex. (wear a condom)

What you cant do is fuck anyone you like and walk away with some dumb excuse of

"I aint ready to be a father yet."

CSA should take a more expensive view against guys that walk away, in my opinion.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"have to be honest, if a womans not using birth control and she dont make a guy put a condom on, she knows how babies are made so you have to wonder on her intentions

After all you;d have to be totally thick to be suprised you got pregnant if your having sex with no form of birth control

It still comes down to the guy too tho, if you dont know someone that well why would you take their word for it they are on the pill, cover it up just incase

i think some people live in the mind set...it wont happen to me"

I have conceived when using contraception and when I've not used contraception. For me the outcome was the same but the intention was different in both cases.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I fell pregnant on the pill.

I also know people who have fallen pregnant using the coil and the implant.

My nurse basically told me the depo was the most reliable it practically steralises you while your having it. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I fell pregnant on the pill.

I also know people who have fallen pregnant using the coil and the implant.

My nurse basically told me the depo was the most reliable it practically steralises you while your having it. X"

i'll stay on that then lol

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible? "

According to the law he is, and he would be liable to pay towards the upkeep of the child whether he took an active role in the child's life or not!

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By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"

CSA should take a more expensive view against guys that walk away, in my opinion."

I agree 100%

I also disagree 100% with the taxpayer subsidizing and housing single mums.

both parents should pay, nobody else should.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible?

According to the law he is, and he would be liable to pay towards the upkeep of the child whether he took an active role in the child's life or not!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I also disagree 100% with the taxpayer subsidizing and housing single mums.

both parents should pay, nobody else should."

Not always so black and white mate.

Lost my best mate a few years ago.

Who pays for his wife and 3 kids left behind when he died of cancer at 40.

What about the tough guys that got a women pregnant then vanished without trace, because HE wasnt ready yet.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"

I also disagree 100% with the taxpayer subsidizing and housing single mums.

both parents should pay, nobody else should.

Not always so black and white mate.

Lost my best mate a few years ago.

Who pays for his wife and 3 kids left behind when he died of cancer at 40.

What about the tough guys that got a women pregnant then vanished without trace, because HE wasnt ready yet."

Those cases are somewhat different. If the father can be tracked down, he can be made to pay.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Thing is... it is very difficult to "make" an absent father be a "dad"

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

The more I think about this the more I am inclined to agree that it is more the woman's responsibility than the man's.

Men and women don't get pregnant.... women do.

Men and women don't have a choice to keep it or not.... women do.

A man is no more accountable for not wearing a condom than a woman is for not making sure he does.

A woman is more accountable for saying she is using contaception when she's not been taking it correctly.

Men often get the raw deal in this sort of situation... they are held responsible and yet have no choice in how to correct a mistake.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"

CSA should take a more expensive view against guys that walk away, in my opinion.

I agree 100%

I also disagree 100% with the taxpayer subsidizing and housing single mums.

both parents should pay, nobody else should."

I'm a single mum. But I've worked 80 hour weeks for 15 years in 2 jobs before I went on maternity leave. So I think I paid my way to have a bit of time off with my boy till he gets his free nursery places. Besides If I went back to work now i would have to claim back my childcare which would still come out of people's taxes.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"I fell pregnant on the pill.

I also know people who have fallen pregnant using the coil and the implant.

My nurse basically told me the depo was the most reliable it practically steralises you while your having it. X

i'll stay on that then lol"

Yeah me too!!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"The more I think about this the more I am inclined to agree that it is more the woman's responsibility than the man's.

Men and women don't get pregnant.... women do.

Men and women don't have a choice to keep it or not.... women do.

A man is no more accountable for not wearing a condom than a woman is for not making sure he does.

A woman is more accountable for saying she is using contaception when she's not been taking it correctly.

Men often get the raw deal in this sort of situation... they are held responsible and yet have no choice in how to correct a mistake.

"

They had a choice to have unprotected sex and there is a child involved who had no choices - that is where the law steps in - it is not to protect the adults, it is to protect the child. The child is paramount regardless of what the adults want or do not want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible? "

You're not trying to tell me something are you?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP   Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible?

You're not trying to tell me something are you? "

hahaha dont panic.....i'm not that addicted to the forums that i would use them to tell you something like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The more I think about this the more I am inclined to agree that it is more the woman's responsibility than the man's.

Men and women don't get pregnant.... women do.

Men and women don't have a choice to keep it or not.... women do.

A man is no more accountable for not wearing a condom than a woman is for not making sure he does.

A woman is more accountable for saying she is using contaception when she's not been taking it correctly.

Men often get the raw deal in this sort of situation... they are held responsible and yet have no choice in how to correct a mistake.

"

You really are spot on.

Guys do get the shit end of the stick, when it comes to trying to fix the mess.

That reason alone was enough for me to make sure it was bag before shag.

Women do get to choose on staying pregnant, just glad it isnt a decision I would have to make.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible?

You're not trying to tell me something are you?

hahaha dont panic.....i'm not that addicted to the forums that i would use them to tell you something like this "

Just checking my sweet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I also disagree 100% with the taxpayer subsidizing and housing single mums.

both parents should pay, nobody else should.

Not always so black and white mate.

Lost my best mate a few years ago.

Who pays for his wife and 3 kids left behind when he died of cancer at 40.

What about the tough guys that got a women pregnant then vanished without trace, because HE wasnt ready yet.

Those cases are somewhat different. If the father can be tracked down, he can be made to pay. "

So not true. My ex has paid once. They know where he is but claims poverty. I know how much he gets. But I've had one payment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The more I think about this the more I am inclined to agree that it is more the woman's responsibility than the man's.

Men and women don't get pregnant.... women do.

Men and women don't have a choice to keep it or not.... women do.

A man is no more accountable for not wearing a condom than a woman is for not making sure he does.

A woman is more accountable for saying she is using contaception when she's not been taking it correctly.

Men often get the raw deal in this sort of situation... they are held responsible and yet have no choice in how to correct a mistake.

They had a choice to have unprotected sex and there is a child involved who had no choices - that is where the law steps in - it is not to protect the adults, it is to protect the child. The child is paramount regardless of what the adults want or do not want."

But its not always unprotected sex that leads to pregnancies..

Also a big point on here is if the contraception fails the woman can decide whether to terminate or not.. The male doesn't.. Yet he is accountable for the child even if it had been him that feel pregnant he would of chosen to terminate.

Its a very hard and sensitive debate really..

Whatever the rules were, I don't think they could keep everyone happy

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"The more I think about this the more I am inclined to agree that it is more the woman's responsibility than the man's.

Men and women don't get pregnant.... women do.

Men and women don't have a choice to keep it or not.... women do.

A man is no more accountable for not wearing a condom than a woman is for not making sure he does.

A woman is more accountable for saying she is using contaception when she's not been taking it correctly.

Men often get the raw deal in this sort of situation... they are held responsible and yet have no choice in how to correct a mistake.

They had a choice to have unprotected sex and there is a child involved who had no choices - that is where the law steps in - it is not to protect the adults, it is to protect the child. The child is paramount regardless of what the adults want or do not want.

But its not always unprotected sex that leads to pregnancies..

Also a big point on here is if the contraception fails the woman can decide whether to terminate or not.. The male doesn't.. Yet he is accountable for the child even if it had been him that feel pregnant he would of chosen to terminate.

Its a very hard and sensitive debate really..

Whatever the rules were, I don't think they could keep everyone happy"

They both had sex. They should both know that no contraception is 100% guaranteed. They are both responsible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got pregnant after a condom malfunction. He acts like its nothin to do with him, rarely sees his child and has never paid me a penny in child support altho he works. I think it shud be both our responsiblities

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I also disagree 100% with the taxpayer subsidizing and housing single mums.

both parents should pay, nobody else should.

Not always so black and white mate.

Lost my best mate a few years ago.

Who pays for his wife and 3 kids left behind when he died of cancer at 40.

What about the tough guys that got a women pregnant then vanished without trace, because HE wasnt ready yet.

Those cases are somewhat different. If the father can be tracked down, he can be made to pay.

So not true. My ex has paid once. They know where he is but claims poverty. I know how much he gets. But I've had one payment. "

I thought the minimum they had to pay was £5 a week.. Which can be deducted from their benefits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know guys that cheat the system as well.

Never got any money always skint.

Always in the pub as well, and never paid a penny for any kids.

Some guys give the whole human race a bad name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The more I think about this the more I am inclined to agree that it is more the woman's responsibility than the man's.

Men and women don't get pregnant.... women do.

Men and women don't have a choice to keep it or not.... women do.

A man is no more accountable for not wearing a condom than a woman is for not making sure he does.

A woman is more accountable for saying she is using contaception when she's not been taking it correctly.

Men often get the raw deal in this sort of situation... they are held responsible and yet have no choice in how to correct a mistake.

They had a choice to have unprotected sex and there is a child involved who had no choices - that is where the law steps in - it is not to protect the adults, it is to protect the child. The child is paramount regardless of what the adults want or do not want.

But its not always unprotected sex that leads to pregnancies..

Also a big point on here is if the contraception fails the woman can decide whether to terminate or not.. The male doesn't.. Yet he is accountable for the child even if it had been him that feel pregnant he would of chosen to terminate.

Its a very hard and sensitive debate really..

Whatever the rules were, I don't think they could keep everyone happy

They both had sex. They should both know that no contraception is 100% guaranteed. They are both responsible."

Yh but its only the woman who can make the decision whether to keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy.. As I said if it was the guy who fell pregnant then he may choose to terminate but can't as its the womans choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I thought the minimum they had to pay was £5 a week.. Which can be deducted from their benefits"

He isn't on benefits. He apparently doesn't work either. But gets paid cash in hand by the family business.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

If a man puts a condom on but it fails... does he have the right to refuse his sperm and his DNA being used to give her a baby?...... Nope.

See..... raw deal.... can't win whatever they do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to think that if in that situation both parties could discuss the issue. It is somewhat weighted in favour of the female, as she ultimately has the say whether to terminate or keep the baby.

If both parties have had consenting sex, and used more than one form of contraception, it would signal the intent that reproduction was not intended at the time. In those cases where the female insists on keeping the baby, i do feel it a tad unfair to persue the male for maintenance.

Please note I am not saying I would not be a father to said child, but I coulduunderstand why some wouldn't want to. e

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"The more I think about this the more I am inclined to agree that it is more the woman's responsibility than the man's.

Men and women don't get pregnant.... women do.

Men and women don't have a choice to keep it or not.... women do.

A man is no more accountable for not wearing a condom than a woman is for not making sure he does.

A woman is more accountable for saying she is using contaception when she's not been taking it correctly.

Men often get the raw deal in this sort of situation... they are held responsible and yet have no choice in how to correct a mistake.

They had a choice to have unprotected sex and there is a child involved who had no choices - that is where the law steps in - it is not to protect the adults, it is to protect the child. The child is paramount regardless of what the adults want or do not want.

But its not always unprotected sex that leads to pregnancies..

Also a big point on here is if the contraception fails the woman can decide whether to terminate or not.. The male doesn't.. Yet he is accountable for the child even if it had been him that feel pregnant he would of chosen to terminate.

Its a very hard and sensitive debate really..

Whatever the rules were, I don't think they could keep everyone happy

They both had sex. They should both know that no contraception is 100% guaranteed. They are both responsible.

Yh but its only the woman who can make the decision whether to keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy.. As I said if it was the guy who fell pregnant then he may choose to terminate but can't as its the womans choice"

Erm if the guy could get pregnant then the decision to abort would be his at it would be his body. How would the woman have the choice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know at the end of the day what's important for me is that my son is happy and secure, which he is thanks only to me.. I don't see the need to get into arguments and stress out cos his father doesn't take 50% of responsibility as I don't think that would be good for my son for me to slag of his dad..

We don't need his dad around and can't force him to be a father..

I don't expect anyone to be a new daddy to him either.. Or to bring anymore children into the world and end up making the same errors.. Its all about me and my boy XD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible? "

The woman ultermatly has the responsibility of letting a guy fuck her without contraception! If swinging and taking that kind of risk then they both are to blame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The more I think about this the more I am inclined to agree that it is more the woman's responsibility than the man's.

Men and women don't get pregnant.... women do.

Men and women don't have a choice to keep it or not.... women do.

A man is no more accountable for not wearing a condom than a woman is for not making sure he does.

A woman is more accountable for saying she is using contaception when she's not been taking it correctly.

Men often get the raw deal in this sort of situation... they are held responsible and yet have no choice in how to correct a mistake.

They had a choice to have unprotected sex and there is a child involved who had no choices - that is where the law steps in - it is not to protect the adults, it is to protect the child. The child is paramount regardless of what the adults want or do not want.

But its not always unprotected sex that leads to pregnancies..

Also a big point on here is if the contraception fails the woman can decide whether to terminate or not.. The male doesn't.. Yet he is accountable for the child even if it had been him that feel pregnant he would of chosen to terminate.

Its a very hard and sensitive debate really..

Whatever the rules were, I don't think they could keep everyone happy

They both had sex. They should both know that no contraception is 100% guaranteed. They are both responsible.

Yh but its only the woman who can make the decision whether to keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy.. As I said if it was the guy who fell pregnant then he may choose to terminate but can't as its the womans choice

Erm if the guy could get pregnant then the decision to abort would be his at it would be his body. How would the woman have the choice? "

No sorry I meant that in the man doesn't and can't have the choice as they aren't the ones who get pregnant.. Even if the guys choice would be different to the womans if he was the one who got pregnant.

Sorry I didn't explain that very well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew a women about 15 years ago who said she was not having any children out of wedlock and she was on the pill. She also insisted on her partner wearing condom.

Extreme you might say but guess what she didn't get pregnant.

As for who is responsible we all are anyone who just leaves it to the other person. Should not complain when it goes pear shapped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I think I'm tired..

If a woman wants to keep a baby and a man doesn't.. Its the womans choice cos she gets pregnant.. Yet if it was the man who got pregnant then the choice would be his and he could choose to terminate and not be responsiable.. Yet as it is the womans choice as they are the ones who get pregnant then u can say its unfair on the guy who would have chosen the termination if it had been his body and his choice..

Am I making sense

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

The fact is that it is the woman's body which is the one under the strain of pregnancy.

However, that is regardless to be honest. As I said before, the law is very clear on the subject. It is not about the ADULTS it is about the unborn child. Simple. Both have contributed, like it or not, to the creation of another human being. We can debate about responsibility until we are blue in the face. The fact is that that child will need support. And that should be done by both people who contributed to the creation of that life.

I am aware that this is far from an ideal world. But we are only considering the rights of the adults who have made a choice rightly or wrongly; the child has had no choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I knew a women about 15 years ago who said she was not having any children out of wedlock and she was on the pill. She also insisted on her partner wearing condom.

Extreme you might say but guess what she didn't get pregnant.

As for who is responsible we all are anyone who just leaves it to the other person. Should not complain when it goes pear shapped."

Yh that's what I said with my jezza joke - but u said it better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The fact is that it is the woman's body which is the one under the strain of pregnancy.

However, that is regardless to be honest. As I said before, the law is very clear on the subject. It is not about the ADULTS it is about the unborn child. Simple. Both have contributed, like it or not, to the creation of another human being. We can debate about responsibility until we are blue in the face. The fact is that that child will need support. And that should be done by both people who contributed to the creation of that life.

I am aware that this is far from an ideal world. But we are only considering the rights of the adults who have made a choice rightly or wrongly; the child has had no choice."

I agree totally the child had no choice. But in my situation my sons dad is forced by the csa to make financial contributions but my son is better off without him around! So I am happy to take full responsibility for his welfare and upbringing as I know its best for my son to not have conflict in his life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children don't need both parents, just a stable upbringing..

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I am not saying that both parent should be in the child's life - in fact earlier on I am sure I stated that. However, both parents should shoulder the burden financially. It is in the best interests of the child.

Of course no one should be made to be in the ROLE of a parent if they do not want it - they would not be a good role model. And some children are often better off without one of the parents. But they are also better off if the money is there for them to be fed, housed and clothed decently too.

And for those single parents who say they do feed, clothe and house their children decently on their own - how much better off would that child be with two adults contributing? Perhaps it would pay eventual university fees, or a start up fund for when they left home?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i do think that the only guarentee in not creating a baby is by not having sex.. so everyone should therefore deal with the consequences if they have sex.. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still despair more men haven't cottoned on. Fuck them up the arse and you will find you need a minor miracle to get someone pregnant that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And for those single parents who say they do feed, clothe and house their children decently on their own - how much better off would that child be with two adults contributing? Perhaps it would pay eventual university fees, or a start up fund for when they left home?"

i can only speak for myself but we are much better off since i split with my ex, i have more money than ever now because hes not spending it all, my children get much more now, he never worked while we was together so all him leaving has done is ment i have one less person to keep on my wages, we have split for four years now and hes never paid me a single penny towards the kids

So in my case having two parents was deffo not better for my children

not all two parents familys have two people contributing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I still despair more men haven't cottoned on. Fuck them up the arse and you will find you need a minor miracle to get someone pregnant that way. "

Or... fuck blokes up the arse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I still despair more men haven't cottoned on. Fuck them up the arse and you will find you need a minor miracle to get someone pregnant that way.

Or... fuck blokes up the arse. "

sounds like a plan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I still despair more men haven't cottoned on. Fuck them up the arse and you will find you need a minor miracle to get someone pregnant that way. "

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible? "

In theory yes it is but I see it is MY responsibility as I don't want children, planned or unplanned. I take my own precautions as well as playing safe.

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By *aughty_kittyWoman
over a year ago

finger licking good

i actually feel sorry for men regarding this, if a pregnancy happens and he does not want to be a father did not plan to be one he has no say what so ever if the woman keeps the baby and if he did not want a baby he is left being accused of being a dead beat dad or raising and paying for a kid he did not want.... i think it falls to the woman as she will be the one who will decide what will happen if she will have the baby or not. more often then not the man will have no say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if they both agree to no condom, and have never discussed having a baby, then the women should make sure she is on some kind of birth control. the women is the one who will definitely have a baby, go through pregnancy, massive changes to her body and life, the bloke might never see the girl again and be non the wiser, so much more risk for women, that they should be the ones with more responsibility over it, same goes if its a couple, the female should take responsability what happens to her body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if they both agree to no condom, and have never discussed having a baby, then the women should make sure she is on some kind of birth control. the women is the one who will definitely have a baby, go through pregnancy, massive changes to her body and life, the bloke might never see the girl again and be non the wiser, so much more risk for women, that they should be the ones with more responsibility over it, same goes if its a couple, the female should take responsability what happens to her body. "
Its a nice sentiment but as a bloke don't you want some semblance of control on the number of your offspring? If I have kids I would rather it be if possible in a stable relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if they both agree to no condom, and have never discussed having a baby, then the women should make sure she is on some kind of birth control. the women is the one who will definitely have a baby, go through pregnancy, massive changes to her body and life, the bloke might never see the girl again and be non the wiser, so much more risk for women, that they should be the ones with more responsibility over it, same goes if its a couple, the female should take responsability what happens to her body. Its a nice sentiment but as a bloke don't you want some semblance of control on the number of your offspring? If I have kids I would rather it be if possible in a stable relationship. "

ye i do, but i would wear a condom, I was saying if both partys agree to unprotected sex, then women take more responsibility, as they have the most to lose, even in a stable relationship, as its her body and career thats gonna be more effected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The blame kids with both to conceive but at the end of the day. Its down to the woman/girl that makes the final decision..

Guys believe the girls on the pill and girls believe the guy when he says he'll pull out. Il never understand why ppl don't use condoms. Especially when most can get them free from clinics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lies* not kids!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All this women get to choose to stay being pregnant is making me really angry. I could never have an abortion. If others could then fine, but for women like me once up the duff we have no more choice than the father. But we have to carry the burden for twenty years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"are they always the womens fault?

seems like some views on here suggest that if you have an unwanted pregancy its the womans fault.

surely the man is 50% responsible? "

If you look at the arguments for and against abortion you always find pro-abortionists insisting that a woman has the right to choose whether her body reproduces or not. Conversely, the same applies to getting pregnant. IF a pregnancy is unwanted then it is up to the woman to prevent it happening. How many women would leave contraception purely down to the man?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All this women get to choose to stay being pregnant is making me really angry. I could never have an abortion. If others could then fine, but for women like me once up the duff we have no more choice than the father. But we have to carry the burden for twenty years "

In all fairness, you're hardly likely to get pregnant are you? Your own profile states that you don't do anything with men whatsoever, so it's reasonably safe to assume you don't want his sperm either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well actually im bi but prefer women so yes, and it has happened to me, see my prev post on this forum

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