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What is wrong with me?

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Hi ladies and gents, I need your help… am I the only one who never met anyone in the site… please I would like to know where I go wrong.

Be brutally honest, I can take it and all the feedback are very welcome.

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not easy for any of us on this site. I'd say you're doing the right thing in going to clubs, mingle and get to know people. It's easier than relying on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not easy for any of us on this site. I'd say you're doing the right thing in going to clubs, mingle and get to know people. It's easier than relying on here."

Dunno why that's the case, I'm doing double digits easily daily. It's starting to take its toll now, though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP, many never get to meet here & some are here for years & no private meets.... nothing wrong with their profiles either....high ratio of men is the problem

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By *he ass man 666Man
over a year ago

paradise city

Still early days pal , it takes time finding the right person you connect with. Keep going

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not easy for any of us on this site. I'd say you're doing the right thing in going to clubs, mingle and get to know people. It's easier than relying on here.

Dunno why that's the case, I'm doing double digits easily daily. It's starting to take its toll now, though "

Good for you, enjoy

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

I am glad it’s working out for you, but I would send you a message what would you like to be written? Maybe my approach is wrong or it is the look? I don’t have dick pics on my profile and I just write what I look for. So I don’t know!

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Thanks I am kind of loosing interest in a sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks I am kind of loosing interest in a sense."

If you use the reply+quote button, people will know who you're commenting to

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Thanks, I enjoy the clubs couse the atmosphere is great, get to know people more but again not much success there too.

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall


"

Dunno why that's the case, I'm doing double digits easily daily. It's starting to take its toll now, though "

You'll get around to the OP eventually...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am glad it’s working out for you, but I would send you a message what would you like to be written? Maybe my approach is wrong or it is the look? I don’t have dick pics on my profile and I just write what I look for. So I don’t know!"

Seriously, the message doesn't matter too much. As long as it's a polite introduction and shows you've noticed something about them to distinguish between copy and paste message, that's all that matters.

It's mostly going to be about attraction and availability. You're one of thousands of single men on here, so even if you were their type, they may have prior commitments to others that supercede you. It's going to be difficult for you, no matter what. If you're comfortable with it, maybe continuing to attend clubs and socials will warm people up to taking things further with you.

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

I suppose.

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Thanks I am kind of loosing interest in a sense.

If you use the reply+quote button, people will know who you're commenting to "

Thanks for the info!??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Dunno why that's the case, I'm doing double digits easily daily. It's starting to take its toll now, though

You'll get around to the OP eventually..."

I'm not sure I can handle much more, there has to be a point where enough is enough, surely?

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I am glad it’s working out for you, but I would send you a message what would you like to be written? Maybe my approach is wrong or it is the look? I don’t have dick pics on my profile and I just write what I look for. So I don’t know!

Seriously, the message doesn't matter too much. As long as it's a polite introduction and shows you've noticed something about them to distinguish between copy and paste message, that's all that matters.

It's mostly going to be about attraction and availability. You're one of thousands of single men on here, so even if you were their type, they may have prior commitments to others that supercede you. It's going to be difficult for you, no matter what. If you're comfortable with it, maybe continuing to attend clubs and socials will warm people up to taking things further with you."

Great feedback, never thought that way… thanks??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Dunno why that's the case, I'm doing double digits easily daily. It's starting to take its toll now, though

You'll get around to the OP eventually...

I'm not sure I can handle much more, there has to be a point where enough is enough, surely?"

It's only enough if you feel you've had enough. Otherwise keep on going

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"

Dunno why that's the case, I'm doing double digits easily daily. It's starting to take its toll now, though

You'll get around to the OP eventually..."

I am glad it’s working for you.??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am glad it’s working out for you, but I would send you a message what would you like to be written? Maybe my approach is wrong or it is the look? I don’t have dick pics on my profile and I just write what I look for. So I don’t know!

Seriously, the message doesn't matter too much. As long as it's a polite introduction and shows you've noticed something about them to distinguish between copy and paste message, that's all that matters.

It's mostly going to be about attraction and availability. You're one of thousands of single men on here, so even if you were their type, they may have prior commitments to others that supercede you. It's going to be difficult for you, no matter what. If you're comfortable with it, maybe continuing to attend clubs and socials will warm people up to taking things further with you.

Great feedback, never thought that way… thanks??"

I do hope you don't take the ignoring or rejection personally, as it's very difficult to maintain a decent balance on here. I was joking earlier, however it'd be impossible to meet even a small percentage of the volume of men that message me. It's really hard to keep up, it's not because they're all ugly.

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I am glad it’s working out for you, but I would send you a message what would you like to be written? Maybe my approach is wrong or it is the look? I don’t have dick pics on my profile and I just write what I look for. So I don’t know!

Seriously, the message doesn't matter too much. As long as it's a polite introduction and shows you've noticed something about them to distinguish between copy and paste message, that's all that matters.

It's mostly going to be about attraction and availability. You're one of thousands of single men on here, so even if you were their type, they may have prior commitments to others that supercede you. It's going to be difficult for you, no matter what. If you're comfortable with it, maybe continuing to attend clubs and socials will warm people up to taking things further with you.

Great feedback, never thought that way… thanks??

I do hope you don't take the ignoring or rejection personally, as it's very difficult to maintain a decent balance on here. I was joking earlier, however it'd be impossible to meet even a small percentage of the volume of men that message me. It's really hard to keep up, it's not because they're all ugly."

No I don’t take it personally, i know I am not everyone type and I don’t message many people so I will keep trying, I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile is good, you are meet verified which is a lot more than most single men here, and it’s a good verification. A lot of people don’t meet smokers, know this from personal experience so I defo suggest in advance search click smoker within 10 miles off your location to message for maximum results, with an interest in common. Best of luck OP

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Your profile is good, you are meet verified which is a lot more than most single men here, and it’s a good verification. A lot of people don’t meet smokers, know this from personal experience so I defo suggest in advance search click smoker within 10 miles off your location to message for maximum results, with an interest in common. Best of luck OP"

Thank you, definitely take your feedback on board.??

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

It takes a long time and a bit of luck. I got lucky in my first week being in the right place, right time, messaging the right person, then it was a whole load of nothing for a couple of years.

1) get yourself on webcam in the cam chat rooms, there's plenty going on there you don't see on the rest of the site. Just be 'normal' until you get to know people

2) get yourself to some clubs, even if they're a bit of a mission away and you need to get some accommodation etc. It's by far the best way to meet people and you never know what's going to happen that might pleasantly surprise you.

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"It takes a long time and a bit of luck. I got lucky in my first week being in the right place, right time, messaging the right person, then it was a whole load of nothing for a couple of years.

1) get yourself on webcam in the cam chat rooms, there's plenty going on there you don't see on the rest of the site. Just be 'normal' until you get to know people

2) get yourself to some clubs, even if they're a bit of a mission away and you need to get some accommodation etc. It's by far the best way to meet people and you never know what's going to happen that might pleasantly surprise you. "

Thanks I never thought about webcam… I would probably give it a try.

I am glad it works out for you.??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It takes a long time and a bit of luck. I got lucky in my first week being in the right place, right time, messaging the right person, then it was a whole load of nothing for a couple of years.

1) get yourself on webcam in the cam chat rooms, there's plenty going on there you don't see on the rest of the site. Just be 'normal' until you get to know people

2) get yourself to some clubs, even if they're a bit of a mission away and you need to get some accommodation etc. It's by far the best way to meet people and you never know what's going to happen that might pleasantly surprise you. "

Out of interest, has going on webcam chat led to meets for you or just a different way to socialise online here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t take being on here too seriously.

Use it as a “tool” but not the only method. You say you are a member of a club and that’s more than most men are on here.

See as this place as a meeting of like minded people, if you get on with someone and meet then happy days, if not then don’t over analysis it or it can become a dark place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've literally got a verification by meet on your profile. Within 4 months.

Or do you mean "meat"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You met relatively quickly and thet verification is a good one.

I would carry on with the clubs, the more of a known face you become the easier it is to progress to more.

I prefer clubs to using fab to arrange meets now, the large organised socials are a good way to meet new people also the forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think differently like I do. It’s not you, it’s them!

Op, everyone is somebody’s type but never everybody’s, you just go to take time until you find each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's easy for women to throw the "go to clubs" line. I personally wouldn't!

You need to have zero expectations, this isn't sex to go.

Don't pander to what you think women want, be you.

And don't go after every woman on here, try the ones you actually like. No that isn't the ones with the right hole and a pulse.

And don't be desperate.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Profile is ok though i would explain why you can't accommodate as it screams married. photos are fine you are a handsome guy.

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
over a year ago

London or Bedford


"Hi ladies and gents, I need your help… am I the only one who never met anyone in the site… please I would like to know where I go wrong.

Be brutally honest, I can take it and all the feedback are very welcome.

Thank you."

Just keep trying

Took me a long time to “get the hang of it”.

But y’know what? I STILL don’t have much luck on her, compared to normal dating sites or IRL.

MY ADVICE?

*Only message women when they’re ONLINE. That way you won’t get buried in the mix next time they log back on.

*Work on your ice-breakers

*Stay local

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Profile is ok though i would explain why you can't accommodate as it screams married. photos are fine you are a handsome guy."

I can see what you are saying… I will be able to accommodate as I am moving out within a couple of weeks… my marriage finished very long time ago and we have living separate lives for a while now.

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Hi ladies and gents, I need your help… am I the only one who never met anyone in the site… please I would like to know where I go wrong.

Be brutally honest, I can take it and all the feedback are very welcome.

Thank you.

Just keep trying

Took me a long time to “get the hang of it”.

But y’know what? I STILL don’t have much luck on her, compared to normal dating sites or IRL.

MY ADVICE?

*Only message women when they’re ONLINE. That way you won’t get buried in the mix next time they log back on.

*Work on your ice-breakers

*Stay local"

Thank you, much appreciate it… it makes sense.??

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I think it's easy for women to throw the "go to clubs" line. I personally wouldn't!

You need to have zero expectations, this isn't sex to go.

Don't pander to what you think women want, be you.

Thanks for the advise, this is where I thought I was going wrong… I never approach anyone with the intention of having sex, I would like to know the person first and see if there is attraction… I thought here the main factor was the sex and unfortunately I don’t feel comfortable in talking that way without knowing and getting the vibe from that person

And don't go after every woman on here, try the ones you actually like. No that isn't the ones with the right hole and a pulse.

And don't be desperate.

"

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Think differently like I do. It’s not you, it’s them!

Op, everyone is somebody’s type but never everybody’s, you just go to take time until you find each other. "

I guess you are right.??

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"You met relatively quickly and thet verification is a good one.

I would carry on with the clubs, the more of a known face you become the easier it is to progress to more.

I prefer clubs to using fab to arrange meets now, the large organised socials are a good way to meet new people also the forum. "

Yes I do go to xtasia in West Brom and the crowd is great, lots of fun… but as I say I don’t think about having sex so at the moment I talk to people but they are interested in other things, if you know what I mean!! ??

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Don’t take being on here too seriously.

Use it as a “tool” but not the only method. You say you are a member of a club and that’s more than most men are on here.

See as this place as a meeting of like minded people, if you get on with someone and meet then happy days, if not then don’t over analysis it or it can become a dark place "

That’s a great way of looking at it… ??

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Your profile is ‘nice’ - you seem ‘nice’ - the veri you have describes you as ‘nice’.

Your profile isn’t going to stand out against other profiles - it’s good you’ve got 3 face pics but that’s it - there’s no variety.

People will look at your profile, along with your pics and your messages - so all 3 have to appeal.

K

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

My only advice OP is to have a laugh, make friends, have some banter on the forums and only do what makes you happy

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

Simple and good advice...

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By *ndyromy OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Your profile is ‘nice’ - you seem ‘nice’ - the veri you have describes you as ‘nice’.

Your profile isn’t going to stand out against other profiles - it’s good you’ve got 3 face pics but that’s it - there’s no variety.

People will look at your profile, along with your pics and your messages - so all 3 have to appeal.

K

"

Unfortunately I am not comfortable in posting nudes and I won’t compromise, I don’t like take pictures of myself and this is why I don’t have many!!??

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

It's only been 4 months, what were you expecting?

Only thing that would put me off is that you're a smoker, just going by your profile.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire


"My only advice OP is to have a laugh, make friends, have some banter on the forums and only do what makes you happy "
,,, this

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"Your profile is ‘nice’ - you seem ‘nice’ - the veri you have describes you as ‘nice’.

Your profile isn’t going to stand out against other profiles - it’s good you’ve got 3 face pics but that’s it - there’s no variety.

People will look at your profile, along with your pics and your messages - so all 3 have to appeal.

K

Unfortunately I am not comfortable in posting nudes and I won’t compromise, I don’t like take pictures of myself and this is why I don’t have many!!??"

You don’t have to take nude pics…, half of my pics on here are dressed pics.

You are asking why you aren’t getting anywhere and 3 similar pics isn’t going to help.

If you aren’t prepared to sell yourself online then stick going to clubs as that’ll save you getting nowhere online.

K

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??"

That seems abit aggressive and personal. Dudes only asking a question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??"

Knee deep? That’s some vagina!!!!

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??

That seems abit aggressive and personal. Dudes only asking a question. "

And I answered.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??

Knee deep? That’s some vagina!!!!"

Men always lie about size

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??

That seems abit aggressive and personal. Dudes only asking a question.

And I answered. "

Oh I don't doubt that.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"Hi ladies and gents, I need your help… am I the only one who never met anyone in the site… please I would like to know where I go wrong.

Be brutally honest, I can take it and all the feedback are very welcome.

Thank you."

You attended a club night, hence your verification. Did you play with anyone when there ?

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"Your profile is ‘nice’ - you seem ‘nice’ - the veri you have describes you as ‘nice’.

Your profile isn’t going to stand out against other profiles - it’s good you’ve got 3 face pics but that’s it - there’s no variety.

People will look at your profile, along with your pics and your messages - so all 3 have to appeal.

K

"

I just read that in my head with a Borat voice “ very nice “ is that wrong ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??"

Yeah OP, hoping that one women in four months might be even slightly interested in you is frankly an outrageous entitled expectation.... ridiculous

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??

Yeah OP, hoping that one women in four months might be even slightly interested in you is frankly an outrageous entitled expectation.... ridiculous "

Some men have been here over a year and never had a meet. It's nothing to do with "outrageous entitled expectation" but more to do with reality. The male to female ratio is sky high

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??

Knee deep? That’s some vagina!!!!"

Elbow deep maybe...

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"4 months is no time at all on here...Did you expect to be knee deep in loads of women's vaginas by now OP??

Knee deep? That’s some vagina!!!!

Elbow deep maybe..."

Ouch!!!!

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"

Dunno why that's the case, I'm doing double digits easily daily. It's starting to take its toll now, though

You'll get around to the OP eventually...

I'm not sure I can handle much more, there has to be a point where enough is enough, surely?"
yes........ Now

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"

Out of interest, has going on webcam chat led to meets for you or just a different way to socialise online here?"

Yes and no. Yes, because it helped me get some veris and build up a friends list, which absolutely improved my reply rate when messaging people directly.

But also I've found it generally harder to set up meets in my local area - not just on this site, but also on the dating apps and even out and about trying to befriend new people in pubs or daily life.

Devon can be an oddly cliquey and insular place to live, people seem quite closed off to making new friends - swinging or otherwise, and demographics in my immediate area is heavily skewed towards people either much younger/much older than me.

Once I start casting my net a little wider (Bristol, Wales, SE, London, Midlands, North) then all of a sudden things start to get more promising, but then logistics and distance start to make planning stuff a bit more complex.

What has been best for me overall is joining some off the off-site Telegram, Discord and Kik-based groups set out round certain club events, this allows to get to know people in the weeks running up to a club event and eases the pressure of turning up not knowing anyone and then finding it hard to fit in.

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