FabSwingers.com forum: What makes a great opening message?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey all,

There's a lot of discussion around how disappointing it is to receive a clearly copy-and-paste opening message (particularly from guys, but let's steer clear of that topic for now!) - but I was wondering - what makes for a really great opening message?

What is it that grabs your attention and leads you to check out the profile it was sent from? I have my own ideas, but curious to learn from others experiences!

Look forward to hearing!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

This.

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By *emptress and GentCouple
over a year ago

leeds / London

[Removed by poster at 20/11/23 11:25:19]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

So, in theory, you wouldn't read a message you received, but would skip straight to the profile?

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By *hrimper36Couple
over a year ago

Central France dept 36

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

This^^^^^^

But we reply to all messages in the same vain as the message is sent so a hi gets a hi in return.

A message tells us what you are like so just be you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

So, in theory, you wouldn't read a message you received, but would skip straight to the profile?

Correct for me too.

As for what to put.. Today I was receiving rude vulgar messages after checking profiles. Block Monday as I am not here for rude boys. Those that talk out of arse messages.. Instant block.

I have had long messages that do not inspire, pushy guys and that is not way to behave.

There is one person who wrote to me long messages and we chat normally we are honest. It should feel natural flow of message but depends on how you grab attention to pique interest. Everyone is different

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

A first message for us doesn't need to be any more than a brief introduction, we don't care if its copy and paste. It's what follows that's really important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think the content matters so much. I reply more to utter drivel, it seems.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

As long as the message has my secret phrase ‘ smash me doors in Todge!’ In it - then I will reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A first message for us doesn't need to be any more than a brief introduction, we don't care if its copy and paste. It's what follows that's really important. "

That's an interesting perspective.

My approach has always to be brief but polite - if I reach out it is always because there is something on the recipients profile that I find attractive or interesting.

Completely appreciate that there is no 'magic bullet' which will lead to responses though: Like much of life, that is pretty much a lottery!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha! Exactly what I do. If the basics (pic, wants) pique my interest then I’ll respond

"I don't think the content matters so much. I reply more to utter drivel, it seems."

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

When sending a message, you are directing people to your profile so it’s really important all three things (message, profile wording, pics) are good.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

"When sending a message, you are directing people to your profile so it’s really important all three things (message, profile wording, pics) are good.

I don’t need sending to yours…I’ve been lurking on it for months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being conventionally attractive

Hung

Tall + tattoos + muscles

Appear not insane in your first message. Safety is a big priority and if you sound like your gonna be weird/ unstable it’s gonna put people off

Did I say hung? Prove it with pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same as above I look at profile first.

A message that seems like the sender wants to talk to me as a person rather than a free sex worker gets my attention, especially it's witty.

Some of the shite that gets sent makes you wonder how the human race hasn't died out.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Face pic

Be polite

Prove you've read the profile

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

For me there is no such thing as a great opening message. They are hard to write so I don't expect something amazing in one.

Like others have said I look at profiles before I even look at a message.That is my main decider whether I open a message or not. And I don't get many thanks to filters.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

So, in theory, you wouldn't read a message you received, but would skip straight to the profile?

Absolutely this. If its a poor profile I don't even read the message.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

There is no such thing as a good opening message.

But I think your profile should be key and don’t be generic but be yourself. If the person likes it, they will get back to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I check the profile then will read the message based on the information I have I will decide whether to engage or not .

I usually reply with a no thanks if I'm not interested and something more if I am.

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By *a1970Man
over a year ago

East cork

I find something in the person's profile seems to help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most successful one I've seen is 'is my profile of interest to you'

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"A first message for us doesn't need to be any more than a brief introduction, we don't care if its copy and paste. It's what follows that's really important.

That's an interesting perspective.

My approach has always to be brief but polite - if I reach out it is always because there is something on the recipients profile that I find attractive or interesting.

Completely appreciate that there is no 'magic bullet' which will lead to responses though: Like much of life, that is pretty much a lottery!

Neither of us would approach a stranger when out and about with an interesting and informative speech, we'd say hello and make some small talk.

It is a lottery, you have to be on it to win it and very few get the jackpot

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By *osie89Woman
over a year ago

Anglesey

My interests are on the more niche side, so I appreciate some sort of indication that they’ve read my profile/think we’d be compatible, but generally I check profiles before even opening messages. Just saves time.

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By *hunky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"Hey all,

What is it that grabs your attention and leads you to check out the profile it was sent from? I have my own ideas, but curious to learn from others experiences!

Look forward to hearing!

***

If it comes from a female nearby, then I check out the profile straight away.

Whatever is the message about.

Usually something similar in style to what women complain about getting from guys.

If they are far away, then most likely it's forum related, so not always checking out the profile.

You will never know, anyway.

I'm in ninja mode for awhile already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

So, in theory, you wouldn't read a message you received, but would skip straight to the profile?

That explains a lot. That’s me back to the drawing board.

But, op, I just open every message, the ones I’d reply to are the ones that engage a conversation.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

Look for commonality. Inject a little humour. String words together properly. Give them a hook to get back to you with. Be nice

That's what people tell me anyway

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Hey all,

What is it that grabs your attention and leads you to check out the profile it was sent from? I have my own ideas, but curious to learn from others experiences!

Look forward to hearing!

"
Originality, humour, profile read and included in message, a good package of your own to read etc

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

[Removed by poster at 20/11/23 15:38:12]

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

So, in theory, you wouldn't read a message you received, but would skip straight to the profile?

Absolutely, any red flags and the message is either deleted or ignored.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Something that opens up the conversation. Fantastic *insert body part here* doesn't not inspre.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

So, in theory, you wouldn't read a message you received, but would skip straight to the profile?

This is what we do. I don't even open the message until I've seen the profile. Alice is the same.

But to be honest, I'd say that at least 99% of the opening messages we receive are awful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

So, in theory, you wouldn't read a message you received, but would skip straight to the profile?

This is what we do. I don't even open the message until I've seen the profile. Alice is the same.

But to be honest, I'd say that at least 99% of the opening messages we receive are awful."

So you’d agree, breaking the ice to a stranger on the internet is difficult?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opp sorry wrong person!

Please ignore.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

So, in theory, you wouldn't read a message you received, but would skip straight to the profile?

This is what we do. I don't even open the message until I've seen the profile. Alice is the same.

But to be honest, I'd say that at least 99% of the opening messages we receive are awful.

So you’d agree, breaking the ice to a stranger on the internet is difficult? "

That's not what I wrote.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the horse before the cart.

A good profile makes us open the message not the other way round

So, in theory, you wouldn't read a message you received, but would skip straight to the profile?

This is what we do. I don't even open the message until I've seen the profile. Alice is the same.

But to be honest, I'd say that at least 99% of the opening messages we receive are awful.

So you’d agree, breaking the ice to a stranger on the internet is difficult?

That's not what I wrote."

I know you didn’t, it’s okay. I read into it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As gruff as I come across in my profile I do appreciate good witty banter. Humor is the way to get me though..the darker the better.

I also appreciate a well thought out plan so 'hi I know this nice place that has nice pizza or whatever we could have a slice and chat if you're ever availiable.

I'm a sucker for food or bingo.

I find men go straight to the let's fuck and I'm gonna make you cum ....or I wanna eat your pussy.

I was initially open to outside the box type socials...like a morning beach/ path walk. I almost went to one too but then guys starts saying maybe the path will be dark or lonely so we could find a spot to fuck....I'm like ok well so much for a stroll.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Umm. A genuine interest.

If someone is actually interested in me specifically, it tends to provoke a much more interesting and engaging message that the usual spam that gets sent to every viable orifice in the vicinity

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