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Christmas Dilemma

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By *JB1954 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

I am a widower . So for past few Christ-masses have been on my own . I have a young female friend who I have been seeing for quite a while. I now know her family well now . So recently Christmas has come up. There has been comments about me spending Christmas with her and family. But not a confirmed invite at present.

Now a friend of my late wife phoned and has invited me to go to her house for Christmas dinner. She has other people coming there who I do not know.

I am being honest . Do not want to go to late wife’s friend house . Trouble is how do I tell her not going if I do end up as past few years on my own . She will want a reason .

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I am a widower . So for past few Christ-masses have been on my own . I have a young female friend who I have been seeing for quite a while. I now know her family well now . So recently Christmas has come up. There has been comments about me spending Christmas with her and family. But not a confirmed invite at present.

Now a friend of my late wife phoned and has invited me to go to her house for Christmas dinner. She has other people coming there who I do not know.

I am being honest . Do not want to go to late wife’s friend house . Trouble is how do I tell her not going if I do end up as past few years on my own . She will want a reason . "

Be honest and truthful you owe her nothing and you’ve a new life to build for yourself

Don’t be coerced into it if it’s not what you want

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Thank her for her offer but tell her you’ve been invited to another friends house.

Nothing more, nothing less.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

You have been seeing a woman for quite a while you say. I would assume by now you can comfortably ask her if you are definitely spending Christmas day with her.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Just tell her thank u but u have made other arrangements x

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"Thank her for her offer but tell her you’ve been invited to another friends house.

Nothing more, nothing less."
.

Yep pretty much this.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you don't want to be alone you're going to have to ask your woman friend if the invite is firm, a lot of people assume that if they've included you in their plans it's enough. You can then tell your late wife's friend that you have other plans.

I'm a firm believer in making Christmas as stress free as possible.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"I am a widower . So for past few Christ-masses have been on my own . I have a young female friend who I have been seeing for quite a while. I now know her family well now . So recently Christmas has come up. There has been comments about me spending Christmas with her and family. But not a confirmed invite at present.

Now a friend of my late wife phoned and has invited me to go to her house for Christmas dinner. She has other people coming there who I do not know.

I am being honest . Do not want to go to late wife’s friend house . Trouble is how do I tell her not going if I do end up as past few years on my own . She will want a reason . "

Just tell them you've made other arrangements, if she presses why then decide to tell her or not as it's literally none of her business..

If she cops the ump then move on..

If she's a friend she'll respect your decision..

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford


"Thank her for her offer but tell her you’ve been invited to another friends house.

Nothing more, nothing less."

Exactly this. Thanks for the offer but I have plans. Hope you and the family have an amazing holiday period

Don’t feel pressured into something that would make you feel uncomfortable

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also if you end up alone on the day and she does press you for a reason very politely tell her you feel you'd rather spend the day in quiet contemplation than be among people. She doesn't need to know you mean the people at her house

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By *udding RoseWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there

Just because somebody invites you for Christmas dinner, it doesn't mean you have to go, you're allowed to say sorry but I'm doing something else on Christmas Day! No need to say anything more than that.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Communication is key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Accept both invites, vicar of Dibley style.

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By *JB1954 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading


"I am a widower . So for past few Christ-masses have been on my own . I have a young female friend who I have been seeing for quite a while. I now know her family well now . So recently Christmas has come up. There has been comments about me spending Christmas with her and family. But not a confirmed invite at present.

Now a friend of my late wife phoned and has invited me to go to her house for Christmas dinner. She has other people coming there who I do not know.

I am being honest . Do not want to go to late wife’s friend house . Trouble is how do I tell her not going if I do end up as past few years on my own . She will want a reason . "

Thanks for replies. I have told late wife’s friend that will not be going to her on Christmas day . Due to having invite to female friends house with her family on Christmas day. This I did mention long while back to her. Which is true . Although could only be for afternoon , evening at female friends house .

I am taking out female friend this Friday . Plus also New years eve. Which is her birthday .

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By *udding RoseWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there


"I am a widower . So for past few Christ-masses have been on my own . I have a young female friend who I have been seeing for quite a while. I now know her family well now . So recently Christmas has come up. There has been comments about me spending Christmas with her and family. But not a confirmed invite at present.

Now a friend of my late wife phoned and has invited me to go to her house for Christmas dinner. She has other people coming there who I do not know.

I am being honest . Do not want to go to late wife’s friend house . Trouble is how do I tell her not going if I do end up as past few years on my own . She will want a reason .

Thanks for replies. I have told late wife’s friend that will not be going to her on Christmas day . Due to having invite to female friends house with her family on Christmas day. This I did mention long while back to her. Which is true . Although could only be for afternoon , evening at female friends house .

I am taking out female friend this Friday . Plus also New years eve. Which is her birthday . "

Ah good I'm glad you've come to a decision and you're happy about it!!

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