FabSwingers.com forum: Do you feel guilty spending money on yourself?

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Guess it comes from being piss poor for most of my life, when I have money to spend a little voice is always reminding me of other things that the money could be used for.

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

Absolutely! I go to buy something for myself, put it back and buy the kids something instead

Em x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. It was shit knowing my grandparents struggled, I'm not going to prolong even more suffering willingly. I won't be needlessly frivolous, but I'm not gonna go without and continue the cycle. I don't have kids though, it may be different if I had decided to have them.

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I do but I am getting better at it. Have no problems spending money on kids, family and friends but it feels wrong to spend on me.

I know why I am like that though and I know who's voice is telling me I am bad. So its a work in progress

MrsAbz

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

Nope. Not in the least.

My private island was worth every penny.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Nope, never

I enjoy spoiling myself.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

No one else to spend it on and I work hard for it.

I pay my bills and I’d say I’m generous when it comes to gifts so I see no problem buying things I want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't feel guilty for spending money on myself at all, I think more people should spend money on myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fight it. I buy ridiculous amount of lovely stuff and then feel guilty. But having lovely stuff makes up for it

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

"No one else to spend it on and I work hard for it.

I pay my bills and I’d say I’m generous when it comes to gifts so I see no problem buying things I want. "

This ^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I blew a lot of money on Jo Malone, Chanel and Dior yesterday…. It’s been ages since I spent on myself… so no.. didn’t feel bad at all!

It has to be done and it’s good for the soul..

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By *ir SupremacyMan
over a year ago

Bolton

No because im always working long hours for what I get .

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

I don't feel guilty, but I don't spend much on things for me as I used to. However holidays, little breaks and food, coffee and cake are vices that remain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. But that is mostly because we are trying to save for a house and our wage is very low so a house should really be a priority. But I currently spend like €100 a week on food and clothes and other bits and bobs. I grew up poor too but I am the opposite to you. I love having the money to buy things like coffee and unnecessary shite each week. I actually worry that if we ever land ourselves in a load of money I'll struggle to be sensible because growing up poor all I want to do now is go absolutely nuts and buy everything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a bit. I treat myself all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't spend money on myself apart from essential's but can spend any amount of money on others guilt free.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

No. Happy and healthy means I do my work better.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
over a year ago

London or Bedford

"Guess it comes from being piss poor for most of my life, when I have money to spend a little voice is always reminding me of other things that the money could be used for."

Nah. But I do live in fear of spending my money & treat every penny if it’s my last.

I always worry that I’ll be blindsided by some crisis on an idle Tuesday

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By *hadowtoothMan
over a year ago

Glenrothes

No, don't enjoy it. If I enjoyed it ... then yes.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

No. Not these days. I’ve learned my lesson

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Even when spending money on women, it's actually on myself.

Same, effectively, when spending money on heating because I only do that if women are coming to visit.

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Yes it started when had kids as always thought of can spend money on myself can spend it on the kids instead they far more deserving they 14 and 16 now and it still feel like that

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

Oh yes all the time..happily spend it on the kids,hubby and friends, but feel I really have to justify things for me,so end up either putting them back or just walk away completely..

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By *ackandsashaCouple
over a year ago

West Dublin

Not guilty as such, but don't send a lot on myself generally, but I a consciously trying to. Like yourself, I was very poor growing up, ( Doing a LOT better now thankfully). But as a result, I would never think of grabbing a coffee while out, due to the price. I buy clothes when I need clothes. I recently relaced my going out shoes which were years old. I expect my new pair to last years ( I wear runners everyday).

I am happy to splash out on the wife and kids however,

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

Hell no. I grew up very poor, too. I had like one pair of trousers and two tshirts, and when I grew out of them, my dad shamed me into needing new clothes. "WHAAT 5 EUROS FOR A TSHIRT? DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG SOME PEOPLE WORK FOR THAT KIND OF MONEY?"

Lol

The moment I started earning my own money I spent it ALL on myself all the time. For a while I had a really good business going, making 4 grand a bad month, and I ended up spending 4 grand. I would have no negative impact in my life if I had just saved 1k every month, but I was so selfish and shameless that I spent it all on myself all the time.

There was no guilt or shame, just pure pleasure of being able to do that.

These days I spend all my money on booze, girls and boats. The rest I just waste.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Not as much as I used to but then again I don't do it very often so spread over a long period of time it's never extravagant

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

I feel guilty spending money on yourself, I also feel guilty when others spend money on me.

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By *andy CanesWoman
over a year ago

south

No it mostly for self maintenance so it’s all good

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

No. The kids have flown the roost twenty years ago, and there's just me now. I'd like to die with precisely zero left in the bank account (the kids will still get the house, and in the meantime they all - kids and grandkids - get a decent prezzie every birthday and Christmas). So if I spot a book or CD or bit of electronics kit that I fancy, or I want something nice for dinner once in a while, then I'm bloody well going to have it.

Polly xxx

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By *untimes wantedMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

I watched my dad save and not have holidays /decent cars etc

He ended up wealthy then for the last 6 years of his life all the cash he had could not cure his parkinsons.

The last two years cost him £700 a week for care home fees while 18 other people in the same home got exactly the same care for free.

In one of his lucid times he told me don't be a fool like i was and save it all until its useless to you ,spend it while you can enjoy it.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

I have a list of things im trying to get through to make my house nice. I dont consider it spending money on myself. I need new shoes and a blazer and some other things for myself but i never have the spare cash. My car is falling apart etc... but im spending 6k on getting kitchen and downstairs floor done.

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

"Absolutely! I go to buy something for myself, put it back and buy the kids something instead

Em x"

This 99% of the time.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Less so now than I used to. It's taken me 24 hours to convince myself to buy some new boots that will probably last me five to ten years

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

i have no problem treating myself so new clothes it is,,

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Not really but it's not something I do often. Gym gear is my biggest weakness.

I prefer to spend on others

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"I feel guilty spending money on yourself, I also feel guilty when others spend money on me.

Oh absolutely. Hate it when others buy me stuff. I have a very strong urge to give back then just to get even.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no issues making lots of smaller purchases - but it's rare I'll spend a sizeable amount

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
over a year ago

Leamington Spa

Can't take it with you.. Tomorrow is never promised.. Spend it and have fun

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Guess it comes from being piss poor for most of my life, when I have money to spend a little voice is always reminding me of other things that the money could be used for."

Not anymore. The joy of having no dependants at home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup I used to spend a lot on myself but now every spare penny goes on my child

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guess it comes from being piss poor for most of my life, when I have money to spend a little voice is always reminding me of other things that the money could be used for."

I know that feeling, but if I do spend money on myself it's only after I've made sure that every thing and everyone else is covered

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

No, but I work hard and don’t have kids so maybe easier for me to do so x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I’m usually the block to spending on myself. I did splash out hugely a couple of years back though…..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever since mh led to me giving up work yes I do. I know I spend too much eating out but try to do it cheap and it gets me out of the house. Rarely spend money on other treats

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

I have a job that allows me to save a lot so when i need to buy something i buy it

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

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By *estSussexGuy76Man
over a year ago

copthorne

Sometimes, I feel guilty on some of things I buy with my money but I look at them as investments for my niece and nephews as I do not have kids of my own

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By *ringosampaioMan
over a year ago

London

Never. I grew up poor, and always felt embarrassed having hand-me-downs. No fancy holidays (unless you count spending the summer working on a farm in Ireland), no computer or mobile phone as a teenager at school while all the others had the latest thing etc. Started working from the age of 14 on weekends and after school, then didn't bother with uni.

Everything I have is something I've earned by dragging myself up from dirt, so I'll spend it how I see fit!

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By *ostindreamsMan
over a year ago

London

It's all about planning your finances for long term. I have a proportion of my salary that I would always move towards savings/invest. Rest of the money is fair game. I spend it on whatever I feel like spending for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I do but I'm getting better at telling myself I can spend money on me sometimes. I work hard for it, nothing ridiculous but it's nice to treat oneself on occasion. I always try to find a justification and can feel a little guilty about it though. It's a working progress.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep. I just bought a new pair of trainers, I walked in, grabbed the 1st pair that was my size writhing budget and got to the till. If I soend anymore time than that, I talk myself out of it.

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By *use and wolfCouple
over a year ago

angus

We both feel guilty spending on ourselves too

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"Never. I grew up poor, and always felt embarrassed having hand-me-downs. No fancy holidays (unless you count spending the summer working on a farm in Ireland), no computer or mobile phone as a teenager at school while all the others had the latest thing etc. Started working from the age of 14 on weekends and after school, then didn't bother with uni.

Everything I have is something I've earned by dragging myself up from dirt, so I'll spend it how I see fit!"

I come from the same spot, mate. If you grow up poor and you have nothing, you end up treating yourself well, when you're older and able to. You survived on the bare minimum as a kid, so why continue the trend as an adult?

Unless you need the money for food, rent or transportation - spend it and have fun, if you have a use in mind.

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs "

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor. "

I can relate to mrsC a bit. Growing up as I did makes me know, there are things you want and things you need. There’s a big difference. So when I stand and think long enough, I know I don’t really need many things. So I have to pursuade myself I deserve a treat.

Money isn’t always here for some people, it’s hard to come by.

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By *ohnboy64Man
over a year ago

Blackpool

Definitely, would rather spend my hard earned on someone I care for.

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Not in the slightest. I could die tomorrow and then I'd go to my grave pissed off for not spending everything I had lol

I'll keep back what I need for a rainy day but I'll happily spend the rest, though not all on myself. I do enjoy treating my nearest and dearest easily as much as treating myself.

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By *aughtyhub80Man
over a year ago

Wallasey

Not at all

My kids and family are well looked after

Therefore I treat myself

I work hard and need my treats

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Apart from the basics I rarely spend money on myself. In fact I can't remember the last thing I bought myself that wasn't a nessatry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always used to feel guilty, however I've come to terms with it a little more recently. I've worked hard to get to a point where I can afford the occasional luxury, and I intend to enjoy it

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By *ikebrown2512Man
over a year ago

York

I enjoy giving women the Pretty Woman treatment… as long as I get to sit outside the changing rooms and get to enjoy the show of dresses, heels and handbags!

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

No, mainly because I my see purchases for me as a way of extending my personality into the world.

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

No I work hard for that money

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Used to but not for the last 8 or 9 years. A couple of things dawned on me.

1) the “ future ” I was saving for might not come ( lost some people I cared about) so enjoy life now

2) I have worked very hard to build a career and secure a job that rewards me well. What’s the point of that if I don’t enjoy those rewards.

I know both of those are a bit selfish but sometimes you need to be.

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

Money isn’t always here for some people, it’s hard to come by. "

I think it has to do with insecurities. Like you don't appreciate yourself, you don't think you deserve anything unless needed.

Because I and some others here also grew up without loads of money and we spend money on ourselves because it brings us joy.

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Nope.Its my money.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor. "

Growing up in certain circumstances affects people differently, what they do and I do are two different things.

Mrs

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

All the time. It's why I never book any trips or events early on incase there is something else that needs paying for. It's then usually too late to get tickets etc so I miss out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I, being poor, have only my dreams.

Yes I feel guilty spending on me, but never on others.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Yes much prefer to spend on others. I love shopping but want/need nothing, it’s a curse

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

No I don't feel guilty as I work hard for my money and anything left after meeting obligations is all for me.

I get buyers remorse occasionally though and I truly hate other people spending money on me cos that feels like a frivolous waste

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

Growing up in certain circumstances affects people differently, what they do and I do are two different things.

Mrs "

Exactly the point. The circumstances are not to blame, it's a personality thing.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

Growing up in certain circumstances affects people differently, what they do and I do are two different things.

Mrs

Exactly the point. The circumstances are not to blame, it's a personality thing."

I think growing up poor, you are more creative with things like hobbies, holidays / entertainment , Xmas for kids etc and realise that money isn’t important to happiness.

Also if you make big sacrifices and work extremely hard , when you spend you think very carefully about what it took to make that money and can sometimes stop you spending on yourself

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

Growing up in certain circumstances affects people differently, what they do and I do are two different things.

Mrs

Exactly the point. The circumstances are not to blame, it's a personality thing."

And personality develops through our experiences and circumstances, social environment etc.

I know myself enough to know where what stems from.

Mrs

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

Growing up in certain circumstances affects people differently, what they do and I do are two different things.

Mrs

Exactly the point. The circumstances are not to blame, it's a personality thing.

I think growing up poor, you are more creative with things like hobbies, holidays / entertainment , Xmas for kids etc and realise that money isn’t important to happiness.

Also if you make big sacrifices and work extremely hard , when you spend you think very carefully about what it took to make that money and can sometimes stop you spending on yourself

Totally with you there.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes that's why I joined to find a playmate to spend money on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don't. I've worked damn hard for 34 years so I deserve to buy myself what I fancy, and can afford.

My family are well provided for too so I don't see harm in buying myself what I want. Can't take your money with you.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

Growing up in certain circumstances affects people differently, what they do and I do are two different things.

Mrs

Exactly the point. The circumstances are not to blame, it's a personality thing.

I think growing up poor, you are more creative with things like hobbies, holidays / entertainment , Xmas for kids etc and realise that money isn’t important to happiness.

Also if you make big sacrifices and work extremely hard , when you spend you think very carefully about what it took to make that money and can sometimes stop you spending on yourself

Totally with you there.

Mrs "

You don't seem to understand quite right.

One group of people growing up poor hates spending money on themselves, because they are clinging to money due to their upbringing.

The other group are also people who grew up poor but they now do the opposite, and spend money on themselves whenever they can BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T before.

Do you see now? The same upbringing, yet two completely opposite mentalities. It has nothing to do with how rich or poor your grew up.

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

Otherwise all poor people would have the same mentality about spending money on themselves, but evidently that's not the case. Not at all.

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol/ Daventry

I grew up super poor. I wish I felt guilty spending money on myself. I spend money like water. Having money in the bank makes me feel anxious. Perverse, I am aware. I tip it into my pension and locked away accounts so I can’t spend it and pretend to have a modicum of self-restraint!

Mr. On the other hand is amazing at responsible spending and saving. I’m glad we balance each other out.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

Growing up in certain circumstances affects people differently, what they do and I do are two different things.

Mrs

Exactly the point. The circumstances are not to blame, it's a personality thing.

I think growing up poor, you are more creative with things like hobbies, holidays / entertainment , Xmas for kids etc and realise that money isn’t important to happiness.

Also if you make big sacrifices and work extremely hard , when you spend you think very carefully about what it took to make that money and can sometimes stop you spending on yourself

Totally with you there.

Mrs

You don't seem to understand quite right.

One group of people growing up poor hates spending money on themselves, because they are clinging to money due to their upbringing.

The other group are also people who grew up poor but they now do the opposite, and spend money on themselves whenever they can BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T before.

Do you see now? The same upbringing, yet two completely opposite mentalities. It has nothing to do with how rich or poor your grew up."

How is not spending money on yourself ‘clinging’ to money especially when you enjoy being generous to others and give large amounts of money away ?

It’s understanding that money is a tool to spend wisely and knowing that material things don’t bring you happiness, but is a distraction / mask to unhappiness.

It’s a learned behaviour from growing up having very little and having to be creative and also a reflection on the sacrifices and work taken to go from poor to rich so you invest in people and things that need money rather than yourself which doesn’t need anything

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

Growing up in certain circumstances affects people differently, what they do and I do are two different things.

Mrs

Exactly the point. The circumstances are not to blame, it's a personality thing.

I think growing up poor, you are more creative with things like hobbies, holidays / entertainment , Xmas for kids etc and realise that money isn’t important to happiness.

Also if you make big sacrifices and work extremely hard , when you spend you think very carefully about what it took to make that money and can sometimes stop you spending on yourself

Totally with you there.

Mrs

You don't seem to understand quite right.

One group of people growing up poor hates spending money on themselves, because they are clinging to money due to their upbringing.

The other group are also people who grew up poor but they now do the opposite, and spend money on themselves whenever they can BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T before.

Do you see now? The same upbringing, yet two completely opposite mentalities. It has nothing to do with how rich or poor your grew up."

As patronising as you are, you are still not seeing MY point.....

Yes people in the same circumstances come out on different ends, those same circumstances shape people differently.

We aren't all influenced the same way, some will take X from it and others Y.

Does that mean that it didn't have its effect in be because you say so? Absolutely not.

You can't judge why I do what and what part of my younger life affects me today, but I can.

My experience is my experience and not yours to question.

I don't spend on be BECAUSE I NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO.

Do you see now?

Felt the need to follow your tone shouty capitals and all.

Mrs

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes, I'm a nightmare for it, I actually ordered myself two books this past week, both collectors editions & felt absolutely awful for spending on myself.

I'm trying to get better but growing up poor does have its lasting effects I guess.

Then there's the guilt maybe I could have got the kids something instead although they need nothing.

Mrs

Maybe being poor has nothing to do with it. There are the absolute opposite answers here from people who also grew up poor.

Growing up in certain circumstances affects people differently, what they do and I do are two different things.

Mrs

Exactly the point. The circumstances are not to blame, it's a personality thing.

I think growing up poor, you are more creative with things like hobbies, holidays / entertainment , Xmas for kids etc and realise that money isn’t important to happiness.

Also if you make big sacrifices and work extremely hard , when you spend you think very carefully about what it took to make that money and can sometimes stop you spending on yourself

Totally with you there.

Mrs

You don't seem to understand quite right.

One group of people growing up poor hates spending money on themselves, because they are clinging to money due to their upbringing.

The other group are also people who grew up poor but they now do the opposite, and spend money on themselves whenever they can BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T before.

Do you see now? The same upbringing, yet two completely opposite mentalities. It has nothing to do with how rich or poor your grew up.

How is not spending money on yourself ‘clinging’ to money especially when you enjoy being generous to others and give large amounts of money away ?

It’s understanding that money is a tool to spend wisely and knowing that material things don’t bring you happiness, but is a distraction / mask to unhappiness.

And again absolutely with you here.

I spend on others constantly I love it, I can and I do.

Myself no, I struggle.

Mrs

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Otherwise all poor people would have the same mentality about spending money on themselves, but evidently that's not the case. Not at all."

Absolutely rubbish.

So all rich born people have the same mentality? No because everyone is different.

The past albeit the same affects people differently.

Some rich people hate spending they like to keep their money tight.

Others enjoy the luxuries and spend spend spend.

Just because people have the same circumstances when younger they'll be influenced differently by it because well we are individuals.

That's like saying everyone who experienced trauma basically has the same after affects because they had the same trauma.

Mrs

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