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"What's your view on it? If you're meeting someone specifically for sex, NSA, no emotions or chances of 'i think I LIKE LIKE you's... Is it fine because they're nice and you know you're not at risk? Or is there an acceptable time limit? How does it work with you?!" Klub Insomnia Berlin has a day event called Kutsche which is all about cudderling. | |||
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"Never understood this tbh. I’m happy to have sex with you, but I don’t want to cuddle you because, you know, it’s a bit too intimate. This just makes no sense to me. If I like you enough to have sex with you, then obviously a cuddle is acceptable. " You're in a couple so it may be different but single people, they get feeeeeels don't they? Not me I have no soul but you know, others. | |||
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"Never understood this tbh. I’m happy to have sex with you, but I don’t want to cuddle you because, you know, it’s a bit too intimate. This just makes no sense to me. If I like you enough to have sex with you, then obviously a cuddle is acceptable. You're in a couple so it may be different but single people, they get feeeeeels don't they? Not me I have no soul but you know, others." Perhaps. The emotional boundaries in that sense are very firmly in place for me. But the idea that sex won’t produce feels, but cuddling afterwards might? It still doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Unless the sex is basically a glorified emotionless wank. | |||
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. " Fascinating | |||
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. " An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above ) A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me. | |||
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above ) A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me. " What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries. | |||
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above ) A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me. What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries. " That’s odd/interesting like someone said above. Because if I was was invited into a couples life like that, I’d feel comforted with a hug after rather than feeling like I’m thrown back out into the wild, you know? We are funny creatures aren’t we? | |||
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above ) A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me. What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries. " I get your point but if someone goes to hug you then it is not out of their boundaries so hugging back should be fine. Or am I making it too simple, I love a hug goodbye makes it less robotic and more natural. By the same token if I don’t feel they want it I’m fine with that too. God this is hard work. | |||
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above ) A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me. What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries. That’s odd/interesting like someone said above. Because if I was was invited into a couples life like that, I’d feel comforted with a hug after rather than feeling like I’m thrown back out into the wild, you know? We are funny creatures aren’t we? " We are. I try (although I often fail miserably) to accept that everyone has their 'thing' they don't feel comfortable doing | |||
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"Never understood this tbh. I’m happy to have sex with you, but I don’t want to cuddle you because, you know, it’s a bit too intimate. This just makes no sense to me. If I like you enough to have sex with you, then obviously a cuddle is acceptable. You're in a couple so it may be different but single people, they get feeeeeels don't they? Not me I have no soul but you know, others. Perhaps. The emotional boundaries in that sense are very firmly in place for me. But the idea that sex won’t produce feels, but cuddling afterwards might? It still doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Unless the sex is basically a glorified emotionless wank. " I mean sex can be an animal act yes. I have to get along with the person but I can do that and then just have 'fun sex' with them as I prefer to call it Nothing that might entice a romcom! | |||
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above ) A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me. What sticks in my mind is the embarrassed look in one guy's eyes when I went to hug him as we said goodbye. It must be difficult for a single man joining a couple, you don't want to overstep boundaries. I get your point but if someone goes to hug you then it is not out of their boundaries so hugging back should be fine. Or am I making it too simple, I love a hug goodbye makes it less robotic and more natural. By the same token if I don’t feel they want it I’m fine with that too. God this is hard work. " . I think that the guys we meet are aware of a couple of our limits and are eager not to overstep them. Its very easy to misread situations. I'm not criticising the guys in question. | |||
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"I'm generally not very cuddly outside of a brief hello/goodbye squeeze. I think they're claustrophobic and weird. It's probably an awkward experience for the other person too with me because stiff/awkward/weird. Cuddling isn't really the issue. It's me. I'm the problem" Sound just fine to me | |||
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. " Luckily that's only happened to me on a couple of occasions and I didn't like it at all. The whole meet was very perfunctory, with the guy just wanting to get themselves off. I love to have fun on a meet, not just sexual fun but actual fun. At my age my body let's me down, so I might not be able to hold a certain position like I used to, I may get a cramp or my body may make a variety of unexpected noises. So rather than have an awkward silence I will laugh these things off. Sex for me cannot be a sterile exchange of bodily fluids. If I'm happy enough to bump uglies with someone then I need them to interact with me as if they are happy to see me. Little bit of sexy, funny banter goes a long way. Cuddling between 'rounds" is something I enjoy. I need to feel relaxed and would hate it if the guy was not tactile and just lay there waiting to get his next hard on before jumping on me to perform the mechanics of sex. I know it's not for everyone but I like kissing and to have a little cuddle and a snog at times is wonderful, if he says something, sexy, cheeky all the better. Totally off topic but your bedroom looks huge in your pics and I love your bed/headboard, Mrs x | |||
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" Totally off topic but your bedroom looks huge in your pics and I love your bed/headboard, Mrs x" There's still not enough room for all my clothes... | |||
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" Totally off topic but your bedroom looks huge in your pics and I love your bed/headboard, Mrs x There's still not enough room for all my clothes..." That's what spare bedrooms are for, or naturism, Mrs x | |||
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"When we first started swinging I would go in for a cuddle afterwards without exception the guy would freeze up and become awkward. The same would happen when we came to say goodbye, I expected that since we had just shared a bed they would be happy to embrace but the same awkwardness occurred. I think it had something to do with me being part of a couple, they felt it was too intimate. An embrace is a lot different to a cuddle, Which I imagine is like a spooning or a real holding each other close (please ignore my terrible misspelled/autocorrect post above ) A HUG should be easy, you’ve just had sex, how can you not hug after is beyond me. " A hug should and is definitely fine for us after you’ve had sex with other people it’s the spooning and cuddling I wouldn’t like unless with my husband ofc.. | |||
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