FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Jealousy

Jump to newest
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands

Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?"

I haven't been so am a terrible first reply but I guess it's love trust and understanding and a mutual interest in hot sex with others.

I think you absolutely could but what I do wonder is it then all couples that participate in that lifestyle can entirely separate sex from romance or 'connection' - because I can but find many others when it comes down to it, actually can't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?"

Honestly no I couldn't share a partner, but each to their own

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'm single, if I was part of a couple, I don't think I could ever let the other half and go off and do things on their own.

I'm very much "what's mine, is mine"

Playing as a couple would be ok.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?"

Complete love and trust in each other.

100% transparency.

Always sticking to boundaries unless otherwise discussed .

Lots of talking.

Em x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

I haven't been so am a terrible first reply but I guess it's love trust and understanding and a mutual interest in hot sex with others.

I think you absolutely could but what I do wonder is it then all couples that participate in that lifestyle can entirely separate sex from romance or 'connection' - because I can but find many others when it comes down to it, actually can't."

I've never been in this situation with a partner but I think I'd possibly struggle to separate the emotions involved with sex with a partner

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

As a proper couple with someone I loved not a chance in hell.

As a FWB couple. Yeah

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Jealousy and envy will always have a place, it's presence is not so much healthy but it's not unhealthy, and it is natural. Those feelings are fine to have in moderation and when controlled, it is when they escelate, take over and seep in to actions and consequences of those actions.

I'm at a place currently that I'd not be able to couple and do this. Not that I swing exactly but, share a partner in such ways. Eventually I'd hope to be able to be back there.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouplewithKinks23Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

We keep our communication open and our boundaries firm. Means that we always know where we are. Bit more importantly we came into this together and we do it for us, rather than either one of us pushing the other

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"As a proper couple with someone I loved not a chance in hell.

As a FWB couple. Yeah "

I think this is where I'd be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I used to be here before as a part of a couple. Jealousy wasn’t the biggest issue, at least on my part, the incompatibility was, however.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Complete love and trust in each other.

100% transparency.

Always sticking to boundaries unless otherwise discussed .

Lots of talking.

Em x"

I can’t really add much to this. Stability within your relationship, security in life, a shared history together that trumps everything the future may bring. The fully embraced idea that you are moving through life’s journey side by side. There are all manner of ways to say it… and talking. Lots and lots of talking.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Jealousy and envy will always have a place, it's presence is not so much healthy but it's not unhealthy, and it is natural. Those feelings are fine to have in moderation and when controlled, it is when they escelate, take over and seep in to actions and consequences of those actions.

I'm at a place currently that I'd not be able to couple and do this. Not that I swing exactly but, share a partner in such ways. Eventually I'd hope to be able to be back there."

Is jealousy the word though? I don’t think so. To me it’s the norm. Watching someone you love fucking someone else isn’t the norm to me. I know it happens and I know this is predominantly what this site is about and it’s all good but it’s never something I will get my head around personally.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen


"As a proper couple with someone I loved not a chance in hell.

As a FWB couple. Yeah "

^pretty much this really.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"Jealousy and envy will always have a place, it's presence is not so much healthy but it's not unhealthy, and it is natural. Those feelings are fine to have in moderation and when controlled, it is when they escelate, take over and seep in to actions and consequences of those actions.

I'm at a place currently that I'd not be able to couple and do this. Not that I swing exactly but, share a partner in such ways. Eventually I'd hope to be able to be back there.

Is jealousy the word though? I don’t think so. To me it’s the norm. Watching someone you love fucking someone else isn’t the norm to me. I know it happens and I know this is predominantly what this site is about and it’s all good but it’s never something I will get my head around personally. "

I reckon jealousy may creep in if my partner was enjoying herself more with VWEBully3000

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Jealousy and envy will always have a place, it's presence is not so much healthy but it's not unhealthy, and it is natural. Those feelings are fine to have in moderation and when controlled, it is when they escelate, take over and seep in to actions and consequences of those actions.

I'm at a place currently that I'd not be able to couple and do this. Not that I swing exactly but, share a partner in such ways. Eventually I'd hope to be able to be back there.

Is jealousy the word though? I don’t think so. To me it’s the norm. Watching someone you love fucking someone else isn’t the norm to me. I know it happens and I know this is predominantly what this site is about and it’s all good but it’s never something I will get my head around personally.

I reckon jealousy may creep in if my partner was enjoying herself more with VWEBully3000 "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sername already in useMan
over a year ago

manchester

Like others stated, if it was purely sexual then sure.

As soon as feelings were developed for somebody then nope.

Absolutely no chance, no amount of talking and communication could change that.

But each to their own.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would prefer to meet a couple /one half as there is no absolutely no confusion over feelings / emotions

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I never had a jealous bone in my body

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"Jealousy and envy will always have a place, it's presence is not so much healthy but it's not unhealthy, and it is natural. Those feelings are fine to have in moderation and when controlled, it is when they escelate, take over and seep in to actions and consequences of those actions.

I'm at a place currently that I'd not be able to couple and do this. Not that I swing exactly but, share a partner in such ways. Eventually I'd hope to be able to be back there.

Is jealousy the word though? I don’t think so. To me it’s the norm. Watching someone you love fucking someone else isn’t the norm to me. I know it happens and I know this is predominantly what this site is about and it’s all good but it’s never something I will get my head around personally.

I reckon jealousy may creep in if my partner was enjoying herself more with VWEBully3000 "

Ah but is it enjoying more or enjoying in a different way? Maybe she is enjoying that dude, but she still very much prefers what you bring. Sometimes, as is said on here often, the fantasy is just that - a quick fuck with some VWE dude every now and again, not as a favoured thing but as a treat, a fantasy, just something different. In those cases surely the jealousy an envy is on the other dudes side, this amazing woman only wants to get with him now and again while the rest of the time she much prefers you.

Obviously it's much more complex than that, breaking it down and viewing it as basic and black and white as I put it is disrespectful to the couple and the other guy, but as an exaggerated example it gets the point out well.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

interesting how sex can be a fun but ultimately meaningless activity, no connection, no romance, just a bit of spark is all that’s required. And yet, those same thoughts don’t apply if the person having this unconnected meaningless sex is suddenly your partner. If you can both do it when you’re single, why can’t it be done when you’re together?Genuinely curious.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"interesting how sex can be a fun but ultimately meaningless activity, no connection, no romance, just a bit of spark is all that’s required. And yet, those same thoughts don’t apply if the person having this unconnected meaningless sex is suddenly your partner. If you can both do it when you’re single, why can’t it be done when you’re together?Genuinely curious. "

Because some people are truly monogamous and cannot move past the idea of sharing their body with someone else when fully committed. It's two separate beasts.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

I was in a situation where an ex brought the subject up where he wanted to see Me with another woman.It then moved on to seeing Me with another man.It never got to the swap fantasy.

Soft play with others while he watched.Then pow someone said the L word and he became the green eyed monster and we broke up.This was over 25 years ago.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t get jealous as my husband only plays with me, but on his part he says that yes he does get a bit jealous but it a very turned on jealous way if you know what I mean.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ravelling_WilburyMan
over a year ago

Beverley

Not many swingers in this thread!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"I don’t get jealous as my husband only plays with me, but on his part he says that yes he does get a bit jealous but it a very turned on jealous way if you know what I mean. "

I don't, but good on him. If this dynamic works for you both then that's brilliant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"Not many swingers in this thread! "

Too busy shagging

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t get jealous as my husband only plays with me, but on his part he says that yes he does get a bit jealous but it a very turned on jealous way if you know what I mean.

I don't, but good on him. If this dynamic works for you both then that's brilliant "

Yeah it’s only fun if we are both enjoying it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"interesting how sex can be a fun but ultimately meaningless activity, no connection, no romance, just a bit of spark is all that’s required. And yet, those same thoughts don’t apply if the person having this unconnected meaningless sex is suddenly your partner. If you can both do it when you’re single, why can’t it be done when you’re together?Genuinely curious.

Because some people are truly monogamous and cannot move past the idea of sharing their body with someone else when fully committed. It's two separate beasts."

As a society we are mostly socially conditioned to be monogamous and judged accordingly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not many swingers in this thread! "

Are you one?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"I don’t get jealous as my husband only plays with me, but on his part he says that yes he does get a bit jealous but it a very turned on jealous way if you know what I mean.

I don't, but good on him. If this dynamic works for you both then that's brilliant

Yeah it’s only fun if we are both enjoying it "

May I ask why he doesn't want to play with others too?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

My wife and I only do stuff separately, although she’s the only one actively doing so at the moment.

As long as she’s safe and happy doing so,

I don’t mind what she does or with whom (within our established boundaries, e.g. no mutual friends, etc)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I've never felt jealous, even when my partner has his own meets, I enjoy hearing more about them.

When we've met other couples I love watching him with the woman of the couple.

I can separate love and sex quite easily.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t get jealous as my husband only plays with me, but on his part he says that yes he does get a bit jealous but it a very turned on jealous way if you know what I mean.

I don't, but good on him. If this dynamic works for you both then that's brilliant

Yeah it’s only fun if we are both enjoying it

May I ask why he doesn't want to play with others too?"

It’s just not his thing he doesn’t get anything from it. Like everyone on here everyone has their own things they like

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I couldn't do meets alone or separate I think that would be too much for me personally.

Otherwise it's all about communication & trust, seeing your significant other enjoying themselves in ways you can't see alone is hot!

Jealousy hasn't really come into it much, if I had a niggle or something bothered me that's where good communication comes to play.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’ve been in a few swingle couples & can actually get quite jealous if I think too deep & have feelings for someone !

For me it was indifference. I never got off on it, i just loved sex & having lots of sex with other peoples partners. So I accepted it came at a price !

If ever I got jealous I would remember that what I get from my partner is far more than sex and many things no one else ever gets.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Avi doesn’t share food.

Read in the “Joey doesn’t share food” tone from friends.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never be in a relationship.

But guys I meet, I find it kinda hot they meet others tbh.

It's good to share!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"I'd never be in a relationship.

But guys I meet, I find it kinda hot they meet others tbh.

It's good to share!"

I'd never be in a relationship full stop or I'd never swing in a relationship?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd never be in a relationship.

But guys I meet, I find it kinda hot they meet others tbh.

It's good to share!

I'd never be in a relationship full stop or I'd never swing in a relationship?"

If there's any form of commitment, I'm out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ts just a bit of funMan
over a year ago

Surrey

I got a bit jealous once when a guy got too cocky and crossed a boundary that we discussed. Was a bit of a set back for us at the time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"I'd never be in a relationship.

But guys I meet, I find it kinda hot they meet others tbh.

It's good to share!

I'd never be in a relationship full stop or I'd never swing in a relationship?

If there's any form of commitment, I'm out."

Whatever works best for you Rav. As long as you're happy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd never be in a relationship.

But guys I meet, I find it kinda hot they meet others tbh.

It's good to share!

I'd never be in a relationship full stop or I'd never swing in a relationship?

If there's any form of commitment, I'm out.

Whatever works best for you Rav. As long as you're happy"

I will be when you send me penis

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I'm happily poly. Sometimes I get a little bit of that fear of missing out type of jealousy when they're doing something fun with someone else that I'd like to be involved in, but mostly I'm just happy to know they're happy and fulfilled when I'm not around

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I think it's inevitable your relationship will be tested by opening it up to include others, wherever you draw your boundaries as a couple. The question is whether you are able to communicate openly and honestly, and accept that sometimes you'll get things wrong along the way. Trying to keep emotions out of things is a fruitless exercise, I find - that goes for the whole of life - but working through those emotions together is critical for a swinging couple.

So often people focus on the potential pitfalls of being in a swinging couple. There are some many joys. Seeing your partner enjoying themselves, having new experiences, embracing their sexuality - it's delightful.

Mrs TMN x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"I'm happily poly. Sometimes I get a little bit of that fear of missing out type of jealousy when they're doing something fun with someone else that I'd like to be involved in, but mostly I'm just happy to know they're happy and fulfilled when I'm not around "

I think the fear of missing out jealous is the kind of Jealous that works. Compared to the needy, possessive kind - saying that, in the right context even that hint of possessiveness can be hot. Definitely not bunny boiler levels - maybe possessiveness is not the right word as its much less about the word and much more about the vibe and the feel.

Note! I said in the right context, and NOT that I support the implication of being owned, or as a possession or anything related to that.

I know what you lot are like, jump on the slightest wording mistake and run with it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"I think the fear of missing out jealous is the kind of Jealous that works. Compared to the needy, possessive kind - saying that, in the right context even that hint of possessiveness can be hot. Definitely not bunny boiler levels - maybe possessiveness is not the right word as its much less about the word and much more about the vibe and the feel.

Note! I said in the right context, and NOT that I support the implication of being owned, or as a possession or anything related to that.

I know what you lot are like, jump on the slightest wording mistake and run with it! "

No, I get what you're saying. There's certain circumstances where that little spike of 'but I can do that' and the almost spiteful joy in proving how well you can do so is exhilarating. I also like the way that sometimes certain marks from one encourages the other to make sure they leave their own too. I also love that they'll try not to ruin the other's 'artwork.'

Not about possession or owning, but just a little competitive streak kicking in. Never to be outright better than the other though, just proving not to be lesser.

I don't think I've worded that even remotely right. But fuck it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Complete love and trust in each other.

100% transparency.

Always sticking to boundaries unless otherwise discussed .

Lots of talking.

Em x"

This to a T

And also when we want to take a break or stop completely, we both agree and do so.

Miss S x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on both sides and this only works for couples who are strong. When your relationship is lacking in something, that's when the negative side appears through emotions such as jealousy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"I think the fear of missing out jealous is the kind of Jealous that works. Compared to the needy, possessive kind - saying that, in the right context even that hint of possessiveness can be hot. Definitely not bunny boiler levels - maybe possessiveness is not the right word as its much less about the word and much more about the vibe and the feel.

Note! I said in the right context, and NOT that I support the implication of being owned, or as a possession or anything related to that.

I know what you lot are like, jump on the slightest wording mistake and run with it!

No, I get what you're saying. There's certain circumstances where that little spike of 'but I can do that' and the almost spiteful joy in proving how well you can do so is exhilarating. I also like the way that sometimes certain marks from one encourages the other to make sure they leave their own too. I also love that they'll try not to ruin the other's 'artwork.'

Not about possession or owning, but just a little competitive streak kicking in. Never to be outright better than the other though, just proving not to be lesser.

I don't think I've worded that even remotely right. But fuck it."

I think we both may have worded it in ways that don't do it justice but we are on the same page. I get you yeah

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heBlowinsCouple
over a year ago

West Cork


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Complete love and trust in each other.

100% transparency.

Always sticking to boundaries unless otherwise discussed .

Lots of talking.

Em x"

100% exactly the same for us..

We own each other completely - someone else's body parts aren't going to break us apart

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I’ve not been in the situation to say for sure so I don’t know if I would or not.

Certainly if I met someone who was interested, I’d give it a try together. As long as everyone is honest about what they’re confortable with and the communication is good.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Every couple is different and every couples dynamics are different but I think one of the main things is definitely good and clear communication.

I know it’s hard for some single people to get their head around the lifestyle and even tho we’ve been involved in the lifestyle for over 20 years their are still certain dynamics that I can’t get my head around.

I don’t think theirs anything wrong in having a slight twinge of jealousy it’s what you do about it when it happens that matters.We have never had any issues with separating sex and emotions it’s really not that hard .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We honestly both didn’t know how we’d feel watching each other with others until we faced that situation.

Thankfully we both very much enjoyed it.

Jealousy doesn’t come into it for us - we have something between us that we’ve developed over time, love, respect - plus we have already proved ourselves to be the best sexual partners for each other.

I want C to have the best orgasms possible with the hottest guys with bigger cocks, if she wants - I know I’m helping with the heat in the room and getting C worked up too so it’s a combination of everything. It’s the same for C, she loves seeing me enjoy myself too.

Then afterwards when it’s just the two of us and we reconnect - we feel closer than ever.

It works perfectly for us

K

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I think it's inevitable your relationship will be tested by opening it up to include others, wherever you draw your boundaries as a couple. The question is whether you are able to communicate openly and honestly, and accept that sometimes you'll get things wrong along the way. Trying to keep emotions out of things is a fruitless exercise, I find - that goes for the whole of life - but working through those emotions together is critical for a swinging couple.

So often people focus on the potential pitfalls of being in a swinging couple. There are some many joys. Seeing your partner enjoying themselves, having new experiences, embracing their sexuality - it's delightful.

Mrs TMN x"

It's this for me. I fully expected to be more jealous and instead I find it so very hot.

It's good to talk about these things on here, but weirdly given previous replies I feel slightly judged for being able to share. Not what you'd expect on this site.

J

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"I think it's inevitable your relationship will be tested by opening it up to include others, wherever you draw your boundaries as a couple. The question is whether you are able to communicate openly and honestly, and accept that sometimes you'll get things wrong along the way. Trying to keep emotions out of things is a fruitless exercise, I find - that goes for the whole of life - but working through those emotions together is critical for a swinging couple.

So often people focus on the potential pitfalls of being in a swinging couple. There are some many joys. Seeing your partner enjoying themselves, having new experiences, embracing their sexuality - it's delightful.

Mrs TMN x

It's this for me. I fully expected to be more jealous and instead I find it so very hot.

It's good to talk about these things on here, but weirdly given previous replies I feel slightly judged for being able to share. Not what you'd expect on this site.

J"

No judgement from me, you kinky bitch!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *et and WillingCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Weve been together 32 yrs , swinginging for 7. We both know what we want out of it , ive never had any issues with being jealous watching him with other women.

Mrs W&W x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's inevitable your relationship will be tested by opening it up to include others, wherever you draw your boundaries as a couple. The question is whether you are able to communicate openly and honestly, and accept that sometimes you'll get things wrong along the way. Trying to keep emotions out of things is a fruitless exercise, I find - that goes for the whole of life - but working through those emotions together is critical for a swinging couple.

So often people focus on the potential pitfalls of being in a swinging couple. There are some many joys. Seeing your partner enjoying themselves, having new experiences, embracing their sexuality - it's delightful.

Mrs TMN x

It's this for me. I fully expected to be more jealous and instead I find it so very hot.

It's good to talk about these things on here, but weirdly given previous replies I feel slightly judged for being able to share. Not what you'd expect on this site.

J"

I can understand this as we have been judged because I don’t lol. Doesn’t matter what others think, if you’re both happy who cares

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"

It's this for me. I fully expected to be more jealous and instead I find it so very hot.

It's good to talk about these things on here, but weirdly given previous replies I feel slightly judged for being able to share. Not what you'd expect on this site.

J

No judgement from me, you kinky bitch!"

Thank you There's a definite undercurrent of if you really love someone then how could you possibly share them?

J

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entlemenpipMan
over a year ago

not far


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?"

Everyone has there own ways of combating the green eyed monster in the past I've been part of dynamics where outside play was to do things we couldn't with each other. And other times I have been in a situation where we all share what and who we are doing

In the long run only you and your partners can decide what works best for for you COMMUNICATION is key

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"

It's this for me. I fully expected to be more jealous and instead I find it so very hot.

It's good to talk about these things on here, but weirdly given previous replies I feel slightly judged for being able to share. Not what you'd expect on this site.

J

No judgement from me, you kinky bitch!

Thank you There's a definite undercurrent of if you really love someone then how could you possibly share them?

J"

I guess everyone is different. Some seem to be able to separate the emotions from sex and see it as just added fun and some struggle.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I may do if i felt totally secure with my partner and we had very good and very open communication. But honestly until i have been in that situation i can't say how i would respond. In an fwb situation i have no problems.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"

It's this for me. I fully expected to be more jealous and instead I find it so very hot.

It's good to talk about these things on here, but weirdly given previous replies I feel slightly judged for being able to share. Not what you'd expect on this site.

J

No judgement from me, you kinky bitch!

Thank you There's a definite undercurrent of if you really love someone then how could you possibly share them?

J"

That’s how I feel though personally. I couldn’t do it. Others can and that’s great for them. Doesn’t mean it’s judging. It’s a different view. I couldn’t care less what people think about what I do or don’t do. Nobody should. Just do you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Well I'm jealous of anyone who has a bigger Wang than me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Not a couple that swung no. I don’t like to share the men in my life.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ycanNightsMan
over a year ago

Workington

Pangs of jealousy...sure it happens sometimes, I'm not totally immune.

It's about how you deal with it. Fundamentally for me it's how about knowing your relative importance to each other and taking some joy in their happiness when your not there.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I started off here with a partner. In the end i just couldn't separate love and sex. Couldn't get my head around it. Never will. So have tried it and not for me. Couldn't separate love and emotions from sex, as the two to me sort of go hand in hand.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"

It's this for me. I fully expected to be more jealous and instead I find it so very hot.

It's good to talk about these things on here, but weirdly given previous replies I feel slightly judged for being able to share. Not what you'd expect on this site.

J

No judgement from me, you kinky bitch!

Thank you There's a definite undercurrent of if you really love someone then how could you possibly share them?

J"

Fuck that shit. Fuck it right in the ass with a strapon

When I first discovered the forums I was wildly excited at discussing this side of me freely and with others who got it. I overshared everywhere! Over time I started to pull back and went through a period of being much more guarded, having realised fab wasn't the liberal utopia I fondly imagined Now I'm into my not giving a fuck phase. I'm fully aware there are many people on here who don't do fab like we do. But we're happy, we're not hurting anyone, and it still is a joy to be able to share and discuss with others who are on your wavelength. Something for everyone

Mrs TMN x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inx and NymphCouple
over a year ago

bristol

Does it make a difference to whether you’re sharing with a man or a women , does that change the level of jealousy ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I've been in open sharing relationships since I was 18, I've always known I was poly and had Compersion for my loved ones. I happily share and am happily shared, but I am cautious around guys with existing fwb, as I know their partners can see things differently and create drama over them meeting others

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anJenny 181Couple
over a year ago

Preston

We are that proper couple & have full trust in each other.

We have the same key code on our phones etc so no hiden secrets

I know I make love to her well but I get pleasure from seeing her with bigger or better lovers in the sack

I want her to have great sex with great guys the same as I want her to have great clothes or jewelry

I know she loves me & it seems to bring us closer together after meeting other blokes so why not let her have a great time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

We met through swinging, didn't start as vanilla, so we know where we came from and what we did.

Means no surprises, no worrying if the other half is more into it.

We do have guidelines on things we like to keep for ourselves and when we can loosen those with permission.

Ultimately we trust each other with our lives, so that you can trust us with your partners.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are a proper couple and I don't think either of us get jealous.

We discuss and communicate boundaries on a regular basis.

We don't play separately (and never will).

We make a lot of effort on us time too.

We're just a couple of horny fuckers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irtyKittenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Not sure it's a jealous feeling but whenever K has had sex with someone else it just makes me want to fuck her really hard, she says it feels really nice the way we have sex every time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else


"I'm single, if I was part of a couple, I don't think I could ever let the other half and go off and do things on their own.

I'm very much "what's mine, is mine"

Playing as a couple would be ok."

Same.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was a fairly jealous guy when I was younger, something changed tho, I'm not at all now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irtyKittenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

To be honest if a couple gets jealous they shouldn't really be swinging as it can get really mess.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I'd get absolutely nothing from watching a partner with another woman, so I couldn't do that as a couple.

I have no issue if the partner enjoyed me being with another man, so that would work

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

As someone who had a pretty big jealousy hiccup just a few days ago I don't think it can be avoided. Sometimes it just happens if the situation isn't quite right.

It happened even though I love and trust my husband, and love watching him with other women.

I'm still embarrassed about it but hey ho. Onwards and upwards.

K

K

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Apparently I quite like knowing men I love are enjoying sex with other people, so yes, I think I would be fine as part of a couple

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We've never had any jealousy issues.

It's just sex and we enjoy watching each other enjoy themselves. Including with other people.

I suppose we can separate physical sex from the love we have for each other... I don't know but it works for us.

Nita

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I love to share

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)


"Not many swingers in this thread! "

Not sure there's that many on Fab if truth be told.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"As someone who had a pretty big jealousy hiccup just a few days ago I don't think it can be avoided. Sometimes it just happens if the situation isn't quite right.

It happened even though I love and trust my husband, and love watching him with other women.

I'm still embarrassed about it but hey ho. Onwards and upwards.

K

K"

See, to me that's nothing to be embarrassed about - sometimes things just aren't right for you. Being able to talk it through and stay strong as a couple is the important bit. And you guys are

Mrs TMN x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

To me, it's just a pleasurable physical activity, no different to playing tennis (game of mixed doubles anyone?) ...our emotions are for each other.

Communication, trust, openness, and some more communication are essential.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope I can't do it. Tried it and hated it. When feelings are involved, when you are in love with someone and they return that feeling yet play with others that they also have feelings for.... Nope I doesn't make sense in my head.. Friends with benefits, yep I could do that, have other liaisons, definitely. As long as everybody knows where they are. When your trying to find out if something is a little more than fwb, I would find it uncomfortable playing elsewhere too.

However, with all, communication, managing expectations, making sure everyone understands where they are (that is that each individual understands their place, but also understand their place in relation to each other is soooo important as if not it can make people feel inferior or others superior when maybe they really aren't) and pure transparency.

That's my two pennyworth (shrug)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Honestly no I couldn't share a partner, but each to their own "

But ok to have sex with someone else's partner

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd he happy to share my other half. Think it's really hot. I would imagine that the jealousy would add to the excitement.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"As someone who had a pretty big jealousy hiccup just a few days ago I don't think it can be avoided. Sometimes it just happens if the situation isn't quite right.

It happened even though I love and trust my husband, and love watching him with other women.

I'm still embarrassed about it but hey ho. Onwards and upwards.

K

K

See, to me that's nothing to be embarrassed about - sometimes things just aren't right for you. Being able to talk it through and stay strong as a couple is the important bit. And you guys are

Mrs TMN x"

Aww thank you and so are yourselves

I'm embarrassed because I almost ruined a friendship. Things turned out great in the end all thanks to the person I was jealous of. They understood my worries and explained some things to me, and it's all good again. Maybe even better than it was before

K

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
over a year ago

Stoke

We're not jealous of each other, simple as that!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"As someone who had a pretty big jealousy hiccup just a few days ago I don't think it can be avoided. Sometimes it just happens if the situation isn't quite right.

It happened even though I love and trust my husband, and love watching him with other women.

I'm still embarrassed about it but hey ho. Onwards and upwards.

K

K

See, to me that's nothing to be embarrassed about - sometimes things just aren't right for you. Being able to talk it through and stay strong as a couple is the important bit. And you guys are

Mrs TMN x

Aww thank you and so are yourselves

I'm embarrassed because I almost ruined a friendship. Things turned out great in the end all thanks to the person I was jealous of. They understood my worries and explained some things to me, and it's all good again. Maybe even better than it was before

K"

Sounds like winning all round x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *umbriaman1962Man
over a year ago

outside of penrith

I used to swing with ex wife on here on own now. I never once had a jealous thought about her having sex anyone else either me watching joining in or me going in other room letting them enjoy them selves. Or odd vanilla night out girls she came home said someone tried chatting her up had dance and a snog. I away have loved her or partners since telling about past lovers.

Only time with ex every jealous was we had some family friends camping at our house she never came to bed till 6 in morning sat up talking all night one man. There was something about how she was with him . She not slept with him but I just new there was something year later we split she now married to him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urganguyMan
over a year ago

around


"As a proper couple with someone I loved not a chance in hell.

As a FWB couple. Yeah

I think this is where I'd be "

My FB and I would also fall into this reply

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jealousy is a wasted emotion if you both agreed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilks xXxWoman
over a year ago

East Mids

I’ve been here as part of a fwb couple before, twice, and as a couple once …. and tbh I can’t do it ….. either way. I don’t want to share something I feel is really good …. And in a couple, I don’t want them to want to share me !

Can’t help it ….. can’t deal with it.

I think the only way it might be better is if it was a long term relationship and it was solid and the trust and respect was mountainously high ….

So, I’m only here while I’m single ……

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

I work on the basis that I own nobody, nor they me. Neither of us are chattels. We do not "cage" each other.

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM), and subset ethical non-monogamy (ENM). Openness and 100% transparency.

I come home to our bed because it's where I chose to be, and with whom I chose to be with.

It would be arrogant for me to believe I give her everything and likewise in return. We know and understand our limitations. We know how to overcome those.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work on the basis that I own nobody, nor they me. Neither of us are chattels. We do not "cage" each other.

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM), and subset ethical non-monogamy (ENM). Openness and 100% transparency.

I come home to our bed because it's where I chose to be, and with whom I chose to be with.

It would be arrogant for me to believe I give her everything and likewise in return. We know and understand our limitations. We know how to overcome those."

You live to be understanding to one another. No barriers.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As someone who had a pretty big jealousy hiccup just a few days ago I don't think it can be avoided. Sometimes it just happens if the situation isn't quite right.

It happened even though I love and trust my husband, and love watching him with other women.

I'm still embarrassed about it but hey ho. Onwards and upwards.

K

K

See, to me that's nothing to be embarrassed about - sometimes things just aren't right for you. Being able to talk it through and stay strong as a couple is the important bit. And you guys are

Mrs TMN x

Aww thank you and so are yourselves

I'm embarrassed because I almost ruined a friendship. Things turned out great in the end all thanks to the person I was jealous of. They understood my worries and explained some things to me, and it's all good again. Maybe even better than it was before

K"

Trust your gut.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"As someone who had a pretty big jealousy hiccup just a few days ago I don't think it can be avoided. Sometimes it just happens if the situation isn't quite right.

It happened even though I love and trust my husband, and love watching him with other women.

I'm still embarrassed about it but hey ho. Onwards and upwards.

K

K

See, to me that's nothing to be embarrassed about - sometimes things just aren't right for you. Being able to talk it through and stay strong as a couple is the important bit. And you guys are

Mrs TMN x

Aww thank you and so are yourselves

I'm embarrassed because I almost ruined a friendship. Things turned out great in the end all thanks to the person I was jealous of. They understood my worries and explained some things to me, and it's all good again. Maybe even better than it was before

K"

Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about and this is what it's about being able to communicate and get past those feelings.

Jealousy is a normal human emotion it's how you handle it that counts.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"

Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about and this is what it's about being able to communicate and get past those feelings.

Jealousy is a normal human emotion it's how you handle it that counts.

Mrs "

See, I think this sounds like an unnecessary source of potential conflict in a relationship. Rather than work to get past it, why not just decide to stop swinging

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"

Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about and this is what it's about being able to communicate and get past those feelings.

Jealousy is a normal human emotion it's how you handle it that counts.

Mrs

See, I think this sounds like an unnecessary source of potential conflict in a relationship. Rather than work to get past it, why not just decide to stop swinging "

The poster I was responding to described it as a hiccup and said things were now even better than before. All relationships have bumps in the road - if swinging is something you both want to do, chucking it out the window at the first hurdle seems a bit drastic?

Mrs TMN x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

I haven't been so am a terrible first reply but I guess it's love trust and understanding and a mutual interest in hot sex with others.

I think you absolutely could but what I do wonder is it then all couples that participate in that lifestyle can entirely separate sex from romance or 'connection' - because I can but find many others when it comes down to it, actually can't."

Why do you think that sex and connection has to be separate if indulging in sex beyond a couple's relationship? We don't claim to be swingers and positively look for connection. Our love for each other isn't possessive or controlling, it's free.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

We don't get jealous at all when it comes to having sex with others. It's a great experience that we share with each other. We know nothing can upset the emotional connection we have with each other as we are so strong. Sex at the end of the day is just a physical act, the love is what keeps us together. We both have freedom to enjoy ourselves with others. Sex is the most natural act in the world, why would you not want to allow the person you love to enjoy something that is such a pleasure.

If Mr was taking another woman for a day out, for example, spending quality time with her doing things that we enjoy, then yes I would be jealous over that, but the act of sex with someone else?...nah, no jealousy here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wannafreakyouMan
over a year ago

london

I’m single but if I was in a couple I wouldn’t be on this site as I wouldn’t be able to handle another man drilling my mrs but respect to the couples who do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustincamebridgeCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Male point of view

Do I get jealous? Yes, occasionally.

How do I deal with it?

I love Cammy deeply. I understand jealousy is very destructive and needs to be controlled. Worked through and dispelled as it has no place on our lives or my head

Female point of view.

Do I get jealous? Yes, too often

How do I deal with it?

Nip it in the bag before it takes hold.

I let Austin know how I am feeling before it gets out of hand.

As a couple.

We love each other. Our relationship comes before anything else. We would stop if it ever got to to point it was becoming harmful to our relationship.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

I don't get jealous as he's not allowed to have fun with any females. Know he gets jealous, but as my sexy cuck that's his reward for me letting him watch and know he likes it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"

Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about and this is what it's about being able to communicate and get past those feelings.

Jealousy is a normal human emotion it's how you handle it that counts.

Mrs

See, I think this sounds like an unnecessary source of potential conflict in a relationship. Rather than work to get past it, why not just decide to stop swinging "

Why would you stop when you communicate, over come it and things are better than previously.

This is where a good relationship & communication comes in.

No one can void themselves of emotion.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

We only play together. Neither of us wants to go off and play separately (no judgement to those who do).

If either of us feels uncomfortable or has any issues of jealousy we talk it out and put a stop to whatever has caused the issue.

It happens for men too, even if you only play with other women and I think that is often seen to be a silly thing but it is valid.

MrsAbz

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I don't think it's a case of stopping jealousy per se. I thinks it's more a case first both being in a mindset that jealousy is a manageable factor and second having the openness and communicate to express yourself freely and your desires to be respected and understood. After all the purest and closes intimacy with your partner is completely openness and honesty.

People have different levels of jealousy. But communication, openness and teamwork is the cornerstone of a good swinging relationship. If you have them you will find what works for you as a couple (whatever your swinging format) and manage your feelings and act appropriately in line with the feelings of your partner.

Also another couple of points:

It's worth distinguishing between jealousy that comes for a place of insecurity or feeling of risk and jealousy that comes more from potion of missing out or unfairness. To distinguish between jealousy and envy.

Things are different with different people you encounter. Jealousy (or a different degree of jealousy) may exist with some people you befriend and not others. What may have been OK with one person/s in one time and space may not be OK with another or at another time. This is where communication is key and being able to adapt.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Honestly no I couldn't share a partner, but each to their own "

See we would never meet anyone with this attitude.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'd never be in a relationship.

But guys I meet, I find it kinda hot they meet others tbh.

It's good to share!"

Hell yes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Honestly no I couldn't share a partner, but each to their own

See we would never meet anyone with this attitude. "

That would be a deal breaker for us too, we are prepared to share each other but another couple only wants one of them to have fun. Not imposing our way of doing things in others, just easier to not meet them at all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy Idol OP   Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"I don't think it's a case of stopping jealousy per se. I thinks it's more a case first both being in a mindset that jealousy is a manageable factor and second having the openness and communicate to express yourself freely and your desires to be respected and understood. After all the purest and closes intimacy with your partner is completely openness and honesty.

People have different levels of jealousy. But communication, openness and teamwork is the cornerstone of a good swinging relationship. If you have them you will find what works for you as a couple (whatever your swinging format) and manage your feelings and act appropriately in line with the feelings of your partner.

Also another couple of points:

It's worth distinguishing between jealousy that comes for a place of insecurity or feeling of risk and jealousy that comes more from potion of missing out or unfairness. To distinguish between jealousy and envy.

Things are different with different people you encounter. Jealousy (or a different degree of jealousy) may exist with some people you befriend and not others. What may have been OK with one person/s in one time and space may not be OK with another or at another time. This is where communication is key and being able to adapt. "

This is very nicely put

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"….

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?"

Yes. No. Probably. Maybe. I dunno, it would depend on the other person as much as me. And also what I thought about that other person, and what I wanted with them, if that makes sense.

Eg. I didn’t want to get married and go monogamous until I met my ex wife, so it’s hard to say what I want.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester


"….

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Yes. No. Probably. Maybe. I dunno, it would depend on the other person as much as me. And also what I thought about that other person, and what I wanted with them, if that makes sense.

Eg. I didn’t want to get married and go monogamous until I met my ex wife, so it’s hard to say what I want. "

Good point, if you were both on the same page though it would be fine, but if one of you got jealous it would either be the end of swinging, or the end of the relationship. Can't see how people can square that circle for someone else.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Honestly no I couldn't share a partner, but each to their own

See we would never meet anyone with this attitude.

That would be a deal breaker for us too, we are prepared to share each other but another couple only wants one of them to have fun. Not imposing our way of doing things in others, just easier to not meet them at all.

"

Yeah our rule is we all share or nobody shares.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester


"

Yeah our rule is we all share or nobody shares."

Our one exception to that is for couples that aren't bi, or only have one that is bi, we totally respect straight boundaries and wouldn't expect to swap. But I think that's a given for everyone, some bi couples don't meet straight or mixed at all, but we do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find that foursomes can be excellent in this regard because it stops there being one person just sitting there doing nothing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester


"I find that foursomes can be excellent in this regard because it stops there being one person just sitting there doing nothing."

It could be 2 on 1, with 4th on camera duty

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inx and NymphCouple
over a year ago

bristol


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?

Honestly no I couldn't share a partner, but each to their own

See we would never meet anyone with this attitude.

That would be a deal breaker for us too, we are prepared to share each other but another couple only wants one of them to have fun. Not imposing our way of doing things in others, just easier to not meet them at all.

Yeah our rule is we all share or nobody shares."

I guess everyone is different. I don’t think it’s bad if one steps back or has a camera role, so that the 3 that like each other can still play.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hippy200Woman
over a year ago

leeds


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?"

I was here previously as a couple. It was messed up. I would only do it with a fwb now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oupleOfFilthyWeirdosCouple
over a year ago

Merthyr Tydfil

If you've got a solid relationship and worship the ground eachother walk on, then you've got no/very little issues.

Personally, we find it quite liberating and struggle with the whole monogamous shait that we've all become accustomed to...

Do I enjoy watching her get railed by another guy? Hell yeah, and we enjoy the aftermath for days on end!! Why, because I know that no one will contend with me. No, that's absolutely not me being a bighead, it's just that she has some weird obsession with me and thinks the sun shines out of my arse and the exact same can be said in return.

Solid foundation = healthy swinging

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you've got a solid relationship and worship the ground eachother walk on, then you've got no/very little issues.

Personally, we find it quite liberating and struggle with the whole monogamous shait that we've all become accustomed to...

Do I enjoy watching her get railed by another guy? Hell yeah, and we enjoy the aftermath for days on end!! Why, because I know that no one will contend with me. No, that's absolutely not me being a bighead, it's just that she has some weird obsession with me and thinks the sun shines out of my arse and the exact same can be said in return.

Solid foundation = healthy swinging

"

Love this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.


"Question for the couples. How do you stop jealousy creeping into the fold with swinging?

Question for the singles who haven't been part of a couple in this lifestyle, could you be here as part of a couple?"

The simple answer is you can’t, but you can do things to stop it ruining the fun. This can be to put effective boundaries in place that work for you.

When we started Kitty didn’t enjoy Frankie being overly engrossed with a women, so I’m theeesomes they made sure they always paid attention to Kitty or Kitty made sure to occupy herself with another act with the person Frankie was fucking.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *allen Angels CplCouple
over a year ago

North East leicestershire

Weve done mfm and it's never been a problem.

We have clear boundaries and rules, always play together and talk before, during and after any meets.

Im a bit more unsure when it comes to adding a female or couple into the mix. The idea of it is a real turn on but I struggle more with the idea of it.

We've talked about it and hubby is understanding and not one bit pushy on that side. He just says if it happens it happens x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would highly encourage you read a bit about this - some great books on poly / ENM out there

Basically, the theory is jealousy is not a feeling in itself - not like sadness or happiness. It’s a by product of another feeling. You are jealous because you feel left out, worry they will like the other person more, wish it was you they were spending time with etc. It really helped me to understand that and recognise why I might really feel jealous

There is also a difference between being non monogamous and being poly. I realised I can happily swing with my partner - in fact I adore it, seeing him enjoy himself, helping him reach that level of enjoyment, allowing it. It’s a massive turn on.

But poly didn’t work for me - I was very unhappy when he dated someone else as well, did BF / GF stuff with them. I have to be the primary lover. But not something I would have learned without going through it!

Good luck x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yes. And as others have said - open communication, clear boundaries, speaking up if you are unhappy or worried, respecting each other’s views x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester


"Weve done mfm and it's never been a problem.

We have clear boundaries and rules, always play together and talk before, during and after any meets.

Im a bit more unsure when it comes to adding a female or couple into the mix. The idea of it is a real turn on but I struggle more with the idea of it.

We've talked about it and hubby is understanding and not one bit pushy on that side. He just says if it happens it happens x"

If you struggle with the idea of him playing with another woman, then maybe start with just same room non-swap, maybe a bit of girl on girl, oral only swap and just see how you feel. As long as the other couple understand you are pushing your own boundaries they should be happy to help.

PM us if you like, we are interested.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"

It's this for me. I fully expected to be more jealous and instead I find it so very hot.

It's good to talk about these things on here, but weirdly given previous replies I feel slightly judged for being able to share. Not what you'd expect on this site.

J

No judgement from me, you kinky bitch!

Thank you There's a definite undercurrent of if you really love someone then how could you possibly share them?

J"

That’s a very monogamous and blinkered attitude. Sadly it’s not one that I’m surprised to find on here. The sheer volume of ‘one penis policy’ couples that I see on here just screams insecurity to me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top