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Wannabe Film/TV series Critics Assemble!

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Ey up once again good folks

List here the last film or TV series you watched and give it a rating out of ten (ten being perfection)

If you can be arsed, you can even write a little review.

I’ll start you off: Magic Mike’s Last Dance.

A pile of crap 2

Over to you now

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By *zeroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Tucker and Dale V Evil

A fantastic horror comedy and a great twist on the backwoods hillbilly killer trope

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Tucker and Dale V Evil

A fantastic horror comedy and a great twist on the backwoods hillbilly killer trope

"

I love that film (that woodchipper scene!) I’ll give it a mighty 9

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Tucker and Dale V Evil

A fantastic horror comedy and a great twist on the backwoods hillbilly killer trope

"

Oh it's one of my favourite films! It's perfect. Everything works. It's what The Cabin in the Woods should have been.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Gentleman - Film - Netflix

Absolutely fantastic 10/10

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By *ake_or_deathMan
over a year ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 13/11/23 12:55:01]

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Gen V

I've not finished it yet. Am I enjoying it more than The Boys? No. Homelander is sorely missed. It's not quite as dark as The Boys either so far. It feels a bit too... well socially aware at times. I still love it though. Jordan Li is fantastic though.

That overplayed enemies to lovers trope? Yes.

Her/him/they? Fuck yes.

Signed

A woman who is clearly in her delulu fantasy stage.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

My dream job . Film critic however I find some are so pretentious and up themselves finding hidden meaning in films and making the revue only readable if you are doing a degree in film studies.

I'd like honest reviews for people.

Here's mine for the the 2008 movie

Rambo.

Contains guts and scenes of heads getting punched off.

Enjoy

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By *ake_or_deathMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Tucker and Dale V Evil

A fantastic horror comedy and a great twist on the backwoods hillbilly killer trope

"

I watched that a few weeks back and enjoyed it. Have you seen the series Ash vs Evil Dead? It reminded me a little of that in its mix of comedy and ridiculous gore.

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By *zeroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Tucker and Dale V Evil

A fantastic horror comedy and a great twist on the backwoods hillbilly killer trope

I watched that a few weeks back and enjoyed it. Have you seen the series Ash vs Evil Dead? It reminded me a little of that in its mix of comedy and ridiculous gore."

I'm on the last season. Yeah it's good. I recently watched Evil Dead Rise and I liked how they kept elements of the first one while going in a new direction.

Fun fact Bruce Campbell is one of the voices on the record being played.

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By *ake_or_deathMan
over a year ago

Manchester

The Killer (2023, dir David Fincher, Netflix).

Michael Fassbender stars as an assassin who fails in a mission and finds his client eager to clean up loose ends...like him.

Sadly I thought this film was utterly tedious. There's not much dialogue but Fassbender has a dull, repetitive monologue over the top of it which should have been massively trimmed back and the action left to carry the film. There's nothing new here, I felt like I'd seen everything about it before.

3/10.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

I quite literally just written this review - how uncanny. So I’ll post it here:

The subject of today's criticism is The Killer, the latest movie by David Fincher, starring Michael Fassbender. I should say here at the start, I am quite a fan of Fincher's work, but at the same time, I'm not a fan of Michael Fassbender. I've always found his performances to be insincere, inauthentic.

The Killer is a surprisingly lightweight and somewhat derivative film for David Fincher. A master director and a visual storyteller of impeccable craft and intelligence, Fincher has arguably built his reputation on a series of procedural thrillers that represent the pinnacle of the genre (Fightclub notwithstanding), including Seven, Zodiac, and two seasons of Mindhunter. The Killer, by contrast, is a small, unambitious movie that does nothing you haven't seen before. Fassbender plays a nameless assassin who makes a mistake. In retribution, his employers go after the only person he cares about. Fassbender seeks revenge. There is nothing more to the plot.

The most problematic aspect, however, is Fassbender's character. In a lengthy opening scene, it is clearly established that he is a cold, indifferent killer. A man who lives within a set of principles and rigorous application of discipline to his profession. It is surprising, therefore, that he is prepared to throw this carefully constructed framework to the wind, in order to go home to claim his lady, and then seek revenge when she suffers little more than a bump to the head after being attacked by a couple of nasties. It's a flimsy framework to support a few well-staged episodic set pieces, a structure the film acknowledges by being split into chapters, complete with on-screen headings.

Supporting characters are well played by the likes of Tilda Swinton and Charles Parnell, both of whom offer rich, if brief, performances that contrast greatly with Fassbender's cold, robotic portrayal. Perhaps that is the point, but it leaves us questioning the validity of Fassbender's actions throughout the film. Why risk so much when he seems to care so little?

The closing note of the film is built on empathy - overtly telegraphed for the audience through Fassbender's voiceover, just in case you missed it. The trajectory of the killer is clear to see. The cold, clinical assassin discovers his humanity through a journey of revenge, culminating with a choice to step away from violence.

Perhaps Fassbender's performance was too subtle for me, but I think a crucial part of the story is missing. We barely see Fassbender interact with his lady love. We aren't shown the duality of his personality. The lady exists not as a character but as a motivational device. She is the reason the plot happens, but there is little effort to embed her into the story. She has no agency, she offers nothing to the killer and receives nothing in return. As a result, it is hard to believe the killer can be motivated by something as conventional as love. The film feels empty as a result, somehow less than the sum of its set-pieces, and a disappointment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I watched the football fighters film Studio 666

For the gore only 7/10

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Caged Fury - 1990

An all female prison of sexy underwear models wrongly incarcerated must escape the clutches of the sexy warden who forces them to perform sexy acts on her... Yes, this is the actual plot!

This film was terrible.

It was trying so hard to be porn and might as well have been porn.

The acting was porn.

The budget was porn.

The film quality was porn.

The plot was incredibly porn.

the issue arises when there is no actual porn!!

If this was a real porn film it probably would have been okay, but it wasn't. It had all the bad qualities of normal films and porn films rolled in to one, without any of the good qualities.

Worth a watch for the sheer stupidity of it's very existence.

But ultimately it was a massive pile of wank and not in the good way, save yourself some time and just go and watch porn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TV show - Time 6/10

Film - What Men Want 7/10

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

TV show - The Enfield Poltergeist, it was pretty good got to hear the actual recordings they made at the time, 10/10.

Film - Halloween Ends, the less said about that film the better! 0/10

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By *unandgamegeekMan
over a year ago

Bolton

The Exorcist: Believer was an awful movie. It focused too much on nostalgia bait and cheap jump scares rather than giving the audience a proper good storyline with well written characters.

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By *eavilMan
over a year ago

Stalybridge

Loki. 9 out if 10. Good ending that ties up series or could offer chance of spin off. Better than I thought it might be.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I enjoyed the original Jumani and watched Jumani Welcome to the Jungle. Good fun 8/10. The third film is not very good though.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

[Removed by poster at 13/11/23 15:57:07]

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"Tucker and Dale V Evil

A fantastic horror comedy and a great twist on the backwoods hillbilly killer trope

"

Totally underrated gem!

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By *eartsmanMan
over a year ago

southeast , midlands, southern France

Don't push granny while she's shaving,

An amazing film, about a granny shaving

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By *ornyguyMan
over a year ago

Hillsborough, NI

some weird piece of bollocks called "Infinity Pool".

2 out of 10. I maybe missing a little bit of the film in the middle but what I watched was weird and not very good at all.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I've just rewatched the original Manga version of Ghost In The Shell. It's aged well for a nearly 30 year old movie. The themes of artificial sentience are, if anything, more relevant today than they were in 1995. Kenji Kawai's theme is as haunting as it was the day I first heard it. A deserved classic. 9/10 (nothing's perfect - except Blade Runner).

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I finished the series Six Four starring Kevin McKidd.

Meh….it started off promising enough but kind of just fizzled out towards the end.

4

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Don't worry darling.

Oh I wish I didn't worry enough to watch you darling you were a clever concept but a fucking terrible, annoying even, movie. Don't worry about watching it darlings it's not executed as well as my dong is.

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By *warf with a mulletMan
over a year ago

barry

Lucifer, first 4 or 5 seasons were great, last season was dissapointing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The Gentleman - Film - Netflix

Absolutely fantastic 10/10"

Absolutely 100% agree i think this is my favourite film of all time. Every actor plays a brilliant roll in it. If you havent seen it go take a look. Im sure you wont be disappointed.

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