FabSwingers.com forum: Keep in touch!

By *viatrix OP Woman
over a year ago

Redhill

How good are you at this? In a Fab context- I am sure you’re all very good at keeping in touch with close friends and family.

But, if there are people you’ve met a few times, known for a while, how often do you message to say hello? Every day? Twice a week? Once a week? Once a month? Or just when you’re horny and they pop in your mind?

I can be awful at staying in touch. I’d read a message and think I’ll reply properly later, and weeks can go by before I remember to reply.

but obviously, when there is certain interest I tend to be much faster at replying. In my upbringing it was always “the man has to message first”, so it is really, really difficult for me to message first and ask male friends about their day etc.

Guys-do you like to receive messages from women you have met/established a fwb situation just to say hello? Would you hope to receive messages with certain frequency or is that stalking, lol?

Any coffee going?

I’m tired, had to get up at 2:45am this morning

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

If it's someone I'm meeting regularly, I will often message, to see how their day was or ask them about something they had coming up. I don't wait for people to msg me, especially if we're supposed to be friends.

I think I msg with my fwb almost every day.

Other than Fab friends I might think "oh I've not heard from them in a while" and pop them a msg, or respond to something off a forum thread.

People in general, can go months or even years, but true friends you just pick up where you left off, like no time has passed.

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere

I'm awful at messaging first. Always just assume i won't be what that person is looking for, or be worried I'd be disturbing them and piss them off. I know women get inundated with messages all mine would probably just got lost lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I'm terrible. I used to be ok with sending first messages but would forget to stay in touch. I used to talk to a lot of people and wouldn't notice if I'd stopped getting messages from someone

There where also those that I'd talk to frequently but I've always worked on the one in one out. If I messaged someone I'd wait for them to reply before I sent another message. If they did t message me back I'd just leave it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think most relationships have an understanding of messaging. If it's a one off thing then you probably say hello now and again if you cross paths but nothing more than that. Then there's the people that you hook up with now and again when life allows it, these people we usually only message to arrange plans. Then there's the people that you actual have a regular friendship relationship with where you talk quite frequently in-between meets. I try to balance between we all have lives away from this so give them their space whilst also letting them know I still care. I'm not the best at initiating messages though but I appreciate the ones that do as it shows they are geuinuely invested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always welcome check in messages and do send them if we've gotten to that point but they shouldn't be a chore. So I understand when it's not natural to people and they don't do it as much as others. Likewise life happens and I'm too busy sometimes so when people expect or get upset with me for lack of frequent communication I tend to just pull away.

That applies to online and offline life.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

[Removed by poster at 13/11/23 11:02:11]

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Sometimes I can’t keep up. And I feel bad about not chatting as much as a partner/pal might like. But we all have busy lives, right? Everyone ultimately does understand.

But there’s still that nagging guilt at the back of my mind. That urge to apologise for not messaging in a while.

It’s daft. I should be able to ignore it and accept that I’m here for people when they want me. I don’t have to be constantly communicating. None of us do.

I think I need coffee too.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Oh I'm terrible. My attention span is terrible. I often get complained at for ghosting people but it's not intentional, I just get sidetracked alot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm rubbish - i have good intentions, but then worry i have no scintillating news or updates lol... So then i think oh I'll wait a bit.. And then i think they've forgotten who i am. I'm very socially awkward

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

I used to be really good at keeping in touch with people. Things happened, I grew tired of other people, and I turned inwards, and now I hardly message anyone. I deleted all the apps I had apart from WhatsApp. I have group chats with very old friends that have over 1000 unread messages. There are a couple of people here on Fab who I’ve recently begun to speak to, who I really like, and I try to respond to their messages within a day or two. I’m motivated to establish the connections, because I think they are lovely, fascinating people. But I also know that I could easily turn inwards and vanish for weeks.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

People I've met and had good times with sure.

I'll send the odd text now and then seeing how they are.

One on my friend list I've not met but we stay in regular contact. Only distance stopping us meeting

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I’m absolutely awful at that but the main reason is I don’t want to appear clingy or needy.

That unfortunately backfires on me, because people think I’m no longer interested, when I’m fact, I am!

For that very reason I am back on telegram and slowly catching up.

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By *aissez-faireMan
over a year ago

Right behind you…. Boo

I blame social media. You can see what people have been up to all the time so there’s no need to speak to them.

Since deleting all my SM accounts I am much better at contacting people and just chatting.

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By *viatrix OP Woman
over a year ago

Redhill

"I’m absolutely awful at that but the main reason is I don’t want to appear clingy or needy.

That unfortunately backfires on me, because people think I’m no longer interested, when I’m fact, I am!

For that very reason I am back on telegram and slowly catching up. "

This is EXACTLY how I feel. Don’t want to come across as clingy or needy, but then if a few weks go by with no contact, then it gnaws at me haha.

Work keeps me away from thinking such things, but then I am home and I overthink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lately, I'm terrible.

If I don't reply straight away then you'll be waiting a few days. Or weeks.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

I'm a Chatty Cathy and chat to my close friends daily, we enjoy sending spaff, memes, food pics and other annoying stuff to each other

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I’m awful. I’ll read a message, get distracted and then forget because it’s not marked as unread…

Or I’ll reply quickly so that don’t forget & then look disinterested or boring

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Away from Fab I tried to ring and old colleague who retired for a catch up. He rang back when I was busy and forgot to try again. I found out today he has passed away.

Don't put off keeping in touch else you might not get the chance again.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"How good are you at this? In a Fab context- I am sure you’re all very good at keeping in touch with close friends and family.

I can be awful at staying in touch. I’d read a message and think I’ll reply properly later, and weeks can go by before I remember to reply.

Guys-do you like to receive messages from women you have met/established a fwb situation just to say hello? Would you hope to receive messages with certain frequency or is that stalking, lol?

Any coffee going?

I’m tired, had to get up at 2:45am this morning

"
once a year whether they need it or not

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Don't put off keeping in touch else you might not get the chance again."

Sorry for your loss, fella.

I sympathise, having been at a funeral on Thursday for a mate I hadn’t seen in a while.

Send the message. Make the call. Say hi. People are what’s important in this world. Make time for them.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Don't put off keeping in touch else you might not get the chance again.

Sorry for your loss, fella.

I sympathise, having been at a funeral on Thursday for a mate I hadn’t seen in a while.

Send the message. Make the call. Say hi. People are what’s important in this world. Make time for them."

Sorry to hear that. Agreed RTG

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Generally I'm terrible at keeping in touch with family and friends but the chat is always easy when we do catch up regardless of how much time has passed.

Through fab I rarely contact anyone on my friends list but they don't get in touch very much either.

I chat to my fwb every single day and she has no issue sending that first message each day. In fact she originally contacted me first.

That friendship is one of the benefits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Away from Fab I tried to ring and old colleague who retired for a catch up. He rang back when I was busy and forgot to try again. I found out today he has passed away.

Don't put off keeping in touch else you might not get the chance again."

Ah that is sad.. I had something similar with my friends mum - she seemed to be rallying so i didn't prioritise visiting the next day.. And she passed

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Away from Fab I tried to ring and old colleague who retired for a catch up. He rang back when I was busy and forgot to try again. I found out today he has passed away.

Don't put off keeping in touch else you might not get the chance again.

Ah that is sad.. I had something similar with my friends mum - she seemed to be rallying so i didn't prioritise visiting the next day.. And she passed

Sorry to hear that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m terrible. I have a bad memory at the best of times

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Off fab... I can be excellent. And I can be awful. And I'm often worried about sending a message after some time has passed. Not because I've not been thinking of the person, but because I've over thought... more often than not, that's if the last communication we had wasn't clear if it needed a reply,or I felt like they didn't want to hear from me... and the brain goblins start telling me they don't really want to hear from me.

I'm known for not going into my fab inbox. I just don't, because I haven't the spoons. Although some days I can be good at it, and have a flowing conversation. But I forget about it, because I don't always log on to fab... or I get caught up in the forum. So I tend to try and move conversations to other messaging services instead... that way I see notifications.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"Off fab... I can be excellent. And I can be awful. And I'm often worried about sending a message after some time has passed. Not because I've not been thinking of the person, but because I've over thought... more often than not, that's if the last communication we had wasn't clear if it needed a reply,or I felt like they didn't want to hear from me... and the brain goblins start telling me they don't really want to hear from me.

Get out of my brain woman cause I was going to type pretty much the same.

Tinder

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I get in touch with people we chat to on FAB to see how they are doing. It’s never just when I’m horny - I do enjoy building connections and friendships.

I don’t buy into the ‘I’m too busy to message people’ - people will always find time to message someone if they wanted to.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Get out of my brain woman cause I was going to type pretty much the same.

Tinder "

I saved your fingers!

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

Good to know x

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Answer my message women!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm useless and I always feel guilty that I'm not the first to message but I'm always so busy these days

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By *viatrix OP Woman
over a year ago

Redhill

"I get in touch with people we chat to on FAB to see how they are doing. It’s never just when I’m horny - I do enjoy building connections and friendships.

I don’t buy into the ‘I’m too busy to message people’ - people will always find time to message someone if they wanted to.

Where I come from we have a saying: “el interés tiene pies”; it rhymes beautifully in Spanish but in English it means “interest has feet”, haha- meaning that if you’re really interested, you’ll make time to at least write a short catching up message. And I totally agree! We can be really busy but if you’re interested, you’ll at least send a little hello. Maybe I should take the hint here.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"We can be really busy but if you’re interested, you’ll at least send a little hello. Maybe I should take the hint here.

Hello.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"I get in touch with people we chat to on FAB to see how they are doing. It’s never just when I’m horny - I do enjoy building connections and friendships.

I don’t buy into the ‘I’m too busy to message people’ - people will always find time to message someone if they wanted to.

What a lovely phrase and very true…

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Good to know x"

I mean... I'm very open about it

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Answer my message women!!!

I already sent you the link to the mega anal hooks site I found for you... was there another message I missed?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I’m not one for tonnes of random conversations and I’m rubbish at catching up with people I’ve known years. I will defo make more effort though because there are people I care about here.

I’m not trying to meet or socialise anytime soon so if I contact somebody it’s because I find them, or something they said on the forum, interesting.

I think it’s very different if you’re making plans. I have lots of conversation away from here right now and that’s all my brain can cope with.

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By *apidaryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I enjoy keeping in touch. And enjoy not keeping a mental note of who owes whom a message, or how long it might have been.

Life gets busy and chaotic. It's lovely to hear from people; silences and pauses are absolutely fine. What's to get upset about? Unless they're in the near run up to a previously agreed meet, in which case they're bad manners and the person involved has the decency of a bad-tempered goat, and deserves to be barbecued.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I Loose contact with people all the time

I'm a crap friend

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

On here I chat to people and it can be weeks or months between msgs, either I'll msg them or they'll msg me and we just pick up chatting where we left off. Off here I chat pretty much every day, but the same again if I don't hear from someone for a while that I like chatting to I don't mind not hearing from them everyday.

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