FabSwingers.com forum: Manners or entitlement

By *undayGirl 69 OP Woman
over a year ago

Coalville

Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think it’s entitled but maybe a bit outdated?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners absolutely..

Doors open ,go bar ,public transport seats eldery or where applicable.

Cost nothing to be polite and why not and even more so on here as don.t know people so good impression too

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

I think it's always good manners to open doors for others (not just women), and buying the first drink on a date is a given too. If I had asked a lady out somewhere I would expect to pay for the entire evening, not out of honour but because I had invited them.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners is important in all situations and I do appreciate the gentlemanly qualities like holding the door although it's not necessary.

When it comes to paying though I am that difficult person who likes to pay for my own stuff. It does offend some men but it's just the way I do life and look after myself.

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Manners maketh the man

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By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

They say chivarly is dead, and women killed it. and to a big extent i can understand why.

However i do hold doors open for people, I would on occasion buy the first drink/meal on a first date, though i havent had a date for sooo long, these days its mostly meet up and play.

However i do see a lot of entitlement (usually online and in the US admittedly)

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By *mmaAndDavidHornyFuckersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Whomever gets to the door first holds it open for the next person to go first sex of the person isn't a factor in our book.

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By *wingamajigsCouple
over a year ago

Folkestone

Personally I would buy the first drink and open a door for anyone. It was how I was raised.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

Manners are yes important but a man opening a door for a woman is very dated as is paying for everything regardless of who pays for the 2nd.

50/50 all the way, it's polite for you to open the door for a man too.

Equality over chivalry.

Mrs

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I don't think there is anything entitled about wanting a door held open. I do it for both sizes and both sees do it for me

As for the gent going to the bar first I'm not fused as we would be taking turns to buy the rounds

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
over a year ago

St Leonards

I tend to open doors for anyone and anything.

Even cats, which usually doesn't end well for me.

Drinks - if you buy the first one I'm probably more interested in you because it can show (not foolproof, but a good indicator) that your independence is well established.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

sexes

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Yeah I love it, I'm quite old fashioned though, but its something we would have discussed before meeting up, so no crossed wires. I do pay sometimes before he realises, else he automatically goes to and I like to avoid the "no let me" discussion

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I would always hold doors for people or offer to pay for the first drink - irrespective of who I was with.

That said, I do think it is a tad strange that if a woman is independent and her own person that she would expect that to be done for her. It would seem that she wants everything, which feels a little entitled in the modern day.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

It's not outdated for us, we're still old school and like it that way.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

Doors, yeah I'd hold it open for the next person to come through. I'd be pleased if someone did that for me.

Drinks? I can and will pay my own way thanks.

If I'd arranged to meet someone, they'd know that.

I'd prefer not to set up expectations with a relative stranger.

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By *undayGirl 69 OP Woman
over a year ago

Coalville

I like this. It’s interesting.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

I’ll hold a door for anyone close enough and I like to buy the first round. But this is regardless of gender. I don’t understand why a woman in the 21st century would expect everything bought for her?

Interestingly, in Spain they use a lot less pleases and thank yous, which is totally acceptable here. Some even think the Brits are over the top with their constant por fa’s, almost smarmy sounding to the locals.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

Holding the door is just polite for anyone

Why do you think good manners involves financial things?

What about buying someone a drink is good manners and if you really think it does, aren’t you being rude by not buying a drink?

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I hold doors for anyone and hope others do the same for me.

As for the drink, I ask if she wanted a drink, if she said ‘yes’ I’d reply ‘ideal, get me one while you’re there aswell please, cheers’

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By *undayGirl 69 OP Woman
over a year ago

Coalville

"I hold doors for anyone and hope others do the same for me.

As for the drink, I ask if she wanted a drink, if she said ‘yes’ I’d reply ‘ideal, get me one while you’re there aswell please, cheers’

I would buy the drink! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anything I’d say your stance of getting the 2nd drink only is incredibly rude

What’s your saying is “you have to get me the first drink regardless of whether we like each other or not, I’ll only get the 2nd once I know I like you.”

Aka “I’m inherently worth more then you, that’s why you need to pay before you even start getting to know me”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he buys the first drink you have to suck his cock.

Thems the rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm quite a traditionalist. I like to be treated like a lady, doors opened, first drinks bought etc.

I absolutely pay my way and will always buy the 2nd drink but for me chivalry is a big turn on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so not modern... In my defence, I originally come from a very patriarchal country.

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

"Personally I would buy the first drink and open a door for anyone. It was how I was raised. "

This..

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By *ddie1966Man
over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

If I'm first to the door, I always hold it open. It's manners.

If I offer a drink, I expect to buy it.

It's manners. Not chivalry.

Walking to a lady's right. Thats chivalry. It leaves the gentleman's sword arm free to defend his lady.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

It is outdated but i really like it. Its common amongst men my age.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"If I'm first to the door, I always hold it open. It's manners.

If I offer a drink, I expect to buy it.

It's manners. Not chivalry.

Walking to a lady's right. Thats chivalry. It leaves the gentleman's sword arm free to defend his lady."

Not if he’s left handed it doesn’t

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
over a year ago

St Leonards

"If I'm first to the door, I always hold it open. It's manners.

If I offer a drink, I expect to buy it.

It's manners. Not chivalry.

Walking to a lady's right. Thats chivalry. It leaves the gentleman's sword arm free to defend his lady.

Not if he’s left handed it doesn’t

And if you can wield your swords in both hands simultaneously, I guess someone is sitting on someone else's shoulders.

So, I'll hold the doors, she buys the first drink, and she can also sit on my shoulders as we fight through the bar.

Job done

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By *undayGirl 69 OP Woman
over a year ago

Coalville

"If I'm first to the door, I always hold it open. It's manners.

If I offer a drink, I expect to buy it.

It's manners. Not chivalry.

Walking to a lady's right. Thats chivalry. It leaves the gentleman's sword arm free to defend his lady.

Not if he’s left handed it doesn’t

And if you can wield your swords in both hands simultaneously, I guess someone is sitting on someone else's shoulders.

So, I'll hold the doors, she buys the first drink, and she can also sit on my shoulders as we fight through the bar.

Job done

I’d happily buy a bloke who could have my on his shoulders and have a sword fight!! You’d need it! Lol

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
over a year ago

St Leonards

"If I'm first to the door, I always hold it open. It's manners.

If I offer a drink, I expect to buy it.

It's manners. Not chivalry.

Walking to a lady's right. Thats chivalry. It leaves the gentleman's sword arm free to defend his lady.

Not if he’s left handed it doesn’t

And if you can wield your swords in both hands simultaneously, I guess someone is sitting on someone else's shoulders.

So, I'll hold the doors, she buys the first drink, and she can also sit on my shoulders as we fight through the bar.

Job done

I’d happily buy a bloke who could have my on his shoulders and have a sword fight!! You’d need it! Lol"

Mine's a San Pellegrino please. Not too chilled x

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

"I think it's always good manners to open doors for others (not just women), and buying the first drink on a date is a given too. If I had asked a lady out somewhere I would expect to pay for the entire evening, not out of honour but because I had invited them.

Cal"

Yes, this. (Though if she'd invited me, I'd still offer to pay my half of the bill!)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think it's outdated.

Whoever is there first should hold the door, and buying things should be split.

That being said, I recognise that people feel differently - I go along to get along, and ask people not to do the chivalry stuff when it's appropriate to do so. (I also order the cheapest things I can bear, so I'm not freeloading on someone being chivalrous - or, if they think it means they get laid, I tell them that's worth more than a lemonade

)

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've always opened doors to others regardless of age or gender.

I remember doing it once for a woman and she immediately became abusive and shouted loudly that she didn't need some fucking weirdo opening a door for her and I was a sexist pig.

It didn't stop me from doing it again but I've noticed that many people don't even acknowledge it and just walk on without so much as a thank you or even a nod.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

It's called equality.

Just because your a woman doesn't entitle you to anything and if a man buys you a drink why is it specific that something has to go x far before you buy him one in return?

Many men nowadays sre tired of being used as ATM machines and used for free drinks and dinners, for nothing in return.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Times are a changing, I’ve been brought up to buy the meal and drinks and hold open doors but tbh it’s awkward if they want to pay half..

I don’t know if it’s because they think I expect something if I’ve paid ? It’s 100% NOT the case but do I refuse to take half or accept half and I feel less of a gentleman?

I’d love it if we went on to a pub and my social date bought a round without asking, that would be a perfect situation for me.

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By *andy2Man
over a year ago

Ealing

"Manners maketh the man

100%

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Opening doors ect is expected! Paying for what I have on otherhand is not x

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"It's called equality.

Just because your a woman doesn't entitle you to anything and if a man buys you a drink why is it specific that something has to go x far before you buy him one in return?

Many men nowadays are tired of being used as ATM machines and used for free drinks and dinners, for nothing in return.

Manners is holding the door open I will fo that regardless of gender, Manners cost nothing. Overpriced drinks for women because they think they are entitled to one fir being women? Nope.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

[Removed by poster at 13/11/23 08:25:25]

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

No it's not entitled, and no basic manners are not a thing of the past... Though the number of women who fail to even acknowledge such an act seems to be growing. Manners make the world a nicer place

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By *undayGirl 69 OP Woman
over a year ago

Coalville

Thankyou to all for your feedback. It’s been interesting. I will from now on, before a social, confirm that we will be splitting the drinks bill, n that if there is more than one door to the establishment ensure I open my share. If it’s an odd number I will ask them to walk through one twice.

I will also ensure I have told them in no way feel I am superior to them… oh n I’ll check they are fully equipped for the sword fight that will no doubt take place.

No but really it’s been ace, I mean who doesn’t love a masdebate on a Monday morning!

Cheers, mines a pint. See u at the bar! Xx

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By *xcited And CuriousCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Mr here.

Whoever is closest to the door opens it. I'd typically engineer my step so I arrive to the door first, but I won't make a simp lunge for it. If it turns out to be a heavy or stiff door, I'll open it.

If we both work & earn money, or cordially agree on an alternative (eg, I'll get dinner, you get the taxi), then we can share the bill. If paying for drinks separately, I don't care who pays for the first.

Virtually all of the women in my personal and professional life are independent and financially self-sufficient. I don't think any of them would be offended or bothered by chivalry, but I don't think they'd expect it and I suspect all would regard the principal outdated.

Does chivalry contradict equality? Is it sexist? Does equality negate chivalry?

I abhor entitled behaviour - man or woman, adult or child. No-one on the planet is more entitled to respect than me, and I'm no more entitled to respect than anyone else.

But...

If a man is hoping to get jiggy with a woman, then I suppose there are some behaviours that for some women would be green flags or deal-breakers...

Isn't showing respect more important than chivalry?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

No I think it is common decency. However, in recent times and I’ve had it myself you get the ‘i can open the door fine myself’ ultra feminist that thinks everything is about them when the fact is it doesn’t matter if you’re a bloke or a female, I’ll get the door for you. R

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Thankyou to all for your feedback. It’s been interesting. I will from now on, before a social, confirm that we will be splitting the drinks bill, n that if there is more than one door to the establishment ensure I open my share. If it’s an odd number I will ask them to walk through one twice.

I will also ensure I have told them in no way feel I am superior to them… oh n I’ll check they are fully equipped for the sword fight that will no doubt take place.

No but really it’s been ace, I mean who doesn’t love a masdebate on a Monday morning!

Cheers, mines a pint. See u at the bar! Xx

Well, that's an odd way to react

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By *archelCouple
over a year ago

A field somewhere

It's either manners or misogyny. It's entirely dependent on who you ask.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I will also ensure I have told them in no way feel I am superior to them… oh n I’ll check they are fully equipped for the sword fight that will no doubt take place.

No but really it’s been ace, I mean who doesn’t love a masdebate on a Monday morning!

Cheers, mines a pint. See u at the bar! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will also ensure I have told them in no way feel I am superior to them… oh n I’ll check they are fully equipped for the sword fight that will no doubt take place.

No but really it’s been ace, I mean who doesn’t love a masdebate on a Monday morning!

Cheers, mines a pint. See u at the bar! Xx

Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong answer here

If you want the guy to pay, your free to have whatever standards you want, and plenty of men will be fine with that, plenty won’t

Do whatever you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's incredibly entitled for a woman to expect a man to buy the first drink. It's not 1940.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never understood one person buying everything on a day out unless its someones birthday. If a person can't afford to cover themselves then thats a red flag to me. I'd never expect anyone to cover my food and drinks, in the same way that I ain't covering stuff for other people. However, people not holding doors open (within reason) are just cunts.

Dating is a two way street, therefor, I'd expect them to have the basic manners to cover for themselves.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

What happens when two women go for a drink? Who goes to the bar and opens the door?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I don't expect anyone to buy me a drink. Think it's a bit rude to assume, especially with the cost of living at the moment. It is not cheap to buy drinks even if it is just 2 of you.

Doors should be held open regardless of gender. It's just polite.

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
over a year ago

St Leonards

"What happens when two women go for a drink? Who goes to the bar and opens the door? "

There's a joke here, right?

Two women go to a bar.

No one opens the door, so they get cold, go home, and warm up with amazing sex.

Then they realise they don't need bars or men any more.

Or doors.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

It may be old fashioned and it seems that some may criticise you for it but it shows you are generous and thoughtful, i for one will continue

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"What happens when two women go for a drink? Who goes to the bar and opens the door?

There's a joke here, right?

Two women go to a bar.

No one opens the door, so they get cold, go home, and warm up with amazing sex.

Then they realise they don't need bars or men any more.

Or doors."

I'll tee em up... You smash em out of the park

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By *orYourThighsOnlyMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

I perfer to be a gentleman open doors etc love it. But yes I think you should buy the second drink regardless of how it went I think that would be a good courtesy a lovely gesture too and extend the time a little to settle the nerves etc.

However if your opening doors etc for someone who never says thanks or never makes the same gesture towards you. Then its very off putting too me. We all want someone to treat us well in public and bang the daylights out of us at night lol

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
over a year ago

St Leonards

"What happens when two women go for a drink? Who goes to the bar and opens the door?

There's a joke here, right?

Two women go to a bar.

No one opens the door, so they get cold, go home, and warm up with amazing sex.

Then they realise they don't need bars or men any more.

Or doors.

I'll tee em up... You smash em out of the park "

Yeah - set it up to look like misogyny, ended it to the cost of the bepenised

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I will also ensure I have told them in no way feel I am superior to them… oh n I’ll check they are fully equipped for the sword fight that will no doubt take place.

No but really it’s been ace, I mean who doesn’t love a masdebate on a Monday morning!

Cheers, mines a pint. See u at the bar! Xx

Well, that's an odd way to react

I'm with you there.

Mrs

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I will also ensure I have told them in no way feel I am superior to them… oh n I’ll check they are fully equipped for the sword fight that will no doubt take place.

No but really it’s been ace, I mean who doesn’t love a masdebate on a Monday morning!

Cheers, mines a pint. See u at the bar! Xx

Well, that's an odd way to react

I'm with you there.

Mrs

With shifting norms comes compromise, give and take. I'd *rather* not deal with all the chivalry shit, but it exists, so I go along to get along as best I can. People can do what they want, but when it's among other people, it has to go along with what those other people want too.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I think the majority of the guys I've met have actually been like this, even the younger ones. Very polite and well mannered, there's only been one who said let's go for coffee and then didn't actually buy the coffee... He was very strange though lol

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

It's nice to be nice. If you are at the door and someone else approaches, hold it open for them. I would rather hold the door open for someone or let them get on the train or bus before me, they may have had a shite day and that might just make them feel worthwhile again.

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By *ouplewithKinks23Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

I think that's pretty much the base line for G (m half) and always has been. Don't consider it outdated or entitled

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By *anniellaBiTSTV/TS
over a year ago

Bolton

I think it's manners.

I will hold the door open for others regardless of gender. I really appreciate it when people don't for me. That's how I was raised.

Drinks? 1st yes. But only 1st.

Some manners maybe old fashioned, but that is not always a bad thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are past the manners stage, Penny always gets sent the bar as her tits and teeth always get her served quickly.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

They say chivarly is dead, and women killed it. and to a big extent i can understand why. "

Who says this?

Mr DD

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By *r Looking 69Man
over a year ago

north

I wouldn't call myself old fashion but holding doors and getting the first drink or two is definitely good manners. Especially if the guy has made the move to ask the girl out on a date. As for holding doors surelly everyone does that naturally for someone walking behind then haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They say chivarly is dead, and women killed it. and to a big extent i can understand why.

Who says this?

Mr DD"

It’s a classic Dave Chappell line

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

They say chivarly is dead, and women killed it. and to a big extent i can understand why.

Who says this?

Mr DD

It’s a classic Dave Chappell line "

Oh, the transphobic guy, figures.

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By *illowWarriorMan
over a year ago

London

Being a gentleman or mannerly isn’t outdated but how it comes across can be…offered to help a girl carry stuff before and she made it out as if I’d killed her dog! I offered cause I was raised well not cause she couldn’t do it same way I’d hold a door open…doesn’t mean you can’t open doors it’s just polite

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

I use to open doors for women until I had one shout at my that she could do it for herself.

So now I just don't bother.

Should of tripped her up to be honest

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By *hriscooperMan
over a year ago

Warrington

Good manners cost nothing and go a long way in my opinion..

I know some feminists may not like a man pulling out a chair, letting them go first or opening or holding a door open for some reason though.

For me though, it just shows that you have manners, and you're not just thinking about yourself.

I'd hold a door open for a man or a child too, so 9ts not just a chivirly thing.

Being nice doesn't cost a penny, just like giving someone a smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll hold a door for anyone, or give up my seat for someone who looks like they need it more than me.

If that makes me some kind of ‘ist’ then don’t accept what I consider common courtesy.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"...stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?"

No. In my experience women rarely get the first round in.

"...I would buy the second. If we made it that far?"

Do something radical and progressive: offer to buy the first.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

I would always hold the door open for anyone.

I would generally get the first round in, sit down and chat, drain the drink quicker than my date and ask if she wanted the same again. There maybe a little bit of toing and froing but if I'm drinking a but quicker I would buy it no problem.

Probably easier if I filter out my needs to pint drinking women. There's something sexy about that in its own right.

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By *elliflousCouple
over a year ago

North West.

It's manners and good social interaction. Whomsoever you are opening the door for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I get there first I'll get the first round - for dates or mates.

If I get to the door first I'll open it - for anyone.

I'll always offer to split the bill. If I've been more extravagant in my choices, I'll offer to pay my exact share. I like fairness, and those fancy £18 cocktails sometimes.

About half the time, on first/second dates, guys will still insist on paying. Once we're more established splitting becomes the norm or we take turns with stuff - you get the tickets I'll get dinner, etc.

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By *bwgirlygirlWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

If you don't have the same values as my dad you're not husband material. My mum never bought a drink, stood in a queue or went to the bar. I'm more than capable of doing all those things but a man who doesn't have that mindset or set of morals isn't a life partner

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

"If you don't have the same values as my dad you're not husband material. My mum never bought a drink, stood in a queue or went to the bar. I'm more than capable of doing all those things but a man who doesn't have that mindset or set of morals isn't a life partner "

I met my wife in my mid twenties and she was 12 years older than me and had previously been married to a guy that was 10 years older than her. She was gobsmacked that I took her to the bar and then I'd leave her there while I went to the loo. She'd never stood at a bar before she met me.

I always hold doors open to anyone though.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

A peaceful society is partly sustained by small acts of everyday kindness. What do you think will happen when you have millions of people all living shoulder to shoulder and you begin to question the intention and validity of basic good manners?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally... I open car door, this door and that... I step aside and let the person in or out... Respect and manners are very important to me. Listening with eye contact, not staring at the boobs and lips.

I'm told I'm old fashioned. Idgaf.

It's not entitlement.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"Personally... I open car door, this door and that... I step aside and let the person in or out... Respect and manners are very important to me. Listening with eye contact, not staring at the boobs and lips.

I'm told I'm old fashioned. Idgaf.

It's not entitlement. "

The boobs bit is a challenge but because I am deaf as a post means I need to look at lips anyway!

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By *uffolkcouple-bi onlyCouple
over a year ago

West Suffolk

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

Cal"

Quite right.

Unfortunately not everyone is grateful these days and it not unusual to not be thanked for opening doors or holding them open. Not that that changes my behaviour, manners cost nothing

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

gretna

I always hold The door open for a lady - how else can i give her arse a playful slap on the way past??

* this message was copied and pasted from 1973 - attitudes may have changed in the intervening years!! - but i’d still hold the door open and get the first drinks in ….

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

I’ve always thought it was polite to hold the door open for whoever is with me, male or female. The same as always offering to buy a drink.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

I do it out of habit for men and women.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

•

Likewise...if you don't have the same values as my mother you're not wife material. My mother - who was an 'equal breadwinner' - always bought a beverage or a meal, was more than willing and adept in standing in queues, took the precedent in approaching the airline check-in desk with the luggage, or going to the till to pay for something. She brought me up to be fully capable and independent in doing all those things, but a woman who doesn't have that mindset, sensibilities or principles isn't a life partner.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I see things like holding doors open for someone as simply good manners that should be done by everyone, if I go through a door and someone is close behind me or walking towards the door I will hold it for them no matter who, the sex of the person and if I'm there with them or not is irrelevant.

If on a date and especially a fab social with a stranger I would rather pay my own way for drinks/food. I have been in situations where the man has insisted on paying and then suggest because he's paid we will be having sex. That's not how it works so I'll just keep paying for myself.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

It’s nice to be polite but it’s also nice to appreciate that not everyone has the same viewpoint as you, and may consider what you to believe polite to be condescending.

I think it’s very difficult for men to appreciate what a different world it can be for women, and we should perhaps not cry so much when a woman doesn’t behave in the manner we think she should.

Mr DD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

I like to hold her pussy lips open for her as I get my wicked tongue inside her..does that count?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/11/23 14:37:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds more like a child than a woman

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

My dad and my grandad always did the same for my grandmother and my mum.

They both tried it with me and my 2 sisters but gave up because we always went to the bar ourselves and even bought the men drinks.

Bear in mind that these values of always buying the drinks for a woman stem from the day where women didn't go in pubs or bars alone. They had to be accompanied by men or if they did go in alone it was frowned upon. In those days you would never have seen a woman at the bar.

I'm just glad we have moved away from being downtrodden and can do things on our own.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

I like to hold her pussy lips open for her as I get my wicked tongue inside her..does that count?

Now that's very respectful

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It’s nice to be polite but it’s also nice to appreciate that not everyone has the same viewpoint as you, and may consider what you to believe polite to be condescending.

I think it’s very difficult for men to appreciate what a different world it can be for women, and we should perhaps not cry so much when a woman doesn’t behave in the manner we think she should.

Mr DD"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it ok if I don't want to be your husband.?Get up the bar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife is very strong independent woman.Worked all her life in a better paid job than me but she would always like me to go to bar,get the drink etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife is very strong independent woman.Worked all her life in a better paid job than me but she would always like me to go to bar,get the drink etc."

And I'm happy too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife is very strong independent woman.Worked all her life in a better paid job than me but she would always like me to go to bar,get the drink etc.

And I'm happy too"

To even

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My late partner was a lot older than me and a typical gentleman of his time. Apart from the basics of opening doors etc he would stand up when I left the table and when we where eating he would match his pace to mine. He always wanted to pay for everything. It took him two years to allow me to pay for anything and when we went to the pub he found it difficult to get used to me going to the bar. His ex wife used to let him do everything including the finances she never paid for anything.

The longer we where together the more comfortable he got with me paying for things to the point he'd cheekily say sometimes was I going to take him out for lunch. But that was a generation thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True but sweet

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

Many men reading this will think they dodged a bullet!

If you need these things, a lot of people will not consider you life partner material.

Gbat

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By *idan31Man
over a year ago

ashby

Is it bad to be polite and respectful to open a door for a woman … but spank her arse as she goes through ….. ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socials….

Is a man holding doors open n stepping up to the bar (ie buying the first drink) a thing of the past?

Is it outdated n entitled that I think this is is standard good manners?

I’m not talking a five course dinner, I’m talking a drink… n yes I would buy the second. If we made it that far?

I think it comes down to how the person has been thought and witnessed, I feel mangers is something that’s given from me but we all aren’t the same

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I have no issue holding open doors, or having them held open. If someone is close enough to warrant it.

Drinks, I usually buy the first one, but happy to buy the second otherwise. I think that of someone has invited me out, they will know me well enough to know I pay my way.

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By *anniellaBiTSTV/TS
over a year ago

Bolton

I found something that is both annoying and complimentary (as a transwoman anyway).

I have found men are more likely to help me if my cleavage is on show.

The Uber driver yesterday actually carried my shopping up a flight of stairs to my front door for me.

My general philosophy though is everyone's default setting is to good/nice.

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