FabSwingers.com forum: Can you just be friends after sex?

By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.

What is your view shout it? I would agree with them that it would be very hard to let go of the sexual ffeelings for eachother after having sex together to just hang out as friends and maybe not to have sex anymore

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I've managed it, Shag. It depends on the situation I think.

Mrs TMN x

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

No. Never

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

Simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have done it , it really depends on the situation for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Yes you can. I am friends with my first meet from Fab still, we don't do the sex anymore but we do find time for lunch or coffee time allowing.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

Yes! Very easily!

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By *aissez-faireMan
over a year ago

Right behind you…. Boo

Sex and feelings? Are you’re talking about a relationship?

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

For me, it's unlikely that I'd just hang out and be friends if we've already had sex

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Cool if you can. My wife does.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Absolutely as they all start as friends

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

If your sexual relationship is built atop a genuine friendship, then the friendship is still there when you take away sex. So, yes absolutely. In fact, it’s easier than you might think x

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

It’s usually quite hard even impossible for one of you especially at first.

But long-term yes, if you care about each other, there wasn’t any betrayal and both truly value the friendship, rather than one of you just hoping you will get back together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I'd just hang out as friends but I'd still keep in touch and stuff. Unless the sex was truly awful then no.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Not difficult at all, I’m friends with lots of people I’ve had sex with. I think it has a lot to do with how you view the people you have sex with, are they sexual objects or are they people?

Mr DD

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By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

Yes I do believe you can be. Of course it depends on the relationship you have.

Life isn't all about sex, and people need to get on more with each other better, sure you may never be best friends but there is no need for not being friendly with each other.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Yes. We started as sexual partners and are more compatible as just friends, it did take a lot of work from both of us to get over the sexual incompatibility side, but we made it to a platonic friendship with no sexual physical contact at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're both on the same page then yes you can. If one of you is still hoping it will happen again, its not going to end well.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Not difficult at all, I’m friends with lots of people I’ve had sex with. I think it has a lot to do with how you view the people you have sex with, are they sexual objects or are they people?

Mr DD"

I don't think not hanging out with someone you've previously had sex with means you view them as nothing more than a sexual object

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By *ake_or_deathMan
over a year ago

Manchester

It's not difficult at all. I'm friends with a few women that I met through dating, had sex with while we went on initial dates but then realised we weren't right as a couple but stayed friends instead. As long as I didn't develop unrequited feelings for the other person, the fact that I've had sex with them doesn't make a difference to me wanting to hang out with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're both on the same page then yes you can. If one of you is still hoping it will happen again, its not going to end well."

I agree… all depends on how you envisage the first meet and your expectations thereafter..

Can be as easy or as complicated as you make it

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Not difficult at all, I’m friends with lots of people I’ve had sex with. I think it has a lot to do with how you view the people you have sex with, are they sexual objects or are they people?

Mr DD

I don't think not hanging out with someone you've previously had sex with means you view them as nothing more than a sexual object "

I’m not saying it does for everyone but there is a sizeable chunk of men especially, who see women as people to have sex with, not be friends with.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Depends Shag. Sometimes people think it’s friendship but often it’s not.

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

It’s situational I think. Some people I would not remain friends with as they’d treated me badly but there are some where I care about our friendship and will always have time for them x

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
over a year ago

The last house on the left…

Once I’ve got rid of my Baby Batter & am thinking clearly....Yeah, we can be friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The theory is great, but i think in practice some people struggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well yeah of course, why wouldn't I? I have loads of really cute friends who I can fuck or play video games with? Yes please!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Yes. My best friend in the entire universe apart from E.T. is someone I met for sex 14 years ago and we are staunch friends who see each other regularly but we are no longer sexual with each other.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I've come back to this because to me ....... it's more to do with how you view sex in the first place than anything else.

Those who have grasped/taken on board that sex is simply a human function or a human need and that is isn't necessary to be married or be jealous or possess or lay down all the rules that go with societally constructed institutions and associated behaviours are more at ease with the place of sex in their lives.

Sex has been given far to high a profile in matters.. and it is guarded jealously in many ways.

Those adhering to the above will stand little chance in friendship outside of sex as that is how they view the opposite sex .... whether they know it or not.

Just for sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as your both clear what you want then yes it’s manageable.

It’s just about being honest and clear about what you both want, if you’re not then it gets awkward and can ruin a friendship yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it depends on how deep the feelings are but it’s possible, I’ve managed to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it's possible, I've a couple of good friends who I've had sex with and we're great mates without it being repeated. One I've stayed at her place a few times without anything happening again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess it depends on how deep the feelings are but it’s possible, I’ve managed to do it. "

So you think if the feelings are too intense you can't be friends?

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

yes you can still be friends i know

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I've managed it, Shag. It depends on the situation I think.

Mrs TMN x"
That is good _wist my nipples that you have managed to do it and yes, it depends on the situation as well

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"Simples

"
That is good

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

100 percent. I'm civil with everyone I've slept with that I still have some contact with and am friends with 2 x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess it depends on how deep the feelings are but it’s possible, I’ve managed to do it.

So you think if the feelings are too intense you can't be friends?"

You can still be friends but if you have those intense feelings for each other is it really just friends? Or is one person hoping for something more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess it depends on how deep the feelings are but it’s possible, I’ve managed to do it.

So you think if the feelings are too intense you can't be friends?

You can still be friends but if you have those intense feelings for each other is it really just friends? Or is one person hoping for something more. "

I'm in a situation where I want to be friends but for them, they can't be friends. Its very hard to understand why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I be friends before sex, sure it makes better sex. Can I be friends after depends on how I establish my friendahip.it deoends how you get on with each other.

Ive met half a dozen in a decade its called quality people I chatted with got on with met and were friends at the time. Folks move on though. Things get in the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess it depends on how deep the feelings are but it’s possible, I’ve managed to do it.

So you think if the feelings are too intense you can't be friends?

You can still be friends but if you have those intense feelings for each other is it really just friends? Or is one person hoping for something more.

I'm in a situation where I want to be friends but for them, they can't be friends. Its very hard to understand why

I think for some people it’s really difficult to put the feelings they have aside and settle for being just friends. I’m sorry, it’s an awful situation to be in, especially if you still want that person in your life

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By *amieLDN22Man
over a year ago

London

I remember watching this scene and thinking 'what a load of Hollywood nonsense' at the time.

Of course you can be friends. In ancient societies sex between friends was very common. Actually, you're much more likely to have sex with friends than anyone else - just make sure you're all on the same page and talk to each other honestly.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

You both have to be on the same page but hell yes. I knobbed my closest male friend and we laughed about it afterwards and agreed that we would never do that again. Now we are 100% platonic and really close.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Yes you can

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Depends on the two people. Not everyone can.

I've been in situations which I've wanted more. Situations they have wanted more. Situions neither did. Situations we both did.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

"Of course it's possible, I've a couple of good friends who I've had sex with and we're great mates without it being repeated. One I've stayed at her place a few times without anything happening again. "

Easy...totally agree

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yes you can be. If you're both open and honest with each other, can navigate feelings, it's doable.

There are times when it won't work. I quite like a close friend. I know he likes me too. But I also know that right now it would be an utter disaster. So, I'm sticking to our friendship because that's the most important thing to me. He's been there for me through a lot of things. And vice versa.

It's not worth throwing that away for a quick fumble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.

That’s happened to me in two marriages now lol

No sex but my very best friend

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

[Removed by poster at 12/11/23 11:20:14]

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"Can I be friends before sex, sure it makes better sex. Can I be friends after depends on how I establish my friendahip.it deoends how you get on with each other.

Ive met half a dozen in a decade its called quality people I chatted with got on with met and were friends at the time. Folks move on though. Things get in the way.

"
Hi becs and yes, those are good examples of before and after and yes, it also depends how you get on with eachother too

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I have done it , it really depends on the situation for sure. "
That is good you have done it and yes, it also depends on the situation too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. They're of no use to me if they won't fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not the sex that ruins a friendship, it's when an emotional connection forms that is above friendship, and makes it difficult to go back.

It's all a bit of a minefield.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

It takes emotional maturity, on both sides, but yes.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Yes, of course.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Yes definitely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not in my experiences, I had a friend with benefits that turned into something serious because the sex wasn't enough or so we thought. The relationship turned into a train wreck rather quickly so we decided to just be friends again, after ending up having sex again and again we found we were using each other as emotional crutches and rather than try finding new meaningful relationships we just ended up having sex because it was easy but when it eventually ended it wasn't good and we ended up hurting each other to the point were we couldn't be together in any context.

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

I have a few friends that I have had sex with... Some I have repeated the experience with some I haven't but we are friends above everything and there is no awkwardness or anything when we spend time together

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

Lots of variables. Lots of different factors. But yes, i think you can be.

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have done and still am but have had times when I've just been absolutely blanked afterwards so just depends on the person/people

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

Absolutely,, it only takes 2 like minded, easy going people,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had sex with someone, found them hot before sex, but sadly never wanted to have sex with them again. They are far too vanilla for me, and sexually we are just too different. Brilliant person. We have a great laugh together as friends. We remain friends never snogging, or shagging since that first time again but friends nonetheless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ditto

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"Yes you can. I am friends with my first meet from Fab still, we don't do the sex anymore but we do find time for lunch or coffee time allowing. "
That is good that it works for you too

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By *un couple 2Couple
over a year ago

Tynemouth.

ive been having sex with a guy for over 11yrs now, and yes its more than sex, i do have feelings for him, its not love, as i have my hubby for that, but felings for him. Sam x

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By *eardyBikerMan
over a year ago

nr stonehaven

Yeah...can be done ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope so! I do believe its possible but have yet to experience it. Some are ashamed of how you met or find it difficult if they get a new partner

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

Simple fuck so yup...

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

Yes, this has happened happened with someone who i had an arrangement with. Now one of my closest friends.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Sure done it sex was just something that happened at the moment that happened more than once. It's just the kinda chemistry we have as friends and the mix with no attachment

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By *ileen doverWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I can/could but don’t think they could as I think they think of me as a sexual object

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By *inkyfun2013Couple
over a year ago

lewisham

"It's not the sex that ruins a friendship, it's when an emotional connection forms that is above friendship, and makes it difficult to go back.

It's all a bit of a minefield."

This. Friends after casual sex - yes. Friends after a real relationship - much harder and I've never managed it.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Yes. I’ve done it loads of times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep. I have former play partners I'm still friends with. I had dinner today with a couple and an ex couple who are still good friends and in business together.

As others have said, it ultimately depends on your specific dynamic and if there was a solid friendship there, as well as the sex, in the first place.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

of course you can..

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.

Of course. I've had sex with most of my male friends at some point in time but we remain friends with nothing "weird" and no "expectation" that any or every time we meet, it would lead to sex. Society makes sex too fucking taboo. Sex to me is like sharing a pint with a mate, good fun but not "binding" in any way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't become friends with anyone I have sex with, as it saves any awkwardness or feelings getting in the way.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.

This happens all the time in the swinging world within circles of friends. Might have sex once or twice at a party or gathering and then just see eachother elsewhere later as friends but not do anything as both busy elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and no… either friends not at all (not for the lack of trying) or yes but the still want sex so no … it’s complicated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.

Fancy grabbing a pint mate

haha

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.

Sure, you can bang without wanting to be a couple. Romance is not the same as sexual desire.

You can even have regular sex with someone, without any feelings, and without getting along great while talking.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"Yes, this has happened happened with someone who i had an arrangement with. Now one of my closest friends. "
That is good that it worked for you too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I've had this

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast

For sure! Still have a friend who I fucked once only. She's one of the funniest people I know, you couldn't possibly fall out with that woman

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By *xcited And CuriousCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

Surely it depends on the two parties? One may be fine with it while the other may not.

Few relationships end mutually. Surely then one person could very easily still have feelings of sexual attraction - how then can that couple remain just friends?

This is a forum on a swinger website, so obviously considering the membership of primarily polyamorous people, approaches to relationships will likely be different from "the norm"?

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"For sure! Still have a friend who I fucked once only. She's one of the funniest people I know, you couldn't possibly fall out with that woman

"
That is good

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

I'd like to think so..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course you can close friends

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

Definitely can, but that’s not to say the thought of a repeat performance isn’t at the back of the mind somewhere.

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By *enatton2Couple
over a year ago

West Midlands

We have played with a few people who were and still are friends, still get along with all of them. No issues at all.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"We have played with a few people who were and still are friends, still get along with all of them. No issues at all. "
That is good that it is working too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes especially if the sex was shit

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

My latest pics were taken by a friend who I've had sex with a few times. We know each other from the vanilla world anyway, and now she has a new boyfriend who doesn't swing.

She was kind enough to do the pics for me but got no more involved than that.

Gbat

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Bodmin

Yes - I have couple of good mates following on from meet

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By *ave1976XXXMan
over a year ago

newmarket

100% yes. Lucky enough to have two friends that I regularly see and we are great friends. They both see other people and we have great chats about the fun we have without anything being awkward

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By *lwayshornyrMan
over a year ago

runcorn

Absolutely yes! I have many friends that I still get on well with and talk to after having had great sex sessions with them

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

Lots of experience of it working that way.

Prefer it that way.

Always feels a bit weird when the communication completely stops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have done plenty of times but there are sometimes some people where you just can't as you have that need for them

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

Yes, with some people it's been easy to remain friends.

With others, not a chance.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

[Removed by poster at 03/12/23 06:18:33]

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Yes absolutely.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.

Aahh that's cute

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By *unnoisseurMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Very easily done. Just gotta be open and honest from the jump if you pardon the pun. Got friends that I’ve fucked before becoming friends and friends I’ve fucked after that I’m still friends with whether we fuck or not.

Still friends with a few ex’s that were genuine girlfriends and not just FWB’s.

The problem is only there when you lie to get sex. I’d rather not have sex than lie and tell someone what I think they want to hear. That’s not a friend IMO.

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By *unnoisseurMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Someone could be having a real shitty day and they just need their fanny rubbed.

I think it would be wrong if I didn’t say come here. Give em a hug a nice fanny rub a chat and a nice hot cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Friendship Removed by poster at 03/12/23 06:18:33]"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.

Outlook.. Shag n go.

Shag continously with nsa

Shag turns into feelings.. Your choice what shag you have Shag

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By *ete le MeatMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire/ Notts

I'm friends still with a few women I've slept with however some get into relationships and don't want to know. 50-50 I'd say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’re a shit shag but she likes your company then she might want a friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely. A endless amount of circumstances as to why the sex has happened. I’m still friends and good friend's at that with many people I have slept with outside of fab. Even on fab there are people I stay in touch with and would call them a friend

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Yes

I have model friends where we just fuck then forget it and carry on as normal friends

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Yes I have achieved that with a couple of guys. You both need to be on the same page tho otherwise it probably won't work.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Yes. 100%

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I was watching something gotta give last night and there when nicholson talked to diane on the scene, they talked a little about it, they werent so sure by the sound of it.

Outlook.. Shag n go.

Shag continously with nsa

Shag turns into feelings.. Your choice what shag you have Shag "
Hi becks and yes, it depends on what choice too

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