FabSwingers.com forum: Has anyone else given up looking on here?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

It used to take me at least a year to find another friend with benefits when one ended. It takes patience to find someone compatible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It comes and goes.

I've known and do know some great guys. The problem is me not them though.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I stopped swinging about three years ago now. Having swung all my adult life I think I finally burnt myself out. Then my partner died and there is no way I want another man near me. When I'm here I'm just here for the forums

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By *searchingMan
over a year ago

hmmm

I’m all too often giving up. This place grinds you down and lifts you up in unequal measure. I’m kinda back for the forums

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Did you give up and if so why?"

Yes.

People stopped replying.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I stopped a long time ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A long time ago

In a galaxy far far away

Wonko gave up looking

for hot kinky chick's

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t think I really look to be honest. It’s always just kind of happened when I least expected it.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I’m all too often giving up. This place grinds you down and lifts you up in unequal measure. I’m kinda back for the forums"

Good to see you back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It kinda comes and goes. A couple of months ago, I was ready to give up on it altogether thinking I'd never find what I'm looking for.

But a couple of good meets and experiences have meant that even if I'm still looking, not all hope has been lost on meeting people and that's really helped me.

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I’ve taken a “don’t message first” approach nowadays.

Sorry to say it, but the behaviour of single guys on here has an awful lot to answer for.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"It’s always just kind of happened when I least expected it. "

Have you tried TENA lady?

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By *pstanding CitizenMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Not had a meet or as much as a reply for that long, so I get the feeling sometimes

Always try and stay positive though, you never know what might happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not met anyone the entire time I've had this profile. I don't actively look. I just enjoy the forums and chat with people I like. Not in a rush.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It kinda comes and goes. A couple of months ago, I was ready to give up on it altogether thinking I'd never find what I'm looking for.

But a couple of good meets and experiences have meant that even if I'm still looking, not all hope has been lost on meeting people and that's really helped me."

Really glad to hear that, Joe

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Given up, yup, checked out mostly too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Did you give up and if so why?

Yes.

People stopped replying."

I've replied! You were lost in a sea of one snakes and sunglasses

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Been here years. Dipped our toes, had a quick paddle and now just stay for the forum.

Katie.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It used to take me at least a year to find another friend with benefits when one ended. It takes patience to find someone compatible."

I can really believe that too.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"It comes and goes.

I've known and do know some great guys. The problem is me not them though.

This

a few years ago it was great for me here I was meeting a couple of single women per month. This year / last year well it’s a drought and mostly just had socials or a few couples to hang with. Though 90% of my meets here this year were non sexual

I have wrote this year off here and just meeting people elsewhere Next year hopefully the game picks up here but it’s been sub par lady wide this year for me

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By *searchingMan
over a year ago

hmmm

"I’m all too often giving up. This place grinds you down and lifts you up in unequal measure. I’m kinda back for the forums

Good to see you back "

Lovely to see you still here

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I refuse to give up, I'm stubborn like that.

They really do come along (or back round like a boomeranged) when you least expect it.

I adore my crispy ostrich, and seeing him has kind of given me the confidence to find someone else.

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Yes long ago I just here as enjoy these forums

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Never give up.

I’ve met people who have shaken my world. In a good way. This been a while since I met someone like that, but if it’s happened before, there’s no reason why it can’t happen again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t proactively message anyone new off Fab these days, and any free time I get (rarely tbf) I’ll go to Kestrel Spa / AbFabs and see what pops up, so to speak

Usually leave with a smile on my face so why change what works?

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

It's been nearly 3 years since I actively stopped looking...the only time I meet someone I know or new people are through a social I attend sometimes x

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Not given up as such but we don't put as much effort in to trying to arrange meets as we once did.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"It’s always just kind of happened when I least expected it.

Have you tried TENA lady?"

. I wondered who that was for a minute!

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By *ary69321Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

Me too, I'm too old for most, I don't even get CDs or TS interested in me, I spoken to more for tribbing pictures, I don't mind doing that, but a thank you would be nice.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

We’ve never really gone looking, just engaged to see who, or if, we connect with anyone. In the past this happened quite easily, but other than a degree of decency and honesty, we didn’t place a huge amount of expectations on the people we met. These days, we aren’t meeting anyone we haven’t met before.

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Never say never! I've always described dating, and indeed looking for a swinging partner as a bit like playing a bandit in a social club, the odds are that you are going to lose most of the time, but there's always the odd chance of hitting the jackpot, and at least with this site, you don't even have to stake your wages taking a punt on here.

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By *ddie1966Man
over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

I'm sure the wait will be worth it.

Don't give up.

You're a smashing person and deserve the best.

They'll find you when you least expect it.

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By *leasureseekers123Couple
over a year ago

Hythe

We use the site for club meets and chatting now. For any other meets we use another pay site. Fabs dynamics have changed over the last 15 years (spoken like a true old couple!) which is fine but means we move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"

It puts me off sex.

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By *tevieboyyyMan
over a year ago

Waterlooville

I joined before meeting occasional FWB via Tinder, I'm married and wifey is all good with it.

Out with a platonic girlfriend Friday evening, another platonic girlfriend for a day/evening out to a coastal town a-week-Sunday, and dinner with another platonic girlfriend the following week (we go camping together).

Also have quite a few other female friends.

I have no intention of having sex with any of these people - they are my friends!

When I go to festivals solo, normally hook up in a platonic way with other women and just hang out.

Don't be creepy, have no expectation, be OPEN, give off nice vibe, smile - have no desperation. Give unconditional love.

Also smell nice and shower! Or if camping, wetwipes!

There is more to life than a cheap bonk!

Hey who wants a cheap bonk?

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By *lendermanMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I don't attempt to meet people on here anymore. The ratio of men to women makes it difficult to even get a response, and I don't intend to try and compete with 10000 men for the attention of a woman.

The forum is cool though. Sometimes get to see tits which is nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never give up .. be strong .. that's us Irish moto

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We've never actively looked for meets on Fab, we mainly do clubs.

Nita

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

I stopped looking a while ago. Still chat to a few great people on here and every now and again someone surprises me with a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't attempt to meet people on here anymore. The ratio of men to women makes it difficult to even get a response, and I don't intend to try and compete with 10000 men for the attention of a woman.

The forum is cool though. Sometimes get to see tits which is nice "

It's the same in the Irish forum .. lots of lads than women .. its still good craic .. yis should chat on the Irish forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm ready to give up & delete, i'm no good at online chat & probably come off as weird, all i getvus fake profiles or men wanting wank stuff, profile says straight help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm ready to give up & delete, i'm no good at online chat & probably come off as weird, all i getvus fake profiles or men wanting wank stuff, profile says straight help!"

You need a profile pic .. it might help?

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By *isterE ManMan
over a year ago

Taunton

Not given up yet. Found a very nice woman I play with when I am free.

Took a while to find since looking down south, rather than in Manchester.

Takes time to find someone you get on with. I am always looking to meet new and interesting people (social and play) but, you message all goes well.... and they just vanish...

I would love more socials near me though.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Everyone is a happy bunch tonight

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I sometimes feel like I should, but then I get distracted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It certainly is strange on here now, as someone else said about it being them and not other people. Im wondering the same. Giving up does seem like the peaceful option.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

I'm just here. See where things lead, I'm not looking for relationships or anything but it's more than just find person x y z for The sex.

Found a few awesome people though.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Not given up but adjusted my expectations, enjoy the forums, don’t waste hours and hours on here and let it run my life.

Live life, enjoy time with friends and doing things I enjoy.

If the right person chooses to want to play with me then happy days indeed

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Everyone is a happy bunch tonight

I think it's a bit of a mood right now.

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By *jj2012Man
over a year ago

Barry

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"

Forum is always a good place to get to know people and strike up a conversation as I think we all get so many messages it's hard to filter through them all sometimes x

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Genuinely don't know why I'm here any more. But I'm still here so there must be some reason.

I stopped looking about 3 years ago, then found the love of my life and an incredible tribe of people, some of whom I've even seen naked

All on fab... when I wasn't looking and didn't expect it. Shit happens. Some is even good shit.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Never give up!!!

Never surrender!!!

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By *r X46Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Ah, that's why it's hard to get meets, no-one is looking.

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

Long time ago... literally just use the forums and perv a bit. Never msg or get msgs or winks etc. Single guy syndrome.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Never give up!!!

Never surrender!!!

That's more like it!!

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By *aissez-faireMan
over a year ago

Right behind you…. Boo

I find the forums diverting but I don’t think I’ve even used the search facility. I might actually give it a go…. Time to check your filters ladies

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By *an de LyonMan
over a year ago

welling

Yeah I have accepted I am no one’s cup of tea (apart from gay men trying to ‘turn’ me) but I do enjoy the chat on the forums when I am pissed snd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago.

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

What I find odd is when someone goes out of their way to message you then just doesn't reply. Was it to see if I'd reply? The mind boggles

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I'm not sure I was ever really looking. This place is handy to see what's on at the clubs. And I've been lucky to have someone amazing find me on here, and reconnected with an old old flame through this place too. I'm grateful for the people I have because of fab.

But actively seeking? I don't think I've ever done it.

For now, I've hidden the profile and am just occasionally checking the forums. The constant flow of unwanted noodles in my inbox was getting depressing, so I'm skipping that part for now. It's a lot more effective than having a blatantly not interested profile saying I'm only here to see what's on at the clubs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think my best bet is to show up at a club at the weekend and just do that from now on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seems there's quite a few of us that can't be bothered anymore.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I think I've given up generally. So it's not you fab it's me.

In seriousness (no sarcasm). I've connected with some wonderful people on here.

Which is very fortunate considering what a headcase I am.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I come and go a lot from Fab these days and don’t bother actively looking anymore.

If someone piques my interest on the forums or somewhere then, great.

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By *isfun2023Couple
over a year ago

wakefield

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"

We won't be renewing we feel the same

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By *unflirtycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We're about too give up. GF prefers the clubs for getting a better feel about a person face to face conversation rather than on here.

And I'm just bored

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I pretty much just use fab for online chat with friends, forums and keeping me entertained on long night shifts.

I've met some lovely people at fab socials and had some very lovely meets, but most of my friends I've met indirectly.

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By *ifestyle1Man
over a year ago

me171

Had met friends in 4 for years and now I'm just enjoying my time. It's just exhausted now here

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By *inky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I kind of gave up, but probably for completely different reasons than you.

Like your new username by the way.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Well I still love Fab. I continue to meet lovely people. Some have become great and dear friends. Fab has been very good to me.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

[Removed by poster at 09/11/23 23:12:36]

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I'm not sure I've ever truly cared. I would definitely have played the game more if I did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I give up, then have a flurry of activity and then give up again.

But I'm an undesirable prospect on here, so I understand I'm far from everyone's cup of tea.

So I try to enjoy the forums and join in when I can. X

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By *hippers78Man
over a year ago

po6 3lz

Yeah, I've given up, only ever had two ladies message me back, tried approaching it from lots of angles,

The forums seem fun though, I've sat on the sidelines for a while, just reading through the comments, I guess that makes me a forum voyeur x

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Noo all good on the sea front

always has been

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No haven't given up. I dont actively look but somehow find or get found.

I keep an open mind in regards to meeting people as you never know who is a keeper until you meet. The ones I've almost not met based purely on interaction or profiles turn out to be regulars.

Judging purely from online interactions is almost impossible to get right I think.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"I stopped swinging about three years ago now. Having swung all my adult life I think I finally burnt myself out. Then my partner died and there is no way I want another man near me. When I'm here I'm just here for the forums"

I’m sorry about your partner x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I've given up generally. So it's not you fab it's me.

In seriousness (no sarcasm). I've connected with some wonderful people on here.

Which is very fortunate considering what a headcase I am."

Can I borrow that book after you? it might help.

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By *ifestyle1Man
over a year ago

me171

Not easy when you try to approach here and get silly messages. It's nice to interact in forums

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

I have had two Fwb in this dimension , one I met at a kink event and the other off a meet off here and we really hit it off...went on holidays etc

I like to use fab to date ladies ...like dancing and chatting ..it plays to my strengths I guess..

Wish there was a dating option on here.. I do wonder if the more you look the less you seem to be able to find.

Have you tried feeld ..I've just signed up and it looks a great site ..a mix of tinder , fab and the kink site we can't write the name of

Happy hunting

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"I'm not sure I was ever really looking. This place is handy to see what's on at the clubs. And I've been lucky to have someone amazing find me on here, and reconnected with an old old flame through this place too. I'm grateful for the people I have because of fab.

But actively seeking? I don't think I've ever done it.

I take breaks when the site grates too much. I think this is the longest I’ve ever been on here and been active again. It’s been a few weeks. Over time my priorities here have changed as well. And will probably change some more. The forums are definitely my favourite part of the site.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"

This my third time here. I didn't re-invent myself, I became true to myself.

I treat it as an embellishment to my life, it's easy to let it become your life.

I really hope that you find your "comfort zone" here.

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By *ifestyle1Man
over a year ago

me171

I give up messaging new people, some how I'm just don't seem to get feedback

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I think I've given up generally. So it's not you fab it's me.

In seriousness (no sarcasm). I've connected with some wonderful people on here.

Which is very fortunate considering what a headcase I am.

Can I borrow that book after you? it might help."

Of course, Nina knows the score. She's wicked smart!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm ready to give up & delete, i'm no good at online chat & probably come off as weird, all i getvus fake profiles or men wanting wank stuff, profile says straight help!

You need a profile pic .. it might help?"

What to post, not face & dick pic not gonna attract ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, I’ll give up when I stop breathing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have had two Fwb in this dimension , one I met at a kink event and the other off a meet off here and we really hit it off...went on holidays etc

I like to use fab to date ladies ...like dancing and chatting ..it plays to my strengths I guess..

Wish there was a dating option on here.. I do wonder if the more you look the less you seem to be able to find.

Have you tried feeld ..I've just signed up and it looks a great site ..a mix of tinder , fab and the kink site we can't write the name of

Happy hunting "

Tried 4 different apps.

Feels was one of them but I gave up and have been deleting them all!

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By *ixiekissesWoman
over a year ago

Happy place

I stay hopeful I guess, mostly enjoy the forum and keeping up to date with longstanding friends.

I'm too old for most

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By *oJo pornstarMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Not so much given up as I haven't started yet. I started "swinging" at a very early age as a single then as a couple, played for many years until I became single again, I am not long out of a 9 year vanilla relationship so back to fab, and as of yet I haven't put the effort in to make a go of fab, no new pics, still old profile, I don't make 1st contact ect.

So no complaints until I up my game

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"I stay hopeful I guess, mostly enjoy the forum and keeping up to date with longstanding friends.

I'm too old for most

I'm to old for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gave up actively looking a long time ago

I’m not in a rush to meet anyone new people at the minute anyway.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I've not actively looked for anyone for a long time. Years.

I think sometimes the site has the potential to make a person feel meh, a bit cynical. Frustrated even?

I like keeping things fairly simple - talk to people I think are interesting and not with a view of talking to meet them. I've found that things really work well when I least expect them to. It just... all falls into place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"

When your not looking it might happen, one question though do you message anyone who you like the look of or do you expect the guy to make the first move

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

I keep popping in, over winter, for a butchers hook. Swinging is mainly a summer sport for me, like tennis.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

I'm always optimistic, because new people can be fun.

I also know I'm not putting a commensurate amount of effort getting what I want.

So I expect a zero sum game.

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By *ainbows_can_be_metal_tooCouple
over a year ago

Darlington

Gave up a few times with the constant dick pics but always come back.

We've learned that it's the social aspect we crave more than anything else, with us branching out and trying make friends across the country for when we plan weekends away and just want someone to meet and chat with we are often seen as time wasters by people thinking we will never meet.

But we may be going dark starting Tuesday for a few months. I'm getting the snip and don't need all these sexy pics as temptation. I may pop a stitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Gave up a few times with the constant dick pics but always come back.

But we may be going dark starting Tuesday for a few months. I'm getting the snip and don't need all these sexy pics as temptation. I may pop a stitch

Eeeeek good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I never started.

It's not the place to be looking for anything besides friends who share a similar lifestyle or outlook.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Yeah we don't look, if we happen to chat to someone then great but seeking out meets on here isn't for me.

I'd much rather meet people at the social events face to face than try here, the small talk, trying to get face pics and all that is a bit tedious.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"

Shame you’re thinking about giving up OP, cracking little bio you have

I’m an eternal optimist so I shall keep plugging away

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By *andyman4uanddiscreetMan
over a year ago

oxford

I have given up, as never had a meet and always send a face pic and never get one back, i think most are just fantasists or guys preteding to be couples ...forums for me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"
I've given up .....meets aren't a problem but quality meets....the majority of my meets have been one-sided satisfaction.

I was vocal with my last attempt...I told him the meets I'd had how dissatisfied I was and the reasons why . We met ... had a social . We chatted quite a bit then we organized a day to play ..I got dolled up ....went over to his , when I dressed down he got all grabby talking about how hot I was and ...he came on his second stroke ...rolled over like he died and asked me if I wanted a cuppa.

And no I wasn't disappointed that he came quick I was disappointed that THAT WAS IT , THE END. THERE WAS NO thought to me being satisfied , he got his fill from a 2 minute pump.

He contacted me everyday after to find out when we would play again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"

Yeah giving up is the best option.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We are looking for locals now we are established in one area.

2 conversations yesterday - single woman and single guy - neither asked one question - just answered our questions.

How do people have conversations and build connections without asking questions! How!

The art of conversation is lost.

Much easier at socials…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s just easier everywhere else

It’s about 50/50 whether I pull on a night out and the apps get me a fair few dates/meets a month

Where as my experience here was most messages don’t even get opened, just lost in an inbox

Personally I don’t see why so many guys stick around

Maybe because they don’t have any other options.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone else think it’s weird that most women can go to a pub with 50 people and find a few nice guys worth chatting too and maybe taking one home or exchanging numbers

But on here where they’re outnumbered 100 to 1, hundreds of messages a day, and most women say they struggle with quality meets

Just a coincidence?

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By *hiversMan
over a year ago

Dinas Powys

I come and go from the site and stopped actively looking a while ago.

Still open to chatting and meeting, but there seem to be more time wasters than ever so I rarely initiate anything any more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you give up and if so why?"

What does giving up mean on Fabs? Actually using this to meet people? I don't appeal to most and that's fine. If in the happenstance, I tick someone's box and they tick mine then cool, otherwise I'm not "hunting" and have zero expectations.

I still enjoy chatting shit and wasting time on the forums when I have the time to waste. I actually don't think many here are swingers, just people who like sex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why? I've given up .....meets aren't a problem but quality meets....the majority of my meets have been one-sided satisfaction.

And no I wasn't disappointed that he came quick I was disappointed that THAT WAS IT , THE END. THERE WAS NO thought to me being satisfied , he got his fill from a 2 minute pump.

He contacted me everyday after to find out when we would play again."

That's awful, I hope you left them all verifications highlight their selfishness!

I've been told this a few times but women on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you give up and if so why?

I still enjoy chatting shit and wasting time on the forums when I have the time to waste.

**I actually don't think many here are swingers, just people who like sex.**"

** What's the difference?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why? I've given up .....meets aren't a problem but quality meets....the majority of my meets have been one-sided satisfaction.

And no I wasn't disappointed that he came quick I was disappointed that THAT WAS IT , THE END. THERE WAS NO thought to me being satisfied , he got his fill from a 2 minute pump.

He contacted me everyday after to find out when we would play again.

That's awful, I hope you left them all verifications highlight their selfishness!

I've been told this a few times but women on here. "
I don’t ever leave a bad verify I usually put what happened and trust ppl read what didn't happen.

I've actually stop leaving verifications now when the meets have been disappointing....frustration has just taken over and I can't be bothered.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Just dipping in and out now of forums and to see if anyone is heading to clubs...

Been a while since met a genuine swinger type kindred spirit off a random message on here so don't bother... but it's all good

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Don't think we've actually properly sought anything as yet, once we got together we had some time just for ourselves and then when we did become ready to meet others life has just threw obstacles in the way.

Hoping next year will be a different story.

For now it's mostly forums and the odd browse

Tinder

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By *he LsCouple
over a year ago

East Midlands

"We are looking for locals now we are established in one area.

2 conversations yesterday - single woman and single guy - neither asked one question - just answered our questions.

How do people have conversations and build connections without asking questions! How!

The art of conversation is lost.

Much easier at socials…

We get this a lot, it's why we prefer clubs and socials.

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By *eltic connectionCouple
over a year ago

Manningtree

Mr has been on and off the site almost since it started. It has sadly lost its way as a swingers site over the years.

It's now mostly desperate men just out for anything they can get. Absolutely nothing to do with swinging!

There are fortunately still a few true swingers who actually understand the lifestyle but finding them is the challenge.

We will continue until a better option comes along.

We now find clubs to be the best option by far and have made some amazing friends from club meetings.

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By *anJXMan
over a year ago

Warrington

Yeah I get no replies

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Within a short time, we realised it wasn't worth looking, so we don't. Think we sent maybe 3 first messages and that was it.

I read the first lot of couples are evil threads and didn't want to be seen that way.

We have lots of filters on so always reply either way to messages recieved but other "places" are better for actual meets.

MrsAbz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why? I've given up .....meets aren't a problem but quality meets....the majority of my meets have been one-sided satisfaction.

And no I wasn't disappointed that he came quick I was disappointed that THAT WAS IT , THE END. THERE WAS NO thought to me being satisfied , he got his fill from a 2 minute pump.

He contacted me everyday after to find out when we would play again.

That's awful, I hope you left them all verifications highlight their selfishness!

I've been told this a few times but women on here. I don’t ever leave a bad verify I usually put what happened and trust ppl read what didn't happen.

I've actually stop leaving verifications now when the meets have been disappointing....frustration has just taken over and I can't be bothered."

Don't want to hijack this thread or just take this to dm's but I'm curious, did this person have veris you looked at before meeting?

Not that I think veris are everything but just wondering.

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"I have had two Fwb in this dimension , one I met at a kink event and the other off a meet off here and we really hit it off...went on holidays etc

I like to use fab to date ladies ...like dancing and chatting ..it plays to my strengths I guess..

Wish there was a dating option on here.. I do wonder if the more you look the less you seem to be able to find.

Have you tried feeld ..I've just signed up and it looks a great site ..a mix of tinder , fab and the kink site we can't write the name of

Happy hunting

Tried 4 different apps.

Feels was one of them but I gave up and have been deleting them all!"

I'm on buzz and tinder and meet a lot of nice ladies on them ..it doesn't normally end well if I bring up the Fwb suggestion ...I find it very frustrating...and don't like having these awkward discussions ... particularly if a d*unken night has resulted in jumping into bed together.

I found feeld very refreshing , had a date last weekend and it was so nice to have a date, dinner and a drink and talk about what she /we might like to explore sexually ..spent a lovely night at her flat ...and will definitely meet again ,go to a band etc . would give it another go maybe, Must be easier for single ladies ...

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I wouldnt say given up, but I have taken a long break from looking, because there arent anyone nearby

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I wouldnt say given up, but I have taken a long break from looking, because there arent anyone nearby

Have you shagged everyone in London shag?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not invested in the outcome. I'm here to have fun, if people want to join me on the fun bus, great. If not, I have a whole bus to myself. Win

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By *ustintime69Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Oh god what a relief to hear that all the seasoned fabbers, (who I always felt slightly in awe of), are finding themselves in much the same boat as me! I do feel like the dynamics of fab have changed since I first joined it a decade ago and the chances of meeting anyone these days is so rare that I really only visit for a perve and to talk shit in the politics forum (for my sins!)….or maybe I am just getting old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I’m honest I think I gave up long ago. Should anything come of my continued presence on here it will be something of a shock…..

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 10/11/23 09:43:05]

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I wouldnt say given up, but I have taken a long break from looking, because there arent anyone nearby

Have you shagged everyone in London shag?!"
No. I havent done that lol, there are still some left

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have had two Fwb in this dimension , one I met at a kink event and the other off a meet off here and we really hit it off...went on holidays etc

I like to use fab to date ladies ...like dancing and chatting ..it plays to my strengths I guess..

Wish there was a dating option on here.. I do wonder if the more you look the less you seem to be able to find.

Have you tried feeld ..I've just signed up and it looks a great site ..a mix of tinder , fab and the kink site we can't write the name of

Happy hunting

Tried 4 different apps.

Feels was one of them but I gave up and have been deleting them all!

I don't seem to get matches and someone on here talked of shadow bans and if I've got that then I'm screwed. And not in the way I want to be.

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
over a year ago

London or Bedford

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"

Give up on what precisely?

You’re a WOMAN on Fab. More than likely your Inbox is currently flooded with options.

Take your pick

If you haven’t yielded your desired results, it probably because you haven’t chosen wisely.

In the meantime, my Inbox has tumbles blowing by. And I ain’t giving up after yeeeaaars of hardly any replies

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Interacting face to face is always an easier way to determine attraction which can go badly for people, or a hell of a lot better.

I can only speak for the London area here but while there are loads more users, most of those are indeed men. I think women can have hot NSA sex here easily. The amount of London gym bros of nationalities and penis shapes just means it's usually the London men elite that get hot sex with those they would usually meet on a night out.

But those elite London men, seem to have all the free time to fuck. I think their lives revolve around gym and fucking. Which sounds great but ain't gonna work for me!

So all in all its the forums which keep me here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?

Give up on what precisely?

You’re a WOMAN on Fab. More than likely your Inbox is currently flooded with options.

Take your pick

If you haven’t yielded your desired results, it probably because you haven’t chosen wisely.

In the meantime, my Inbox has tumbles blowing by. And I ain’t giving up after yeeeaaars of hardly any replies"

I would challenge you to pick a good choice from a woman's inbox.

Do you have any idea what we get in our boxes to try and pick from?

It's awful. The amount of guys that approach in a crass way and treat us just like a piece of meat and can't even string a sentence together is shocking. Try having a conversation with one and it's just bang your head against a brick wall stuff.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

And no I wasn't disappointed that he came quick I was disappointed that THAT WAS IT , THE END. THERE WAS NO thought to me being satisfied , he got his fill from a 2 minute pump.

He contacted me everyday after to find out when we would play again.

That's awful, I hope you left them all verifications highlight their selfishness!

I've been told this a few times but women on here. I don’t ever leave a bad verify I usually put what happened and trust ppl read what didn't happen.

I've actually stop leaving verifications now when the meets have been disappointing....frustration has just taken over and I can't be bothered.

Don't want to hijack this thread or just take this to dm's but I'm curious, did this person have veris you looked at before meeting?

Not that I think veris are everything but just wondering. "

I've met men with glowing veris... And they've still been massively disappointing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And no I wasn't disappointed that he came quick I was disappointed that THAT WAS IT , THE END. THERE WAS NO thought to me being satisfied , he got his fill from a 2 minute pump.

He contacted me everyday after to find out when we would play again.

That's awful, I hope you left them all verifications highlight their selfishness!

I've been told this a few times but women on here. I don’t ever leave a bad verify I usually put what happened and trust ppl read what didn't happen.

I've actually stop leaving verifications now when the meets have been disappointing....frustration has just taken over and I can't be bothered.

Don't want to hijack this thread or just take this to dm's but I'm curious, did this person have veris you looked at before meeting?

Not that I think veris are everything but just wondering.

I've met men with glowing veris... And they've still been massively disappointing."

And men with glowing veris can also be the worst to hold a conversation with on messages to start with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And no I wasn't disappointed that he came quick I was disappointed that THAT WAS IT , THE END. THERE WAS NO thought to me being satisfied , he got his fill from a 2 minute pump.

He contacted me everyday after to find out when we would play again.

That's awful, I hope you left them all verifications highlight their selfishness!

I've been told this a few times but women on here. I don’t ever leave a bad verify I usually put what happened and trust ppl read what didn't happen.

I've actually stop leaving verifications now when the meets have been disappointing....frustration has just taken over and I can't be bothered.

Don't want to hijack this thread or just take this to dm's but I'm curious, did this person have veris you looked at before meeting?

Not that I think veris are everything but just wondering.

I've met men with glowing veris... And they've still been massively disappointing."

I've always wondered about whether veries can be veried.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I don’t think I ever gave up on this place. What I want from it changed over time, that’s all.

Nowadays I’m just here looking for interesting people. Interesting sexy people, I suppose. Mostly I find them here on the forums. Sometimes I meet up with them. Sometimes that leads to sex.

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By *ottsGuy24Man
over a year ago

Beeston

This place has a poor ROI. The male to female ratio is way too high.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And no I wasn't disappointed that he came quick I was disappointed that THAT WAS IT , THE END. THERE WAS NO thought to me being satisfied , he got his fill from a 2 minute pump.

He contacted me everyday after to find out when we would play again.

That's awful, I hope you left them all verifications highlight their selfishness!

I've been told this a few times but women on here. I don’t ever leave a bad verify I usually put what happened and trust ppl read what didn't happen.

I've actually stop leaving verifications now when the meets have been disappointing....frustration has just taken over and I can't be bothered.

Don't want to hijack this thread or just take this to dm's but I'm curious, did this person have veris you looked at before meeting?

Not that I think veris are everything but just wondering.

I've met men with glowing veris... And they've still been massively disappointing."

One person's great shag is another's shit shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?

Give up on what precisely?

You’re a WOMAN on Fab. More than likely your Inbox is currently flooded with options.

Take your pick

If you haven’t yielded your desired results, it probably because you haven’t chosen wisely.

In the meantime, my Inbox has tumbles blowing by. And I ain’t giving up after yeeeaaars of hardly any replies

I would challenge you to pick a good choice from a woman's inbox.

Do you have any idea what we get in our boxes to try and pick from?

Hence why my minge has shrivelled up.

Although I'm horny today.... need to spend more time on Fab to kill my libido.

Might tick the Men box.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met men with glowing veris... And they've still been massively disappointing.

And men with glowing veris can also be the worst to hold a conversation with on messages to start with."

Well then maybe people haven't been honest with their veris. As you say, if he had a bad start but was happy to ensure you got there then that could have been a win for you both.

Holding a conversation online can be difficult. They may also not be good conversationalist in person but great in bed. I suppose if you're looking for both then that's the challenge.

No easy answer I don't think.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

I might be reaching here, so forgive me if this doesn’t apply (and also, never being a single person on here, I may not understand either), but something that strikes me after reading through all of this is the realistic weight of expectation. I’m not talking about personal standards, respect, decency, honesty, hygiene etc. this is a given. I’m talking about the degree to which people are prepared to make allowances for the fact that other people aren’t perfect, have lives of their own, and are unlikely to fill all of someone else’s requirements. If you want a sexual partner who is hot, stable, grounded, intelligent, emotionally mature, with a great sense of humour, and who is available whenever you want them to be, who will always meet all of your needs, and more, will always know what your needs are on any given day, who’s lives never alter so as not to interfere with your schedules and disrupt your available time, who are always emotionally balanced so as to accommodate your moods and difficulties… and if you want not one of these people but multiple people who are exactly like this… I can’t help but wonder if perhaps this expectation is a little unrealistic.

All of us here are quick to point out that we aren’t perfect. Part of being open to this lifestyle in the first place is having an awareness of one’s self and one’s needs. We are all aware of our flaws, and to a greater or lesser extent, we are all working towards accepting them and making peace with who we are. But are we holding other people to higher standard than we hold ourselves? This is a recipe for loneliness.

Perhaps if we opened ourselves to the idea that other people aren’t perfect either, if finding FWBs included some of the necessary qualities of a lasting relationship, such as compromise and a degree of commitment, we might find it a little easier to make meaningful and lasting connections.

Just a thought. Happy Friday everyone Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I might be reaching here, so forgive me if this doesn’t apply (and also, never being a single person on here, I may not understand either), but something that strikes me after reading through all of this is the realistic weight of expectation. I’m not talking about personal standards, respect, decency, honesty, hygiene etc. this is a given. I’m talking about the degree to which people are prepared to make allowances for the fact that other people aren’t perfect, have lives of their own, and are unlikely to fill all of someone else’s requirements. If you want a sexual partner who is hot, stable, grounded, intelligent, emotionally mature, with a great sense of humour, and who is available whenever you want them to be, who will always meet all of your needs, and more, will always know what your needs are on any given day, who’s lives never alter so as not to interfere with your schedules and disrupt your available time, who are always emotionally balanced so as to accommodate your moods and difficulties… and if you want not one of these people but multiple people who are exactly like this… I can’t help but wonder if perhaps this expectation is a little unrealistic.

Just a thought. Happy Friday everyone Xx "
this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just a thought. Happy Friday everyone Xx "

I hear you. I do. What I'd like ideally is asking a lot. Impossible.

But at the moment I'd just like to be able to have a conversation with someone that flows just enough to keep it going at least.

There are some where the interest is reciprocate and can hold a conversation but the chances of actually meeting are dashed by the fab curse of distance. And I'm now reluctant to travel after being burned and life circumstances changing.

I could put a meet up for a month's time and give notice for those with lives and still end up in the same position as now or I just indirectly help the married guys out. I'm capable of one offs that mean emotional sides, commitment etc are less applicable. Most of the inbox operate in certain transactional way and they get shitty if you break their process in my opinion. And I have to say it a lot of men in here want it their way or it's the highway, they'll bugger off if you aren't going to service them like they want it be their personal porn star. And the amount that expect you to travel from the offset is staggering.

The good ones are very few and far between.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"And the amount that expect you to travel from the offset is staggering."

I’m aware this runs the risk of sounding ‘not all men’ but … that part goes for everyone. Not just guys. And I don’t mean that as a complaint. I’ve just come to accept it as a human thing. People live where they live. And if I mention that I travel, that I’m happy to … and if I have veris from people far away … then they often assume I’ll travel to meet *them*.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have given up. Too many time wasters, liars and fantasists. Too many taken men, men who just want to pass the time until they make up with their wives/gfs. I’m only doing the socials now and keeping in touch with me mates

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

Just a thought. Happy Friday everyone Xx

I hear you. I do. What I'd like ideally is asking a lot. Impossible.

But at the moment I'd just like to be able to have a conversation with someone that flows just enough to keep it going at least.

The good ones are very few and far between.

That’s the nature of good ones, unfortunately. If everyone was good, then good would no longer be good enough, and we’d all be searching for great. I’m sorry you’re still struggling, and I do completely understand the Fab curse of distance. We’ve all been there. All I can really say, and this is based on my experience both with and without Ailsa, is that it’s surprising the connections you can make when you take away the pressure of finding someone specifically for sex. Conversations are definitely there, but the really good ones need to be nurtured, and that requires a little patience, even tolerance. We both know this, but it’s easy to lose sight of it. I hope you’re okay Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hear you. I do. What I'd like ideally is asking a lot. Impossible.

But at the moment I'd just like to be able to have a conversation with someone that flows just enough to keep it going at least.

The good ones are very few and far between.

But even saying there aren't many good ones is going to yield responses which feel more like attacks, isn't it? "It must be you" "why don't you just look instead of waiting for them to land in your inbox" "not all men".

And often a denial of what everyone can easily see from local updates - thousands of horny men with crass usernames and revolting statuses. The site attracts them as well as genuine people and they outnumber everyone. The site welcomes their money but will do nothing whatsoever to make the experience of genuine people better. Especially that of single women. It would be so easy to improve things. I see ways suggested daily by people. And yet Fab does nothing and the complaints continue and they're so often aimed at women for being "too picky".

Tell me, should I sleep with the man who just wants to watch me get fucked by black men, or the guy who sent me 3 videos of him wanking or the one who tells me what great jugs I have?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a thought. Happy Friday everyone Xx "

I think that’s pretty well said. It’s not usually to find people on here demanding the world while offering very little, and blaming everyone but themselves

And it doesn’t help that the illusion of unlimited choices makes people treat others as disposable. Took longer than 20 minutes to reply? Delete ignore and onto the next one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hear you. I do. What I'd like ideally is asking a lot. Impossible.

But at the moment I'd just like to be able to have a conversation with someone that flows just enough to keep it going at least.

The good ones are very few and far between.

Tell me, should I sleep with the man who just wants to watch me get fucked by black men, or the guy who sent me 3 videos of him wanking or the one who tells me what great jugs I have? "

Well said!

I could list all the fails in my inbox lately, and when I say fails, I mean I literally couldn't get from a to be in a conversation.

Why would a guy come into my inbox and tell me he wants to fucked by other guys?

And when someone says they want me for a threesome and bit alone is that me being picky? Or if my frees don't change to suit them....yes I had that too.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Just a thought. Happy Friday everyone Xx "

Absolutely this. I also think many are actually seeking 'relationships' where they have good hot sex, and effectively treat this as a dating app which, let's face it, not many have great experiences with.

It's the 'ick' factor these days, no one is good enough. The slightest little thing or mistake can put you off someone forever.

My philosophy here is simple, if someone releases endorphins to chat to, I will talk to them and I love being able to discuss kinky things openly here. But I have no expectations further from that. Alot of bodies here are BEAUTIFUL, but until deeper chat and face pics I won't know if THEY are beautiful. But that's what it's easy for people and women do this too - to treat people like sex objects here. If face pics was a requirement it might play out differently.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All that being said the inbox is not the place to look. It's the ones to avoid 99% of the time.

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By *ustincamebridgeCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We only browse. Far too often. Life get in the way. We rarely get messages. Rarely get winks.

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
over a year ago

London or Bedford

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?

Give up on what precisely?

You’re a WOMAN on Fab. More than likely your Inbox is currently flooded with options.

Take your pick

If you haven’t yielded your desired results, it probably because you haven’t chosen wisely.

In the meantime, my Inbox has tumbles blowing by. And I ain’t giving up after yeeeaaars of hardly any replies

I would challenge you to pick a good choice from a woman's inbox.

Do you have any idea what we get in our boxes to try and pick from?

I messaged you months ago. I wasn’t crass, nor did I approach you like a piece of meat.

I’m probably not even your type. But being gentlemanly & polite didn’t/doesn’t get me results

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

"All that being said the inbox is not the place to look. It's the ones to avoid 99% of the time."

Do you message them?

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By *heonixrising500Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

I losing hope on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?

Give up on what precisely?

You’re a WOMAN on Fab. More than likely your Inbox is currently flooded with options.

Take your pick

If you haven’t yielded your desired results, it probably because you haven’t chosen wisely.

In the meantime, my Inbox has tumbles blowing by. And I ain’t giving up after yeeeaaars of hardly any replies

I would challenge you to pick a good choice from a woman's inbox.

Do you have any idea what we get in our boxes to try and pick from?

I messaged you months ago. I wasn’t crass, nor did I approach you like a piece of meat.

I’m probably not even your type. But being gentlemanly & polite didn’t/doesn’t get me results

Shhh. We have to pretend all the polite respectful ones get results

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

I stopped as well as most people are too anti social on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?

Give up on what precisely?

You’re a WOMAN on Fab. More than likely your Inbox is currently flooded with options.

Take your pick

If you haven’t yielded your desired results, it probably because you haven’t chosen wisely.

In the meantime, my Inbox has tumbles blowing by. And I ain’t giving up after yeeeaaars of hardly any replies

I would challenge you to pick a good choice from a woman's inbox.

Do you have any idea what we get in our boxes to try and pick from?

I messaged you months ago. I wasn’t crass, nor did I approach you like a piece of meat.

I’m probably not even your type. But being gentlemanly & polite didn’t/doesn’t get me results

Shhh. We have to pretend all the polite respectful ones get results"

Yeah we should totes fuck all of them even if we don't fancy them. Women are support humans, right?

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
over a year ago

London

"I might be reaching here, so forgive me if this doesn’t apply (and also, never being a single person on here, I may not understand either), but something that strikes me after reading through all of this is the realistic weight of expectation. I’m not talking about personal standards, respect, decency, honesty, hygiene etc. this is a given. I’m talking about the degree to which people are prepared to make allowances for the fact that other people aren’t perfect, have lives of their own, and are unlikely to fill all of someone else’s requirements. If you want a sexual partner who is hot, stable, grounded, intelligent, emotionally mature, with a great sense of humour, who is available whenever you want them to be, who will always meet all of your needs, and more, will always know what your needs are on any given day, who’s lives never alter so as not to interfere with your schedules and disrupt your available time, who are always emotionally balanced to accommodate your moods and difficulties… and if you want not one of these people but multiple people who are exactly like this… I can’t help but wonder if perhaps this expectation is a little unrealistic.

All of us here are quick to point out that we aren’t perfect. Part of being open to this lifestyle in the first place is having an awareness of one’s self and one’s needs. We are all aware of our flaws, and to a greater or lesser extent, we are all working towards accepting them and making peace with who we are. But are we holding other people to a higher standard than we hold ourselves? This is a recipe for loneliness.

Just a thought. Happy Friday everyone Xx "

What an intelligent “just a thought “ text xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?

Give up on what precisely?

You’re a WOMAN on Fab. More than likely your Inbox is currently flooded with options.

Take your pick

If you haven’t yielded your desired results, it probably because you haven’t chosen wisely.

In the meantime, my Inbox has tumbles blowing by. And I ain’t giving up after yeeeaaars of hardly any replies

I would challenge you to pick a good choice from a woman's inbox.

Do you have any idea what we get in our boxes to try and pick from?

I messaged you months ago. I wasn’t crass, nor did I approach you like a piece of meat.

I’m probably not even your type. But being gentlemanly & polite didn’t/doesn’t get me results

There will be a reason, and I can guess what it was based on the fact I didn't reply. You're welcome to DM me if you want to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is all very interesting.

Numerous supposed me that can't get meets or mails responded to.

Women and couples who supposedly have all the power and choice but everyone complaining about not finding what they are looking for.

Some of the messages listed here definitely deserve a block without prior contact with the receiver but maybe some tolerance and effort is required.. Maybe its just forum problems and the rest of the site is having the time of their lives on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get that a large chunk of men are here for reasons that don't match, or do things that don't inspire.

Most do stand out like a sore thumb tho in this respect. As someone says user names can be a give away. As will early messages.

But amongst these should he good eggs. Hard to find sure.

If you *have* to travel miles then you are either saying good eggs are very rare. If there are 100x men, then you'd need to have 100x less good men per 100 for the maths to be against you as a women.

Eg there are 100 women close to me. All are great.

There are 100x more men. So 10,000. I'd need 9,900 if then to be crap to have less good men near me.

Again, finding them is hard. But they are probably there.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"This is all very interesting.

Numerous supposed me that can't get meets or mails responded to.

Women and couples who supposedly have all the power and choice but everyone complaining about not finding what they are looking for.

I will say for me when I can be bothered, the ratio of getting a reply to a hot couple is higher than 50 percent. Not sure if couples level each other out to come to a decision or if they just have more time between the two of them.

Single women is rarely worth bothering with

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

Yer prity much.

But the chat and picks are fun

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By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

I gave up years ago. I only use it to find out what's happening in clubs and the keep in touch with people I meet there now xxl

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By *ent57Man
over a year ago

... where the streets have no name!

... some very thoughtful posts on this topic.

Having chatted to some of my 'lady' friends on fab I can fully understand their frustration at the number of neanderthal type messages they get from so many ... which leads them to just not look at messages or set their filters so that they can't be messaged. Furthermore, the number of others that hide their profiles seems to have markedly increased.

So yes - I've almost given up looking on here

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By *orthampton jamesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?"
don't give up yet, there are decent folk out there,I like to class myself as one of them, social meets are always good, even just a coffee somewhere, keep on here, it will be fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure if I’m moving towards giving up, or tacitly knew there would be little point anyway. The forums are good though. On the universal forum scale I’d give them a good 8 maybe 8.5.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had to guess, the majority of messages sent on here are polite and respectful

The ones that aren’t are more jarring, more rememberable, so there’s a confirmation bias there that’s makes it seem like they’re all bad

I’d bet the issue isn’t a lack of polite and respectful messages

It’s an abundance of polite and respectful messages that are boring and/or from people we don’t find physically attractive.

When I meet guys my main issue is always painfully boring. Not abusive or disrespectful, that happens, but I don’t mind that because it disqualifies them instantly. The biggest problem is people I do find attractive, that I want to find a spark with, that I just can’t find, and the convo fizzles out to nothing. Sure I can make the effort and get blood from a stone, but I’d rather not

That’s just me though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it is soul destroying some days , no reply’s or instant delete… they has been a few nice people to chat, I’ve left a few time but end up coming back.

It has changed lots over the years but hey- ho

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"I think I have.

Trying to get a face pic is one thing.

Anything else is quite another. I think I'm just going to stick about for the forums and that's it.

Did you give up and if so why?

Give up on what precisely?

You’re a WOMAN on Fab. More than likely your Inbox is currently flooded with options.

Take your pick

If you haven’t yielded your desired results, it probably because you haven’t chosen wisely.

In the meantime, my Inbox has tumbles blowing by. And I ain’t giving up after yeeeaaars of hardly any replies

I would challenge you to pick a good choice from a woman's inbox.

Do you have any idea what we get in our boxes to try and pick from?

I messaged you months ago. I wasn’t crass, nor did I approach you like a piece of meat.

I’m probably not even your type. But being gentlemanly & polite didn’t/doesn’t get me results

Shhh. We have to pretend all the polite respectful ones get results

Yeah we should totes fuck all of them even if we don't fancy them. Women are support humans, right? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is all very interesting.

Numerous supposed me that can't get meets or mails responded to.

Women and couples who supposedly have all the power and choice but everyone complaining about not finding what they are looking for.

Single women is rarely worth bothering with

Likewise although I just add people to my hotlist until I'm ready to make contact. Sometimes they beat me to it.

But overall yes I get replies from 3 out of 5And I respond to all women and couples that write me even if their profiles don't excite.

I don't get hundreds so wouldn't work for the females.

Maybe tighter filters so they can select and respond properly. But I think there are lots of good women, men and couples who would be compatible. Just need a better way of finding each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had to guess, the majority of messages sent on here are polite and respectful

The ones that aren’t are more jarring, more rememberable, so there’s a confirmation bias there that’s makes it seem like they’re all bad

I’d bet the issue isn’t a lack of polite and respectful messages

It’s an abundance of polite and respectful messages that are boring and/or from people we don’t find physically attractive.

That’s just me though"

You're a man, and on this site the experience of women and couples is completely different. Multiple women have said on this thread and others that the majority of messages they receive are NOT polite and respectful. Even with filters. I aim to respond to the polite and respectful ones who have read my profile but I don't get that many compared to younger women with better bodies obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had to guess, the majority of messages sent on here are polite and respectful

The ones that aren’t are more jarring, more rememberable, so there’s a confirmation bias there that’s makes it seem like they’re all bad

I’d bet the issue isn’t a lack of polite and respectful messages

It’s an abundance of polite and respectful messages that are boring and/or from people we don’t find physically attractive.

That’s just me though

I think that’s fair enough, I just don’t personally believe it, hence the mention of confirmation bias

I might be wrong, but I’d be willing to bet you all get far more extremely boring, but still polite and respectful messages than you do outright abusive ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had to guess, the majority of messages sent on here are polite and respectful

The ones that aren’t are more jarring, more rememberable, so there’s a confirmation bias there that’s makes it seem like they’re all bad

I’d bet the issue isn’t a lack of polite and respectful messages

It’s an abundance of polite and respectful messages that are boring and/or from people we don’t find physically attractive.

That’s just me though

I think that’s fair enough, I just don’t personally believe it, hence the mention of confirmation bias

I might be wrong, but I’d be willing to bet you all get far more extremely boring, but still polite and respectful messages than you do outright abusive ones. "

You’d bet wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had to guess, the majority of messages sent on here are polite and respectful

The ones that aren’t are more jarring, more rememberable, so there’s a confirmation bias there that’s makes it seem like they’re all bad

I’d bet the issue isn’t a lack of polite and respectful messages

It’s an abundance of polite and respectful messages that are boring and/or from people we don’t find physically attractive.

That’s just me though

I think that’s fair enough, I just don’t personally believe it, hence the mention of confirmation bias

I might be wrong, but I’d be willing to bet you all get far more extremely boring, but still polite and respectful messages than you do outright abusive ones. "

You just don't believe what women are saying. Right. You said it.

I didn't say abusive. I'm referring to objectifying and disrespectful messages. Sending unsolicited cock picks. Offers of grim sexual acts. But you don't believe that women are telling the truth so it doesn't matter does it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had to guess, the majority of messages sent on here are polite and respectful

The ones that aren’t are more jarring, more rememberable, so there’s a confirmation bias there that’s makes it seem like they’re all bad

I’d bet the issue isn’t a lack of polite and respectful messages

It’s an abundance of polite and respectful messages that are boring and/or from people we don’t find physically attractive.

That’s just me though

I fully appreciate that which is why I said I don't get as many and given the number women and couples get I don't think I'd have the time to read.

So I was offering that as a means to reduce the amount as there needs to be a way to sift or search for whatever they are looking for.

The problem is aggressive sifting will also sift those they want. And constant bombardment will make them mentally unable to find those good ones amongst the rubbish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I believe your telling the truth, I just dont believe it’s factual

That’s what’s confirmation bias is. Looking at stuff that confirms your belief and ignoring what doesn’t

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Single men are the major bottleneck on here. Yes some are polite and respectful. Most sabotage it for themselves and others.

10 years on here in a MF showed me the problem. It's pretty obvious.

(1) The illiterate FAF one line cut and pasters. It's one line and you can't be bothered to write a coherent sentence?

(2) The kind and respectful ones who understand boundaries. Who spit their dummy if the get a response in a couple of days, turn abusive and then try and shame you into fucking them.

(3) The guys that say they just want NSA sex and then start getting emotionally. attached. Or wilt at the last minute - often the ones who turn abusive when they don't get a response in a couple of days.

(4) The guys who will say anything to get into your knickers. And it never goes anywhere because they know it's BS.

Women are not perfect on here, but it is predominantly a male causal issue. Yes some are hesitant or play games but mostly that's defence against dark arts and dickheads. They generally do have more 'choice' but that's mostly filtering through a stack of crappy messages till it feels like a day at the office.

Being respectful and genuine does work. I'm no superhunk. I am not some amazing charmer or flirter. I just talk to women like they are people. I get interest, not loads but it's genuine and worth it. Just learn a bit of patience. Instead of running around with an erection looking for somewhere to stick it.

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