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If you were given the choice to find out or not

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By *ichaelangela OP   Couple
over a year ago

notts

When you were going to die, would you??

would it give you chance to put everything in order and say your goodbyes. would you really want to know??

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

My husband was told he had six months to live and it was incredibly hard for us both and our four children. Mental torture. Far better to get knocked down unexpectedly by a bus.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No thank you

I already have enough anxiety as it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you were going to die, would you??

would it give you chance to put everything in order and say your goodbyes. would you really want to know??"

Watch GATACA

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"My husband was told he had six months to live and it was incredibly hard for us both and our four children. Mental torture. Far better to get knocked down unexpectedly by a bus. "

I can imagine how hard that was.

I was told my mum had an unspecified number of days or weeks by a doctor on the telephone. I had to then drive to my dad's house to tell him then tell all my brothers. From my point of view it's better not to know too

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

I was told my mum had an unspecified number of days or weeks by a doctor on the telephone. I had to then drive to my dad's house to tell him then tell all my brothers. From my point of view it's better not to know too "

How awful for you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

I was told my mum had an unspecified number of days or weeks by a doctor on the telephone. I had to then drive to my dad's house to tell him then tell all my brothers. From my point of view it's better not to know too

How awful for you. "

Yet another relative of mine knew she had limited time and used it to make every possible arrangement and sort things out with her husband. This was earlier this year and he still finds little notes she left for him.

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I think unless you've experienced both a protracted loss and a sudden, unexpected loss it is hard to tell which causes the most trauma.

I would never wish that upon anybody though.

I lost my dad, suddenly and unexpectedly, in the way I had feared most since I was a child.

That was horrific. He was here. Then he was gone. Just like that. No goodbyes. Just gone.

So for me, I would rather know so I could prepare people and say goodbye etc

MrsAbz

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

My fear of death itself and when it happens does not exist. I'm indifferent toward that detail. It would be nice to know so I could be sure things are in place - those I do actually care for. That my dogs would be settled in to a new safe home in advance so they would not have to go through the confusion of abandonment which comes along with grief for dogs.

The how I may die, now that is what scares me.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Good question.

Yes, I'd like to know. I may not like the answer but I'd certainly plan accordingly. Enjoy the times with my loved ones and do the things I keep putting off.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think unless you've experienced both a protracted loss and a sudden, unexpected loss it is hard to tell which causes the most trauma.

I would never wish that upon anybody though.

I lost my dad, suddenly and unexpectedly, in the way I had feared most since I was a child.

That was horrific. He was here. Then he was gone. Just like that. No goodbyes. Just gone.

So for me, I would rather know so I could prepare people and say goodbye etc

MrsAbz "

Sorry to hear that. It has a profound effect

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Yes, but to make some good memories and maybe live a little more than I normally would!

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

Yes... because I wouldn't bother paying any bills..time they sent the bailiffs in I'd be dead.. result..

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Yes. I’d want things to be as organised as possible and know that my dogs are cared for together. Having experienced both kinds of loss I’d want to leave nothing unsaid.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

London

Without going into details, yes.

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By *ichaelangela OP   Couple
over a year ago

notts

What if you were given an envelope at the beginning of your life giving an exact date of when it would happen.

Would you open the envelope??

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By *trideMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Oh yes please!

Suppose I’m told that I will definitely be dead by Christmas.

Am I going to spend my precious time diligently putting my affairs in order for the benefit of my heirs and friends, who will live for decades after I have gone?

Or am I going to really enjoy my last days, doing all of the things that I have always wanted to do, and you can sod-off, the lot of you?

Guess!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather not know..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"What if you were given an envelope at the beginning of your life giving an exact date of when it would happen.

Would you open the envelope??"

No. I think we should all live as if we're going to die soon. Why wait to put your affairs in order, plan a trip, tell people you love them, write the novel. Death is the only certainty in life yet many of us fail to prepare for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Often wondered about this but from different angle, if I was diagnosed with an illness and given time frame would I tell anyone or would I accept treatment.

I know a couple of friends would fall out with me if that happened and I did not say.

With my thoughts at times at least an illness would be a more acceptable way out and maybe less traumatic for those left behind

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

Or am I going to really enjoy my last days, doing all of the things that I have always wanted to do, and you can sod-off, the lot of you?

Guess!

"

You haven't considered the option of your last few months or weeks that you are so weak and in such pain you can't do anything.

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands


"What if you were given an envelope at the beginning of your life giving an exact date of when it would happen.

Would you open the envelope??

No. I think we should all live as if we're going to die soon. Why wait to put your affairs in order, plan a trip, tell people you love them, write the novel. Death is the only certainty in life yet many of us fail to prepare for it"

Depends whether you've got 2 years or 30 left. Bills and planning for a future get in the way of a lot of things unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would.

And I'd throw a party the day before.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

I hope that assisted dying is available in my country before I hit sickness in old age

Hopefully I don't go unexpectedly without saying goodbye to my family and friends

I don't want to be sick and in a lot of pain without the option of a quick death

I'd like to know when I'm going to die

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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"What if you were given an envelope at the beginning of your life giving an exact date of when it would happen.

Would you open the envelope??

No. I think we should all live as if we're going to die soon. Why wait to put your affairs in order, plan a trip, tell people you love them, write the novel. Death is the only certainty in life yet many of us fail to prepare for it"

I'm torn though.

Sure, we all want to go painlessly, quickly, most likely in our sleep with a loved one.

But how often does that not happen? How often is it sudden and unexpected, leaving families unprepared, in difficult and complex situations and at risk of financial hardship and emotional trauma?

At least with a date it would help prepare, plan and cater for the needs of others.

And would put a stop to all the annoying life insurance telesales calls of course........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would want to know

I lost 1 parent suddenly, and the other there was plenty of warning (cant think of a better way to word that)

The sudden loss was so hard

But the expected lose gave me time to be with them, do stuff, make extra memories, put thing in place, and this is a strange one, we had the time to talk about the funeral they wanted

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Yes i would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No way!

I'd constantly be thinking about it and be upset when I'll be leaving my loved ones.

Miss S x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"What if you were given an envelope at the beginning of your life giving an exact date of when it would happen.

Would you open the envelope??

No. I think we should all live as if we're going to die soon. Why wait to put your affairs in order, plan a trip, tell people you love them, write the novel. Death is the only certainty in life yet many of us fail to prepare for it

I'm torn though.

Sure, we all want to go painlessly, quickly, most likely in our sleep with a loved one.

But how often does that not happen? How often is it sudden and unexpected, leaving families unprepared, in difficult and complex situations and at risk of financial hardship and emotional trauma?

At least with a date it would help prepare, plan and cater for the needs of others.

And would put a stop to all the annoying life insurance telesales calls of course........"

In other words we need a deadline (in the true sense of the word) or we won't do it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"What if you were given an envelope at the beginning of your life giving an exact date of when it would happen.

Would you open the envelope??

No. I think we should all live as if we're going to die soon. Why wait to put your affairs in order, plan a trip, tell people you love them, write the novel. Death is the only certainty in life yet many of us fail to prepare for it

Depends whether you've got 2 years or 30 left. Bills and planning for a future get in the way of a lot of things unfortunately "

True but you can have the basics in place. Our kids know where our will and the deeds of the house are. I know where my dad's is. I knew what kind of funeral my mum wanted, she'd been telling me since she was about 50. We know the kind of funeral each of us want and each other's passwords etc.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Yes and no! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you were going to die, would you??

would it give you chance to put everything in order and say your goodbyes. would you really want to know??"

Nope. Why anyone would wish that I’ve no idea. R.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No rather go in a flash nice n quick no knowledge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes for all you know it could be weeks away and in that case I’d rather fuck work off and spend every minute doing something with my kids.

One of my biggest regrets was not spending more time with my dad after his cancer diagnosis i stubbornly believed he would fight it for a long time if I’d known he would only live 5 weeks I’d have spent every waking minute with him

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

If its a terrible disease like terminal cancer, probably best to know.

Getting run over by a truck on the way to the shops next Tuesday, probably not.

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By *ddie1966Man
over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

No.

Life, itself, is a mystery, so why shouldn't death be.??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle


"My husband was told he had six months to live and it was incredibly hard for us both and our four children. Mental torture. Far better to get knocked down unexpectedly by a bus. "

That would be incredibly hard and painful. I get that not knowing is a blessing in many ways. x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

Memento Mori ....

When it arrives it will make not one ounce of difference to life I have lived already.

It is something I won't try to control.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

I know someone who was given a fairly rough estimate of somewhere around a year left. He pretty much finished up working, went on some travels with his OH, said goodbye to those closest to him, sorted his shit out- then departed to a certain Swiss clinic when it got too rough.

While he went earlier than the time given, he had the chance to fill the better part of it how he wanted, with an idea of timescale to work out what was most important and take control of his remaining time...a luxury many never get

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