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Sell yourself ….

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley

I want your best advertisement of yourself ….

Give us all your good features and benefits

But also please disclose anything that’s not so good or anything that’s to be aware of

Basically like a car sales pitch

Classic motor

Good paintwork (few scratches /dints )

Good engine (goes for miles )

Few miles on the clock

You know the sort of thing

Right here goes mine

Athletic build

Strong hands

Blue eyed

Quality banter and solid boner

And top notch kisser

Here for limited time (due to working away)

Slight thinning of hair

Has a hairy arse

Real lightweight drinker

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I'm not writing another profile pal, that fucker took years as is

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"I want your best advertisement of yourself ….

Give us all your good features and benefits

But also please disclose anything that’s not so good or anything that’s to be aware of

Basically like a car sales pitch

Classic motor

Good paintwork (few scratches /dints )

Good engine (goes for miles )

Few miles on the clock

You know the sort of thing

Right here goes mine

Athletic build

Strong hands

Blue eyed

Quality banter and solid boner

And top notch kisser

Here for limited time (due to working away)

Slight thinning of hair

Has a hairy arse

Real lightweight drinker "

I’m not bi but I’m sold Lool

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I'll swap me for a biscuit?

Wait that doesn't work. I want the biscuit.

MrsAbz

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"I'm not writing another profile pal, that fucker took years as is "

Lmaoo

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I'm not writing another profile pal, that fucker took years as is "

Fucking hell, quite the length you have there CD. Not surprised.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Lumpy, bumpy, misanthropic entitled stuck up bitch. Will swap for a biscuit (then give you the biscuit as thanks for taking her off my fucking hands)

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Floggers, paddles and rope available for hire.

Comes with experienced operator, short or long term hire available.

Enquire for details

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham

I look exactly like I belong in the ‘Viking’ series, need I say more?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pleasantly palatable! And modest

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly


"I'm not writing another profile pal, that fucker took years as is

Fucking hell, quite the length you have there CD. Not surprised."

I didn't see that coming and I don't know why.

Be smug, you got me with that one

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Lumpy, bumpy, misanthropic entitled stuck up bitch. Will swap for a biscuit (then give you the biscuit as thanks for taking her off my fucking hands)"

At this point in time, I'm quite willing to take anything in exchange for a biscuit. It seems a fair deal to me... I get to keep the biscuit, right?

MrsAbz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reliable engine

Built to last, rust free

Size of an SUV

Amazing entertainment system

Still plenty of miles left in me

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I couldn't even do this properly on my own profile, never mind a forum thread lol

Okay.

Irish man(some women like the accent)

Own teeth(what's left of them)

Shaven head(hair stopped growing years ago)

Athletic build(sofa surfing is an event, right?)

I have the Goldilocks of cocks(not too big, not too small)

I'm told I'm funny(looking)

I'm ambitious(hoping for at least 1 shag eventually)

I'm easy going and can get on with most people(but can't get off with anyone these days)

I have a big heart

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Lumpy, bumpy, misanthropic entitled stuck up bitch. Will swap for a biscuit (then give you the biscuit as thanks for taking her off my fucking hands)

At this point in time, I'm quite willing to take anything in exchange for a biscuit. It seems a fair deal to me... I get to keep the biscuit, right?

MrsAbz "

Surely this completely depends on what kind of biscuits are on offer

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Late 70s model

Bodywork battered to fuck & falling apart.

Still mostly ok under the bonnet.

0-60 after some whining.

May have a coolant leak as constantly needs fluid top ups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chaos with ducks. Many previous (bad) owners.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Slightly broken

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Restoration job

Drives and mot'd

Interested... book a test drive

Message me for details.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"Slightly broken"

Add in free to a good home

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I make a good coffee.

That's all I got.

Oh and I have the tits.

Mrs

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Lumpy, bumpy, misanthropic entitled stuck up bitch. Will swap for a biscuit (then give you the biscuit as thanks for taking her off my fucking hands)

At this point in time, I'm quite willing to take anything in exchange for a biscuit. It seems a fair deal to me... I get to keep the biscuit, right?

MrsAbz

Surely this completely depends on what kind of biscuits are on offer "

What you offering? Must have chocolate coating to be considered.

MrsAbz

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I'm not writing another profile pal, that fucker took years as is

Fucking hell, quite the length you have there CD. Not surprised.

I didn't see that coming and I don't know why.

Be smug, you got me with that one "

Yay!

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"Chaos with ducks. Many previous (bad) owners. "

This one puzzled me ?

Chaos with ducks ?

What does that even mean ?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"Chaos with ducks. Many previous (bad) owners.

This one puzzled me ?

Chaos with ducks ?

What does that even mean ? "

Oh when you know, you will know!

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
over a year ago

south coast IOW


"I'm not writing another profile pal, that fucker took years as is "

I totally loved reading your profile. Most interesting one for an absolute age. Diolch yn fawr xxx. (My welsh is very limited but from Caerphilly I’m guessing your’s is not that grand either).

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

I won't bother selling myself but what I will say is OMG!! I think I'm in love with this couple

https://m.fabswingers.com/profile/willy_idol

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"I won't bother selling myself but what I will say is OMG!! I think I'm in love with this couple

https://m.fabswingers.com/profile/willy_idol"

Whaaaat

Get out of here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m thinking…..yeah, I’ve got nothing.

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

Fiver! Comes with sports socks (one pair)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am an absolute fucking delight.

Winner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chaos with ducks. Many previous (bad) owners.

This one puzzled me ?

Chaos with ducks ?

What does that even mean ?

Oh when you know, you will know! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make everyone else look good.

You.

Are.

Welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its better that you go away than read on

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

An aquired taste, in reasonable shape, low maintenance, shocking dress sense.

Mostly harmless.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport


"I make a good coffee.

That's all I got.

Oh and I have the tits.

Mrs "

I make drinkable coffee. At least it's not poisonous. And I have the tits. Several sets of them, I keep them in the wardrobe when they're not snuggled inside my bra.

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By *inky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Looks like a lemon, but...

-Surprise under the hood

-6" special bronze piston

(Piston need some polishing)

-Turbo injector (Timing might be off at first, but it will be sorted after a few ride)

-Don't need an alarm (Who steals a lemon?)

-Hardly used in the last 9 years

-Kept in garage in the last 4 years unused

(The engine was turned on a few times a week on idle)

-Previous owners put some mileage in

-Leaking and noisy when it's overheated

-Some space in the trunk

-Color is 2 shades of brown, but mostly white

-Quite robust, so shared use is an option

-First gear hardly works, so you need to start in second.

-Free to take

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

I was here now im not

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
over a year ago

Maidstone

My profile does that.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"Chaos with ducks. Many previous (bad) owners.

This one puzzled me ?

Chaos with ducks ?

What does that even mean ?

Oh when you know, you will know! "

I'm a duck and pretty chaotic lol

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Old scrapper, just about enough va-va-voom for a quick go round the block and maybe to Aldi and back. Paired with defective onboard computer system that gives a completely wonky readout. All this despite low mileage and regular servicing.

Probably best to take the £250 and run. Because she doesn't

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Well worn and used old banger, been around the block a few times but is very well trained and reliable. Starts well first time if fed coffee. Humour is level 10

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

I'm kind to animals

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Got cake

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol


"Got cake "
all the cake

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Got cake "

Tempted but need more information on the cake you’re offering

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Great for warming your cold feet on, will sleep in the damp patch and spider catcher extraordinaire

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"Got cake all the cake"

Yes*

*Disclaimer, 'all the cake' is a term relating to differentiation of portion sizes of varying propiety not limited too 'all cake' and sometimes even 'no cake' can be used for purposes of matters relating to cake. This is also not limited to cake I have already ate.

So sue me motherhecker

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By *agnar73Man
over a year ago

glasgow-ish

Need to up my biscuit offer.

Think one of the Christmas tins could be good for luring biscuit fans?

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"Got cake

Tempted but need more information on the cake you’re offering "

All the cake

*see disclaimer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not (much of) a c*nt.

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By *ememberTheName OP   Man
over a year ago

barnsley


"My profile does that. "

nah it doesn’t

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By *ddie1966Man
over a year ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

Thought this was an online auction for a moment.

Was prepared to be left back in the sale room....

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By *JtheTomMan
over a year ago

London

Late 80s fixer upper

Failed last mot - needs new tyres and fan belt

Strange rattling noise when goes over 40

Plenty of miles left in it though

Will take any reasonable offers

X

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol


"Got cake

Tempted but need more information on the cake you’re offering

All the cake

*see disclaimer"

I see what you did there

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
over a year ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"Got cake

Tempted but need more information on the cake you’re offering

All the cake

*see disclaimerI see what you did there"

Shröedingers cake if I eat it does it still exist or can it exist and both not exist at the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ex stunt man for lego with a very naughty side seeks sexy lady to play me and others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wreck but still works occasionally. In great need of body work (out). Get in at your peril.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Off to the scrap yard unless someone likes old classics and can save me because they see potential

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