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Step Children

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By *enuineguy42 OP   Man
over a year ago

worcester

To all the fabbers that may have step children, should the respect from that child be the same to the step parent as it is the parent, and should that child be treated exactly the same as every other child in the household.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Its to be expected but rarely achieved i was a friend to my ex's daughter and would never discipline or raise my voice to her not that i had to but she did have a party one time in the living room a water party and ruined all the living room flooring

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The child should be treated as an individual as should all the other children in the household but they should all be expected to abide by fair and reasonable house rules. I don't think any step parent should expect respect from step children, that's something they need to prove they deserve in my opinion

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I should say I don't have step children

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

It’s a very different kind of relationship and should be treated as such, plus all kids are different too.

You don’t walk into a kids life and expect to be ‘respected’ you both earn that by building a relationship. It’s tough. I have 3 amazing grown up stepkids now and a great friendship with each. But it’s a process.

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By *arriedmassiveMan
over a year ago

Morpeth

Respect is earned, and not a right. And that goes for whether you're trying to earn the respect of a child or an adult, and regardless of relationship to the person.

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By *enuineguy42 OP   Man
over a year ago

worcester


"The child should be treated as an individual as should all the other children in the household but they should all be expected to abide by fair and reasonable house rules. I don't think any step parent should expect respect from step children, that's something they need to prove they deserve in my opinion "

I agree, however some children play on the fact that they come from a split family and show very little respect to the step parent, regardless of how they are treated by the step parent.

I believe it should be enforced by both parents regardless of being a step parent or not, as you say the child should be treated as an individual and not a label, however in alot of cases this isnt the way it works, as like someone has commented they were a step parent and didnt discipline the child

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The child should be treated as an individual as should all the other children in the household but they should all be expected to abide by fair and reasonable house rules. I don't think any step parent should expect respect from step children, that's something they need to prove they deserve in my opinion

I agree, however some children play on the fact that they come from a split family and show very little respect to the step parent, regardless of how they are treated by the step parent.

I believe it should be enforced by both parents regardless of being a step parent or not, as you say the child should be treated as an individual and not a label, however in alot of cases this isnt the way it works, as like someone has commented they were a step parent and didnt discipline the child "

From my knowledge of step children and parents I'd say that it's a very difficult situation for all involved. I firmly believe that the adults should be the ones to work their darndest to make it work.

A woman I knew was having great difficulty with her 8 year old step daughter, she told me that an aunt had offered to have the daughter to stay to 'break her spirit '. I was horrified and said so, I often think of the emotional damage done to that kid

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

In general being a step child means one of their parents has left.

Regardless of reasons why, they may feel abandoned or distrustful so understandably will be wary of soneone who is effectively a stranger. You have to earn a step child's love and respect and trust.

Ideally they should be treated the same as any child to a certain extent but every child is a individual, try to understand if they do not react the same. I think I did leave discipline to her mum though but thankfully she was angelic

My stepdaughter dad left when she was a baby and didn't see her for 5 years. Ofcourse she was going to ve wary of me coming into her life and I had to deserve her trust.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

It isn't always that easy. I mean I don't treat my biological kids in the exact same way.

It's been a bumpy ride with us as a blended family. My kids have been good with the other half. But we've had issues with Ms child who is the youngest. But it's not really her to blame but her mother. It's gradually improving, but her mother has caused issues to the detriment of her own daughter's happiness. I as a parent want my kids to be happy with my ex's new partner. This is not always the case.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

I never had cause to force my will when angry on my children so how could i expect to do that to my partners child, i would say if i regarded her behaviour unjust certainly to her mum but she was ok considering the brats that live in this area

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I was a step child who was treated very differently by my step mother to her own son and it sucked.

Dealing with the break up of my parents, losing my own mother then some complete stranger coming in and treating me one way when dad was around and very differently when not.

So believe me when I say being treated differently really does hurt.

Fair and honest is the best approach, love is something that comes with time,it may never happen but as long as you are seen to treat them fairly.

Just one thing don't compromise your standards, they will exploit any weaknesses viciously and take advantage of any over compensation your trying for.

Also don't forget yourself it's just as hard for you.

Good luck

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Principally, yes. You do your very best at all times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work with children who do not have any parent. I become every family member. After all children want to be loved.

For me setting boundaries means they will at most times respect you because they know they can trust you.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

T is step-father to my children. He doesn’t get involved too much now they are older but I would say they respect him more than me. I’m the punch bag, I’m the safety net. It works for us.

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My present dating fear.

How i would adopt to the children if i choose a relationship with a woman having children.

How my children are going to react, and the emotional maturity of both to handle every day's life.

I understand about earning the respect but if i can't discipline my future step children like my own, then i can't live in that relationship.

It's been hard to think about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I work with children who do not have any parent. I become every family member. After all children want to be loved.

For me setting boundaries means they will at most times respect you because they know they can trust you. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My present dating fear.

How i would adopt to the children if i choose a relationship with a woman having children.

How my children are going to react, and the emotional maturity of both to handle every day's life.

I understand about earning the respect but if i can't discipline my future step children like my own, then i can't live in that relationship.

It's been hard to think about."

Sounds like you put your children's happiness first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My present dating fear.

How i would adopt to the children if i choose a relationship with a woman having children.

How my children are going to react, and the emotional maturity of both to handle every day's life.

I understand about earning the respect but if i can't discipline my future step children like my own, then i can't live in that relationship.

It's been hard to think about.

Sounds like you put your children's happiness first. "

Not about my children but for everyone involved. Due to my circumstances, I know my children will distance from me and hate me the moment i get into a new relationship and more so if step children are involved. Can't help much but something i have to go through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My present dating fear.

How i would adopt to the children if i choose a relationship with a woman having children.

How my children are going to react, and the emotional maturity of both to handle every day's life.

I understand about earning the respect but if i can't discipline my future step children like my own, then i can't live in that relationship.

It's been hard to think about.

Sounds like you put your children's happiness first.

Not about my children but for everyone involved. Due to my circumstances, I know my children will distance from me and hate me the moment i get into a new relationship and more so if step children are involved. Can't help much but something i have to go through. "

Sorry if I sounded negative, I meant it in a nice way.

It's difficult. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My present dating fear.

How i would adopt to the children if i choose a relationship with a woman having children.

How my children are going to react, and the emotional maturity of both to handle every day's life.

I understand about earning the respect but if i can't discipline my future step children like my own, then i can't live in that relationship.

It's been hard to think about.

Sounds like you put your children's happiness first.

Not about my children but for everyone involved. Due to my circumstances, I know my children will distance from me and hate me the moment i get into a new relationship and more so if step children are involved. Can't help much but something i have to go through.

Sorry if I sounded negative, I meant it in a nice way.

It's difficult. X"

No, your comment wasn't negative, i should have more clear about the children's part. Don't worry.

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By *enuineguy42 OP   Man
over a year ago

worcester

Tbh i found it really difficult to get into a new relationship as I never wanted my children to see me qith anyone other than there mom, i always wanted my children to have the same upbringing as I did and when this didnt be reality I blamed myself. Everytime a women got attached I pulled away because of my children. Im married now so obviously i did commit, however my wife was the only women i introduced my children too.

I dont know how people can meet someone and instantly introduce children to them, then repeat the process constantly, have some respect for your children and protect them, rather than allow them to see a different man or womem in u bed all the time

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Respect is earned not guaranteed.

Adjustments to a new parental role can be as hard on the kids as the adult.

Each child should be treated as an individual

Mrs

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Absolutely

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"My present dating fear.

How i would adopt to the children if i choose a relationship with a woman having children.

How my children are going to react, and the emotional maturity of both to handle every day's life.

I understand about earning the respect but if i can't discipline my future step children like my own, then i can't live in that relationship.

It's been hard to think about.

Sounds like you put your children's happiness first.

Not about my children but for everyone involved. Due to my circumstances, I know my children will distance from me and hate me the moment i get into a new relationship and more so if step children are involved. Can't help much but something i have to go through. "

Wow. How old are your kids? They sound harsh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes of course. But you have to build a relationship to get to that point. I don't think you can expect this amazing relationship with loads of respect when it's new. I think the respect is something that comes with time, and you have to have a bit more patient and understanding with children anyway because they are so different compared to us. I don't think it's an easy ride. And yes, you should 100% treat them as you would your own child, but again, be cautious when it's a whole new relationship because you have to figure them out and it will take time to understand them as you would your own child. I don't have step children but that's how I feel about it.

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By *erdyCurvyInkedPervyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Previously I have been the stepmother.

And in all honesty, I would never get involved with a man that had children again.

That being said, my husband is an amazing stepfather to our children. They love and respect him, even more than they do me, I'd say.

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By *stwo2023Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

I don't have children or step children but my parents have had other partners in their lives. I have never called them step parents. They were/are my parents partners.

I still respected them but any discipline or reprimanding came from my parents.

Evie

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