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meeting Women V Men here on Fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it is like anything in life if it is worth it you will work for it

High maintenance sometimes means high class (somtimes)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are there really hoops?

All I want is to feel respected and liked for being a human, and to have some things in common with potential play mates. And not to be objectified as some kind of animated fleshlight. The bar is really not so high IMO.

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By *ximiaMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"Are there really hoops?

All I want is to feel respected and liked for being a human, and to have some things in common with potential play mates. And not to be objectified as some kind of animated fleshlight. The bar is really not so high IMO."

OK so, I'd respect you and want to get to know you genuinely.

Why if I messaged and came across like that would you choose to either respond or ignore my message

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By *arryandhedgehogCouple
over a year ago

Thurrock

A lot of women probably start out with a simple profile but then over time have to amend it because of the actions of men. The experience of a single woman on here is vastly different to that of a single man they are literally hounded and sadly a lot of the interactions aren’t positive. I can’t blame them for getting dismayed and becoming more specific.

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By *fdTMan
over a year ago

Bradford

We don't get a chance sometimes because of some of the abuse the females get because they turn a man down, some just can't take no for an answer, so its just easier to not reply for most, but we're not all the same.

And the hoop thing is real, I wonder how many people have missed out on what they actually want because of a technicality lol.

My opinion

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By *ximiaMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"We don't get a chance sometimes because of some of the abuse the females get because they turn a man down, some just can't take no for an answer, so its just easier to not reply for most, but we're not all the same.

And the hoop thing is real, I wonder how many people have missed out on what they actually want because of a technicality lol.

My opinion "

Couldn't agree more

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By *herlockOhmsMan
over a year ago

Ripley

Women have always been more selective than men for good reason though - for 99.9% of human history (i.e. before contraception was invented) if she chooses to sleep with someone there's a reasonable chance she'll be lumbered with a child for the next 20 years. So women evolved to make damn well sure that person was 'right'. The fact that it's less relevant for the past hundred years can't overcome hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.

For a guy the consequences of sleeping with a poor choice of partner are much lower so men have evolved to be way less selective.

It's not just on fab though it's the same everywhere - in bars, dating sites etc. you've always got to stand out in some way and be better looking, funnier or have a decent amount in common.

So I don't think there are any more 'hoops' here than any other place, they're just more clearly stated because on fab you can be totally open with your desires rather than beating (off) around the bush

Hope that made sense!

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By *atty CoramWoman
over a year ago

Wimbledon


"We don't get a chance sometimes because of some of the abuse the females get because they turn a man down, some just can't take no for an answer, so its just easier to not reply for most, but we're not all the same.

And the hoop thing is real, I wonder how many people have missed out on what they actually want because of a technicality lol.

My opinion "

Is your preference for women over men just a technicality that you could ostensibly overlook to avoid missing out?

Genuine question.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?"
nope they get a lot more messages than we do and so therefore have choice

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By *fdTMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"We don't get a chance sometimes because of some of the abuse the females get because they turn a man down, some just can't take no for an answer, so its just easier to not reply for most, but we're not all the same.

And the hoop thing is real, I wonder how many people have missed out on what they actually want because of a technicality lol.

My opinion

Is your preference for women over men just a technicality that you could ostensibly overlook to avoid missing out?

Genuine question."

No I just think it makes it a lot harder, and I dont place all my time here, I like it here and I'm here for a reason, but I won't put all my eggs in one basket.

And I appreciate you asking, that really made me think that it was my experience, but I don't think it is.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Many men are looking for a fuck and go, many women are looking for an experience, it's just incompatibility

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

Women want what they are attracted to.

Men want sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The age old fab complaint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?"

Women are so fussy. They all want dick right. Age range, sexuality, location, all to be ignored by men.

Men just want a wet hole because their wife won't fuck them... and fill their profiles with useless legal warnings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My essentials are a pulse, and being female at birth. Even with those requirements I've eliminated 95% of Fabs members.

Women are so fickle. I mean imagine us having more than those basic standards?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scrap all the hoops and should be called Blind Fab ......Right oh ..

Normal humans here for the exact reason choice and preference and fantasy ......fab world ...

All about RESPECT .....

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I like to think that if there are hoops to jump through I'm happy to let any woman who wants to meet me work away.

I believe in equality on here so they really will have to make an effort to get my attention.

Anyone reading this and thinking it's a little tongue in cheek couldn't be further from the truth.

My filters are tight but it's difficult to miss out on something I wasn't looking for in the first place.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Are they hoops? Or are they reasonable expectations set out by the individual to make THEIR fab experience better work for them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Scrap all the hoops and should be called Blind Fab ......Right oh ..

Normal humans here for the exact reason choice and preference and fantasy ......fab world ...

All about RESPECT .....

"

I want whatever medication you're on.

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Women don't have the same "any holes a goal" motto that many younger men do. I like a women with lots of preferences on her profile, it makes it easier for me to know if I have what she's looking for before even sending 1 message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women don't have the same "any holes a goal" motto that many younger men do. I like a women with lots of preferences on her profile, it makes it easier for me to know if I have what she's looking for before even sending 1 message "

I'd say it's more older men that have that view!

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By *orset.JMan
over a year ago

Weymouth

Op- that’s why it’s a swinging and not a dating site. For just sex alone you can find women who just want that on well known apps.

Swinging involves much more than just sex( social side/ kinks) .

Maybe you should ask yourself if swinging is for you?

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Women don't have the same "any holes a goal" motto that many younger men do. I like a women with lots of preferences on her profile, it makes it easier for me to know if I have what she's looking for before even sending 1 message

I'd say it's more older men that have that view!

"

Really?

I'm only going by the friends I kept when I was younger, and how they've matured as they got older and aren't just out to shag anyone anymore.

Totally believe you though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women don't have the same "any holes a goal" motto that many younger men do. I like a women with lots of preferences on her profile, it makes it easier for me to know if I have what she's looking for before even sending 1 message

I'd say it's more older men that have that view!

Really?

I'm only going by the friends I kept when I was younger, and how they've matured as they got older and aren't just out to shag anyone anymore.

Totally believe you though "

Normal men maybe, men on here? Definitely not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esafinadOHolyNightMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Women don't have the same "any holes a goal" motto that many younger men do. I like a women with lots of preferences on her profile, it makes it easier for me to know if I have what she's looking for before even sending 1 message

I'd say it's more older men that have that view!

Really?

I'm only going by the friends I kept when I was younger, and how they've matured as they got older and aren't just out to shag anyone anymore.

Totally believe you though

Normal men maybe, men on here? Definitely not.

"

I can believe that for sure

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By *dinburghWomanWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Yes.

Women want what they are attracted to.

Men want sex.

"

This

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly


"Yes.

Women want what they are attracted to.

Men want sex.

This "

...yeah but not this at all though really, is it?

There are no hoops, OP.

If I see a profile that is overly critical, or negative, or... y'know, list-y, my first and last thought is 'why would I ever want to spend time with someone like that?'

Maybe one day I'll be able to blindly fuck like all the real men I hear about in anecdotes on this forum.

Hope not, though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops? Or are they reasonable expectations set out by the individual to make THEIR fab experience better work for them?

"

Exactly this! Plus as others have said, I don’t just want to ‘fuck’ - easier and (often) better using toys! If I’m going to play with someone on here I like chemistry, fantasy, something different - an experience as such!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?"

What kind of hoops?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

What kind of hoops?"

Fiery ones that lead into a vat of treacle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

What kind of hoops?

Fiery ones that lead into a vat of treacle "

Mmmmm sticky lube

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people like to ignore the entitled women on here but it's true that it happens. Some women behave in a way they never would in the real world and enjoy having that power over men, making them jump through hoops and earning whatever amazing thing they think they got. Men allow this behaviour by putting us on a pedestal and doing anything to get the sex so it's partly their fault too. I'm not bashing all women but some of them really need an attitude and reality check.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people like to ignore the entitled women on here but it's true that it happens. Some women behave in a way they never would in the real world and enjoy having that power over men, making them jump through hoops and earning whatever amazing thing they think they got. Men allow this behaviour by putting us on a pedestal and doing anything to get the sex so it's partly their fault too. I'm not bashing all women but some of them really need an attitude and reality check."

Omg #sisterhood

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?"

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say 95% of my messages come from men who want NSA. I don't want NSA. I say that on my profile.

Is that making men jump through hoops? I'd really rather not be negative but if I don't add some "hoops" the messages are even worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day "

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means.."

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham

#brotherhood

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Hoops? Or don't be a prick expectations?

A lot of men want a hole to stick it in & a lot of women want attraction, personality and more than just a cock.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke "

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story "

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart "

I said it tells another story - presents a different picture than the one you're saying here. A profile cock pic = "any hole is a goal" to many people. It doesn't seem very astute if you're trying to present yourself another way.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford


"Women have always been more selective than men for good reason though - for 99.9% of human history (i.e. before contraception was invented) if she chooses to sleep with someone there's a reasonable chance she'll be lumbered with a child for the next 20 years. So women evolved to make damn well sure that person was 'right'. The fact that it's less relevant for the past hundred years can't overcome hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.

For a guy the consequences of sleeping with a poor choice of partner are much lower so men have evolved to be way less selective.

It's not just on fab though it's the same everywhere - in bars, dating sites etc. you've always got to stand out in some way and be better looking, funnier or have a decent amount in common.

So I don't think there are any more 'hoops' here than any other place, they're just more clearly stated because on fab you can be totally open with your desires rather than beating (off) around the bush

Hope that made sense!"

Very well said! So refreshing to see a man on here who understands why women are "picky".

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart "

Some people might think that people with profile genital pics are the same as dirty mac flashers. Zero care for consent.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart

I said it tells another story - presents a different picture than the one you're saying here. A profile cock pic = "any hole is a goal" to many people. It doesn't seem very astute if you're trying to present yourself another way. "

It’s a site based on people looking for sexual adventures mainly. So a cock is pretty much very fitting isn’t it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart

I said it tells another story - presents a different picture than the one you're saying here. A profile cock pic = "any hole is a goal" to many people. It doesn't seem very astute if you're trying to present yourself another way.

It’s a site based on people looking for sexual adventures mainly. So a cock is pretty much very fitting isn’t it "

You do you. Personally I don't want to talk to cocks. Free choice.

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart

I said it tells another story - presents a different picture than the one you're saying here. A profile cock pic = "any hole is a goal" to many people. It doesn't seem very astute if you're trying to present yourself another way.

It’s a site based on people looking for sexual adventures mainly. So a cock is pretty much very fitting isn’t it

You do you. Personally I don't want to talk to cocks. Free choice. "

That’s fair enough. I still love you

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Any examples of these hoops?

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart

Some people might think that people with profile genital pics are the same as dirty mac flashers. Zero care for consent. "

If those pictures break people's consent, why aren't they reported?

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Instead of commenting and helping OP by saying something like “yeah, show up to clubs and mingle, it’ll increase your chances of you getting to know people”. We got a bit of negativity instead and I got assassinated for sharing my opinion. Stay positive OP and everyone else

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart

Some people might think that people with profile genital pics are the same as dirty mac flashers. Zero care for consent.

If those pictures break people's consent, why aren't they reported?"

The site is full of pussy and dick pics

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I've always found this counterintuitive. Yes, I understand the reasons why some women have such specific profiles. But personally, when I was looking to meet, I purposefully left my profile vague about what I was looking for...I certainly wasn't going to give anyone the tools to aid duplicitousness so they could pretend to be what I wanted in the hopes of getting their dick wet.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Define hoops?

If you mean that women won’t just meet because you’ve messaged, surely that ok?

If there are women out there asking for the moon on a stick and a gold purse containing the hope diamond prior to meeting for a social, you might have a point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes the standards on fabs are higher than real life. More hoops etc

But most use it as a sex sure yo fulfill fantasies. Not average stuff.

So ask yourself, does average fit into your ultimate fantasies?

Especially when women get offered average 12 times a day

There’s a reason most men can’t get meets on here. And it’s because humans exist on a bell curve where 80% of us are just average. Women don’t want average on here

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Normally, they are preferences to narrow the enormous pool down. Men should do it, too, rather than just cast a big net. Get what you really want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Instead of commenting and helping OP by saying something like “yeah, show up to clubs and mingle, it’ll increase your chances of you getting to know people”. We got a bit of negativity instead and I got assassinated for sharing my opinion. Stay positive OP and everyone else "

Assassinated? Your opinion is gently challenged and you call that assassination?

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

So many hoops... like a well trained circus animal please!

I'm happily demanding, I'm unapologetically here for me first and foremost, do I think anyone owes me their time.. absolutely not.

If I'm too much like hard work.. you're not for me anyway. No loss.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"So many hoops... like a well trained circus animal please!

I'm happily demanding, I'm unapologetically here for me first and foremost, do I think anyone owes me their time.. absolutely not.

If I'm too much like hard work.. you're not for me anyway. No loss. "

Pretty much this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't get a chance sometimes because of some of the abuse the females get because they turn a man down, some just can't take no for an answer, so its just easier to not reply for most, but we're not all the same.

And the hoop thing is real, I wonder how many people have missed out on what they actually want because of a technicality lol.

My opinion "

Women are quite capable of judging what is offered and deciding if it's what they want. Just as men are. I doubt they feel they've missed out by making choices.

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"Instead of commenting and helping OP by saying something like “yeah, show up to clubs and mingle, it’ll increase your chances of you getting to know people”. We got a bit of negativity instead and I got assassinated for sharing my opinion. Stay positive OP and everyone else

Assassinated? Your opinion is gently challenged and you call that assassination? "

Negative again. Don’t focus on me, guide the OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like Hula Hoops. Original are actually my favourite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worth reading too is Barry Schwartz's 2004 book, The Paradox of Choice. especially for the women

Basically, more choice leads to less decisions made and less overall happiness and satisfaction

Fabs for women is that book personified. Unlimited choices

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of women probably start out with a simple profile but then over time have to amend it because of the actions of men. The experience of a single woman on here is vastly different to that of a single man they are literally hounded and sadly a lot of the interactions aren’t positive. I can’t blame them for getting dismayed and becoming more specific. "
this about sums it up , nicely put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/11/23 08:31:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah most guys on here are 99% up to shag anything that responds to their huge net thrown.

And that mentality is what makes women raise their standards. And quite rightly so.

Why do you see it as an obstacle to find a woman with similar interests, similar outlooks and similar likes. That and messaging an interesting message and chatting away isn’t an obstacle. It’s getting to know someone.

Enjoy getting to know someone and see where it leads,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't get a chance sometimes because of some of the abuse the females get because they turn a man down, some just can't take no for an answer, so its just easier to not reply for most, but we're not all the same.

And the hoop thing is real, I wonder how many people have missed out on what they actually want because of a technicality lol.

My opinion "

Yeah the rejection rage is real and exhausting (and sometimes violent and terrifying). And not just here, everywhere we go where men are also.

What's right for me won't miss me but I'm wondering what you guys are considering as hoops here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah most guys on here are 99% up to shag anything that responds to their huge net thrown.

And that mentality is what makes women raise their standards. And quite rightly so.

Why do you see it as an obstacle to find a woman with similar interests, similar outlooks and similar likes. That and messaging an interesting message and chatting away isn’t an obstacle. It’s getting to know someone.

Enjoy getting to know someone and see where it leads, "

He gets it

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"Are there really hoops?

All I want is to feel respected and liked for being a human, and to have some things in common with potential play mates. And not to be objectified as some kind of animated fleshlight. The bar is really not so high IMO.

OK so, I'd respect you and want to get to know you genuinely.

Why if I messaged and came across like that would you choose to either respond or ignore my message "

We look at a person’s profile before even opening the message, LOTS of men fall at that step because they can’t be bothered to make an effort to stand out.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

[Removed by poster at 08/11/23 08:45:31]

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

If you could have any flavour of ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles and cherries on top, why would you go and settle for a choc ice out the back of the freezer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've always found this counterintuitive. Yes, I understand the reasons why some women have such specific profiles. But personally, when I was looking to meet, I purposefully left my profile vague about what I was looking for...I certainly wasn't going to give anyone the tools to aid duplicitousness so they could pretend to be what I wanted in the hopes of getting their dick wet. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't get a chance sometimes because of some of the abuse the females get because they turn a man down, some just can't take no for an answer, so its just easier to not reply for most, but we're not all the same.

And the hoop thing is real, I wonder how many people have missed out on what they actually want because of a technicality lol.

My opinion

Yeah the rejection rage is real and exhausting (and sometimes violent and terrifying). And not just here, everywhere we go where men are also.

What's right for me won't miss me but I'm wondering what you guys are considering as hoops here?"

"Must be a decent human being'

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"If you could have any flavour of ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles and cherries on top, why would you go and settle for a choc ice out the back of the freezer?"

Hey no need to diss the choc ice! They are my favourite ice cream

MrsAbz

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Instead of commenting and helping OP by saying something like “yeah, show up to clubs and mingle, it’ll increase your chances of you getting to know people”. We got a bit of negativity instead and I got assassinated for sharing my opinion. Stay positive OP and everyone else "
success here isn't measured by the foumites its measured by the rest of the site just do you and don't pay too much mind to whats said here

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Instead of commenting and helping OP by saying something like “yeah, show up to clubs and mingle, it’ll increase your chances of you getting to know people”. We got a bit of negativity instead and I got assassinated for sharing my opinion. Stay positive OP and everyone else success here isn't measured by the foumites its measured by the rest of the site just do you and don't pay too much mind to whats said here "
forumites

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By *each69Woman
over a year ago

doncaster


"Are there really hoops?

All I want is to feel respected and liked for being a human, and to have some things in common with potential play mates. And not to be objectified as some kind of animated fleshlight. The bar is really not so high IMO."

I so much agree with you hun I don’t think it’s the hard to be respectful too,

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart

I said it tells another story - presents a different picture than the one you're saying here. A profile cock pic = "any hole is a goal" to many people. It doesn't seem very astute if you're trying to present yourself another way.

It’s a site based on people looking for sexual adventures mainly. So a cock is pretty much very fitting isn’t it "

For other men it is, not women. Here lies one difference.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

[Removed by poster at 08/11/23 09:18:25]

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By *G TMan
over a year ago

birmingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart

I said it tells another story - presents a different picture than the one you're saying here. A profile cock pic = "any hole is a goal" to many people. It doesn't seem very astute if you're trying to present yourself another way.

It’s a site based on people looking for sexual adventures mainly. So a cock is pretty much very fitting isn’t it

For other men it is, not women. Here lies one difference."

Loads of women show pussy on here and loads of men show cock. You speak for all ‘women’ or just yourself

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

So many people seem to believe that life on fab is somehow different to life out there in the real world. People, men and women, are complex! The alchemy of attraction is neither specific nor ubiquitous. It changes, evolves, ebbs and flows, from one moment to the next, inside all of us. The attributes that ought to be standard for all parties, respect, kindness, curtesy, patience, maturity, empathy, will increase your changes of making a connection, but it guarantees you nothing. Treating somebody appropriately does not mean they will fuck you, just as being polite to people in the real world doesn’t mean you get to go home with them. All it does is raise your chances from absolute zero. Showing some basic decency towards other people shouldn’t be an effort, and if it is, you’re in the wrong place. Fab is just a platform for people with an open and healthy interest in sex to meet and connect. Being here doesn’t entitle anyone to anything x

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands


"So many people seem to believe that life on fab is somehow different to life out there in the real world. People, men and women, are complex! The alchemy of attraction is neither specific nor ubiquitous. It changes, evolves, ebbs and flows, from one moment to the next, inside all of us. The attributes that ought to be standard for all parties, respect, kindness, curtesy, patience, maturity, empathy, will increase your changes of making a connection, but it guarantees you nothing. Treating somebody appropriately does not mean they will fuck you, just as being polite to people in the real world doesn’t mean you get to go home with them. All it does is raise your chances from absolute zero. Showing some basic decency towards other people shouldn’t be an effort, and if it is, you’re in the wrong place. Fab is just a platform for people with an open and healthy interest in sex to meet and connect. Being here doesn’t entitle anyone to anything x "

Nailed it in one

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We respond to our experience, it's a natural evolution

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

If you are like 'him on the telly' no more hoops!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many people seem to believe that life on fab is somehow different to life out there in the real world. People, men and women, are complex! The alchemy of attraction is neither specific nor ubiquitous. It changes, evolves, ebbs and flows, from one moment to the next, inside all of us. The attributes that ought to be standard for all parties, respect, kindness, curtesy, patience, maturity, empathy, will increase your changes of making a connection, but it guarantees you nothing. Treating somebody appropriately does not mean they will fuck you, just as being polite to people in the real world doesn’t mean you get to go home with them. All it does is raise your chances from absolute zero. Showing some basic decency towards other people shouldn’t be an effort, and if it is, you’re in the wrong place. Fab is just a platform for people with an open and healthy interest in sex to meet and connect. Being here doesn’t entitle anyone to anything x "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it. "

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

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By *eally_RosieWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"A lot of women probably start out with a simple profile but then over time have to amend it because of the actions of men. The experience of a single woman on here is vastly different to that of a single man they are literally hounded and sadly a lot of the interactions aren’t positive. I can’t blame them for getting dismayed and becoming more specific. "

Exactly this. And I find a profile is an indication of effort generally… if a guy can’t be arsed to write a paragraph or two and take a couple of half decent pictures in an attempt to get laid… he’s probably not going to manage my needs

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Women tend to have more options - and more frustrations arising from the details of dealing with 'options'. That can play out in how profiles are constructed.

It just is what it is.

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me "

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz "

Yes. A lot of the complaints seem to boil down to "women aren't good enough for me"

Then don't say yes to things that aren't good enough? That's not hard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure it's necessarily hoops, more a way to shrink the amount of messages.

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me "
Yes, the more supply there are, one can be more specific too about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me Yes, the more supply there are, one can be more specific too about it."

Or...more men could have standards and stop criticising women for having some? I respect men with standards. Men with statuses like "anyone want their pussy licked?" - not so much.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

What seems to come through are a couple of things, 1) men have unrealistic expectations of both the website and the women on it, and 2) a lot of men don’t like having to work for what they seem to think should be theirs by right.

This leads me to believe that there are a lot of men on here who either have little respect for women, or don’t have the first clue what women want.

Mr DD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What seems to come through are a couple of things, 1) men have unrealistic expectations of both the website and the women on it, and 2) a lot of men don’t like having to work for what they seem to think should be theirs by right.

This leads me to believe that there are a lot of men on here who either have little respect for women, or don’t have the first clue what women want.

Mr DD"

I don't believe this can be true.

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

I had a conversation with a female friend last Friday evening. A lot younger than me. Her cousin ( male) was there also. He is about same age. She was complaining about males around her age and their expectations etc. She is not on here.

Most of what she said . Has been put in this thread and others about males on here. So this must happen in normal life.Males yes sending dick pics, asking for nudes and expect if go out with female a fuck . ?

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

Yes. A lot of the complaints seem to boil down to "women aren't good enough for me"

Then don't say yes to things that aren't good enough? That's not hard."

I do find it baffling really. Any person is free to say no to another... so what is the problem?

Have your standards, don't go for anyone with "hoops" you do not wish to jump through, say no to anyone who doesn't meet your requirements.

Easy

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

It’s because women don’t give it away so easy mate. Plus they don’t really know us sitting behind our phones, we know we’re decent blokes but they don’t. I guess going the clubs helps with that. Seems to me if you go there a few times and mingle, get to know people you’ll be fine. I can’t go there yet but maybe one day

Women and men have different opinions on what 'decent' means..

Well I speak for myself then, I know I’m a decent bloke

I'd say your profile pic tells another story

So anyone that shows a cock isn’t a decent person, wow. Smart

I said it tells another story - presents a different picture than the one you're saying here. A profile cock pic = "any hole is a goal" to many people. It doesn't seem very astute if you're trying to present yourself another way.

It’s a site based on people looking for sexual adventures mainly. So a cock is pretty much very fitting isn’t it

For other men it is, not women. Here lies one difference.

Loads of women show pussy on here and loads of men show cock. You speak for all ‘women’ or just yourself "

From experience. Men get more turned on by just photo's, I'm sure other men enjoy looking at cock.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me Yes, the more supply there are, one can be more specific too about it.

Or...more men could have standards and stop criticising women for having some? I respect men with standards. Men with statuses like "anyone want their pussy licked?" - not so much. "

What’s that’s got to do with what I typed?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me Yes, the more supply there are, one can be more specific too about it.

Or...more men could have standards and stop criticising women for having some? I respect men with standards. Men with statuses like "anyone want their pussy licked?" - not so much.

What’s that’s got to do with what I typed? "

I wasn't replying to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me Yes, the more supply there are, one can be more specific too about it.

Or...more men could have standards and stop criticising women for having some? I respect men with standards. Men with statuses like "anyone want their pussy licked?" - not so much.

What’s that’s got to do with what I typed?

I wasn't replying to you"

Gotcha, don’t hit reply to my comment would make that more clear but

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me Yes, the more supply there are, one can be more specific too about it.

Or...more men could have standards and stop criticising women for having some? I respect men with standards. Men with statuses like "anyone want their pussy licked?" - not so much.

What’s that’s got to do with what I typed?

I wasn't replying to you

Gotcha, don’t hit reply to my comment would make that more clear but "

I didn't. I replied to the guy who replied to your comment.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz "

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/11/23 13:24:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never mind, internet hard hit me too

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

Yes. A lot of the complaints seem to boil down to "women aren't good enough for me"

Then don't say yes to things that aren't good enough? That's not hard.

I do find it baffling really. Any person is free to say no to another... so what is the problem?

Have your standards, don't go for anyone with "hoops" you do not wish to jump through, say no to anyone who doesn't meet your requirements.

Easy

MrsAbz "

Quite. I've throttled my meets in the last few years. Do I meet someone below the standards I set for myself, or do I have a wank?

Wanking is better than a bad meet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion "

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

Yes. A lot of the complaints seem to boil down to "women aren't good enough for me"

Then don't say yes to things that aren't good enough? That's not hard.

I do find it baffling really. Any person is free to say no to another... so what is the problem?

Have your standards, don't go for anyone with "hoops" you do not wish to jump through, say no to anyone who doesn't meet your requirements.

Easy

MrsAbz

Quite. I've throttled my meets in the last few years. Do I meet someone below the standards I set for myself, or do I have a wank?

Wanking is better than a bad meet"

Infinetly better

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz "

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s "

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

"

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Oh my... God forbid we have standards and boundaries....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham

[Removed by poster at 08/11/23 13:51:33]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ottsGuy24Man
over a year ago

Beeston

If a woman gets 400 messages within 1 hour of having a new account. What chance does anyone have. The ROI is going to be very low for abyone. I have done some searches and a lot of accounts of women are not being used. It goes one month and upwards.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet "

There would be alot of lonely woman on here if the guys upped there standards even just a lil

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet "

I disagree.

If they were getting no offers with their low effort, then they would have to up their game or accept defeat and give up. The incentive to do more would be there.

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

Bob Marley once said...

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively"

But that has fuck all to do with this post! He also said...

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for".

So put all your effort into 1 woman you really like on here, lots of thought, tap into what you have compatible and go for it.

Then sit back and relax and wait as fuck all happens because some guy has a bigger schlong than you or ripped abs, or a dad bod or something else she prefers over you.

Then cry on your pillow. Wake up and repeat, but put less effort in and send to 1000s in a cut and paste.

Works for me. Not. I'm going gay in 2024. New year's resolution and all that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

Yes. A lot of the complaints seem to boil down to "women aren't good enough for me"

Then don't say yes to things that aren't good enough? That's not hard.

I do find it baffling really. Any person is free to say no to another... so what is the problem?

Have your standards, don't go for anyone with "hoops" you do not wish to jump through, say no to anyone who doesn't meet your requirements.

Easy

MrsAbz

Quite. I've throttled my meets in the last few years. Do I meet someone below the standards I set for myself, or do I have a wank?

Wanking is better than a bad meet"

Your patio must be huge!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *herlockOhmsMan
over a year ago

Ripley

What it seems to boil down to is that women get hundreds of messages with little meaningful content that they have to sift through, from guys that spam hundreds out. The way some dating sites have addressed this is severely limited first contact messages per day.

This would be a win for both sides - guys would put actual effort into messages because their number of chances are limited so have to make the most of them, and only message couples or women they genuinely think are compatible. Men would be more likely to get a reply because they're no longer message 1 of 400, more like 1 of 10.

Just an idea, probably won't be popular though

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bob Marley once said...

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively"

But that has fuck all to do with this post! He also said...

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for".

So put all your effort into 1 woman you really like on here, lots of thought, tap into what you have compatible and go for it.

Then sit back and relax and wait as fuck all happens because some guy has a bigger schlong than you or ripped abs, or a dad bod or something else she prefers over you.

Then cry on your pillow. Wake up and repeat, but put less effort in and send to 1000s in a cut and paste.

Works for me. Not. I'm going gay in 2024. New year's resolution and all that.

"

Cock for the win..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

Yes. A lot of the complaints seem to boil down to "women aren't good enough for me"

Then don't say yes to things that aren't good enough? That's not hard.

I do find it baffling really. Any person is free to say no to another... so what is the problem?

Have your standards, don't go for anyone with "hoops" you do not wish to jump through, say no to anyone who doesn't meet your requirements.

Easy

MrsAbz

Quite. I've throttled my meets in the last few years. Do I meet someone below the standards I set for myself, or do I have a wank?

Wanking is better than a bad meet

Your patio must be huge! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

There would be alot of lonely woman on here if the guys upped there standards even just a lil "

Nah, I still get offers.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet

There would be alot of lonely woman on here if the guys upped there standards even just a lil "

There wouldn’t be, because the type of guy women want to meet already has standards

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

That’s why fabs lacks an abundance of quality guys. The environment repels them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

"

The way I look at this is that a lazy profile is a lazy profile regardless of who is behind it.

There are weekly threads offering unsolicited advice to men about what they are doing wrong and how to improve their chances on here.

I've never seen one advising women and couples despite the fact in many cases they are guilty of all the things men get criticised for, including poor or no pics, one line bios, ignorant messages and so on.

Of course they will always get more messages and more attention regardless but for those who complain about the quality of messages they receive it's obviously not the attention they are seeking.

Just like those who complain about being inundated with messages and have an inbox filled with hundreds of unread correspondence.

When they're advised to use the available filters the reply is always to ask "why should I have to?"

Again it's a simple fix and would immediately sort out all those broken and mouldy biscuits and give them the chance to choose a better biscuit but anyone suggesting such a thing is derided for having the cheek to say so.

I've made an effort with my profile. Some will like it and some won't but anyone getting in touch with one syllable messages or lists of instructions and demands will be ignored or responded to in a similar disrespectful manner.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet

There would be alot of lonely woman on here if the guys upped there standards even just a lil

There wouldn’t be, because the type of guy women want to meet already has standards

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

That’s why fabs lacks an abundance of quality guys. The environment repels them "

So your solution to men being desperate and validating women who apparently aren't good enough is that women should change?

Funny how that works. It's always someone else's fault

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me Yes, the more supply there are, one can be more specific too about it.

Or...more men could have standards and stop criticising women for having some? I respect men with standards. Men with statuses like "anyone want their pussy licked?" - not so much. "
Yes, they could have that, but they would have wait longer to find one too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet

There would be alot of lonely woman on here if the guys upped there standards even just a lil

There wouldn’t be, because the type of guy women want to meet already has standards

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

That’s why fabs lacks an abundance of quality guys. The environment repels them

So your solution to men being desperate and validating women who apparently aren't good enough is that women should change?

Funny how that works. It's always someone else's fault "

If you read further up I said

“And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. ”

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?"

If there are too many "hoops" I move on, I'm not gonna be that guy. I'm here hoping to meet a lady with a similar outlook to me

only hoop I jump to/set is we find each other mutually attractive

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

"

Um. If a guy is looking to swing, on a swinging site, fab is probably the place to be.

This is where I need a shrug emoji.

Mrs TMN

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?"

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

If there are too many "hoops" I move on, I'm not gonna be that guy. I'm here hoping to meet a lady with a similar outlook to me

only hoop I jump to/set is we find each other mutually attractive"

See, the way I see hoops is, "this is what I'm likely to find attractive". That way, if you've got an 80s tash and I hate that shit, you don't waste your time messaging me. (random example)

That or reducing Fabmin. "Guys, I get umpty billion messages a day*, if you've done me the basic courtesy of reading my profile, show it some way so I don't spend hours doing admin on something that should be fun"

* not me. I do not get umpty billion messages a day.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen


"Bob Marley once said...

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively"

But that has fuck all to do with this post! He also said...

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for".

So put all your effort into 1 woman you really like on here, lots of thought, tap into what you have compatible and go for it.

Then sit back and relax and wait as fuck all happens because some guy has a bigger schlong than you or ripped abs, or a dad bod or something else she prefers over you.

Then cry on your pillow. Wake up and repeat, but put less effort in and send to 1000s in a cut and paste.

Works for me. Not. I'm going gay in 2024. New year's resolution and all that.

Cock for the win.. "

Absofuckinglutely. Or I could grow tits instead lol. I'm halfway there already.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

Um. If a guy is looking to swing, on a swinging site, fab is probably the place to be.

This is where I need a shrug emoji.

Mrs TMN "

I am currently looking for biscuits...

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Bob Marley once said...

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively"

But that has fuck all to do with this post! He also said...

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for".

So put all your effort into 1 woman you really like on here, lots of thought, tap into what you have compatible and go for it.

Then sit back and relax and wait as fuck all happens because some guy has a bigger schlong than you or ripped abs, or a dad bod or something else she prefers over you.

Then cry on your pillow. Wake up and repeat, but put less effort in and send to 1000s in a cut and paste.

Works for me. Not. I'm going gay in 2024. New year's resolution and all that.

Cock for the win..

Absofuckinglutely. Or I could grow tits instead lol. I'm halfway there already."

living on a prayer?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

Um. If a guy is looking to swing, on a swinging site, fab is probably the place to be.

This is where I need a shrug emoji.

Mrs TMN

I am currently looking for biscuits...

MrsAbz "

Ooh, any wagon wheels?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

Um. If a guy is looking to swing, on a swinging site, fab is probably the place to be.

This is where I need a shrug emoji.

Mrs TMN

I am currently looking for biscuits...

MrsAbz

Ooh, any wagon wheels? "

I'd love one but the gremlins who persist in living in my house have eaten everything

Today is a sad biscuitless day

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

Um. If a guy is looking to swing, on a swinging site, fab is probably the place to be.

This is where I need a shrug emoji.

Mrs TMN

I am currently looking for biscuits...

MrsAbz

Ooh, any wagon wheels?

I'd love one but the gremlins who persist in living in my house have eaten everything

Today is a sad biscuitless day

MrsAbz"

Give them the dunt! That is unacceptable.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"What seems to come through are a couple of things, 1) men have unrealistic expectations of both the website and the women on it, and 2) a lot of men don’t like having to work for what they seem to think should be theirs by right.

This leads me to believe that there are a lot of men on here who either have little respect for women, or don’t have the first clue what women want.

Mr DD"

Oh and 3) it’s always the fault of women and couples.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet

There would be alot of lonely woman on here if the guys upped there standards even just a lil

There wouldn’t be, because the type of guy women want to meet already has standards

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

That’s why fabs lacks an abundance of quality guys. The environment repels them "

Can someone please elaborate on what these "hoops" actually are you're all being made to jump through that are so repellent?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me Yes, the more supply there are, one can be more specific too about it.

Or...more men could have standards and stop criticising women for having some? I respect men with standards. Men with statuses like "anyone want their pussy licked?" - not so much. "

Exactly, many ask to meet without ever seeing what we look like & send messages saying they're in town for a couple of hours and are horny. Like anyone will do.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

Um. If a guy is looking to swing, on a swinging site, fab is probably the place to be.

This is where I need a shrug emoji.

Mrs TMN

I am currently looking for biscuits...

MrsAbz

Ooh, any wagon wheels?

I'd love one but the gremlins who persist in living in my house have eaten everything

Today is a sad biscuitless day

MrsAbz

Give them the dunt! That is unacceptable. "

I keep trying but they refuse to go. Excuses like "er, you're our mum you have to feed us and house us" get thrown around. Just rude if you ask me

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

Um. If a guy is looking to swing, on a swinging site, fab is probably the place to be.

This is where I need a shrug emoji.

Mrs TMN

I am currently looking for biscuits...

MrsAbz

Ooh, any wagon wheels?

I'd love one but the gremlins who persist in living in my house have eaten everything

Today is a sad biscuitless day

MrsAbz

Give them the dunt! That is unacceptable.

I keep trying but they refuse to go. Excuses like "er, you're our mum you have to feed us and house us" get thrown around. Just rude if you ask me

MrsAbz "

Honestly. The world's gone mad. Bloody entitled biscuit eaters.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"What seems to come through are a couple of things, 1) men have unrealistic expectations of both the website and the women on it, and 2) a lot of men don’t like having to work for what they seem to think should be theirs by right.

This leads me to believe that there are a lot of men on here who either have little respect for women, or don’t have the first clue what women want.

Mr DD

Oh and 3) it’s always the fault of women and couples."

just spread 'em luv it'll be over soon

I'll accept that for a pap smear?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want "

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity "

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity "

In my experience it’s usually when guys are loud about their preferences it’s not very kind and sometimes from a bitter place

Very rarely will you see someone complaining about a respectfully expressed preference, and the few that do get shitty about that, as the forumites like to say, is a great filter

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet

There would be alot of lonely woman on here if the guys upped there standards even just a lil

There wouldn’t be, because the type of guy women want to meet already has standards

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

That’s why fabs lacks an abundance of quality guys. The environment repels them

Can someone please elaborate on what these "hoops" actually are you're all being made to jump through that are so repellent?"

I can't comment on hoops on profiles because I read those as preferences and just pass on by.

I can however comment on hoops in messages because those preferences suddenly become entitled and disrespectful.

I've had messages from people I've never spoken to telling me to lose the beard or I'll never get to fuck them, get a room sorted for the next day and make sure it's close to their location and I've also been told I'm too old and too straight to ever be successful here.

If I agree to play bi and also bring a sexy lady they will consider adding me to their to-do lists for future events.

If the roles were reversed and I sent messages like that to others out of the blue I would be ignored or told to go fuck myself.

These were all very well verified people, in some cases with 100+ veries and when challenged if this approach ever worked I was told yes every time.

The inevitable happened when I told them not this time.

Then it was my loss, I was asked if I was an idiot, did I not know who they were and their standing in the community and as such could end my journey?

Very different to reading and choosing to ignore on a profile but it sums up how some people see others as chattel.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

If there are too many "hoops" I move on, I'm not gonna be that guy. I'm here hoping to meet a lady with a similar outlook to me

only hoop I jump to/set is we find each other mutually attractive

See, the way I see hoops is, "this is what I'm likely to find attractive". That way, if you've got an 80s tash and I hate that shit, you don't waste your time messaging me. (random example)

That or reducing Fabmin. "Guys, I get umpty billion messages a day*, if you've done me the basic courtesy of reading my profile, show it some way so I don't spend hours doing admin on something that should be fun"

* not me. I do not get umpty billion messages a day."

My definition of a hoop maybe different to yours, your hoop ^ is what i'd call preference ,

I see some that want pictures with objects of their choosing in pictures so they know you're genuine etc,

I'm not gonna be that guy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet

There would be alot of lonely woman on here if the guys upped there standards even just a lil

There wouldn’t be, because the type of guy women want to meet already has standards

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

That’s why fabs lacks an abundance of quality guys. The environment repels them

Can someone please elaborate on what these "hoops" actually are you're all being made to jump through that are so repellent?

I can't comment on hoops on profiles because I read those as preferences and just pass on by.

I can however comment on hoops in messages because those preferences suddenly become entitled and disrespectful.

I've had messages from people I've never spoken to telling me to lose the beard or I'll never get to fuck them, get a room sorted for the next day and make sure it's close to their location and I've also been told I'm too old and too straight to ever be successful here.

If I agree to play bi and also bring a sexy lady they will consider adding me to their to-do lists for future events.

If the roles were reversed and I sent messages like that to others out of the blue I would be ignored or told to go fuck myself.

These were all very well verified people, in some cases with 100+ veries and when challenged if this approach ever worked I was told yes every time.

The inevitable happened when I told them not this time.

Then it was my loss, I was asked if I was an idiot, did I not know who they were and their standing in the community and as such could end my journey?

Very different to reading and choosing to ignore on a profile but it sums up how some people see others as chattel. "

I always admire your stance on things like this RB,

People including men have a choice to jump through these so called hoops or they can say no ta, not for me.

The demands you've mentioned are unreasonable & show massive entitlement. Some other things on profiles aren't so much ie no smokers or men just in town for a night.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz "

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I can't comment on hoops on profiles because I read those as preferences and just pass on by.

I can however comment on hoops in messages because those preferences suddenly become entitled and disrespectful.

I've had messages from people I've never spoken to telling me to lose the beard or I'll never get to fuck them, get a room sorted for the next day and make sure it's close to their location and I've also been told I'm too old and too straight to ever be successful here.

If I agree to play bi and also bring a sexy lady they will consider adding me to their to-do lists for future events.

If the roles were reversed and I sent messages like that to others out of the blue I would be ignored or told to go fuck myself.

These were all very well verified people, in some cases with 100+ veries and when challenged if this approach ever worked I was told yes every time.

The inevitable happened when I told them not this time.

Then it was my loss, I was asked if I was an idiot, did I not know who they were and their standing in the community and as such could end my journey?

Very different to reading and choosing to ignore on a profile but it sums up how some people see others as chattel. "

The hoops for me are being expected to put up with double standards

Poor profiles with no pictures expecting me to have a great profile and tonnes of pics

People demanding engaging, funny and witty messages, but replying with very little themselves

Some people are just outright demanding and rude, and expect you to just take it because they know even getting a reply is considered a privilege for guys on here

And I only say these are hoops because they are treated as such, because most women and couples fully understand that if you don’t jump these hoops, they have 100 other people that will, and they know men know that too. In a way, your often forced to either play the game, or accept you’ll have a really low level of success on here

Which is why I think there’s a lacking of quality guys. They don’t need to play the game on fabs, there’s far more rewarding options that don’t require you to put up with such terrible behaviour

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards"

I don't think stating you prefer a gym bod etc would cause outrage at all.

There is a difference in stating

"Atheltic body type preferred" to "no chunky monkeys"

It really doesn't offend anyone to state a preferrence nicely.

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"So many hoops... like a well trained circus animal please!

I'm happily demanding, I'm unapologetically here for me first and foremost, do I think anyone owes me their time.. absolutely not.

If I'm too much like hard work.. you're not for me anyway. No loss. "

Couldn't agree more...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards"

Men are perfectly entitled to have whatever they want on their profiles. I often see them looking for BBW for example, or submissive women. No harm in that at all.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Some people like to ignore the entitled women on here but it's true that it happens. Some women behave in a way they never would in the real world and enjoy having that power over men, making them jump through hoops and earning whatever amazing thing they think they got. Men allow this behaviour by putting us on a pedestal and doing anything to get the sex so it's partly their fault too. I'm not bashing all women but some of them really need an attitude and reality check."

I do fully agree with this. But it’s not just women, this applies to couples also.

I don’t want to be put onto a pedestal. I just like to find others with the same interests and there be an attraction there.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards"

Think your way off buddy, I think most women appreciate a guy with real preferences, what they don’t like is guts expressing that as a negative towards people that aren’t there preference

Who’s been nasty to you for respectfully expressing a preference? Are they here in the room with us now?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

I don't think stating you prefer a gym bod etc would cause outrage at all.

There is a difference in stating

"Atheltic body type preferred" to "no chunky monkeys"

It really doesn't offend anyone to state a preferrence nicely.

MrsAbz "

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen


"Bob Marley once said...

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively"

But that has fuck all to do with this post! He also said...

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for".

So put all your effort into 1 woman you really like on here, lots of thought, tap into what you have compatible and go for it.

Then sit back and relax and wait as fuck all happens because some guy has a bigger schlong than you or ripped abs, or a dad bod or something else she prefers over you.

Then cry on your pillow. Wake up and repeat, but put less effort in and send to 1000s in a cut and paste.

Works for me. Not. I'm going gay in 2024. New year's resolution and all that.

Cock for the win..

Absofuckinglutely. Or I could grow tits instead lol. I'm halfway there already.

living on a prayer?"

Thanks now I can't get the song outta my head!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

I don't think stating you prefer a gym bod etc would cause outrage at all.

There is a difference in stating

"Atheltic body type preferred" to "no chunky monkeys"

It really doesn't offend anyone to state a preferrence nicely.

MrsAbz

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority "

Maybe the majority on here but not in the real world. I know a hell of a lot of people and have a 26 and a 15 year old and know most of their mates and not once in my life have I ever met someone who wants to be referred to as “they/them”.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

I don't think stating you prefer a gym bod etc would cause outrage at all.

There is a difference in stating

"Atheltic body type preferred" to "no chunky monkeys"

It really doesn't offend anyone to state a preferrence nicely.

MrsAbz

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority "

Ok well pronoun usage is a completely different topic to stating a preference on body type.

As noted above, who has actually complained about a nicely stated preference on a male profile?

No women I know (nor have I seen on here) has an issue with male preferences.

Where is it you are seeing these women objecting to it?

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority "

Peoples preferred gender is silly nonsense? Wow...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority

Peoples preferred gender is silly nonsense? Wow... "

I’ve only ever met one they/them. Took me all of 5 minutes to get used to using their preferred pronouns. I didn’t die either

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

Think your way off buddy, I think most women appreciate a guy with real preferences, what they don’t like is guts expressing that as a negative towards people that aren’t there preference

Who’s been nasty to you for respectfully expressing a preference? Are they here in the room with us now? "
The woman only appreciate it when it matchs there's if it doesn't then there's a problem

And no one I don't have a list of must haves or most dos you could end up missing out on some that ticks most your boxes buts they faulted in one other box every one deserves the opportunity and not get written just because they struggle for words in a text in person they might end up being the best conversation you could ever have

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

Think your way off buddy, I think most women appreciate a guy with real preferences, what they don’t like is guts expressing that as a negative towards people that aren’t there preference

Who’s been nasty to you for respectfully expressing a preference? Are they here in the room with us now? The woman only appreciate it when it matchs there's if it doesn't then there's a problem

And no one I don't have a list of must haves or most dos you could end up missing out on some that ticks most your boxes buts they faulted in one other box every one deserves the opportunity and not get written just because they struggle for words in a text in person they might end up being the best conversation you could ever have "

I partly agree, everyone loses out on fabs because the medium isn’t great for matchmaking

I don’t however think the answer is that women should give even Tom dick and harry that says “hey” a chance to showcase their personality. It’s not realistic, or fair.

If people want fabs to be better, we already know what everyone needs to do

“You get out what you put in”

If men, women and couples put in more effort, they’d all have a better time

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham


"

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority

Peoples preferred gender is silly nonsense? Wow... "
preferred gender my point exactly it's being made more and more complicated no wonder men struggle with what is expected of them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham

[Removed by poster at 08/11/23 15:24:31]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority

Peoples preferred gender is silly nonsense? Wow... preferred gender my point exactly it's being made more and more complicated no wonder men struggle with what is expected of them "

Ok, now you are taking the biscuit.

Does it matter to you what pronoun someone uses - how many times has that been an actual issue to you?

I'm willing to bet that it has never, ever come up as an actual issue at all

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

Think your way off buddy, I think most women appreciate a guy with real preferences, what they don’t like is guts expressing that as a negative towards people that aren’t there preference

Who’s been nasty to you for respectfully expressing a preference? Are they here in the room with us now? The woman only appreciate it when it matchs there's if it doesn't then there's a problem

And no one I don't have a list of must haves or most dos you could end up missing out on some that ticks most your boxes buts they faulted in one other box every one deserves the opportunity and not get written just because they struggle for words in a text in person they might end up being the best conversation you could ever have

I partly agree, everyone loses out on fabs because the medium isn’t great for matchmaking

I don’t however think the answer is that women should give even Tom dick and harry that says “hey” a chance to showcase their personality. It’s not realistic, or fair.

If people want fabs to be better, we already know what everyone needs to do

“You get out what you put in”

If men, women and couples put in more effort, they’d all have a better time "

I mean chance by no just having there message flat out deleted because they haven't written a paragraph or sumin silly obviously more then just hey thou lol alot of guys try with proper opening message and then they get judged on appearance which is why they just get shunned with no response

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If women have such awful profiles and are so demanding, why are they still getting lots of messages?

If men are unhappy with what women demand, they don't have to message.

And fwiw, I've read multiple mens' profiles just in the last week which specify a slim body type. No outrage here. Their preference.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority

Peoples preferred gender is silly nonsense? Wow... preferred gender my point exactly it's being made more and more complicated no wonder men struggle with what is expected of them "

What is expected of men? Shall we make a list?

Turn up.

Look like your pics.

String a sentence together.

Don’t be creepy.

Take no for an answer.

Be respectful.

Ya know, basic human decency?

Now, how do other peoples preferred pronouns stop you as a man from doing any or all of the above?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

Think your way off buddy, I think most women appreciate a guy with real preferences, what they don’t like is guts expressing that as a negative towards people that aren’t there preference

Who’s been nasty to you for respectfully expressing a preference? Are they here in the room with us now? The woman only appreciate it when it matchs there's if it doesn't then there's a problem

And no one I don't have a list of must haves or most dos you could end up missing out on some that ticks most your boxes buts they faulted in one other box every one deserves the opportunity and not get written just because they struggle for words in a text in person they might end up being the best conversation you could ever have

I partly agree, everyone loses out on fabs because the medium isn’t great for matchmaking

I don’t however think the answer is that women should give even Tom dick and harry that says “hey” a chance to showcase their personality. It’s not realistic, or fair.

If people want fabs to be better, we already know what everyone needs to do

“You get out what you put in”

If men, women and couples put in more effort, they’d all have a better time

I mean chance by no just having there message flat out deleted because they haven't written a paragraph or sumin silly obviously more then just hey thou lol alot of guys try with proper opening message and then they get judged on appearance which is why they just get shunned with no response

"

The problem is, I dunno what you expect them to do

Message with no pics, they get 1000s of them, they can’t reply to them all

Message with pics but they aren’t attracted? Again, what do you want them to do?

Seems like your hyper focused on women giving low effort guys more effort, which isn’t fair

How about we all put in more effort?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

Think your way off buddy, I think most women appreciate a guy with real preferences, what they don’t like is guts expressing that as a negative towards people that aren’t there preference

Who’s been nasty to you for respectfully expressing a preference? Are they here in the room with us now? The woman only appreciate it when it matchs there's if it doesn't then there's a problem

And no one I don't have a list of must haves or most dos you could end up missing out on some that ticks most your boxes buts they faulted in one other box every one deserves the opportunity and not get written just because they struggle for words in a text in person they might end up being the best conversation you could ever have

I partly agree, everyone loses out on fabs because the medium isn’t great for matchmaking

I don’t however think the answer is that women should give even Tom dick and harry that says “hey” a chance to showcase their personality. It’s not realistic, or fair.

If people want fabs to be better, we already know what everyone needs to do

“You get out what you put in”

If men, women and couples put in more effort, they’d all have a better time

I mean chance by no just having there message flat out deleted because they haven't written a paragraph or sumin silly obviously more then just hey thou lol alot of guys try with proper opening message and then they get judged on appearance which is why they just get shunned with no response

"

And? You need to be attracted to them do you not? Nothing wrong with that at all

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority

Peoples preferred gender is silly nonsense? Wow... preferred gender my point exactly it's being made more and more complicated no wonder men struggle with what is expected of them

What is expected of men? Shall we make a list?

Turn up.

Look like your pics.

String a sentence together.

Don’t be creepy.

Take no for an answer.

Be respectful.

Ya know, basic human decency?

Now, how do other peoples preferred pronouns stop you as a man from doing any or all of the above?"

I never like answers like this either because it’s disingenuous

That’s not the list that guys needs to do. You all have 100 guys in your inbox right now that would do all that, but arent getting replies

Be honest about what you want and you might actually get it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham


"have any of you noticed the difference in what a Woman wants as against a Man in the bio pages on Fab. So many hoops to have to jump through with the Ladies?....is it my imagination?

They know what they want

Also there’s that many guys on here they can afford to filter what / who they don’t want

The difference Is tho when woman set these standards guys gotta be this guys gotta have that it's ok coz it's knowing what they want soon as men start saying she can't be this or gotta have that we are body shaming or branded toxic masculinity

There is ways of saying what you prefer without being rude to others though.

Men often fail at that point.

Plus, men struggle because if they say "I want this particular set of parameters" and they don't get that, no woman outside of those parameters is going to then be interested (which is absolutely acceptable).

MrsAbz

A man can't say it any way without it be offensive

Woman has on her profile you have gotta go gym and have gym bod total acceptable coz that's they want now imagine a bloke has that on his profile the outrage it would cause

Double standards

Think your way off buddy, I think most women appreciate a guy with real preferences, what they don’t like is guts expressing that as a negative towards people that aren’t there preference

Who’s been nasty to you for respectfully expressing a preference? Are they here in the room with us now? The woman only appreciate it when it matchs there's if it doesn't then there's a problem

And no one I don't have a list of must haves or most dos you could end up missing out on some that ticks most your boxes buts they faulted in one other box every one deserves the opportunity and not get written just because they struggle for words in a text in person they might end up being the best conversation you could ever have

I partly agree, everyone loses out on fabs because the medium isn’t great for matchmaking

I don’t however think the answer is that women should give even Tom dick and harry that says “hey” a chance to showcase their personality. It’s not realistic, or fair.

If people want fabs to be better, we already know what everyone needs to do

“You get out what you put in”

If men, women and couples put in more effort, they’d all have a better time

I mean chance by no just having there message flat out deleted because they haven't written a paragraph or sumin silly obviously more then just hey thou lol alot of guys try with proper opening message and then they get judged on appearance which is why they just get shunned with no response

"

No it doesn't matter to me at all it's just confusing remember men are simple creatures nd we all of a sudden have start thinking and understanding all these new things that 90% of womam are wanting from there men it's no wonder our grandparents are the last generation of true love and happiness they kept it simple

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority

Peoples preferred gender is silly nonsense? Wow... preferred gender my point exactly it's being made more and more complicated no wonder men struggle with what is expected of them

What is expected of men? Shall we make a list?

Turn up.

Look like your pics.

String a sentence together.

Don’t be creepy.

Take no for an answer.

Be respectful.

Ya know, basic human decency?

Now, how do other peoples preferred pronouns stop you as a man from doing any or all of the above?

I never like answers like this either because it’s disingenuous

That’s not the list that guys needs to do. You all have 100 guys in your inbox right now that would do all that, but arent getting replies

Be honest about what you want and you might actually get it "

Okay fine mr arguepants, obviously I couldn’t be fucked to list everything so I went for the short version

And far be it from me to disagree with you about what ‘I’ want, but yes, I do actually want the above as a basic starter package. That’s being honest.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyloverextraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Gillingham

[Removed by poster at 08/11/23 15:37:04]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"

Maybe 20years ago not today now men gotta ask if it's ok to call you a lady or she/her they r what silly ever nonsense has been invented that week so not to cause offence it don't matter how men word it it will always be offensive to the majority

Peoples preferred gender is silly nonsense? Wow... preferred gender my point exactly it's being made more and more complicated no wonder men struggle with what is expected of them

What is expected of men? Shall we make a list?

Turn up.

Look like your pics.

String a sentence together.

Don’t be creepy.

Take no for an answer.

Be respectful.

Ya know, basic human decency?

Now, how do other peoples preferred pronouns stop you as a man from doing any or all of the above?

I never like answers like this either because it’s disingenuous

That’s not the list that guys needs to do. You all have 100 guys in your inbox right now that would do all that, but arent getting replies

Be honest about what you want and you might actually get it "

But then women are honest and state their preferences and we are right back at the beginning of "hoops to jump through" being moaned at!

Women will still get messages from those who do not fit their requirements and those people will still be annoyed they weren't given a chance, despite not being suitable.

MrsAbz

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay fine mr arguepants, obviously I couldn’t be fucked to list everything so I went for the short version

And far be it from me to disagree with you about what ‘I’ want, but yes, I do actually want the above as a basic starter package. That’s being honest.

"

That’s part of the problem though isn’t it.

Your saying you want a really basic list of things, and tonnes of guys that offer all that aren’t even getting replies and then they don’t understand

And it’s so common. “I just want someone nice and respectful” - no you don’t, there’s 100 other things they need to be, just be honest

The issue is the list you offer makes it sound like it’s so easy and men just aren’t living up to an extremely basic list, when that’s not the case.

A little honesty on both sides goes a long way

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they hoops or preferences though?. We are all entitled to ask for whatever we want on our profiles op.

Why should women meet or choose just anyone on here, to save some men getting the hump.

I'm very clear on my profile, it does deter some people, which he how I like it.

Call it what you want, the fact that many couples and women on here demand maximum efforts from guys while offering very little themselves, all while knowing they won’t be held to a standard because men outnumber them 100 to 1 seems more like a hoop than a standard to me

Prehaps the solution is that men have standards in place then?

If all the single men had standards and preferences clearly stated and held to, surely then you would see the result you want?

I don't think it would lead to more men getting what they want but prehaps fewer others having what they want or having to do a little more work to get there?

MrsAbz

I think it would result in both sides getting more of what they want in my opinion

I don't think it would but it doesn't matter really

Men should just have their standards and stick to them, same as the majority of women do, it would stop the same old complaints coming up all the time

MrsAbz

I agree, it just means both sides won’t have as much fun

The type of guy most women want to meet won’t put up with low effort, demanding woman. So when women say they struggle to find a suitable meet on here when there’s 100 men to every woman, it’s most likely not down to no men meeting her standards, it’s that the men that she would be interested in don’t get much past the overly demanding bio or low effort first few messages

And it’s not just women either, low effort on both sides ruins the experience. The issue is that men feel the consequences of low effort by getting zero replies, and either learn to fix it and accept defeat. Women and couples continue to get endless messages and assume it’s not their low effort that’s hurting them, it’s everyone else’s

But surely the solution is, again, that men keep to there standards?

If women and couples are inundated with offers, there is no incentive to change the way things are done.

Its like if I can eat a thousand biscuits a day without exercising and I don't put on weight, why would I make the effort to exercise?

If I then discover I am putting on weight eating a thousand biscuits, I will have to make the effort to exercise because there is incentive to do so. I will make the change because it is needed.

MrsAbz (who may be slightly hungry and wants a biscuit)

Men keeping up their standards won’t fix the issue of low effort women and couples putting off the type of guy they’d wanna meet

There would be alot of lonely woman on here if the guys upped there standards even just a lil

There wouldn’t be, because the type of guy women want to meet already has standards

Do you really think quality guy that can pull on a night out or on the apps is going to stick around on fabs where 99% of first messages go unopened and most women/couples treat guys as disposable until they’ve jumped through 20 hoops for them? Obviously not

That’s why fabs lacks an abundance of quality guys. The environment repels them

Can someone please elaborate on what these "hoops" actually are you're all being made to jump through that are so repellent?

I can't comment on hoops on profiles because I read those as preferences and just pass on by.

I can however comment on hoops in messages because those preferences suddenly become entitled and disrespectful.

I've had messages from people I've never spoken to telling me to lose the beard or I'll never get to fuck them, get a room sorted for the next day and make sure it's close to their location and I've also been told I'm too old and too straight to ever be successful here.

If I agree to play bi and also bring a sexy lady they will consider adding me to their to-do lists for future events.

If the roles were reversed and I sent messages like that to others out of the blue I would be ignored or told to go fuck myself.

These were all very well verified people, in some cases with 100+ veries and when challenged if this approach ever worked I was told yes every time.

The inevitable happened when I told them not this time.

Then it was my loss, I was asked if I was an idiot, did I not know who they were and their standing in the community and as such could end my journey?

Very different to reading and choosing to ignore on a profile but it sums up how some people see others as chattel. "

Thanks for this perspective. Those people sound awful. Are you not grateful they cockblocked themselves out of a meet with you though? I would be.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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