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Joke

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"Excuse me " i said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus. " You have sperm on the back of your coat" She said its not sperm, its probably yoghurt.

I said " its definetly sperm i dont ejaculate yoghurt"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha ha like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nigel visited a nursing home. He asks a 93 year old lady, "Have you been bed-ridden since you've been here?" She replies "A couple of times but I prefer being fucked on the sofa"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shouldn't laugh but I am lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couple sat watching TV. Husband keeps flicking channels:-

Golf,Porn,Golf,Porn,

Golf,Porn,Golf,Porn,

Wife says: "For gods sake leave it on porn, you know how to play golf !!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A boy goes on holiday to Magaluf and texts his mate saying "Weather out here is just like your Mum, 36 and hot" His mate texts back, " Weather back here is like your sister, 16 and wet"

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By *icky55Man
over a year ago

Warm an cosy cave. Brist

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The wife was trying to be sexy last night, laid on the bed sliding her lollypop in and out of her fanny and then licking it."Steady love", i said, "you'll need that in the morning to see the kids. across the road".

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By *amie0151Man
over a year ago

Wallasey


"A boy goes on holiday to Magaluf and texts his mate saying "Weather out here is just like your Mum, 36 and hot" His mate texts back, " Weather back here is like your sister, 16 and wet" "

lol

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By *amie0151Man
over a year ago

Wallasey


"The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

"

lol

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